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Joyful productivity with a toddler? Aim for steadiness first

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The video addresses the unique challenges faced by mothers who are simultaneously running a business and raising a toddler while adapting to a new culture, such as moving from the US to Pakistan. The speaker emphasizes that for parents in this situation, especially during the first few years with a young child, the primary goal should not be "joyful productivity" but rather achieving steadiness. With a two-year-old requiring constant attention, managing interruptions is inevitable and exhausting; therefore, simply surviving the day without breaking down or losing one's temper is considered a significant success. The speaker validates that context switching is a major drain on mental energy, and unless these switches are predictable and planned in advance, they disrupt focus and prevent deep work. Consequently, creating a steady rhythm of self-regulation amidst unpredictability is the most realistic and commendable objective at this stage of life. To build this necessary steadiness, the speaker shares their personal evolution from valuing total schedule freedom to actively seeking structure. They now implement a routine that includes morning coordination with a partner regarding childcare, followed by exercise and dedicated deep work sessions before the child enters daycare. This structured approach ensures that essential tasks like physical health and significant business progress are completed early in the day, making the rest of the time more manageable. The speaker acknowledges that feeling alert and slightly pressured while the child is at a new daycare center is normal and expected, but they encourage trusting this process as familiarity grows. By securing these core blocks of time, parents can avoid the trap of trying to force excessive hours into an already stretched schedule, which often leads to burnout rather than growth. As businesses face revenue plateaus, there is a temptation to simply work longer hours, such as increasing from fifteen to twenty, but the speaker advises against this when dealing with young children and cultural transitions. Instead, the focus should shift toward working smarter by optimizing existing time and leveraging available resources. The transcript highlights two powerful tools for efficiency: artificial intelligence and human assistance. AI can handle research, brainstorming, content creation, and administrative tasks overnight, effectively acting as a tireless assistant that operates while the computer is closed. Furthermore, given the location in Pakistan, there is an opportunity to hire qualified, cost-effective human freelancers to manage specific duties, allowing the parent to focus on high-level strategy and creative work without sacrificing personal well-being or family time. Ultimately, the message is one of compassion and realistic expectation for mothers navigating complex environments. The speaker urges listeners to celebrate their ability to maintain any level of consistency, labeling it as becoming a "superwoman" worthy of gratitude. By redefining success from high-output productivity to sustainable steadiness, parents can reduce stress and potentially find joy in what they have already accomplished. The conversation concludes with an encouragement to explore AI tools or local freelance networks to optimize workflows, ensuring that business growth does not come at the expense of mental health or family stability during these formative years.
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Larissa, thanks for letting me record this, and you have a you're you're blessed to have a a business where it brings you, you know, full-time income. Um, and you're also a mother of a 2-year-old. And you just relocated to a totally different culture. From US to Pakistan, right? Like Like you're juggling a lot. I I'm now I I'm now about year three into moving to a different culture from US to Mexico, which is not not as different from compared to US to Pakistan. Uh, you have to deal with time zone and everything, too. So, so I feel like it took us like 2 years at least to get settled. You know, and you're like just on that cusp right now, and we're we're moving to year three. So, things are much more steady now, but I don't have children. So, especially young children. Like one young child is already like a two full-time jobs, you know, in my experience when I've lived with my brother when he had when he had a young child of 1 or 2 years old. So, I don't blame you at all for for for having to deal with a lot of context switching. Because a baby is like context switching, you have to be a context switching expert. Okay, now I got to deal with that. Now I got So, so context switching, meaning I'm working on this, and now I got to work on this other thing. Or I have this interruption. Is a killer of joyful productivity. Um, you know, unless unless the context switching is planned and in advance and predictable, rather. The more predictable your context switches are, to say, "Okay, I know that in an hour I'm going to be doing this, and then 2 hours I'm going to be doing that, 3 hours I'm going to be doing that." It's very steady schedule, then the context switching is your brain is already preparing for it. It knows what the day's schedule is. It's preparing for it. But whenever you have an interruption, you have to context switch, and your brain gets discombobulated, and and if you have another interruption, yes, yet another. So, right now, honestly, just surviving is success for you. While the baby is young, I'm I'm serious. I mean, unless you have full-time help, right? Like or if you're the