Inside the Conservative Civil War - Brett Cooper (4K)

What, are your thoughts on the conservative civil war that seems to be happening? Starting off strong. Oh gosh. Um you know, I think that it is obviously there are a lot of issues that people are debating. I think that have caused this schism that we're seeing, but I think that there are a lot of people that are arguing and fighting in good faith. I think that there are a lot of people online who think that these are just like bad actors on both sides who are going after each other. I look at it as there are these groups of people they're extremely passionate. They have an idea of, you know, the direction our country and this, you know, movement and party should go and they're worried about, you know, one side taking too much power of the radicals taking control of, you know, of us getting too involved in board affairs, whatever it might be. And so I look at it as something that is not that the civil war is a positive, but that there are good people fighting it. >> Mhm. Uh so, I think that makes it a little more nuanced. >> That's a very diplomatic way to start. Yeah, well done. Disclaimer done. >> Yep, but I also think that I think my big issue with it is when it comes down to the issue of free speech and hypocrisy. I'm all right, that's what I've been talking about a lot is that we spent so many years railing against the purity tests and we're not going to dig up people's social media and cancel them. We're not going to take things out of context. You don't do that. We're better than that. But we celebrate when somebody, you know, refuses to bend a knee to the mob. And then the same thing is happening on the right and they're demanding that somebody be, you know, is canceled and deplatformed because that person platformed somebody that you don't like. Or now, you know, what I talked about on the show today just really get into it is Tucker Carlson's son works for J.D. Vance. How does he know that? And they're now asking his son to disavow his father. >> [laughter] >> You must make a statement about his father. I'm like, well, well, like how have we gotten to this? And I said this on the show, but it reminds me so much of Do you remember when Sydney Sweeney went viral for her mom having a big 60th grade again birthday party? No. Okay, it was like 2022, I think. These photos made their way around Reddit and X and all of the things that people saw her at, you know, a birthday party celebrating her mom and there were like MAGA looking hats in the background and everybody lost their [ __ ] And it turns out it was make 60 grade again and she took a photo with one some relative who was wearing a thin blue line t-shirt that just exploded it even more and she had to make this statement. >> Uh. And she basically said, guys, like get over it. She was like, I'm like, I'm not going to disavow my family. I don't really care. Um it was a celebration for her mom and that's all that matters. And the right was like, yes, this is so amazing. She's an inspiration. This is how you handle these types of things, you know, her values don't necessarily need to represent her family. This is great, you know, she loves her family. And I feel we are like demanding Tucker Carlson's son like condemn his father. The Carlson silence is deafening. Yeah. So, anyway, so I just think it's all a bit ridiculous. I would rather people air out their ideas and debate them. Uh. They sunlight is the best disinfectant. If you hate somebody's ideas, like let them speak and see what people think about them. I think that there is a a bit of a Streisand effect going on as well. The more we say, don't like don't listen to this, don't listen to that person. >> Yep. So, if my generation has a reason to go like Exactly. I'm going to go on Rumble and I'm going to see what's happening. Yeah. Yeah, so I that's those are my thoughts on it. What I'm interested in is why the unity that we saw for probably the last 4 years has started to splinter apart and my notion, my bro science theory is when you're outside of the tent pissing in, it's very easy to unify because you're trying to treat achieve a common goal. Like we must get into power. Like look at these people, right? Groups have bound together more over the mutual distaste of an out group as opposed to the mutual love of the in group. But as soon as you're inside of the tent pissing out, you're the guys that are in power, you start to look around and go, well, maybe he's actually we don't maybe we don't maybe he can go out of the tent now. And I think if you look at the left cuz this was the argument that the right always had against the left. The progressives and the liberals and the far left and the populists and the, you know, look at how it's so fractured, they're so ununified, they can't even And now you look at the left and you think, well, they seem like they're pulling in rowing in sort of a relatively similar direction uh and it's the right that's doing that. And the only thing that I can see is who's in power they're the ones that seem to sort of fight between themselves. >> That's your part of human nature is that when you get in power, I think now that we have this, you know, control, we feel like we won. I think people got a little bit complacent, understandably so because it felt so great last November. Like I was riding an absolute high. The campaign was so much fun. I loved covering it. I felt like we were on top of the world. We had so many independents come over. It really felt like there there was this unity across party lines. Come January, maybe February, it was like everything imploded. And I think you're right, people started looking around going, you know, we're nitpicking this and this and this, which is I think a good thing in some ways. I think that you know, it's important to criticize the admin. It's, you know, important to not just roll over and go, oh, just because we're in power, just because I agree with this person on some things, I'm going to roll over, I'm not going to question things, I'm not going to push back. Obviously, you need to push back. I think that that's something that the left has not done very well. Um even looking at Biden and Kamala, obviously, there were huge errors that occurred during their presidency, things that uh or their administration, things that were overlooked and lied about. And so many people on the left were just like, blah blah blah. Like, no, there's no issues. No, Biden doesn't have dementia. No, there's no issues with any of this. It's totally fine. He's amazing. He's the best president ever. Um and so I do think that it is it's a good thing that the right asks questions and probes and criticizes, but I think that it it has imploded a little bit where now we've gotten a little bit loose with that and I think it's giving the left a lot of power, unfortunately. I mean, we just saw, you know, in New York City um Donny won. I think that's pretty in indicative of where things could go in in the midterms and in 2028. Uh and so I think Republicans have a lot of work to do. Is the idea of MAGA dead now in that way? No, I don't think so. I think that because MAGA isn't Trump. I think people can argue that it is obviously he created it, he coined the term, but the ideas and the values behind Make America Great Again, I think those will withstand and I think that still drives a lot of people in the conservative movement. Um it will be interesting to see how everything unfolds when Trump is not in office, when he's kind of, you know, out of the picture, when he officially retires, if he ever does retire. Not saying he's going to, you know, run again, obviously, but if he you know, kind of steps back from public life and just goes and golfs with his grandkids, what the party will look like and what MAGA will look like. Um but I think it is an idea and something that drives, I don't think that that's dead. That's an interesting point. I've never considered what he's going to do after his presidency because that is a man who really does not like not being in the limelight. >> No, exactly. >> Can you be a vice president after you've been a president or do you have to be completely out of the administration after you've >> have no idea. He might be able to be. Cuz if he just That'd be really funny. >> Swap top and bottom with with Vance. >> Vance. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. >> no, I'm never leaving. >> Yeah, exactly. 16 years of me either as president or vice president. >> Or you can just start another reality show. That would be my preference. Um who wants to be a president? >> Exactly. Um Yeah, it's I I I wonder whether that's going to cause power vacuum and more fracturing or whether everybody's going to have to rally behind one person. Yeah. Um In order to win, we need to rally behind one person, but I do think that it will, as we're seeing right now, I think that there will be a lot of fracturing to see what the direction of the party goes. I think that's really what we're seeing at the moment is people are fighting for what is the new conservatism without Trump. And it feels a little bit preemptive in a way because it's like, okay, well, we still have several years of him and hopefully we have, you know, eight years of Vance. I love J.D. I think he's phenomenal. Um and I'm excited for him to run. But I do think people are trying to figure out, you know, out with the old and with the new. Uh. That they're trying to decipher, especially with Gen Z cuz Gen Z is a very different beast. What would you say are the factions that are splintering off? How do you come to think about the terrain of like the right at the moment? I think we have what I would call like the establishment neocons. Um you know, the politicians that have been office for God knows how long. Um and then I think we have the you know, the younger, I would say the cooler right that is, you know, pro-Israel. So, it's not like they are these neocons that have been in office, but they are pro-Israel. And then I think you have I mean, there's four. And then you have people that, you know, they say are more far right. Um maybe you could put them in the camp of Fuentes, maybe he's in a camp of his own. Um who are anti-Israel. That's really caused That's really been the biggest >> Who's the pro-Israel one? Who's in that group? Um I see that as like the Babylon Bee guys, Ben Shapiro. Um and then I think you have people that are a bit more in the middle like the Megan Kellys and where I think Charlie Kirk was, who are actively trying to keep everybody together and who don't really fall in either any of these camps and want to continue pushing the party forward and are working on unifying and bringing people together. Um and who have critiques with both of these groups. Um but often the people that sit in the middle, as we're seeing with Megan Kelly, like she isn't good enough for either group. She gets criticized by people who are further right, the gripers, Nick Fuentes, whatever it might be. But she also, you know, is not pro-Israel enough for uh the people in that faction. And so she's constantly Yes. And so she's constantly ping-ponging ping-ponging back and forth. I think that she's doing a very good job of handling it right now and she's really trying to maintain her personal close relationships, which I think is important above all else. She's obviously been in this world for a long time and she has friends on all different sides of you know these issues and in the admin and out of the admin, she's in a tough spot. But it's been interesting to watch her navigate. And I'm learning a lot from that because I do think that she's handling it gracefully. Well, handling it badly is not too hard to do and we've seen enough people that have face planted or put both of their feet in their mouths in an attempt to try and like I don't know. I I We've definitely seen a lot of people be very gregarious when you're on the outside this sort of anarchistic We must at any any way I'm I'm part of the rebellion. We're going to push back against the hegemony. It's like yeah dude, you are the hegemony now like you can't have even within content online it's so much easier and sexier to be the upstart rebel pushing back against the establishment. When you become the establishment, you can't do that. So I wonder >> Well, that's what happened with the left and I think that's why you know, we took power and control in 2024 is because so many young people looked around and went oh, I'm not I'm no longer raging against the machine. I am the machine. Like I'm raging for the machine and so I do think that that has caused a bit of a shift and so we'll I'll be interested to see how that happens on the right. How do you think conservatives feel about Trump's performance so far? I can say how I feel about it. Um there's a lot of things that I feel really great about and he's doing things that I voted for especially at the beginning. I feel like we just like raced out of the great gates. I am definitely in support of you know, deportations and getting our borders secured. I was really excited about almost all of his I'd say all of his executive orders. I think we were heading in the right direction. I know that he is working on the economy, but I think where I and many of my Gen Z counterparts feel a bit trepidatious about things is we haven't felt the impacts of that yet. We aren't seeing tangible changes in the affordability in life in the US and I think that a lot of young people are looking around and going okay, well I I voted for lower costs. I want to be able to buy a home. I am worried about my student loan debt. Whatever it may be. I want to be able to afford the groceries that I want to buy. I want to be able to continue living in the city that I have grown up in like in New York. And I think that that group especially young people are getting a bit nervous. I think that's why maybe 12 months in now chop chop, where is it? >> Yeah, and of course those things take time and I have a lot of empathy for the situation that Trump you know, came into. He was handed a hell of a project. Cuz I think that through COVID and the Biden presidency just so many things blew up and so he has a lot to repair. So I understand that, but I also understand the young people especially who are looking around and going no, my life is starting now and I feel like I can't catch up and I need to see this change. And to have Trump then you know, go on Fox News and say there is no affordability crisis. You've made it up in your head. It's like that's The average you see that stat that the average age of first home purchase is now over 40. >> Yeah, it's insane. It's the highest it's ever been >> [snorts] >> and for repeat home buyers, I think it's 61. >> Yep. Yeah. And like how how can you not look at those stats as a young person and go like there's no hope for me. I'm 21. I'm at university. You're telling me I'm going to grind for the next 19 years on average to get to my first home. And if the number is presumably shifting so by the time that you get there it's 45, it's yeah. And I think that there's a lot of betrayal that I