IELTS Writing Task 2: Causes and Solutions Essay

Today we have Ramy who has never done the IELTS writing test before but he wants a band eight or maybe even a nine. So we're going to help him go through an entire essay step by step. The best thing about this is it's an interactive lesson so you can play along at home. So first thing we're going to do is look at the question. Read the question. Have a think about it. Think about what it is actually asking you to do. Pause the video and think about it yourself, too. All IELTS task two questions have a statement. It gives you information about it, background, context, and then it will give you instructions. It'll tell you what to do. So, let's ignore the instructions for now. What is this actually talking about? What is the general topic? >> I guess it's uh that people are not consuming as much literature >> in general. Um whether or not that is a fact I'm not sure. >> Mhm. So you say literature is that uh >> in form of books >> and is that fiction, non-fiction or just books in general? >> Books in general. >> Yeah. Good. And what is the time frame? Is there any time frame or anything? >> It's uh than ever before. So they're comparing the present uh to the past. >> How significant do you think that is so ever before? How would that influence your answers? Uh I think it greatly influences my answer because you know it's uh it's talking about the current times. >> It's pretty straightforward. I think the only thing that we would really need to think about is that it is comparing present with the past. But we understand that. Let's move on to the instructions. So they're asking you to do two things. >> What are the main causes of this? All right. So the key word there is causes. >> Yeah. >> What is causing this? uh we don't need to think about that right now >> but it's just you need to be aware of this is a causes and then what measures can be taken to address it. >> Another way of saying that would be solutions. >> Mhm. >> So this is a causes and solutions. So at the end of your essay >> the examiner should be able to look at that and understand >> what do you think about this and what do you think about this? In other words, what do you think the causes are of this and what do you think the solutions are of this? >> All right. >> Yeah. >> Any questions about that so far? >> Um, does it matter if I agree or disagree with their statement? >> No. >> Okay. >> No. Some people do that. So, in the essay they start to say, well, >> I don't actually agree that that people aren't reading fewer books than before. I actually read a lot of books and I know a lot of people who read books and actually >> that's not what it's asking me to do. All it is testing is when you move to London or New York or Sydney or Toronto, an English-sp speakaking country, >> and you get a job there and you have to write an email or a letter or a report for your boss. Can you clearly communicate in English? >> Okay, >> so don't get in the way of that by making it more complicated than it needs to be. But that was an excellent question because so many people do over complicate it. do exactly what they tell you to do which is these are the instructions. >> Mhm. >> This you just need to understand this. So they are saying >> in general they believe that >> what do you think causes this and what solutions can be taken. Okay. So once we understand the question we need to think of ideas. I've given you three possibilities and people at home have a look at these pause the video think about which ones would be best to answer the question. Not the best idea, the most advanced idea, but which ideas would help you answer the question? >> So, if we take possibility number one, young people find books boring. Is that true? >> I don't necessarily believe so. >> That is a little bit vague and you could argue that it's not actually true. And you don't want to be spending your time writing an essay thinking like or trying to convince someone that what you're saying is actually true. I think that would be quite difficult to actually write about. Okay. >> And books are too expensive. Are they? >> I mean, you can go to the library in a lot of places. >> Online PDFs are are free for a lot of people. So try and avoid things that are very vague >> and difficult to write about and try and avoid things that are not maybe not necessarily factually correct. >> Okay. >> Have a look at possibility three. Do you think that's good, not good? >> Um I think you know it's highly dependent on the geographical location. Yeah. >> Uh so whether or not people have access to libraries. >> Yeah. So people don't have access to libraries. Most places they do. Yeah, you know they do. >> Reading is not taught properly. >> I don't think this would be an example of someone taking a very extreme position like a lot of people believe this like for example reading is not taught properly in school >> but that's because of their >> political persuasion or they have some kind of chip on their shoulder like it's a personal thing. You want when you're writing an academic essay to be very reasonable, very and not take very extreme positions. >> So try and avoid vague things. Try and avoid extreme positions and try and avoid things that are maybe not correct. But if we have a look here, smartphones and social media take up people's free time. >> Yeah. >> Is that