How to Take Control | Tom Bilyeu AMA

what is up everybody welcome to another episode of AMA Alive I am your host tom bill you and I'm gonna be answering your questions and by the way people have asked what AMA stands for and it stands for ask me anything so dive in fire away put your comments in with questions and we will get to them alright the first question up is from Ben wim boom this is from Facebook hi Tom despite your strict routine and bright lines is this possible for you to occasionally lose control over your day what are good techniques for presenting preventing day to day chaos from disrupting order alright the very short answer is no I don't lose control of my days I don't let the day-to-day chaos get in my way and the reality is that it comes down to identity like right now this is day 5 of a water only fast and I'm not talking about a Ramadan style fast where you eat at night I'm talking about round the [ __ ] clock I'm not eating anything but water and salt that's it those are the only things that I'm imbibing so that already is a massive stressor and as I'm sure you guys can hear in my voice I'm getting sick or something and I'm sleeping terribly coughing all night absolute mayhem and yet nonetheless I'm still getting everything done and by the way I like to think right now you guys can feel the energy that is because at the end of the day my identity demands that I not break fast until it's time to break fast my identity demands that I push and generate energy and get to a point where I'm performing at the highest level at all times regardless that is a cultivated thing that has everything to do with who I want to be now at the end of the day the only thing that really matters is what you think about yourself when you're by yourself in those quiet moments there is nobody around to impress there's no posturing to be done what do you think about yourself once you realize the power of feeling good about who you are in those quiet moments you will do anything to act in accordance with the person that you need to become in order to feel good in those moments and I know if I like today I walked by a bag of you're nuts and a voice in my head screamed you could have some of those macadamia nuts no one would ever know and I had to laugh because I know I'm never gonna give in to that I'm just not it's again my identity is so strong and I spent so much time and energy cultivating it there's just no way because I know what I lose which is I wouldn't feel good about myself and I was by myself you guys might not realize there's any difference but I would know today in the shower Lisa and I were together and she was like oh my god that's right I totally forgot you were fasting because I haven't been complaining about it which normally I do in fairness I haven't been complaining about this fast I think I've gotten really good at fasting at this point so I haven't been complaining about it I haven't been talking about it and she had completely forgotten that I was fasting and I thought here's another one of those times she doesn't realize I'm fasting so at the end of the day this is for me it's not for anybody else so not letting the chaos of the day take you away comes down to you what do you want to feel about yourself what are you trying to accomplish that at the end of the days was important now I want to talk about something that's been on my mind which is there's a very famous phrase when the cat's away the mice will play and I remember I used to live in accordance with that and win my bosses were gone whoever that boss was and there been times where my boss was essentially my employees right nobody's looking or my boss back in the day a traditional boss and when they were gone it was like hah I can relax let me tell you right now if you have the instinct to relax when the people that are supposedly watching you are away you don't have the intrinsic motivation that you need in order to see something through I so want to build this [ __ ] studio for my own reasons it's inside of me nobody has to tell me and you don't have to own a company to get that but like Seth Godin says be a lynchpin you don't have to be an entrepreneur but everybody to really enjoy your life there should be something that you want so bad that it's worth going after to me that's that is fulfillment that there's something that is hard it's hard to obtain but you believe in it so much and it gives you so much energy when you pursue it that you're gonna go after no matter what build that thing into your life man like go experience enough stuff so that you find that thing that's interesting enough to you that you're really gonna go in double down and get great at that that's why Seth Godin calls a lynchpin an artist it's somebody who regardless of whether or not the cat is there to watch the mice the mice are being diligent they're working hard because they want to feel like an artist when they're by themselves they want to know that they're thinking of solutions pushing themselves improving their capabilities all of that for yourself that's what it means to be an artist so become an artist in your own life if you want to really fall in love with it all right next question from Robert Arroyo Facebook how do you control your mind and not allow people's opinions of you to dictate your life alright this one is really easy to explain and I get how difficult it is to actually do as humans we want to connect with other people we want to be appreciated and liked