I’m taking a gap year at 28 because I have no idea what I want to do with my life

growing up like you think that like once you hit 30 that like you're done like the clock stops. >> Moving to another country, leaving everything you know, everyone you know like that is a scary [music] thing to do. >> Yeah. Oh, I was terrified. I could either stay in my comfort zone and I can like live with the regret of not trying something new or I could go full in, try something new and like deal with the potential of like failing at it and like being okay with that. any man that I've cried over in the past, there's not a single one of them that I'm not so unbelievably embarrassed that I dated, like unbelievably embarrassed. The first time that I went out by myself in London, I have never been approached by so many men [music] in my life and buying me drinks. Okay. Hi, house guests. Welcome back to my home. I'm so happy that you guys are here. This week, we have one of my oldest friends in the world coming on to the show. We have Presley. We have been friends since I was in the fourth grade. You guys are going to love her. She's actually been on the show in group settings, but we haven't done like a one-on-one episode. She is the best. I've known her since I was I think we were probably eight, nine, 10. How old are you in the fourth grade? 9 10 I don't know. That's when we met. She's one of my closest friends. I adore her. I love her. I'm obsessed with her. Everyone is. She's just the best. And as you guys are listening to this, we are on Nucket for the week, which guys, let's just all honestly take a shot every time I say Nucket. I know. But guys, this is the this is the week that makes life worth living for us. So, I want everyone to be sending us good positive energy, positive vibes. And speaking of our book club book, Five-Star Weekend, you guys have one more week to read this for our book club book, and then we'll be announcing the next one and who we're reading with, which will be another author, but we are reading Five-Star Weekend with Ellen Hilderbrand, and I will be recapping it with her live from the island. All right, we will be on Nantucket recording the house guest episode and I just cannot wait. That will be up next week, but it's going to be Nucket Central. You guys, you and I, we're moving on island for the next couple of weeks. Like that's where we're going to be mentally, spiritually, emotionally. It's kind of just going to be like everything we could ever wish for and more. Um, but anyway, today Presley has done this gap year. Well, it's really a gap summer, but I keep saying gap year because it's easier. But she and she will explain it herself, but she was feeling very lost. Like, of course, your late 20s are splintering years. It's very confusing. You're all over the place. Some people are getting married. Some people are having babies. Some people are single and nowhere close. Some people never want to have children. Some people are in their dream careers. Some people are starting over. your late 20s are just kind of I mean I think your 20s in general are rough but they're just like the splintering years where everyone's really going off into different phases of their life and it becomes kind of like oh wow what's happening here like this is definitely [gasps] it's a little bit much if you will um I don't really want to speak for her cuz she does a way better job of explaining this but I thought that having her on she quit her job she changed everything in her life she moved to London for six weeks she made she took it upon herself to get into a really cool program, which you guys will hear about in a second. Like she has really just taken life into her own hands after feeling like I think she's really felt like she was like kind of on autopilot for the past couple of years. Kept saying she was going to make a change, saying she was going to do this and then finally just woke up and was like I feel like I'm not living my life. I just I need to do this for myself. She got the courage and she did it. And we're going to talk all about that. Her gap summer, your late 20s, how everything is just kind of all over the place. And it really takes me back to my quarter life crisis that I had at 23 where you would truly believe that I was the only person in the world who had ever gone through a quarter life crisis ever. Period. You know, I just I I was like, "Oh my god, I'm so confused. I'm so whatever." And I think I just thought you had to have it all figured out because I didn't hear people saying that I they didn't have it figured out, you know? So, I was like, "I don't know what's happening here." It really brought me back. Um, might I recommend The Defining Decade for you guys? And listen, I also don't even think the defining decade. Here's what you need to know from the defining decade. Because if you're in your late 20s, maybe not the book to read, okay? [gasps] What you need to know is Identity Capital. We talk about this on the show all the time. That's where I got the concept from was from the book The Defining Decade. But it's the idea that you don't find yourself, you create yourself, and you're creative of all these little like identity capital, small little like hobbies and things you love and interests and like the ways that you create your life. And I think Presley is such a good example of someone who's really in the midst of doing that in such a like cool way to watch. And I know I have felt how she felt so many times. I know so many of you guys feel this way constantly. Like we've all been there probably 15 times. So I think everything she's saying is very inspiring and motivating. And if you need that push to like make the change, if you feel like you're on autopilot, like you're living life by someone else's standards and someone else's dreams and someone else's whatever it might be, this is the episode for you. This is what you need. Okay, guys. Um, also I feel like do I need to share some things? I do. I do. I have some housekeeping on here. Nangtuck collection went live this week on shopfriend.com. Beautiful, beautiful items. Go check that out on shopfriend.com as you guys know. Oh my god. And I'm so good at this whole housekeeping thing. I already told you guys that we're on Inteka this week. Ellen is coming up and you guys better get your book done. Okay. Um, but I did think it would be helpful to make a download for you guys of things that really helped me through my quarter life crisis cuz I've got specific um, books like I mentioned one of them. I have specific podcast episodes. I have specific like ideas, things I'm going to gather together a dock. And if you're like, "Okay, I need like tangible things." Presley mentioned a ton in this episode, like how you can listen to podcasts and like read books and like get all of these like different resources to learn like if you're trying to change your career path, you're trying to do that. So, I'm going to compile a list of things because this is so up my alley of like stuff that I like. I'm also going to ask Presley if she's interested in like sharing some of the stuff that she's liked or has resonated with her. I'm going to form this doc for you guys and it's going to be available as a download at the description. All you have to do is put your email in. will have it emailed to you immediately. Um, but I'm putting together like a quarter life crisis basically like survival pack of all of the resources that I felt like were really helpful. The Susie Welch course, which we talked about on today's episode, everything. I'm getting it all organized for you guys. You guys know I love a download. I love love love a download. They're just the best. But anyway, without further ado, I hope you guys enjoy this episode. I love you guys. I just I don't even have much to say cuz like we're on Nucket. I'm feeling calm. I'm feeling meditated and I'm so excited for this episode in the coming weeks, guys. Like the show right now, I feel like we're on fire. Like things are amazing. I'm loving this. So anyways, let's welcome one of my oldest and nearest and dearest friends, Presley Farah, on to the show. [laughter] [gasps] Hello everyone. >> Welcome you. All right. >> Welcome everyone. Presley is back from across the pond. We have some props here. >> Yes, we do. >> Look at us now. I chose this one personally uh to commemorate Macy as a British guard at ERA's circa 20. What was that? 24, >> I think. So, >> in New Orleans, >> that was where I got that. Please tell me about your look. >> Well, you know, I really just wanted to pay homage to my trip to London. My new home, my home away from home. This one I loved because it just had a little bit of spunk, a little bit of personality, and like I love the OG's, you know, like I love to stay tried and true to everything that London was founded on, and that's what I grabbed right here. >> I chose this crown just because it felt >> It's very fitting. >> It felt right. I'm a Leo, you know? Exactly. And then this London bus because I have some really good memories of getting drunk on a London tour bus one afternoon just champagne drunk. There's nothing better. >> Champagne drunk is a whole other >> Oh my god. Oh, it it can go south so quickly. >> It really can. >> But when you're when you're like on that high >> Oh my god, it's everything. And then I this I don't know. Do they even have hot air balloons? I didn't see one, but maybe they do. And if they don't, they should get one cuz I want something like that. >> Because look at our little props. >> They're so perfect. >> I know. Okay, guys. We need to talk about this. Presley just got back from London. >> Please just update the girls on like why you went, where you went, the whole story. >> Yeah. Oh, man. Where do I even begin? And so I turned 28 this year and as you know we grew up in Dallas together in McKenna and I've lived in Dallas for going on oh my gosh 20 years now. Went to high school, college, postgrad, the whole shebang. So have never left college. I mean sorry I've never left Dallas. Um turned 28 this year and something hit me like a brick wall whenever I turned 28. I've always been the type of person to always say, "Okay, come the fall, come the winter time, I'm going to move here and I'm going to make this change." And you just always assume that future you is going to be in a better position for that. That future me is going to have a better financial income, more