Video summary
Two years ago, the speaker experienced a profound period of anger directed at God, other people, and himself, feeling consumed by emotions he had never allowed himself to feel growing up. At that time, his marriage was simultaneously wonderful and incredibly challenging, revealing the reality that life can hold both amazing seasons and deep difficulties at once. He found himself facing unmet expectations that struck at his core insecurities as a man, leading him to fluctuate between despair and rage. Although he continued making videos outwardly, inwardly he felt far from God because he did not know how to process or utilize his anger, believing it was futile since nothing would change.
The speaker reflects on the biblical figure of Job, who also expressed intense anger toward God despite having no right to do so according to traditional theology. He suggests that while anger often points to a perceived injustice or something broken in the world, it can sometimes mask a deeper sadness and grief that we refuse to experience. Anger often feels like a way to regain control over situations that are already done, but holding onto bitterness creates a heavy burden that physically and spiritually weighs people down. The speaker argues that beneath the surface of anger lies a need to grieve the brokenness of our world and our personal circumstances, rather than simply suppressing these feelings or directing them solely at God.
He critiques the tendency to maintain "neat and tidy" relationships where we avoid conflict and keep our true feelings hidden to preserve peace, noting that this same mentality often prevents us from being authentic with God. When we hide our pain and doubts from Him, we reduce our relationship to a superficial acquaintance rather than an intimate connection, effectively allowing Satan to use these emotions to create distance between us and our Father. Jesus invites those who are heavy-laden to find rest by taking His yoke upon them, offering relief from the burden of anger and bitterness that has plagued people throughout their lives.
Ultimately, the message is a call to vulnerability, urging viewers to stop pretending everything is fine when they are internally struggling with turmoil and injustice. Instead of rejecting God because He seems distant during times of pain, the speaker encourages inviting Him directly into those feelings of anger and despair, asking Him to meet us in our brokenness. By pouring out our hearts honestly rather than keeping them neat and tidy, we break through the devil's strategies and allow for an authentic relationship where God can teach us what He is trying to show us through our suffering. The video concludes with a prayer that this message meets people exactly where they are, serving as the beginning of opening their relationship to God even amidst tremendous pain.
Read the full video transcript
Two years ago, I was angry, like really
angry. I was angry at God. I was angry
at other people. I was angry at myself.
I felt totally consumed by these
feelings that I'd really never given
myself space to feel before. Like
growing up, anger just wasn't really a
feeling that I would allow myself to
experience. It seemed like an
inconvenience. It seemed like, "Okay,
I'm going to feel sad, but I'm not
necessarily going to feel angry about
something." It just didn't come
naturally to me. And that's what caught
me off guard so much two years ago, 1
year into essentially my marriage with
Kezia, and we were having an amazing
time. It was so fun. It was so
wonderful, like even better than we
could have thought. And yet at the same
time, it was really hard and really
difficult and challenging in ways that
we had never expected. And I think
people need to give space for those two
things to be true, that like,
you know, seasons of your marriage or
life even can be really amazing and fun
and just beautiful, and they can also be
really, really challenging. And so,
maybe one day I'll go into the very
specifics of of what that looked like,
but for now, you know, essentially I was
just upset. I had these certain
expectations of how I thought my life
was going to go, and I was coming face
to the face with the reality that
it was looking very different different
than I expected it to, and it was
hitting deeply on my insecurities as a
man, on like who I was, and I was taking
it very personally. And I was angry. I
was angry at God. I was really upset at
him and to the degree where
I felt like I was in total despair. I
would fluctuate between just being
totally depressed and just feeling
hopeless, like nothing would ever get
better, nothing would change, and then
being like really just enraged at God.
And
and it's hard for me to describe because
even at that point I was making videos
like still, and and you know, you guys
have seen some of those videos. And yet,
if you were to see the inner workings of
my brain and heart at that point,
I did feel far from God. And and it was
because I didn't know what to do with
this anger. Like, okay, I'm angry at
God, and yet nothing's going to change.
It's not going to help anything. And so,
I'm here just being angry, and yet like,
I believe that God is good, and yet I'm
so upset that things have happened the
way they have, and these expectations
that I have have have gone unmet, and it
feels really unfair. Like, it feels
really unfair. I remember resonating
with Job, and Job he he had insane stuff
happen to him. Like, my life is nowhere
near
you know, like Job's, but this guy had
everything taken from him. Like, his
family, his household, his wealth, his,
you know, everything that you could
imagine. And this is what he he said to
God, essentially. And and he had a lot
of anger at God, too. I cry out to you
for help, and you do not answer me. I
stand, and you only look at me. You've
turned cruel to me. With the might of
your hand, you persecute me. If anybody
has a right to be angry at God, it is
Job. And yet, this is how God responds
to Job. Shall a faultfinder contend with
the almighty? He who argues with God,
let him answer it. The truth is of the
matter, we know that we don't have a
right to be angry with God. Like, we get
that. Okay, God is the almighty. We get
that. And yet, why am I so angry? Anger
indicates that there's some sort of
injustice. Something is wrong,
essentially. And sometimes our anger can
be justified, and sometimes it's not
justified. But, oftentimes it does
illustrate that there's something
missing here. There's something broken
about our world that we're upset about.