see with young people where they the sentiment is like I did everything right. Like I did all the right things in high school. I did all the extracurriculars. I volunteered. I got the great grades. I did well on the ACT. I went to a four-year university. I took out the loans cuz everybody told me I needed to go to this great university and do all the right things and now I'm coming out. Exactly. Now they're coming out. They can't get jobs especially when it comes to you know, straight white men who are getting passed up. There were due statistics about that that I think that the majority of Hopefully I'm not putting my foot in my mouth here, but I think the majority of hires in the last couple of years were DEI hires. And so young men especially young white men are looking around and going like what was it all for and now I'm not even going to be able to buy a home and like God forbid be able to like support a wife and children. If that trickles down as well, if your older brother or older friends from the sports teams that you grew up in or just what you see being posted online gives you this sense that the future is not going to be that hopeful, it causes a lot of despondency. I think this is this is one of the big challenges that people face. It's not just what is the reality of the economy, can people afford stuff? It's what do people think the reality is? This is intergenerational competition theory. So you at your age compare yourself to where you think your parents were at your age. >> Yeah. And the problem there is you don't actually know where your parents were. So everybody thinks that the golden era get that into you. Your husband will be happy. Um Everybody thinks that the golden era from the past was better. But interestingly no one ever believes they're living through a golden age. Right? The 90s no one thought we're living through a golden age. The 70s no one thought we're living through a golden age. The 30s no one thought we're living through a golden age. Like But in retrospect you assume that that's what it was like. And in many ways affordability, first time home ownership, you can look at objective metrics of that, but the biggest one is how do people feel Yes. >> about it and if you feel like you're being kicked in the nuts over and over again that is your reality whether or not that is your reality. And I think that's probably a lot of Trump's frustration is that he's like I see that I'm making like I'm moving the needle. I'm trying to make this happen, but it's really hard to fight with an entire generation of young people who again are looking around and going I'm not going to make it. Where is what I was promised? >> Yeah, exactly. And you said it I always go back to this because it was just such an eloquent way to put it when you came on my show however many years ago that was you said the bar is so low that you don't have to do much to stand out and I I think that that rings true in that situation as well. There are obviously young people who do buy homes, who do make it work and a lot of times their mindset is different. That does not mean that just changing your mindset is going to fix everything because it does require a lot of sacrifices. It requires probably adjusting the plan that you assumed you would follow whatever it might be. But there is a path for home ownership for young people. There is a path for success, starting families. Obviously, I see it every day, but for a lot of people when you are in yeah, this vacuum of I'm never going to make it. I'm never going to make it and objectively it is hard. Objectively interest rates are high. Objectively things are not affordable. I don't want young people to be in endless debt. I don't want them to have to leave the cities that they want to live in and you know, change their careers, whatever it is, but unfortunately that kind of is the reality that we are currently living in and I think one of the most important things you can do is first assess your reality and go okay, I just have you know, this is it. I have to accept it. Now what am I going to do about it? So if I had to give advice, that would be what it is. That doesn't make the situation any better, but it's like okay, if we can't if you can't fight this yourself right now, obviously you can vote differently. You can do whatever you want. You can advocate for certain policies, but as an individual in order to make yourself feel better and push your life in a better direction, the first step in my opinion is always okay, this is my reality. What am I going to do about it? And what I as an individual, what power do I have? A quick aside, if you haven't been feeling as sharp or energized as you'd like, getting your blood work done is literally the best place to start. You need to work out what's happening inside of your body and that is what blood work does. That's why I partnered with Function because they run lab tests twice a year that monitor over 100 biomarkers. They've got a team of expert physicians then take the data, put it in a simple dashboard and give you insights and actionable recommendations to improve your health and lifespan. They track everything. Your heart health, hormone levels, thyroid function, nutrient deficiencies. They even screen for 50 types of cancer at stage one. It's five times more than you get from an annual physical. Getting your blood work drawn and analyzed like this usually costs thousands, but with Function it is just $499 and right now you can get $100 off bringing it down to 399 bucks. Get the exact same blood panels that I get and save 100 bucks by going to the link in the description below or heading to functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. That's functionhealth.com / modern wisdom. I think it's a great perspective and I understand what you mean that um any any conversation about your mindset has an influence on your outcomes in life needs to be caveated with well, objective reality still exists. Yeah, right? Okay, now that that's [ __ ] out on the table. There's some red tape. There's the disclaimer. I think it's the best way to look at it because every other person also has that same belief of this is too hard. I'm never going to get there etc. etc. And that demotivation, that lack of drive, that hopelessness impacts their uh push to go and do something. So that further means that the bar has been lowered. Like the the fact that so many people believe it's so hard to do so little means that if you can just the tiniest glimmer of hope that you can self manifest or you're around three friends that you find that are a little bit more optimistic than most people are on average that is the performance enhancer. The average American adult is obese, divorced and less than 1K in the bank. Yeah. That's the average. >> Yeah, again, the bar is low. Obese, divorced, less than 1K in the bank. Doing what everybody else does sounds like a safe option, but it's actually a reliable route to a life that you probably don't want. >> Correct. So, that includes what you believe. That includes what you believe about the future. So, what everybody else says, it's like, "Okay, what are the outcomes that everybody else who says gets?" Yeah. Well, they're not that great. And again, objective reality exists. The average home owner rate, the highest it's ever ever been for first-time purchases. Yes, yes, yes. But again, that uh big cohort that's shifting that way means that the outliers can exist down here. Now, uh a surprising insight here that you probably weren't expecting, Destiny, when he came on my show, he explained an idea of how I asked him, "What do you say to left-wing people who outsource a lot of their uh agency in the world to the circumstances that they're in?" That's sort of externalizing uh sense of control. Uh and he said he thinks about it as sort of a two-step flow theory. I came up with the name, but can you explain the theory? So, he said that there's a particular bracket within which you sit, and this will be determined by your genetics, it'll be determined by where you grew up, who your parents were, the area you're in, the time uh of the world that you existed within. He's like, "That bracket is really really hard to move, right? That is kind of objective reality." But inside of that bracket, it's all you. Yeah. And the more effort that you apply, the more diligent that you can be, the more prosocial you can be, the more hopeful you can be, um that allows you to move within that. So, yeah, you can whine about where the bracket is. I do get that. But especially if you're toward the bottom end within the bracket, it's like, "Dude, that's on you." >> Yeah. And I understand That's a great way to put it with the bracket might be in different places. But your movement within it is is it's it is all in front of you. >> Yeah, that's your personal responsibility. Yeah. Yeah, who knew that Destiny was going to be the savior for this? That's great. >> [laughter] >> But I I get the sense the young people conversation is going to be like increasingly important because the young people are going to become the middle-aged people in not very long, you know, uh Yeah, most significant voting block. When >> Millennials and Gen Z. When Trump was first voted in, 2016, that would have been sort of millennials as the young and up-and-comers. And by the time that J.D. Vance needs to come in, some of those millennials are going to be nearly in their 50s or probably in their 50s. So, that's a big that's a big swing. That's a big difference in terms of where people are at in terms of their lives if they haven't had delivered what they what they wanted. What do you make in reflection uh What do you think Mondaire is uh election tells us or teaches us? What did you take away from that? Um Well, first of all, I saw a lot of people responding and going, "You know, this means that we need to teach young people about the dangers of socialism and communism, and that's what you know, that's the response here." I actually don't think that people were voting for him in large part because they were all socialists. Like, I don't think the majority of New Yorkers are socialists. They were voting for him number one, cuz he preached about affordability in the economy. Again, that is the number one issue. It's the number one issue in 2024. It's what Trump talked about basically every single day on the campaign trail. It's why he won. It's why people are desperate for him to deliver and are still, you know, trying to be helpful. Um and it's hard to argue with free. When you're saying, "I'm going to give free housing [laughter] and free groceries. We're going to do all of these things." People are going to go, "That sounds really great cuz things are really freaking expensive." So, it's like it it wasn't surprising to me at all. I also had a lot of people asking, you know, "Were you shocked that young women voted for him?" No. Like, young women are the most far left group in history. They are also worried about the economy and affordability. Those two things combined, like obviously they were going to vote for him. They are, you know, much further left on all these social issues. Um So, no, I think that it just solidifies the fact that the number one thing people are concerned about is their futures and the economy and obviously affordability. And I also think it solidifies the fact that politics really is about personality. And I think that we saw a major shift, especially with Obama and the you know, I grew up during the Obama years. And just looking back, he brought politics into pop culture and he became this pop culture figure. And then with Trump, obviously he is an entertainer. He connects with people on that level. >> politics. Yes. And and I think that that still rings true and people, you know, they tried to run Cuomo thinking that he could beat somebody like Mondaire who was going viral every single day on social media, who genuinely looks like he enjoyed the campaign trail. That was the similarities that I saw with Trump and Mondaire. I think that they're, you know, two different sides of the same coin of like Trump loves the fight. He loves being out there, you know, the adages, you know, shaking hands and kissing babies. He loves being the McDonald's fry cook and doing the gags and getting in the garbage trucks, whatever it is. Mondaire loves doing the same thing. I when we got to New York a couple weeks ago, Alex and I were in New York for the for that election, actually, cuz I had a show there and was doing a bunch of stuff for Fox. And the moment that we landed there, my TikTok algorithm completely shifted to show me all New York stuff. And I kind of tuned out. And we got there on Sunday and I was like, "Oh, obviously the moment I opened TikTok, I was like, he's going to win." Cuz I got served these ridiculous videos that Cuomo was making. They were like AI attacks on Mondaire. He wasn't actually out in the streets interacting with anybody. Apparently, allegedly, he hasn't even lived in New York City since the '90s, and he was using his daughter's address to register himself to be able to run. Like, a whole weird thing. And Mondaire like is this New Yorker and he's speaking to New Yorkers. And I remember sitting in our hotel room when a video popped up of Mondaire and he was doing like tai chi in a old folks home in New York with a bunch of like old like female New Yorkers. And whoever had posted it had put this like really sad like TikTok music behind it. And I was laying in bed watching. I was like, "Oh, he's kind of cute." Alex was like, "Shut the [ __ ] up." >> [laughter] >> They're getting you. That's how they get you. >> They were like, "Turn it off. Don't look at it." But it showed me a lot because I was like, "Oh, no, he is the entertainer. He's connecting in the same way that Trump connected with voters." Where he is just like speaking like a normal human being. Trump, the appeal of him to so many people, especially, you know, I love this about him, is that he has more money than most of us could even fathom having. He has this insane life. He lives in these like gold-plated mansions and penthouses. And yet he looks completely comfortable driving a trash truck. He can talk to the average American. Um you feel heard and seen by him. You feel like he understands your issues. He's funny. He's relatable. And Mondaire has that same has those same attributes. Meanwhile, Cuomo was probably the most stiff, ridiculous, you know, unrelatable politician ever. Um and it was also unfortunate to me that like that that's who the GOP told us to throw our support behind. It's like, "This is the best alternative." Like, I'm tired of having like the better of two evils, basically. Um so, no, I wasn't surprised that he won. I think it shows us that people care about personality, they care about authenticity, and they care about affordability. They want free things. When it comes to the affordability point, politicians that are the challenger always have an advantage because they can make promises that they haven't had to deliver on yet. >> Yeah. Whereas if you're the incumbent and you say, "I'm going to do