flexibility with your job, just in a better headsp space. And unfortunately, that was like my demise because I just always assumed that in the future I would make this change. Time and time went by, 3 years, 5 years, and I was in the same position that I have been for the last few years. And so I was like, "Oh my god, if I don't make this change now, I don't think I ever will." So, this summer I quit my job, which is insane. Um, I'm still single, still looking for a love interest, and I'm doing a huge career pivot. So, majored in biology, was on the premed track, just didn't love it. Worked in healthcare for the last six years, and I was like, "Oh my god, my love is fashion. Like, I've always loved fashion. I'm going to make a career pivot." And so, I moved to London for a month. I did a fashion program there. And now I'm just spending the summer doing a gap summer and just figuring out what the heck 28 has in store for me. >> We're gonna talk about a lot of things that are actually like really helpful and beneficial. But I do just need to say that Presley also like she moves in silence like no other. We are very opposite. Like she is black hat. I'm golden retriever. I'm also like guys guess what we're doing. Like all [laughter] this like always. So, we're asking Presley as she's doing this, which I'm like over the moon that she's doing this because this is something that we'd all wanted you to do for so long because you've been talking about it. Yeah. And I was like, look, like I I got to move away from Dallas and then come back and it made me love it here so much more. Like, you just need I just think in your 20s if you're able to move, I think it's such a good thing to do. >> 100%. >> So, I was like, I think it's like a fun thing to do. It's so great for like your growth, for your personal development, for all the things, whatever. So, anyway, she's telling us at Honor Bar that she's going to London for 6 weeks and I'm like so excited. And I'm asking her questions. Of course, Prey's is like really giving me nothing, which is pretty typical. And I'm like, "So, what's the program that you're doing? Like, how did you even find this?" And she's like, "Oh, it's just like some like random program. I don't know." To like kind of >> found it online. >> Yeah, I found it online. And I'm like, "Okay, cool." And like what you guys don't know is that I am her self-appointed social media manager. I act as though I am Kinsey Elizabeth LLC representation and press Farah. Like that is like how I act on her TikTok. I was like, "So, we're going to do a gap summary." Like I was like I this is what we're doing. Right. >> So me her social media manager I see on TikTok when she goes that um she's at the Vogue School of Fashion. >> Y >> surprise. >> Yeah. Cannot relate to moving in silence literally in the sightest all of us. I texted group chat with all of her friends and I'm like did anyone know this? Not a single person. And they all later were my house and they were like by the way guys seriously she didn't tell any of us. I was like no [laughter] she literally told none of us. >> No I love the element of surprise. It makes it so much more fun. No, it's it's really special and honestly like good for you. I wish I was like that. >> Thank you. Thank you. But also part of it is like a self-p protection thing, you know, because I would hate to like hype something up so much and then what if it doesn't live up to like the expectations that I put in my head or like my friend's head. And so part of it is like self-preservation, >> but none of us would think anything of it. >> Yeah, but that's just like how we like operate, you know? We're always like our own worst like critique, you know? >> Oh, of course. Of course. I think we should start with how your late 20s can be really confusing. >> Yeah. Oh man. >> Because it's the splintering years and suddenly like everyone's doing different things and it's also like >> I mean my life in the past years changed so much but I was in such a bad space for so long. Like for me my earlier and mid were way worse >> but I had a lot of other like things. >> Agreed. You were like having fun and I'm like oh I'm miserable. It flipped. So oh my gosh your 20s are just so hard and no one knows what's going on. I think now it's being talked about a little bit more and now the conversation is being had of like no one knows what we're doing. We're all just trying our best. We're all just, you know, living vicariously day by day and doing the best that we can. But your 20s are really hard, especially after, I would say 25 is really the first shift whenever you start to see a lot of like your co-workers like start climbing the corporate ladder. That's whenever they get really like settled in their job. your friends are getting married or having kids, which is like so exciting and like love that for them. But someone like me who just turned 28 and haven't been in a relationship for what, like, oh my gosh, five, six years, still don't know what I'm doing with my career, still just feeling lost. It can be very overwhelming and it can be very isolating too. But I do think that talking about it and just being open about it has really like opened up the doors to these conversations and realizing that like so many people feel this way too. You know, that's one of the things that I think I'm the most grateful for with having any sort of platform >> and also just like not being able to shut up. So, I was really sharing everything I was going through at that time was realizing like it really is so easy, especially when you're feeling isolated or you're feeling like down or if I was feeling insecure about something and I wasn't opening up, >> it was so easy to feel like I was the only person in the world going through it. And then the second that you make like the Tik Toks where you're talking about like, okay, this is confusing. I don't know what I'm doing. Like, I was doing that my all my 20s. I was like like I like by I was doing that I meant like I was not knowing what I was doing all of my 20s. Like I >> once you start talking about it, you realize that like oh actually everyone's there and like most people even the people that you think like really have it together >> like do not also. >> 100%. >> Something that I always think about >> that like specific with my earlier 20s is the people that I was comparing to in my earlier 20s. >> Now if I look at their lives I'm so grateful that that is not like where my life direction went. That's not a knock to them at all. People just want like different things. But I do think we of course you know it's bad to compare yourself and whatever. But I think having more like um kind ofam like concrete examples of that where you know like okay well you just never know where it's going to end up in a couple of years. It does make it a little bit easier. But yeah overall it's just >> it's hard and especially with social media it's you know people put out what everyone wants to see. So it is a very like picturesque like my engagement, you know, my new house that I just bought, my promotion and especially growing up in the south, you know, a lot of people that I went to high school with like got married straight out of college and it's like a very normal thing here. And so there is like that pressure of almost this like I know it is like an imaginary timeline, but it is kind of like instilled in us a little bit, you know, and especially if that's what you're constantly seeing, it's easy to compare yourself and be like, "Oh my god, what am I doing wrong?" You know, like there's something wrong with me. So that's why being able to document like my journey of my gap summer has been like so fulfilling is just like showing that other side of your 20s and just like hearing from so many people that like oh my god I'm not alone in this you know it's been like the most like amazing part of my journey thus far. >> I think the thing that's so annoying too and this is thank god we've like advanced so much and this is way less of an issue is that like with women specifically there is like well one for some reason there was this whole like I need to do all this stuff by 30. I don't know if it's like because of four was 30 under 30 or and you're seeing all these like you're seeing exceptions not the rule >> or if it's be I mean the biological clock with women. I just think that's a big part of it too. Yeah. >> Yeah. Like the pressure which of course we've advanced so much and like people are having babies like in children later and later which is amazing but I think that like the pressure that is put specifically on women is just >> like awful. >> It's insane. Yeah. like growing up like you think that like once you hit 30 that like you're done like the clock stops but it's like being able to see like all these amazing people like Selena Gomez, like Taylor Swift, like Haley Bieber get married at like these later ages and like have like these amazing businesses that they're running at like these later years. Like it's genuinely so inspiring and it like you know reinstills that like your life isn't over whenever you hit after 25. Like we're so young. Like I also think that's another big part of it is like we're convinced that as soon as you turn 25 like your life is over and you're supposed to stay home and not go out on the weekends and like you know stay indoors but it's like no we are so young. We are so young the world is our like get out there and just do something anything. I also think that this is like sounds weird and kind of like very like admlet like life coach of me but in a way being lost is probably the most productive thing that you can do >> because if you like when you're just putting that off and not addressing it and not facing it like you're spending all that you're wasting all that time at least when you're at the point of like I'm I'm so lost I'm so confused that was like me pre- Nashville it's like I'm so lost I'm so confused I don't know what I want to do I don't know myself at this point I look in the mirror and I'm like who is this like you feel almost like disassociated Sometimes >> I think like that >> it's not an overnight thing, but that kind of like starts you on the right path if that makes any sense. >> I think that's kind of where I had to get before I did like the big jump of the scap summer is okay, I could either stay in my comfort zone and I can like live with the regret