If You Feel Fear or Anxiety, Listen to This | Trent Shelton on Impact Theory

Why do you think it's important to move towards things that scare you? Because on the other side of that is your growth. The other side of that is strength. Even in going through pain. Like I look at pain as a positive thing. I'm not talking about putting yourself through pain on purpose. But it's just like working out. You know, [music] the only way you're going to get strength in your life is if you go through that hard moment, that tough moment. I wouldn't have a story if it wasn't for the sucky times in my life. I wouldn't have a story if it wasn't for me going through my depressed moment. So, realize this. Just because it's a chapter, it doesn't mean it's your whole story. [music] So, for me, I just understand it's very important to embrace pain, to go through it because I believe the foundation of all strength is pain. Hey everybody, welcome to Impact Theory. Today's guest is a former NFL wide receiver and one of the biggest social influencers on the planet. His roughly 10 million followers on Facebook alone gets hundreds of thousands of shares per post, has a cumulative social reach of nearly 100 million people, and he's generated more than 1 billion views worldwide. He's considered by many to be one of the most impactful speakers of his entire generation, and as a result, he's been invited to bring his unique blend of motivation, wisdom, and performance art to stages from the US to Fiji to South Africa and just about everywhere in between. A powerful orator with a honed gift for spoken word, he's able to get through to a lot of people that otherwise feel alienated from the very idea of self-help. With a raw, no-holds-barred approach that absolutely drips with authenticity, he draws people in and gets them to take responsibility for themselves and begin taking the concrete steps that will help them actually improve their lives. So, please help me in welcoming the founder and president of the nonprofit organization Rehab Time, the author of The Greatest You, and the only man I know that can make poetry sound cool as hell, Trent Shelton. [cheering] [applause] Good to see you, man. Man, you too. Welcome. Man, thanks for having me. This is great. Man, you got people out here in force for you today, dude. This is cool. Love, man. I appreciate it. No question. Getting to know you has been really, really cool. I The first time we met, you were really quiet. You definitely made good on the the notion that you were secretly an introvert. So, I actually thought so people would Yeah, for sure. That is true. You're not somebody who needs the spotlight, but you've done an extraordinary job of impacting people's lives. And the whole notion that you have of your perspective can be your prison, I find really interesting. And I think a lot of people would have leaned into this, "Well, I'm an NFL guy. I'm introverted. I'm never going to get up on stage. It's never going to be my stick." How did you come to be the person that we all know today? Well, with me being an introvert, it doesn't mean I'm shy. You know, I always like to tell people like I think one of my greatest abilities, and I think one of the greatest abilities of people is being a listener. And so, I'm always observing. I'm always listening. I'm always, you know, looking out for new ideas. So, when I'm quiet, I'm usually thinking, you know? And my grandma told me this a long time ago, and I'll never forget it. Bless her soul. She said, uh, "When you speak, make sure your words count, and people will listen." And so, I just try to make my words count when I speak. And I never wanted to be a speaker, man. It wasn't like I grew up was like, "That's my goal. I want to be a speaker, you know?" No, it wasn't that. It was, uh, we'll get into this story, but it was me losing my NFL career and kind of getting forced onto a stage that I didn't want to do it, but my friend forced me in. I found my power in that moment. It was like, "Dang, this is what I was created to do." Like I really knew it. You know that feeling? And ever since then, man, it's been history. Now, the first time that you spoke was in front of 5,000 people. If Yeah, the first Yeah, the first big one. And so, like That's pretty crazy. Like, walk me through if you're not cuz you've said that that was your biggest fear, getting up in front of people. So, how did you get to the point where you could walk on stage? Like that I've done a lot of speaking. 5,000 is a big number. Like, that's not for play. And it was kids, too. So, that's even worse, man. You know, cuz I'm like, I know teenagers, I know how I was when I was a teenager. I'm like, "So, my friend, his name is Jonathan Evans, and he reached out to me and he talked me into it, man. And I was like, he used the notion of, "Are you scared?" This whole process. And I was like, it's like, "It's just 5 minutes." And you know, when you first start speaking, 5 minutes seems like 5 hours. So, I said, "You know what? Let me do it." I said, "I can go up there, talk about sports, they'll think it's cool, and I'll get off the stage." So, that whole night before, like, I prepared it like it was a like a literally a rap verse. I knew everything. I was like, "I'mma hit him right here. I got it memorized. I am good." So, I get to I get to the event and I'm backstage and Jonathan comes up to me. He's like, "Are you scared?" And I was like, "Yeah, bro. I'm really scared right now." He was like, "Man, don't worry about it, man. They'll love you. They'll love you." He's like, "Plus, you have your tattoos out. They'll just relate to you. They'll think you're a rapper, anyway." So, I get on stage and I remember looking out and 5,000 kids were looking at me and gave me that look and my eyes was like, "What is this guy