that that is universal but at the end of the day you can't care more about what people think of you than you think of yourself and that needs to become the mantra that you build into your life in fact the theme of today's episode I'm gonna say is taking control of your life and these first two statements are all about that are these first two questions you can't control your own life you can't control your own mind if you allow yourself to care more about what other people think of you than you think of yourself so that needs to be the compass by which you steer now that doesn't mean that it isn't going to suck when people disapprove of you they say they don't like what you're doing man that's hard I'm telling you right now that is still hard for me and this is something that I put a lot of energy into but at the end of the day even when it stings even when it hurts I know I need to be true to myself I need to be true my vision I need to be true to what gives me energy what I'm trying to accomplish my goals the things that I've really thought about that I'm they're a part of me they're a part of my identity they are what I want to do and become now if somebody's trying to knock me off that path by criticizing me even if it hurts I know what I'm trying to accomplish in my life I know what I want to feel about myself in my life and I let that be the barometer by which I judged the state of things I let that be my true north by which I steer the more I think about it the more I'm coming to the realization that what you think about yourself is the ultimate goal it's the ultimate thing it's the ultimate reward or punishment but what you think about yourself is at the end of the day the single most important thing and so beginning to have a relationship with yourself of sitting quietly and this may be one of the reasons that meditating is so important that you can actually sit quietly think about who you are now what you think about yourself who you want to become what price you're willing to pay to get there and then actually going down that path to become that person that at the end of the day is the thing that is going to bring you happiness and fulfillment but you really have to think about who you want to become and to not be trapped by your past but do that put time and energy into thinking about what do I want to think about myself and quite honestly what do I think about myself right now if you steer by that it becomes very easy to ignore other people next question is from Victor Marquez this is on Facebook how do I continue to push how do you continue to push perhaps how do you continue to push of your health no matter how much you try and how strong your mind is continues to stop yourself from progressing then you need to address your body this is a perfect question this is exactly what Lisa is going through that woman is so mentally tough it is terrifying I actually worry sometimes she doesn't know when to stop that's me saying that so when I'm like whoa this person does not know when to quit they don't know when to relax and take a break you know that they're hardcore and my wife is uber hardcore and the reality is that her body is simply not as strong as her mind and so she needs to take that powerful mind and aim it at solving the problems of her body and that is what you need to do you've got some health issues something going on that you need to address and to feel weak because your body is weak is a mistake you need to understand this is addressable this is something that I can fix and I'm gonna have to go out and learn about it and to get your body right is incredibly important the body and the mind are all part of one ecosystem so if your body is weak however strong your mind is it is not optimized and so focusing on your body getting that in a good place is absolutely critical and that by the way is why we started the show health theory if you guys aren't already on that tip get on it hell theory is powerful it is a must what day does it come out anybody every other Thursday all right every other Thursday and if you guys love it and are engaging with it then we'll start making it every Thursday but getting your body and your mind in sync optimized that that is the key so focus on your body get it right all right next up is coyote coyote profit that is amazing I want to believe that's a real name coyote profit from Facebook hey Tom have you ever thought of working with the prison population or developing a program for prisoners especially those coming back into society I actually have thought about this never very seriously but I've always been captivated by the Folsom Prison concert that Johnny Cash did oh that was amazing I don't know how useful I would be and I think that it would be a lot of energy and that's the only thing that's really stopped me and you guys know I'm haunted by Geoffrey Canada's words and he said you have to give up on adults forgiveme had to take a swill of beverage there and that if you really want to have long lasting impact to focus on kids because you can hit them at the age of imprinting so this is something that that's really stuck with me so I I am heartbroken for how bad the system is I am heartbroken that people they get sucked into that system not only do they not seem rehabilitated it seems to try to optimize them for hardening up getting tougher they're around other criminals in a criminally minded place that spits you out where you don't have a lot of opportunities so man is it a system