reasonable? >> It is. That was what I was thinking before I even read the possibilities. >> It would be difficult to argue against this. >> Yes. >> All right. All right. It it does take up many people's free time. Um, streaming services like Netflix and you and YouTube offer easier entertainment than books. Would you say that's reasonable? >> Yes, it was very reasonable. >> Reasonable in the context of writing an essay means you can give reasons for it. Now, you could disagree with that and give other reasons, but someone couldn't say you're being unreasonable if you if you say that because you could provide reasons to back that up. >> Yeah. >> And then schools should encourage students to read more. Is that reasonable? >> Yeah, very reasonable. Uh, families should set aside time for reading together. >> Also reasonable. >> You've never done the test before. >> Are any of these ideas like not what you were expecting to be in an essay or >> although someone maybe could argue that these are maybe not their personal preference. They're definitely not as extreme as the other possibilities. >> Yeah. So, a good way to think about it is imagine we went out on to the streets. You know the Tik Tok videos where they interview people and imagine we interviewed 100 people and we asked them this why are why are fewer people reading books today than before. >> Yeah. >> 90 of them would probably say smartphones and social media. The other 10 might say something like well people are watching Netflix and YouTube. Instead of thinking of what is the best idea just what is the most common idea or what is the simplest idea and then you said that this one was the first thing that you thought of. often the first thing that pops into your head is the best thing because that's the the thing that is the simplest to think about of and is the one that you access right away which normally means it's right now you shouldn't >> accept that right away you should you know filter it through your normal filter of is this right is this reasonable but just always think does this actually answer the question is this relevant to the question is it reasonable because you have to you haven't done IELTS before but you have to back these up with explanations. >> Mhm. >> And examples. Always pick ideas that are >> relevant, easy to think of, easy to explain. You can think of examples. And most importantly, >> think of the reader, the person reading this essay. >> Would they be able to read those ideas and think like, "Yeah, I I totally understand these. I know exactly what he's talking about." >> We have looked at >> understanding the question. And that's the first thing understand the question what is asking you to do then we have looked at idea generation >> next we need to think about how would we actually structure this essay so there are five different types of essay there's agree or disagree which is asking for your opinion discuss both views which is asking you to discuss why opposite ends of the spectrum different views on something >> there are advantages and disadvantages >> problem and solution >> cause and solution >> okay This is a cause and solution. Okay, so there are five different types of questions. Each requires a unique strategy. I'd like to give you this for free as well as all the other structures for all the other types of questions. Not only am I going to give you the strategy, but we have created checklists for you. We've given you a process diagram that you can go through to make sure that you're writing everything. And the best thing about it is you can just follow that and learn at home for free. If you want that PDF, it is 100% free or gift to you. Just go below into the description, click on the link, and you can download all of the structures for every type of question for free. So, what I want you to do is I'm going to give you three different structures. >> Okay? [snorts] >> I want you to think about which structure in par a paragraph structure would be best to answer that question. So structure number three, you know, I think it's the least uh viable one because it emphas emphasizes uh opinions. >> My opinion >> and did the question ask for your opinion? >> No. >> Good. Excellent. So only do what they ask you to do. Okay. >> Um if you don't do what they ask you to do, number one, you could get a lower mark because you haven't answered the question. number two and number two normally you run out of time because you start to write about a bunch of stuff that's not really in the question and then you look at the oh I haven't actually said the causes so yeah not good >> all right so what's the difference between these two >> the difference is that this uh first one tackles each cause uh on its own I guess like it gets like it's alphabetical or like >> yeah it's a lot more logical >> so it's like what is the cause and then what is the solution to that cause. >> The problem with that one is >> you have to think of a cause and solution that are linked. >> So this has to be linked to here and this has to be linked here. >> Sometimes students can do that easily. It depends on the question. It depends on the student. But most of the time students it makes it more difficult than it needs to be. With everything with IELTS, we want to do things that are easier on to make our preparation time easier and our test day easier. >> So, we only do difficult things if it actually helps us improve our score. >> Okay. Nice. >> This doesn't help us improve our score. >> Nice tip. >> And this is easier and you will get the same score. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had that in my mind like this one is a lot easier but and it's more natural. Mhm. >> But I assume that they want the thing that sounds more coherent. Maybe >> what a lot of students believe is that in order to get a high score, they need a complex structure or there's a band night structure or something like that. That doesn't exist. >> All exists is this is the structure that we have found over the last, you know, nearly 20 years of >> it gets the job done and it makes your life easier. So, we're going to pick this structure. And luckily for you, I printed this out for you. >> Okay. >> So, this is the structure in a little bit more detail. It's four paragraphs, our introduction, conclusion at the end, and then our two main body paragraphs. First one is going to be causes, second one is going to be solutions. All right? Then we go into a little bit more detail here on what you're going to include. But basically, the introduction is going to introduce the causes and solutions. Mhm. >> Then we're going to go into more detail. We're going to say, "Here's the first cause. We're going to explain that. Here's the second cause. Going to explain that one. [clears throat] Here's the first solution. Explain that. Here's the second solution. Explain that." It asks for causes, plural, and solutions plural. So, we're going We have two causes and two solutions. >> Mhm. It says here explain example example explain here these are interchangeable so you could explain and give an example here and then but just you have limited time so >> probably don't put two examples in and examples are difficult for many people to remember or sorry to think of. So one example and it can be here or we could put it in here. you need to explain both of them, but the example can be here or up here to you. Okay? >> Whenever. So, we'll you can keep this with you. Um, and then we'll refer to this throughout the lesson. >> So, the first paragraph that we're going to write is our introduction. So, we're going to look at it in a little bit more detail. These aren't necessarily sentences, but they're they're elements. They're things that we would include in the actual introduction. I've given you three possibilities. Look at the three possibilities and tell me which one you think is correct. Playing at home, pause the video, have a think about it. >> Um, I think um, possibly introduction number one is like >> the correct the better one. >> Yeah, good. What is wrong with introduction to? I guess it's uh it's I don't know too too disattached you know from uh what they were asking for maybe like uh the introduction number one like encompasses all of the elements like the causes the solutions and the question but the I didn't see any of that in number two. >> Yeah. And and it's telling you to write a hook like you're a YouTuber you know you know what a hook is. >> Yeah. That would be good for a YouTube video. Do do we need to write a hook in an essay that we're paying someone to to look at to assist? >> No. The examiner is being paid to he doesn't [laughter] he or she does not need to be, you know, uh hooked hooked in. Um but it's a very common thing where um people think that they need to have a hook in there because it's a very common way of um that essays are taught. >> But no, any problems with this? >> I I didn't necessarily see a problem to be honest. The key problem is this word. Why would that be an issue? >> Yeah, they didn't ask for an explanation maybe. >> Yeah. So, explain would being quite detailed. You're not going to put any detail in an introduction. Introduction is just saying >> here's here's what I'm going to write about. Okay. It's just introducing what you're going to write about. You're not going to go into indepth at all. >> Um, but also it's not asking you for problems. It's asking you for causes. M >> so a lot of people get mixed up between problems and causes. >> So why is this a problem is a different answer to >> what are the causes of this. All right? So don't get mixed up between >> why this is a problem versus the cause of the problem. >> Like uh the cause is what made it happen but the but the reason it's a problem is completely a different thing completely. >> Yeah. So this one does exactly what we should be doing. Paraphrase the question. This just lets the examiner know you've understood the question. Yeah. And you can paraphrase because if you can paraphrase means that you've good vocabulary, good grammar, and then briefly here are the causes, here are the solutions. This tells the examiner that you've understood the instructions. You've understood this is what um the causes are. This is what the solutions are. This is exactly what you asked me to do. >> And it also just makes it easier to read. Another way to think about it is flag. you're waving a little flag saying this is the topic I'm going to talk about to make it easier for for the person. So the first thing we're going to do in the introduction is we're going to paraphrase. So paraphrase means that you change the words but you don't change the meaning. All right? So you don't need to change every single word but you should change enough so that you know