about to talk about?" And I literally grabbed the microphone and I went blank. I forgot everything I prepared. Stage fright. And in that moment, I remember telling myself this, "You got a choice right now. Either you can fold or you can step up. Either you can sink or you can swim." And it's like, and I just said, "Go from the heart." And it connected with those kids like I've never seen before. Those kids were quiet, their eyes were big. After I got off the stage, they were asking me all these questions about life. I'm like, "I I know everything." They're [laughter] like, "What?" And um in that moment I was actually supposed to go to New Orleans the next day for an arena football. I signed with them. And I said, you know what? I'm not doing it. And I called the coach, and the coach he like literally hung up in my face. He's like, "What are you going to do?" I was I was like, "I'm going to be a speaker Rehab Time." He was like, "What's that?" And I was like, "Just going to be a speaker, man." He hung up quick. He's like, "Good luck." And he hung up. And then I called my friends and my mom, and those conversations didn't go like I thought they would go. You know, they wasn't My mom, she was supportive, but she was worried out of protection. And that's when Rehab Time started. I didn't have any followers, and um I walked into my purpose like without That's really stepping out on faith and fear. And I did it. I There's so much there I want to talk about. I want to come back though to something you said that I never picked up on in your story before. You said that he came at me, your friend who got you to speak, he came at me saying like, "Is this a fear thing?" Was he like poking you about it? Like, "Oh man, come on. You can't be afraid of this." Or Yeah, he was using that like the man thing, right? "Are you scared?" And I was like, "No, I'm not scared." And he just kept on like coming at me. And Jonathan, he's the type of guy that it's hard for you to say no to. Like, he's just He's just a guy that gets you to do things in a positive way. And yeah, he used that against me. He's like, "Man, I know you like if you was to rap, you wouldn't be scared. Playing football, you're not scared. Like, this is to impact kids. Like, why are you so scared?" And I was like, "I'm not scared. I just don't want to do it. You know, that's I want to play football. I'm not a speaker. That's not my gift." He was like, "I I think you'll surprise yourself." And literally, him pushing me on that stage changed my life forever. It's incredible. I love that he came after you like that. And I don't actually don't know how you feel about that. The using tactics like that to me, I'm all for. I use it on myself for sure. Like when I don't want to do something, I'll push myself to toughen up, man up, like you know, whatever language people use. But that's for sure what I tell myself. Do you use those kind of techniques on yourself? How do you feel about Big time. I call them leverage questions. And I gain leverage on myself all the time. Even when I'm speaking backstage, I'll always tell people as a speaker, I think if you're nervous, if you're scared, you're too into yourself. You're worried about you. You're worried about how you're going to sound. And as a speaker, your job is to be a servant. Your job is to go out there and serve them. Stop worrying about how you look, how you sound, and get more into serving. And so I would tell myself like, "You're being selfish right now." And I was like, "I don't want to be selfish, you know?" And so even when I'm scared or I have fear, I'll go to the point where my kids like I'll go there. Like my kids depend on you. Like I was actually running today by running a can. And I was like, "If I quit on here, I'm quitting on my kids." It's just things like that keep me pushing. That's as a sports player, I think it comes from that background. Yeah, leverage questions. I like that one. Yeah, leverage questions. Why do you think it's important to move towards things that scare you? Because on the other side of that is your growth. The other side of that is strength. Even in going through pain, like I look at pain as a positive thing. I'm not talking about putting yourself through pain on purpose, but it's just like working out. You know, the only way you're going to get strength in your life is if you go through that hard moment, that tough moment. I wouldn't have a story if it wasn't for the sucky times in my life. I wouldn't have a story if it wasn't for me going through my depressed moment. So, realize this, just because it's a chapter, it doesn't mean it's your whole story. So, for me, I just understand it's very important to embrace pain, to go through it because I believe the foundation of all strength is pain. All right, so speaking of chapters, I think that one of the most interesting thing that anybody can put themselves through is becoming a professional athlete. Um and I get that it's sort of wrapped up, but you talk a lot in the book about a champion's mindset. Yeah. How did you get to the point where you could push yourself as hard as you did to get into the NFL? I mean that's that's really extraordinary. You have a stat. What's the stat about the number of people that actually get into the NFL? It's less than 1%. It's like point zero zero zero point It's crazy. Yeah, it's And I told my son the other day, he's like, "I'm going to make it to the NFL." I was like, "You better be working harder than 99% of the people in the world." You know, it's very, very hard. And for me, it was all I ever wanted and knew. It was like no other option for me. So, that's the powerful thing about tunnel vision. Is that when you really focus on something, you really want it, it's very possible. But the thing is, a lot of people aren't willing