Jocko Willink, Matt McCusker & Jeff Dye - Mostly Wise #3

Did you guys ever consider a career in the military? >> I I remember I was in graduate school when I would get the reserve emails and I really thought I was like damn 20 grand right now. And I was like I can't I remember my wife's like, "Dude, anyone I talked to was like you're going to hate it. Don't you can't just go away." I'm like, "It's just the weekends." And they're like, "Yeah, every weekend for like what, four years?" And I was like on the brink. And then they were like, "Dude." And I was like, "Yeah, I'm not doing that." So >> I've never considered it ever. Ever. Not even once. >> You could have done a career in comedy. I don't know. This could have been a We could have found out that everyone's original life plans had crossed over. >> I wish I would have done it. I could have used some structure, some discipline, some uh older male influence. I could have used some everything that the military teaches, I think I needed and would have been great, but because nobody was giving me the discipline to go, "Hey, you should go do that." I didn't do it, you know? >> Yeah. >> You didn't even have the discipline to start becoming disciplined. >> Yeah. When you grow up like me, dude, on the mean streets, you know, it's either gang life or basketball. And I chose No, that's not real. >> I I remember. Do you know what it was? I remember they repealed don't ask don't tell. And I was like, "All right, I can't I can't join." >> What's that? >> It was if you're gay, you're not supposed to ask someone if they're gay. Now I think you're like allowed to ask. I don't know what even happened with that. >> I think you ask for their papers. >> This is your area of expertise. Chuck, what happened? >> There was a time where are you a gay citizen? >> Yeah, you could you couldn't if you were gay in the military, you couldn't say anything. So, it was they weren't allowed to ask you, but that but you weren't allowed to tell anybody. >> But could you [ __ ] Jo? >> Who cares about telling people you're gay? I know that's all these college kids. >> I'm pretty sure you could. Yeah. Thousand guys. I can't confirm that myself personally. So, >> good night to confirm. No. >> You just put in your ear plugs in the bunks like these guys. >> Just statistically, if you have a thousand guys in one boat, >> that's going to happen. >> That's part of one of those guys. >> You just got to be first, you know, and if they're going to get me. >> Well, I mean, you know, it doesn't have to be like that, man. >> Oh, I didn't know. God damn, >> man. I didn't know where we were headed. Is there a height limit in the seals? I have to like if someone's taller, right? Like you're what 6'4 a.m.? >> Yeah. Like you get like 6 67. There's just more of you to hit. >> I don't think there's a height limit because there's a guy that I think is 67 or 6'8, something like that. Seal. >> What's the shortest guy in the Seals? I know no woman has ever cracked it. >> I want to say 53. >> Oh my god. That's a bad dude though. 5'3 and still did it. >> No women. Did you guys know that? >> In the Seals. There's never been a woman named >> Not yet. >> That says you, dude. >> Well, there's that French WBA player that >> she wouldn't make it. >> That's what the current transat Have you seen this guy girl that's in? >> Yeah, she's going viral all week. She's having a good week. She's probably real happy about all this WNBA kurfuffle. >> Yeah. Do you know the story? Can you explain? >> Every video has popped up. There's just a trans Yeah. >> It's a It's a biological male that transitioned into a woman who's playing in a professional women's basketball league in France. And because the Sophie Cunningham and all the issues in the last few weeks with the XXXY kind of campaign drumming up all this trans talk, uh they're like, "Well, let this lady play. Draft her over there and watch how inclusive they'll be." But everybody's just showing videos of this like muscular. I mean, she's jacked. >> Really? She's almost like a guy. >> I mean, I'm for it. I would I think it's time. The WNBA >> WNBA is turned into It's a drama now. It's like race. It's like racial kind of tension. throw that on top of >> sexual orientation. Apparently, all of the the straight chicks get bullied and stuff in the uh locker room. Can you tell me this? Like all of the Yeah, it's like inverse homophobia, >> bro. How pissed are they going to be when the first >> when the first trans WNBA player is straight and white, they're going to be pissed >> and French. >> Do you know what I'm saying? Cuz she's trans, but And they're going to go, "Look how inclusive we are, but she's still straight and white." >> I kind of want to turn the WNBA into like the XFL. I think we should just make it like even what's XFL. >> XFL was when Vince McMahon tried to like start his own football thing, but it was like >> it was just chaos. It was like NFL Blitz. Like you could have a guy on the sideline who at any time could just run in and hit somebody catches >> and then he was like I was like we're going to put cameras in the women's locker room and we're like what women? That's football. What? Like it was >> that was just he was just thinking of a WWE internal memo. >> Okay. >> Literally that was the thing. The guy that did WWE tried to make a football league >> and it went >> badly. >> Yeah. >> One season I remember the one their jerseys the names one guys was like he hate me. >> Yeah. They got to wear nicknames on the jersey. I like that. >> That was cool. >> Yeah. It was like a spectacular failure. He tried to I think for maybe one year and it just didn't didn't work out. >> They brought it back. They brought it back like years later. It's did also bad. >> Yeah. >> Sorry. Bless you. >> I've done this a lot, guys. I'm very professional at this. sneezing, interrupting. I'm sorry. >> What do you think about this stuff, Jo? >> It's interesting to listen to. >> It's like a day carry stumbled upon. >> I'll be honest, at first I was I was WNBA hater. Now it's like it's exciting. I like I love the drama. Now you're telling me that you're you got some more another dimension of the dramas coming in. It's like, yeah, this is >> Well, if they do it, I'll watch it then. If they start putting in some uh some trans athletes, I'll watch that, I guess, for a minute to see if it changes anything. >> I think it will. Like there's a pro girls baseball league right now. It's like a softball thing. I've been watching that and it's been fantastic. >> But >> Oh, that's on in the gym. That's on in Lifetime. >> It's been great. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, it's been awesome. >> That softball pitches are It's not about them being women. It's about if the product's good enough. >> So, like if the if the women had 8 foot rims and these chicks could dunk on each other and the court was a little smaller and the ball was a little smaller, I would probably give it a shot. But the problem is like I watch whatever the best of the thing is. Like like I've got NBA, I can watch that. They're better than these girls. And so I don't want to watch a worse product. I don't watch high school baseball and then be like, "You're being mean to the high school boys." It's like, "No, I watch pro baseball. They're better than the high school boys." >> What about college? >> I also don't have a wife that's going to get mad at me for saying any of this [ __ ] >> I don't think wives care. Wives wives don't care at all about the WNBA. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. No one has a wife who's like, "You better shut up." >> I'm from LA. I don't >> They all care. >> But the number one consumer of female sports is still men. >> Yes. >> Like it's really Yeah. the number one spectator. It's not women watching women's sports. >> I'll say 100% of the people who watch the WNBA are uh they they all like women. If you watch the WNBA, you go home to [ __ ] Like that's a rule. Do you know what I'm saying? If it's a guy watching the WNBA, he likes chicks. And if it's a girl watching the WNBA, he likes chicks. That or she likes chicks. That's how it works. Nobody's ever dunked the ball and then went home to wiener. That's not a It's all It's a fair point. It's all [ __ ] >> It's testosterone. >> Yeah. >> But when you think about sports that don't have that skill gap like BJJ, >> right? That is just as popular. A lot of the UFC female UFC fighters. Ronda Rousey was like one of the biggest stars in the world. So maybe it is. >> What's the level of skill if it's comparable? >> Yeah. Male League to female league. >> Yeah. >> People will turn up and watch. >> Yeah. Yeah. And you could not. It'd be really bad to watch uh females fighting males. It would not be fair, >> right? We tried. It doesn't go well. >> You think the girls would have beat him up too bad. >> That's it. Yeah. >> I Whenever someone when enough >> on Pixar, they always win. >> Well, when enough people don't like a thing, I automatically like it. Like now I like the WNBA. Now everyone hates it. I'm like, it's actually awesome. It's a good ball. There's a a question that me and one of my housemates ask, which is like >> uh at what age do you think that you could beat the best in the world at a particular sport? So, you like a 12year-old elite level soccer player? >> Like, are you as good at soccer >> as a 12-year-old? Like the best 12-year-old in the world? >> No. >> Like, could you submit, you know, like it's different, I guess, in BJJ because of weight classes and stuff like that, like the best 15year-old in the world. I wanted to do this on a show with fighting. I came up with this idea where like I want to like, you know, you get a 5-year-old in there, it's easy, pretty easy for me. And then we go six-year-old, I go, "Yeah, this is what I mean." And we just keep ranking up until someone beats my ass. And it's probably going to be an 11year-old that just annihilates me. And that'll be fun to watch, too. >> Do you train? >> Uh, no. That's another part of it that it would be pretty quick. You know, you could find a 10-year-old break my ankle and knock me the hell out. Um, but yeah, for sports that's interesting. I don't know because I'm not very good at soccer and [ __ ] either. How do you guys reckon you get on at seal selection? Jo got to kind of assess people for a good while. Like if you haven't got a background like >> I mean I just think about I've been swimming. So >> you have been swimming. >> Good to go. Yeah. I'm pretty much ready to go. >> How hard can it be, man? >> Ready to go pretty much. Just let me know. >> I bought this watch at Paner. It's Navy Seals. So Oh yeah, you're >> think I'm ready to rock, dude. >> How much is it? >> What's the physical requirement? Like what would you actually >> The physical requirements are pretty low actually. They're not anything crazy. And if you were like a normal high school athlete, you have the physical capabilities of doing it. >> Interesting. >> Yeah. But once you get in there, it's definitely challenging from a physical perspective. >> Only in the sense that you get so physically beaten down and broken down that mentally you have to be able to hang on. So >> it's, you know, everybody says is it's more mental than physical. That's not really true either because if you can't climb that damn rope, >> then you're not making it through. >> How's the rope? Yeah, there's 30 foot ropes, there's 10 foot ropes, there's a bunch of different ropes. So, that's just one example, obviously. But some guys, you know, it's all mental. No, you need to train physically because otherwise you won't be able to get through any of the basic physical competency tests that you're going to get. >> But it is mental, too, because you can have total studs going through there and they quit just as much as a a slacker. >> Now, is the rope like a like a a like a a-frame wood thing that you climb up or you just have to climb? >> Lots of ropes, right? >> Yeah. There's an obstacle course where you got to climb a whole bunch of different ropes and then there's just straight up 30ft rope. Like there's 10 of them out on the beach and you just got to climb these ropes >> and back down. >> Yeah. You make make you climb them until you can't climb them anymore. >> Dang. >> Can you tell me a story? I was asking about why there's an age limit and I think is it 30 30 34 35 or something the selection tends to get >> it's around 31 I think is the actual cut off and occasionally a guy will get through that's like 32 or 33 got a special permission or special waiverss they call it and then maybe a 33y old but that's that's >> it's rare I was asking about the cargo net there's these huge big cargo nets that you climb up and I think you told me a story there's some dude who's like super fatigued got over the top and essentially from the top of a 30 or 50 foot cargo net with all of his [ __ ] on just like just hit the sand. But he was 21 so he's made of rubber and magic. So he just bounced onto his feet and ran off. >> What? >> You know like just somebody from like a high and then landed and was largely okay. And I think okay that guy plus 15 years at like 38 like you're dust. >> Yeah. >> You've just evaporated from my attorney right away. >> I break my leg they take my house away if I break my leg. You know, that's that's a wrap on me, you know. >> Yeah. Yeah. Were you able to pick very well, do you think, before people came in? >> Matter of fact, I was just talking to somebody the other day that's a that did a bunch of years as an instructor and said, you know, could you eventually figure out who's going to make it? He's like, nope. >> You can't you can't look at a human being and figure out if they're going to make it or not. >> Interesting. >> Just just can't tell whether they're 5'3 or 69. You know, you think that guy's too small or that guy's too big. Doesn't matter. >> Yeah. >> It's just there's something there's something in their head that makes them not going to quit. I saw a thing on Netflix about the Navy Seals that pissed me off. They used to do this thing and I believe they still do it, but this was Netflix. You know, they said that they once you get through the thing and that's very hard, right? And then you go to now you're in the platoon, you've done enough time where they go, you're in now. You've you've passed it even after the buds. Like you've you platoon cuz sometimes you make it and then you you can get kicked out cuz you're not you're not made of whatever. But then they put this thing on you, they punch it in. All the guys go and they punch this like uh this crest on what's it called? >> It's called a trident. Yeah. >> Trident on you and they all your sergeants everybody they get to go give give you a nice punch but you made it now so you're happy. They're like they stopped doing this in 1994 because of hazing or something like I'm like what? You don't have to like worry about the Navy Seals you know it's not like he's going to be like after all of that they I need to file a a report against my like what are we doing? >> Yeah I >> they still do it don't they? I would be confident that they likely still do that. Unofficially, of course. >> Ridiculous if they stop doing that. But that's what Netflix in it. >> Well, the problem being that if you've been through eating sand for like a week with no sleep, some guy hitting you a little bit too hard on your new button, >> right, >> isn't the biggest crime. >> Sounds kind of lame to do it at all. >> Well, no, it's not nothing. I mean, they're really putting it in your skin. So, it's it's not nothing. But what I'm saying is that like we >> it's an honor at that point. They're like, "It's I'm proud of this badge. Like, this should mark me." >> Oh, no. I'm with Chris out. Punching a keychain is kind of like >> Yeah. Well, we're not made of what they're made of. >> Well, you do that with black belts. >> Black belts as well, right? When someone graduates. >> Some people do. They whip you. Yeah. You walk down like a gauntlet of guys on either side and then as you get your belt, you get whipped. Not everyone does that. >> Some people do, some people don't. >> Okay. >> You know, just depends on the vibe of the school, what you're into. You got to get that last little lick in on somebody. I guess you got >> before he's got the black belt on. You need to respect him. >> Yeah. Whip it up like a dish town. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Well, apparently they said >> that to strangers just to confuse them. What is that guy's deal in here? >> What's his problem? >> Yeah. They uh they said we're like, you know, it's modern people are one of the first societies that don't have like a ruthless entry to like manhood. So like pretty much every other society beforehand you had to do like really shitty [ __ ] up stuff. But you were there was like a a thing that moved you from a boy to a man. >> Is that not the misogi? Is this uh >> it's something like that, isn't it? >> Yeah. The right of passage type >> thing that jumped off the the the tower with like the vine around their legs. You ever seen that? No. Oh yeah. Dudes at somewhere in Africa, they build like a tower out of whatever trees and bamboo and stuff and then they tie a vine around their legs >> and it stops them just short of hitting the ground. But yeah, that's their mandate. >> What kind of knot are they using for that? >> A good one, I guess. >> A vine. >> The most non vine jacko, man. >> No, they used to do they used to do a thing called a sub incision where they would take a a a boy's penis and slit a cut up the front of it. >> Oh, I had this. Yeah, >> you had this. Oh, wow. You're in like the tongue tribe and was making >> they would cut it open so you would like I don't know. It was supposed to like remind you about like girls or something. >> Oh my god. >> But they would slice your dick and then it would like heal. What kind of girls are you talking about? Vaginas. It was just kind of like this is what vaginas are like. And it would cut a giant hole in your penis and be like >> that's good. >> It's called the s. Then it would heal up and you would always Now you have like a man's >> I have no trouble thinking about girls and I've never had this procedure at all. >> Well, imagine >> how much more would I think of how much unlocked if you done it. >> Holy crap, dude. >> Unbelievable. >> Girl crazy. >> Yeah. The things people used to do were crazy. They would do another one where they would just pick two villagers and they would be like, you know, a boy and a girl. They'd make them have sex and they would just crush them with logs and everyone be like, "All right, happy new year." >> Yeah, >> that was like my kid though. What the hell? It >> was pretty brutal. >> Why' we use my kid? >> You mean like Greeks throwing plates at a party or something? >> Yeah, this was like way way back like you know in like Papa New Guinea or whatever. >> You know, you're always gonna have people that are [ __ ] A lot of this is just people that are [ __ ] because you know, you take anybody and they're like going to initiate people and you'll find initiate you like, "Hey, good job, you know, good job." And then and then you're over here like with the with the scalp, right? There's always people asking real to go next. It's the same. And that's why, you know, you talk about some of this Navy stuff. It's at a certain point, military indoctrination or military hazing rituals. There's always someone that's like, you know what, I got a better idea and it's going to be doing something really stupid. You used to have like a safety guy. You know, if you if you have a a hazing incident going down or a hazing ritual, you have to have a guy that's like, "Okay, hey, bro. No, put the scalpel away or whatever the thing is. >> Get off your face because we're subt there are sadistic people in wherever in any organization. And by the way, when you get rid of like the actual soft people. >> So now you get you get rid of the soft people and you just have military dudes like Yeah. There's there's even more sadistic people in there. So you got to have some kind of limits on what you're doing. Otherwise, people are getting their scalpel on their dick. >> Yeah. Like that like that pirate was there was some famous pirate and the only reason he climbed the ranks so much is cuz he was more psychopathic. He was like I'll just I'll get him to talk. You want me to cut his dick off? And they're like what? And then he would like literally and they're like, "All right, that's the new guy." Like they they would just out barbarian each other on the pirate ships for rank. >> That's one of the reasons that psychopaths are supposed to have existed. Like why why would they uh prevail? Like why would why why would they have stayed in the evolutionary gene pool? It's like, well, if you've only got 50 of you, it's maybe not that useful. But if there's a little few more of you, maybe you need some Vikings to go and raid Lindesfon and like pillage and come back and not have PTSD and you go, "Oh, like you're actually kind of destructive in a small group, >> but pretty useful if you've got a couple hundred of you and there's there's there's enough people there." And yeah, we used to have this like a a little a little drawing in the SEAL teams and it was it was a a little frog man like a little frog and it's and he was inside of a glass case and it said in case of war break glass. And that's true like there are guys even if you look back at the historical you know military heroes. A lot of those guys were totally out of control as normal civilians and then whatever a war broke out, they joined up and they're a hero and they have something to do and something to focus their energy on and something to put their aggression, their testosterone to. That's the 100% the guy you want. >> That's the tool. >> So, it's rough when you're in peace time and you got these guys that are are, you know, they're Vikings, right? They're they're just born and bred to kill other people and then you're like, "Hey, actually, you got to be in a uniform inspection tomorrow." The guys are like, "What are you talking Those guys are weapons. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> It's like it's like stirring your coffee with your gun and they're like, "What are you doing?" You're like, "Well, I'm using the wrong tool." That's all. >> These guys are tools, you know? They're like weapons. Yeah. They don't know what to do when people aren't using them as a >> weapon. What do you do with those? Just like just like a working dog, right? Like a working dog. You do. People say, "Oh, you I got a German Shepherd." Like, "Oh, it's a you know, German Shepherd like working dog." And no, no, no. You don't want a working dog in your house. You don't want the dogs that we had in the military. You do not want one of those things as your pet in your house cuz it will bite some people. That's what they do. That's literally what they're bred for and what they're trained for. >> And so you can't just have that thing in your house and expect when the Amazon dude shows up he's not getting a a a bite on his neck or his face. Like that's what's happening. So there's guys in the military that are 100% like that and they're barely hanging on. And when you're in a leadership position, you're like got you got to hey, you got to check on those guys. You got to make sure that you give them some outlet for the aggression that they've got. >> What sort of outlet do you give somebody that isn't just more war? >> Well, I mean, you you luckily working out doing jiu-jitsu, boxing, fighting, wrestling, and and again, that's you're doing that to to mitigate the amount of aggression that this Yeah. It's just like pressure release. It's not saying that occasionally a dude just doesn't go out in town and beat up like four bouncers at a bar or whatever, you know? Yep. You got to deal with it and it happens. And a lot of times those guys, you know, in the Navy, as your career goes on, you on your uniform, you get stripes. I think it's one stripe on your sleeve for every year that you've been in. And if you've had good good conduct the whole time, those stripes at a certain point, they all become gold. And if you don't have good conduct, then you have red stripes. So you see like in a SEAL team, a bunch of those guys, they've been in for 20 years, they got red stripes. Like they got in trouble here, they got in a bar fight there, they got in. Yeah, that's that's kind of >> It's like the rings of a tree and going like, "Oh, that year was a really rough one. That was the one when he got back out the booth." >> It reminds me of Red Dead Redemption when you're going through and you're like it lets you know if you're a bad cowboy or a good cowboy as you're going, but since it's a video game, you just go [ __ ] full bad cowboy. >> Yeah. >> But that's the same thing like you can see your honor. Like it's it's like an honor kind of thing. >> It's been tracked. What are without saying who it is or whatever, what are some of the like most extreme guys that you'd seen either in the seals or that you'd heard about like people who had a you're talking about very very extreme people in a group of very extreme people. Are there any examples that sort of come to mind where you think [ __ ] >> guys? There's guys that definitely would get kicked out of the military because they got in too many fights, got drunk too many times. And again, those guys, a lot of the times, those are guys that you would want in war 100%. So, you know, what you're looking for optimally is a guy that can contain that enough that they can make it and and still hold just about hold on. And of course, you know, you need like the real professional guys and that are that are going to keep control of those dudes because if you don't have that, then it's going to get out of control real quick. And occasionally like platoon would get, this is in the SEAL teams, a platoon would get disbanded. They would just take a whole platoon and just disband a platoon. And usually that was because the leadership didn't have control over the boys. And if the boys get out of control like that, there's nothing to stop them. And eventually they're just going to get in enough fights and break enough stuff and you know just do bad stuff. >> Script. It's like the Lord of the Flies with the guys at the back of the kids at the back of the class that always sit in a row and they always disrupt everybody else and you're like, "Hey, no, you you you got to be over there. You're in a different group." >> The concept of the movie The Dirty Dozen, right? Is like we got these guys. They're all in the brick. Like they're criminals, but we've got this kind of mission that needs to get done. Cool. We'll put tape them and put them over here. That's what we're going to do. So there is an element of that. You know, you don't you don't wake up like me. I'm a kid. What you ask a kid, what do you want to do when you grow up? Oh, I want to go carry a machine gun and kill people. That's not that's not a normal thing, right? So, you've got those people. That's what we want to do. And so, of course, you're going to end up with some people that are like that can't really can't contain that as well. And it's, you know, it's it's a bummer. But it's also, again, go look at the history of American heroes. Not all of them. Some of them are Boy Scouts, right? Some of them are legit Boy Scouts and they were they were just good people that joined the military for God and country. There's that's absolutely an element of our American heritage, but there's another American heritage of Hell's Angels, right? You're in the military, but you could have been in the Hell's Angels cuz you want to fight and you want to carry a machine gun and kill people. That's of course you got people like that. And you know that's what that's what the military is. It's made up of those and and the military puts like you were saying earlier, you you needed discipline. you needed some direction. And and that's true for a lot of young men that want to fight. They want to carry a machine gun. They want to go to war. If you don't join the military, what are you going to do? You're going to end up in some kind of a gang. You're going to be a crime criminal of some kind. So cool. Join the military. We'll take that energy. We'll take that aggression. We'll take that testosterone and we'll do something totally productive with it. And and and most of the time, you know, most of the people in the military, they're able to contain it. And they they get through or they get through their career and then it's fine. Occasionally a guy like just as a little off gas happens and boom, you get a little explosion and somebody gets stabbed, somebody gets, you know, whatever. Big fights happen and bad things go down and people get kicked out of the military or they get sent to the brink or whatever. >> The supplement industry is full of products making claims that they can't back, which is why I'm such a massive fan of Momentus. 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That's l i v m o m n o s.com/modernwisdom and modern wisdom at checkout. >> Yeah, I I remember I was in uh figure I think I was in like Tucson and there was uh there's a bunch of Navy Seals there and they met me after a show. But we're all just like hanging out and I I met them before in San Diego and they're just, you know, just chilling and they're pretty like it's like plain clothes. It's just like pretty much flannels and [ __ ] And uh these two girls were there talking to them by the time I got there. And then the girls were with these guys who kind of came later and started kind of like puffing their feathers up and they had no idea these guys were like Navy Seals. And I was watching the whole time like please [ __ ] kick their ass. I want to see it so bad. >> But they they were they were reserved. They had one guy finally went up. It was there was like eight of them. I'm like dude you guys are going to die. Well, they kind of know that this light work, you know, this >> Exactly. They were they were kind of laughing, but at the same time, you could really see them kind of like and then eventually one went up to him was like said something to him. They were just like, okay. Left. >> Where can I get one of those working dogs? I hate my Amazon delivery gun. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I tell him, put the packages on the patio. Don't leave it at the door. The selection the selection of working dogs is probably the most stringent way more stringent than any >> military special operations selection process. The amount of dogs that enter the pipeline to become a working dog is probably like one out of every 20 or 30 that actually become a full-fledged working dog. Yeah. >> Any girl dogs? >> I don't know. I I think so. >> Why is it Why? Why? >> He hates girls. >> No, that's not true. >> Is it not joining the WNBA? No, no, no. I was trying to say it would be that women could start using that argument like there's plenty of girl dogs in the seals. >> They're probably Girl dogs are vicious, dude. Girls, they probably want a girl dog. >> Jared, chat GPT. Are there female working dogs in the SE part of the SEAL? In the military? Yeah. What's the proportion? I want to know what the proportion of >> I want to make up my earlier sexist remark. >> You're looking for equal uh He said a sexist thing, but then he really won us over about the female >> the dogs because the dogs can dunk, >> which is what's important, >> right? I saw Airbud. Airbud was a a girl dog, so she broke a lot of boundaries. >> Uh they do >> uh 73% male, 26% female. >> Go up a little bit. Go up because the the patrol and apprehension. Okay, they're in there for patrol. I didn't see a patrol and apprehension at first. >> What kind What are they? Belgian malwis pretty for the most part >> in in the SEAL teams it's mouse. Yep. >> Sure. >> And because they're smaller smaller, easier to like jump with. >> You ever see how high they can jump? >> The Belgian Malwa. >> Yeah. They're psycho, >> dude. They can they can like 8 foot fest right over. >> It's they're insane. >> I need one, man. My literally I I want to get Malwa so bad. The first time I ever saw one work, it was this training training event and we're taking down this big building and they they're like, "Hey, we got to have this dog out here and he's going to, you know, we'll show you how it works and everything." And I'm kind of like whatever, how's this dog going to whatever. I just didn't really think much of it. And all so they had a guy that was planning in the dog suit that was going to run away from the target building. And so I'm outside on the, you know, ground force commander. I'm watching. They go, "Hey, you know, here the guy's going to run away." So, I'm watching the see the guy run away and I see the dog, you know, they're like they say whatever German words to the dog and the thing's like and just locked in. I was like, "Oh." And then he says what gets this dog wanted blood and he lets there's a quick release that they have like a trigger on the on the leash. Pulls that thing and this thing, bro, it took off going 1,000 miles an hour. launched at this dude and just took him down like nothing and just started mangling this dog suit and I was like, "We want these things. >> That's what we want." Yeah. Yeah. >> So [ __ ] put the metal implants on the can. >> It's like those predator dogs from that movie. I'm telling you. >> Yours is Yours is in the [ __ ] side car of your motorcycle with goggles on. >> Hey, tell me where to get one of these. >> I kind of want a dog that will bite it. >> These [ __ ] at the coffee shop are always giving me a hard time, you know? I want a little respect around that. >> You come in with a malenar and a trigger. this side. God, you don't want me to release this. Joo told me it's going to [ __ ] be bad news. It's going to lock in. I don't know German. But >> there there's a guy I don't I don't know if he has he's only made a couple videos, but his he owns a convenience store, so he just he has some sort of trained dog that he like unleashes on people loitering outside of the store. >> Yeah, that's great. >> He only has two videos. >> We need more of that. >> He has to wait for his content. >> Two videos. He's in jail. That's what I mean. >> He's just like, "Go." Or the dog, the dogs don't bite. They come up. The guys Jesus Christ. >> Yeah, people are scared of dogs. There's a big like K9 unit thing inside of the military and then you guys have one for SEALs too. >> There's Yeah, there's So there's just dog handlers. The mil the whole military all almost all ground troops have some access to some kind of military dogs. So military working dogs. Yeah, >> that's [ __ ] cool. Seals should get some water animals, dude. Figure that out. >> They have them. >> They do? >> Yeah. >> How does that work? >> Top secret. >> Uh >> and I want names this time. All right. That's how you get podcasting clicks. You say names, first and last name. exploit. >> I don't know the name of this particular dolphin, but Yeah. >> Yeah. >> They have they have Yeah, they have they have mammals that work. >> Yeah, they do. >> Yep. >> Do you remember? >> Like a dolphin. >> Yeah, like dolphins and others. >> No, they don't. China doesn't stand a chance against us. >> I feel like we're really breaking new ground sharing this. You might get in trouble. >> Yeah. No, >> they got water in the Navy Seals. >> Yeah, >> that's sick. >> What do they do? You know, they they perform various missions for You're [ __ ] with me, dude. You're absolutely f I'm not falling for it. >> No, I want to believe so bad. >> Like a dolphin like a little turret on its head. >> It's not a turret. >> Yeah, it's a laser like a >> I don't know how much this this is uh available on on the internet. You have to ask your people for the internet. >> Okay. >> On the Can we Can we see military dolphins? >> So dumb if this is made up this [ __ ] I want to talk to the guy. No, I want to see if it's true. >> Jock's making sure that he's not going to get popped by the DoD. >> True looking dude. >> Never mind. Don't say anything. Don't risk it. >> Do you remember we were at dinner with Palmer Lucky and he was somebody asked him a question. You know Palmer? He's the guy behind uh Anduril. He made the Oculus which was that that VR thing. And tagline war technology company is fight unfair. That's the tagline. It's so [ __ ] hard. And he has an answer for every if you just want to ask him some [ __ ] about like, hey, how would this have a military application? And we were at dinner. Do you remember someone asked him about has anyone tried to make sharks be useful? And he's like, oh absolutely. Because the uh immune system of a shark means that they can go forever. So what you do is you get a bag of glucose, stick it to the side of a shark, put a [ __ ] hypodermic syringe in, it never needs to eat. You you use it as like a tracking animal, and this thing can like go for a thousand miles without having optimistic. That's real optimistic, you know, cuz you go, "All right, we got this shark. We put a thing with the glucose and the syring, and so far he's eating a thousand fish." How, you know, >> they don't need to eat. >> But my point is, he's not going to do what you want him to do. How do you do the shark to go get these Russians or Yeah. How do you >> I wasn't in the technicalities. Okay. I'm the ideas guy. >> Yeah, cuz I just the sharks. He's swimming around out there. We spent 100 grand on this [ __ ] and now he's just feel the glucose thought on how to give him the orders. We're supposed to be eating Koreans right now. He's out there swimming around trying to bang another shark with a glucose syringe on it. You know what I'm saying? Like it's not >> I don't know. I believe the dolphins do get into the John Lily. >> The military dolphin pro crowd. >> Dude, I'm going to smile thinking about this tonight. >> Seth, >> just restart that from the very beginning. What does he say? I can't confirm or deny whether we have kamicazi dolphins. >> America's top military leaders were asked about killer dolphins. >> Can you kind of clarify these reports of kamicazi dolphins? >> The animation's so funny. >> The question sounds ridiculous, but the history behind it is real. Since the 1960s, the US Navy has trained dolphins and for military work, not reportedly to blow things up, but to do things like find underwater mines, recover lost equipment, and help protect ships and harbors. The program is called the US Navy Marine Mammal Program and it still exists and America was not the only country doing this. During the Cold War, the Soviet Navy built its own military dolphin program in the Black Sea. After the Soviet Union collapsed about >> and in 2000, the BBC reported that Ukraine transferred part of its military dolphin project to Iran. That's why this now the US and Iran are already [ __ ] is there a dolphin battle important oil routes on Earth. And now even the weirdest pieces of military history are being pulled back into the conversation. So no, the Pentagon didn't confirm kamicazi dolphins. But it did confirm something else. The standoff with Iran has gotten strange enough that weaponized dolphins are now being discussed at a US military briefing. >> That's what Also, you just think it's not going to go well, dude, cuz the dolphin's going to swim up to some fishing boat. You know, it's going to go, "This guy's got fishes up here." And then, you know, like it's just not You need control of these things. >> They're trainable. I peted one in Mexico. >> Unreliable. >> I petted a dolphin in Mexico. Friendly as hell. >> Yeah. Well, that's my problem. They're actually scary. >> He's going to come up to you and then you go, "What do you got ticking on your back there, buddy?" You know, >> dude. No, they're actually scary. I thought dolphins were like you play in the ocean. I would [ __ ] myself if one of these came up to me. They're huge dolphins. They're terrifying. >> Like big water dogs. >> I was in the thing in Mexico. They get you get in like a little like it's like a little dock but under the waters you can stand. They swim up and I was like my kids were there and they were scared. I'm like, "Don't be scared, guys. All right. >> Really? >> No. Just just touch it. You could tell. >> I was like, "Oh my god." >> You go first, little buddy. >> Don't be afraid. That's bait. >> Yeah. No, I think they're sweethearts. I rode them around in Mexico before I knew it was not appropriate. >> I posted all the photos and everyone was like, "You monster." I was like, "I'm just kidding. It was a fake." >> You bet pictures, huh? >> You bet a dolphin, too? >> No, I rode it around and [ __ ] Yeah. Like it was like Yeah. Like you could grab on it. Uh >> grab it fin. >> My girlfriend at the time was small enough that she could uh Not that I just don't have a girlfriend anymore. There's nothing like the same girlfriend. She's gotten bigger. >> She didn't sound like that. >> Got to do the sperm wheel. >> My girlfriend back when she was small enough. >> No, but she would actually stand on that [ __ ] in there. She was able to do it because she was, you know, >> little. But I had to like kind of lay down and like let him pull me. >> You're like boogie boarding. >> Yeah. I didn't know that they hate it there. Those dolphins that like cuz they're they're meant they're like they use echoes and they're used to like miles of sea. So, it don't matter what you put them in. They're gonna freak out and they're feeding them full of fish with little uh pills for ulcers and Yeah, it's not good. But we didn't know any of that. And then we had a fun time. >> Yeah, it was a great day. It's like 200 bucks. >> Yeah, I I same way. I got there and I'm like, "Ah, man. This is kind of sad in that little pond." But >> they're looking at me like, "Help me." You got >> I was I cheaped out. Give me a ride. >> Got yourself into this. >> Yeah. I cheaped out on the like >> the Lord of the Sea thing where you could kind of like hold both. >> It felt cool. >> It looked awesome. >> Yeah. Was this when you were so Were you sober at this time or no? >> No, this was a long time ago. Like 2008 or 2009. >> Okay. Yeah. Drunken dolphin. >> We were drunk for sure. >> Yeah. There's no way you're doing that sober. >> Yeah. There's no like sober. >> Also, so many stories in my life are like I went to a thing that was for kids. >> Yeah. >> And I'm the guy there that's like, "Yeah, I'll do this." And then everyone's like, "Why is he out here?" >> Like, "Want to run the bases at the Cardinals game?" And it's just me and like a bunch of little kids. And so there's so many of my stories of just drunk Jeff with a bunch of family things. >> Does sound bad when you say that. A bunch of stories with drunk Jeff and a bunch of little kids. >> Well, it's like Yeah, these families are going, "Why is this guy with all the kid? This guy sucks." >> Yeah. I went to a water park way too late. It was me and Shane went Me and Shane went to a water park and it was like a small one, too. I came down the water. We had like gym shorts, too. We didn't bathing suits. You come down, you come down. So, you're instantly like vacuum sealed. just your [ __ ] tiny flashing penis sticking out and there'd be a guy just waiting for his kid. There just be me like >> he's just like my same age just be like what the [ __ ] >> Why are you doing this? Yeah. >> Why should the kids have all the fun in here? >> I can't tell you how many times I've been to like a shoe store and I see like one of those light up LA Gear shoes. I'm like, "You guys have this in a 12?" And they're like, "No." >> Yeah. Wheelies. >> We have them in four size four. >> Wheelies would be so sick. >> I Yeah. I I've never had >> any special ops any special ops applications with the wheelies. >> I don't think so. >> That would be sick. >> I don't think so. >> Let's get on it, dude. >> A guy from the UK ran a marathon in wheelies. >> Really? >> That's cheating, though. Isn't >> that cheating? >> But it was way harder. It was infinitely harder. Like, cuz only the only way that it's better is if it's mostly downhill, >> right? >> I hope it's >> And he he we he only wheelied for very small parts of it. And like if you think about how you have to run, you have to run right on the forefoot or else you've just it's basically an unstable [ __ ] >> Don't they retract? I thought they retracted somehow. >> I you know the technology of the wheelie better. >> You can't even talk about classified. >> That's classified. What is everyone doing though? Like like >> that's a cool >> I just did a Navy Seals podcast yesterday. Sean Johnson, the security guy for Joe Rogan or whatever and he's a great guy. Good. And he was like, "Yeah, our guest before us ran 500 miles." Uh, he ran silic. Why didn't you What are we doing now? Now it's not a You hear about David Gog, the guy ran a [ __ ] [ __ ] tongue. And he goes, "Yeah, but this guy run a [ __ ] ton on drugs." And he