it looks different. >> Okay? uh I can't give you an exact number of words or percentage of words but it just should look significantly changed but the meaning must remain the same. >> What I would like you to do is just attempt that first and then we can talk about your attempt. >> So individuals have become increasingly reluctant to engage with literature in temporary society. Should I re redo it? >> No, no, just it's a normal mistake. So, just just correct it. Yeah. Contemporary society. All right. So, we had one little issue here which was you were trying to use quite an advanced word contemporary. >> Why do you think you wrote temporary instead of contemporary? I do think it's sleep honestly, but it could be also because you know I'm thinking about uh the time like the recent time because that's the question is that than ever before. >> It could also mean that you're just thinking of too many things at the same time. I had this mistake when I was younger where I would be thinking of the next word and I would make I would misspell that word and my teachers were just like just focus on one word at a time and I was like no I'm thinking about what to write here and what to write here and what to write there. They're like, "No, just slow down." And uh so that that might help you. So reluctant. What does reluctant mean? >> It's like they're hesitant. >> It kind of means that they might like to, but there there's something stopping them. I don't think that that actually means the same thing as this is a little bit more factual. People are reading fewer books than before. This is adding an extra meaning, extra nuance to it. Be very careful not to add new things in. All right? Just copy the exact meaning. And then what is the difference between this word and this word? >> Literature encompasses more than just books. But books is only a a sub genre of like literature. >> What would most people think when when you say literature? >> They might assume maybe things other than just books. >> The way I would think about it, if somebody said literature, it would mean a specific literary fiction, whereas they're talking about books in general. So that could be other types of books other than literary fiction. So we need to be careful not to add in things that kind of mean the same thing. A lot of people will do stuff like this, add in words that they think sound good, but then once you actually look at the meaning of those words, it actually changes the meaning of the paraphrase. >> My question is, is it okay to use uh the same word? Maybe. >> Yes. So like if I were to put in books. >> So books, it's very difficult to change the word books. Books or books. You've never been taught IELTS. You've never looked IELTS up. >> And it's interesting that that that was a question because it's an assumption that a lot of people have is is oh I cannot repeat any words. That's not what paraphrasing means. Because like let's say there was a question that had your name in it, Ramy. [laughter] >> Why would we change that? You know what would we say? the guy who's sitting with the brown jacket. Like, we wouldn't say that. So, let's try again. But if you have to repeat a word, repeat a word. If you think about it, you have three choices. Choice number one, repeat the word. Choice number two, change to something you're not 100% sure about. So, something like books, literature kind of means the same thing, but I'm not sure. Let's try it. Most of the time, that's wrong. or change to something 100% sure. So if you can, this is the best option. This is the second best option. This is an option that you just should not take. So don't take any risks. >> If you can change it to something that you're 100% sure about, but if not, repeat the word. >> Okay? >> So try again. So book readership. So you repeated the word book, but the thing that the examiner will look at is you have a nice collocation here. You know, book and readership go together. So even though you've repeated the word, the examiner will look at that as like one unit of language. They've taken reading books and changed it to book readership. Only someone who has very advanced English can actually do that. Instead of showing off words like literature, >> show off stuff like this. You might look at that and think, well, that's not as high level as as something like literature or reluctant. These collocations examiners love them. So, uh, fewer than before has declined significantly. Good in recent years. So, what does than before mean in recent years? So, in recent years, it's gone down. >> Mhm. >> Great. So that's short simple. What an examiner will think about is does this mean the same thing as this? They'll think about meaning. Then they'll think about accuracy. So is this accurate? >> Mhm. >> Is the vocabulary accurate? Is the grammar accurate? It is. And then number three, did they change enough? So you definitely have changed enough. It's accurate. The meaning is the same. So that is an excellent paraphrase. So what this shows the examiner is you've understood the question because it's impossible to understand a question and paraphrase it and your grammar and vocabulary is good cuz again it's impossible to change it >> and have bad grammar and vocabulary. So it's just like a little test. >> Yeah. >> A little mini test. >> Yeah. >> Can you do that? >> This is your paraphrase. >> Next we're going