to go through the hard times, putting in the work when nobody's looking. Think I tell my son all the time, I'm like, "Okay, you went to track practice, but guess what? This is something that everybody does. What are you going to do that your teammates aren't doing? Because you don't have to just be the best on your team, you got to be the best in your city, the best in your state, one of the best in the world to be able to make it. So, it's a whole different level of commitment, and that's where that championship mindset it came to me from." I want to talk about that. So, I don't know how much you know about Will Smith, uh but watching him from afar has been really, really intriguing. And he talked about on uh when they were doing The Karate Kid with his son. Yeah. And his son got hurt, like he injured his knee, and Will was like on him. He's like, "You got to get back out there. Like, you got to push." And Jaden's response, and he was way young, so give him like cut him some slack, but he was like, "I want mom." And like goes over with his mom, and people are like, "Will, why are you pushing him so hard?" And he said, "I'm teaching my son how to hunt." Yeah. And I thought, like it's giving me the chills now. Like, I thought that was really powerful. How do you think about that with your son? Do you Do you worry about pushing too hard? Do you worry about not pushing enough? Like, what is that relationship look like? So, with Tristan, I push him, but I want him to want it. I don't want him to want it because Daddy wants it for him. Because to me, that's great, but if I got to push you to do something, I'm there to support you, but if I got to push you to do it, it means you really don't want to do it. So, this whole process, I mean, he's 10 years old, and people thought like, you know, you see kids playing at 5 and 6, and their dad is like, you know, going super hard on their kids, and then I get it, but at the end of the day, I want him to want sports. I want him to want football. Like, you want to be a doctor, that's fine with me, but you got to understand the same mindset to be successful, you can take that in any field. So, you're going to play sports for the simple fact that I know this can build you up for whatever you want to do. It teach you perseverance. It teaches you how to handle pressure moments. It teaches you how to work hard. The ethics of like sports is great. But, at the end of the day, I'm like, "Tristan, I can want you to be a superstar, but when you really want it, like when it's like when you want to when you wake up at 6:00 a.m. without me waking you up, when you say, "Hey, I want to go work on routes." without me telling you, that's when you'll be a beast and that's when you'll be super successful at it. When did you start wanting success in football that badly? When I was six. Wow, man. What drove that? Probably want to be better than my two older brothers, but what really helped me was blessed enough I was able to live across the street from a professional football player. And it made it very tangible for me. Seeing like cuz you know, you're growing up, you see these sport your heroes as like you know, you think they're not human. And so, I was able to humanize like the dream at that moment in my life. I'm like, "Oh, this dude is just working hard. He's running around the block just like other people." And I got around that. My uncle, he still coaches for the Chargers, but he was coaching even back then when I was a little kid. So, I was blessed enough to be around it. I got to see Jerry Rice. I got to see T.O. And so, it made it real for me. So, I'm like, "If they can do it, they breathe just like I breathe. You know, they just work hard and they just want it." And so, at that moment I realized that it's super possible, but I knew I had to put in the work to actually make it a reality for me. Dude, I love that. I wish I had encountered that when I was young. The bad news is I don't know that it would have resonated with me when I was a kid. Yeah. I was not prepared to push myself physically to get good at something. When I was young, it was always about the easiest path for me. And I think about this a lot with people in my community, and I know you'll get this because you have such a thriving community. Yeah. But, the one thing I come back to all the time is I can't want it for you. That's right. And so, the thing that haunts my dreams is how do you help people create desire? And should you? What do you think about that? Like, so there's the whole Buddhist phrase that all of suffering is born of desire, which I actually think is true. And yet, I think some of the greatest joys are born of desire. And so, my thing is I've gone all the way in on desire. Like, building desire to want something, to need it, even though objectively it like there's really nothing to it. How do you think about want and desire? Well, the leverage that I use with my supporters is I mean, at the end of the day people say, "Oh, Tren, you changed my life." And I'm totally against that. Like, I'm like, "I didn't change your life. I'm not a life changer. I just plant seeds. Like, you had to make the decision to actually apply and actually do it." But, I use the leverage question of "When you get to your last day on Earth, when you're sick, are you going to look back and realize that you wasted your whole entire life settling for less, not being who you're created to be?" And even with myself, like, I don't want to look back on life like that. I don't want to go to my grave with incompletion. So, I talk to them like that. Some of you are going to go to your gravesite with incompletion. I don't know who said this quote, but they said, "You know, the richest place on the world is in the graveyard." And it's true because there's so many