X." It's like, you've been in [ __ ] power for This was the criticism of Kamala Harris, right? That she had been How can you say, "We are going to get in"? Who's we? You are we. Right? You were you then. You were part of this. Why did you not do it before? You've been in for 4 years. Um Free sounds great until someone needs to foot the bill for it. Yeah. Uh or until you do something with the taxes that causes people to leave, which causes the taxes to go down, which causes austerity to have to kick in more, da da da da da. So, I wonder how much of this, if there is more of a crunch coming, if there is a little bit of a squeeze in terms of the economy, finances, uh I wonder how much is going to result in just a flip-flopping between the side that's in has uh come up against the physics of reality economically, socially, etc. Uh so, the side that's out can always make the promise Yeah. that the side that's in can't. Yeah, and then you just continue to like >> And we're already seeing it with Mondaire. I think it was like a week in >> Cuz he rolled something back. Yes, where he was like, "I actually Oh, I don't know if I can make this like free house." He was talking about some apartment complex, I believe. And he was like, "I don't really know." Yeah, he was like, "It might not be free. Maybe less expensive." Um He also immediately This was just hilarious. People went to his victory party expecting that there would be free booze, free food, whatever it is. It was a cash bar. And it was just like so perfect. And there were all these posts being like, "Oh, I was invited to this and I thought after all the work that we put in, you know, it would be free, obviously. And I had to pay $13 for my beer." Like, "Oh, well, I'm glad this is really working out for us." And then he also he had done this whole like grandstanding a couple months ago where he was like, "Guys, I'm going to do what no politician has ever said before. Don't send me any more money. We have enough money. We don't need any like millionaires funding us. Don't send us any more." The day after he was elected, he was like, "Okay, so now I I need more money. So, now I need you to keep sending me more money." And everyone was like, "Wait. Oh, wait. Well, I thought everything was going to be free. I thought we didn't need to do anything." Anyway, so it's already Which one of the problems one of the problems of the political becoming personal or pop cultural, which is uh you can make claims that sound really sexy, uh but at some point that sort of check needs to be cashed or the hypocrisy can be called out of something that you meant before that was like a cool campaign slogan. And you're like, "Yeah, I didn't really mean it." Yeah. And it's not it's not as if that hasn't been the same for Trump either, right? The H-1B visas thing, like affordability. Uh I think I don't know. There is some kind of plot armor that Trump has that because he's so gregarious, kind of like the the um I'm just a comedian, you know, that kind of get out He's like, "I'm just Trump." And that's not the standard of your president should not be able to use the cliche caricature of their own surname to explain away why they didn't do the thing that they said that they were going to do. But I think if somebody's a little bit more earnest like uh Mamdani was, uh you can't you don't get this sort of uh buffer zone of like him just like bloviating his Well, you know, you you you just he just says things. It's like, well, you don't you know, you're supposed to be a precise politician who's statesmanlike and doing this stuff. Uh so in some ways that gives you the advantage of seeming real, of seeming relatable, of seeming authentic in a way that Trump seems authentic, but he seems authentic in the same way that a WWE character or a Marvel villain is authentic. It's like, well, he's just being himself. I think >> than life. What congruent Congruent might be a good way to put it that like he believes what he's saying, right? But that doesn't mean that what he's saying and what he I He believes what he's saying, but that doesn't mean that what he believes is accurate. Like sometimes he just has the the idea outcomes. Um but yeah, that's a that's going to be a challenge. The bigger the promises are that you make, the more challenging it's going to be when you have to deliver them when you get into office. And if Mamdani >> Especially when you've been handed such a mess like Trump was. And when the promises are so grand like Mamdani. True. Well, I think that >> larger than life in a completely It's like overhauling the entire system of how that city has been run for hundreds of years. >> The Trump thing, the mess thing I get, but to a big degree Biden came into a [ __ ] huge mess as well. He came in in the middle of COVID. And there does seem to be I don't fully understand this, but I get the sense that every administration sort of culls a steaming turd out just as they're about to depart >> Yeah. and goes like, "Good luck. Good luck with that. We've We've been >> [laughter] >> We've had to deal with this for ages and I don't I don't I don't know. That's that one's on you, Joe." Um so every administration has to deal with it. It's certainly not It wouldn't be fair to say that Biden didn't because he entered in the middle of a [ __ ] pandemic. Um and then had to do the rollout for the vaccine even being developed. And then you've got this sort of weird balancing act you've got to do between the two. Like it's Trump's vaccine, but it's our rollout, but the anti-vax, pro-vax Yeah. And the lockdowns started with Trump, but >> and then you've got to keep Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, um everybody has the stuff that they inherit. And uh I people have just got such short memories. They've got such short memories around the the point that you were making only 4 years ago to criticize this thing is the exact one you're using as a Oh, exactly. Um but yeah, I I I'll be fascinated to see what happens with uh with New York because you're picking like maybe one of the most sort of capitalistic, ruthless, greed is good archetype >> economic center. >> Yes. Yeah. Correct. And you Well, what if you strike directly at the the middle of that. I mean What was the thing that Trump did? He shut down that like parking, that travel fine that was from 70 7th Street down to 20th Street like Midtown had if you pass your car through that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, "That's not going That's going to go away, etc. etc." I don't know. I I He would He would be another point actually. What do you think conservatives and Republicans are missing in how they can better compete for Gen Z if you've got this huge female swing. I'm aware it's New York Mhm. centric. But it's probably indicative of other cosmopolitan areas around the country. Mhm. What are the right missing that Mamdani got correct? Again, I I think it goes back to saying the right things unfortunately. Like it's like the right has to deliver. Like that's easier said than done, but we're at such a turning point as we've been talking about. Um that I think people, especially in New York, especially people who are on the left, we're desperate for something new because I think people on the left are just as fed up with their own establishment politicians. They were You know, they didn't want Kamala to be in state. I think they were tired of the fact that Bernie never got a fair shot cuz they primary whatever it is. They primary him. And so I think that we're dealing We're all dealing with the same type of feelings. And Mamdani was an outsider and a disruptor. And so I think that worked in the same way that Trump worked in 2016. And so I do think that it comes down to what Trump and Vance are able to deliver. And I also think if Vance is the nominee in 2028 his messaging has to be so incredibly clear and he cannot fall prey to you know, the neocon messaging. Um >> be What would be the biggest error errors that he could make in a If you were to design a campaign for JD to fail as impressively as possible, what would he be talking about? Um I think a big part of it would be tone and talking down to people. Uh I think that's one way that he shines right now is that JD Vance sounds the same when he is speaking to a supporter in middle of America. He sounds the same when he's speaking to a reporter. He tweets in the same way. He doesn't take himself too seriously. I think that is a great quality. And I think if he loses that and becomes a bit too uh I guess politician speak and a bit too diplomatic, I think that that's where he'll start to lose people again because politics is personality. So, I think that is like going to be the driving force here. Um I think if he talks a lot about foreign affairs, I think if he's saying we're going to send all of our money overseas, I think that's going to be a a problem for young people because again, if we're looking at our own country and going you know, if my generation is saying I don't feel like I can buy a house, I am, you know, under all of this debt, my taxes are so high, I can't start a family, whatever it is, if that is the attitude that they have and what they feel like their reality is, the last thing they want to hear is, "Hey, we're shipping our money overseas." Um and so I think that's going to be a real pressing issue. I also think I said this in a recent episode and I was interested to see how people responded to it and they actually agreed, but I kind of made a joke and I was like, "I don't think my generation cares as much about owning the libs. They care about owning a house." And the culture war is obviously important, but it felt less important in Mamdani's campaign. And I think that showed a lot. Like obviously he was like, "You can come here and you can get your gender reassignment surgeries, whatever." But that wasn't the key point of his campaign. He was talking about making your life better Interesting he was he was very radical economically, but relatively normal culturally. I guess cult normal culturally for his base. >> Yes. Yeah. Not Not normal in how I would say. Yes. Um but it it was not the focal point of his um of his campaign. His campaign was New York first, allowing New Yorkers to be able to stay in their city and afford homes and afford groceries. And that worked for people. And I think that that is working for people on the right. Like when I said that, I had hundreds of comments being like, "Oh my gosh, this Yes, that is exactly how I feel. Like I'm fed up with going back and forth about he said, she said, oh, this crazy person did this on the left." Like I'm tired of it. I just want to be able to move my life forward and not feel like I'm a hamster in a wheel. And I'm, you know, both sides are giving me the same solution that isn't making my life any better. This episode is brought to you by Momentous. If your sleep's been off, taking ages to fall asleep, waking up at random times, feeling groggy in the morning, Momentous' sleep hacks are here to help. They are not your typical knock you out supplement overloaded with melatonin. Just the most evidence-based ingredients at perfect doses to help you fall asleep more quickly, stay asleep throughout the night, and wake up feeling more rested and revitalized in the morning. That is why I take these things every single night and why I trust Momentus with my life or at least with my sleep because they make the highest quality supplements on the planet. What you read on the label is what's in the product and absolutely nothing else. And if you're still unsure, they've got a 30-day money-back guarantee, so you can buy it completely risk-free, use it, and if you don't like it for any reason, they'll give you your money back. That's how confident they are that you'll love it. Right now, you can get 35% off and they ship internationally by going to the link in the description below or heading to livemomentous.com/modernwisdom using the code modernwisdom at checkout. That's l i v e m o m e n t o u s.com/modernwisdom and modernwisdom at checkout. I had a uh I had a shiny object cycle that I tweeted about uh a while ago. And I think this kind of explains at least a little bit of what people have become frustrated with. So, this is the culture war's shiny object cycle. Here's how it goes. >> Okay. Number one, some woke news story hits the press. Cats suffer from racial discrimination or screwing in light bulbs needs to be recognized as a valid sexual kink or something. Number two, the right-wing antibody response activates. Look at how insane these people are. Matt Walsh quote tweets the article and calls it obnoxious. This is the problem with our convenient, decadent Tik Tok society. Number three, this reaction causes the story to gain infinitely more traction than it ever would have done by signal boosting the original fringe scenario into a much bigger event. Number four, the left-wing counter response activates. Right-wingers lose their minds over one woman with a particularly dark cat. The Daily Wire has a meltdown over an insignificant troll article. In times where the original story is less insane, this includes a defense of the original article, too. Cats actually can experience trauma. Minimizing this is the real problem. Number five, the right-wing re-reaction kicks into gear. Apparently, I'm insane for pushing back against cat trauma. See, this is the problem. If you don't stand our ground, these blue-haired idiots will take over the country. And number six, finally, the touch grass meta reactionaries steam in. The real issue is people talking about this issue. Look at how silly this whole thing is. It's time to check out of the culture war. We should reconnect with what really matters. Should move into the ranch next to Ryan Holiday and hammer fence posts into the ground for the rest of time. This cycle is banal. It's excruciatingly repetitive. So, why does it sustain our attention if basically every discussion follows the same cycle? Because every story is sprinkled with just enough novelty to give it the illusion that this is a new event, which legitimates the pushback. We've not seen this trans flag with people who suffer from a gluten intolerance included in it before. It's like a 20th season of Lost where they're back on an island for the seventh time and need to escape, but this time it's winter. The culture war shiny object cycle does my head in. It does my head in because I get captured by it. I see a bank rewriting classic fairy tales into a boss [ __ ] remake called fairy tales princesses doing it for themselves and think, this is [ __ ] dumb. Where's Douglas Murray? I need him to decimate this idea with me. It's cathartic. Calling out insane ideas written by idiots is so compelling and fun and easy to do. It's like being a cocaine addict with Pablo Escobar as a next door neighbor. The means of production are whirring at maximum RPM and we're all caught in the vortex. But, it's a distraction. It's a distraction from our attention being focused on the things which are actually meaningful. Not meaningful in a will you remember this when you're dead way, but in a there's other issues that are more important to talk about way. There's entire American cities with fentanyl epidemics. 