How to Take Control of Your Reality | Isaac Lidsky on Impact Theory

You know, in that moment of epiphany when I started to to think more about the cane and less about, you know, blindness capital B, I uh it was it was a liberating experience. It was an empowering experience. That's when it really, you know, hit me that everything I thought I knew about going blind or being blind was was these awful lies. Uh that's when I was able to make that connection between this experience of sight we have and I said, "Well, wait a minute. Isn't that kind of exactly what I did with my fears?" And shortly thereafter, kind of in in that realization, I guess, was this idea that life is choice. And I said, "If you keep If you tell yourself you're going to live this small and remarkable pathetic life and you're, you know, not going to love or respect yourself and, you know, you're not going to find a mate and all you can make that happen for yourself. Or you can choose to have a different life. Everybody, welcome to Impact Theory. You're here, my friends, because you believe that human potential is nearly limitless, but you know that having potential is not the same as actually doing something with it. So, our goal with this show and company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams. All right. Today's guest has had one of the most staggeringly diverse and successful careers ever. He began acting in commercials when he was an infant and then after being cast in roughly 150 commercials, he got his big break in Hollywood when at the age of 13, he landed the role of Weasel Wyzell on Saved by the Bell: The New Class. Overnight, he was a teen celebrity. But the show did not last long and it was over just as quickly as it had begun. But rather than lament the death of his Hollywood dream, he skipped a few grades, graduated early, and headed off to college, graduating from Harvard at the age of 19, and then Harvard Law shortly thereafter. He went on to clerk for Supreme Court Justices Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, ultimately becoming a litigator for the U.S. Justice Department, where he argued more than a dozen cases in federal court, never losing a single one. Somewhere in there, he also founded an internet tech company that would later sell for over $230 million. After realizing that his high-powered career in law wasn't for him. He finally left his high-paying Manhattan-based international law firm and bought a rapidly failing cement company in Orlando. A very unlikely choice that nearly cost him everything. But against the odds, he turned it around and in just five short years, he established ODC Construction as one of the country's most successful construction companies taking it from roughly $11 million in revenue to north of $150 million dollars. And did I mention that he did all of this blind? Literally. At the age of 13, he was diagnosed with a rare degenerative eye disease that slowly robbed him of his sight. What he's accomplished in life puts him in rarefied company already, but doing it blind puts him in a class all of his own. So, please help me in welcoming the New York Times best-selling author of Eyes Wide Open, the man whose main stage TED Talk received more than a million views in the first 20 days alone, the only blind law clerk ever to work for the Supreme Court, Isaac Lidsky. That's pretty amazing. Thank you. Pretty amazing, dude. And writing that, I was like, your career accomplishments are so crazy. Like, you don't need to lead with the fact that you're blind. Like, the it it would be easy to write that intro regardless of that. So, the fact that you were able to build a mindset that allowed you to do all of that is really astonishing. Now, what set me on fire for you is this whole notion that we live in a virtual reality. Mhm. Explain that. What was it about losing your sight that led you to that? And then, we'll dive in. So, you know, we we have this experience that, you know, sight is is truth, right? Seeing is believing, we say. And you know, you open your eyes, there's the world, it's immediate, it's passive, and it's it's reality. Uh well, the experience that I had sort of progressive progressively losing my sight from about 13 to about age 25 uh really shattered that illusion for me. Uh and I literally saw firsthand that uh sight, this is this magical experience of sight, far from objective truth or, you know, external reality, it's this personal virtual reality we create for ourselves. That implicates uh our memories, opinions, emotions, our conceptual understanding of the world, all sorts of things. And and yet we experience it sort of passively as this direct representation of the world. And that really was uh if you'll pardon the pun, an eye-opening uh realization for me. Uh that led to this this vision that I have cuz sight is really just one way, right, that we shape the realities we experience. We we create uh our own worlds uh in many other ways, really in every way. And and having the opportunity to to literally see that firsthand as I lost my sight, you know, turned out to be uh really one of the best things that ever happened to me in my life. That's really incredible that you're able to begin to frame it that way. And one of the things that um was so fascinating reading your book is your breakdown of how much resources the brain sucks up with sight. Yeah. Walk us through that. Like, how much of the brain is allocated to sight and then what's how have you begun to sort of re-engage with the world now that you don't have vision? Sure. So, sight's obviously very important uh evolutionarily and biologically, but it's not everything. And it's certainly not infallible. And uh in some respects, I think, you know, as I was saying there, I think there's a an interesting metaphor uh to be made or interesting lessons to draw from the way in which uh we experience uh sight as this all-consuming uh you know, passive reality, um you know, versus what's what's sort of really going on uh in the world and what's really going on in our minds. And and sight's a crazy thing. I apologize if I'm rambling, but uh so, some electromagnetic light hits the back of our eyes, you know, our retinas. Photoreceptor cells in the back of the eye respond to that light, send a signal to the brain. We call the part of the electromagnetic spectrum that our eyes respond to the visible spectrum, right? Well, that spectrum of light of electromagnetic radiation is 1/10 trillionth of the total spectrum of of electromagnetic radiation that's out there. So, you know, we got this back of the eye that responds to 1/10 trillionth of electromagnetic the electromagnetic radiation in our world. Uh from that, you know, we create this abstracted unique personal virtual world that involves, like I said, all sorts of things that have nothing to do with data from the eyes. Sight itself is really only about 10% data from the eyes. And yet, we walk around or sighted folks walk around thinking that they, you know, quote unquote