dreams, talents, and visions in there that people, for whatever reason, fear, you know, just life, they never unwrap those gifts. And when I talk to them about that, I used to actually This might seem weird, but I used to actually go to the cemetery. Really? Yep. And I would bring one of my friends with me. And um I would say, "Bro, we walked around there. It's like, this is reality. Like, we're going to be here." And we walked around and we looked at the tombstones. And like, death has no you know, has no age. There were people that were three, people that were 80. And it's like, I'm going to be here one day. And when I'm here, I want to have a fulfilled life. I don't want people to talk about me at a funeral and make up stuff. I want it to be like, Trent really served this world. And he really used his life not just for himself, but to impact other people. And so, I'm just I know I go back to leverage, but I'm big on that. And that like flips the switch for me like, time is ticking. And so, you either can waste your day or you can do something with it. One of the chapters in your book, if I'm not mistaken, it was the last chapter, is about legacy. Yeah. How do you think about legacy? I like personally, I don't think a lot about legacy. I think a lot about phases of our lives. So, I I fully resonate with what you're saying about walking around the graveyard, which I would love to do with you someday. That would be surreal. Um but how do you conceptualize that? Do you have markers in your head about what you're striving towards? Like how deep do you go in sort of the like we're all headed to the grave? Yeah, I don't I don't get to the particular parts of it like, you know, like how my funeral's going to be set up. That creeps me out. [laughter] So, I don't get that in depth, but I do think about like the question that I ask myself and it's come up a lot more to me, you know, and I I haven't figured out why. But I ask myself, you know, like what really matters? And there's a quote by Bob Goff and I'm probably not going to get this right. But he said basically like, his biggest fear was like being successful at the wrong things. And the quote is like way more beautiful than that, but I'm paraphrasing. It's like, I used to have a fear of not succeeding, but my fear now is succeeding at the wrong things. And I think about that a lot. Like what's really going to matter at the end of my life? And I literally prioritize my life around that. I heard you say something once you want to talk about. I'm going to butcher one of your just insanely eloquent and beautiful quotes, but you said, uh you're not a success unless you're a success to your family. Yeah. And I thought that was really interesting. Something because I don't have kids I don't spend a lot of time thinking about, but I do think a lot about what my wife thinks of me. Like that's a a far more powerful motivator to me. And then you talked about how basically how do you feel about yourself? And if you don't feel good about yourself then you've got some fundamental flaw that you need to address. How do you help people begin to take stock of where they're at with themselves? Reality. So I have a rehab process and the first R is reality. It's facing your reality. Too many people run from it. You know, my quote is you'll never win your war by running from your battles. And so you got to step up and you got to face it. I don't care what it is. It might be something in your past. It might suck to face it. For me it was facing that my dream was over, my identity. So for somebody watching this it might be a relationship, it might be a job. But I kept running. And the thing about it like you can run all you want but reality is going to be right there when you stop and it's going to chase you. Or even if it doesn't chase you it's going to be right there. You have to face it. So I really let people know that acknowledgement is power. People think if I acknowledge that I'm hurt or I need help I need help is the most powerful thing that you can say. And I realized that in my life because immediately you have people that are going to help you and grow your life. Exposing yourself like in a positive way obviously, but expose yourself. We think that we always have to be so sheltered that we have to be so strong especially with the social media world. It's like oh I have to have everything together. That's like a silent depression that's going to happen. When you suppress things like that, when you smile for the camera but die behind the scenes which I did so well for so long in my life you're never going to fool the person that you see in the mirror every single day. So I've got really comfortable with saying I suck at this. I need help. And literally in my business life, in my personal life in the last year it's been the greatest year of my life just by asking for help and exposing my weaknesses in certain areas. Yeah, it's interesting your obsession with authenticity with being really who you are at all times I think is is really cool to see you um get the kind of community that you've gotten around that being vulnerable and opening yourself up. Um but what I find really interesting is you're also the flip side of the coin. So as you were talking I was like, he's absolutely right. But the reason that I'm willing to listen to you about it is cuz you're also driven. You're trying to improve yourself. You are trying to be great. You are trying to be strong and tough. Yeah. I'm not afraid. Yeah. Like how do you do both? I just I'm I'm real with myself. And I'm honest. Like we're humans. You know I mean [laughter] everybody isn't on all the time, you know. We all have our struggles, our silent battles as I like to call them. And instead of ignoring those silent battles, I let them out. But yes, I am a