to write the outline of the main ideas. M >> so the main ideas are here are the causes here are the solutions. So if you think back to the causes and solutions that we have >> and then write them out just introduce in no detail. Okay. >> So try that now. We've got our paraphrase and this essay will examine how social media and streaming service so we've got idea number one and idea number two have contributed have caused good. So you're paraphrasing that a little bit to this trend. So you're referencing this trend which really nice and will suggest that schools and families idea number three, idea number four could help address this issue by promoting reading habits. So schools helping and families helping with this. Okay. Excellent. A good test is could you take the question, cut that out, hand it to a friend who speaks who can read English, and could they understand >> what you think about the question? >> Now, [clears throat] what they might say is, well, could you give me a little bit more detail? >> That's what the rest of the essay. So, don't go into you didn't go into any detail at all. That's exactly what you want to do. And it's the thing I like about it is really short to the point and it gives you more time to focus on the main body. That's what we're going to do next. >> So see I numbered these 1 2 3 4. >> This actually becomes your the structure for your main body. So remember we said the first main body paragraph is our causes. Idea one social media idea two streaming. Main body paragraph two is our solutions, schools and family. So a good introduction means that you can constantly check, okay, am I on the right track? >> So this is like your mini plan. So [clears throat] you can constantly just look back. Okay, I'm going to write about this first. I finished that. Now I'm going to write about this. I finished that. I'm going to write about this. >> And then I'm going to write about this. Because on test day, you might not have slept well the night before. We just want to give you tools that force you to do the right thing. So if you learn this system >> that okay, I want to outline everything in my introduction and then you follow this system which is looking back and and treating this as a little mini plan. It's pretty much impossible for you not to structure your essay properly. Cuz what happens is people don't do that. they kind of get lost in the main body. >> Yeah. >> Um or if they even if they write a good introduction and they they don't refer back to it. Yeah. >> They can kind of get lost. You can get stressed out. You're running out of time. >> You might forget a point. >> Exactly. Exactly. So, it's just making it as safe as possible. If you would like that level of feedback on your own essays, you're probably thinking that that could be quite expensive, but the good news is is it's actually not. If you would like all of the feedback that we have given Ramy for your essay, it is only $10. Normally, we only offer that on our VIP course, which is hundreds of dollars, but we're offering today to 20 people. One-on-one feedback from me on your essay, and I will develop a full step-by-step study plan for you, all for just $10. We can only do about 20 of those a day because it takes me a huge amount of time to do those. If you want to be one of those 20 people, go to the description, click on that link, and you can join for just $10. So, if we look here at the structure. >> Mhm. >> So, we've done these three things. We've paraphrased, we've stated our causes, we've stated our solutions, we know what we're going to write about here cuz we've put it into our introduction. Um, now we need to start our first main body paragraph. Some people call it a supporting paragraph. It's the same thing. Mhm. >> And we need to do something called a topic sentence. Now, we talked about briefly about this before. A topic sentence is is for people who need flags. You need to say, "Here's what I'm going to talk about." Just makes it easy for the reader. So, if you read any good book or you read a good newspaper, um often the first sentence of the paragraph will be this is what I'm going to talk about. They won't literally say that, but it'll be like the main point so that you know how um instead of just going immediately into an example or an explanation, >> I'm going to show you a few different topic sentences first. >> You're going to choose the right one and then you're going to write your own topic sentences. >> For the first idea, which is social media, which topic sentence do you think is right and which two do you think are wrong? Uh yeah, I think uh sentence number three. >> Good. What's wrong with number one? >> I just think it's too complicated. Like it's uh >> yeah, >> so hard to to understand. >> Yeah. [laughter] So uh this is a very common thing where people will um memorize uh lists of words and just insert them into their um essay and hope for the best. Um but it's not a vocabulary test. It's a it's a writing test. vocabulary is a part of it. But just trying to sound really advanced normally doesn't work and leads to a lot of mistakes. >> What's wrong with this one? >> It doesn't really, you know, summarize or talk about like social media. It's more about phones in general. >> Mhm. [clears throat] And this one, >> this one is nice. >> Yeah. Starts off the primary cause is idea. >> Mhm. Mhm. >> Right. That's