that hopefully somebody will disrupt I just don't know that my particular message is the message is going to disrupt them but it is something if I'm honest that I am intrigued by and to see if I could possibly have some impact there would be interesting it's not my focus right now but that would be interesting all right Edmond Dantes YouTube hi Thomas I'm getting older I realized just how much time I've wasted in the wrong mindset how do i reconcile that and use it to my advantage without allowing it to bury me and guilt Thanks okay the very simple answer is if you're gonna do everything based on your goals okay my goal is to achieve this awesome then ask does burying myself in guilt help me get there yes or no if it does bury yourself my experience is that it absolutely does not that while 20% of your time can go to that to be like I'm never [ __ ] going back there again I'm never gonna make that mistake again and thusly I am so open-minded to new ideas I'm not gonna become dogmatic even about what I think is my growth mindset I'm gonna be open whatever moves me forward I'm going to do let me tell you if somebody convinced me tomorrow that a growth mindset is [ __ ] I'll switch and I will have no problem coming here looking dead in the eye of everyone out there in the audience land and saying I was wrong I'll tell you right now the books so good they can't ignore you by Cal Newport changed my entire rhetoric and just belief system around passion 100% and the next day boom here it is oh my god this guy's enlightened me like never ever become dogmatic because that's what serves your goal so if you know that that's what serves your goal don't allow yourself to bury yourself in guilt it doesn't make sense so that is that's such a relief for me when I realized that something doesn't make sense beating myself up over something that I did or didn't do in the past it doesn't make sense beyond the 20% and the 20% is really just that nudge that you need in the ribs to stay focused to get going it isn't about beating yourself up it's about making sure that you're still motivated to keep pushing and moving forward that's it all right Greg Kobe Facebook thanks Tom for all of the amazing content how do you figure out what goals are worth pursuing where do you begin if you're trying to figure out your why ok so this really comes down to understanding what is giving you energy more energy than it takes it's not gonna be the same for everybody it comes down to resonance what resonates with you so you need to experience a lot of things this is why I think Kevin Kelly's notion of don't prematurely optimize burn that into your psyche don't prematurely optimize go out experience a lot of stuff fumble around waste time get lost backpack don't worry about making money just experience experience experience and in that you will find something that piques your interest you find that it captures your imagination that you're intrigued to dive into a deeper then do that dive into a deeper explore it more fully fully see if it's becoming a fascination if it's becoming a fascination then you can really go down the process of turning it into a passion but that requires again to our boy Cal Newport that requires that you go down the path of actually gaining mastery I think passion is like love there's I don't think you're truly in love if it's one-sided love is about this give and take it's in exchange the same is true of passion unless you're actively gaining mastery unless you're getting good at that and able to put that to use in the real world and you see by gaining these skills I'm able to actually manifest my will in the real world in a way that helps other people that's when it becomes a passion so focus on that so I think that you need to do that experience a lot things and then when something really piques your interest you go down that path but don't prematurely optimize alright people are wishing me birthday wishes which I've tried to like be uber low-key about so how do people even notice my birthday I have killed every single piece of content that says it's my birthday interesting I've even lied about my birthday on Facebook thank you that's incredibly kind and generous I don't take it for granted thank you thank you thank you very very generous next question is from Kevin Nilo this is Facebook hey Tom what's your best advice for someone just graduating from college with no sense of direction and no job go get lost go explore go do things that interest you dive deep don't prematurely optimize so this is something that I think is missing in people's lives today if you don't know what you want to pursue then don't start pursuing something with all your might it is very okay to be dirt poor it is very okay to be broke like in that early period of your life your early 20s man it is so okay to not be making a lot of money as long as you're able to eat and you would be startled by how little money that takes it's okay go out discover play bumble around do whatever it takes to begin to discover the things that really give you energy that will serve you incredibly well because feeling alive that's the name of the game all right Adrian Garcia YouTube Tom pleasure meeting you know WonderCon my man amazing you have all the love from my heart right now thank you for coming by my question is excuse me how do you start the process of changing a culture in the workplace when do you decide whether to cut people if they don't fit the culture man now you're asking the