go, "Oh, okay." And then now this guy's running a [ __ ] ton with wheelies. What's everyone up to? Uh, did you see >> pushing the envelope, man? >> What is going on here? >> Having sex. You go, "Holy [ __ ] Bring him in." >> Dude, imagine cuz you know everyone's loved ones. You do a marathon, everyone's like family and friends are watching just they're all usually pretty Yeah, you just that one glide. It's like cheating though. >> Just kill me then. Just let me go out. >> Suicide. >> It's a peak moment. No one can do water. They're like actually Yeah. >> Uh Nims Purgger. >> Yeah. >> Passed away. You know that guy? He was the >> the uh best death zone mountaineer on the planet. And uh he had >> the Netflix documentary. did did my show, did Rogan's show, and uh he passed away just doing some mountaineering stuff like he was a a not GEIKO, what's the >> Yeah, he was GKEO. Well, he was, but then he eventually went into >> Yeah. So, he's like British Special Forces, SAS. >> Oh, wow. >> Uh and then I mean, he did these as descents without oxygen. Like the most gnarly [ __ ] like, oh, we're at the top of Everest and some guy needs oxygen and we don't have any. >> I'll just give him mine and I'll just go down normally. Uh, and yeah, he he that was he he did it. >> Yeah, there's all part on psilocybin. You know, >> that might have actually been the thing that could have fixed it. >> Wait, maybe he could do that with wheelies. We could talk to >> Everest with wheelies is actually harder. Like >> the first guy to summit Everest without legs just happened. >> Oh, Jesus Christ. This is what I'm talking about. >> No, >> that's so impressive. What are you doing? >> Get the video. >> Just have a regular life. >> But he's trying to. He's got no legs. I know. >> Also on every to be up there. >> He needs to get up there on Everest. Apparently, giant sheets of ice will just flip off and they could crush that whole base camp. >> If you and your partners sleep best at different temperatures, it is time that you join us in the modern world and got an eight sleep. >> I've always wanted to try eight sleep. Uh, which side of the bed you prefer? I usually take left, but I am flexible. >> You're not sleeping in my bed, mate. >> Oh, when you said partner, I just assumed >> I mean a romantic partner, you know. >> Of course. Eight Sleeps Pod 5 is a smart mattress cover that actively cools or heats each side of the bed by up to 20°. So if you run hot and your partner runs cold, you're both happy. >> So hypothetically, if your bro was sleeping over, what side of the bed would you prefer? >> I'm not 12. There are no sleepovers. Okay. Best of all, it's got upgraded sensors that run health checks while you're asleep, tracking things like abnormal heartbeats or sudden HIV changes. >> What if I just slept at the end of your bed like a dock? Did >> your wife kick you out again? She did. Fine. Okay. Yes. Pod five. It cools, it heats, it elevates, and it's clinically proven to give you up to one hour more of quality sleep every night. And if you're still on the fence, they have a 30-day sleep trial. Plus, they ship internationally. Right now, you can get up to $350 off the Pod 5 by going to the link in the description below or heading to eight.com/modernwisdom using the code modernwisdom a checkout. That's ei.com/modernwisdom and modernwisdom a checkout. There's a documentary about uh the Nepal earthquake that happened and it was during Everest climbing season and I think there's one and then there's maybe an aftershock and another one and it is [ __ ] insane cuz most of Everest is the kind of valley. It's not actually it doesn't look that much like a mountain. And it's just this sort of big valley thing in between a ton of other peaks. And you keep going up and there's base camp 1 2 3 4 and then there's this special pass that's like a big [ __ ] ravine. And you realize even from going up to coming back down, [ __ ] changes all the time. Glacia is moving. >> If you like fart too loud, [ __ ] moves up there. And a big earthquake that flattened half of cat >> like that goes and there's videos of just the gnarliest [ __ ] avalanche you've ever seen in your life. >> Yeah. God's just looking at us going, "What are they doing? >> Stay down. >> What the hell's back in the water with no [ __ ] legs?" >> Yeah, you can't breathe. >> He's still climbing around up there. God damn it. Like, what are we doing? There was a documentary on Netflix about >> Look at this guy. >> Look at him. >> Yeah. >> Man with no legs makes history by climbing Mount Everest using only his arms. >> Maybe play maybe in the headline put his name. Don't call him man without legs. >> Look at that. See, that's what that's what you should be doing. >> Man with 34th birthday up there. There's no store for cake. >> Former Russian paratrooper lost both of his legs in 2015 after military >> cake in cold. >> It is difficult. >> Is that AI cake? What's going on here, >> dude? Apparently, so that that guy John Crackour who had the whole in a thin air thing, he wrote that book being like nobody should do this. It's so dangerous. You can die. And uh he said like, you know, years after it published the what are the the guides called like your what are those dudes called? >> Sherpas. We're like, "Dude, we can't thank you enough, man." Like thousands more, thousands of people come. Like the industry >> when he did it, he was maybe 450 people climbed Everest. Like 10 years later after the book, it was like 33,000 people. >> So everyone who started, they were like, "If that guy can [ __ ] do it, I can do it." That's what he said. People need him. People will meet him and be like, "If you can [ __ ] do it." >> Well, now all these guys with legs are going to be like, "This is easy. He's piece of [ __ ] >> Got two legs. >> Need to lose one leg or two legs and one arm and then I can do it and try and beat the record." >> I got two legs and no cake. I'm going to be WHIPPING UP THERE. I DON'T KNOW. LIKE I WATCHED A DOCUMENTARY ON Netflix where they they were talking about this terrible avalanche that you know um you know crushed a lot of people and it was a pretty heavy documentary but they were talking about just working at the camp setting up before the terrible thing happened in the story of or in the documentary and they were like yeah we'd we'd have to wake up every morning that time of season and go set off explosions. They would cause little avalanches just so that the people could be living there. And I'm like, why is >> Yeah, >> you're you're already playing with fire if you live in an environment where men and women have to wake up at 6:00 a.m. and go set off explosions to do like you're already you're already in the lion's den. >> You're on the edge a little. >> Yeah. What are we doing? Do you is the If you go to do [ __ ] in the snow, which military subdivision gets sent to go and do that? >> Everybody trains for the Army and the Marine Corps and special operations. Everyone trains to do snow snow work, >> right? >> Yeah. And the same for desert and the same for >> Yeah. And you know, there's some geographical kind of destinations that are a little bit more more obvious for some units. You know, if you're deploying over to Europe, you're probably going to do more snow work than if you're deploying to South America, >> you know. So, you kind of figure that out that way. >> It's pretty [ __ ] cool. >> What's your favorite element or least favorite element? >> Uh, man, I like kind of like them all. They're all They're all a little bit different, you know. Um, but growing when I was growing up, you know, as a kid in New England and like I thought I was going to be fighting in, you know, the I thought I was going to be fighting in Vietnam, but I ended up fighting in the in the desert and in the city environment. So, I guess I'm kind of like that. >> You went from humid jungle to open urban sand. >> Yeah. Yeah. Or city, >> you know, the city environment. >> Mhm. >> But they're they all have their own little unique challenges and it's always interesting and you got to get good at each particular one. And I would I always say I'd rather be cold than too too cold or too hot. >> But >> the woods. That's so main, right? The woods. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Bigfoot. You might be the guy. >> Oh, yes. Right. You're big foot guy, huh? >> Well, I'm just saying let's get you Let's get you in the woods back to where you know, you know. You said you like all the area and then let's get you to kill one of these [ __ ] >> You're the guy. >> Could be. Could be. >> Why not, man? >> I don't know. Did you ever research igloos about like how much they they apparently they're like they can take like snow can trap heat like an unbelievable level. >> Really? >> Oh yeah, dude. Like >> I've never once looked up igloos in my life. >> You never been to a children's museum? >> Well, like I when I was in kindergarten it's like A B C D and then when it gets to I there's a picture of a [ __ ] igloo. That's all I know about it. >> Walk into igloos. Igloo. >> Make some make that your next drunk kids. Go kids museum. I really grown up a lot. That's the problem. >> It's just Bigfoot and cigars, man. I've grown up a lot. >> What can igloos do? >> They just trap like an unbelievable amount of heat. Like way >> they're made of ice. They're not made of snow, right? >> Now you're [ __ ] me up. I I >> blocks of ice. >> They're like blocks of snowish ice. >> Yeah. >> Snowball snow. What's that called? >> There's a snow that doesn't snowball snow. >> Yeah, it's compactable snow. >> All right. Okay, cool. >> Snow ice hybrid. >> In your defense, you said you never looked it up. He did. >> That's true. I've never heard this stuff. I just read a placard in one kids museum and I was like, whoa, it's like 400. It's like 400% of heat or some something surprising. >> Well, there's a if you fall in water in like snowy environment, you're supposed to take all your clothes off and then roll in snow, right? >> Yeah. So, you'll die quicker. >> They go, let's just [ __ ] end this. You just roll around in the snow. >> Get back in the water and drown yourself. >> So, you definitely have to take your clothes off. You definitely have to take your clothes off if you're wet. Yeah. You want to get dry. I'm pretty sure that the snow is like absorbent because it's not it'll help to get some of the water off you roll around in the snow. >> I'd also I'd be a snow leopard in the winter if I took all my clothes off. You would not be able to see me at all. I'd be completely camoufl secret. >> You wouldn't see me at all. >> I'm for real. Like I My wife laughs cuz I actually did tan this summer, but I'll like walk to the shower and it looks like I'm wearing shorts. >> That's cool. >> My like my ass is so white. It's crazy. >> It's pretty cool. >> It's pretty awesome. Honestly, now I've never thought about how well I blend in to an Arctic environment. >> No clothes. I'm wearing clothes. >> It's It's actually kind Yeah, I would show you guys, but it' be weird. My ass is trust. >> I mean, dude. Yeah. Thank you. >> Cuz I've been at the I've been in the condo for the mother ship. So like I'm on the 20th floor and it's just all windows. But I don't want to fuss with all the things. So I just kind of been walking around like, you know, >> just underway. If I'm going to the shower, I'm kind of like, I'm whatever. But for you, they would see it from a distance and go, he's wearing poly. Also, if you're that high up, I if you're like in, you know, so if you're in like a hotel in New York, if you're in a high window environment with a bunch of other windows, if someone sees you naked, that's kind of on them really. >> Yeah. >> I don't if you're certain if you're up high enough, it's like I'm not what >> I also think about it like I don't think they're that I don't think going to be that interested. I think they go, "Is that guy naked?" And all right. Like there's not much. Do you ever see a naked person through a window? >> Well, if they're having sex or doing something, then I would be excited. But just a guy in the kitchen eating a chewy granola bar, you know? I would I I would no matter what I would stare I would stare for like 30 minutes if it's [ __ ] naked guy. I It's just crazy. >> Watch some old guy just watch TV cuz we could see him like I guess watching him watch a thing. >> It's an old naked man. I would I would sit there. He'd have to move. >> I wouldn't budge. I would just watch him. >> That's crazy. You never see you get arrested for that, you know, right? >> No. Not if we're both 20 feet up in the air. >> What's the floor? >> 20 ft. >> What's the What's the floor above which it's not weird? Because it's if it's ground floor, that's kind of >> ground floor is crazy. >> Yeah. But so first floor is probably also not great, you know. >> Yeah. But I can only get to her window on the first floor, you know, like do you know what I'm saying? I've never been higher. >> Double. >> So how am I supposed to do this? >> I would say double digits. Double digit. Double digit floors is international. >> So if you got a a Belgian Malininoir, it might be able to jump high enough to see itself. >> He can watch whatever he wants, dude. No dog laws. That's true. double. I remember one time when I lived in Philadelphia, I I could hear like my neighbors all the time and I thought they were having sex and I was like, "Oh my god, I could hear them through the wall and I was all excited. I'm like getting all [ __ ] hard like this is awesome." And then I just realized they I was like about to beat off >> and then I was about to beat off and then I realized they were just fighting and I was like, "Ah, [ __ ] this. It's also kind of hot." >> Now I feel like a creeper. >> I feel like a creep. >> I could have. Mom and dad it reminds me of mom and dad, you know. True arguing, you know. >> Yeah, they could have made up. Actually, >> that must happen all the time in New York. You're just so [ __ ] on top of each other like at all times. Everybody facing windows facing each other and no one's got special tinted windows. All these buildings are 100 years old. >> Yeah, >> it's got to happen all the time. >> I would imagine. Although I'm looking for it. I'm up there sometimes. No tell. I I'm I'm only just me. >> Well, that's what I'm saying. >> Sometimes the view of my room is just someone else's room. Like so that's that's what I'm always thinking about. Like in my house, I don't think about what I'm wearing, but I've thought about it all [ __ ] week. >> Yeah. >> Like I don't know. People are looking in here. >> Does is it uh Orlando airport that's got that huge hotel that's like right in the I swear it's Orlando. Really? It's one this Florida Florida airport that's got the main TSA checkpoint is just floor toseeiling rooms. >> So it's like built hotel built into the terminal. You hotel >> New York has one of those. And I always think like these they're just straight up windows overlooking TSA. So there is the potential for somebody who's like while they're getting frisked down to just look up and you're just morning glory opening the >> That's wild. >> Yeah, that's good. >> That's pretty awesome. >> So I want to spend my time >> watching people get frisked all day just >> if you're into it. >> It's a power move. >> I love security. >> I just have knives jacks my like you wish you could do this right now. Can you? >> Uh how how is sobriety going? I know that this has been big pivot for you. >> How long has it been? >> Uh, two years and nine months. >> Was there like a straw that broke the camel's back? Um, >> like some children's event that you went to. You finally finally got kicked out of >> now. Stop saying children's. >> No. Uh, nothing that stands out. I mean, getting arrested and crashing my car and fighting some cops. That that part it was that. Yeah. It was a big dramatic thing. It was a huge It was a huge embarrassing. >> How' the fight go? >> Terrible for me. You don't train, do you? >> Those boys can fight. Yeah. I was a little, you know, it was a little blurry for me if I'm honest. >> Drunk, got in a fight and that was it for you. You said no more. >> Yeah, cuz I mean like also like I had been thinking uh I should be giving up the bottle for a long time. >> Like it's in your mind and you're going h maybe cuz drinking is great. Drinking is fun until it's until you get sad or till you you know till something bad happens or till drinking has a lot of positive experiences but it was it was time to time to wrap it up. But it's been great. And I in my act I always joke about all the negatives of sobriety, but the truth is like it's fantastic and I'm very happy I did it. >> Unreal. Congrats, man. >> It's been great. Thanks. >> And did what took its place. >> Um well, I do work out way more now, which is even if it's like a crappy workout, I'm just kind of proud of myself for going like and then that gives me like a little rush of like we did it today. We're in here, you know? We're we're doing that. And then I do smoke a [ __ ] ton of cigars. >> Shock. >> And um yeah, those are the main things. Did you do drugs too when you were drinking a lot? >> Yeah, I was doing a lot of pills with the drinking, you know, cuz then I could stay awake. All my friends would do like, you know, cocaine or whatever and then like I would be passing out from the alcohol. Is this funny? >> You're a comedian. >> I know. I love it. I'm good. Coolest guy knows just laughing at this [ __ ] dude. He couldn't even >> It's a great follow-up question, too. >> So, it was like aderall and stuff. Yeah, because um I would like pass out from drinking like at my house cuz I got a bunch of people over, but I would hear them having fun downstairs and I'm like, "Dude, I'm missing out on the party." So then, yeah, you just start popping pills and doing whatever to try to keep uh keep drinking, you know? >> I've never done Adol. What's it feel like? >> Well, like cocaine. It's the same [ __ ] >> right? >> It is. >> Yeah. I can't have it. >> Act like it's none. >> I can't have it. I I It doesn't help me study. I tried it in college. I I was in a library. I started just chatting with everybody and then I I took it I took it while drinking. And I got kicked out of a Beasty Boys concert and then I snuck back. Swear to God. >> What did you do to get kicked out of a Beasty Boys concert? >> What? Oh, that's impressive. Well, it was actually So, for some reason, whenever I take Adderall and I've only ever taken it a handful of times while drinking, I get it in my head that like I have way more capabilities than I do. So, I was sitting there and I'm like I'm just like I was on this. I remember my friends had ground floor tickets. I had tickets of like this like you know not a balcony but it was like I was here and the floor was here but it was like a 8ft or whatever 6 or 7 foot drop and then I could climb back up and get on the floor and I was like if if I look here all the security guards if I time it where all their backs are turned jump and jump up I'll disappear into the crowd. >> No problem. >> Limitless, dude. >> Dude, literally I jump down finally and I want to jump into the crowd hoping like like dissolve into this. The crowd just completely parted around me. I get tackled by two security guards. They knocked one of my shoes off. So, I'm walking out with one shoe. I go out and I'm like, "Man, [ __ ] This is bullshit." And I like just kick my other shoe off. And I saw like this they had the chain league fence where people smoke. I just kind of found a gap in that, went in, went back in, and then I they saw my friend who actually back in the used to look like me. So, they were This is really shitty of me, but they were kicking him out. Mistaken identity. I kind of just was like, "That sucks." And I kept going. The guy goes saw the fact that I had no shoes on and was like it's actually him [ __ ] So then he goes back I get kicked out again and then they were doing an Aramark working like a shift worker thing. So when the people were changing shifts for the Amark employees I got in line with the Aramark employees again still in my socks walked in and then I walked under the bleachers. I was near like dressing rooms and stuff. walked under the bleachers, crawled up and I found a gap between the bleachers and there was just people like it had seats and my face just like came out under and I just watched the concert next to them and I walked all the way back from South Philly to West Philly. So >> Aderal Yeah, not good for me. Yeah, not good. I can't do it. >> It sounds great. >> It was pretty awesome. I >> don't know why everyone isn't doing it. >> AD is great when you have OCD, too, cuz you just like organize a sock drawer you never looked at in your life. Yeah, I don't I I give myself the worst missions possible and then I just I do them though. I get them done but they're not they're not like a new hour of material in Aderal. It's all useless the next day. I'm like none of this is funny. >> He was so enthusiastic about it while it's very organized like that's going to be good. >> I've heard aderall is like anti- comedy. Like people who have like I've done stand up on aderall. It's just apparently it's just a different wavelength. It just doesn't translate. >> I've learned from over a thousand podcast episodes the easier that you make your health routine the more consistent you'll be. It's like golf, right? You want to keep it simple and not mix a bunch of pills. You want the eye of the tiger, not the DUI of the tiger. That's why I'm such a huge fan of AG1. One scoop contains 75 vitamins, minerals, probiotics, and whole food source ingredients in a single daily drink. And that's why been taking it every single morning for nearly 5 years now. And they've taken it a step further with AG1 NextGen, backed by four clinical trials. Those trials, it was shown to fill common nutrient gaps, improve key nutrient levels in just 3 months, and increase healthy gut bacteria by 10 times even in people who already eat well. Plus, if you're still unsure, they've got a 90-day money back guarantee. So, you can buy it and try it every single day for three months. If you don't like it, they will give you all of your money back. Right now, you can get 20% off a welcome kit and that 90-day money back guarantee by going to the link in the description below or heading to drinkag.com/modernwisdism. That's drinkaggone.com/modern wisdom. >> Did you get through the the full like alcohol withdrawals and everything? >> Yeah, actually, it's kind of funny. I thought that I had COVID. I'm like, "Ah, [ __ ] Just my luck, man. I get arrested and then I get out and now I got CO." And then and then my doctor, he's like, "No, dude. This is alcohol withdrawal." And I was like, "Oh, [ __ ] That's a real thing, huh?" And he goes, "Yeah." And so yeah, there was uh it was it was a rough week, but >> yeah, that's like the one thing you can't quit cold turkey. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Or you can, but you you eat can kill you. >> You can die on how deep down the rabbit hole you >> and Xanax. >> Really? >> Yeah. You can die from Xanax withdrawal, too. >> Well, actually, I will admit, I've never said this before, but so when I got out of jail, I did start drinking again. I was like having beers and making light of it. And then or not making light of it, but now >> How long were you in jail for? >> Uh, a couple days waiting for a judge, basically. >> But the um when I got out, I was like, "Okay, no one found out, you know, cuz I thought to myself while I was in jail without my phone, like either everyone's talking about it or no one cares and no one knows and and they just think that I'm not answering my texts." So when I got out, I realized no one noticed. But then uh like so then I started drinking again. I went back to my softball team, told some of my close friends about it. But then like once it got public, like once everyone started dragging me on the internet and making fun of me, then I was like, "All right, I guess they need to do some work, you know, like I need to figure out if this is so that the humiliation of everyone knowing about what happened is what made me take it serious." >> You know, I wrote a book called Extreme Ownership, which is about like taking ownership of what's going on. It seemed like another move could have just been like own it. Like, hell yeah, dude. It was a good night. >> You're You're a comedian, right? You just be like, "Hey." Yeah, dude. Yeah. I go hard. >> Yeah. >> Who's with me? You know what I'm saying? >> Yeah. Well, but also drink, but the my commitment to truth made me go, "This is a problem." >> Okay. >> Yeah. Like, cuz normally I will just own, you know, any of my thoughts or opinions. I don't really care what people think about those kind of things. But I knew deep down like this is a problem. You're using this as a [ __ ] >> The social pressure was the big kicker as well. Interesting. Yeah, I came off came off a 50 cent per day moped in Bali 10 years ago and brakes go out from underneath me as I'm trying to avoid some truck land on the Balines tarmac. All of this side of my arm is gone. All the outside of my foot is gone. Like just the left hand side of my body had no skin left on it. Uh but nothing broken. And my first sensation I'm in the middle of the road there's still Balines people like [ __ ] idiot tourist again. Here we go. Like classic stuff. My first sensation wasn't like fear for my life. Am I okay? Health concern. It was like I look like such a prick. >> It was embarrassment. >> My main concern of mortal fear was embarrassment. >> Yeah. >> That was it. >> Yeah. >> Damn. >> That's why that's what that's true. Like like I always say like uh with things like that, you'll probably notice it the next day more like when you're thinking you're going, "Ah, this kind of hurts." Like cuz in that moment you're just going I got to [ __ ] figure this out. Adrenaline kicks in and you're >> trying to walk cool. Trying to walk away from the scene cool. >> Went to a beach club. continued on to a beach club with these two Aussie guys that were traveling. So, I don't want to look like I'm not too cool. One of them was like, I'm trained. I'm sure it'll be fine. Go to a beach club. He's got like alcohol swabs doing that. Like, have you ever had alcohol like a proper open like good bit of >> so bad. >> I thought that I knew what the ceiling of >> like communication was that my nerves could could give to me. And it just blew straight [ __ ] through. I could hear it. >> I was like, I can hear the [ __ ] I started laughing. It was so painful. I was like, "This is absurd how [ __ ] painful it is." But someone just took the dial and like cranked it up to 100. >> Yeah. I had a uh ear infection when I was younger and I remember I feel like they used to dump like hydrogen peroxide. >> Yeah. They used to do that and it bubbles. >> Yeah. So I saw the bottle and rubbing alcohol was the same shaped bottle and I was like I think this is the [ __ ] that my mom pours in my ear and I dumped rubbing alcohol into an ear infection. I cried. It hurt so bad. It was It brought me to my knees. It hurt. I heard kidney stones are the worst though. kidney stones. I've seen guys go down kidney stones. What are they? >> Like you get some kind of buildup in your kidneys and it has to come out >> like pissing a rock out like a rock. >> Oh, it happens to a lot of people too by the way. >> It's like birthing a [ __ ] little infection. >> It's worse than child birth. Trust me. No, >> trust. >> But no, trust me. I know. >> Well, it's interesting you say that because we got I didn't know whether or not I was going to do this. We also have Hunter Biden on the podcast on Monday, which is going to be [ __ ] hilarious. So, it's either today we're going to do it today or I'm going to offer it to Hunter Biden. We have period cramp simulators here. >> This is some sort of feminist propaganda, isn't it? >> This is because of your WNBA thing. It can stay it can stay over there. We're gonna do it today. I don't even know >> Hunter. It's like some electronic thing, but we gave it to one of No, we gave it to one of the I'm going to have to do it before Monday if I'm going to get Hunter Biden to do it. >> Um, >> we gave it to one of the guys and he I'm going to test it on my arm and he had uh he had his wedding ring on. his wedding ring immediately started heating up and he wasn't able to like close his hand for like a couple of hours. Like Nick couldn't feel his [ __ ] arm. >> But you you you ingest it or do you inject it? >> It No, it's like a it's a one of those kind of like an ab machine thing. Oh god, I got it. >> And it >> and it's supposed to simulate >> you immediately start watching Sex in the City. >> Yeah. Order stuff off of Amazon. my first kid, my wife was pregnant with my with our first kid and I went to the class where you're going to go through like the birthing stuff and and so I'm in there and and you know I'm you know being Mr. Supportive dude whatever and you know the woman's teaching this breathing and stuff and telling me what to do and like and she's like she's going to be in a lot of pain and I and I I said you know what what's the pain from and you know just kind of you know I'd gone through like combat trauma and all that kind of stuff. What's the pain from? And the woman's like you'll never know. Oh, and I go, "No, no, I'm not saying I'll I'll know, but like just what's causing the pain?" She's like, "You don't understand what it's like." I'm like, "Okay, it's okay. It's all good. I'll just sit here and be quiet." Yeah, >> that's you told. Also, I would pay any money to see you in like one of those classes. >> Yeah, you just watch. >> There was only one. And I was like, "Hey, I'm not welcome there by that by that woman." >> You're like, "I have access to empathy. Can you please explain scientifically what briefly? There is there is a short window that this special operator is actually able to feel feelings. I'm desperately trying to understand what the love of my life's going to go through. Uh, okay. I tried emotions once and it didn't go well. It was you both in class. >> You got you're on your own. >> Dude, they're shitty. When you're like the guy in the hospital, they're like really shitty towards you. I remember we were like uh I was with my wife and we had like hours and hours and hours and I I was like kind of point man. I would run home, do stuff for like the dogs, come back >> during labor. >> Yeah. And we had like we had plenty of time and I was like and they were scheduling a C-section. I was like, "All right, well, what time are you doing this cuz I have to let the dogs out?" But I was just like, "Do I have hours or should I stay here?" And they were like, "What?" Literally, she goes, "What do you have somewhere else to be?" And I was like, "Is this going to happen right away? Like, what's the move here?" And then she was just a piece I felt like a piece of [ __ ] for even asking. Like, "Hey, just I got to do all this other [ __ ] too." Like, >> yeah. >> You know, I it was my responsibility to still do we couldn't get someone to watch the dogs. >> Yeah. >> So, I was like, "Fuck the dogs if we're doing it right now, but if we do have three or four hours, I can just >> let the dogs starve." >> Yeah. Like, what the [ __ ] And the lady, you would have thought I I'd been like, "All right, well, hurry the [ __ ] up." I was just like just curious. I wasn't in a rush. I was like trying to help. They They're shady towards you. >> That sucks. I I think the reason for that is it's obvious the price that chicks pay when they go through labor. And any guy that isn't like completely attuned to that just is seen as callous or flippant or not caring. Like, you know, you desperately trying to understand, hey, explain to me where this is coming from. Hey, we also have these fur babies at home and it would be really nice if we made sure that they didn't starve over. We had been there for a day and a half. So it wasn't like we had just gotten there. We had been there, you know, we're doing all this stuff. >> She was guessing be like, "Yeah, lots of places. It's been a day and a half." >> I was like, I just want to know if I can, I can. I'm asking you completely. You would have thought it was insane. And the worst part, too, is like for the C-section, like they dress you in scrubs. So like they they like took her back. >> Like you work there. >> Well, they took her they took her back and they was just like, "Here, put this [ __ ] on." And I'm like [ __ ] like, "Okay." I'm like crying. I'm like I'm like trying to put on my I'm just like in the hallway dressed up like a nurse just like where do I go? >> Get back there. I'm like all right [ __ ] sorry guys. You never feel like more of a boob than when your wife you know has a kid. >> Just treat you like [ __ ] They really they someone should do something about it. You got to sleep on a shitty couch the whole time. >> Yeah. And there's really no You add nothing to the >> You literally nothing. Oh god. You're you're just nothing. Like everything you say is wrong. It's just it's just it's just stand there, you know. >> I want to know what your bachelor party look like. What does Joo's bachelor party look like? >> I don't think I I didn't even have one. >> No bachelor party? >> Yeah. I mean, my wife and I got married in the San Diego courthouse, you know, like on a Thursday afternoon. >> I was wearing a t-shirt and a and a pair of surf shorts and flip-flops and went down, got married. >> Minimum viable wedding. [ __ ] Who was your best man? >> Uh I didn't have a best man there. Just like my platoon chief came down and was like, "You have to bring a witness." So I was like, "Hey, chief." And he's like, "Yo." So we just went down there and got it done. >> Sorry. Sorry. Referring to your wedding. Just went down there and got it done. >> In and out. >> Clear. You know what's really crazy? >> We've been married for like almost 30 years. >> Yeah. You know, it's like >> unreal. >> We didn't do this ceremony. She's Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Who needs flowers? >> Yeah. Me and my wife actually did it during co same thing. We got a packet of papers from city hall. Pennsylvania is like a Quaker state technically. So we did it's called a Quaker ceremony where you just get the packets from the city hall, bring it home, you sign it, you have to give it like 48 hours and then like your neighbor can come witness and sign and then you're good to go. >> Yeah. >> Would you give it 48 hours for like to let it cool just in case? >> Yeah. Let it cool out. Yeah. It doesn't just, you know, sober up. >> It's not Vegas. You know what I mean? We did do a we went to England and did we I don't know what I don't know if this is an official thing but they called it a blessing where we did like a a marriage thing in England where we pretended like we were getting married even though we were already married >> and everyone knew that we were dressed up and >> Yeah, we dressed up and all that stuff. >> Oh, it's like the ceremonial weighin. >> Yeah, like a ceremonial weighin. Exactly. We did the ceremonial even though my wife was pregnant at the time, you know, >> which was same thing. We did we had a party afterwards and she was pregnant for >> tier one >> ceremonial wedding. >> Yeah, we had >> Yeah, you are tier one. We were both how you do it. You go handle it. And then we did we did the dog and pony show for the civilians and >> there you go. >> It was the same exact thing. She was she was pretty pregnant for the wedding. Yeah. >> Yeah. My wife was like kind of pregnant for the wedding. You could tell. I could tell. You can tell in the pictures. You're kind of like, "Oh, good to go." >> Oh, there we go. >> Uh, has dating changed since you've stopped drinking given that? >> It sucks now. >> Yeah. >> Why women got ugly? the whole >> is it the women got uglier for you go who's this what's her name >> uh yeah that it is way harder cuz like drinking was is the easiest thing you want to get drinks you want to go like it's just the way and now like >> you want to go in a coffee shop and both get nervous in front of each other >> exactly that's what it feels like I literally I've been hanging out with this this woman who I really like and she's like >> I literally texted her cuz it was just not going well in the text you know she's she's a girl I know from comedy and and I It's like, "Hey, I think you're really attractive and you're nice to me. Like, would you like to go out?" Like, I just had to eventually like just be direct. >> Yeah. Because I couldn't just be like, "We're getting drinks after comedy." And then we would have like flirted there and then that would have went whatever way it would have went. >> It's like love on the spectrum right away. >> I'd like to see you. >> It feels exactly like that. Yeah. And then we watch anime and drink out and do for dinner. >> You're saying sober dating is like Love on the Spectrum. >> It is. >> Okay. >> Hard. It's not going well. >> What do you think would happen if Love on the Spectrum was done with booze then? Would that just turn normal? >> What do you mean? Like if >> you saying it got them drunk? >> Yeah, I think they can drink, can't they? >> They can. Oh, yeah. >> And they can order drinks. >> That would be Yeah. You know, >> we just If it's not spicy enough already, we can just like throw a little bit of boos into get this ad roll dealer through. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Spike in the drinks. They go, "We didn't even know it was going to >> Yeah, it would it would devolve, I think." >> Yeah. >> I think that's like That's like a very heartwarming pure show. >> I don't like it. I talk trash about it all the time. Why? Why? >> Oh, multiple reasons. This, you know, >> what's the number one complaint? >> Well, they don't pay them, first of all. Two, everyone's watching it like we're watching children dating. They go, "Oh, isn't it cute?" It's very condescending to look at grown-ups and be like, "Oh, they're dating like we do, and like I I wish for the best." It's very My biggest problem with it is it's called Love on the Spectrum, but they don't respect the spectrum. They'll pick some guy who's super high functioning and pair him with some girl who's super not high functioning and be like, "Maybe this is a match." And then they're on the date and he's like, "I think you're great and I think you're wonderful and I think you're awesome and I think you're pretty. What about me?" And then she's like, "Uh, >> handsome." You're like, "That's not perfect. It's perfect." >> No, it's not perfect. >> But my point is, I don't like it. I I think everything >> everything they're doing is like too exploitive. I don't I don't think it's good. >> I was so ready to push back. I thought it was going to be a really judgmental take from you and it's it's really convincing. >> Yeah. Well, it's actually kind of convincing. >> It's so seducing them with celebrity now. Now they like think they're famous. The one famous couple already broke up. She's on like everything now. It's just It's too much. >> Yeah, that's fair. Although, it's so sweet though. Like, you're seeing them. They're with their parents and like they're like, "This never would have happened." I don't know. I watch that. >> He's doing the exact same thing you just said. >> That's what I'm saying. >> But it's on report, bro. >> Dude, they're living the dream, dude. They're already fine. Leave them alone. They don't need a wife. They're frustrated. They're single. They want They're so frustrated. >> Why? Uh oh, here's another a part of it that that is is like they have a diagnosis, right? That that they don't like bright lights and loud noises that that the high pressure situations make them buzz. And then we're like, "How about uh how about we put them 10 camera shoot on Netflix? How about we keep interrupting them every 5 minutes on a [ __ ] first date?" You're like, "Leave them alone." If you want him to date, that's fine, but maybe don't exploit them on a television show. You know, >> not paying him is crazy. I didn't James has that. James, you know James, right? >> Uh which one is that? the guy who goes Renaissance Fair. He's got liquid. He's got liquid. >> I've seen every episode and I'm rooting for them as humans. I'm saying that when you watch the show, it feels a little icky. But what about you got to push past that. He's doing great. He's got He's got He's got liquid death sponsorship. >> That is the most human answer I've ever heard. What a great moment. >> He's got liquid death. >> Got to push back past that. Listen, he's got swords. >> Liquid death sponsorship. >> He's got a liquid death sponsorship. I I tried I watched tried started watching an episode and I kind of I didn't you articulated what I kind of felt when I was watching. I was like this is just I didn't feel good about myself watching I watched like five minutes. I'm like okay this is enough of this. >> If you've ever saw a 40-year-old dating another third like 45year-old or whatever and you go isn't it cute. It's like don't talk to him like that. They're not [ __ ] These are these are these are grown-ups with autism. Like treat them like adults. >> You would never go up to someone's table and go oh are you two having a good time? This is I really support this. You're like, "Get the hell out of here." Like it's it's it's mean. They're they're adults. Treat them like >> I watch it and I laugh the entire time. Yeah. >> And then I cry. They get me every time. >> I like their directness. But that's just autism. That has nothing to do with dating. >> It's so funny. >> I also think that's what's going on inside of every single person dating. It's just doesn't come out the same way. >> Yeah. >> The people in love on a on the spectrum don't have the filter that everybody else puts on. >> Yeah. And I like that point. But I like that about autism. I don't need them to be on a dating show to appreciate that about >> what would be great would be a Love on the Spectrum Love Island crossover episode. >> That's what I'm saying. >> Yeah. >> Like 5050 >> to just throw a couple of grenades. >> Would this be on Epstein's island or what? Dude, this sounds really creepy. >> He wants to watch and try to figure it out, you know? Very >> It's like traitor or whatever and it's like trying to work out which but you don't know. >> Yeah. blood on the spectrum and you're trying to work out which one has got which >> once you got people who are that hot you throw some autism in there it's not you know mentally you're in like thin air you're thin air >> I got to push past it the liquid death sponsorship's just whitening on the other side >> hot chicks being like you're like really funny >> you know a lot about weapons >> never knew that about medieval times. >> Yeah. >> Well, I just think also I mean it's just I think that we've got this idea of like romcoms and then that's what a relationship is which I don't believe in and so like to push that on autistic people on the show cuz they're looking for some sort of like notebook like thing. I just it just feels like very fraudulent. >> Yeah. >> Tell me if this sounds familiar. You train regularly, you eat reasonably well. 