it. Yeah. And then later on you could say the next cause is or an additional cause is the next idea. >> And that's all you have to do. Next we need to develop this. By development I mean give explanations. Another way to think about explanations are reasons. Reasons why you believe this is true or reasons why you think this is a cause. So imagine I'm arguing against you and I'm like this isn't a cause. Why is this a cause? Convince me. A good way to think about this, the best way that I have found is picture a young child that you know, could be six years old, 10 years old, something like that, who knows nothing about this because what that forces you to do is be very clear. All right? Don't be afraid of patronizing the examiner and and writing exactly um what you think about this in very clear, easy to understand writing. You can also, it's up to you, you can include an example. Um, if you can think of an example right away. >> Um, so the primary cause is social media. You can probably think of a social media platform, >> the one that you use every day. >> Probably include that one. So try to just explain it to a 10-year-old and include an example if you want. And then we'll have a look at it together. When people have spare a moment, they check social media instead of picking up a book. So, this is really nice because you have not assumed that the person reading it knows anything about social media or how social media might affect reading a book. You have assumed that like talking to an alien from a different planet and the alien is like what is a book? What is social media? which is exactly what you should do. There's a few little grammar issues. We'll not talk about those right now. We'll talk about those later. Platform like Instagram, Facebook, and Tik Tok. Excellent. So, you've used real examples of real platforms. You don't have to give like really complicated um examples. If you were in a coffee shop talking about this, the first thing that would come up would probably Instagram or Tik Tok or whatever. Like those are fine um to put in there. are designed to keep people scrolling with constant new content. So, you're explaining what a social media feed is. You're not assuming that the person knows what that is, which is excellent. Reading a book requires sustained focus, but social media provide instant stimulation that makes it hard to concentrate on anything else. Excellent. Well done. Probably a key difference between writing essays and speaking is when we're speaking, you can say, "What do you mean by that? I don't understand that." >> Can you give me an example? When you're writing an essay, you cannot do that. So, you have to leave everything on the page. Also, now we're >> in a world where 99% of our writing is messaging. and messaging. You very rarely will write a very long if you see a very long thing from your wife or your girlfriend, you know you're in trouble. That's the only time I [laughter] ever That's the only time I ever see a very long piece of text. In general, it is not even a sentence. It's just like >> boom boom. Like we were talking before this. It's just back and forth, back and forth. Because in messaging you will it innately you can say >> where's what's the address? Can I park there? Um what what's the room number? But on the paper, if I was writing a letter to you about how to get here today, I would have to really think about it and say like there's traffic on the road and you can park by going here and don't miss your turn. You know, you'll have to go all the way around. That's what happened. [laughter] >> And then and then the the the elevators are here. You can get a I'd have to think deeply about that and put it all on paper. Even though you have been here before, I would have to be very clear so that you fully understand and you've done a really really good job with that. So well done. So I've helped you a lot with this. I'm not going to help you too much anymore. I want you to look at the structure again. >> Look at the structure. >> Think about what you're going to do next. So you're going to introduce the next cause >> and then you're going to explain. You could give an you've already given an example. You can give an example again if you want. It's up to you. Um, but what I would like you to do is just state cause too and then develop that a little bit more. Good. You're indicating to the reader, here's the next thing. All right? You're not just going straight into it. You're flagging that up to them, which is really good. Another major factor is that streaming services. All right? So, we've talked about social media. Now I talking about streaming services offer easier entertainment than books. Watching Netflix or YouTube requires less mental effort than reading. So you've explained, okay, people are watching Netflix. Why don't they read a book instead? Viewers can relax and let the story come to them. Excellent. the difference between reading a book and watching TV. Literally, there are books on Netflix like and you like adaptations and how many hundreds or thousands of times more people will watch, >> you know, Pride and Prejudice the book versus the actual movie. Whereas reading means actively imagining scenes and characters. After a long day of work, most people choose the easier option. Excellent. So you've explained it and you've given a little example here. I think this is