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I Was a Monster… Then Jesus Changed Me

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Jeffrey Barker recounts his troubled upbringing in Tacoma, Washington, where he grew up angry and rebellious after learning about his father at the age of fourteen. By his late teens, he had fully embraced a gang lifestyle that provided him with respect, money, and violence, but ultimately left him with no real skills or education. After serving twelve years in prison, Jeffrey was released at age thirty-two with high hopes to live a righteous life, only to quickly relapse into drug use and criminal behavior as he tried to catch up with his peers. Within two years of getting out, he suffered a series of tragic accidents, including an accidental overdose, a drunk driving crash that nearly paralyzed him, and a shooting incident, all while struggling with deep feelings of hopelessness and isolation. At the lowest point in his life, Jeffrey wrote a suicide letter intending to end it all because he felt trapped in his own mind despite being physically free from prison. However, just two days later, an old friend named Tyrone Peyton called him to invite him to a tent revival, offering either transportation or a chance to meet face-to-face. Upon arriving at the event, Jeffrey was struck by seeing people who looked like him walking in their faith, which caused something inside him to switch permanently. This spiritual awakening led him to join a small group where he found genuine connection and support, eventually becoming a permanent member of his church community after nearly three years of transformation. Jeffrey now describes himself as a completely new person filled with love rather than hate, crediting God for removing his old identity as a murderer, addict, and womanizer. He emphasizes that his recovery from severe drug addiction is not due to his own strength but entirely because of divine grace, noting that without this intervention he would still be robbing or using drugs. His story serves as a powerful testimony that no one is too far gone or too lost for redemption, urging others to set aside their pride and give God a chance to change their lives regardless of how dire their circumstances may seem. Ultimately, Jeffrey encourages everyone to focus not on their problems but on the problem solver, assuring them that if he can be changed, anyone else can as well through faith and community support.
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Uh, my name is Jeffrey Barker. I was born in Lakewood, Washington. Um, I grew up in the Tacoma, Puyallup area to a single mom. I didn't know who my father was until I was about the age of 14. And by that time, I was I was pretty rebellious. I was already sneaking out of the house. I was already smoking weed. I was already running with gangs. And I was not the easiest child to parent. From the ages of 13 to 17, I ran the streets. Snuck out at night, stole cars, and I grew up angry. I don't even know what I was angry at, but I grew up angry. About the time I was 17, 16, 17, I became a full-fledged member in a in a gang. With that came everything I always thought I wanted, respect, violence, guns, money, girls, cars, all the worldly things that I thought that were important that weren't. On April 10th, 2010, my life changed drastically. In the commission of a robbery, somebody got shot. That's the day my life changed. I was 19 on that day. And then I went to prison. I did 12 years. By the time I got out, I was 32 years old. I had no real skills, no real education. I did what I thought I needed to do, and I got a job. I had every intention on living right. I had every intention on never going back to prison. I had every intention on never picking up a gun again. And then I looked around and I seen all my friends had money, my friends had cars. My friends had had families, and I didn't. And I Something in me thought I had to play catch up. So, I got in the drug game. Selling and running drugs was was my go-to. And then selling them turned into using them. And then pretty soon, all I was about was anger, money, drugs, guns, fast cars, and girls. So, in about a 2-year span of me getting out of prison, I did good for about 3 months. And then everything begin to go left. In that short chunk of time, I had an accidental overdose. I had a head-on collision cuz I was driving drunk and under the influence of other substances. And um, coming out of a bar, I ended up getting shot. Praise God that I'm alive because I shouldn't be here. After my shooting, me and my family decided it would be smart for me to move from Tacoma out here to Pasco and I moved out here, but I didn't know anybody. Drugs are easily easily accessible and I kind of picked up where I left off until one day I went to take a trip back over to my dad's. And I was on my motorcycle. Um and I I don't remember a whole lot of it. I just remember I remember drinking and then I remember getting on my bike. The next time I woke up I was in the hospital. My arms didn't move. We didn't know if I was going to walk again and I could barely put together a sentence. Doctors tell me I should be paralyzed right now. I shouldn't have any motor function or any movement in my hands as much as I do. I shouldn't be able to walk like I do. And it's only because of his grace that I can. So, after my accident I was I was laid up for for a very long time. And uh >> [music] >> and I didn't know where I should end in the world. I just didn't. So, I wrote my suicide letter. I didn't tell anybody about it. There was no I love you texts. There was just a letter that [music] said "If you get this, I'm gone." >> [singing] >> "If you get this, I'm [music] gone." And I just couldn't fight anymore. Said I'm tired [music] of not knowing where I'm going to fit in in the world or who I'm going to be. Because yeah, I'm free, but in my head I'm still in prison. I was super institutionalized. And I wrote my suicide letter and uh my goal was my goal was for my heart to stop. I got a phone call 2 days after from somebody I've known my entire life since I was about 11 or 12. His name is Tyrone Peyton. Called me and he goes he goes, "Hey, bro." I'm like, "What?" And he goes, "I already called the people to get you your travel pass. You have two options. I see him and what he said. He said either you can come to this tent revival or I can come and get you. And if I have to come and get you, you're not going to like it. So I was like all right bro, I'll be there. And I walked into this into this revival and it was people that looked like me, people who came from the same things I came from. They walked in who they were in Christ. Something in me switched. The next day at the revival I end up at this this chicken shack where I bump into to another brother. His name is Marcos Jackson. He's a connect group leader here at Hungry Gen. And he sold me on a coming to small group and I never left. I did six months at that small group before I stepped my foot in Hungry Gen. Ever since I did step into Hungry Gen, I've never left. Oh, it's been almost three years now. The Lord continues to open my eyes. He continues to soften my heart. He continues to to renew my mind. I was a horrible human being. Without God I was a monster. I was a murderer. I was a drunkard. I was a drug addict. I was a womanizer. I was dark. I didn't care who lived or died. That was me included. I just didn't care. But since then, September of this year will be two years clean from a drug only 2% of people ever come off of. And it's not me, it's him. Cuz if it was me I'd still be I'd still be I'd still be out robbing. I'd probably still have a needle in my arm if I'm going to be honest. I'd still be out there with a chip on my shoulder. >> [music] >> Hating everybody who looked at me. Looking for problems. >> [music] [snorts] >> But he set me free. He changed me. He removed my old identity. By his stripes I'm healed. And who the son sets free is free indeed. And I am who he says I am. I couldn't have done any of this without him. Without God I I'd be dead or in prison. But because of him, I'm surrounded by good brothers and sisters. My church family's amazing. You can't do life alone If you don't have the right family, if you don't have the right people around you, you'll never know what is real love. I'm a whole new person. I'm full of love, not hate. There's one thing you take away out of this, is that if he did it for me, he can do it for you. Nobody's too far gone. Nobody's too far lost. You're not too dirty to come to Christ. [music] You have nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Every battle you're fighting, he knows about. Every thought you have, he knows about. Every tear you shed, he knows about. If I can encourage anybody to do one thing, is put your pride to the side, and give God a chance, and just watch how he moves in your life. >> [music] >> Cuz if he did it for me, he can do it for you. It doesn't matter if you think your your your situation's too big. I'm here to tell you that that no situation's bigger than God. Don't focus on the problem, focus on the problem solver. Did you come and give him a chance, >> [music] >> and just watch how he moves and changes your life.