Video summary
The speaker reflects on his journey through ministry, attributing his ability to serve the Lord over the past 45 years primarily to the unwavering support of his wife, Marie. He recounts a pivotal moment early in their marriage when he was deeply discouraged due to financial struggles, having quit school to work while she was pregnant with their first child. At that low point, overwhelmed by feelings of failure and returning to alcohol as a coping mechanism, he broke down in tears alone in his room. Marie discovered him crying, listened to his confession that he felt like a failure and had married the wrong man, and instead of leaving or judging him, she embraced him with compassion and affirmed her belief in his potential.
Marie's influence extended far beyond this single moment of crisis, as she became the primary teacher of virtues such as kindness, gentleness, trust, and love that defined his character. The speaker emphasizes that while he could be replaced in various roles within the church, Marie was irreplaceable because she modeled the very behaviors she taught him without needing to instruct him on how to act; she simply lived them out through her own actions. Her presence provided a foundation of grace that transformed him from an alcoholic who struggled with expressing emotions into a man capable of deep spiritual service, leading to his complete recovery and a life dedicated to faith.
The significance of Marie's role is so profound that the speaker states she represents everything in the church besides Jesus himself. During their recent 45th anniversary celebration, he noted that while many shared sweet words about him, the true heart of the ministry was God's love and his wife's love. He highlights that even when dealing with illness now, Marie had previously led one of the finest women's ministries, mentoring hundreds of women who looked up to her with respect over the decades. Her ability to hold space for his vulnerabilities and her consistent encouragement created an environment where all things became possible, allowing him to fulfill his calling without ever feeling held back or restricted.
Ultimately, the speaker concludes by urging husbands to love their wives sacrificially, drawing from the biblical instruction to dwell with them according to knowledge. He shares that when a wife believes in her husband, it ignites a desire within him to do all things for God, a dynamic that has been central to his entire ministry life. Having never returned to drinking and having forgotten the taste of alcohol due to the overwhelming taste of love he experienced, he gives all glory to God for both his recovery and the gift of Marie. His message is clear: the strength and blessing found in their church community are rooted in this deep marital bond, where a wife's belief in her husband becomes the catalyst for his greatest achievements and spiritual growth.
Read the full video transcript
I said, "You married the wrong man. I'm
a failure. You deserve much better. You
made a [music] mistake." And she said,
"I didn't make a mistake." She says,
"You're [music] not a failure.
God is going to use you.
I believe in you." And with that [music]
support, I've been able to do everything
I've done for all of these years. I've
been able to serve [music] the Lord. And
that's why I'm here right now. We
recently celebrated our 45th church
anniversary
and uh it was fun. I had a great time.
We had wonderful
worship. We had some dear friends of
ours who came up and shared some very
sweet lies about me. And uh al together
we had a great time and and people have
asked in the past and all and I began to
think about this even today
what would I contribute to the blessing
of this church the thing that has
kept us going for all of these years if
there's something that I would point to
that I would say is besides Jesus
himself
is a heart of this church it would be My
wife.
Be my wife.
Marie
is the one God used in in this man's
life. in this man's life.
To teach me compassion
and to teach me
to speak with kindness,
to love,
to have a gentleness of spirit,
to trust people. I really believe that
the one who finds a good wife, even as
Proverbs says, finds a good thing.
And so, I would give all glory to God
for what he has done in our church,
but I also would give thanks to God for
what he's given to me as my wife. One of
our speakers who was sharing generously
about what he sees in our ministry and
what he sees in me was very touchingly
sweet in that he said that in the
Calvary Chapel leadership in the Calvary
Chapel movement that there's one thing
that is known about me and that is I
love my wife. Marie had when she was
able my my wife is dealing with illness
now but when Marie was able she had I
believe one of the finest women's
ministry that I was ever
ever privileged to be aware of
hundreds and hundreds of women have
looked at my wife with love
and respect
over the years.
She has mentored and ministered to
numerous women over the last 45 years
and and I've said that I can be replaced
and I know that. But Marie in many ways
is much harder to replace.
She's more than I could deserve. She's
more than I ever could have deserved.
She is my
gift of grace that God gave to me that
made me into the man that I am today.
Not because she was telling me what to
do or how to do it or when to do it or
even why to do it, just because she
herself would do those things.
I've never had any sense that I can't go
someplace to do ministry or be somewhere
late if I have to. She's never held me
back. My wife said, "You've been called
by God."
Many years ago before I entered into
ministry and it was within the first
year of our marriage,
I was very discouraged. I had been going
to school and I had to quit school and I
had to take a job and my wife is
pregnant. We didn't have two nickels to
rub together. We had a small apartment.
We had no furniture. I had a $10 couch
and a $90 TV set. We had nothing and I
felt like a failure and and prior to
coming to Faith in Christ, I was an
alcoholic and I
I I never knew how to express emotion
without an a drink.
And I was so overwhelmed I I decided to
go and buy a beer or two. And she didn't
know that. She was making dinner. I
said, "I'll be right back." And I bought
some beer. I came back, drank it, and
went and bought some more.
I didn't get drunk, but I did feel the
effects of the alcohol. Enough for me to
finally give myself as a young man
that excuse for feeling what I was
feeling. And I went upstairs and closed
the door. It was just just barely open.
And I started to cry. I was so broken.
And this girl, this little girl who was
pregnant with our firstborn,
came walking up the stairs. And I
remember hearing her heavy footsteps.
She was pregnant. The door swung open
and there's this pregnant little bride
of mine, my my my girl. And what are you
doing in here? And I just started to
cry. I had a pillow over my face,
muffling my tears, but she could hear me
downstairs.
What are you crying about? I said, you
married the wrong man. I'm a failure.
you deserve much better. You made a
mistake.
And she took me.
She put her arms around my shoulders and
drew me to her and held me like I was a
kid. And I wept
on her shoulder.
And she said I didn't make a mistake.
I said, "You know, God, I want to be a
pastor. I want to serve the Lord.
Look at me. I can't even provide for the
family.
She says, "You're not a failure.
God is going to use you.
I believe in you.
And that's why I'm here right now."
What makes this church what it is? The
heart.
It's God's love.
And it's the love of my wife. I give her
all honor,
all respect.
So, husbands, love your wives. Dwell
with them according to knowledge.
Sacrifice for them.
And watch what happens. Because when
your wife believes in you, all things
are possible
because that makes you want to do all
things for him.
And with that support, I've been able to
do everything I've done for all of these
years. I've been able to serve the Lord.
No, I've never gone back to drinking.
No, I don't get drunk. I haven't had an
alcoholic beverage in many years. So
many I don't even remember. Don't
remember the taste of alcohol.
But I do know the taste of love
and that is something God has given to
me and he did so also in my wife. So
what does Marie mean to this church?
She means everything outside of Jesus.
Love your wives.