Like, yeah, life isn't perfect. Yeah,
our expectations do go unmet. And yeah,
genuinely bad things happen, and you are
justified in feeling angry about those
things. Like, the Bible talks about
righteous anger. But, here's the way I
want to talk to you, like, personally. I
don't know what you're angry about right
now. Maybe something truly tragic has
happened in your life, and you're still
angry at God for not intervening or not
doing what you wanted him to do, and
you're just upset.
One of the things that I learned is that
even though anger is definitely there
and it and it can be present, sometimes
what's underneath that is a deep sadness
that we've not allowed ourselves to
truly experience, like, a deep grieving
and sorrow over
the brokenness of our world, the
brokenness of the situation. And it
feels like, sometimes, anger
is the emotion that comes out because it
feels like it gives us some sort of
control. At least, that's what I've
experienced. It's like, I'm going to
feel angry at this because I want it to
change. I want to fix this. I want it to
be better.
And yet, it nothing's going to change.
And what's done is done.
And so, you're forced to either
continually continue to be angry and
bitter at God. And plenty of people are.
Plenty of people are.
Or, you can choose, and maybe this is
the case for you, to recognize
Yeah, there's anger and there's sadness
and frustration all that stuff in there,
but there's a deep, like, grieving in my
heart that I need to give a voice to,
that I need to just, like, sit in and
experience. And in the midst of that,
begin to give those feelings to God.
Like, the Bible speaks of this again and
again. My God, my God, why have you
forsaken me? Why are you so far from
saving me from the words of my groaning?
Oh, my God, I cry day, but you do not
answer, and by night, and I find no
rest. These are brutally honest prayers,
and I think we need to get comfortable
with praying them, but recognizing that
just because we're saying this, like
just because we're saying God, you are
far from me, doesn't mean he is. But, in
fact, the act of like vocalizing these
doubts in our heart and these feelings
in our heart, we're giving air to
release them and give them to God. God,
this is how I genuinely feel right now.
Can you meet me in the midst of this? I
think some of us can tend towards really
neat and tidy relationships just in
general with our friends. We don't like
conflict. We just like being at peace
with everyone. But, in that, we're not
really real. We're not really vocalizing
what's going on in our heart and our
mind and things that we're sad about and
the disappointments that we have with
them or trying to, you know, clarify
where we are in this relationship. We
don't like to make it messy. And so, we
keep it nice and tidy and we keep
everything to ourselves. And
unfortunately, sometimes we take that
mentality to God. But, what that means
is is that we don't really have any
relationship with God at all. No, we
were acquaintances with him. Maybe we're
co-workers with him. We correspond when
we need to relay necessary information,
but there's no authenticity or
vulnerability there. This is what Jesus
said, "Come to me, all who labor and are
heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and
you will find rest for your souls. For
my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Anger, bitterness, frustration is a lot
to bear. It's a heavy load. And you can
see older people that have held onto
that anger and bitterness over their
whole life, and you can see it in them
physically. Everything is sagging.
Everything is drooping. It is just heavy
on them. It is burdensome, and you can
see that in their spirit as well. It
weighs them down. I get it. Your anger
is real and it represents something
real, something terrible and maybe that
anger that you have is very justified
because something truly bad has
happened.
But where is that anger going? Like is
it just going at God and you're just not
doing anything with it or are you able
to vocalize it? To give it to God, to
invite him into it, to ask him to teach
you what he's trying to teach you
through it. Now maybe you're still
fighting this. You're watching this
video and you're like, "Isaac, I get
what you're saying but I'm just not
ready to give this to God yet. Like I
don't want to invite Jesus in because
he's the one I'm upset at." I need you
to recognize that Satan wants to use
these emotions to pull you away from
God. He uses them as tools to create
distance between you and your father.
And don't misunderstand me here. I'm not
saying just get over it, but I'm saying
that the path to break through the
devil's working in this is to be
vulnerable, to be open, to pour out your
heart to Christ because that's where an
authentic, meaningful relationship
actually exists. Reject the neat and
tidy relationship with God where
internally you're experiencing this
turmoil but externally, "Oh,
everything's great. Oh, I'm great with
God." But over time you're going further
and further away from your father
because
you can't be honest with him. You can't
be real with him and you're not inviting
him into the pain. I pray this video
meets you where you are, that it is the
beginning of opening your relationship
to God even amidst tremendous pain and
tremendous anger and potentially
tremendous injustice. Invite him in,
friend. You won't regret it. Thanks for
watching. Until next time. God bless.