person that's will tell you make the world respect your greatness. I'm very firm on that. I'm a person that believes in myself. I'm a person that wants you because I believe that's contagious. Like even with social media, I feel like that's what really grew my platform. It's people looked at my life not because of my knowledge or whatever. It's like Trent really believes this. Like he really does. He really lives it. He really He doesn't just talk it or type it. He lives it. And that's a big thing for me. You know, I can tell people a secret, right? Be transparent like in a real way because that creates connection. Now it's like I can relate to that person. You know, growing up in the church, I'mma be real with you Tom. Like I would watch pastors and preachers and I would be like I could never be them. Cuz it was always perfection. I was like I can never be them. So I just chose a different lifestyle. But now when I see people like say, you know what? I struggle with this. I struggle with addiction. Doesn't mean you're not awesome because you have addictions. Everybody has addictions. Everybody has ba- battles. Some people just hide theirs better. So I relate more to that because now it becomes attainable. Now you become relatable to me and I can be like wow, like I can still grow through this. It's nothing wrong with me. I'm a human. I'm going to have my insecurities, my flaws and I can actually grow from it. So I think we need more examples of the world of that. And that's what I just try to give people as much as I can. You have a great way of like packaging things up in these really memorable phrases. One you said earlier that I want to get back to is you said a lot of people never unwrap their gift. Yeah. And that really hit me. What is that look like? Like how does one unwrap their gift? Yeah, it's it's a process. It's a process of I think facing fear. I mean and we can talk about fear for it like cuz facing fear is is super important and we can talk about like my process with that I think in order to unwrap your gift. So I'm not going to go into my skydive story. That'll take forever. But I realized like what fear is, right? And for me fear is creating a known result, right? From a situation you haven't experienced yet. And so when I used to go back to football when I would be scared to go out there and perform I'd be like, you know what? I'm going to drop the ball. I'm going to miss a pass and the whole crowd of 80,000 people is going to be like So I'm like I'm scared now. Stage, when I'm on stage before I was speaking what do you think I was thinking? I'm going to freeze up again. Nobody's going to care. All of these things I realized that I was creating a result before I ever experienced it. And so I said, "Hmm, if that's the case I need to create something better on the other side of that door. Something more empowering that's going to force me to actually go through the door. So now when I speak I say, "You know what? I'm going to impact at least one life." So go out there and do it. You know, when it comes to my skydiving of course that thing was the parachute is not going to open you're going to die. Question I want to jump out of plane. But I immediately changed that to this is going to be the most incredible thing and also leverage where now I can use this in every area of my life because I conquered my biggest fear. So people out there that are going through fearful moments it's kind of like this. You will never step into the ring if you're already telling yourself that you're going to lose before the fight. You'll never do that. Like why would you, right? So tell yourself you're going to win. Even if you get knocked down, guess what? You're never knocked out in life until you actually tap out until your last day. So, figure out that leverage point with your fear. What's going to help you walk through the door, and then you have to just give it to the world. I never knew speaking was my gift until I actually went out there and failed, actually went out there and embarrassed myself. And I realized like, "Wow, this is what I was created to do." And I knew that because I like to put it like this. I hope they get it that's watching this, but I've never had so much like peace in the midst of like fear. Never had so much confidence in the midst of like my weakness in that moment. And so, when it comes to gifts, think about it like this. Like, when someone gives you a physical gift at Christmas and your birthday, what do you do? You unwrap it, you show it to the world, you put it on Instagram. You got that same gift inside you that the world needs, and you're doing the world a disservice by leaving your gift wrapped up. Somebody needs your story. My mom told me this and I'll never forget it. She said, "Trent, you're assigned to reach people. I don't know how many, but you're assigned to reach people that nobody else can reach but you." She said, "Everybody has that." And the more you leave your gift wrapped, those people that need your message, that need your encouragement, whatever it is, that need your talent, they're never going to get it. And you're not going to leave this world a better place. I know people watching right now are thinking one question. What is my gift? Yeah. I want to unwrap it all day long. Yeah. How do people identify what their gift is enough to be able to unwrap it? This is a This is a good question. This is deep. So, can we talk about purpose for a minute? And go into this. So, this is my way of purpose, and I've never heard nobody talk about this, and some people might be like, "That's not right." But everybody tells you to find your purpose, right? And I'm just like, "Where?" Like, who has your purpose? Like, the world? Doubt the world has your purpose. The world might have your validation of who