Video summary
The reviewer approaches Eli Roth's 2026 film *Ice Cream Man* with high hopes, noting its retro aesthetic that evokes classic coming-of-age stories like *Stand By Me*, only to find it a significant disappointment despite the director's reputation for dark humor and gore. The movie attempts to blend nostalgia with horror by setting the story in what appears to be the late 1970s or 80s, yet inexplicably includes modern smartphones that break immersion immediately. While the reviewer initially expected a playful take on the iconic villain from *Weapons*, they argue that this installment fails to innovate beyond simply reusing the concept of children going berserk after consuming ice cream, effectively turning Roth's original ending into a lazy ninety-minute plot where kids murder people at their master's silent command.
A major point of contention for the critic is the film's complete neglect of its central motif; aside from the antagonist distributing treats and wearing an apron, nothing about the ice cream actually influences the narrative or the characters' actions. The reviewer expresses frustration that the filmmakers did not explore creative possibilities such as different flavors causing specific mutations or side effects, instead reducing the villain to a generic demonic figure who could just as easily be driving a garbage truck. This lack of thematic depth is compounded by poor writing choices, including an absurd scene where a father reaches for a switch across twelve feet in another room that operates his kitchen's garbage disposal, which the reviewer finds baffling given standard appliance layouts.
Visually and tonally, the film struggles to maintain coherence or scares its audience effectively due to what feels like unpolished production values and nonsensical storytelling. The cinematography suffers from a greasy, poorly color-graded look that makes everything appear dull and unpleasant, while the acting by both adult and child casts is described as underwhelming at best. Although the movie features numerous kills and moments of gore that might appeal to fans who prioritize visceral content over narrative logic, the reviewer feels these elements are wasted on a script that relies too heavily on torture porn without any genuine tension or fear for the protagonists' lives. Ultimately, the film comes across as campy and corny rather than scary or funny, leaving the audience more annoyed by its drawn-out premise than entertained by its violent set pieces.
In conclusion, while acknowledging that the movie might find a cult following among viewers who enjoy gratuitous violence without caring about plot consistency, the reviewer firmly states it is not worth their time compared to rewatching *Weapons* or watching Thanksgiving-themed horror films. The film fails to deliver on its promise of being a fun, silly exploration of childhood gone wrong because everything feels stupid and pointless from start to finish. Despite Roth's attempt to create something playful where children team up against adults in increasingly ridiculous ways, the execution lacks vision and leaves the reviewer wishing for more creativity rather than just another entry that prioritizes shock value over substance.
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Summer's still in full swing. And one of
the nicest ways to beat the hot heat is
to have a nice ice cream treat. Didn't
mean for that to rhyme, but And director
Eli Roth is scooping some of that up
with extra sprinkles on top in the 2026
film The Ice Cream Man. You may have
heard of that film before cuz it came
out in 1995. Now, now, now, now, now.
This is very much its own unique take on
the character from the visionary
director that gave us Borderlands. Let's
talk about the Ice Cream Man 2026
edition. That's short for edition.
Say, before I tell you whether or not
Ice Cream Man provides me with the white
sticky treat in my mouth, I'm hoping it
does. Subscribe for homoerotic sexual
innuendos. All right, let's do the Ice
Cream Man. Hot. This film was very
interesting for me on its face. It
appears to be very retro, taking place
in the late 70s or the 80s, but people
have smartphones. It also reminded me of
the 80s because the protagonists here
are kids. So, I was thinking the
Sandlot. I was thinking the Goonies. And
oftentimes it can be a tough cell when
you have kid actors because sometimes
they can suck at acting. Don't worry,
that's not the case for The Ice Cream
Man 1995.
Unfortunately, I watched The Ice Cream
Man 2026. And in this film, the actors
have a tough time with the material, and
that's not really their fault because
the material is very tough. Here's what
I think happened. Eli Roth watched
Weapons. Love that movie. Thought it was
awesome. And he really
tractor beamed in on that ending where
the kids go nuts and they start smashing
through windows and running through
houses and then just, you know, ripping
apart an old lady. And he thought to
himself, "What if I did that for a full
90 minutes?" And I think I can get the
rights to the ice cream man. So, we'll
just use that as a lazy way to make him
into a witch type character who's able
to control these kids through ice cream.
They take a lick, they take a bite, and
next thing you know, they're killing
zombie machines, bending to the will of
their voiceless ice cream master because
the guy who plays the antagonist here
never says a peep. The ice cream man's
just hanging out in his truck. Ding ding
ding ding ding ding ding ding ding tips
the hat to the nearby localsing
and then the kids start doing his
bidding and that is the entire plot of
this 90minute film. It's it's it's
seriously just that the ice cream man
gives them treats, they're activated and
they start murdering people. Why are
they doing this? Well, we'll find out
very late in the game in the most
insanely convenient exposition dump
scene I've ever seen in my life. There
is a twist and the twist does kind of
make up for something earlier in the
film and make it make sense. But at that
point, I was so just exhausted and bored
[clears throat] and just did not want to
keep watching this film because
unfortunately the ice cream man is a
huge miss for me. Now it may hit for
you. Uh and keep in mind I'm a person
that really enjoyed Thanksgiving. I love
the idea of theming the murderer. He's
dressed up as a pilgrim. He's got a
hatchet. He even bases a victim at one
point, gets a whole Thanksgiving spread
out, puts her in the oven. It's brutal.