probably around 100 words or so, which is totally fine. In general, if you write about between 100 and 150 words for each main body paragraph, you should be good. When you're practicing, count the number of words >> and then you can kind of eyeball what does 100, what does 150 of my words actually look like? And then when you're on test day, if you were to think, okay, this is 125. I'm not sure what it is. This, if you were to write to about here, >> you would be fine. >> Do we get graded higher if we write more? >> No. >> No. Um cuz it's not a >> I imagine if that was the case, that would encourage people just to write as much as possible and that's not really what we're doing here. My favorite author is George Orwell >> and he is known for very like people would look at it and think oh this is simple >> um you know it's not fancy pros or anything like that it's more about the ideas behind it but he wrote a essay called on writing >> about how to write and that was it was all like use shorter sentences use simpler words don't use fancy words that nobody understands things like that cuz that is good writing I've helped you a But now the training wheels are are going to come off and I'm going to not help you at all. I want you to write your second main body paragraph which is solutions. So think about everything you've learned. Think about what you put in your introduction. Take those two solutions. Topic sentence explain or give an example. Second one. Okay. So one solution is for schools to encourage students to read more. All right. Topic sentence clear, easy to understand, main ideas correct. Schools can dictate specific time to reading during the school day and make it enjoyable through book clubs discussions and regular library visits. Good. So you've included a couple of little examples in there as well, which is really nice and everyone can relate to that. like everyone understands that everyone has been to school, it's easy to understand. This h help children develop reading habits. So explaining how is this actually going to help them and then you actually explain it >> reading from a young age and associate reading with pleasure rather than just homework. Another approach that language again of like hey I'm talking about a different thing now is for families to set aside time for reading together. So how does this actually or what would they do if parents turn off devices and read with their children regularly? It become a normal family routine. For example, many families reading together for 20 minutes before bed which helps children associate reading with calm, positive experience and make it a natural part of their daily life. Excellent. So, I really like the fact that you've used common simple everyday examples like book clubs and regular library visits at school, reading before bed. These are the simplest ideas and I mean that in the best possible way. What most students do is try and think of the most extravagant intricate complex thing. You're not doing that, which is a sign of a really, really good writer. Again, few little grammar mistakes in there. We'll talk about that after. Final part of your essay is your conclusion. What you're going to do is just write in conclusion. And a conclusion is similar to your introduction. So your introduction was here's what I'm going to talk about. Here are the main ideas. A conclusion is a summary of the main ideas. So the way that for this type of question, you can actually look at your introduction and paraphrase your introduction cuz you've already stated that. And don't worry about repetition. A good essay, your introduction should introduce the main ideas, conclusions, and summarize them. That is totally fine and acceptable. So, what I would like you to do is look at your introduction and write your conclusion. In conclusion, the decline in book reading can be attributed good to digital distractions. Very nice. Such as social media and streaming platforms. However, schools and families can encourage more people to read by making it an enjoyable and regular part of daily life. Good. So, you've summarized all the main ideas. Your essay is finished or is it? So, [laughter] so it's nearly done. 50% of your score is did you answer the question and did you structure your essay and did you write a clear cohesive essay? The other 50% is grammar and vocabulary. Let's start off with vocabulary. So vocabulary includes little spelling mistakes. So we need to be careful about those. It also includes meaning errors. So when I was working with you on your uh paraphrasing, for example, you put literature and reluctant. So this might bring your score down if you were to. But I don't think that's going to be the case because after I gave you feedback on that, you simplified your language a lot. The thing that you could improve, especially if you want to get one of the really high scores, which you do, is to look at what are the words that you repeated again and again. >> The rule is not that you can't repeat a word. So, for example, books and reading, >> you're going to be repeating those a lot because it's about that. Sure, >> but we if we want a band eight or a band, we should try and vary our vocabulary as much as we can, >> but only as much as we can. So, what I would like you to do is have a look through here >> and think, are there any common words that you have repeated too many