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Get the exact same blood panels that I use and save $25 by going to the link in the description below or heading to functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. That's functionhealth.com/modernwisdism. >> How do you view relationships? You you are you no romance or like how do you how do you think about romanticism basically? Uh, I don't even know how to answer that. I don't know. Like everyone else, I'd like to find a partner. I think it's good. I think it's healthy. Yeah. >> Well, you're both married with kids. What advice have you got for Jeff on how to find a good woman? >> How old are you? >> 43. Should have probably figured it out by now. >> Well, behind the power curve, as they say. One of those late bloomers. >> Do Do you uh Where do you find, you know, where are you dating? Where you where do you find your girls? I apparently you found one from the comedy scene. >> Yeah. I mean, uh, >> and you sent her weird autistic messages already. You're saying >> I like I like the way >> like where Jeff gets arrested for going to kids things. They just It's so direct. >> There's no fat on it when he talks about my life. >> What? You met a girl in comedy? You sent her autistic text messages. Is that where you're getting them, Jeff? >> Military precision. >> Use your power in. >> Yeah, exactly. Would you find some weakling that you could pick from the pack? Um, so you know, I usually just meet women on Instagram from like after comedy shows and things. >> That is a thing apparently though. >> What >> the girls after the shows? >> Yeah. Or that you meet them at the like after cuz now you know that they're interested in you cuz they saw kind of what you're about up there. They listen to you talk for 70 minutes and they go, "Oh, you know, they're interested." >> Um, and then you can kind of figure it out from there. Usually the comics go somewhere after the clubs and all that stuff. It's not a I wouldn't recommend it. It hasn't worked out for me as far as anything. I've had some some I I also think you don't get things you don't believe in. And I've been somewhat skeptical of relationships and romance in general. So um so maybe that's >> how does the skepticism of romance and relationship show up? >> Um what do you mean? >> I don't know what that means. >> Like they do you think that they're a scop like that Joo's not actually married or that Matt's like >> No, no, no, no. I think it's fantastic. I think that if you um love someone enough, you got to kind of like compromise a lot of stuff. That's what being a man is. You kind of compromise things. You say, "Hey, I can't go have fun and be drunk guy, and I can't be going doing this, and if I'm going to be on the road, I need to kind of think about how long I'm going to be on the road." Whereas, I'm making all the decisions for my career so I can have more money and more friend time and things like that. I've made a lot of selfish decisions that wouldn't It's like why I don't have a dog. I love dogs. I can't think of anything I like more. But if I was to have a dog right now, I'd be a very selfish dog owner, just letting him be at my house while I'm gone forever. And so the same thing is just kind of true with relationships. I would love to be with a partner who's awesome, who I love, and I really believe in it. You want to >> It's just that right now, well, it's just right now it's like I don't know how I'd be a good boyfriend, and I'll figure it out, and I'll make sacrifices, but I haven't found anybody worth making that sacrifice for. >> Mhm. >> That's all. >> I'm sure someone will come around and I'll be like, "Holy shit." No. Okay. Hey, I'll take this weekend off. Let's go to Mexico. I mean, I've done it before. You meet someone you love. >> Dolphin ride. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. The chick that we rode dolphins and I got an ectopic pregnancy with. >> Yeah. Do you get lonely when you just sit there? >> Yeah. We're all lonely. I'm super lonely. I don't think that has to do with single guy. I think we're all >> I've got I got a theory that single guys after 7:00 p.m. in the house go completely [ __ ] insane. >> Absolutely. >> Well, you nailed it. There is nothing that single guys in the house can do between the hours of like 7:00 p.m. and 11 p.m. that isn't [ __ ] weird. >> Joe Joe Sandado was telling me one of his one of his friends got out of a relationship and started sending him headstand videos. >> Like are you doing headstands? >> Yeah. Got into on YouTube. >> It's like it's like needy time for bed. Like what are you like doing stuff? >> Why are you upside down? It's really funny. >> Guys, after 7:00 p.m. kind of go a bit insane. >> No, I think you're right. I think it's a hilarious sentence, but I think it might be something to it. >> If you're not working and you're not going out partying and doing stuff like, "Oh, am I going to start doing like emails at this time?" >> I I sadly absolutely need a woman to structure my life. Otherwise, it's just I'm toast. I can't do it again. >> Got so angry at this. There was We have talked about this on the show before, and women got really angry. I think what they they thought it sounded like was uh guys are unable to have hobbies and like move themselves forward in life on an evening time if they don't have a woman with them. I think it's completely different to that. I think it's we are domesticated and civilized by women and if left to our own devices do insane stuff. >> Sure. Like that's not like this is how you get obsessed with like crypto or like Warhammer 40k and stuff in like way >> painting miniatures and collecting wrestling toys, you know, >> which is cool when you have room for it in your life, but it's not the sort of thing that you're supposed to do until 2 in the morning because it's like kind of taken over you. It's like you need a woman to go like, "Hey, hey, it's it's it's bedtime. >> I still need put Yeah, I need to be put to bed. Seriously." >> Yes. >> I need someone to be like, "Bedime." And I'm like, "Fine. >> Thank God. I I I'll stay up I'll stay up by myself. >> That's what I do every night. Last I knew I had to be up for a car service at like 6 or was 6 LA time 8:00 here. And uh I just watched YouTube. I watched the first episode of Hard Knocks and I was like nah [ __ ] it. I'll just stay away. I was like if it's kid mentality of like we can stay up as late as we want. >> No one can tell me otherwise. Like I need someone to tell me otherwise. >> Yeah. But I don't I'm fine. I feel good. I made my car service. >> As a man who's famously up at 4:30 a.m. a lot. Do you need someone to tell you go to bed? No, I mean I'm tired at the end of the day. Go to bed. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Not that big of a deal, I guess. Um, >> don't say [ __ ] Yeah. You don't go to bed early. I'm saying I do what I want. He's saying he does he does what he wants. If I want to go to sleep, I will go to sleep and if I don't, I'll [ __ ] stay up. That's I don't need a gal to go, "Hey, honey." No offense. >> I need that. No, I need that, man. >> I just don't uh I I would, you know, >> civilizing force. Have you ever had any conflict with the British misses around the [ __ ] >> No, >> because you're a large >> It's London time pretty much. >> You're a You're a large man. I imagine that you rolling out of bed. >> No, she she's a she sleeps pretty heavily, you know, and so I just get up and go go about my business. >> Could you imagine how much harder your marriage would have been with you up at 4:30 a.m. every single day if your wife was a light sleeper? >> Oh, yeah. That would that would be a bummer. But, you know, Getting up earlier than here? I don't understand the question. >> Is getting up early with while my wife is still sleeping. So >> famously wakes up at that that watch has had to Oh, it's a new one. >> No, it's Well, it's the same model. I got about They re They reproduced them now. So nice >> because of you. >> I don't know. Probably. Well, apparently >> you must have How many How many photos of your watch do you think you posted? Thousands. >> Yeah. Yeah, probably. >> Thousands of photos. And it's always like 4:15 a.m. 4 [ __ ] 29 a.m. >> This picture's wife is as crazy as her him. You know, she she's up before. Yeah. >> I will I what I've noticed is you have to be up typically if you're living with a woman, you should be up before her cuz if they wake up I've been in a situation where a girl has a job and I don't. Yes. >> When they wake up for work and you're in bed, they >> resent you. >> The huffs and puffs. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's they're real loud slamming [ __ ] >> Oh, there's vacuuming that needs to go. If you're asleep and they're awake, >> is there something going on there? >> Yeah, they're like, I What the [ __ ] Get up. Why am I up in your eyes? >> This guy's protecting me and you're just like, >> "Oh, this is the one I chose." >> You have a pillow between your knees. >> Yeah. Oh, I remember. And I would I'm like fake sleeping. I'm awake, but I'm like I'm not moving. Just laying eyes. The one I picked wearing a Razor Raone tank top. >> Not They're not a fan. Sucks. >> You got to get up before him. Yeah. >> Yeah. They're putting on like dress clothes and you're just like farting naked. >> Yeah. Yeah. Hair's crazy. >> Yeah. They are not They are not fans of >> I think that's what it is about being single that I like is that it's like just you can do anything you want. And that's a very selfish thing to say that like I can just fly to wherever I want or perform. I can say yes to any gig or thing like that. And I think that like a man with a partner doesn't do that. He goes, "No, we got this. We need to plan ahead. If I'm gonna do a thing, I can't just leave my family for five weeks, you know? >> Same thing with the dog. Same thing. >> Yeah. It's a little bit selfish, but it's it's it's a lot easier. Or not a lot easier, but it's it's a different type of good. The grass is greener. >> What's the weirdest date you've been on since you've been sober? >> Um, I haven't done any dates really. >> Yeah. Smashing Grabs. >> His words, not mine. I actually hope you have no female viewers. Not anymore. >> Yeah, they're going to go this guy. He sucks. No dates. >> Yeah. Well, I MEAN, I GUESS THEY ARE DATES. THEY'RE JUST not very formal. It's not like we're going to like a thing. >> Just eating [ __ ] or whatever. >> No. No. I mean, I guess Oh, I'll tell you one. Here's one. We went to a movie and dinner. That's a date, right? How was it? >> Uh God, it was not good. >> You ever had a woman come out to, you know, you can't go back to your house and change? You know, you can't like she came out of her house and I go, "Jesus, I'm going to be walking around with this." >> What was the outfit? >> She It was ridiculous. It was It was It was like uh we were going to a swingers party or something. I'm going now I have to cuz I dress pretty, you know, cowboy guy, you know? I was going She was scanny clad. You're >> saying very very revealing clothes. Silky like little like one piece dress. >> This was a problem for you. >> No, it's not a problem necessarily if I already loved her or something, but it's a first date. We're look we're judging each other, you know? It's kind of a first date. So, I'm going I don't need this, you know. But anyway, she gets in my truck and we go and um the part that made me think of it is we were watching a movie called Back Rooms. >> Now, the I won't spoil it for anybody who hasn't seen Back Rooms. It's still in theaters, whatever, but the idea is that like you're trying to put together what's happening as the movie's going. So, I'm in. I'm all in. I'm like, "This movie rules." And she keeps talking. She's like, "This is this guy is I think he's in this Heather movie." And I'm like, "Yeah, he's in a lot of movies." You know, and she just keeps talking and I don't want her talking during the movie. It's like I was with my niece or something. I was just kind of like trying to give her the signals, you know, that I don't like it. After like an hour into the movie, I'm liking the movie. The movie rules. I'm excited. I'm trying to figure out where it's going. Also, all my friends saw it like the night before. So, I'm excited to be able to talk about the thing. And then she goes, "This movie sucks. Let's leave." And I was like, "God damn it." And so we left. Never got to see the other half of Back Rooms. And people like, "How was it?" And I go, "I don't know. I saw the beginning and I don't know." But I left because I'm a good guy. >> Did you pump? Did you >> No, we didn't. Really? >> I dropped off. I think it broke her mind cuz women don't aren't used to offering up themselves in in a vulnerable sexual way with they're not they've never had rejection. Men are pretty good at it. We get rejected. We go, "Yeah, that's what it's like to be a guy." >> Yeah, you're right. Actually, >> she's ne I don't think this very beautiful woman. I don't like She was like, "What?" Like she goes, "You don't want to come in?" I was like, "No thanks." It was nice and today was great. And then she I lied. Tonight was great. And then she's like, "Well, I can come back to your I was like, "Nah, I got to get up early." Which is not true either. >> Got to go watch the rest of this movie. turning around and going back to back rooms. Yeah. >> Well, I think it broke her brain like what is he what do you mean like like it it doesn't go well for even like whatever the woman looks like there 100% of the time when they offer up sex like there's takers you know so for so that kind of rattled her I think but also I was like I'm not we talked about this last time like not being hot to trot like if you're not ready if you get the big call >> and you're not ready whether it's committed relationship or not it's like a >> there's some fallout. >> What do you think she'd say if we heard her side of the story? >> Same thing. I think she said the same thing. >> But she'd be like, "Yeah." So he comes out, gets out of the truck, like I'm dressed up nice and he comes up looking like a total movie. >> He's like, he's like all into this lame movie. >> Oh no. >> We get back. He thinks he's going to get me and I'm just like, "Oh, you can come in if you want. Please say no. Please say no. Please say no." Thank god he said, you know, you want to know what every girl has said about me that's dated me? Cuz I don't think that girl would say that. This is what a 100% of every woman that's ever been around me says. That guy won't shut the [ __ ] up. That's all it is. I'm like my whole jabbering yammering existence. I talk a lot. Like I just I So if someone's with me for longer than a month like this guy just back rooms on repeat. >> That's my biggest flaw. I can't be quiet. I'm a talker. >> Well, what what's your plan with Is it just never going to happen again? Cuz you got the [ __ ] You got the [ __ ] on ice right now. >> What does that mean? >> You put it on ice. That's what you your move what you did. >> I would never talk to that story again. That's why I don't mind telling that story. Yeah. >> I'm saying you got >> I'm not interested. >> You have it on ice right now. >> Yeah. But I could I could tell after hour one I was like this is going nowhere. What? That's why wisely sleep. >> Good for you. Especially you're not drinking anymore cuz otherwise it might be a little different. >> Yeah, I know. When I was drinking like there was a lot of casual sex. I don't do that now. >> Oh really? >> I don't want to do that. >> So you're just >> Yeah, >> that's nice. >> Yeah, I think it's better. It keeps me more level. >> Yeah. you start hooking up and then that's like just inviting these like um kind of social entanglements into your life cuz every once you sleep with a girl she's she's like oh I know that guy you know like now they got now they're telling stories and >> so now it's not c now it's not cual >> yeah I don't want to do that >> so how do you what's your threshold for entering sexual >> I think if I liked the chick I would then I would yeah >> it's casual >> no but I mean if I meant if I'm like I like her and I'm like I think I think I want to >> it's just not you're not doing it for the sake of doing it >> what's threshold if she's is into me >> upright >> if I like it >> if she wants to. >> Is this particularly bad in LA? Like I imagine sceny like parties, people talking, gossipy. >> I think LA and New York are unique in the fashion that like everyone is so single for so long. It's more socially acceptable to be single. >> Yeah. >> And so then that creates all these extra problems. Also, dating is so complicated already while it's ever changing. Yeah. So now dating apps and social media and climbing and do you follow them or do they follow you back and it's just become so it was already somewhat complex and now you have like we've normalized girls talking to a million guys at once and being like well I'm not sleeping with them. I'm just getting there's just too many things where it's ever changing that it's it's it's uh not fun. And so I think most guys uh I'll speak for the my friends and I I think they just feel like defeated like or not even defeated just like fatigued like we don't want to deal with this [ __ ] So, I just don't join in the reindeer games. And then when a girl catches my eye that I'm interested in, then I will pursue her and I'll ask her out and I'll make those sacrifices, which I've done recently. There's a girl I kind of like. >> So, yeah, it's been good. >> I >> Wait, are you married? >> No. >> Okay. >> No, we talked about this before. The uh like last chopper out of Saigon, like at what point did it feel safe to do like dating and then it it doesn't and you're just like found the check [ __ ] 30 years ago. Everything worked out great and I didn't need need to ever think about it again. Must be so nice to have just like shelved that part. Now I get to focus on everything else including building the family and having the dog and doing the business. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, this is definitely making me feel like I made a good decision. >> No, you did. No, you know like a horror adult. >> Well, so sometimes like these guys will see me doing like fun things or like I'll have like a wild night or something like that or at the golf tournament. They're like you were with like a babe last night or whatever and they're like married guys. And I and I think that in that moment they're going, "Man, this seems pretty good." I go, "Yeah, last night my life is way better than yours." >> Yeah. >> So, there's little moments where I do get to win and you guys have like this whatever. But trust me, if you found someone you love, you're winning. That's that's it. You the grass is greener over there. I I'm lonely on Christmases. I'm on airplanes alone. I'm on stage alone. I'm on green rooms alone. I'm alone a lot. I live alone. I think that there's flashes of like this is way more exciting. I'm on a jet ski. We look at her. Blah blah blah. But I think that like we're all trying to we're all trying to find love except these autistic kids >> and you're doing headstands. >> Uh some people are reportedly spending up to $13,000 in an effort to reset their body count to zero. Oh yeah. >> A clinic in Brazil is offering him reconstruction surgery with reports claiming many of its patients are women over 30 who want a fresh start before entering a serious relationship or marriage. Joo, you've got a very different kind of body count. Would you consider him highman surgery to reset yours? >> Well, I'm a man. >> He doesn't have a highman. >> You have a guy. >> But you do have a very different kind of body count to the ones that the girls are going to go and do, right? >> And neither one of them can reset it. There's nothing in the world that can reset either of those. >> That's true. That's true. But that's that's a thing. That's chicks going to Brazil. >> What a There we go. >> What a scam. >> Oh, that look what you talk. That's that's new chapter. That ought to delete Justin's contact card out of your phone. There you go. That's it. >> I mean, 13 grand for >> Oh, look. Look at that virgin. >> There she is. She got some flower water poured on her head. And now that means she didn't bang Ricky. >> Like what a dumb thing. This is such a scam. >> Yeah, that's pretty tough. They're like that. Do you ever see the cacao ceremonies people do? They like drink hot chocolate and they're like, "Whoa, I'm tripping." There's a real thing. It's called cacao ceremonies. I haven't seen that. >> They like drink a lot of hot chocolate and they're like, "Oh my god, my pineal glands opening up and they like >> Well, here's another thing. How high is your body count that you're flying there? >> You eat enough cacao." >> Like, how many dudes did you bang that you needed to go to a Ruba or whatever to get someone to pour water on your head? Like it just kind of suggests that you're a [ __ ] just doing this thing like all right sorry I got to do a trip I'm you know I got to reset my body count like that's crazy. >> Yeah. >> You don't see to be exercised. I'm going to Brazil to be exercised. >> That's insane to me. >> And I think it's a little but the cacao thing the I've seen them in like uh Kuya that that hot and cold place that's here. They do these cacao things. I I do look at it and sometimes think that's just like a holix or like a Nesquick like a hot chocolate. >> It's probably nice to drink a hot chocolate drink and chat with your buddies. >> What's this cacao ceremony? >> It's just very funny. >> Does that not look nice? >> Just drinking. It's very nice. >> To just break in there and bite him in the face. You watch this and just go, "What are we doing?" >> I kind of like drink protein chocolate protein all the time. I'm talking about I'm talking about the T >> and it makes me kind of feel like this right now on >> their head looks nice. >> It does look nice. I'll be honest. But >> this looks dumb as hell. >> Here's the problem. It's like that'd be a tough combo the entire time. >> What would the hot chocolate >> just hot chocolate talk with the dolph? >> This doesn't make you mad. >> No, me up. It's pissing me off. >> Makes me laugh. >> Look at them. I bet they're all in there go. Oh, you know >> this is a substance. >> We don't have kids. Who needs kids? Fight the patriarchy. Look at him. >> Is that not like you though? Is that not just the female version of you but with hot chocolate? >> No, that's not me, bro. >> No, >> it's ridiculous. I like the hot chocolate. Don't get me wrong, that's not what I'm judging. Dude, they >> talking about them in a tent sitting cross-legged and going like, "Hey, does it next up is a slam poetry about race." Like, what are we doing? >> Yeah, that's a thing, man. That's a >> cow. >> It's like That's like the super light psychedelic people go for. They go like, "I'll do a cacao ceremony if you don't want to do Yeah, I feel like I would do that. I wouldn't do the psychedelic thing, but I'd do the cacao ceremony. I might do one this afternoon. >> It would be nut chocolate. >> We should have done it. We should have started off with like ceremonial grade cacao. Seen who got [ __ ] actually Hunter Biden on Monday. >> Yeah. >> No, his threshold for anything is going to be period cramps while you have some hot cocoa. >> You got to try and win the female audience back somehow. You know what I mean? >> That's my bad. >> God damn it. >> Yeah, man. >> What uh are you still on? Are you weeding still? You still smoking or he's cuz he did for a while, right? >> Yeah, I did for like a really long time. It naturally kind of just fell off honestly. >> So, it wasn't a get arrested cause of catastrophe. I got a question for Matt. You still drinking raw milk straight from the >> Absolutely. >> Yeah, dude. >> Absolutely. Are you against raw milk? >> Not at all. Thought it was awesome. You told me about it. I was like, I got to try that. >> It It rules. >> The problem is you're against weed. >> My commitment to like finding this [ __ ] milk was not as committed as yours. It's hard to farmers market. You go to a farmers market. I don't even never been to a farmers market in my life. >> That's crazy. >> Those places piss me off, too. I go in, I go, "What is all this