hard questions here so the reality is that this is something that I'm still exploring I'm gonna give you my logic but I think Ray Dalio is the man to listen to here I think he just in his book principles lays out all the nuance of how you do this the reality is number one you have got to have people that are so obsessed with finding out the truth for their own reasons by the way that they want to live in a world where they're able to improve themselves and becoming able to improve yourself has everything to do with identifying the truth of where you are what are you good at what are you not good at that's really really critical so you need to be everyone in the organization needs to be willing to say the truth and they need to be willing to hear the truth oftentimes people are willing to say and they're not willing to hear or and I actually find this is super common they're willing to hear the truth but they're not willing to say it which oddly enough may actually be more typical than the reverse people have a really hard time saying something that they are they worried will hurt somebody else's feelings that has certainly been my struggle I am way more ready to hear the truth about myself than I am to like say the hard things other people that's so uncomfortable but that's what you have to demand in your organization now the easy one for me to know when to let somebody go is do they make the place better or worse if they make the place worse if they're toxic if they're gossipy if they're just pissing and moaning which this is another thing from principals this is so [ __ ] important if you have a critical thought even if you don't say it you must verbalize and tell people that critical thought otherwise that stuff turns toxic so if somebody is toxic if they're making this a worse place to be then they gotta go that's the simplest way now I will just again encourage you to go read Ray Dalio brilliant book principles which is for sure the single most powerful business book I have ever read in my life read it alright next question from crafty B YouTube hi Tom you always say that you punish yourself if you don't follow through on something how exactly do you punish yourself and for how long I find they can't stop for days so I definitely would not punish myself for days that is again going back to what your gold is punishing yourself for days move you towards that or move you away from it chances are it moves you away from it I only allocate about 20% of my time to anything negative let alone punishment but it's not even always punishment it's thinking negative thoughts thinking about the people that hate me or want me to fail whatever I never spent more than 20% of the time in that darkness so my punishments are very acute very short-lived but it comes down to honestly I built my identity and my expectations for myself so acutely they're so clear crystal clear in my mind like the other day and in fact part of punishing myself is admitting this to you guys it was like I don't know day 3 or day 4 the fast I was just [ __ ] tired man I just felt so uh netic with my alarm went off I'd been coughing all night it was just lame and I didn't get out of bed in ten minutes or less which is like a hard and fast line that I hold myself to and so I was disappointed and I was like medicine [ __ ] like you're accepting excuses and I because I wasn't living up to who I say I am and who I want to be it felt bad and that is the punishment like it's just my identity is so clear to me and the way they don't want to feel about myself when I'm by myself is so clear that when I don't when I miss that mark and I don't get to feel good about myself it's it's an opportunity cost it's that like man I could have felt really good in this moment but instead I feel bad like that's it it's not I don't you know grab a whip and self-flagellating myself or anything like that it's just I know that I'm disappointing myself I know that I didn't do what I said I was gonna do I know that that however mild it is has a knock-on effect to the team and I'm not gonna be able to accomplish as much as I want I know then that when I go push the team that I'm gonna feel a little bit conflicted about that because I said I would get up in ten minutes or less and I didn't so it's like it all has to mean something to you once it means something to you once you've baked it into your identity once you really live by that [ __ ] once it's all a part of how you think about yourself then all of a sudden the punishment happens by itself and I just don't try to stop it I don't try to hide from it I don't try to run from it I accept I said I was gonna do it I didn't do it that sucks bad on me I do not look well on that and own life and so yeah it doesn't feel good and that's it that's the punishment that I do all right not of not of Michael forgive I'm butchering that one my apologies this is from Facebook Tom how did you develop cutthroat awareness without lying to yourself about what you need to do this one is very easy to answer I introduced the word yet I introduced the word yet so when you realize that you're not good at this and you add the word yet I'm not good at this yet suddenly it frees you up I could get good at this if I wanted to my identity is not tied around Who I am it's tied around who I'm willing to become in the price I'm willing to pay to get there it's not around being right being good being worthy it's around being willing to admit that I'm not yet the person that I need