you are. They might be like, "Oh, you're great at this." And so, they give you that validation. Talk about this in the book. I believe, and I realized this like last year, and I actually wrote this chapter. I went back and I changed it all because I'm like, "I'm telling to people telling people to search for purpose." I believe you are purpose. I believe you are purpose. You're created for a purpose. Like, we know the statistics. Like, a 0% chance of you being you. You are that. So, when you operate from there, it gives you that confidence that I am that. It's not something I have to search for. You can take your life wherever you want to take it. What you're looking for is placement. Right? It's like, so for me, rehab time is not my purpose. It's my placement. Interesting. I can take Trent to down the street and go impact lives because I am purpose. Right? Football, if I my mom was right back then, I could use that platform to be who I am. So, you can take your life anywhere, and I want people to know that because some people think when you lose your dream or you lose something, that it's over. But, you didn't lose who you are. You lost that thing, that placement. Right? You So, that's what I think about purpose, and I would tell people like understand what your magnet is. And when it comes to that, ask people. And so, when I look back over my life, ever since I was 5 years old, people have been telling me I had this gift. But, I was so focused on what I wanted to do that I couldn't even hear that. Yeah, that's really interesting to me, the notion of the difference between what you want and where you thrive. That's definitely using my words, not yours, but yeah. Um that whole dynamic is interesting. Another thing that you've said that I'm really drawn to is um I think you were talking at one point and you said, "Hey, if you've got like a garbage part of your personality, don't pretend that it's not there. Don't pretend it doesn't need to be improved. Like, address that. Make the change." And that, like, it's that realism of you've got like the the painting the picture of the dream and the gift, and you are purpose and all that, but also recognize that you may have these really dysfunctional parts of your personality. How can people address a dysfunctional part of their personality? Yeah, I think you have to you just have to face it and deal with it. Like I think it's just too hard to suppress it. It's too hard to ignore it. And so you have to be honest with yourself and truthful with yourself. And I think a lot of times what it is is for me I was expecting things from people that I wasn't giving to people. And so that's very very selfish. You know, so I had to look at myself and say, you know what? This part of my personality needs to be changed and needs to be fixed. So it's that reality that you have to have with yourself and that that truthfulness and not knowing that it doesn't make you weak by admitting these things. It doesn't make you less by admitting these things. And I bring it back to social media because this this generation it's the filter life. You know, like even in real life like everybody wants to put up this filter and they think that's their superpower. But your superpower is literally just being real. And that's where you grow at. Like you have to acknowledge that I need help in this area. I have faults. I have flaws right here. Let me fix these things and that's going to make you more of a a superhuman. You just mentioned suppression. You've talked about how suppression leads to depression. Yeah. Talk to me about that. Why does that happen and why does it matter? It matters a lot. Um you know, just to even for me even to get to that point of understanding that you know, my one of my best friends committed suicide. And that changed my life. Like when we talk about going to the graveyard, was right around right after that time when I started to think about life and what's going on. And I realized that he was suppressing so many things. He didn't have an outlet. And I mean if we take from a physical standpoint, I mean if you keep suppressing something, what's going to happen? It's going to explode at one point. And so what you don't face are things that you know you don't fix. And so for me it's about letting it out. You know, a lot of my videos people don't realize like therapy is not a weakness, especially as for men. Like go to therapy. Have somebody you can talk to. Have a brotherhood of manhood. Have somebody you can Same thing with women. You got to have your clique of people where you can have open dialogue without being judged to be able to let these emotions out because those If you don't deal with your pain, your pain will definitely deal with you. It will. And I've been there before. I've been like I said the person that would say I'm okay when I'm not okay. When I was sitting in my mom's room, my mom would say, "Trent, are you good?" Yeah, I'm good. When I wasn't good at all. And I got to those moments where I don't know if it was suicidal thoughts, but I didn't care about living. If something happened to me, might be better off because my life is over. That's the way I felt. And so I had to let those things out and my way at that time was music. With your mindset, how are you dealing with your mom's cancer? Yeah, it's hard. It's very hard. My mom had cancer and what made it hard was she beat stage four liver and breast and I'm with her at the at her last treatment. She rings the bell and she's like, "Trent, I don't feel and it's on my Instagram like she's where she rings the bell and she says, "Trent, I don't feel something don't feel right." I'm like, "Mom, you're all right. You just saying your mind." She goes to the doctor that next maybe two days later and they find out after test that she has brain