of not trying something new or I could go full in, try something new and like deal with the potential of like failing at it and like being okay with that. And I think that that's really where you have to get into a mindset. And you don't have to do this like crazy extravagant thing. It can be something as small as just like leaving a relationship that you're not happy in, you know, or trying a new restaurant by yourself, even if you don't have anyone else to go with. It's just like these little mindset shifts that you can do to just like challenge yourself and just try and live, you know, your 20s the best way that you can. I think even things as small as like this might sound dumb but like changing your daily routine like you your life is made up of your daily routine like your what do they say like minutes become like hours hours become like days become weeks weeks become years and >> even something as small as like >> like it's like romanticizing your life trying to do things that like make you happy like bring you joy like >> people I I think about this a lot because there's always like conversations around like different cities and stuff and I think that like moving for people like period is good like I think there's a lot or it can be good. Like I think there's so much good that can come from it. And I think if you were able to do that in your 20s, it's like an amazing experience to have in your life, >> but when people are talking about like different cities and stuff online, it's like some people have like completely opposite situ like scenarios and cities. And if it's people who are like coming from similar backgrounds and similar like upbringings and all that, a lot of the time it is like mindset or how you like spend your days. You know what I mean? Like there's different ways. And if like a move isn't something that's like accessible right now, like there are ways to just like make your dayto-day. And I know it sounds dumb and it sounds annoying. >> No, but it's so true. But it is true. >> Yeah. Cuz it just forces you to >> try something new, go into a crowd that you typically wouldn't like gravitate towards and you meet new people, you make new connections, you learn different things, different like career opportunities, which like just by talking to people. So, it's so true. Just like make a little change, try a different coffee shop, sit there for like 10 minutes instead of just jumping back in your car and going back home. Like little things like that can truly just make a huge difference. >> Yeah. Like smile at people when you're out. That's That's a big one. >> I had Serena Carrian on the show like years ago and she told me that I should just go out and smile at people. Like we were This was like men back in our single [laughter] days and Maine and I had this like insane night where we just smile at people in Fort Worth and it worked and I was like oh so if you're open like things can happen. Who knew? That was who would have thought >> that was news to me. >> Yes. I' a big one is I'm trying to not be on my phone in elevators but it's hard. That's good. >> It's hard. I know. It's just so easy to just get on there, but it's like, why am I in an elevator with all these people and I'm just staring at my phone? Like, why am I doing that? >> Something about a wedding is, oh my god, is it going to be expensive? And that is why I'm really excited to talk to you guys about Something Borrowed Blooms. Couples who choose Something Borrowed Blooms save over 70% compared to the cost of traditional fresh florist. They have been a part of 50,000 plus weddings and events and they have these pre-arranged florals that are offering a budget friendly, sustainable and stress-free alternative to fresh florals. Truly, it is the best thing ever. Something Booms is a floral rental service that delivers premium silk wedding flowers straight to your doorstep. Guys, it is truly a dream come true. The process couldn't be easier. You place your order online, everything ships directly to you 3 days before your event date. You can celebrate stressfree and then simply return the arrangements back into the boxes that they came in using the provided prepaid FedEx return labels. I mean truly it couldn't be better. So if you are currently planning a wedding and you're wondering how to have this like Pinterestw worthy flowers and this whole thing overall the wedding overall while still staying on budget, do yourself a favor and check out something borrowed blooms. You can also use it for so many different things, but I know that so many of us are in our bridal era, and I just think it's so genius, and it's the best thing ever. So, visit Something Borrowed Blooms to browse our collections, order samples, and see how much you can save on your wedding flowers. They were so kind to offer an exclusive discount just for y'all. So, visit somethingborrowedblooms.com and use the code houseguest at checkout for $100 off of $500 plus. That is something borrowed blooms blooms.com and use code house guest at checkout for $100 off of $500 plus. Trust me, your budget will thank you. If you have tried everything to lose weight and you still feel stuck, this summer can be different. Weight Loss by Hers is designed to support you in reaching your goals. With access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wiggoi pill and the Wiggoi Hen, everything is 100% online through hers. You can connect with a licensed provider who will determine if the treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door. No insurance necessary. And it doesn't stop there. Weight Loss by Hers goes beyond medication by offering access to 247 messaging with your care team and tons of in-app lifestyle and nutrition tips like recipes, meal plans, fitness videos, sleep content, and more. Even better with a range of affordable GLP-1 medications. Hers makes it simple to find an approach that fits your needs and your budget if eligible. You'll get a treatment plan personalized to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed. It's weight loss designed to work with your life. You are ready to reach your goals. Visit forhers.com/houseg to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That is for hers. F o rhe.com/housegast forhers.com/housegast. Weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states. WGOI is a registered trademark at novoordisk as to get started and learn more including important safety information. MGovi clinical study information and restriction. Visit forhurst.com. With PGOI at hers, lose up to 20% of your body weight when combined with diet and exercise. It helps you regulate your appetite, eat less, and keep weight off. Plus, BGOI is the first ever GLP-1 pill for weight loss, so there are no needles needed. At Starbucks, full and part-time baristas can build meaningful careers while getting industry-leading benefits like comprehensive health coverage and up to 18 weeks of paid parental leave without missing a step in their careers. Because at Starbucks, great benefits and opportunities to grow are just the start. Learn more at starbox.com/partners. But another thing and I think about this with you because you actually have made a career pivot already >> like in your earlier 20s if you really think about it. I just don't think you give yourself the credit for that. >> Yeah, that's true. >> But I think it is so much easier as time goes on and you're you're making the scary jumps and I feel this way in like different areas of my life. Like I have noticed within myself that like the more like risk I'm taking or the things that are like scaring me, the less scary things become because I had proof to look back on. even if it didn't like >> work out the way that I wanted it to, it worked out like how it was meant to and it led me to something else. So I think that like as you start doing small things like even just like oh I can talk to someone in an elevator like you're building confidence within yourself that's what you're doing and that's really at the end of the day like what you need to build to be able to then go on and do other things or like obviously something as massive as like quitting your what was your dream job prior. >> My dream job. Yeah. your literal dream job that you had been at, you loved your co-workers, like you had such a great experience and to quit that and then to like move across to London, which like of course you can hear that and be like, "Okay, I want to move to London." But like, do you really think about it? Like moving to another country, leaving everything, you know, everyone, you know, like that is a scary thing to do. >> Yeah. Oh, I was terrified. I was absolutely terrified. And once again, I think it came back to I have to be okay with potentially failing at this and absolutely hating it. And maybe I get so homesick, but at least I tried. And that's just what I kept telling myself over and over and over again. And I did it. I did the dang thing and now I'm back here. And it was the best decision I've ever made. Truly the best. >> And it shows you that you can do that. So for other stuff, especially when you like do something so scary at first, it's like riding the scariest roller coaster. So then every other one is easy like going to like riding the Titan or like Shockwave first. Um it makes everything else easier though. It really does. >> It really does. Yeah. >> Okay. So I do come prepared with some things. Okay. I think we should go starting at the gap year. Okay. So, like when you feel like you're in a rut and you don't want your life to stay the same, >> how did you finally like actually push yourself off that ledge? Cuz you've talked about how it was really like 3 years of talking about moving or doing something else. Like how did you finally get yourself to make the move? >> Uh it was honestly just having the courage to make a change like truly. And I think because I had been so stagnant in my life of just doing the same routine, going to the same restaurants, you know, hanging out with the same people, I told myself, in order to make a jump like this, I have to do something big. I have to go big. Otherwise, like I know I'm going to just keep on trucking and keep doing what I'm doing. And so that's what I did. I really just sat down and I was like, "Okay, if I had to pick one thing, what do I love doing?" And it's always come back to fashion. I don't have a background in fashion. I didn't study