to be it's being willing to stare at my inadequacies it's that it's priding myself on identifying the right answer instead of trying to be right those are the things that if you make those changes in your life it becomes very easy to be honest with yourself because being honest with yourself when you realize that you're wrong it becomes an opportunity to be right so at the end of the day it's all driven by that goal I want to get there but I can't get there if I'm lying to myself I'm blind if I don't know what's wrong so when you really want that goal and you insert the word yet all of a sudden it becomes very easy to be very very honest all right next question is from Pranjal raman this is on facebook how receptive should I be to the opinions of others of me when I firmly believe I'm doing the right thing for myself so I think it is always good to scan the opinions of other people even when they are hostile even even when they are overtly meant as an attack to really look at that and say is there any truth in this here's a great news when people attack you they almost always go for something real it is very rare that somebody tries to attack you for something that isn't real so really look at that thing and figure out okay is there some truth in here is there something that I can address because if they're hitting you with something that's true and that if you fixed that you'd be in a more powerful position than is very wise to listen to the opinions of other people having said that you need to think more about yourself and you need to trust your vision more than you worry about what other people think it's gonna sting when people don't like what you're doing or don't believe in you or whatever but at the end of the day if you look at it and there's truth take the truth make an adjustment don't worry about anything else it's just that's gonna make you more powerful if there's no truth in it and it stings then just let it go and focus on what it is you're trying to accomplish but at the end of the day this is all being driven by the goal so if something they say can help you get the goal you're gonna take it if something they say hurts but can't help you reach your goal you're going to ignore it it's that simple next question is from Ludovic Adam what are three simple good habits you have that help you take control number one diet and exercise I cannot stress that enough man you've got to optimize your mind because when your mind is suboptimal you're just gonna be all over the place next sleep when you're fatigued like again you're gonna be all over the place you're just gonna have a really hard time getting control of your emotions and then number three learning about the brain really understanding the way that it works understanding that your brain is basically three separate layers you've got the what they call the lizard brain which is the oldest brain on top of that you have the mammalian brain which is in charge of your emotions and on top of that you have the neocortex the thing that makes you uniquely human which is the ability to control your impulses so literally the neocortex and understanding how it interacts with emotions and the lizard brain the the fight flight freeze response that like tactically is the most important thing that you need to do for me being able to envision that understanding what that process is knowing what's going on neuro chemically that's one of the things that's really helped me get control of my mind I could go on and on having good habits bright lines those things are incredibly important but those three things I think are so rudimentary and fundamental and I think people overlook them especially the first two people really really undervalue the need for diet and exercise to be totally on point and then in this like hustler mentality world people don't think you need sleep and I just call total [ __ ] on that I prioritize sleep there was a time in my life where I was getting six hours sleep naturally and it was awesome and I was just waking up and then literally overnight I switched to getting like eight hours sleep I have no idea why what changed but I didn't try to stop it I didn't set an alarm I didn't do anything to mess up my sleep if I need eight hours I'm gonna get eight hours simple-ass so do those three things and I think that you will be in a great position to take control Edythe mustafa youtube hi Tom how do I stay optimistic after constant failures for the past five years ever since I came to a new country it's been failure after failure for the first time I'm starting to doubt myself alright so failure is simply an information rich data stream once you understand that it is information rich the whole point of a failure is what information am I getting out of this once you understand that it's meant for you to be taking out the information and getting better and holding yourself to a standard of learning growing doing discipline practice actually improving then hopefully no matter how many failures you've had you realize each failure is making me a little better a little better a little better a little better and you just need to figure out where do I think that breaking point is so what is it that I'm trying to do how long do I think it's gonna take me to a massive skill set that I need to get there all of that is absolutely critical remember this [ __ ] takes a lot of time even when you're going all-out it's gonna take a long time so don't start panicking five years in is nothing