It's violent. It's fun. It's silly.
That's some good [ __ ] I was hoping the
ice cream man would be that. But they do
nothing at all with the ice cream motif.
The ice cream background is just that.
It's in the background. This guy could
have been a garbage truck driver.
Nothing changes at all. It really just
is the witch from weapons. She snaps the
twig. They go nuts. He gives them ice
cream. They go nuts. It would have been
one thing if the different flavors of
the ice cream or if it's like a dilly
bar or some [ __ ] has a different effect
on the child. Maybe they get boils or
something. Maybe they turn into
disgusting monsters. I mean, do
something with it. But no, in this he's
just in the background doing his own
thing and it's all about the kids show.
Now, it did not work for me. That does
not mean there's not something here for
some people and I do think it will have
a cult following mainly because there
are a lot of kills in this thing. Some
of them are pretty fun. A lot of them
are ridiculous. The kids apparently have
superhuman strength at times and all the
adults are dumb as [ __ ] just letting
their kids do these unspeakable things.
There is one kill very early on that I
am going to spoil because I I was so
perplexed by the whole layout. I just
have to bring it up as a question that
you can answer for me. So, there's a
scene where one of the dads is in the
kitchen and the daughter says that uh
she drops something into the garbage
disposal. So, he reaches his hand in.
You know what's going to happen? She's
going to flip the switch. What threw me
off here was that the switch was on the
other side of the kitchen. He's up front
next to a window. You then have to snake
around the side. Behind the fridge,
around the corner is the switch to the
GARBAGE DISPOSAL. IT'S LIKE 12 feet
away. You would think it's a light
switch to the front entrance, but no.
Apparently, it runs the garbage disposal
on the other SIDE OF THE ROOM. WHAT?
I've lived in several houses with
garbage disposals. I've also frequented
other folks's homes. Uh, not with their
permission. I broke in, of course, cuz
who would want to hang out with me? And
the switch for the disposal is always in
one of two locations that I've seen. Uh
number one, it's right above the sink on
the wall. Maybe it's tiled next to it if
it's fancy. Otherwise, yeah, it's it's
typically within a reach away. Uh or
two, it's underneath the sink in like
the cupboard below. You flip it on. In
either case, it's right there because
how insane would it be that it's across
the room? Someone could accidentally
flip it on thinking it's a light switch
while you're doing the dishes.
[screaming and groaning]
Let's move past this though. From a
visual standpoint, it's not an ugly
movie, but kind it kind of is. It almost
feels like they shot it raw and they did
no color correction afterwards or all of
the film stock fell into a grease pit.
They pulled it out and we're like,
"Yeah, it's a little greasy, but that's
fine." Everything just has this kind of
ugly huish color over the top of it. I
mentioned the kid acting is not great.
I I mentioned that, right? We're mainly
going to follow a young man named Jared.
I think his name is Jared. It doesn't
really matter. It's not going to change
the story here. And he unfortunately is
lactose intolerant. So when the ice
cream man goes by, gives everybody some
nice tasty treats, he's unable to
partake. So, he's one of the few people
that's still awake while the rest of the
kids in his class are going around on a
murder spree. So, it's going to be up to
him and a few collective others to band
together and try to figure out what's
going on and how to get the hell out of
dodge. I'm a fan of dark humor when it
works. Unfortunately, it just it didn't
work a lot here. I got what Eli Roth was
going for. He was trying to make
something very playful, very silly. You
got the kids in charge, so it's from
their perspective, which does elevate
things a little, but also not really at
the same time because everything is so
stupid. It's just nonsensical across the
board. I'm never really scared for these
kids. I'm more or less just kind of
annoyed by how long we're dragging out
this premise. It felt like something
that would have been great for, let's
say, uh, a few minutes of screen time.
Oh, wait. They did that in Weapons. That
was perfect. It was the perfect amount
because there's just only so much you
can do with the thing. The kids team up
on the adults. They they cut off some
arms. They drop some bricks on their
faces. They're sawing off limbs. I mean,
it's just kind of torture porn, which I
know Eli's no stranger to. He did the
hostile films. But this one doesn't even
have the luxury of being called
mean-spirited. That that would be giving
it too much credit even. That would be
giving it some sort of a vision. I just
don't even know what he was going for
here. It's really campy. It's really
corny. Again, there is a lot of murders.
So, I think from that standpoint alone,
some horror fans that like all the gore
and stuff, they might enjoy this a lot
more. And it's definitely going to be
one that people can react to online.
They get a bunch of hits that way. Like,
whoa, can you believe what happened
here? The dude was set on fire. That's
crazy. [gasps] I just need something
built around the crazy to make it more
interesting. If you're using a character
like the ice cream man, it's a perfect
opportunity to have him lure kids into
the van, take them away, do some weird
crazy experiments on him or lace the ice
cream with different elements or
substances that would make them do
different things. Like come up with
something fun with the character. Don't
just make him a generic demony figure
because then what's the point of even
having that as the profession? He could
be a milkman. The big takeaway I got
from this film is I'd rather be watching
Thanksgiving or watching Weapons Again.
Well, there you have it. My thoughts on
The Ice Cream Man. Not the treat I was
hoping for, unfortunately. Let me know
your thoughts though in the comments
below. Please think of subbing to the
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