it. Obviously, I majored in biology. I thought I was going to be a doctor. Okay, surprise. I'm not I'm not a doctor. Um, so that was just always what was ingrained in me in college, but always I just loved like putting outfits together. I loved just like posting little selfies on Instagram of just like my outfits, like little things like that. And I was like, that is what brings me joy and that is something that I would love doing. Start with that. Figure out what you love doing and see if you can pivot with that. And then from there just went online, searched up any just like short-term courses because obviously moving abroad is very expensive and I, you know, I could not afford to live there all summer. So I I had to come back. So I was like short-term course, anything I could get my hands on, any knowledge I could get. And then that's how I found the Vogue College of Fashion, very casual Vogue College of Fashion. You guys know you guys. And it was amazing. It was truly so amazing. I learned so much. I met so many amazing people. And I think that was really like my number one is just doing something big, at least for me, and just finding what I loved and just going down that path and seeing if there's anything feasible that I can do with it. I need you so desperately to do the Susie Welch course. Welch, I will go to New York with you and do an intensive weekend cuz Charlie and I wanted to do it anyway. And I am a Susie. This is I've told you to do this quiz before online. >> You have. >> I am a Susie Welch evangelist. There is no one like that woman. for anyone listening cuz the next thing people will ask is like how do I even really realize what I like cuz I think sometimes it's actually genuinely hard and also I think it's hard for a couple different reasons but I also think it's hard because a lot of the times you're naturally good at it when you're naturally good at something you don't think you're good at it because you don't notice anything about it you're just like yeah I can do that can't everyone you know >> so I always say too it's like going back to like what you liked as a kid like everything that I'm doing now is like things that I liked doing as a kid because that was before the world jaded you know But if you need like actual I get like literally nothing out of this. I just am her evangelist. I literally post an Instagram story sharing her thing today like just in a Q&A if you do not know I we will have a link and they she has like an online thing that you can do and they also do like intensives but I really think we should look it up and do an intensive cuz you can go in there and what she does is she gives you your values which you don't if you think you know what values are. I thought that too. You really don't. Like only like 17% of the world or I think it was 7% of the world actually knew whatever. Also, the woman like knows Oprah, like she knows what she's talking about. Yeah. Love. >> So, then you do like an aptitudes test. So, it it basically what she does is combines what your skill set is and like what you're interested in >> and like what you're gifted in and like basically gives you like the job that you should do. >> Oh, okay. Well, perfect. >> It literally gives you the framework. Exactly. Like, sign me up. >> It's so amazing. And she just I mean truly like just the conversations I've had with her on the podcast on my podcast like in like the stuff I've listened to her just like episode prepping genuinely. I mean, how many times have I talked about this in my like personal life? It changed my life. And I think if you are someone listening and like, I don't know what to do >> for actual framework, that's a really good resource. >> Yeah. And it can also be very intimidating because obviously with jobs and whatnot, especially with the job market right now, every job requires three years of experience, a PhD, and it can be very intimidating to make that jump because it's like, okay, if I'm starting in a career that I don't really have a background in, how the heck am I supposed to land a job? And so that's kind of also what I was thinking about. And that's also why I went back to school was I was like, I just need to get any hands-on experience that I can. I need to like watch YouTubetubes. I need to watch podcasts. I need to go to the internet. Like anything possible that I can get my hands on to just like better myself to make that pivot is what I was trying to do too. >> I also think you didn't really wait until you were ready. Like >> at the end of the day, you can't wait until you're ready cuz there's you're never going to be ready. >> News flash, you're never going to be ready. >> It's so unfortunate, isn't it? >> It really is. Like I wish that there was just like a perfect timeline or like a day where you just wake up and everything just falls into your lap, but like that is just not how life goes. But like that's the beauty in it, you know? Like there's beauty in being able to make a change and there's beauty in being able to make these decisions that are so scary because that's where like the biggest reward comes from is putting yourself outside that comfort zone and like truly just trying something new. My favorite women to learn from are people who have made career pivots like in their 50s and 60s and they've gone back to like med school. They've gone back and because they're not allowing themselves to live by some madeup timeline. >> Yeah. Or in their box. Yeah. >> Totally. And like you know I actually my friend Julia Haven said this to me once from like a book that she read. I was like that's so true. You know we're always like oh and they say this and they do this and they and they she's like okay but who is they right? >> Like they they don't exist. >> Who are they? >> Who are they? Like name that person you know but it's always like oh they'll judge me. They'll say this. They'll say that. They they you know and it's like okay but who are those people? And then even if you have someone it's like okay >> who cares? those people. You need to make life decisions for yourself because 10 years from now, you're going to have yourself, but you're probably not even going to be thinking about the people that you're making life decisions based on their opinion. >> 100%. Yeah. Like you'll have yourself through and through, but people come and go, you know, and that's just what you have to remind yourself, you know, is that like you have to do it for you because that is the person that's going to be in your corner for the rest of your life. >> There you go. >> There you have it. >> Okay. So, you make the decision. >> I make the decision >> to go to London. >> I go to London. >> Yeah. >> How was that? >> It was amazing. Oh my gosh. Like I especially living in Dallas for so long, and you know this too, I'm quite the homebody, okay? Like I'll go to a restaurant, I'll have a few drinks, but like I'm not going out every single night on the weekends. Like it's a good weekend if I like go out to a bar after I go to a restaurant. >> And that's like that's maybe after six months. >> Big night for me. And so one of the biggest things going to London is okay, yes, the career pivot was obviously at the forefront, but the other part of it was like I just want to experience life. I don't care if that sounds cheyy. I genuinely like I just felt like I was in such a rut being in Dallas. I was like, I just want to talk to new people. I want to go outside. I want to have a drink. I want to like go for a walk. I want to sit in a park. Like I know it sounds like such small things, but that was genuinely what I was craving. So going to London, it forced me to go outside my comfort zone. When obviously whenever I first got there, I didn't know anyone. I went there by myself and I was like, "Okay, you know what? If we want to leave this apartment, we're going to go get dinner by ourselves. We're going to go to a pub by ourselves." It was terrifying, don't get me wrong. I was absolutely terrified. But it was like my favorite nights that I was in London because I could talk to whoever I wanted to. I could leave whenever I wanted to. I could pivot bars if I wanted to. And it just like genuinely made me want to connect with people, which I know it sounds so simple, but it's like nowadays a lot of people just it's hard to talk to someone. You know, it's intimidating. You don't want to be judged or you don't want to come off as clingy, but like you just you have to do it. And it was like the best part of my trip was just being able to meet all these amazing people while I was there. You're also able to like set a new routine. >> Yeah. because it was so and of course you could do this in your home wherever you are now, but it's so easy to get stuck. It's like there's so many things to do in any city that you're at, but like when you live there or like wherever you are currently, when you're at home, it's so easy. Like I'm such a homebody. We go to the same restaurants. We go to the same >> I feel like Yeah, we really do. But we like love an honor bar margarita. >> We really do. >> But like I do feel lucky because I travel so much. So I do feel like I get a lot of that. But it is so easy when you are at home to just stay into your like Charlie and I have been having that conversation so much. I'm like there's so many things we should do and it's not scary. >> Exactly. I'm like you don't have to put yourself out there. >> Yeah. Put on a show and you can just binge it for eight hours straight. That's what I would do. I'm like that is my cup of tea. But then it's like days go by, weeks go by and it's like oh my god what did I do this month? I was like I literally stayed home all month and it's like for what? Like yes, it was nice in the moment, but I'm like, gosh, like I'm not going to be young forever, you know? I'm like, I got to get outside. >> Charlie and I had that conversation this weekend because like we're both such home bodies, so it's kind of like really a recipe for disaster. >> And I mean, we have people over a lot, but we I was saying that I'm like there's so many things there's like museums and so many things that we want to do in Dallas. I'm like, we're literally making at the beginning of every month like a monthly bucket list. we have to go and like because even when we were in like when we went to Savannah, we went to Charleston. I'm like there's so we had so much fun in Savannah and I'm like it's because