cancer. So at that moment I'm like, "It's not fair." You know, and I start questioning my faith. And I have to do like a deep search and a deep dive of you know, understanding it and and finding a perspective. My perspective was my prison at that point. And what what really helped my perspective and I wish it wouldn't have helped, but it did. Um my best friend's mother died in her sleep. Didn't have anything. And so I told my mom, I was like, "Mom, as much as this sucks, you're still here. You having to go through treatments means you're still alive. That pain means you're still alive. And that's the perspective that I'm taking with it now. Like there's people who wish they could have this pain. There's people who wish they could you know, be alive to even feel cancer. And uh she's progressing with it though and uh it's hard, man. I tell people all the time I don't know the exact words to even tell people how to how I'm dealing with it. You know, I'm just trying my best to be strong for her and try to see the beauty in it. Wow, that's interesting. I did not expect you to say that. How do you see the beauty in cancer? In in anything like that? Well, it's for me seeing that she still has an opportunity to overcome it. And I think, you know, it's that it's that power of perspective in that and saying, "You know what? Her life might not be how she wants it to be, but at least she has life." And that's how I look at my life at times and everybody should look at their life. Yeah, life might not be adding up to what you want it to add up to, but at least you have another Every single day is a new beginning. Every day is a new beginning and certain days aren't going to look like you want them to look, but at least you have another chance. Like 100 and I tell this stat all the time, 150,000 people die every day. That's 55 million people a year. If you're looking for a blessing, put your hand over your heart, realize that's your blessing. You have another opportunity at life. And that's why I'm so intrigued and this is like geeky probably, but I'm so intrigued with sunrises and sunsets. A sunrise lets me know that I have another day and a sunset means I made it through another day. And so I'm I love sunrises and sunsets and I thank God for it. It's really interesting you just hit me with that because today in particular the I had so much to do self-created. I don't ever have to work again if I don't want to, but I had so much that I had allowed to be on my plate that the sunrise was almost frustrating for me because it meant the time was going by. Mhm. And I just wanted it to stay dark and I wanted to have more time to work and get something done. As you were saying, I was like, "Fuck, man, that's a really powerful perspective shift to like one simple difference of framing of like you know, wow, I'm here. I have the opportunity to have a lot on my plate and to dig through it. That's uh Just and it was a point like that's funny you said a lot a lot on your plate. I don't know what rapper is. I think it's Lil Wayne. I think he says like a lot on my plate is not my favorite dish. He said that and I think it's a genius line because I'm like, that is like that is true because there were times like cuz I went I go through these moments like I'm flying everywhere and I'm just like, gosh, I got to fly here. Like my book is like this is crazy and I I caught myself. I'm like, bro, like, do you realize the life that you have right now? There will be times like you dreamed of this. You know, even if Of course I thought it would be football, but like you dreamed of this. You You didn't have nothing on your plate. And you were you would pray to have anything on it. So, don't get, you know, of course I don't want to overwhelm myself with stuff, but don't complain when you have too much on your plate because there's people that have nothing on it. And so that those are the perspective shifts that I use like a lot every single day. Every time I'm complaining, I go to that. Like, you're blessed to be able to be in this position. Like, you wanted this. This was your dream, you know? So. For sure. You talked about mental health earlier. Yeah. Like So, okay, you hike for your own mental health. What are other things? You work out like a demon. Is that Is that a mental health thing for you? So, walk us through what are the things you do to really take care of yourself? So, um I guess to put it in a framework, it might seem corny, but I call it the four A's. Um and it's simple. I mean, of course there's science behind it with the brain and oxytocin and dopamine and all these things that are released. But so, I start with appreciation for me. Like appreciation. So, um for me, that is whatever it is that day. Appreciation for life, my breath, my kids, whatever. Roof over my head, all of those things. I thank God for it. The second thing that I do, and I do these I try to do them every morning. When I don't do them, I can definitely feel a difference. The second thing is affection. You know, I give my wife I take my son to school every day, give him a hug, give my daughter, if she's awake, a hug. Cuz I always say a hug a day keeps depression away. Hugs Hugs really help you, like there's science behind it. And then, the third thing is accomplishment. So, I always set up one win for me, whatever that is. That could be I used to It's funny. I used to have a a basketball goal. I don't know if you heard this story, but I had a basketball goal outside. We got rid of it, but I would put it like on 7-ft because I was like, I can dunk 10, but I was like, it's early in the morning, like I can't jump that high early in the morning. I would dunk it cuz you know you ever dunked a goal you know a ball before? very low hoop. But how did it make you feel? Yeah, good. Right? Makes you