dog shit?" >> Farmers market. >> Go to the store. >> No. >> You need the raw milk. >> She's lab grown. You're eating lab grown meat. >> What the hell? >> You eat the lab grown meat in California? >> I don't want to, but it's pretty easy to get. >> Probably there. Yeah. >> What's What's the sales case for raw milk? >> You I have If I drink regular pasteurized milk, I get congested. I fart. Like I'm like lactose intolerant. If I drink raw milk, no problem. You strike me as a raw milk guy. >> Yeah, we get some raw milk on. >> It's awesome. >> Yeah. >> The only thing that sucks about is get it goes bad really quick. You got you gota you got to get really small bottles. >> So you get a bottle, just drink it within an hour. >> Yeah. No, you have you have like >> going bad, honey. >> You have six days to chug the gallon. I just we we just >> Six days is all right. >> That's not bad for a gallon. Kill a gallon in six days. >> But yeah, the uh but yeah, the weed I slow down, but it's always there. I tab it when I need to. It doesn't agree with me at all. >> I hate weed. >> It really doesn't agree with you. >> So, why do you hate weed? >> Just doesn't work for me. One, and then two, I feel like it's a dreamer's nightmare, you know? Like, all these guys I know are chasing their dreams and then they smoke weed and they just don't do anything. They just sit around. They were already kind of sitting around and now they're just all sitting around more. >> I know so many people that smoke weed and do all kinds of stuff. >> That's good. I really The world is kind of split into a few groups of people. This is a kind of an interesting thing I learned from a dude called Edward Singleand. wrote a book about alcohol and one of the reasons that alcohol got spread so wide uh civilizationally is that it's very reliable how it affects people like you drunk >> is pretty similar to the sensation of me drunk is pretty similar even if your behavior is a bit different the sensation is kind of the same but one person that smokes weed gets horny one person gets sleepy one person gets creative one person gets forgetful and lazy and it's like the fact that it's so varied means that it's kind of a bit of a shitty drug to do together cuz everyone's going off in [ __ ] different >> side or hard to understand why I would not like it and he would like it. Why don't you like it? I'm going It's terrible when I do it. You don't want to be around me when you >> I freak out still a lot, but it's kind of once you like figure >> ride that wave down. I will say I think mushrooms are way better than >> I love mushrooms. >> Mushrooms rule. I would say mushrooms. >> Mushrooms. We should do mushrooms and run a marathon after this. We should all >> actually be awesome. That would be awesome. Rock and roll. Get some cacao and some miles in it. And that'll reset our [ __ ] >> That's weird though, the alcohol thing. Like I know people that when they get when they drink they get they're crying in the corner about I know some other dude's going to fight everybody. Someone else is laughing. Someone else gets super social. Like that seems a little bit strange to me to hear that. >> Yeah, that was his argument. I I think the sensation is at least the same for most people. Maybe their behavior changes. >> Um but you you are right. I mean I ran nightclubs for a decade and a half, right? I saw a million people on the front door of nightclubs and you see every different version of like >> inner child demon come back out like my we had this pick this is kind of interesting for anyone that still works in nightife or in in hospitality. If a girl walks into a venue, a late night venue, usually after 10 or 11 p.m., wearing a jacket of some kind, maybe a denim jacket or a leather jacket, one of those like suit jacket things, and she doesn't have her arms in the sleeves, >> 70 to 80% chance she's going to get thrown out within the next hour. Like, they were always, every single time that they went in, they were the ones that would like swill someone, throw a drink on someone. It's kind of like the cut off leather jacket like >> sort of smoking kid in high school. It was just every single time it became a meme and we didn't even know why. We just kind of started to select this thing and we'd be like do jacket >> something about sleeves hell's angels never >> sure enough sure enough [ __ ] 45 minutes later she's thrown a drink over someone that [ __ ] over there she slept she that [ __ ] sl before you know it the doorstep like you know like an unwieldy cat like picked her up like this. >> Yeah. You have to you have to as a bouncer you have to like fold women's arms across their chest them on your head elbow. >> Just got to strike first. >> Slap him with a period cramp simulator in there. >> Yeah. Yeah. Triple disable uppercut. >> Yeah. Well, the the bell curve for alcohol probably is there's probably is there's outliers, but there probably is way more of just people. >> It's a good way to put it. >> Yeah, I think that's true. Weed weed in a crowd of people who are all high is like 50% of people are dipping off stuff. It's not really a good crowd thing. I'd like to know who runs PR for marijuana because like when I say I don't want to do drugs anymore, people are like, "Oh, you must have a problem." Or, "I don't want to drink." They go, "Who cares?" The second I push back against marijuana, everyone's like, "Dude, what are you talking about, man? You just got to try a different strand." And like, "Well, well, what happened?" And how many times have you tried? I'm like, "Dude, I just don't want to [ __ ] do it, dude. It's not good." And then everyone just keeps pushing it on me. Alcohol is the Alcohol is the same, though. Everyone who drinks is like, "Come on, man. Have a drink." >> Well, they want to drink with you. They want your company. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's the only drug where if you don't do it, people assume you have a problem. >> Yeah. >> Hey, dude. Why you not Why you not shooting up crack tonight? Why? What's wrong with you? >> Just do a little. >> Yeah. Just It's a Tuesday. Just do a little heroin. >> I've heard that people who start shooting heroin, there is a big thing where they're trying to get other people to start shooting heroin, too, because then they get to be the guy who gets you heroin. Now, they're like a middleman, so they can do free heroin. But they're bad salesmen cuz they're all like over and you're like I can't trust >> I used to I used to work with this guy and he had just he would just be sweating all he was shooting heroin all the time. >> He could be like me >> sweating all the time and he'd be like dude honestly if you shot one bag you'd be partying and like dude it was he was living in this like pretty [ __ ] up thing and his like girlfriend was there just on a mattress when you'd walk in and you just be like he he was like kind of tricking her out too and it was just kind of like h I think I'm all right. I think I'm going steer clear of joining your >> the man of the people. >> So have you ever heard Hunter Biden talk about crack? Yeah, I saw that. >> I was sent you the clip earlier on today. Like what is that? >> It is just the best ad read for crack I've ever heard in my entire life. He makes sound [ __ ] awesome. >> There's a comic named Jimmy uh who is one of my favorite people in Cleveland. He's the best. And he said he did crack one time and cuz he does all the drugs and then one night he's just on one so he's like [ __ ] it, I'll try. and bought it from like a homeless guy and he said it felt so good that he started to walk to his bank account like I'm going to take all of my money and just get as much of this. The first time he ever did it, but he passed out on the way to like the ATM and just slept like on the street like get he goes, but I'm just telling you the sensation that I felt >> was the greatest thing I've I've ever felt in my life. And like that's how addicting it is. One of my neighbors nephews told he was a methhead and ended up going to jail and he did seven years in jail and he got out. He was just talking to me about and he said he tried meth for the first time. He goes, "As soon as I tried it, it was the only thing I ever wanted to do for the rest of my life." >> It's crazy. >> And he did he burned like every bridge in, you know, in in his neighborhood and his whole family and then the next city and he ended up going all over America until he eventually got busted in Texas. Crazy. Yeah. D Wild weird keyhole in the back of some people's brains or systems or whatever and just the right drug just >> like >> [ __ ] explosion like it's the rest of your life just falls apart. >> Yeah, >> that's how opiates are for some people. I remember I tried like percoetses and stuff and was like >> that like a painkiller. >> Yeah. I was like not really for me. I was like I don't understand these things. I know people tried them. It was that was it. They were just like this is it. Yeah. >> This uh 70 stuff. Yeah. >> Is seven hydroxyragenine something. I watched Hamilton Morris, the dude that used to do the Vice documentaries about drugs. He did this breakdown of of what was going on with it. It's being used to get people off opiates, but it's they're also sold in gummy bears at gas stations. >> It's based. Yeah. >> It's like pressed. It's like It's like, you know, like tran is fentinol's fentinol. >> Uh it's this but legal. And the [ __ ] shell garage on South Lamar has just got stacks and stacks. And so there's cratom and then there's the 70 bills and then bills. >> Will it impair you if you drive? Like is it I don't understand how 13 times I think more stronger than morphine. >> They're selling it at the 7-Eleven. >> Yep. >> And then it's called it's like per like PR KS. >> I think they're illegal now. I think they're making them illegal. >> Yeah. Trying to Yeah. Right now >> they're like apparently I I think they're I swear to God like >> I think it's maybe even today that they're trying to pass the >> vape shops are crushed between the THCA or what is it delta 8 THC that now if you get call it delta 8 in Texas you go to jail for like five five years. >> What's that a strong form of THC? >> Not even but it's like the synthetic THC stuff that they were selling in vape shops and uh now all that stuff's like super illegal in Texas. Like a vape cartridge I think a vape cartridge is like 5 years. What they kept on doing was basically adding some new molecule. We're going to change this one bond and this one bond and it doesn't affect anything to do with how your body interacts with it. Delta 9, delta 10, delta 11. It just keep on running away and the legislation can't catch up quickly enough. And >> what's going on with this world? >> It was the farm bill. The farm bill said farm bill that people you like you could grow CBD basically which like hemp is weed. The same things. It's just like you can kind of you know curate it to have different canabo or whatever canabonoids. So you can grow weed with THC, that's weed. If you grow weed with CBD, it's hemp. It's like, you know, it's it's the same exact plant, but then you could do the thing where if you take every CBD plant has like 3% THC, but if you grow a whole field of it, you could isolate all that THC and get like thousands of grams of just pure THC. And that was technically legal to then make drinks with. So then they did a thing where you could have weed with THCA, which is just regular weed. When you heat THCA, it turns into THC. That's like when you decaroxulate weed to make brownies or whatever, you have to heat it up and the carbon molecule, whatever. And the uh so they were just selling THCA weed. It was just weed legally for like three years due to the hemp farm bill that was federally legal. >> That's why >> weed was legal for four years basically and then they just I think they're repealing >> changes. Have you been to Amsterdam and had the uh So, they've got mushrooms, which is what grows above >> ground, and then truffles. Yeah. >> Which is the root system, and it's just the same thing, >> but they legislated what was above ground. >> And hey, if you eat >> I like those kind of rules. >> Top part, pal. >> Yeah, that bottom part. >> The funny with the farm bill, it became that the US Department of Agriculture was overlooking weed grows for like four years. So you could literally grow weed and a guy from the US Department of Agriculture would be like, "Yeah, it looks good." There was no It wasn't They should have like the DEA, someone regulate, it was weed was unregulated for like four years. >> Some guy that knows fertilizer and crop rotation. >> Combine Harvest is very nice. >> Yeah. I had to take a selfie just to watch porn last night. >> Oh, you did it? Oh, because you're in Texas. >> Yeah. Texas guy. You got to have You're an adult. >> No. >> Yeah, I did it. >> Well, like on your phone. >> Took a selfie. Yeah. It said, "Hey, but take a selfie." That's >> take a dickpick. True. >> No, I didn't. I'm in some database now where they go, but this this selfie go he goes, "Oh, he's old enough." And then >> cuz that's not the case. And that's a real thing. I'm not making that up. >> Your political enemies are going to use that. You're in the [ __ ] >> Well, I looked at the DC. >> Sorry guys. Then I looked at porn. >> You're in the D. >> Guess I'm a terrible guy now. >> We did do it on the 20th floor with >> 15 days straight. >> You might look at some porn. Sorry guys. >> You're in Texas for 15 days. >> No, I was just saying I was alone for 15 days. Ah, I see. >> Yeah. >> What are you doing in town? What what's what else is going on? >> I've got mothership shows uh all weekend. >> Unreal. >> But then I just been doing shooting guns and hanging out with friends and >> dropping into Joo as well. >> That's it. >> Can you tell us about Can you tell that story about the huge [ __ ] off sniper rifle thing again? That was so good. >> Uh so somebody made a sniper rifle to to see if this was a good idea. And I want to say it was either 20 mm or 25 I think it was a 25 mm sniper rifle. and they brought it up to our sniper school and they wanted to see if this like it was a viable idea. So 25 millimeter is massive. This is a massive freaking bullet and this uh they start giving it to the students to see if they can hit anything. Well, you're you're like bracing for for that thing to go off and no one could shoot it properly and you know guy might hit the target one time and then they're just so petrified to pull the trigger again. They'd miss and they would just be like, "Hey, I'm not shooting this anymore." And so I have a buddy who was the senior guy that was in charge of the sniper school who is one hard hard individual and little crazy and no one could make this gun work. And then finally he's like, "All right, give it to me." And he sat down and just like gritted his teeth and just cracked off a round, hit the target, just sucked it up, cracked off another round, hit the target again, cracked off three. That's like a normal three round group. Puts it all on target. and the people that had manufactured this weapon like, "Oh my gosh, it's a viable option." And he just got up and was like, "Do not make this weapon." It was just so crazy. But >> a testament to that dude who is like just a hard crazy >> I'm like that dude. Yeah. He's like the guy one of the guys we were talking about earlier like Yeah. You know, you he he would need an outlet. You know what I mean? But that's exactly who you want in war. Like somebody that'd be like, "Oh, you want no one can do this. Go watch this. I'll do it. I'll I'll take whatever concussive impact there is to the shooting this thing. I'll do it. >> What is it that's happening if you fire a gun that's that big? Is it just the shock wave? Is it the fact that it's hitting you in the body? Like what where's the >> Yeah. The worst thing is the shock wave. Like the shock wave, that concussive wave that you're going to get over your head, you know, is going to be it's going to be gnarly. >> Like just sickness, disorienting little like microbes. >> It's like getting cracked in the head. You when you spar and you get somebody cracks you and you're like, "Oh, you see that little white flash?" And you can still power through it like he did. And then you take another, you know, crack to the head and you're like, "Okay, I can power through." >> You that's cracking you to the head. >> Yeah. You're cracking the trigger of this thing. >> And then the next day you're like, "Wow, I wonder why I have this headache." >> Oh, yeah. >> I can't remember the last day. >> Exactly. >> Is that not You know, when guys have got huge cannons and they're like in World War II and stuff like that. Would that not have been that time? >> Totally. Totally. Yeah. >> Would it affect a dolphin's brain the same as it would? >> Possibly. Possibly. I don't know. Depends on who's riding the things back. [ __ ] swimming around going out of the shock is what hurts the worst >> after like after picking mines off the straight news. Yeah, probably. >> I always think about seeing World War II [ __ ] when the guys are just loading huge shells in and then they've got a like a >> bathroom light switch pole. >> Yep. They didn't even wear hearing protection either. Like they didn't wear hearing protection. They just just got some. >> Yeah. >> I thought about that today when I was shooting it just about how much my grandpa would have loved just the technology that was in the scope. Yeah, >> the scope alone I was like this is I mean I'm nailing it because the scope is so accurate and whatever. It's like they they didn't have any of that, you know? They shooting stuff. >> What's the truth around there these rumors? I don't know whether it was World War II or Vietnam or whatever. The number of soldiers that never fired their weapon directly at the enemy. >> Yeah. >> Is that Did that ever get debunked or whatever? >> Yeah, it got debunked. So there's a guy named SLA Marshall who wrote this book and wrote these theories about how and he went around and interviewed soldiers and it turns out, you know, it wasn't true. You know, like he used it and it's kind of he had the hypothesis going into it, but it wasn't true. >> And the theory was that maybe people on one side of the battle were not prepared to try and fire the weapon at >> the the theory was like it's such an abhorent thing for humans to like shoot a weapon at other humans that they just would get to that point and they go, I I can't do it. And you know the the number was like 10% of only 10% of the troops involved in direct combat would actually engage the enemy. And so that's when they started using man-shaped silhouettes to shoot at for targets and and even putting like pictures. So you're get oh they're going to condition these guys to be able to shoot you know at manshaped targets because they said they needed that kind of conditioning. But again the guy SLA Marshall he was you know he was like a reservist and he was a he was a journalist in his regular life. So it was kind of him, you know, hyping up a story and publishing. Yeah. Sensationalism. Also pretty nuts to explain like World War II casualty numbers. Be like, "Yeah, it's just 10% of the guys." >> Yeah. >> But yeah, imagine if everybody else had decided to fire just been no one left. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. That's pretty nuts. >> Yeah. And he he kind of he also made some stories up about how much he had been in combat in World War I. So it was the whole thing and he had a lot of clout inside the military, you know, he had a lot of clout from that, you know, he he wrote that that theory. He wrote another theory about how much weight guys can carry. That was a little bit more realistic. But yeah, so it's a little bit debunked. >> What happens to guys like that? Is he on like a list right now or is like people want to kill that guy? You know, when someone starts publishing [ __ ] and making things up, it must piss you off. >> Yeah, I think it pisses everyone off. That's my point. That's a good It's kind of the the rule is the code. >> Yeah. Like hey, don't try and make yourself into something that you weren't, you know? And and generally speaking, it's like, oh, you're in the military. Good job. Thank you for your service. Whe, you know, there's a whole spectrum of things that you could do. Everyone from being a a supply clerk to somebody that's on the front lines, you know, get in direct combat. And it's like, yeah, everyone did their part. Thank you for doing your part. >> Where people get into trouble is when they make it out to seem as if they did more than they actually Yeah. So, >> yeah. Also, >> so one time I was at Top Golf and my friend Josh Nelson >> for a $6 discount, they go, "Are you a veteran or a senior citizen or whatever?" Yeah. For stolen valor, >> he said I was He said that he was a veteran and he got six bucks off. >> Yeah. I'm coming for you. What's his name? Jeff. Josh Nelson. >> Josh Nelson. 