we made ourselves go out and do things like we like to be home because like we both are just home bodies but I'm trying just like in my daily life I'm trying especially when I'm home. It's hard this summer cuz we're so in and out so I'm just like exhausted >> daily. >> But I'm trying to be like more intentional and also have like the vacation mindset. This is something we always say is that >> basically it's like you know when you go like anytime friends come and visit us in Dallas they're like oh my god the guys are so hot here and I'm likely see and like what are you talking about but you become so familiar you don't even like notice it >> you don't appreciate it as much cuz it's almost like >> totally and you don't have the mindset of like oh I'm not in my hometown I can do whatever I want it's not that big of a deal like when you have the mindset of like when you're on vacation or when you're just like on a trip and you're only going to be there for a little bit like you have a more fun outgoing like perspective I'm trying to pub myself to watch the World Cup game. I was like, I obviously don't know anyone here. I'm going out. Like, this is a once in a-lifetime opportunity. The World Cup is playing. Like, I got to go outside. So, I posted a video just talking about like hyping myself up. It was almost like my pregame to like go out to this pub. And someone DM'd me and they actually gave me the exact same advice that you just said. They were like, "Imagine that you're on a vacation. you're only in town for two to three days and if anyone asks like you can just tell them that you know what I mean like just to like make connections and it really just takes the pressure off of the night. Another thing that I learned or I was telling myself is like if you do decide to go out by yourself literally just give yourself two goals like to don't expect it to be the best night of your life and you're going to meet all these people and it's going to be extravagant and amazing. Make two goals. So my goals for myself were to stay for two drinks which was hard but I did it. stayed for two drinks and to talk to someone new. And I think just setting like realistic small goals and then at the end of the night I did it and I was like that was awesome. I'm so proud of myself like I did it, you know? So that also helps a lot too. No, cuz you're building confidence as you do that. And also like it's like okay just two goals. I mean those are still two big things but it makes you feel good about yourself because you know that you can do it and then next time you like trust yourself more to be able to do it. >> Yeah. Or you can like up it a notch or something, you know? You could I don't know. I don't know where you go from there cuz that's where I'm at right now. But >> yeah, we'll get back to you guys on the next steps. >> We'll circle back whenever I become more confident in that. But as of right now, those are my two that I'm really sticking with. >> But I do think that's really good advice because it's just two things. >> You don't have to have a checklist of 10 things. You don't need to be out until 4:00 a.m. You don't need to meet all these different people cuz it's really easy. Like I feel like if you didn't have those goals and you're like, "Yeah, I got two drinks and I talked to someone." I feel like you would literally like have that just knowing you. I think that you would have that perspective on yourself. Like you would be hard on yourself. But because you made your goals, it's like which you should have been proud of that to begin with, but it's really easy to be like to downplay your accomplishment. Like that's like a really big thing. People >> it's scary to go anywhere by yourself. But I do think it's a I actually think that like a solo date at like a bar with a Kindle or like a solo lunch date. I think that's like some of the best things you can do for like building a relationship yourself. >> And let me say, okay, the first time that I went out by myself in London, I have never been approached by so many men in my life and buying me drinks. Okay. And for someone who typically is not approached by guys. >> Oh, Presley. Oh my god. Don't even get me started. Oh my god. Sorry. Continue. I'll let you speak. >> I [laughter] was like, "This is amazing." And so it just goes to show like being by yourself like people view it as like someone who's confident. You know, even if internally you are quaking, drenched in sweat being like, "Everyone's staring at me. No one cares. >> Nobody cares. >> No one is thinking about you as much as you are thinking about yourself. Everyone else is so concerned with what they're doing, what their night's going to look like. Genuinely, no one cares. >> But presently, every man in the world is in love with you. And also, no, but in all seriousness, like this just goes to prove our point that we were saying that your energy was different when you were there >> because also open. >> Totally. And like when we go out, >> we are with our friends, we're not really like looking unless we're bringing Charlie and we're lit and even then you guys are not ready and wanting out like we literally will like we actually need to like do this more consistently. other plan in >> talk to a wall. >> Oh, he could. >> He could talk to a wall. >> He's going to find my husband one day. >> He really will. Like >> Yeah. >> Okay. So, we just need to do some like scouting trips. >> Yeah. I think that's another part of my gap summer that I need to spend some more time in is dating. >> I'm glad you're bringing that up. >> Oh jeez. >> So, where are we at there? >> Oh, we are at ground zero. We're on Mars. We're not even like on Earth right now. Like it's just but also it's been very peaceful and I always say that like >> it's hard because I was, you know, I was in a relationship for my entire life. I >> guys actually for context and like I don't claim this cuz like they don't say that they were that they said they started dating a year before but they were literally together for like a decade and I did technically set them up in the sixth grade. >> You did? So thank you so much for that. >> I'm so sorry. >> I learned [laughter] >> Yeah. You know, there were some trials and tribulations. >> There were some good times. There were some good times. >> We're healed now. We're healed now. So, we can laugh about it now. Um, but it's so funny because obviously being in a relationship that started, God, when I was like in middle school in high school, I literally thought that I was going to be engaged by 22, 23 by the time we're seniors and then get married probably by 25. And now it's like here I am at 28. I mean, I've been on maybe a handful of dates, but like no date has made it past, I would say, like the second date. And so, that's another part of your 20s is like, oh my gosh, it's supposed to be the time where I'm settling down and, you know, like going on all these crazy dates and meeting all these amazing men and having all these rendevous. And if you're not, it's very easy to get in your head and be like, am I ever going to find love? Is it ever going to find me? What's wrong with me? What do I need to do? But it just takes time. And I'm trusting the process. And I see, but that's also part of my problem is I just expect my husband is like going to find me one day and that's part of my problem. Oh my god, guys. Do I love OIA? That Unarian algae body oil. If you guys have not tried it, it is a must. I'm really particular when it comes to oils in general. One, I'm like a body oil girl. I much prefer an oil over everything else. But with that being said, I'm really particular when it comes to an oil because so much of them are just like so greasy then it gets on everything and it's just like you look like a grease ball forever. You know what I'm talking about? But not with this one, okay? It smells amazing. This citrus scent is unlike anything else. It is not greasy and it absorbs very quickly, but it it doesn't absorb too much to the point where like it your skin just like sucks it all up and then your skin doesn't look moisturized or glowy anymore. It's really the perfect amount. Okay. It's silky. It's rich. It's really lightweight. And it just really melts onto your damp skin. It is just the absolute absolute best to use this after you get out of the shower. It is truly unlike anything else. If I'm not using this, my skin is just really like it's just not good. It's dull. It's dry. It's not looking its best. It's not feeling its best. And I love OIA specifically because they have been committed to clean standards for 30 years. I just love the brand in general. It's the best. You really can, especially with this body oil. You truly can see and feel the difference from just one use. It's clinically shown to instantly improve the look of skin elasticity and deeply moisturize. This is something that I've been using for years and years and it was such a treat like years ago and it's something that I really just cannot go without. It is so good. It also prevents visible signs of aging and gives a healthy looking and youthful glow to the skin. I am looking for that youthful glow. Okay. The fact that it does that is also great, but like the youthful glow that it gives you is just unbelievable. Oia's iconic award-winning Andereia algae body oil is for skin that deserves more than lotion. And right now, we have a special discount for y'all. Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code houseguest at oia malibu.com. That is code housegamalibu.com. Y'all, does anyone else feel like August is just the Sunday of summer? It is the perfect time to hit reset before the autumn rush. And for me, that always starts with my wardrobe. Quint proves that you don't need a crowded closet to look incredible. You really just need the right pieces. And that is why I love Quint because they specialize in effortless, highquality essentials. My absolute favorite thing from them ever, point blank, period, is the Mongolian Kashmir sweater. Unbelievable, guys. Everything at Quinc is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut off the middleman so that you're paying for the quality and not the brand markup. So they have this like ult they honestly in general have ultra soft organic cotton. The premium Mongolian Kashmir sweaters, the ones that I was just talking about, guys. I I don't even know where to begin. Normally Kashmir sweater is like hundreds and hundreds of dollars and I get my Kashmir sweaters for under $100 from Quint. It's insane. They also have premium stretch denim that starts at just $50 with the kind of perfect fit, structure, and weight that you'd expect from a luxury designer brand. Y'all can upgrade your everyday. Download the Quint app for app exclusive offers or go to quint.com/housegast. Get free shipping on your order and 365day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. That is quint q i nce ce.com/houseg guest. They also have really amazing home items. I cannot recommend shopping their site enough. I love their sheets. I love their cashmere. I love really everything that they do. But again, because they're priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They're working directly with these factories, but they're just cutting out the middleman. So, you're paying for the quality and not the brand markup. So, truly cannot recommend enough. >> So, Presley, you and I were literally the same. [laughter] That is exactly how I was. Like I really and I had such a negative >> like perspective on it. Also, it's like I mean think I literally met Charlie a year ago this week as we're recording. >> Wild. >> By the time this comes out, it'll be a little longer. But >> the perfect relationship by the way. >> But the amount of the amount of time like that is how quick your life can change. >> But I forced myself to go on dates. Your like London is kind of my Nashville dating era like together. >> That was me dipping my toe in the pond. I was dipping it. And I do think that with my school and stuff, like that was just such at the forefront of my brain was school and making friends. And I think that if I had more time there, I think I would have really like set time apart to like go on dates and like really make that a priority. But now that I'm back, I'm like, should I do it in Dallas? >> Yes, you should. You really should. >> I should. >> Um, no. And also, I you don't need to do everything all at once. So, totally fine. >> So true. >> But here is the thing. You need I need you to listen to the episode I did with my friend who was a dating coach named Nora >> and she gives the best advice. Like she used to be a matchmaker and then she was a dating coach and then she went off and was a life coach for a while and now she's back to doing she has like a new like matchmaking service whatever. Oh, I'll connect you actually. Um absolutely. And she's kind of like all over. So like there's like a lot of different people. But the thing about dating too for me is ob like I did for those who are just tuning in and haven't heard [clears throat] me talk about this a billion times. I did a 10 days and 30 days challenge because I had a really I was really confident and secure in every other area of my life in dating. I was really insecure because I really hadn't had that much experience. I hadn't I the people that I had been in like long-term relationships with it typically came from friendship. So I hadn't like gone out like put myself out there. I also have been single for a long time. So, I just felt very like the thought of going on a date was so overwhelming to me. Like, it literally gave me such bad anxiety. And I would talk about the podcast, how I was going to start doing it, whatever. And then finally, I was like, "Look, I actually think I met my friend Nora >> and I was with my friend Ally and she's like, "Look, you I'm getting I'm like going through this so quickly for people who have already heard this a million times. I'm sorry, guys." But basically, she's like, "You need to just get yourself like start exercising the muscle of dating cuz if you want to eventually meet someone, >> just start like putting yourself out there. it'll change your energy like how suddenly you're being approached at bars, >> right? >> So, for me it was and of course I went on some bad dates in there. Like of one guy asked me how much money I made. Like it wasn't all great but it was funny. Like that was a thing for me to have like a 1hour drinks day. Like I had probably one that was like >> bad. >> Yeah. >> And then the rest of them like they were not my person but it was fun. It was interesting to learn about them and it was like it was a good experience. M >> so once I shifted and I also had no I know this is so annoying cuz I don't want to contribute to the whole when you're not looking you'll find them conversation cuz I know that's annoying >> but like I really had no expectations at all because I was just trying to like get myself to practice dating >> there. >> Yeah. And it was honestly fun. Like it was a really good and I had so many stories and I was like oh my god and this guy I mean never forget Farama man. That was that was that was not even the dating challenge. Yeah. >> Um, but it was so great and I think you need to like you don't have to do the exact challenge but I also saw Emma I don't know how to pronounce Leger. >> Love her. I literally know her. Um, really sweet girl. She did I don't >> the 10 dates I saw that >> posted a TikTok. [laughter] I don't know if she did like my challenge exactly or she just did one at the same time but we both got engaged in like a week of each other. >> Isn't that wild? >> Yes. And it works. Like even if like >> and when I say it works and people are messaging me like oh I didn't find my husband. Like the point of the dating challenge was never to find my husband. The point of the dating challenge was to get myself into a good place and groove with dating to where I would feel comfortable and confident and I would eventually find the person. I got very very lucky that I met Charlie during that time. >> But that's not the point of the dating challenge. The point of the dating challenge is to like mix up like change up your life like switch things up. Like nothing changes if nothing changes. >> Yeah. I definitely think that shifting your mindset is such a huge part because I think whenever I first got out of my long-term relationship, I had to teach myself how to date. Like when I tell you I had I had never really been on a date in like any time, high school, college, cuz I was obviously dating the same person. And so it was like learning how to ride a bike. And I think my first few dates that I went on, I was so in my head. I was sweaty. I was going to like vomit. So I was so nervous cuz you just get it so hyped up and you're like, "This is my husband. I'm going to meet my husband tonight. Like I need to be perfect. I need to be on." and then you go to the date and say if you guys aren't vibing it's like you spent all this time all this energy psyching yourself out and within like five minutes you know if you're gonna click with the person it's like okay why did I just waste all that time and energy psyching myself out if I know that this isn't going to be like my forever thing and so I think it really is just shifting your mindset of like once again we're going to go we're going to have a drink we're going to talk to this person and even if it doesn't work out I'm going to make a friend and it just like takes the pressure off of it and I think it makes you more open because you're not so in your head that like this is my man, this is my husband, I have to be perfect because then it's like you're not being your true authentic self as well, you know? >> And it can be really discouraging if you're going on a lot of dates and you're not meeting anyone you like that 100%. >> I think that's also part of the reason why I pumped the brakes a little bit is because I just started to get so defeated a little of like, oh, why is why is no one landing? Like, why isn't this working? And then it's like, okay, well, you know what? We're just going to take a break. And then that break then becomes a month and then it becomes two months and then it comes three months and then it's like, "Okay, Presley, what are we doing?" >> Totally. >> I don't know. Well, I wasn't even like before that I wasn't even like I went on a couple dates throughout >> maybe throughout the years that I was single. Like I really didn't even >> I didn't even do that cuz I was so I just the thought of it just made me so anxious. But you don't know what I think that I was already doing. I was a bunch of things like this right now is not how I want to be and how I want to feel and like I don't feel like the I feel very lost and conf I was also grieving. It was just like a lot of things happening, but I was like, I I just need the change. And I I think you're so spot on about you can't have like those expectations going into a date because also what it does is it like skews you into like trying to like them and you don't need to. You know how I always say like, okay, you're so focused on do they like me? And you need to be asking yourself like, do I like them? But like taking the power back and just this is why I swear by one hour drink states before a dinner that you have with your friends. Because if you do one hour drinks and then you have you're there one hour, you have a heart out, you leave and then you don't feel like you wasted your whole night getting ready because you have plans after that like being able to like squeeze them in like you know Charlie and I will get dinner with you after every single day. We'll literally show for you. >> I would love that. >> And you know we would love that. >> Absolutely. I think like to your point like taking the power back because I also think sometimes I get in my head because if I go on a date a guy will ask me like oh when was your last relationship and I'll be like oh my god it was like 5 years ago. Like in my head they're like why are you still single? like there's something wrong with you. You know what I mean? And it's like almost flipping the script a little bit and it's like okay, yes, I've been single for a long time, but it's like I'm so comfortable with myself now and I know what I want, what I don't want in a relationship and like I needed to become someone that I personally would want to date in order to like be able to date someone else. Totally. And so if you have been single for a long time, like I do think it's helpful to view it like that, like you're actively working on yourself and you're becoming someone that like you would be interested in dating. And I think that's also really important too is like taking the time to figure out who you are, what your likes are. Cuz yes, it's nice whenever