Video summary
The video explores the concept of existential terror, specifically how the fear of death evolves as people age. The speaker recounts a conversation with an acupuncturist who explained that while young people are naturally terrified of death and driven by a desire to achieve and accomplish things, this fear slowly dissipates over time. In youth, individuals often experience a "youthful madness" characterized by unjustified self-belief and the hope that everything will work out if they just keep taking risks. This mindset is compared to watching Kobe Bryant in his early Lakers years, where he possessed an unshakeable belief that he would figure things out, even when missing shots constantly. The speaker notes that this fearless energy is wonderful in one's twenties, allowing for the creation of bold works like *Reservoir Dogs* or *Boogie Nights*, before older age brings a retreat into caution and questioning of one's path.
The transcript also delves into the speaker's personal background regarding spirituality and how it influenced their relationship with mortality. Although the speaker's parents were not religious and never discussed God, the absence of faith created a "gaping hole" that took a lifetime to fill. The speaker admits to holding onto the phrase "Oh God" out of fear rather than belief, noting that the terror surrounding the Soviet Union during the Reagan years added to the anxiety about nuclear attacks. This combination of no religion and high political fear left the speaker without a spiritual framework, making the concept of death even more daunting. The speaker expresses a unique duality in their fear: they are terrified of nothingness after death but also find the idea of living forever equally scary due to its sheer enormity.
Ultimately, the discussion concludes with the realization that while the existential terror has lessened for the speaker, it has not disappeared entirely. Through reading Buddhism and exploring various spiritual ideas, the speaker has come down significantly from their earlier state of panic, though they remain unsettled. The core argument suggests that death serves a structural purpose in pleasing the human psyche by getting people off their asses and motivating them to live fully. The journey from the manic hope of youth to the grounded acceptance of later years is presented not as a loss of wonder, but as a healthy understanding of life's relentless nature and the courage required to face its inevitable end without succumbing to despair or denial.
Read the full video transcript
Number one, existential terror.
>> Yes.
>> What are you afraid of, son?
>> I feel like my existential terror has
gotten a little better. Like as you get
older, you're like,
it won't be that bad to die.
>> Yeah.
>> You know?
>> Well, you you know what the thing that
people underrate with suicide?
>> Mhm.
>> It's a bit of like, I don't have to take
this [ __ ]
>> [laughter]
>> You know what I mean? It's the like life
is so relentless, and you're like, you
know, I could end this.
>> Mhm.
>> It's a little bit empowering.
>> That was a line that Owen Wilson pitched
when we wrote a script together in the
'90s. We were writing a movie for him
and Rip Torn.
And one of the lines he wrote for Rip
was uh sometimes the best thing you
could say about life is you can end it
whenever you want.
Um and I don't mean it in the sense of
like like a suicidal way. I just mean
you know, like I saw this Japanese
chiropractor,
uh you know, Eastern medicine person.
>> The level of doctor this guy's at,
[laughter] you not did not insurable.
It's Brentwood only.
>> is a cash situation.
>> Yeah. It's the you not do don't even
look it up, guys. You can't you it's
word of mouth, and you got to know.
>> Yeah. You got to know like people that
you can't believe someone would know.
>> But as I'm getting acupuncture or
something,
I just said to her, like, how do you not
be afraid of death?
She
right? [laughter] These are the
conversations I have. And she said uh
you know, you're supposed to be afraid
of death. You know, when you're young,
you're supposed to be afraid of death,
and that's what your life is, and you're
trying to achieve and accomplish and
have this life. And then and she said,
you'll see as you get older, it slowly
dissipates.
And I have found that in in in a healthy
way that I understand what that is. You
have a a youthful madness and energy.
>> Mhm.
>> Which I always think about in terms of
early in my career and all my friends,
the madness of thinking that you might
succeed. Like the the self-belief that
was completely unjustified. There was no
proof, there's no evidence that it would
work out.
>> feeling it's like a mania.
>> Yes.
>> Or like this this hope that borders on
mania.
>> Yeah.
>> And this like if I succeed, if you and
Ben make a TV show
that works, and you'll never have
another problem.
It's over like you're set. And that's
what I remember it was like this thing
of like if it it everything would takes
care of itself.
>> It's like I used to watch Kobe Bryant
when he first got to the Lakers. I had
season tickets. And he just missed so
many shots.
>> [cheering]
>> And you would watch him and he was 18,
19 years old.
And he didn't care. There was just a
part of him that was like I'm going to
figure this out. And then he did and I
watched him figure it out.
Uh over, you know, a couple of years.
But he had that madness of
this is going to all work. This plan of
having the courage to keep taking risks.
>> Yes.
>> It'll work. And that's what I look back
and see with young people I know now.
I think we're built to
to go for it and believe anything is
possible. And then you get older and you
people get retreats and they get more
scared and you know,
people make less movies and they slow
down or they question what they're
doing. But there's something really
wonderful about being in your 20s and
being, you know, like a young Tarantino
lunatic making Reservoir Dogs or Paul
Thomas Anderson making Boogie Nights.
>> Yeah. All right, so what's the
existential is it has it gotten how did
it get better? You'd think just time?
>> I know I my parents weren't religious at
all, but they didn't replace it with
anything.
They never said we don't believe they
didn't even said they never even said we
don't believe in God.
>> Yeah. was not discussed.
Ever.
>> Did you see you but you would see it in
movies, right? And go like what I mean
Oh God was out.
>> Oh God.
I thought you didn't believe in me.
>> [music]
>> Uh
that's just an expression.
>> I held onto Oh God. I was hanging onto
Oh God for dear life. I wanted George
Burns to be God.
>> So it you had nothing.
>> So I have nothing and also in that
period there was a an enormous amount of
terror about Russia.
So in the you know the Reagan years, the
early 80s.
They were scaring us into thinking a
nuclear attack was going to happen at
any moment.
>> Yes.
>> So that along with no religion, no
spirituality. It's not like someone was
explaining Buddhism to me. Or
reincarnation or anything.
That would just became a a gaping hole
that it's taken a lifetime to try to
fill it with something.
>> What is the when you think is it the the
however long the death sequence is
>> [laughter]
>> is it or is it the nothingness that
you're afraid that will follow it?
>> It's funny because I have a nothingness
fear but I also if you said
you can live forever that's scarier to
me.
The idea of that.
>> So there's no pleasing you.
>> There's no pleasing me.
>> [laughter]
>> I'm screwed either way.
>> The why would that scare I used to want
to live forever. What why does that
scare you?
>> The enormity of it. Uh it's just too
much.
>> Oh that's interesting. There is
something structural about death
that pleases the human psyche.
>> Gets you off your ass. And you know
since then you know I've I've read a lot
of Buddhism and I'm I'm interested in
and all of those ideas and I'm certainly
not settled but I I I probably have come
down
a lot compared to
to what it was.