at the five-year mark of my entrepreneurial journey I was still an absolute [ __ ] I knew nothing so knowing that even going all out even with an F patience mentality it is still going to take a lot of time you always have to be playing the long game so the only reason I would doubt yourself is if you don't think that you're taking the time to and if you're not taking the time to learn I would say immediately immediately switch up your pitch stop every time a failure happens really break down what happened what went wrong remembering that it's all your fault and figure out what you could have done differently so that you do it differently next time and have a higher chance of being successful all right next question is from Robbie gutless I'm guessing that's not a real name and everybody knows my rant on be careful what screen names you choose because reinforcing gutless Ness and your mind is not great by my estimation all right hello again Tom how do you become and remain humble more specifically how do you not let your ego get in the way and self-sabotage all right man maybe it is just me but I've failed so many times in my life that staying humble just is not difficult so that's just like my default setting I've just [ __ ] up too much so I don't have any grandiose visions of myself now every now and then I'll be crushing it really [ __ ] hard and I think oh my god like I am so good at this and in those moments I built in a mechanism where I'm like okay this is awesome feel that really embody that confidence this is amazing this is gonna serve you well then on the other hand make sure you really look at what if secretly you're actually an idiot and you're really doing this wrong remember to me being an idiot being stupid none of that is like some permanent state about Who I am it just means that I don't have information that I need I haven't learned something that I need to learn so like I'm loving the confidence I'm feeling that's amazing but now I need to also check myself and like ooh what what if everything that I'm thinking is wrong like what if there's just a massive dollop of luck in this and really checking yourself against that I think is incredibly powerful as a mechanism now remember I just don't need that to stay humble because in any given day I have so many little failures that it's like man like I just get it like the human animal is not that impressive so you're gonna [ __ ] up and you're gonna make mistakes and you are prone to biases and all of that stuff so yeah just I don't know it's so self-evident to me to not get too full of myself and the dangers that lie therein and here's a big part of it like connecting with other people and really understanding not only my humanity but their humanity and that nobody's perfect that's like that's a beautiful thing to me and I love that and I don't want to feel separate from other people and so feeling like oh I'm this you know super cool guy that's like achieved all this stuff like if that made me feel separate from other people I wouldn't jive on that so it just makes me feel disconnected also it gives me anxiety because I know that around the next corner I'm gonna make some big catastrophic mistake that's just my life has shown me that over and over and over so since I know some huge embarrassing mistake is coming my way being connected with people being authentic being real being vulnerable it's just way better for my anxiety levels that's it Anna Cecilia Facebook Tom I have a hard time overcoming fear fear of failure and not being able to get and accomplish my goals how do I conquer fear what helps you move through it and not get stuck because of it I know that the struggle is guaranteed and success is not since I know that to be true I really focus on making sure that the process is thoroughly enjoyable that I'm loving what I'm doing on a day to day basis that I'm loving the people that I'm around that I love what I'm striving towards but that my happiness my fulfillment my joy my energy is not in any way shape or form tied to actually crossing the goal it's tied to sincerely pursuing it now that's the key it's not about faking I'm [ __ ] here to build this studio let me tell you right now with every ounce of my being I poured my soul into achieving that goal I'm going all out to make that a reality at the same time I know that I may never achieve it and that's fine but I'm sincerely chasing it and I'm really enjoying the process and at the end of the day those are the two things that matter Louie Christine this is YouTube hey Tom how do you make sure retain the books that you write sorry about that how do you make sure that you've retained the books you read I've been doing a 52 books for 2018 challenge and I'm still on track which makes me proud but I'm afraid I don't retain everything all right so first and foremost you're not gonna retain everything so don't even worry about that but if you're taking notes if you're really stopping to think about the things that are powerful in that book and then the most important part you put them to immediate use in your life you'll be startled by how much you retain out of that but don't make your goal getting to the 52 books in 2018 make your goal to learn as much as you can from those books while reading as many as you can and still getting the nuggets out of it that are going to empower you but often times I may only take two or three things away from a book that really stick with me at least with my mind that's just the