someone likes you back, but then it's like, do I like this person? Like, do I click with them? I feel like as women sometimes it's very easy to be like, he didn't text me back after that date. And I found myself doing that, too. And I'd be like, wait, I didn't even like have that much fun on the date. I'm like, why am I tripping over myself that I haven't gotten a text back? And I was like, I didn't even like him that much, but it's just like this like >> psycho thing. Yeah. It's like a I don't know what it is, but yeah. So, you just got to stay true to yourself and just try your best. That's all you can do. Something that helped me too cuz a lot of my I have like different pockets of friends and I have friends that like I like my friends like Ben and Jesse who've been on the show. Jesse's an author, but I like love like there are people that like I look up to their relationship. Like there's certain people around me that I just like love and look up to. I don't actually really have friends in Texas that are married. like none of our friends like I feel like out of our group of friends I feel like a child bride like I am the very first like I and I feel and it happened really out of nowhere like it was I don't I also expected to be the last >> so it really I feel so young here but in like other cities with my friends who are married I like would regularly go on and do trips with them and they're all like coupled up and it would make me like instead of being cuz I also always you and I both like at times like I loved being single like when you talk about like there was so much peace I was like I peace on my pillow every night. Like I really did love it and I finally was like, "Oh, I think I want to add I'm in a good place. I like who I like." Exactly what you were saying. Like now I think I want to add to that. >> But with them, I think I could have really easily like been like, "Okay, well like everyone has like the love of their life. They're so happy. They're so in love. They're so whatever." But instead of having that like make me miserable, especially when I was like hanging out and I would be like ninth wheeling or whatever, instead of like letting that make me miserable, I was like, "Oh my god, I know it could happen." Like it would like inspire me. which is so everything we're saying is so cheesy today, but like it is what it is. >> So true, guys. >> Sorry, guys. We're like today, literally. So true. >> But it really did help me and it gave me a lot of hope and I would see how they >> like how their husbands treated them and all that. Especially like when you come from a like divorced family in every single marriage in this family basically is divorced. It made it gave me like so much hope cuz I was able to see all of their marriages that were like so healthy and it was and even if your parents aren't divorced like you don't always want that marriage, you know, like just to have models of like what I wanted it to look like in my life and just know that like event eventually would even though I had a really hard time >> like I personally was like I know logically it'll probably happen but like emotionally I didn't I couldn't see it >> right. >> So but for me it was like helpful. I think that like having the shift of like no, like one, I think that I would much rather be single for a long period of time than like dating with people that like were not great for me, the wrong person. >> And then two, like when you're around friends who are like all of a sudden like finding love, like using that as like >> inspiration, god forbid, guys. Seriously, this is just getting worse and worse, >> literally. >> But seriously, like using it as like some sort of inspiration cuz I was like, "Oh my god." And like my friend Anna and her husband, like I would see that and I'm like, "I know it could happen." And I was so annoying to them cuz I'd be like, "All right, like eventually." They're like, Kenzie, you just need to go on dates. Like I know how annoying it was. Like I get it and I was the most annoying about it. Like I say that all the time, but it was really helpful for me in that. >> Yeah. And I also think like either if you were in a relationship that was just like sucking the life out of you or you grew up like watching a relationship that wasn't healthy, it's like being able to shift that and just say like what a gift it is that I'm not settling and I'm not in a relationship that's like pulling me down and like I do have flexibility. I have flexibility to meet new people. I have flexibility to try a new drink, try a new food with some stranger, you know, that could become like my husband or a friend, you know, down the line. It's like just being able to see it glass half full, not half empty. And like that's what I don't want and this is what I want moving forward. >> And it's exciting. >> It is exciting, you know? It is. I I think we like lose that we lose that sight of it, you know? >> Then you're like tired, like you're just getting patient. >> It's almost like a checklist. You're like, "Okay, date number five didn't work out. On to date number seven. Maybe this one will click." And it's like, you know, it is exciting and it's fun and I need to remind myself of that, too. >> Yeah. Looking at it as I mean, it's all of course easier said than done. Like we're both saying these things because we've been on the other side. You know what I mean? Like because >> we felt annoyed and we felt all those things. >> Yes. >> Um but I do think that I mean again like God forbid guys, cornball alert, everything is mindset. But it really is like it does and it helps so much to like change those perspectives and instead of being like >> I like I don't know what I'm doing. I feel so lost. I feel so confused. And like it's exciting. Like there's so many things like your life can change in a year. There's so many things that are coming. There's so like >> even if like your life like even if you stay in the same city, you stay around the same people, you stay around whatever you yourself can change so much in a year that you feel completely differently there. You know what I'm saying? >> 100%. Yeah. It does start with you. Yeah, >> it starts with you. >> And it's like I just think about friends like I would think about people that I knew who like were in and now I like think about just like me and Charlie. But like when I would think about friends that I knew who had situations where they met someone and then was love and like you would have never expected it like that was something you were like the perfect example and I feel like I look up to you so much in that regard of just like obviously so many aspects of life but like you are the fine print of that you know like being able to see your transformation from like last year to this year. It's like it blows my mind. It's truly so amazing. >> I feel that way about you even from like before London. I was thinking about that before, but I was like I feel like it does kind of sound condescending. I'm so proud of you. But I really am. But I know that sounds kind of condescending. >> No, I I am so proud. >> But you know what I mean. Okay. [laughter] Absolutely. No, it is like and I also think too like when you're going through a breakup like I mean we really could we could really like write a book on this but I think that a breakup can be like the best opportunity for you in your life thus far because it'll set you on like a completely new path. You can change so much about your life. You get to know yourself in totally different ways. You learn so much about yourself during breakups. Like I honestly should do an updated like full breakup episode >> because I really do think like it can be the best thing that's happening to you. I'm sure a lot of people are listening to this being like, "Okay, I'm miserable and I'm heartbroken and all these things." And it is so hard when you're going through it. >> Yeah. >> Should we talk about that a little bit? >> We can if you want to. Yeah. >> Like it's just like what breakup advice would you give? Like what are things that like have helped you? >> Yeah. I mean there was a time where I was like I don't think I'm ever going to get through this. Like I convince myself even if the relationship wasn't the best for me, like especially if you stay with someone for longer than you should have. You genuinely convince yourself that you're not going to find anyone. And I think that's part of the toxic cycle of why people break up and get back together. It's like the fear of like being alone. But genuinely being alone is so important and it's so amazing. I think time, I hate to even say it, but time is your best friend post breakup. like the first two weeks are going to be horrible, the first 3 weeks are going to be horrible, but one day you're going to wake up and you're not going to think about it as much. And then each day goes on and it just slowly dies a little bit more like in your head. And just find hobbies. Find hobbies. Find your friends. Like I think that's another part of whenever you get into relationships. Sometimes it's natural to kind of not hang out with your friends as much, but then whenever push comes to shove and say like you do break up, like those are the people that you're going to lean on. And so I do think it's really important to like maintain your friendships too in a relationship and they will literally pull you out of the ruts of like a post breakup blue. Truly, you also have this opportunity to fill your life with all these good things like you were saying, friends and hobbies and like things that you've been putting off cuz you didn't have the time because of the relationship that it was taking up. Like >> you basically just use it as a blank slate. And I you're so right, especially when it comes to >> I think with any relationship, but especially when it comes to like a more, you know, toxic or more unhealthy relationship, which when you're younger, especially like that's just like of like par for the course. Like >> everyone has one at least, you know, >> one >> unless you don't. Good for you. Honestly, God love that. Love that. Um yeah, literally obsessed. Um yeah, like that's actually amazing, guys. [laughter] Keep that up. But I do think that it's really easy to convince yourself like, well, I'll never find anyone or they could have told you. Like, you'll never find someone like me. Like, that's just a lie. Like, you will always find