feel like good and powerful, you know? So, I would dunk it to start my day. Start my day off with power. And we got rid of the goal, so I can't do that no more. But that would be my my win. I always have some type of win, whether it's writing in a journal. And then, the fourth thing is activity, which is me working out, me training. So, before 12:00 p.m. for me is me being selfish in self-care. Like my family knows, everybody knows, before 12:00 p.m. don't hit up Trent unless you really need to. Dude, starting with power, that's really rad. It makes me about why that one, I think it's so cool that you can you know yourself well enough to know that lowering the hoop to 7-ft and dunking the out of it is like going to actually make you feel some kind of way because dude, I'm the same way. Like whether it's putting on music or you know, doing something like that where it's like, yeah, I still feel rad. Like even though objectively like Kobe be laughing his ass off. Like it's still there's something to it. Um what what's the usefulness of that? Well, I just believe in the in in these words, how you start your day will influence your day. So, if you roll over and you know, of course, grab your phone like most people do. I do sometimes and I feel the effects of that because now I'm living a responsive life. Now, I'm not controlling life, right? Now, life is taking me where life wants to take me and some plat- times that place isn't beautiful. I've learned by being around incredible people, they're very intentional with their day and how they start their day. They lead life. They tell life where life is going to go. So, if life gives you stress and you're responsive, you're probably going to have a stressful day. But, if you're intentional and life gives you stress, you kind of have a a armor already in place to like, ah, okay. That I'm bulletproof to that right now. I'm going to keep on pushing and keep on pressing. So, how you start your day will influence your day. Those are words that I wake up to every single day in my head. It's like, start your day off with power so you can operate throughout this day with power. And it usually works out in my favor. I love that. Yeah, I think it will work out for anyone who tries it. Yeah. The greatest you. Yeah. Tell people where they can find it. Yeah, the greatest you, um, you can go to the greatest you book.com. Of course, my website Trent Shelton.com and all my social media at Trent Shelton. So, any and anywhere it sells books has it. Yeah, the book is fire. Appreciate it, man. Socials are insanity and the book I think is just another way to consolidate all that and give it to people. Yeah. So, people like your socials, they're going to love the book. Thank you. Really did a great job with that. All right, what's the impact that you want to have on the world? [snorts] I want to make sure everybody knows that they're enough. No matter what they go through, what they've been through, that they are enough. The number one cause for anything is people not knowing that they're enough. They feel like they're not enough. So, when they run into me, anything that I do, stage, book, video, I want them to leave there knowing that despite life sucking right now, despite this chapter, I am enough. And so, when I leave this earth, people say Trent really cared and he let people know that, you know, they can really make people confident in their self-worth and who they are as a person, then I think that would be a great legacy for me to leave. You know, one of the things that I tell people is that, you know, just because you have some bad chapters doesn't mean your story can't end well. And every story has bad chapters. It's about you finding the strength to turn the page. And even with my faith, I believe this, that God will allow you to go through places you don't understand just to bring you to the place where he needs you to be. And so, hold on to that in your struggle, in your journey, in your pain. And then turn your pain from your worst enemy to your best friend. Do that. Use pain, don't let it use you. How How do you use pain? Well, my life is a perfect example. I flipped it, and now I help people get through that because I've been through it. You know, if I handed you a map and I never hiked the trail, and I said, "Hey, Tom, go hike this trail." I've never been I mean, I I don't hand you a map. I say, "Tom, go hike this trail." But I've never been on it. You'd look at me like, "I ain't hiking that trail." But if I say, "Hey, I hiked this trail. This is how you do it. Here's a map." You would take it. You would go through there with confidence. And so, when you go through things, when you go through the experience, you become an expert at it. Right? And you help others get through it. So, you go through it to help others get through it. So, there's a purpose greater than your pain. I promise you that. Everybody, the map maker, Trent Shelton. Thank you, brother. I appreciate it. for being here. [applause] You're incredible. Thank you, bro. It was amazing. Guys, I'm telling you this guy is every bit of accolade he's ever received. He's earned every shred, every follower, every like, every share. It It's astonishing. Dive in. It will change you if you let it. He's extraordinary. All right, if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe. And until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care. Brother, holy Appreciate it. That was amazing, bro. You're amazing, man. If you want something, if you have a passion in your heart, fire in your belly, it's going to be you. It's going to be you getting up early. It's going to be you staying up late. It's going to be you running the miles and and going to the gym and eating the kale and doing all the crap that you don't It's only going to be you.