way it goes and I take copious notes so but that's just the way that it goes oftentimes I'll encounter those same ideas from other people and that helps more things accumulate accumulate over time but that's why I like for instance I I'm pretty much always reading a book on mindset of some kind so that I've got it like from a thousand different angles so if I'm only taking two or three things like permanently away from any one book those things begin to compound and over time over years over decades all of a sudden you've got a whole lot of information and remember I'm trying to put those things to immediate use if I read something at 9:00 a.m. by 9:30 I'm trying to use it in some way so use it use it use it that's really the key sym land what is up dude Facebook how are you going to break your five-day fast just had my own five-day one a few days ago well congratulations to making it to the end of your fast and I'm gonna be doing my favorite meal which is protein nachos so I take quest protein chips look yes it's my company but that's actually what I eat so this is not just a shameless plug but I'm gonna take quest protein chips and on top of that I'd get Domino's pizza but I scrape the toppings off so I don't eat any of the any of the crust so and I take that and then and I should say my wife takes that she does this all for me she is amazing and she spreads out the chips spreads out the toppings from the pizza which is a pepperoni and black olive pizza so it's cheese pepperoni black olives and she puts that on top then she sprinkles more cheese especially so it all sticks together and then so that it gets crispy the edges which is so delicious and then I use those as dipping mechanisms for guacamole and it is so good and I'm a little traumatized as you're asking that now because I'm hours away from breaking that fast and that is making me really hungry but that is how I will break that fast I'm super excited about that I don't cheat so I'm not gonna you know break oh actually I am gonna cheat because it's my birthday as you guys know and not today but tomorrow I'm going to see ready player one and so that's gonna be a lot of fun and because I'm doing that I'm gonna have popcorn so that will be my one cheap that it's not how I'm gonna break my fast which today I'm gonna break with the protein nachos alright so funny now my stomach is like grumbling all right Sam Montoya q YouTube hey Tom what would you say is your biggest gap in your life right now and how are you working on filling that gap dude I have no [ __ ] idea how to build the studio that is the truth right I am figuring this out as I go I have a very strong vision for I think it's going to work but every time I encounter something I realize oh actually I was thinking wrong about that oh I need to adjust here so that is really the thing and I think building my network is gonna be super super critical and man it's so powerful the number of people that have begun introducing me to other people like in comics I just started telling everybody step one of building the studio's building comics people have come out of the woodwork they're so generous to tell me like these are the people that you need to talk to you people that have now consulted for me Jim Krueger who's an Eisner award-winning writer thank you to Oliver who introduced me he's now come on board he's now introducing us other writers and artists it's so [ __ ] incredible so anyway that's my biggest gap I'm filling it by a telling everybody what I'm up to I find that they're super weird about this but you want to tell everybody what you're up to that way they know in case they have some connection that you need they could put you in contact with that help you out building out my network super super important and being so open to being so wrong knowing that hey I've got this vision I think it's gonna work I'm feeling really good about it but if it's not I'm changing in a heartbeat I'm taking people's information advice I'm learning from the people that I go pitch and I think this is a no-brainer this is a no-brainer but then figuring out why they said no like for instance I went to Warner Brothers DC and I said hey let me have the rights to the Matrix comic book and I'm gonna revitalize the franchise it's gonna be amazing which by the way tomorrow is the anniversary of the release of The Matrix we're doing a big matrix party here today I'm very excited and I hope to make this a bigger and bigger deal every year annually March 31st came out in 1999 one day my hope is to be doing red carpet events screening at movie theaters but for today much smaller than that but I wanted to get a hold of the rights to that so I could revitalize the franchise in comics and then my hope was that they would see how well I was doing in the comics and then they would let me be involved in the rebooting the film franchise they said no and the reason they said no was we're damned if we do damned if we don't so if we give you the the rights and you smash it everyone's gonna think we're idiots because we needed an outsider to come in and reboot the franchise and if you fail then were the idiots they gave it to an outsider who couldn't have possibly hoped to reboot the franchise so I was like yeah I actually get that so understanding where people are motivated that's really critical and understanding that their biggest motivation isn't necessarily rebooting or not rebooting the franchise their big motivator is pleasing shareholders and so you