80% of suicides are people aged 18 to 24 that are men. I want to hear Peterson talking about dealing with finding meaning in a world stripped of all its guardrails. I want Taleb to be writing about applying complex maths to simple life problems. Many of the smartest people on the planet have had their attention captured arguing about whether men are men and women are women or not over the last few years and even more of the less smart ones, too. All of our collective minds are held hostage by an endless cycle of shiny objects that aggravate both sides and make them feel righteous for standing their ground. The bottomless pit, I don't think it's going to stop. I will almost certainly bring up stories like this in future, but I'm going to try hard to focus more on stuff that matters in 50 years, not just in 50 minutes and probably so should you. That's great. And I and I think that you have the self-awareness to acknowledge that you get captured by that as I do. Um and that's something I've thought about a lot this year. That was actually something that I was really considering as I you know, left Common Section and was going out on my own was how often did I fall into that out of the necessity of having to do two shows a day. So, I'm you know, contract I'm contracted to do these shows. Need to come up with two things to talk about every single day. I was doing 10 episodes a week. And in looking back, I was like, how often was I just pulling things out of my ass? And they were all things I enjoyed talking about and I thought that they were, you know, funny. And I do think that in those situations I'm of the opinion that yes, there are far more important things to talk about. I think I'm landing more there these days, especially with the content that I'm doing. However, I do think it's important when something is so egregious and ridiculous, it's less that I think it's important to wag the finger and say, this is so awful and you know, a atrocity, but also just to like laugh at it. And I think that's where I And yeah, cuz it's so absurd. And the right is doing things that are absurd. And the left has been doing things that are crazy, but also the right has been doing the same thing. Um and I think that's kind of where I found myself landing even even throughout, you know, Common Section when I was doing two episodes a day. I did always come from a place of, you know, can what can we actually learn from this? Like I don't want to just make fun of something or bring something up for the sake of, you know, haha, I'm pointing a finger, but what can we actually take away from this? Yeah. It sits in it. Yeah. Uh and I always tried to end my episodes with that because it was like if I don't care about what I'm talking about, if there isn't something that people can learn from, then why am I even talking about that? Um but that was a big piece of reflection as I was leaving and I scaled back my show tremendously. I was like, okay, I'm only going to do two episodes a week. They need to be really, really good topics. I need to really care about them and I'll build from there. But I need to completely take a step back from this, you know, hamster wheel that I've been in of two episodes every single day. Um and really find out what do I like talking about? What is meaningful? What is meaningful right now? Um cuz now I think everything you said was completely true. And it's it's so funny with the outrage cycle of then whoever is being critiqued who just digs their heel in even more or they're, you know, claws in whatever it is. and then the meta reaction comes in. Yeah. happening. And then they're like, no, but it's a good thing that it's happening. And the right's doing that, too, now. It's not happening and it's good. Yes, exactly. And two, you know, two things can be true at once. Um but I found that humor was the best way to navigate that. Was like, I'm not going home at night and thinking about the gluten-free trans flag, but I do think it's funny to laugh at it and we can spend 10 minutes going, this is really absurd. Can you believe our culture has gotten here? Um and that felt like the healthiest way to go about it. What feels more unstable to you, politics or culture at the moment? Can you even separate the two? I think that's my main question. They're so intertwined. Um I think culture is more dominant at the moment and is influencing more of politics, so I would say that's just a bit more volatile. Well, when we think about my initial fracturing of the right question, we're talking about culture. We're not talking about politics. The right. Yeah, no, no, no, no. I mean like the YouTube right. Yes. I don't mean I don't mean the political right. [ __ ] it's the end of the human centipede with YouTube at the front. Yeah. Um No, that's what's so ridiculous. It's like, oh, the civil war. And it's like with the a group of people on Yeah, make videos. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, wild. >> Everyone's competing for views and and dominance. Uh you've got a quote, spend one day being grateful that you're allowed to say that online, that you're allowed to criticize your country because a lot of people don't have that freedom. Now, that would sound like, you know, you're talking about Iran, you're talking about North Korea. Mhm. Unfortunately, now you might be talking about the UK as well. Um just that quote in isolation and then realizing oh, that that's my country. That's Yeah. actually my country. >> now. Uh well, that's certain pockets of it. I don't know whether it's the same in France or Germany. I don't know what Canada is like. >> into Western civilization. When >> coming into my civilization. Um but yeah, that's Yeah, when you're arrested at the airport coming into the country for making trans jokes. Graham Linehan. Yeah. Yeah. Uh creator of Father Ted. It's it's happening so much more at the moment and um I think the the immigration concerns that people in the UK have at the moment uh even you are starting to feel that with regards to the to the H1B thing. The advantage America has is it's such a [ __ ] huge country that you can let lots of people sneak across the border illegally and still it doesn't get felt that much in the same way as a country with like what? 20% of the population in I think I think the population density of the UK is 10 times more than the US because it's yeah, it's only 20% of the people, but it's in like 2% of the landmass or something like that. Um that being said, the fact that this H1B visa thing and we actually don't have as many smart people in the country as we need. We do need to import them from China. That's going to start to be felt by the exact sort of upper working class, middle class group that was supposed to be the mainstay of sort of Trump's future and JD's future as well. And I think that the H1B visa stuff is interesting because it is not a majority of workers in America. I think people look at that issue and think, oh, this is, you know, a huge huge fraction of people. And it is significant, but we do have more Americans working than people we've imported, but I think for people who are concerned about it like myself, it's more of the message that we're sending Americans that it's like, yeah, I mean, Trump said it himself and it was disappointing where he was, you know, very bluntly said, we don't have the talent. Therefore, we need to import people. And I think you have Americans looking around who can't find work. Again, these young people who did everything right, who went through the system, who are coming out now and can't find jobs. And they're going, you're kidding me. And you look at the jobs that we are uh that we're filling with these people that are coming in the country. And Trump's talking about, you know, people need they need to be able to make missiles and batteries, but you look at it and it's like 7-Eleven employee. And supply chain analyst. It's like, you're telling me Americans can't be supply chain analysts, that we don't have these incredible graduates who have come out of our, you know, universities who are looking for jobs. You're telling me we have to import somebody from China or India to do this job. It just doesn't make sense. Um and I think the entire system just needs to be basically blown up. And if you do need to bring in new talent, if we need to teach people how to do certain trades and skills, then focus on that and make that the priority. Make it a very specific thing. Now, obviously, I'm not a politician. I'm not in DC. I don't know how those things specifically work or what it would take to do that. But from my position on the outside, that is what makes sense to you because obviously, you know, we have not been in the manufacturing business for decades. We have outsourced so much of that. So, it makes sense that it is not going to be an overnight switch to just, you know, bring everything back to America. But is there a way to do that without it being a slap in the face to Americans? And I don't know I don't know the answer to that. And I think that'll be something that JD really needs to lean into because only a couple of months ago, he was echoing the sentiments of most of the base saying, "This is something we should do away with. This is, you know, I want to prioritize handling this and reducing the amount of people." And obviously the Trump administration, they have put fines and fees on bringing in um new people on the H-1B visas. Um and that is progress. So, they have, you know, they've tried to do something there. But, I think it was definitely a flip-flop for Republicans when we just saw JD just 2 months ago saying that. And then Trump was like, "Nope, we're not getting rid of it. We need them cuz you're all dumb and you can't work." And so, I think a lot of people went, "Uh, this is just another hit." Um it's hard cuz you want to trust the process and you want to trust that, you know, there is a plan. Um but I think especially for young people, especially young people who again did everything right, who are trying to find work, it's just like that's not the message that you want to send to them. Mhm. It does feel like from every different angle, hopefulness is increasingly hard. Like, optimism is more radical than nihilism. Oh, for sure. >> And uh it it it really doesn't surprise me. Do you see the uh sentiment analysis of the relationship advice subreddit? Has this come across your radar? This stinks of you. Um >> [laughter] >> relationships, it's never been more fashionable to ditch your suboptimal love one. Mhm. For every post since 2010, a computer scientist used an AI to filter for and then categorize the subreddit's most upvoted comments. >> Mhm. He found the comments advising boundaries, therapies, and breakups have surged. >> Yeah. While nearly every other kind of advice telling people to communicate, giving each other space, compromise, et cetera, has declined. So, the law was correct. Telling people to walk away or cut contact with someone, shown by an up into the right line, is the most popular tip in the relationship advice subreddit, and it's not even close. And I can show you >> Yes, I want to see. what the line looks like. >> surprise me at all. So, this is 15 years of Reddit relationship advice. It's over a million comments. Um you don't even need to be able to see Oh my gosh, that's insane. Yeah. But, I mean, that that is a complete parallel to what we're seeing in politics. Where it's I will just cut off your family, disavow your parents. Well, we're about to go into Thanksgiving, which is where you get the how to ignore your racist MAGA uncle around the dinner table, how to do that. Yeah. And it And I think people maybe naively assumed that things have just gotten better and the messages have changed, but I was doing an episode on Teen Vogue and them being absorbed into vogue.com, this whole thing. Mhm. And so, I was looking through some of their recent media, and they had their Vogue or Teen Vogue summit just a couple of months ago. And their headliner was this like body positivity confidence woman influencer speaker. And they had posted a couple of clips from her talk. And the thing that she was driving home was that she was so proud of the fact that she no longer speaks to her father, her mother, or any of her siblings. And she was saying, "You should do that, too, because that is for the good of our country, for your well-being. You need to set these boundaries. I feel great. Just blocked my brother yesterday." Is what she said. And the audience is going, "Okay." And you can tell there's a bit of apprehension like as you listen to the response there and even reading the comments, people are like, This radical even for us. >> is like a bit crazy, but that's that's still a message that is being sent. Mhm. Is you have to build these walls. We're not going to talk about things. We're going to cut people off that we disagree with. We're going to live in our echo chambers. Um and so, yeah, that transcends just just relationships. Well, I it is strange that at the same time as people have a loneliness crisis, uh existential issues, they've never felt more like a droid number just bleep bleeping away in some soulless, faceless, big uh apartment block, uh people are struggling to find a partner that can commit, that is available, that they like, that one that will even go on a date with them. >> Yeah. And yet at the same time, for the people who have got that or who do have a family that does make them feel less alone, uh the resilience to work through challenges and difficulties and to negotiate and compromise, um or just to, in Mel Robbins' language, to just let them. Mhm. Um these two worlds need trying to exist at the same time, but they feel like they're part and parcel of the same. Like, if you cycle through Yeah, if you cycle through more people, Yeah. you have to find more new people. Yeah. Like Okay, I've gotten rid of mom, dad, and both my brothers. Yeah. Okay, well, you now need like 10 friends to take the place of four family members. And then well, you've gotten rid of your partner, which that's why you're back in the dating market is because you got rid of your the person you were dating. Yeah. Uh so >> these people that are stuck in their own cycles of victimhood and life is awful and I've cut off all of my family members and they want to feel better about that, which is why that woman is sitting on the stage saying, "You should cut everybody off." Not because she's happy and because it's so great, but because she's like, "I'm doing this because I feel like it is morally a good thing. I'm virtuous. I need you guys to applaud me for doing so, for doing these incredible things, setting these boundaries. You need to do it as well, because then we can be miserable together. We can hate the world. We can hate our out-of-touch parents, whatever it may be." Um and people who are in unhappy relationships or are not in relationships, it is more comfortable to encourage people to be in their same situation than to say, "Communicate, talk through it, compromise." >> Yep. You know, your future as a married couple should be something you are working towards together. Do not abandon it altogether. It is easier to say, "Screw it." Mhm. And it makes people feel better, in my opinion. Before we continue, I've been drinking AG1 every morning for years now because it is the simplest way that I found to cover my bases and not overthink nutrition. And that's why I partnered with them. 