25 mm rifle. Dude, >> six bucks. Josh, was it worth it? >> He's probably getting the Chili the the the Chili's discount everything. >> Yeah. Well, she just goes, "Are you a senior citizen or a veteran or whatever the third thing was?" And he goes, "Yes." >> You know, so maybe he was stealing valor from the old people or the students. But I took it as a >> as an insult to my man here. So Josh, watch your [ __ ] back. >> What are the best privileges vet veteran privileges that you get? I always hear that you can active military gets on the plane first. That seems pretty [ __ ] cool. >> Not even first though. I think concierge key gets on before the military. I swear to God, I don't think they're first. >> We can only get concierge key if you're a veteran. >> I don't think so. >> I don't know what that is. What is that? >> Uh I don't know. Some like super skyion >> cuz I remember I I could be wrong, but I'm almost positive it's not military first. It's like I swear to God it's like it's like Sky or something. >> It's some [ __ ] >> I swear to God. >> If you have a black I could be wrong, but I I'm >> I think I think I I think you're wrong. I think you might be wrong. I think I think active duty military goes first. I think that is who goes first. They go right after the pre-boarding. >> Okay. >> And then it's like >> disabled people, people that need wheelchairs and assistance and then Here we go. What order does the military get let on in planes? Depends on the airlines. Passengers needing extra assistance. Active duty. >> Yep. >> Why would wheelchairs be before active military? >> Cuz you got to It takes a while. It takes a while. >> Yeah, but [ __ ] them. >> That's better than What are we talking about? They're already sitting. They're relaxed. very judgmental for the people that have got disabilities today. What else do you get? What else? >> Probably quite quite frankly the probably the best one of the best benefits that you get from the military is the VA loan. So you get a loan to buy a house and it's no money down. >> So that's that's pretty awesome. Yeah. >> How does that work? >> You just, you know, you get a VA loan. So if you were going to buy a >> VA, sorry, >> Veterans Administration. So if you're going to buy a $300,000 house, instead of having to come up with whatever 10% or 20% to put down on that, you can just get a VA loan. you it's all you can borrow all that money. >> Cool. >> So yeah whenever you want it makes that first well not whenever you want. You'll have a mortgage but but uh >> the loan bit right >> yeah the loan it's just a normal mortgage but yeah that's that's a cool thing. There's a bunch of good benefits uh you know the the health benefits that you get for the rest of your life which you know people have different experiences with the VA. There's there's it's somewhat socialized medicine which as you know being from England is not always the best thing but since it is America and we try and take care of our veterans some people depending it's a lot of it is like almost like a franchise you know you go to some franchise and it's pretty good to go and you go to another franchise and it's not. So there's some of that with the VA where depending on where you are and what the VA is like in your city or in your town it can be pretty good or it can be pretty bad. So there's, you know, obviously that's a a great thing, the health benefits that you get from it. >> Um, you get, you know, money for college if you want to go to college or you can pass on to your kids if if you want to do that. So yeah, there's a bunch of good I mean there's a bunch of really good benefits from being in the military and obviously I love being in the military. So I'll say all kinds of good stuff about it. >> The UK the biggest difference that I've seen from going UK to US from the military side is how much reverence there is for veterans. Like it's almost to be honest kind of looked down on a little in the UK if you were really Yeah. I mean maybe not if you went to Sanders and did the officer thing in the track, but it's just seen as you didn't choose to have a more refined. It's very I have it feels very icky like it doesn't feel like the same kind of uh pedestalization like upholding the the sanctity of protecting the country and doing the thing. That's kind of crazy considering the proud tradition of the British military. >> There is no getting on the plane first. I've I mean maybe you get a discount in Nando for 10% or something, but >> Top Golf really >> just Top Golf Top Golf UK. Um, it just it's not got the same I mean and I was wearing some Black Rifle coffee t-shirt a couple years ago and there's that >> trib blend military green thing and I think on all of their t-shirts they've got the flag on the arm and it's just it's got a reaper on the front of it and some older guy on a plane that was sat toward the front. So I walked past. So I'm being sort of shunted along. I'm in with the like cabin class going toward the back and I can't slow down. And he goes, "Thank you for your service." And I'm like, "But no, it's not. I'm really I'm English and I didn't wasn't a I'm like, you know, like I stole Valor like passively or like he threw." He sort of threw valor at me, which I think is different. And I'm like, I can't put this down. I'm like trying to bat it away. >> Dude, if I serve food in the military and someone even hinted towards me being in combat, I'd be like, I don't talk about it. Yeah, I know this about myself. I know this about myself. I would have 100% do that. And I hate that about myself, but I would definitely do that. >> I don't like this. >> I wouldn't say anything. I would be like, >> uh, guys like these, you know what I'm saying? >> I'm just honest. I'm just being honest. If someone were to give me credit like that, I wouldn't be like, well, actually, I'd be like, you know, we all played our part. It's actually I'll talk to guys or guys will ask me guys that were in the military like before September 11th after Vietnam before September 11th they did whatever 1994 to 1999 and they feel so bad and so guilty that they didn't serve in combat and you know I always tell them hey you did what your country needed you to do at the time you know like thank you for your service and that's but but guys do feel guilty about that >> what was happening then from a military perspective yeah I mean I was in the entire '90s and we didn't do barely anything we did like shipboardings over in the Persian Gulf, people that were smuggling whatever stuff in and out of Iraq. So, we did shipboardings over there to like get control of those vessels. But that was pretty much like the real the real missions that we were doing at the time and it was just not that big of a deal. >> So, what happens when 2001 comes along? Like what what did that feel like to go from seeing this period of relative I mean as peaceful as the [ __ ] military with guns can be I suppose >> very peaceful >> and then there is a very large or two very large pistols that get >> Yeah. No it was it was uh total totally different. Yeah. Total game changer for everybody. Yeah. Overnight. >> What was waking up midepptember like? >> Um well we just knew. I mean everybody knew that we were going to war. Now, if you would have asked me at the time, would we be you're going to be at war for two decades? I wouldn't have thought that. We all thought that much like some of the other sort of operations that had taken place, whether it's Panama or Grenada, something like that, these things lasted a few days, even the first Gulf War over in 72 hours. I was so I was the the Navy had sent me to college at the time. So, I was in college and I was all distraught because I thought I was going to miss this war. You know, I want to be a commander my whole life. you know, there's nothing going on in the 90s when I'm in I know that we're all going to war and it's probably going to be over very shortly and I'm not going to be a part of it. So, I actually called the guy that was in charge of assigning us to where whatever SEAL team you're going to go to and I said, "Hey, sir, you know, please get me out of here. Send me back to a SEAL team. I'll finish college later." And he he said, "Hey, this is going to last a long time." And I didn't believe him. He goes, "This is going to last a really long time." And I was like, "No, it's not." He goes, "I finish college and I'll get you to a team." And sure enough, I mean, he got me to a team a little while later and sure enough, he got me to a team that was deploying next, luckily, thankfully, to Iraq. But even my first deployment to Iraq, I thought, "Oh, this is going to be over." You know, we'll be I'm so lucky I'm get to be here and do do my job for 6 months right now cuz it's probably going to be over. Then probably that was 2003, 2004. Now we get into 2005, you start saying, "Oh, this is going to be on for a long time." And then, you know, it lasted for two decades. When did you realize that it was going to be more than just a couple of a couple of years? >> I would say the middle of 2005. That's when the news you started really hearing the shift in the news that they were saying that this is an insurgency now. You know, as opposed to just a regime, hey, we're going to take out the regime and walk away, which could we could have done, but instead now we're going to stay there. We're going to try and turn them into, you know, a de a democratic country. It's like, >> okay, that might not be a great idea. Okay. And now you start to have the insurgency which is al-Qaeda leadership starts coming in from other countries and they're starting to run and direct and finance operations inside Iraq and the local populace again you know there's so many complexities to this but you know the the the the Shia are the majority people there and it's been run by the Sunnis for a long time so it doesn't take much to sort of spark a spark friction between those two elements because they already have bad blood between each other and of Of course, they al-Qaeda doesn't want America to have any success over there. So, they do their best to spark that conflict between the Sunnis and the Shia. It's a disaster. Yeah. >> Well, 9/11 is maybe second only to the atomic bombs is like very small period of time that just totally changed the course of the future. >> Yeah. Yeah. For sure. For sure. Um and I would say even the atomic bombs were less because that that was you know the direction that we were going in. we were going in that direction. If we would have if we didn't have atomic bombs that time, we would have landed on mainland Japan and we would have we would have been a costly victory, but we were going to win. >> So, I would say that yeah, 911 was even more of a radical >> such a left turn. >> Yeah. Such a left turn. >> Were you more Sunni or Shia? >> So, it depends on how you look at it. the the the Sunnis and the Shia, you know, it's it's one of those scenarios where we worked alongside the Sunnis, but the Shia made up the vast majority of the army of the of the Iraqi army. So, you kind of had to, you know, you kind of had to do both. You kind of had to get get along with both of them. >> Reasonable. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Both guy. >> Yeah. You kind of got to get along with both. >> It's [ __ ] crazy, dude. I mean, it's 25th anniversary is in a month. >> Yeah. >> What? for 911. I don't know. It's called an anniversary of of a tragedy. What What would you call it? >> Maybe birthday. >> Memorial. >> Maybe memorial. >> Just call it 25 by 250. >> Yeah. Okay. like Americ was the back end of uh 21 and uh I was watching these awesome documentaries Netflix did just the be like the archive footage even though you've got such a constrained amount they keep on finding or being able to remaster or make stuff a little bit better >> and uh this is as I'm sort of dreaming of coming out to America and when you're anywhere that hasn't been involved in living in Manhattan thinking about it it almost feels unreal It's like watching somebody play a video game kind of and because it's such a insane city and the density is so high and then obviously the instance just like so crazy. And now that I've spent time, lots of time in New York and I [ __ ] love Manhattan. I think it's so cool. Thinking about that thing happening like that actually happened. >> Mhm. >> In a city that I'd spent tons of time in that I've walked around Freedom Tower. I've seen, you know, ground zero, all that stuff. That must have just been for the people that were there, that must have been like one of the most across all of human history. Like, what other days have been more insane to have seen something like that happen? >> Yeah. >> So crazy. >> Yeah. Seeing a plane crash into a [ __ ] building. >> Yeah. That's crazy. >> Yeah. And I I mean, obviously, Pearl Harbor was a huge was a huge impact as well, but again, that we were leaning in that direction anyways. you know, was like there's a lot of isolationists in America obviously during that time, but you know, there was also people that were like, "Hey, we got to do something." >> And that that tipped the scales, but yeah, 911 was just, you know, we were all just >> carrying on with normal stuff. >> Was it like a >> and then boom, >> a shocking incident at Pearl Harbor and with the atomic bombs, but not a shocking trajectory. This was a total just >> like off-road left turn thing. So, yeah, it's it's wild. That being said, I I it's so fascinating to see now in retrospect what that did. It changed travel. It changed the entire sort of geopolitical landscape. It >> Yeah. I I wonder how different the world would be if that if that hadn't happened. It would be like literally a different [ __ ] universe. >> Different universe. Yeah. I mean, my life obviously everybody that I know would, you know, who knows what their lives would be like. >> Mhm. You'd have still been in college. Maybe >> still just kidding. >> Do you guys know anyone that was that during in Manhattan during >> The only story I've heard is that uh Do you know Lewis J. Gomez? Yeah. Comedian. He rollerbladed away. >> He was on rollerblades and he rollerbladed like away from New York City. >> Faster than he's ever rollerbladed. >> It's a true story. Apparently he like he wasn't like at ground zero, but he was there when it got impacted and he just >> Wheelies could have helped. >> Wheelies could have helped. He had roller blade. He apparently rollerbladed >> like super far. was like ah just rollerbladed away >> speed skating away from it. >> It's one of my I mean I like the idea. >> Talk about PT PTSD. You know it's like the big biggest day in history when you get caught on roller skates. >> It's like a bad dream. >> What a nightmare. >> Oh my. >> Where were you in like I don't know just rollerblading around >> you know >> having knee pads on and elbow pads and a helmet. >> Race guards. >> Yeah. >> But you are safe. You know, Michael Jackson was supposed to have a meeting on the top of one of the Twin Towers on 911, but he slept in. >> Can we confirm this? >> Sounds like some [ __ ] Michael, >> let me give you an even better one. Let me give you an even [ __ ] better boy that was never there. >> Seth McFaran, guy that uh started Family Guy, was supposed to get on a flight on the morning of 9/11 and his assistant misooked the time on his schedule. He arrived at the airport but missed the plane. The plane left. >> That was the plane that hit the South Tower. >> Really? Yeah. So, he bought his assistant uh Rolls-Royce as a thank you for having gotten him late. It might be the very only uh Michael Jackson was definitely in New York City. The answer is possibly, but not definitely established. His brother said in his memoir and in interviews, "Michael was scheduled to attend meetings at the World Trade Center that morning, but overslept." That looks good enough for me. >> No, we'll give it to you. >> Yeah, he was, wasn't he hooked up to like propanol or something >> that day? >> Probably. I think he was propanol. He used to a doctor used to like hook him up to like a sleeping drug. He would like IV. I'm >> pretty sure propanol's uh Oh, is that beta blockers? >> Oh, maybe that's propan propanol. And maybe propanol is what you use for general anesthetic. >> Yeah. So, he would you would do anesthesia every night to go to bed. >> [ __ ] My sister lives in Manhattan. My sister was in Manhattan on September 11th. Yeah. >> And we didn't hear for from her for a couple days. I mean, I wasn't like super worried about her cuz she lived she didn't work in the trade centers or anything, but there was a couple days where there was not good communications coming in and out of there because of all the all the traffic over the old school cell phone towers and all that. Do >> you hear about the insurance there's like the occurrence debacle with the World Trade Center? So, it's like the guy who owned them, he was taking out a 99-year lease and in like their insurance thing, it said like in the event of an occurrence, like a disastrous occurrence, you would get, you know, $3.8 billion. He was like, "Since it was two planes, it's two occurrences, I should get like >> Yeah, pretty much like seven billion." And he had to f some of the insurance companies actually had to pay double. And then another one just was like, "No, we're not doing that." >> But he he went for double. >> He's like, "It was technically two billion." So it was one word in a contract that cost billions of dollars. >> Well, there's I mean, what are the odds? >> Yeah. I mean, [ __ ] Yeah. Then that's what you get insurance for. >> Yeah. That's what I'm saying. >> [ __ ] me. I mean that all of the stuff around co Bill Aman you know Bill Aman the guy that made the shortselling bet against Herbal Life. So he's a a trader but he trades against companies as opposed to for them and short sellers are >> usually pretty disliked inside of the market because you're actively going after market value. You're betting against something. So you're trying to take them down. You're finding out [ __ ] to do with their executives or the financials aren't right or the formulation doesn't work or something as opposed to hey positive sum. I'll just bet on the market going up and to the right. And during COVID, he put a special kind of insurance on early. So he sort of put this bet that the whole market was going to go to [ __ ] You know the the big short that was Michael Murray's thing and they made the document the uh movie about it. >> Bill Aman made more money than the big short in six weeks with this one bet. >> Damn. >> Like called the new big short. The problem is the reason I think it's not been dramatized is there's not that much drama. It's just one guy who's got a good bit of vision going, >> I think this is I think this is going to [ __ ] a pressing a button. And there's no narrative, right? There's no story unfolding and all the rest of it. But yeah, I mean the [ __ ] uh financial crisis like how much would 911 have played into that crackers, dude. It's also wild with the financial crisis that so few people of all these people that are sitting around in in New York in those big buildings trying to figure out what's going to happen and there's like six or seven guys that go, "Oh, here's a good bet. You guys are all making a bad move." >> The newspapers in the buildup to the Great Depression, I think in the couple of weeks or you can do a like sentiment analysis on all of the headlines, not a single person is predicting it. It comes out of absolute nowhere. Everyone's it's going to be a boon. 1929's going to be even better. D and yeah, people just don't see it. So there is a long and illustrious history of people not being able to predict what the [ __ ] is going to go on with finances. >> Yeah. And by the way, that's just true in life. You know, I always bring that up with like war and combat. People, oh, this is going to happen, that's going to happen. Like you don't know. You don't know what's going to happen. So don't put all your money on the table on one bet because it's not a good move. Unless maybe you're Bill Aman. >> Yeah. How do you It seems like there's sort of two things that you're trying to do at once there. One is have as much control and prediction as possible in the micro, but it sounds like you're just totally hands. It's like this war can go on for as long as it does. We have no idea how the rest of the country and the geopolitics and the governments are going to interact with each other. So, how is that difficult to >> Yeah. Well, to me, it's not that difficult. The It's not that difficult to look at any situation and say, "Oh, yeah, I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen." And this is a mistake that America's made many times, which is, "Oh, we're we this is what's going to happen." You know, we know what's going to happen. You don't know what's going to happen. No one knows what's going to happen. It's like getting in a fight, right? You go, you walk up, you're walking down the street, you see some guy that's whatever, skinny and weaklooking and possibly drunk, and you're like, "Oh, I'm going to kick this guy's ass." What happens? He pulls out a knife. You know, you you you stumble. Like there's there's there's there's things that can happen that you cannot predict even when you're bigger, stronger, and if you have that attitude, lack of humility, then you're going to make mistakes. So, you know, all these things that go on in the world when people start start explaining exactly how it's going to happen, I'm like, you do not know what's going to happen. You don't understand human will. Like, how do you know what someone else is willing to go through? You have no idea. Just like you can't look at a guy that's going through sales training and say, "Oh, that guy's going to make it. That guy's not." No, you have no idea. So you look at a a whole country and you're going to say, "Oh, this is how they're going to behave." You have no idea how they're going to behave and you don't really understand their culture. And even if you did understand their culture from your college that you went to in New York, you don't understand what it's like on the ground. So we we make a lot of moves that we shouldn't be making just because we think we can predict things that we can't predict. >> Yeah. I saw a lot of that in the Iran stuff for you have professors like I've been studying unilateral by proxy warfare for 30 years. My analysis and you're like, "Dude, shut up. Shut up. You have no idea. >> You do not talk about >> it is it's got to be hard to be someone who's supposed to make predictions because you there's so many ways that it can go wrong in literally only one way that it can go right. >> Yeah. >> Like of all of the different ways that the future could unfold. I'm pinning my colors to the mast of this one. >> Yeah. >> And every single other bet that could happen for reasons that I do or don't know about, I'm just [ __ ] >> Dude, I I read a book called uh The Next Hundred Years. I don't know if I talked about this before by George Freriedman and he he wrote it I think like I would say the early 2000s maybe like 200 you know 10 or whatever but he I remember read I only read half but he was he predicted our um uh Russia Ukraine conflict back then almost to like the tea it was >> when was I don't know I have to look it up but it was definitely written maybe like 10 years before the Russia Ukraine thing happened. Did you Did he say why he thought he was gonna >> He was just saying they have to like it's an eventual like Russia needs that area to secure because like their borders are so weak because like from Ukraine it's just you're right there to the major cities like they're going to have to do that eventually. >> How much is that the Russia Ukraine conflict? I'm aware you're not an active participant in the way that you used to be. But is that changed the sort of landscape of how people think about warfare tactically? >> Totally. I mean 100%. Got the drones is a totally new world. M >> that's a totally new world and