really have to understand all of that stuff and that that was something that you just learned by doing it so that's the other thing I'm just getting out there and doing it so having the booth at WonderCon was wildly instructive and by the way if any of you out there especially if you're on Instagram if you are a [ __ ] world-class artist DM me let me know what you're up to I want to see your artwork people have started now pain me that have [ __ ] world-class art it's amazing so yeah hit you boy up on this scram alright guys five minute warning got time for a couple more sterling stein Facebook hi Tom how do you feel worthy of asking for a mentor how do you get over feeling like you aren't an asset to them can ask them for help and they won't see you as some selfish kid who wants to drain them of the resources so one you need to be a value to them or don't go ask and I wouldn't go ask if I didn't think that I could lend anything so the thing that I had in the beginning was I was just willing to work in humanly smart now the bad news is I didn't have this information I was so fixed mindset it I didn't go and do this but this would be my advice to you if what you have is the ability to work really hard which by the way most people don't they think they do and then they get around me and they wilt like [ __ ] flowers so I'm saying if you for real have a work ethic that is second to none that you were a die-hard [ __ ] and you are prepared to go all-in and do whatever they ask without bitching if it's take-out-the-trash obviously within your code of ethics if you're working with a psychopath but I'm saying if they want you to make them tea coffee taking out the trash that you're gonna anticipate you're gonna figure out what they need and that you're gonna go hard never complain I always a bundle of energy like people want to be around people like that so if that's what you have to offer go offer that be honest with what you have to offer if that's all you've got then offer that and they'll put you hopefully in a position that makes sense but do that and by the way don't show up their [ __ ] house people have done that to me it's super [ __ ] creepy don't do it hit them up if they ignore you so be it move on to the next person but don't show up at their [ __ ] house you're really weird their wife out let me start with that so yeah that's how you do it all right Cassandra Reece and this is gonna be the last one how do I learn to complete something I start I'm not sure if it's because I feel it's not for me so I quit but even so I feel guilty for not completing that task alright so you need to understand the difference between a goal and a path so the goal is like this is my mission in life this is what I care about this is what I'm moving towards this is my everything it gives me more energy than it takes it is the most beautiful thing I can think of when I about accomplishing that I'm filled with radiant energy and I want to do that thing a path on the other hand is like for me building a studio building a studio is a path to pulling people out of the matrix if I realize that it doesn't actually work then I'm gonna stop doing it so I will quit a path in a heartbeat but my mission my goal is something so intrinsic to me something so fundamentally exciting and thrilling that you couldn't stop me from doing that if you wanted to so the key is to build that thing into your life to create something in your life that is that exciting for you that goes back to one of the earlier questions it's all around how do you create a passion in your life has to do with experiencing a whole lot of things not prematurely optimizing experience experience experience finding something that captures your imagination going hard on that thing seeing if it turns into a real fascination if it does then you go down the path of gaining mastery in it but never confuse your path with your goal if you're ditching paths so be it also I would recommend read the book grit by Angela Duckworth she talks about how some people just they fall in love with that beginning part of the process and they just don't have the grit to see it through and that is really hard to differentiate between am I just not being gritty and I just like to start something for a week or a couple months and then I'm on to the next thing or is it that I really just haven't found the right thing if you're bouncing from thing to thing to thing without seeing them through chances are you just haven't developed grit yet so read that book by Angela Duckworth alright guys thank you so much for joining me thank you all for the birthday wish is incredibly kind incredibly generous that means a lot to me and hopefully some of you will join me in the celebration technically tomorrow is the matrix's birthday which is March 31st 1999 but we're gonna be rocking it hard today I hope that you guys will enjoy it I think it's a perfect metaphor for human existence alright I'm not wearing one of my own shirts today but I would like to remind you guys that you can go to shop that impact Theory comm right now and pick up some of our merchandise which is powerful self signaling go they're inundated with purchases that would be amazing that's one way to support the show and everything that we're doing alright guys if you haven't already be sure to subscribe over here on Facebook not sure where or on YouTube not sure where it is if you're on Facebook and until next time my friends be legendary peace out [Music] [Applause] you