times and is it a possibility that you could change it to anything? >> Um, so just have a read there first. The first one is social media. Social media is very specific. Like there's not that many ways that you can um change that. What you could do is you could refer to it differently. You could talk about the platforms or these platforms. So they check these platforms instead. Or you could use examples distractions such as social media. So you could say distractions such as Tik Tok and Instagram or something like that. you're not going to lose a huge amount of marks because as a native English speaker who does this for a living, I don't know 14 different ways of saying something. [laughter] So, so don't worry too much about it. Schools is a little bit easier. So, you repeated schools a little bit. Um, you could say things like in the classroom or be educational institutions, things like that. families. You could say something like >> parents, >> parents, the family units >> at home. >> At home. Excellent. Yeah. Only if you have time at the end. If you're hoping to get a band eight or a band nine during your practice, you should be aiming to have at least 5 minutes at the end to check these things. Other way of doing it is to note down words that from the question or from your main ideas that you know will come up. So for this when you were planning everything out you would have said things like streaming services, social media, reading, school, families just think of during the planning stage what alternative words could I use or phrases for these key words. Some people prefer that. I prefer that because I like to do one thing at a time. I don't like to be doing thinking of multiple things. So you during your practice either try it that way where you think of alternatives during the planning stage or some people are more nervous and anxious about getting it done and they prefer to spend that time actually writing it and [clears throat] then they go in and check it. Also you'll probably be doing the test on a computer >> so it's easier to change things at the end on the computer than to go in and have to change everything. My biggest worry for you is not your ideas or your structure or your writing or your vocabulary. It's grammar. One thing that I noticed there's a there's a few careless things that you do. So, for example, here you have a comma and then you have a capital letter here >> after here. You have a full stop and then you have a small letter instead of a capital. Here >> you don't have per se bad punctuation. you know that you should capitalize uh words. >> I think you just get a little bit careless sometimes. >> It's just so rare for me to actually write something, you know, >> ruin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I I would not I would capitalize this if I were typing it on the keyboard 100%. >> So, I would try and do it if I was you. Do it on the computer. Show it to me and let's see if you are actually making that. But as normally, as soon as I make people aware that they're making that error, they fix it. It's just that they're like, "Oh, I I I had no idea I I was actually doing that." The problem with IELTS is they give you a high mark for grammar based on the number of what they call error-free sentences. >> An error-free sentence is a sentence with zero grammatical errors. So, if you even made that little mistake or that little mistake, that sentence and that sentence have an error. That's not an error-free sentence. Then you have a few small article error. So when people have a spare moment or after a long day at work. So if we just look at this paragraph, this sentence has an article error and a punctuation error. This sentence has a punctuation error. This sentence has an article error in it. And there's a few more article errors in there. >> And there's also some subjectverb agreement issues in there. So, for example, this should be provides instant stimulation instead of provide instant stimulation. And same here, this helps children. And there's a there's a couple more in there. So, as you can see, I've just quickly checked it. >> Your problem is not that you have major grammar issues. >> They are small slips. If you have major grammar problems, which is grammar problems that stop me understanding what you're writing about, you would be getting a band five probably. you do not have that problem. >> You can make these little slips and get a band six, maybe even a band seven depending on the frequency, but you can't get a band eight or a band 9 cuz you're just too they're they're too frequent. But the good news is normally with someone at your level, as soon as I make you aware, >> your three big areas that you need to work on are punctuation, articles, and subjectverb agreement. we can help you with that pretty quickly. That would be the main thing I would say >> is focus on those three areas and if you just do that you will be in very good shape but I would like to work with you on a new on a different essay when you have fixed those issues. I think it's unfair to judge your band level right now. Very very good first attempt but we would like to improve things for you. So that was how to do a causes and solution video. We have many other similar videos on the different types of task two. If you would like that, click here. Or if you would like to work on task one writing, click