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole food sourced ingredients in a single drink. And now they've taken it a step further with AG1 next gen. The same one scoop, once-a-day ritual, but this time Oh, it's coming in from multiple directions. This time backed by four clinical trials. In those trials, it was shown to fill common nutrient gaps, improve key nutrient levels, and increase healthy gut bacteria by 10 times even in people who already well. Basically, they've upgraded the formula with more probiotics, better bio bioavailable nutrients, and clinical validation. Plus, it's still NSF certified for sport, so that you know the quality is legit. And if I ever found anything better, I would change, but I haven't, which is why I still use it every single day. If you're still on the fence, there's a 90-day money-back guarantee if you're in the US, so you can buy it and try it for 3 months. If you don't like it, they will give you your money back. And right now, when you first subscribe, you can get a free bottle of D3K2, an AG1 welcome kit, a few bonus AG1 travel packs, and that 90-day money-back guarantee if you're in the US by going to the link in the description below and heading to drinkag1.com /modernwisdom. That's drinkag1.com / modernwisdom. Cut off contact with your family or partner is socially and relationally the exact same philosophy as body positivity as for health. Mhm. It's like try and become thin or try and become healthy at a healthy weight, and if you can't, declare that weight has no bearing on health anyway. >> Uh maybe don't even try. Don't even try that. Just like declare that it doesn't in any case. If you go straight to the end the end goal. Uh but the same thing here. Maybe some people might try to fix their relationship with their family that they fundamentally disagree with or whatever. But if you can't, you can just cut off contact and announce that the desire for having a family or being in connection with your brothers and mother and father is misguided and must be subdued in any case. >> Yeah, well, all goes back to creating the reality that you want to live in and what you're most comfortable in. It is more uncomfortable to say, "I don't agree with these people, but I love them and I want them in my life." It is more uncomfortable to say, "Oh, I've cut these people off and now I'm really unhappy and I'm really lonely." So, if you can trick yourself into saying, "This is empowerment. This is great. Actually, everybody should be doing this." Then you're creating this really unhappy reality. Body positivity in the age of Ozempic is a really radical position to take, Ned. Like, Ozempic just showed how much of a scam body positivity was all along. >> Oh my gosh, yes. As soon as they got Do you see any Schumer's recent photos? No. Oh, she's Sick of >> wind could blow her away. [laughter] It's like Meghan Trainor, she's no longer all about that bass. She's like this big. >> [sighs] >> Lizzo's lost the weight. >> Lizzo has lost the weight. Yeah. I mean, Adele did it in the before times. Yeah. You know, she did it through health and fitness. Interestingly, >> phenomenal. She looks fantastic. Uh interestingly, I wonder whether Adele's weight loss would be more or less accepted by her fans now. I don't know whether part of the reason that Adele's weight loss was seen as such a objectionable middle finger to her fans that she did it with a resource, with a fuel that is even less accessible to most people because she did it with discipline and hard work and willpower. Um so, I I have this theory. Uh first off, the the introduction of Ozempic proved that body positivity was a scam. You look at the Golden Globes, everyone's like a [ __ ] crypt keeper. Yeah. emaciated people that you see Exactly. It's terrible. >> [laughter] >> Um that was the first thing. Second thing was in-shaped people are more prejudiced against Ozempic use than fat people are. Mhm. So, you could imagine in one world that somebody who is bigger in body would be less supporting of Ozempic because maybe it's like the erasure of their culture, people who are in it would be leaving, but I don't think that that's the case. I think that it's people who are already in shape that have the greatest pushback because in evolutionary psychology there are cheap and costly signals. So a reliable signal that what you do show is what you actually mean to show and you can't fake it. It's why a fake Rolex is a less reliable signal than a real Rolex or something that's harder to fake like a Ferrari is a better signal than a Rolex cuz the Rolex you can get counterfeit, the Ferrari's really hard to get counterfeit or the big house, right? Or Um so people who use Ozempic to go up anybody who loses weight now might have done it with Ozempic. Might have done it naturally, but they might have done it with Ozempic. And our first thought as a society is to say, oh Ozempic. Exactly. So that means the people who have had to use old-school adult fuel in order to get themselves into shape. It's like, well, I worked really hard to do this and you just got to get a prescription and now for whatever 500 bucks a month, you're cheating and you're getting to do what I had to do the hard way. I had to do it the hard way. So it's the people who are in shape and I'm aware that people who lose weight through Ozempic don't end up in shape necessarily. You need to change your habits, you need to do weight training a lot or else you're going to lose bone mass and muscle mass and rah rah rah, but I think you can objectively say that someone going from 300 lb to 180 lb like 180 lb even if it's skinny fat and all the rest of it you in clothes like, wow, look at this transformation. How fantastic. Uh that means the people who are already in shape have their identity threatened more by the introduction of new people into their cohort than fat people do of people being taken out of their cohort. But I have seen more outrage from the body positivity group. Okay. >> And even pre Ozempic really taking hold, it was like a sign of betrayal when one of them >> Mhm. like made their life change. There is a influencer I'm forgetting her last name, her name is Remi. But she was always overweight, a you know, body positivity girl. Her she blew up for doing like outfit try-ons. Like I'm going to try all these things for Abercrombie that are really trending, I'm going to try them on my body and we're going to laugh and you know, we're going to talk about how none of these none of these companies make clothes for me. That's why she blew up. She was in this relationship had a heartbreaking breakup. They were together for like 7 years. She kind of went offline for a while. She came back totally skinny, looked really different. >> Avocado'd it. >> Yes, yeah. She's the female [laughter] Nikocado Avocado. >> Yeah, a little less abrasive in that she didn't have the pre-recorded videos or anything like that, but she definitely took a step back, didn't show us that she didn't talk about it at all, didn't address it. And the outrage was so insane. It was like the quintessential like female hatred of just like the claws came out in that like passive aggressiveness. Like, oh, it's well so great that you can do that. Some of us in our larger bodies we can't do that. Whatever. And it's like, is anybody is anybody else feel so betrayed that she built this brand and we paid all of her bills and now she owns this home in the Hamptons and now she's skinny on our backs, on our body positivity, you know, backs, whatever it is. I see more of that than people who are in shape, but I do as somebody who stays in shape, I understand that. But the majority of the outrage that I've seen just on social media has been from the betrayal from the body positivity group. >> Yeah, so you're abandoning us and you capitalized on it. That being said, it's really interesting you used the word well, it's all right for you dot dot dot and this is where I think just like licking a finger and putting it in the air culturally, I think you're going to see more people from the body positivity community not having that response >> Mhm. because anybody who has the desire to now get skinny >> Yeah. It's accessible. and is prepared to go through whatever risks are or are not there that a sort of real or imagined with regards to using weight loss drugs, they can access it. And this is the the point I was making about the Adele thing. I think Adele may have got even more pushback because her transformation felt even more out of reach. Oh, absolutely. Yes. And I think we're if in the in the scope of what you're saying I think that we're going to quickly get to the point of now we have all the in shape people who are worried about, you know >> Being fat is a choice. Yes, exactly. >> a choice. Yeah, exactly. And I think we're in this transformation now because the Remi story, Adele even Lizzo from earlier this year I I'm sure that that will begin to change. Those are all stories from 6 months to a year and a half ago when it was a little less common and now everybody and their mother can go get a GLP-1 shot. The It is a choice. the hypocrisy thing of you made this position and now you've reversed this position. Didn't hasn't Alex Cooper come out recently in support of support of something to do with relationships like you should be monogamous, you shouldn't have casual sex. Did this not happen recently? Yes. She had something was even like 4 days ago or 5 days ago where she did a I should have watched it and prep for this, but now she it was one of her sit-down like straight to camera talking to her daddy gang. Um and it was talking about what to look for, I believe in a partner. Mhm. And why I think a why her mind changed about being married and what to look for. Well, that And she's already publicly changed her mind about I mean, she changed her mind by getting married. That was radical in and of itself. We talked about that the last time I was on. Um [clears throat] and then she had a few months ago where she talked about wanting children and then she kind of took a step back cuz she didn't want to sacrifice her life. Um it's like she's inching she's inching there. One step one step at a time she does seem like she's moving in that way. Yeah, the But there always has to be the caveat like for her audience of I guess I don't know if caveat is the right word, but >> Disclaimer type thing. >> Yes. Well, I'm not like >> telling you yet. I'm not saying >> It's this land acknowledgement. It's this social land acknowledgement that you need to do before. Look, I I I think the last time that I was on I I did throw my toys out of the pram about the Alex Cooper thing and I've had time to reflect um on my on my behavior. Uh It must be very difficult. This is my diplomacy coming in. It must be very difficult to hold a position ardently and maybe it was wrong at the time or maybe you disagree with it or maybe you're going to regret it later. The ability to U-turn on that is really tough and navigating that is hard because if you plant your flag in the ground really firmly and for firmly you could see that as a >> [sighs and gasps] >> a euphemism for like ardent, consistent and like vociferous. Like I'm militant about what I'm saying here. >> And for years. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, consistently. Uh then going I don't know if I believe that anymore is really hard and one of the reasons that it's seductive is that people who have certainty online always sound like experts. We confuse certainty for expertise. So if someone goes like, this is what's true and we know it and so and so forth. Everyone around is like well, I I have self-doubt about everything. The this person that's saying that this is absolutely the way that you should glug glug 5000, you should give sleep with him and not catch feels. This is a glug glug glug. And you're like okay. And she's hot and she's successful. That must be the route to being hot and successful. Everybody wants that. She doesn't seem to be getting a heartbroken all the rest of it and then life comes along as a young woman and delivers you the thing that you probably in many ways were looking for as like a hopeless romantic. Like you were obsessed with romance. It was just a particular flavor of it and it was one that kept your heart safe. And it was by never fully investing yourself and then some guys come along and congratulations for him, he's taken a [ __ ] pickaxe and like hacked away at this shell that you've created around yourself and now you've cracked open and now you're like, oh [ __ ] Yeah. What I said isn't what I believe now and everybody goes on these journeys and changes and trajectories. Um The problem is how you navigate that and I think like owning it and and what that means like identifying that you're wrong is tough. It's tough to navigate. So I'm you know, if And I think it's taken her she I think got married a year ago a little more than a year ago and she feels like she's finally coming around. And it's interesting cuz you can watch how her brand how she I in my opinion she's intentionally tried to shift her brand since being in a serious relationship and getting married where she's created this unwell network. Mhm. So she still has Call Her Daddy, it's now an interview show. And they'll talk about sex and her, you know, guests' crazy sex lives, whatever it may be, but it's less about her. Mhm. Well, her hubby's not going to be too happy if you come on and start talking about your past sexual exploits. >> Yes, well, she still does, but it's but it's more it's rare and it's toned down. But now she's built this umbrella and she's brought other podcasters into fill those gaps. She has this girl Haley, her name starts with a B, Belcher or something like that, who now is the new like Alex Cooper crazy party girl. Like her first intro was like, here's a threesome that I had that I told my dad about. Like all of this stuff like it's so shock value insane. And it's not successful. Because people wanted Alex. They wanted her. They fell in love with her and her relatability. Yeah, they don't want this new other blonde chick that looks like her. And I think that she's done a good job of pivoting into doing interviews. She obviously is her successful. She has her huge SiriusXM deal. She's building an incredible empire. But I think her audience has noticed that shift and she has like intentionally tried to fill that hole rather than just saying hey so I've changed my mind about a few things and I'm going to take you along with that. It was very evident that when she got engaged she was like I've been so afraid to tell you. I feel I again >> So I feel for her in that regard. No, me