full-time help for the baby, just surviving, meaning and I don't mean like, you know, on the verge of um giving everything up, but it's more like just getting through the day without without, you know, freaking out or having tantrums or whatever yourself, is success, in my opinion. Without breaking down, without like just And so, I feel like joyful productivity is not even the the goal right now. If if I were you, and I'm not, I couldn't couldn't even relate, but it's like the goal right now is more like steadiness. It's like, how can I produce steadiness in my self-regulation throughout a typical day with all the interruptions and all the stuff that I have to deal with that is often unpredictable. And it's like, if you can reach steadiness, I'm I'm celebrating. I'm like acknowledging and honoring you to no end because having a young child is like that. It's so I just want to I just want to encourage you to say, you're probably doing great. >> [laughter] >> Your standard right now shouldn't be joyful productivity, it should be steadiness. And the steadiness is is a you're it's you're you're being superwoman already if you can create steadiness in your life and in your work. You should really be grateful and appreciative of the of what you've created. And maybe that'll bring a little bit of joy. You know. >> Yeah. Can I respond? >> Yeah, please do, if you'd like. >> That's helpful to hear. And something I've recently started in the past month is to So, coming I would say um in the previous So, before I started my business and had a child, I had a year of a sabbatical. >> Yeah. >> So, that year plus this past bunch of time, I think it was a lot of like I wanted the freedom of setting my own schedule every single day. >> Yeah. >> And I relished it. I needed it. >> Yes. >> And what I recently realized is, okay, I actually want more structure now. I've I've gotten my dose of that and I want more structure to create the steadiness. >> Yes. >> So, what I did is realize in the morning, I'm just going to get up, >> Yeah. >> um get my trade with my husband in terms of who's watching the baby in the morning, >> Right. >> go go get my exercising. >> Yeah. >> And then the latter half of the morning is my deep work time. >> There we go. >> So, then come and and our baby is in daycare, but there's this feeling of like during this It's just 7 hours while he's in daycare. Like >> Like yeah, yeah, yeah, you're you're looking to looking to see if you're alert, essentially. >> Yeah. So, I guess there's a little bit of like Yeah, that pressure feels like it really removes the joy. But maybe maybe that's okay. >> and and and I think that's to be expected when this daycare place is relatively new to you. I mean, everything is relatively new right now with the 2-year-old, but it's like once the daycare has been proven in your mind that it's okay, they do a really good job or they will let me know with enough notice whenever there's something I need to attend to or whatever, then the steadiness can come in. But right now, I think being alert makes sense as as a as a mom, you know? Yeah. >> Okay. >> I I it sounds to me like you're already you're already making headway in in creating that steady structure for yourself to to be able to have something more predictable. >> Yeah. And and so I think I'm I'm like, "Oh, by By the time I break for lunch, I basically like the two most important need things exercise and you know, 3 hours of deep work have been accomplished for the day. So everything is sort of downhill from there." >> Right. >> But I think recently realizing like sort of feeling like if I want to make more, I feel like the business has got a plateau in terms of the revenue and feeling this what I I don't know. Anyway, maybe this is not Anyway, my hypothesis is right now is, "Oh, to push through the plateau >> Yeah. >> maybe I do need to put in more time. Maybe I have to try really hard to get from like 15 hours to 20 hours." >> Well, >> And then I'm like, "Oh, it already feels so hard to squeeze them in." >> No, I know, right. Well, I mean, of course, there's always an opportunity to optimize the the hours you spend at work. And of course, there's always opportunity to also do more, spend more hours, but right now with a young child and new new culture, yeah, I I don't blame you for not being able to to carve out more hours. You should probably work um think about working what is what is working smarter might mean for you. That's probably a a priority to like just noodle on. I don't know if you use AI tools, for example, but if you do, nowadays AI is so good that it's literally an assistant now. Like my AI does so much for me. It does stuff overnight. And it brings it to me in the morning. Like researching, brainstorming, whatever, posting, you know, fixing, whatever. Does it overnight. You know, my computer's closed, but it wakes up the computer and then it does stuff and then it closes again. It's amazing. So I feel like if if you uh you know, for people who who who don't like AI, if you can afford a human assistant to to do these kinds of things, Pakistan there's very very famous for smart and and low-cost freelancers, okay? >> [clears throat] >> So, you're there in the country, so you might be able to find some human assistant to help you that's that's well qualified or, you know, and or use AI to to do that. But yeah, there probably is opportunity, obviously, to to optimize and and to grow by doing some research about how to get better at certain channels or how to, you know, what what other channels you should be using to for growing um you know, audience and revenue, that kind of thing or sales, you know, optimizing your sales um process, etc. etc. Yeah. So, I hope this is helpful, Marissa. >> Thank you. >> It is.