it's very interesting just how fast they make changes and adjust to the technology and the tactics as well has been incredible to see. So it's full like capitalism warfare meaning that the faster you can adapt and do things a different way in a new way that's successful and put more resources behind that that's what they're doing and they're doing it very rapidly. That's what's keeping the the Ukrainians in the game is that they're just they're like I read an article about there was an element there's there's these drone elements like drone units of of Ukrainians and they basically say hey here's how we're keeping score go do as much damage as you can. Whoever does the most damage out of these I don't know what the numbers but four or five let's say four or five platoon of drone operators. Okay. whoever gets the most action or destroys the most uh Russian, we we're going to give you more money. And that's exactly what they did. They gified it. And so they're going, "Okay, well, what can we do? How can we make this work? How can we?" And they're just figuring out a way to win. And they're doing it very rapidly. This is what this is what America's not good at, right? This is why Andreil, companies like Andreal who are just going to make stuff and do it very rapidly, are going to end up being much more valuable than the than the old traditional. Unless Rathon and and those other big ones make adjustments, they're not going to be able to keep up with a company like Andre because capitalism on the battlefield is a really important thing. The way things are moving so quickly, >> capitalism warfare is so [ __ ] cool. >> Yep. Does sound [ __ ] sick. >> What uh what are the changes? You say it's mostly drones. That's the big >> Oh, yeah. It's the drones. The drones are totally totally different. Yeah. I mean, you guys all watch the videos. I'm sure you guys, you know, stay up at night watching videos of these things going on. >> But like one of the most interesting things, if you're tracking this, you know, the the the original drones were all controlled by radio, right? Radio frequencies. And those things were getting blocked and jammed. And so all these new drones are controlled by by wire by by you know filament um fiber optics >> and they can go they have fiber optic cables that are 60 km long. >> What? And so you got this, it looks like a little tube on the and and there's a whole thing in there wrapped with a filament. And they fly these things 60 km >> and the whole battlefield over there is now draped with this this filament. This this fiber optic filament. It's like like spiderw webs. >> But you know, this is what they're doing. This is how >> stuff you're not allowed to do like biological warfare or like weaving the shock things we're talking about. I see things where people were like, "Dude, we were in a crowd and then they just hit us with this thing that you're not supposed to do." >> Was it Venezuela? But what about the Venezuela riot and the [ __ ] energy weapon? Jared, this is crazy. >> What is it called? Like is there some sort of like um term for it where they can like make noise like shoot noise for it? >> Weapon some kind. >> But like what about all that [ __ ] Like that mean we got to be ahead of the curve on that. >> Yeah. And the thing is there'll be a counter for that stuff just like they're, you know, they're going to figure out a way to counter these filament drones like they their technology will >> will find a way to defend itself and they'll make another adjustment to that and they'll just keep doing that. So be much more >> the the the pace of technological advancement is what we'll what we'll see now in the in the wars from here on out. You know, in Iraq, when I was in Iraq, like the insurgents would figure out how to put a bomb in the road, and then we'd figure out how to build armor and then they'd figure out how to build build a bigger bomb. And then when we started jamming, you know, they were detonating them with with walkie-talkies and so we figured out how to jam them and then they figured out how to put like pressure plates in the road. So, it's just a technological race. But those those cycles would take months, you know, four months, three months, 6 months. But these things are just happening much more rapidly. >> Yeah, the bioweapon [ __ ] scares me, man. That's like the I watched the interview with uh RFK Jr. on CNN. Did you see that? Him and I forget the lady's name. >> They were going at it. It was actually pretty cool to watch. But the at one point, I could be wrong, but I could have sworn she was like, "Well, what are you going to do there?" Experts say there will be another pandemic in 10 years. And she almost said it like, "It's happening. What do you" And I was just like, "Well, how the [ __ ] do you know? Why are you saying it was almost like it sounded like she was very certain being like, "Oh, it's gonna happen." >> She thinks she's the Simpsons calling her shot. This is kind of like first of all why it's weird to be like oh there definitely will be another pandemic and stuff used to play with bugs and like like literally like he would do break rules of war like you're not allowed to like put diseases in bugs and then release bugs into a field and go it'll get them like there's there's rules or there's supposed to be rules and that's a long time ago so I can't I can't uh rule out that there must not be people trying to figure this stuff out you know >> I would say definitely yeah >> Jacobson I want the inside scoop. >> Come on. >> Annie Jacobson came on the show and she was talking about biological war. The Russians had developed this weapon that had, you know, you need to think about the incubation period, the mortality, the transmissibility, all of this stuff. And they put one of the side effects of this disease, this infectious disease was euphoria. So people would feel great for about 24 hours and go out dancing, go out partying, want to go and be social, go for dinner, spend time with friends. They'd engineered euphoria into the pathogen >> so you go spread super spreader. Yeah. It would encourage you because if you feel sick then you're in bed and maybe you don't go and they'd realize oh if we make people feel great they'll spread this even faster. That was that made still now sort of hairs on my arm like it makes me feel so Have we got the the [ __ ] energy weapon Jared? Is this thing >> it also wouldn't even work on me. If I got that I'd be like I'm staying in I'm >> watch love on his face. Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. I feel too good to go out. >> Right there. >> Whoa. >> Calls are mounting in Serbia for an independent investigation into whether a sonic weapon was used by security forces on people protesting government corruption. >> Although doesn't look like it. A progressive Serbian opposition party alleged that a sonic weapon class not included on the government's list of legal weapons totally silent. This was the video you see here >> just from nothing >> like out of nowhere. >> But you think they would go like or like they would make they didn't. They kind of just like sensed a panic that something's coming. And you're right, that panic like in World War I, they had to get control over the guys that would run messages back and forth because if a guy was running from the front line back to tell his commander what was going on and like I go running away and you see me and you're like, "Oh, Jo's running." You start running, you all just start running away. So, there might have been a little bit of that in that scenario. >> Also, like usually if it's really jolting you like that, like you lose um you know, bodily fluid, all the stuff like you would see someone having a reaction to it is what I'm saying. You piss yourself and be like, "What the hell?" >> I thought they used that. Did So Venezuela was the country >> disarming, you know? >> Yeah. Something happened. I heard I heard that about Venezuela that they one day they're sitting there and the they just kind of came right in or they cut their power. What do they cut their power or something >> for the extraction of speaking to the right guy here? Things that you can't say. >> How much do you get without saying it? How much do you still get to find out about cool [ __ ] that goes on? Like do you still get to hear some cool [ __ ] >> I I hear super. >> And how do you hear it? They can't text it to you. >> Yeah, >> they can't text it to you. How do you hear it? >> So cool knowing about cool. >> Got to be in the right WhatsApp chat. You're in the right WhatsApp chat. >> That's what I'm saying. It's like where are they sharing this secret information, dude? Just got to [ __ ] go. >> Hey, jump on the CB radio. No one's in here. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Did that really happen? We do testosterone for the soldiers or I saw that in the headline. >> Of course. >> Can we give soldiers testosterone? >> Well, yeah. I think they that's what they're saying is they're opening it up and you know there is there is a guys have had problems with this and it's the same you know the the TBI the traumatic brain injuries one of the things it impacts is like your ability to I I guess is it your pineal gland that makes testosterone >> cacao >> cacao we get some cacao and some testosterone so guys guys that have issues with that they you know and plus they're stressed out all the time they don't get much sleep and all this stuff and it impacts their testosterone so they're saying they're gonna check them more and give them more testosterone. >> How many guys that are in special forces do you think are doing it without any they're not on any pain meds, not on any sleep meds, on any anti-anxiety stuff. Is it rare that someone's not supported in one form or another said DJ Shipley there and he might be an extreme case, but he was explaining he's on 50 tablets a day. He's on up is to wake him up and down is to get him down and painkillers to stop his pain and >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I mean, I think I think for someone like DJ who gets on that cycle of you get hurt, right? You don't want to stop working, so you got to take something to make the pain go away. So, then you start taking something to make the pain go away and the the pain gets worse because you're not train you're not uh giving any rest. And so, now you're doing more stuff to make the pain go away. Well, eventually you go, I need something to get me back to focus because my pain's going away and so is my, you know, motor skills. So, now you're going on something else. So, I think that's the cycle that guys can get caught on. Um, but I, you know, I there's a lot of people that don't do anything. You know what I mean? I mean, I never even took ambient. Like, there was a lot of guys that would take ambient to sleep. I never took I never took anything. I never took anything >> dog your entire military career. >> Yeah. And but I don't think I'm not I I don't think that's as rare as you might think it is. But I will say when guys get hurt, this is DJ's got the exact story like a guy gets hurt. No one wants to come out of the game, right? No one wants to come out of the game. So you do whatever you got to do to stay in the game and that means you're the cycle that I just talked about. So that definitely happens because you're you're in an injury-prone job. I mean you get just the day-to-day life fast roping out of helicopters, landing on this deck of a ship that's going up and down, you know, humping through the desert carrying buddy carrying people. Like it's a day-to-day grind on your body that is, you know, the bad back, bad shoulders, bad knees, the whole nine yards. And that's happening all the time. So guys have to do what they want to do or what they have to do to stay in the game. >> You imagine if comedy was a sober pursuit if no one was allowed to use any enhancements. >> I know. I think about that a lot actually is like how how often we call something cheating. It's like who cares. >> Yeah. Like if you found out that like some of the most brilliant minds of the past were using some sort of enhancement or silicide, you wouldn't give a [ __ ] You're like he wrote a great song. Yeah. The guy was whatever. Same with that. Like people go uh cuz I know a lot of like um military guys but then also policemen and uh fire department who they do steroids or they'll do like testosterone and I go good. I want you to be a strong whatever you think is going to work bro. You're not hitting home runs for the Giants you know like you like we need you the best you can be dude. So yeah it's you use it. >> But also we should all use it. If you're going to make better comedy because you smoke pot or you do mushrooms or whatever then whatever it takes. I think about that with business. You business is an untested federation. No one in the fsy 100 500 is going actually I need to do a blood test on you because it seems like that CEO wasn't using medapanil and aderall and testosterone and ambient to make sure so people care about sports because it's supposed to be a really fair organization but in the world of business which people care about maybe even more than they care about sports >> totally untested. There's this famous clip of Sam Alman from it's quite a while ago and somebody's asking him when he was on his grind at Y Combinator, how how many hours per day can you be productive? He says, "Well, if you're taking Armadafanil, you know, up to kind of 18 or 20, I suppose, and you think, oh, yeah, actually, if you're in some fast-paced tech organization, there is no limit. You just do whatever you do, and no one's going to come in and go, "This is bad for your health or whatever. You're maximizing shareholder value. Who gives a fuck?" >> Right? And comedy's kind of comedy's kind of the same. If >> this makes you perform better, no comic can go, "Hey man, your set was good last night, but I'd love to see you do it without weed." >> Right. >> Yeah. No. >> Well, that's why I get so mad about the steroid conversation of baseball cuz I'm like, "Let him do it." I would do whatever it took to be the best at comedy. Like, so if there was some way to cheat, take a little injection and I now I'm the funniest guy that affects my money, that affects my reputation, all I'd do it. So, I get it when baseball players are going, "Hey, man. I I want to play baseball or I want to go fight for my country. Like you you take what you're going to do what you do to stay in the game. >> It's the thing around military operators if there's push back against them being given something that makes them more effective. It's we are not supposed to be playing within the rules. There are some rules right Geneva Convention. Outside of those and a couple of other things that your government puts on top of you it's like everything should be on the table. Surely. Surely. If there's one thing that we can all agree, national security and not dying and killing the other guy, like that should be pretty uncontroversial. >> Yeah. And it's easy to get caught up in like the shortterm cuz look, if I'm not the best I possibly can be right now, then I'm not going to live, right? So, I'm just going to do whatever I can right now. But I think the long-term negative health impacts that they have, it's like you don't want to take these guys cool and just destroy them from a health perspective. So when they're 35, they're just like train wrecks. >> Trading in their performance today, but like killing them tomorrow. >> And there is some to some element to the fact that hey, if I'm like on steroids and now I'm on deployment and I go into the field for 24 days, do do I have no like natural testosterone? Am I just a disaster? Yeah, I do. In in my pack, I've got a small cool bag with a couple of ice packs so I can keep my testosterone. Make sure that >> Well, that legless guy brought a cake to Mount Everest. Sure thing. >> He can pack some syringes and get a little Come on. What are we talking about? >> He had candles. >> True. >> 34. Get out of here. >> But also, it depends, too. Like, is it saying they can have it if they want or you're getting like 20-year-olds to be like, "Bro, let's >> No, I think they're just testing them and >> I think it should be enforced." >> Yeah. Like, >> I think you have to have 1500 NOG per deciliter of testosterone. And if you don't, >> you're not doing your best. Yeah, we need you at your best. I know that you need to be working hard >> or just at that point it's like go mech suits. >> Go what? >> Mech suits. We have like the robotic >> Oh, I like those on movies. >> That's the alternative. >> Yeah, why not? >> What do you think about um psychedelic therapy for PTSD and stuff? DJ's on here talking about Ibeane and all of this stuff. >> I haven't done it. Um, I I know a lot of guys that have done it and it's been very helpful to them and I know a smaller number of guys that have done it and it hasn't been helpful. So, >> like adverse or just not helpful? >> There's been some that have been adverse, but that's a pretty small number compared to the amount and and and I I believe that the people that have had adverse impact, they didn't do it correctly, the integration. >> They didn't do the what? Yeah. They didn't do the pre-work and the all that other stuff that you're supposed to do. they just kind of like got after it, you know what I mean? So, yeah, I I think that's that can be problematic. What is doing? >> So, but yeah, it seems like and they're doing legislation and everything now to try and make it >> legal and acceptable and paid for by the VA and all that stuff. So, hopefully it's it's helpful. I mean, like I said, I've known some guys that have I've known a bunch of guys that have done it. It's been very helpful. So, if it helps guys out, yeah, by all means. How many people do you think are veterans would be fixed by getting one more tour? I wonder whether it's them missing being a part of it, feeling like they've got something unrequited or whether it's like a compounding effect over time. You've said that in and around Rammani was like one of the best times of your life. I wonder whether you ever wished that [ __ ] like if I could just go back for like another couple of weeks. >> 100%. Yeah. I mean, everybody would. Uh well basically almost everybody that I know if you told them if I sent out out a text message to my guys and was like hey get your gear together I would get 97% of the guys like Roger inbound like >> is that the coolest thing that we like evidently selected the right people for the job >> you know like a school teacher that's 20 years retired going hey do you want to come and teach a class no way I want to go back in there meanwhile someone that's not been in combat bad for a little while. I was like, I just give me the call. >> We were uh we got to Romani and I sent I went out with some of my guys to we were we were in western Romani and there was real problems in eastern Romani and we took an element out to eastern Romani for like a week and it was super gnarly. The living conditions were absolutely terrible. We're living in a bombed out building, dirt floors, like uh bugs all over the place, very very hot, totally uncomfortable. And then there was real heavy fighting out there and you know a lot of casualties not with my guys on that particular time but in this week there's a lot of casualties army Iraqi army like it's very tough region in Ramani. We get done doing some missions out there. We come back and I'm going to send out some guys out there permanently and I'm talking to the platoon commander guy named Seth Stone. I said hey you know you're going to take some guys out there. and he goes, "Well, you know, I I I don't want to pick someone cuz I don't want to take guys out there if they don't want to go." And I said, "Okay, fair enough." So, I walked into our big platoon space and I wrote on the board, you know, "Hey, going to Camp Corodor." And I brought the guys and I'm like, "Hey, I'm going to send six or seven guys out there permanently. You guys know the deal that we're out there. If you weren't out there, then here's the deal. It's terrible living conditions. the chances of getting wounded or killed is decently high. There's going to be a lot of operations and I don't know when you're coming back. If you guys want if you want to go on that, put your name on the board. And I walked out and I came back 20 minutes later and every single guy's name was on >> Nice. >> Yeah. >> Dang. >> I love that. >> So, these are Americans, you know what I mean? >> That's so sick. >> I love that. >> Isn't it the sickest thing? >> [ __ ] awesome. >> So cool. Meanwhile, we talk on microphones for a living. What if there was one guy who didn't stage? >> You had one guy who just didn't put his name up there. Well, I mean, everyone else was, so I figured I didn't I figured I would have, but everyone some little [ __ ] >> Nope. Not not that crew right there. >> John Smith. >> One guy wrote someone else's name. Matt. >> Yeah, that is really nice when you hear that. You're like, damn, that's awesome. >> Just chose the right guys for the job. >> Yeah. You know, it's uh it's [ __ ] wild. Boys, I appreciate you all. You're all awesome. >> Thanks for having anything coming up, any stuff to push, any things? >> Just shows mattusker.com. Um bunch of standup jeffd.com. Got a little special coming out soon, but other than that, >> when's the movie? >> Uh movie? November 25th. Yep. November 25th. Global release. Yeah. Uh I wrote a bunch of kids books. Kids books have been turned into a movie. Uh, it's made by Sky Dance and it's coming out on Apple. It's starring Chris Pratt. >> Nice. >> Wait, so can you explain it? What do you mean? The kids books are a movie. >> The kids books. So, I wrote a bunch of kids books and they're a series of kids books and they turned basically the first two books kind of combined together to make the first movie. Way of the Warrior Kid. Yeah. It comes out November 25th. >> The trailer. >> Have you seen the trailer? You should secret for thing. It looks so [ __ ] cool. >> It's so good. >> It's for families, for adults, for >> everybody. They call it a four quadrant movie, which means everybody >> in the family from the kids to the grandparents will all and it I've seen it, you know, it's it's so good. I'm so so super stoked on it. >> November 25th. >> Thanks for Bye, my beauties. Dude, >> congratulations. You made it to the end of a podcast episode without dying. Now, here's another one. Go on, watch it.