too. Me too. And and >> [sighs] >> the line between you should have known this earlier seen this earlier and just hypocrisy or uh like contrived um not negligence but like purposeful obfuscation like I I get it. I get it. It must be [ __ ] rough to be like oh [ __ ] This like amazing guy has turned my worldview upside down and I've got all of these people hanging on my every word and I've created this version of me that's incompatible. And even the the dating thing like for the girls out there who kind of a from the Call Her Daddy like fan club um that growth because you you tend to join someone at the stage of their journey that you're at as well and you start to move with them. Uh they must look back at their journey too and see that tracking. Also, I know that the people that listen to Modern Wisdom are like that. Like these guys that were like hustle and grind set 5 years ago and have been listening since then and now they're like trying to like connect with my emotions a little bit more. I really want to settle down and find a partner. I'm starting to learn about fatherhood. Like I care about my community. It's like it's less about me. It's more about prosocial stuff. And if you still have this big expectation from an audience to show up in a way and I again for the girls that are listening, there is no quicker way for you to put yourself out of the camp of long-term viable prospect than to talk about your sexual exploits from the past. >> Yes. It immediately puts you into a particular category of non-serious girl because it takes a very particular type of guy to want that in his future partner and his future >> that I was going to say as well is that it's unfortunate because Alex is now saying in a way like you know maybe I was wrong about these things. I've yeah I'm taking my life in a different direction. I said I was never going to get married. I am. But she isn't completely disavowing the messages that she sent out to young women because if you look at her life it worked. >> true at the time. Yeah and she did all those things. She had her sexual exploits. She talked about the Glock Glock 5000 whatever it is, you know, use men, spit them out, all of that stuff, you know, date like men, play the games and she still got married. Yeah. And she's rich and she's successful and she has an attractive husband and she's got that. Yeah. Well, I mean one in however many million can do it. Because that's a rare guy and she is a rare individual and so for her Fascinating. Yeah. Um this is just now the Alex Cooper uh show. Uh we just like to check in. But I think she's I think she's a really important uh uh like tip of the spear of what's going on with young women and if if nothing else it should be pretty endemic of well, someone that was kind of like the canonical role model for the sleep with them and not catch feels like young party girl archetype goes through a transformation. So given that that's where you're going to end up on average if you're you know, the example, the superhero of that world can you shortcut it? Like can you can you get some like Brett Cooper into you at 23 as opposed to having to go through the full Alex Cooper arc? In other news, you've probably heard me talk about Element before and that is because I'm frankly dependent on it for the last forever in my life. I've started every single day the same way which is with this in a cold glass of water. Element is electrolytes. It's got no BS in it. It's got everything that you need and nothing that you don't. It's scientifically backed levels, sodium, potassium and magnesium at the perfect ratio with no sugar or artificial ingredients or any other junk. Plays a critical role in reducing muscle cramps and fatigue. It optimizes your brain health, regulates your appetite, curbs your cravings and this stuff in a cold glass of water is like a sweet salty orangey nectar that I look forward to every single day and I genuinely feel the difference when I take it versus when I don't which is why I keep talking about it and why you need to try it. Best of all, there's a no questions asked refund policy with an unlimited duration so you can buy it completely risk-free, try it for as long as you want. If you don't like it for any reason, they just give you your money back. Plus they offer free shipping in the US. Right now, you can get a free sample pack of Element's most popular flavors with your first purchase and that money back guarantee by going to the link in the description below or heading to drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom. That's drinklmnt.com/ modernwisdom. Have you heard Kelsea Ballerini's new song? No, what's that? Who's that? >> Okay, so Kelsea Ballerini um she had her EP Roll Up the Welcome Mat, country singer. She's from Tennessee. Um she went through a divorce in 2022. Uh I believe her husband was Morgan Evans. They got married young. They had a very very public breakup and she wrote an EP about it that basically exploded her career. And she was always like a relatively okay well-known country singer. Like I listened to her growing up but she was nothing huge. This took her mainstream. She wrote an incredibly raw EP about her divorce. And in one song, I think it was blind side, blind spot, something like that. She talks about one of the reasons for their divorce was that he was ready to settle down and have kids. He's 7 years older than her and she wasn't and she wanted to focus on her career. And he had had a bit more of a successful career at the beginning of their marriage. She was you know, sort of catching up. She was not ready for that. And they publicly talked about this. She gave interviews. She actually went on Call Her Daddy and she said the children conversation was it. And they apparently went out to dinner and she told her then husband my 30th birthday present to myself and us is going to be I'm going to freeze my eggs cuz I know I'm not ready but I know you want to have kids and I'm going to freeze my eggs. And her husband was like absolutely not. Like I want to have children now. I am ready to settle down. So they split up. So she was 30, he was 37. >> so. Yes. Uh she was 29 about to turn 30 when they got divorced. And it also seems like maybe they weren't super compatible. There were other things there but that was the crux. So now she's had this incredible success. It has been this wild ride. She's dating the guy from Outer Banks. They had this like you know, fairy tale love story. She's writing all these songs about him. She's winning all of these awards. She's very much in like the she's just like exploded out of Nashville country and now she is extremely mainstream. She released a surprise single 5 days ago called I Sit in Parks. And the entire story there is that she goes with the song says she goes and she sit sits in parks and she watches families have picnics and play with their kids swinging on swings and she's sitting there hitting her vape and saying she literally talks about that and saying I want that and is is it too late? How old is she now? 33. Um is she still with the guy? This new guy? This guy? Yeah. Um they almost they broke up but then they got back together. It was this whole thing. They were spotted in Yeah, so yeah. Tumultuous [ __ ] It's not the same as being in a relationship with a guy that you were going to get married to. They were but it seemed but they were for like 2 and 1/2 years and then they had a bit of a breakup. Now it seems like they might be back together. But she released the song and she's saying I sit in parks and I wonder if this mom wants my freedom like I want to be a mother and I wonder if it's too late. And she says Rolling Stone says that I'm on the right path but I wonder if I've you know, sacrificed my future. And then at the end she's kind of like oh well, this is the life that I've created for myself. She goes my friend is due in March, my album's due in April. So I'll go refill my Lexapro and I'll get back to work. And it is so incredibly raw but it's the timeline of that that she was divorced only 3 years ago because she wasn't ready to have kids. She had this mountain of success, everything that she wanted and now she's sitting here and going [ __ ] Like it did did I did I wait too long? And I'm guessing that she wrote this when she and the boyfriend were on a break whatever it was. But the women who are relating to that, if you look on social media, the success of the song, I mean the comments are heartbreaking. It's all these women going I don't know if I made the right decision. I thought I did all the right things. I focused on my career. I've emphasized, you know, that. I haven't found a independence, financial security. >> Yeah. Look, I mean it's kind of tried to say it because it's been I've I've talked about it so much so have you. Um but I do think we're getting into a slight new era now which is asking the question is there a way to shortcut the unteachable lesson of financial independence will not give you the sense of belonging that you want as a young woman. Um and I understand that it feels very safe and secure rather than having yourself be a financial prisoner of some guy. I mean women outearn men up to the age of like 30 or 31 still at the moment by a couple of grand a year. So I think that's really an issue at least to that point. That's a something they're concocting up in their minds. To a degree, yeah. Um or that you wouldn't be able to go back to work, you wouldn't be able to go back to your career. I think that that paternity problem I maternity leave, I get it. All of all of those issues. But asking yourself the question like is it actually worth it to avoid the very thing that most women have been working towards. Like what's the financial independence for? Just to like Chelsea Handler your way through the rest of life? I don't think that that's the case. It's an FU to men. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I'm going to It's saying I don't need you. Well, it's it's assuring your failure privately to be able to stick the middle finger up up at men publicly. Um yeah, I don't need you. I I will be a miserable flag bearer for this movement. Uh but it's just it's a really unpopular perspective to take. So the fact that the comments were sort of with other women who had done the same thing, but the It's kind of the same as um being body positive. It's like it's toxic empathy. But, it's the optics of this argument are much more sexy than the reality of it. >> Mhm. Right? The optics of the argument are um you don't need a man. You are enough as you are already. You don't need to wait to be chosen by him. In fact, you don't need to be chosen at all. You and your friends and your girlies and your vibrator are enough to get you through the next however many decades of your life. And maybe he'll come along, but if he doesn't, you don't need to worry. And like that is a really supportive and caring message if you take it without the sort of militant anti-men perspective on it, which is you are enough as you are. And wouldn't that be a wonderful place to get into a relationship from as opposed to one from desperation? >> it with somebody. Yeah, and also that you don't make the the sort of decision out of uh desperation. Like, I'm going to pick this person because I want a person, not because I want that person. >> Yeah. Uh understood. That doesn't tend to be the way that it's delivered. I saw this I went on to the uh child-free subreddit. >> That's a that's a dark place. When uh Taylor Swift got engaged. Meltdown. They were not happy. And there was some I was like really impressed with most of the balance on there. There was some insane ones. One of the most insane ones was basically like, I can't believe that she would get into a relationship with that monster, that animal. Like, referring because it made me the way that he presents or what they think about his politics or whatever it might be. Um but yeah, people in the same way as Adele's weight loss was a threat to the body positivity community, Taylor Swift's engagement was a threat to the child-free community. >> Oh, it absolutely was. Um And the fact that now all these things are coming out saying, "Oh, they're going to get married relatively quickly. Allegedly, they want to start a family. That's really important." But, I also think and this is something that was so funny to me is I talked about this, obviously, and I was, you know, reading those same comments and the same posts, and they were outlandish and absurd, but if you look at Taylor Swift's discography, you look at her music, everything she's written, she always wanted >> She's a romantic. >> She is. Like, that's the thing. And they were like, "She's betrayed us." I'm like, I don't think she has. She's People mocked her for years because she went for boyfriend to boyfriend, but she wasn't in She didn't have any flings. Like, she was wholeheartedly in love with these guys, writing these songs, "I'm going to marry you. I'd marry you with paper rings. I'm still thinking about you all these years later." >> Mhm. That's what she wants. It's like, have you not actually been listening to her music? Have you just liked the fact that she I think that's what it comes down to is have you liked the fact that she has been so unlucky in love >> Yes. and it has made you feel better about your situation, and that has validated your choice. Yeah. And now, you have to face the music, literally, that she's happy and she's finally gotten what she wants. And I I think another thing that we've entered this conversation about women is something that I do think that has been harmful coming from more of the right wing is this like women hit a wall conversation. Mhm. Obviously, there is a biological clock that you have to consider, but saying that a woman at 30 years old has peaked, has no future, no prospects, can never have any children anymore, I think that's such a harmful thing to tell young women, especially if you're having if you have a woman who's come up in the era of, you know, the child-free type folks, of the Alex Coopers, who then is having her mind change and is looking for something, and what she's hearing from so many prominent men male voices, I think they're less prominent now. Um Is it you're too old, you've hit a wall, you're ugly, nobody will ever want you, you've screwed up your entire life. >> Mhm. It's like, that's not the way to address that. And I think Taylor Swift was kind of a middle finger to that movement as well, because she's 33 years old. >> one of the most eligible bachelors in America. Yeah. And she's happy, and it worked. And I look at, you know, Kelsea Ballerini, and I understand, you know, at 33 years old, she's going, "Ugh, this is, you know, I don't have much time left." But, in 10 years, obviously, don't waste those, but it's not like you're 50 It's I will be >> you should be I think you should be cautious about the 10 years thing. Uh I think I guess with Fertility treatments are great, but even they are not they're not magic. And they're >> I think it comes from personal My mom had me at 42. Yes. Yeah, my my my my mom had me relatively