someone else. You'll always find someone who's better suited for you. Your life will change. >> In any man that I've cried over in the past, there's not a single one of them that I'm not so >> unbelievably embarrassed that I dated. Like, unbelievably embarrassed. >> Relationship embarrassment is [laughter] wild. >> It is so wild. But the guys, if you're listening to this and guys that you're like sobbing over now, I promise you, even if you don't think that there is a day, there will come a day where you're like, "Oh, I'm mortified." >> Yeah. Truly. >> And I'm not in like a shameful way for you. I just need to let that give you. Yeah. I feel like even sometimes I look back at it as like a reflection of me is like how could I have thought that that was like my end all be all you know and it's I'm going to get like full like cornball here of course but part of me is with especially like not having like active like talking stages right now relationship there is part of me where it's like oh my gosh am I ever going to find love am I deserving of love but I heard I think it was on a podcast they were talking about and they were like imagine if you are capable of giving out so much love into the world like maybe that is my version of love is like just like being nice to someone today or just like helping out a friend. Like I'm capable of giving out love. So like surely at some point like it'll find me back, you know, and I just have to keep giving it as much as I can and hopefully the universe will >> bring it back. I really cannot wait to see who you end up with. >> Oh gosh, I have no idea. I've got to get Charlie on that. >> Please. >> I'm actually going to connect you with my matchmaker. >> Um I think that that would just be >> Yeah. like so amazing. And again, I think a lot of it is like I cringe at things that I did or how I felt in that relationship and I'm like, >> "Oh, wow." Like, and you you get to a point you don't ever even think about that. It's just like you really do even in the midst of it when you're like, "I will never get over this. I will never feel okay again. I will never >> all consuming." >> Like Megan Running Dress, like you get over it. I promise that's a great song. It's going to be hard, but you will get through it and you will get over it and it's going to be so amazing whenever you get over that hump and you're going to be so thankful >> and you'll find a new lease on life, which kind of is what this episode is about. >> Exactly. It's full circle moment. >> It is full circle. >> Yeah. >> Are there things you're doing while you're in Dallas that you're trying to kind of switch up and change just in your daily routine? Like have you thought about that coming back or have you not even had a chance? >> Yeah, I have thought about it. So, I've only been back for a few days and then I leave again. So, I am traveling like a lot this summer. Um, but part of the thing that I wanted to do was I wanted to start doing solo dates. That is like one thing I'm like, "Hey, there are a lot of new restaurants in Dallas that once again I haven't tried because I'm a creature of habit. I'm going to go to a bar and I'm going to bring my Kindle and I'm going to have a drink and I'm going to have a dinner." And that's something that I'm going to start doing in Dallas. 100%. Cuz it works so well in London. It works so well. >> I know. And then everyone's going to be flocking to you. >> I hope so. >> They will be pressing you. [snorts] Oh my god. I hope so. >> Press is the friend that you post and like within 2 seconds the guys are like, "Hey, who's that?" >> Oh my gosh. She just is so Canadian and just so nice and just wouldn't say that, but I will for her. >> Oh, that's so nice. >> Okay, I think we should end off on like what do you feel overall London has given you? Which London really is just a metaphor for having the courage to change your life? >> Yeah, London is just like the symbolic I think start of this gap summer. But what was the question? What did I learn most from? >> What did London give you? >> Oh, what did London give me? London gave me the confidence to do life on my own. Like we are capable of doing things if we just try and put ourselves out there. And it also just like gave me like a spark of just like there's so much more out there than my hometown, which like I love my hometown. I love Dallas so much, but there is a big big world out there and like I want to explore it. I want to just like try new things. I want to meet new people. I want to do something that is outside my comfort zone. And I think that's what it is is just like shining the light to like there's so much more than your comfort of your routine. You [snorts] want to experience life. I want to experience life. I want to live. I want to laugh. I want to love. >> You want to live. I want to laugh. I want to love. And is that is that too much to ask? >> Yes. No. Literally, what's a girl to do? That's all we want in this life. That's all we want. It's not that hard. >> No, [laughter] it is. It is not that No, you have honestly just even since like I haven't even been able to see you since you got back from London. Oh, this is like our first rekindle. >> I know this is our first rekindle, but it's just been like you really even just before and you post London like there's just a different like spark in you. >> I love to hear that. >> And you know what? I love that you're very open and that you're talking about these things. >> I am which is not normal for me. This is like my exposure therapy. Like I know this is a podcast, but I hope you know you are my therapist right now. Well, here's the thing about Presley is that again, like we are complete opposites and I will tell my mailman anything and like Presley and I will go on trips together and I will literally bring cards and it will be like like conversation cards. I'm like, "Okay." I'm like, "You have to tell me this." And it'll be so >> what is your deepest darkest secret? I'm like >> And I'm like, "Shoot." Okay. [laughter] >> But no, like seriously, like you're very like open and just like I love this. >> Oh, thank you. Thank you. It was a long time coming, but I'm glad we're we're finally here. >> A new A true new lease on life. A true new leaf. Yeah. And I'm just I'm just so excited for what's to come. >> So excited. >> Um, can you let them know where they can find you as our Tik Tok manager? I'll have >> links. Yes, of course. So, my Instagram is press.styles. P R E S T Y L E S. And then my Tik Tok is just Presley Farah. P R S L I G H F A R R A H. Very long name. My dad was a huge Elvis fan. That's where I came from. Um, but yeah, I'm just documenting essentially my entire summer and then we'll just continue it after the summer is over of just trying to figure out 28 in life. So, also Presley is my friend that like any of our other friends like Dom or anything like it's funny cuz when Dom was visiting during my engagement she was like Presley just needs to be an influencer. I'm like we have been saying this to her and I'm like there is no excuse at this point. No, because you like you all of your friends at this point for the most part >> literally are full time. Yeah. like the people that you spend your time with and weekly travel with and stuff. >> My manager, I'm looking at her right now. >> Look at me. Literally, look at me. I'm like, you you've got this in the bag. >> Thanks, Queen. I'm feeling good about this. I'm feeling so excited. I'm just so happy to be here and to be able to chat with you. And I'm just thankful. I'm leaving today feeling thankful. >> I'm leaving today feeling proud [laughter] of Presley. >> Yay. Thank you so much for coming. I love you. >> Thank you for having me. I love you so much. Before we say farewell and I send you guys off, as always, we have to do our asking for a friend segment. This is our advice segment that is sponsored by a friend of mine, my home and hobby brand. You guys can use code houseg for 15% off your first purchase at shopbin.com. And if you guys want to submit a question to be featured in an upcoming episode, just DM us on Instagram. This one's a little wild, I'll be honest. Basically, a while back, I was dating my boyfriend of nearly 2 years. We are very much in love. our very lunch in love, not were. His mom and dad loved me. Past tense. Let's see where it went wrong. However, I was struggling with finances and I was not thinking right. So, while I was sleeping over his house, I stole some of her designer bags. His I just feel like this message like this isn't a real message, but like I it's a real message. I think his mom found out and obviously we had to separate ways because his mom didn't view me in the same light because I had breached I had caused a breach of trust between me and her and his mom thinks that I'm not a good fit for the family. To my boyfriend, my mistake was just careless in the moment and impulsive and it doesn't reflect my full character and he forgave me. Basically, I just wanted to ask if you were in his mom's position, would you forgive me? Let's say 3, four, 5 years from now, it's let us say going, "Girl, you got to move on. I think you got what you wanted from this. I think you got the bag. I think that wasn't the right move, but I I think you got to Sometimes our actions have consequences, girl. I think we got to move on from this. I would like to know one, what designer bag you stole. Two, did you sell it or did you keep it? Sounds like you sold it because you were wanting money. So, yeah, I think there I'm going to be honest there. I don't think there's any coming back from this. I think this is something you got to, for lack of a better term, we got to take the L on. Like, I think that this is something that we have to move on from. But just because I know that like Harrison would want the details, could you let us know what bag it was that you stole and if you sold it, how much you were able to sell it for? Cuz that could, you know, it could that could change some things. But I do think overall like you got to take the owl and you can't steal your boyfriend's mom's designer purses. Also interesting that you were sleeping over at this house with the boyfriend's mom there. Curious on some of the logistics. Anyway, I love y'all so much. I hope this episode was everything you could hope and dream for. Okay, I love y'all. I don't know how many times I can say that. And I will talk to you guys next Thursday.