late as well. Uh but, still >> on a decline. Correct. Um I I get the sense that and this is my least impressive strategy to fix the birth rate. Uh I think that Taylor Swift will have a non-zero impact on the West's birth rate. Okay. Like, I think when she has if if she has kids, uh I think that that causes a cascade of sufficient size that there will be a noticeable bump if you were to look at the the sort of demographics of that. I think the sort of 2 3 4 years after that, I think you are going to see a tick Yeah. in that um Well, and culture is shifting. I mean, you have, you know, her. You have Kelsea Ballerini. Um Millie Bobby Brown got married very young to Jake Bongiovi, and they just adopted a baby less than a year after getting married. And she's very open about, you know, this is everything she's ever wanted. She's incredibly happy. She's practic- you know, protecting this baby girl's privacy. Um Timothée Chalamet very recently was saying that he feels How what was he was like he feels like it's I'm trying to remember the exact word he used, but basically he was saying that it is very depressing when people talk about not wanting children, and he's surrounded by a lot of people who do have children and are starting families, and he thinks that's really wonderful. And he was essentially saying, "I think it's a marker of a very sad society if we are now saying that it's empowering to state that you're not going to have children, and that you don't care." So, we're seeing these shifts, and I think that's one thing where I think conservatives are better at this now, but where they've said, you know, "Ignore pop culture. We're not going to be involved in that." It's like, "No, they these people do influence culture. They influence society. They influence the attitudes, especially of young women, who are far more emotional and who lean on these figures. That's just an objective fact. Um who are more um emotionally swayed. Those are important changes, and I think those are worth celebrating and looking into. So, I've had some people when I've done episodes about that or talked about it, they say like, "But, it doesn't matter." I'm like, "No, it does matter." >> Mhm. I think this is where country music, speaking of which we're in Nashville, there's a a Dylan Scott song uh "Can't Have Mine." Find you Find you a girl. >> Uh find you a girl that leaves you speechless, gets wild on the town, but still loves Jesus. One that's worth the wait even when she ain't on time. Find you a girl that loves her daddy, and talking about babies makes her happy. Yeah, take it from me, that's the kind you need to find. You just can't have mine. It's like, I think country music is sort of still, you know, like holding the the fort for the the pro-family stuff, but uh I'm I'm interested since last time that we spoke. You're a mom. Yes. How's that changed you? Oh, it's amazing. Um the first thing that comes to mind is that I give less of a [ __ ] about things now. I think it radicalizes you in a way because so many other things in life seem less meaningful because you have this incredible life that you've created. And it truly and I I would hear people say this after they have kids, and I'd go, "Okay, I mean, I understand it." But, really, when you've created this life, and when this baby comes out of you and is, you know, placed on your chest. Granted, I didn't have this feeling the moment that he was on my chest. I was like in shock. But, when you bring your baby home and you are settling in, and you look at this life that you've created, it's like this is the only thing that matters. And for me, that has not transpired in a I am only going to be at home, and I'm going to focus on you 100% of the time. I think it's fueled into a lot of my work and the things that I've I talk about because it's like, "Okay, well, now I have this child, and I want to make this world as incredible as possible for him. I want him to grow up in a world where he can debate ideas and where free speech is celebrated. I want him to grow up in a world where he can start a family and own a home and be financially empowered. Um I want him to have a great girl to fall in love with and marry. I want all of those things. So, what can I do to try to make that happen with the platform that I have? And so, I think it's given me a fire under my ass in that regard. Um I think it's softened me even more so than getting married has. Did you find yourself having masculine traits more masculine traits than the typical woman? >> yes, for sure. I've always been very tomboyish and very like, I can do this myself. I don't need you. Mhm. And Which broke that more? The I would say yeah, marriage. >> Marriage was the >> That was the that was the breaking of the dam. Right, yeah. And then, you become so vulnerable postpartum when you have, you know, this child, and your hormones are just completely out of whack. The first 2 weeks are so hard. At least they were for me. Um And you just feel broken open. You literally have been broken open. And you have this life you're trying your hardest to protect. Like, I just want to keep you alive. And you have to rely on other people. You can't do it all yourself. I think that's why it's so damaging. This has been going on for decades at this point. Telling women that you can have it all at the same time. You can have the best career and the best sex life and the best marriage, and you can be the mother, and you can travel, and you can do all of the things all at once. That's the feminist messaging that started in the '80s. It's such a a lie. You can have a lot. You can have most things in life. You can't have them all at once. It's about priorities, and you do have to make sacrifices. You have to lean on other people. You have to admit you can't give 150% to everything at once. Um And I knew that, but then actually being in the throes of that was eye-opening, and I think there's a lot of humility and surrendering, and um No, it's been wonderful. It's hard, but it's incredible, and I think I'm having more fun than I've ever had. Like, it's it's so incredible. Like, you have this silly little baby who just like babbles at you and laughs at you and is following everything that you do and is tracking you. Every single day there's something new that they're doing. It's like he's started like cooing now and he's trying to like mimic the things that we say. And he'll, you know, grab onto Alex's finger and we're like, "Oh my god, take a picture. This is so incredible." Um it just puts so many things into perspective. It was everything that I hoped it would be. I wonder how much of what we're seeing with um purposelessness, uh the chasing of random, some may say sort of seemingly seemingly pointless hobbies and and and business pursuits and hustle and grind mindset and all the rest of it. Is that child-rearing energy just being directed Oh, completely. >> just something where there isn't a child around to be able to do it. Uh I certainly I think that's one of the things that people see when somebody's got, you know, kids and and maybe grandkids, too, but are still playing the high school status game thing chasing the next business deal like really really aggressively, not just because they want to build a better business, but because it like sort of fills their soul and you go, >> [gasps and sighs] >> "Are you you scored a goal and didn't realize that you'd won the game?" Yeah. >> Like you you're looking past the thing that was the reason for doing the stuff and you're still doing the stuff. Like you've run past the goalpost and you just haven't stopped. Um and there's something particularly like it it feels sad to see someone who basically got one-shotted in high school into playing the same status games for the rest of their life uh and didn't realize that you were already outside of them because the person that's 10 ft above you in the next bedroom that they don't care. They think that you're a superhero. >> Yeah. Uh says the guy that's uh unmarried without kids at the moment. >> [laughter] >> Um Have you heard of laying in? Do you know what this is from medieval times? Is that like the 40 days postpartum? Yes. Yeah. >> me think about that. Uh in medieval times laying in was a 40-day postpartum confinement period >> Yes. where a mother rested in a special room surrounded by women while her husband and male family members were excluded. This period was crucial for recovery and was followed by a churching ceremony which marked the mother's reintegration into public life. And uh the like frankly [ __ ] barbaric maternity leave Oh, yeah. in America. It's like 9 months in the UK end to end, which is still not enough, but is a little bit better. At least you can get your [ __ ] lying in period lying in period >> sorted. But it made me think about you said that, you know, the 2 weeks after. I'm like, you know, I I Oh. >> I'm as useless as he is. Yes. Um Um physically, emotionally, you don't even know. I mean, I felt like I was in a daze. It's kind of good I think biologically you kind of forget it. Like the further away from it I get, I'm like, "Oh, it's it was fine." But in the middle of it like I genuinely, I haven't actually said this, but in the first few days after he was born, I wondered whether we had made the right decision in having a baby at that moment. What was the emotion that you were feeling? Just com- just being so overwhelmed. Being in pain and uncomfortable and being like I couldn't you know, you your baby just wants to be fed, wants to be held, needs to poop, needs to sleep. But it's, you know, they can't communicate. So it's trying It's like, "Okay, I'm going to try all these different things. Like what do you need?" And it was It was after a very particularly like frustrating afternoon. And I was in pain, I was engorged, I was uncomfortable. I was standing in the shower and um it was like your one place of peace. I was like, "Alex, okay, I'm going to go give me 30 minutes and hopefully he doesn't cry and need me." Mhm. Cuz I wasn't pumping, so literally he just required everything and I was standing in the shower and I was like, "I have never felt so overstimulated and over touched and exhausted." That was something I didn't expect where it was Especially given that you've already had the chaotic life business lady >> that is what >> stage rah rah rah. >> Yeah. That just being And I expected I I almost felt guilty because I was like, "I've always wanted this and I want this baby to want me and I want to hold him and be with him." But after 5 days of basically having 30 minutes of not touching him or not having somebody touch me it was like, "Can I just go sit at a coffee shop for like an hour and just drink a matcha and decompress for a second?" Um so that was surprising to me, but thankfully it didn't last. I think that's a cool lesson just to interject there. I think it's a like a cool lesson to hear that you can not like your baby for half an hour [laughter] in the shower. You can be like, "Dude, you [ __ ] suck today. I I still love you. I don't love you any less, but I'm I don't like you right now and you've been a lot today, okay? You've been a lot." >> hard because I think in a really great, beautiful way, and I understand the reason for this, you know, some of these people, especially more traditional, conservative right, will say it is this magical thing. Breastfeeding is so magical, all these things. And it is and it's wonderful and it's remarkable. But when you were in the throes of it, it's something like, "This is like my body's going through a lot and this is hard." >> deny the reality of discomfort. You know? And the part of what makes it so incredible is because you are sacrificing and because you're doing something that's so incredibly hard for the benefit of this tiny human that can't live without you. Um but to just say that it's all rainbows and sunshine and that it's going to immediately or immediately going to be insane and it's immediately going to be so wonderful that was just more of a shock to my system. I mean, even like right when he came out, there's a photo of Alex and I as he was like placed on my chest. We're looking at him and it's kind of like in horror cuz, you know, their heads come out and they're kind of in a cone shape and he's all blue uh cuz he had a kind of struggled at the end there. Both of us were like, "Oh my god." Like it was [laughter] just like, "Oh, he's here. Like this is crazy." Yeah. Um but it was not the like really romantic like, "Oh, this is wonderful." But no, the sacrifices and the hardships are I think actually what gets me through those harder moments because you know that it's worthwhile. You know you're you're doing something that is, you know, in pursuit of you know, you're molding like there isn't anything that is uh more valuable than that. Well, I can extol the virtues of VO2 max training all I want. >> Mhm. During the middle of a workout nobody wants to be there. >> No. >> Nobody is enjoying it and the fact that nobody is enjoying it is exactly what makes it meaningful, right? You realize that there are very few things that are worthwhile having or that are meaningful that aren't hard to get. If it was super easy and seamless to raise the child, that'd be wonderful and beautiful and convenient. >> Yeah. But there would be less meaning in it because the meaning is derived from the struggle. It's a great idea from Freud. He says it, "In retrospect, the struggle will strike you as most beautiful." Yeah. And that is where the meaning comes from because if it was easy, you would have to put less of yourself into it, right? Because you would be dis- "Oh, well, you know, what? I can just answer a few emails over here." It's like, "No, no, no, no." 23.5 [snorts] hours of this day is completely dedicated >> Uh yeah, all I do is like do not die. Like for the [ __ ] for [ __ ] sake, do not die. I've worked so hard. Yeah. Um and >> And going back to the maternity leave issue you know, some people in America will get you know, 30 days, 3 months. We're coming up on 3 months and I'm in a very unique position where my studio where I film is 5 minutes from my house. I drive the four-wheeler over there and I go shoot. I'm like filming on my phone right now. I don't even have a producer. Yeah, I've been watching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um and I'm because I'm just doing it myself because I wanted to be able to be on his schedule and I'm very very fortunate to be able to do that. That is not the case for most women and I'm very aware of that. Um and so I would not have been able if I was still working for a company where I'm on somebody else's schedule that would not I would not be able to be doing this. Um and I did, but the 40-day lying I did, I guess it's probably the Americanized version of it because they know what it is. I did the yeah, the race. But no, it's the 5-5-5. So it's 5 days in bed. You're fully in bed in the covers. 5 days on your bed. So you're really not leaving. Like you only get up to like go to the bathroom, grab some food. You're not lifting every anything. You're not doing anything. Um and then 5 days near your bed. So you're not really going out into How did this feel for the hyper-independent, driven boss ladies? Mhm. How I know that you were able that you were able to go back to work >> Mhm. more quickly or whatever, but those 15 days, that's a big change. Oh, yeah. Right? What was the internal uh hungry ghosts drive >> extremely hard. Talk to me about that. That need for productivity during pregnancy and post-pregnancy. Yes, especially because I'd been so productive throughout my entire pregnancy. Found out I was pregnant 4 4 days after it was announced that I was leaving Daily Wire. So then my entire pregnancy was starting a business, building a show, hire people, figure out how to hire people, figure out how to assemble a business, find advertisers, do an entire tour, pitch different things, get all of these projects under my belt so that then I could have this baby. And we're going to do all of this in like the 9 and 1/2 months that we have. So it was a sprint. And so to go up against that wall and then again have to completely surrender and be so vulnerable, it was very hard. I remember my mom talking to me um very delicately before I gave birth and she was really the one who pushed me to do that. And and I didn't I probably could have done it better. I could have stayed in bed more. Um but I think I did a pretty good job for me. Um and she was like this is probably going to be one of the hardest things that you do. It might even be harder than you actually delivering the baby is that you have to just give your time yourself time to rest cuz the wound when your uterus contracts when you're you deliver your placenta placenta it's like this big that you just have a gaping wound in your stomach. Um and you need time to heal and you need to not be pushing your body and she sat me down and was like you need to do this for yourself because you have so many things that you need to do afterward you have this huge life and you have commitments that you've made and you are not going to be able to function at the level that you want to function at and be the wife that you want to be and the mom and keep working if you do not give yourself time to actually heal. And so I was very grateful that she had that conversation but it was really hard. I'm just not used to that. I'm so go go go go go and the thing is I did do a little bit of work which was not intended but Charlie was assassinated four days after her baby was born. And I mean that was just horrifying in and of itself but to be so emotionally and hormonally fraught already it was just like I don't even know how to it's all just a blur at this point. Um but I got up and I did two episodes about it. Granted I went upstairs to our guest bedroom and sat in front of a window and didn't have a script or do anything and I just talked and then immediately went back downstairs and I was away from him for about 10 minutes in total. Um but I did I guess emotional and intellectual labor in that regard but no it was it was very it was hard. And I can't imagine I mean I have friends that have had babies around the same time that I have and the sacrifices that they're making the decisions that they're making about their careers and whether they're going to go back to work and how they're going to go back to work and what daycare looks like and weaning and breastfeeding it is very very difficult but I think people again especially on the right in more of a in an effort to just say you know we need to fix the birth rate everybody should have babies it's so incredible it's so wonderful I think they focus on just like have a baby do it do it do it do it without really getting into the logistics of what that looks like for most women. Most women work in America. Most women need to work in America or want to work which is great. Majority of women even if you argue that it would be better if they were completely at home and didn't work they are going to be working. They don't have any choice. And so what is that going or they want to which is you know totally valid. What is that going to look like for them and what kind of support do we have for them? Um that's something that actually I think JD can do a great job at if he runs is that he's a bit more populist in that regard and he's very pro-family. And even though I lean more in the direction of I kind of want the government hands off let the free market decide I do think it's like what can we do for families? So if we're saying we need to increase the birth rate if we want people to get married and live happy lives and have children and raise good productive you know members of society what can we do to support that rather than just saying just quit your job. Everything's great just have they figure it out. Uh cuz it is hard. And I don't again I don't know what the right solution is for that. So many countries have tried different things of you know we're going to give you a little bit of money here. >> Tax break. >> So that none of them have been supremely successful. Um possibly because it does come back to cultural attitudes. You know what that's why we need Taylor Swift. Exactly. There was this really cool example the country of Georgia Mhm. uh I think is highly Christian and there is this pastor there who is like the rock star rock star pastor. Everybody loves him adores him um and they had a cultural intervention for the birth rate which worked. And what he said was I will personally baptize the third child of any family. And then there was literally this speed run race for all families to have. Um another interesting one you were talking earlier on about uh young people who do everything that the government told them that they should do and that their elders told them they should do and have now arrived in this world and gone oh [ __ ] like the the the future that I was promised hasn't come to pass. This is one of the explanations that I've heard which is really interesting for why South Korea's birth rate is so low. So what they had was they allowed women to get into education uh without some of the constraints and ceilings that had been placed on them like uh authoritatively authoritarianly uh and culturally. Uh so they put girls into the classroom and as I think it's pretty uncontroversial to say now girls perform better in the current education model. Uh more conscientious better at sitting still less is disruptive raw raw raw like highlighter girls like very very good well done. Um and what that meant was uh from being constrained to being fully enabled they just blew past a lot of the boys. The employment world had not had the same cultural revolution that the education world had so these young girls gone through the education system maybe into higher education and then came out the other side to still find the same discrimination in employment and that was where the four B's movement at least has been contributed to which is like the four different words in Korean which are like no men no this no babies no something else no something else. No men no sex no babies no marriage whatever it is. Yeah yeah. Uh and >> heads. hardcore feminism but for South Korea. And uh that is this promise that has been made uh that is not delivered and I think the indignation that people feel of [ __ ] like I I I did what you said. Like I did what you said. I did I followed the rules and someone came and screwed me over. You just need to look at South Korea the the women in South Korea that are a part of that movement and and tangentially you know that kind of militant Like even the light version of the mild version of that um and one of the interventions that's super interesting um K-pop. So K-pop stars when they join the groups one of the agreements that they make is that they will not date and obviously as a byproduct of that they cannot get pregnant they can't have >> Interesting. a family. So you have the biggest cultural export from one country and also obviously the biggest cultural influence inside of a country never being pro-family ever. And well what does that mean? It creates it would be like if Taylor Swift made her signed away her contract at the beginning of her music career saying that she's never going to also none of the songs are around having families none of the songs are around heartbreak. Uh so an obvious cultural intervention for South Korea to fix the birth rate is allow women to get what they want in I mean you should do that in any case regardless of whether or not it's got to do with the birth rate. But then also say if you want to be a K-pop star you have to have had one child. The only way that you can become a K-pop star is to do that. >> And that's my uh campaign for South Korea to turn them into Georgia without a pastor. Excellent. >> That's my plan. And we have Taylor Swift. Yeah we do indeed. >> Fingers crossed. Uh what's next? What's next for you? Oh gosh. Try to be a good mom was the number one thing. Keep him alive. And I think keep my show going. I love what I'm doing. I have never had more fun with my work. And it took a while to get there. The last year was really hard felt really long um took a long time to get to being able to be independent and start my own thing and then it also think took a lot of stumbling around to figure out what did I actually want to do independently and what was going to work what was going to make me happy. I think I rejected initially a lot of what I had been doing cuz I was like no I'm going to walk away from this I'm not going to do this type of show. Um I wanted to do something completely different because I was unhappy. But was I unhappy with the work I was doing or was I unhappy in the situation? I just took a while to figure out and I feel like I stumbled around a bit and so I'm really grateful that I have such a wonderful community and audience who stuck with me and enjoyed the ride and yeah and we tried basically every single thing under the sun. Um and I feel really really at peace and flexible and like I have a lot of autonomy and I'm having a ton of fun being a mom I'm having a ton of fun with the work that I'm doing. I feel like it's meaningful and I'm enjoying it. I've loved doing uh live shows. It was my first time doing it this spring. I know you're on your tour right now. That was like indescribable. Slightly different. Yeah. It's incredible. >> your live show look like? What does it consist of? Um it is like a live version of my show but many topics other than just being one thing that I'm talking about. I go up on stage and I just riff on things going on in the world and some of my favorite people to talk about. Um I didn't really know what it was going to be like. I was just like let's do a tour I'm just going to get up on stage I'm going to talk. Uh but it ended up becoming more like stand-up and I feel very insecure saying that. Cuz that is like oh she's a comic. I'm like no no I don't think so. But that is sort of the format of what it's become And it's >> It's very similar to to mine. I think Justin agrees. Yeah, he agrees about what what we're both doing. Yeah, it's it's a weird one that that pivot. >> a a very Look, I understand. I I feel like I need to make this disclaimer anytime that I say it. Uh some of the things that I say on stage may make some people laugh, but I must I feel like it another land acknowledgement is important. This is not stand-up. I'm a I'm aware that that is a protected term. And if you encroach on the comedians' hallowed ground of the word stand-up because unless you've done 7 years of slumming it in gigs and all the rest of it, people don't like the idea of anyone jumping to the front of a queue. And uh >> And I would like I don't feel like I'm doing that. No. Uh but if if something if something that you say makes someone laugh You're just having fun. You're talking to your audience and No, it's really special. I don't know how you feel about it, but when you've spent So, I was I've been on YouTube now for three or four years. And when you spend those years looking at numbers and saying like, "Oh, okay, this many people watch this." And, you know, "Oh, I had 4 million subscribers at this point." And you have all of these, you know, numbers, but actually seeing people in person and putting faces to numbers, that's what I like to say. And doing like the meet and greets at the end and >> It's like indescribable. And it's It's like very gratifying, too, when I meet the people that come to the shows and engage with my content. I'm like, "You're all great people." Like, this is really cool. Like, I'm really happy >> go for a coffee with most of my audience. Yeah, which is something that I know most most creators can't say, which is pretty cool. But, I think the the meta lesson to take away from that for anybody that's trying to do anything, build a business. Let's say that you I don't know, you have a vintage clothing store and it's online and you're sourcing all of these great pieces and you're selling them on Depop or you're doing whatever on eBay. But, you never see people in your clothes. You don't see how it gives them more confidence or how [ __ ] cool they look or all the compliments they get. And even if you do, it's this disembodied [ __ ] email or two two-D image or whatever. But, if you were to do an in-person meet-up where you would bring like this month's haul and all of these people would be able to come and it would be your super fans or or you're a PT, an online coach or whatever. Doing an in-person event, I I think for me the reason that I now understand why musicians and comedians have such an obsession with tour is that the feedback mechanism is so tight. Like this episode might go out in like 4 weeks time. And then so, the feedback period is [ __ ] a life an eon away. And then when it goes out loads of people that see it don't react to it. And of the people who react to it, they do it through comments. And then it's only if you look at the It's like so the bandwidth is Yeah, it's so minute. Whereas, you go on stage and you make a joke about a train and like that, immediately a thousand people get to get hear the noise or do something. Or you tell a story that hopefully is real engaging and it's [ __ ] just silent and everyone's paying attention. And you think, "Oh, this is really cool." So, I I understand why and I think the sort of lesson I've taken away from tour, at least this tour, is trying to inject that real world stuff into things that you do where you think, "I love what I do, but I feel like I need a bit more motivation for it." If you try and find a way to take that uh AFK, uh the sort of touch grass equivalent of that, um touch other people, but legally. Uh that would be I think a good a good way to do it. You can do more more tour? >> Yes. Yeah, next year I'm excited. Sick. All right. Bret Cooper, ladies and gentlemen. Bret, I really appreciate you. You're awesome. >> Thanks for having me. What's happening, people? Thank you for making it to the end of the Bret Cooper episode. That might be the best thing that you've achieved today. Double up. Go for the two-time world champion of watching podcasts by watching Konstantin Kisin. Great. What?