know what the world looks like. The idea is crazy. It's nonsense. And that to me is is one of the most powerful things about your book. It and in fact, the reason that you've said you wrote the book wasn't for people with disabilities or blindness specifically, certainly, but that you wanted your kids to read it one day so that they would have that frame of reference so that they would understand that basically you're living in this virtual representation, like you said, gave me the chills, that only 10% of vision is created from the data that's coming from your eyes. And so, the rest is being constructed is being constructed by what, right? So, once you realize that your brain is constructing the world around you and it doesn't necessarily always serve you, then it empowers you to start making choices about not only what to believe but perspective, how to see things. And so, taking that perspective shift, you've talked a lot about fear very powerfully. Um what is it what is fear? Why is it such a potent force in our life? And with new perspective, what can we do to it? Sure. So, you know, real-world experience. Have you ever had, uh you know, the experience where you spot someone across the room, you walk over, tap them on the shoulder, and it's a complete stranger turns out, right? So, you know, we say very quickly we say, "Oh, we thought it was our friend." Or we thought it was our colleague. And that's just not true. We knew it. Right? In your In your world, in your reality, your friend was there. Right? And then it turned out they weren't. So, uh fear we, if we're not careful, we can experience uh much the same way. Fear is this is this natural response. It serves an evolutionary purpose, to be sure. It's very helpful in a lot of ways. Uh but it's also powerfully destructive. So, fear is this mechanism that sort of fills in the unknown, right? When we When we confront uh times of change, times of crisis, you know, when we're when we're uncertain, you know, our fears kick in and we fill in really the worst-case scenario, right? We awfulize. Psychologists call it awfulizing, which I think is a great term, but you know, we fill in the you know, the worst-case scenario, and we have all these dark imaginings. And these are things that we tell ourselves. They're machinations of our own mind, but uh much like that friend at that party, yeah, these aren't things that we think. We experience them as things that we know, right? If we're not careful. Uh when I was first diagnosed with my blinding disease, I knew that blindness was going to ruin my life, right? It meant I was going to live a wholly unremarkable life, small and sad. Uh I would never, you know, it would be the end of achievement for me. I thought I'd never have a family uh because uh you know, I wasn't even going to love or respect myself. How could I expect someone else to love or respect me? And on and on and on. And these were lies born of my fears. Uh born of ignorance. Uh but uh for some time, I knew them to be true. And uh I think uh had I not had the blessing of this uh this sort of shattering of the illusion of sight itself that I speak of, this sort of peek behind the curtains into sort of uh you know, the way the mind works, the wizard behind the curtains, right? If I hadn't learned to see through those fears eyes wide open, I I I would have I mean, that's the world I would have lived. That would have been my life. And the only difference is perspective. It's in here. It's It's nothing out there uh in the world. So, uh you know, like I said, this this this is this journey of mine, losing my sight and then gaining this vision, has been immeasurably rewarding for me and and fulfilling, and it's been one of the best things that happened. That makes so much sense to me when I think about um the man behind the curtain or the, you know the Wizard of Oz once you realize that they're there, that's been really potent in my life as well. So, when I first started on my entrepreneurial journey, I was a total mess and I had no idea how to make the things happen that I wanted to make happen and I found that my own ego was getting in my way and that once I realized that my ego was based on something and I could change what that was that I could flip that around, then all of a sudden I could value myself based on being a learner, being willing to admit that I was wrong instead of trying to be smart, right, or whatever. And that was really transformative. And being able to visualize the structures of the brain, being able to understand from an evolutionary perspective why I was set up to be fearful or whatever was incredibly powerful. Do you find that being able to becoming aware of the visual tricks, cuz you've said that things would morph right before your eyes as you were losing your sight, I think one time you said you went to wash your hands and realized you were actually touching a urinal, and but it looked like a sink until you finally realized it was a urinal. Does being able to visualize the the physical machinations of the brain help you with things other than sight? Oh, sure. Absolutely. And you know, as you said, I mean the the value in this this this eyes wide open vision that you know that I speak of is is you know it's it's not about sight, it's not about blindness. It's it's about the lessons we can take you know in in really taking control over the reality we want for ourselves. Literally choosing who you want to be and how you want to live your life in in any moment, right? So, yes we do this with sight but we do it with the self-limiting assumptions we make about ourselves. You know, we do it with the way we misperceive success and weakness and failure and strength in life with with the way that we uh I think really misperceive luck, the force of luck in life. Our insecurities, our vanities, our our seeming uh uh to listen to each other let alone to our own hearts, and and on and on and on. So, this really is for me it's a it's a it's it's my daily philosophy, right? It's it's it takes effort. There was no uh aha moment right up on some hill where it all you know, flipped you know, a switch flipped and it all became perfect for me. Uh I struggle with it every day. Some days I'm not so good at it, but it is my aspiration. And it's certainly worthwhile, I think. On the days where you're not so good at it, what actually is happening? You know, there are times still when I, you know, have have fears, when I fear failure, right? When I wrestle with that critic in my mind telling me all sorts of awful things. When I, you know, am uncareful and find that I'm um projecting onto others insecurities or vanities that are really all my own. And step one is being conscious of it and being aware of it. Uh but that that doesn't always mean it's super easy to overcome it, but I I try again, you know, to to I hold myself uh accountable above all else for uh my role in in in shaping, you know, the reality that I experience in every moment. Uh so, I do try to, you know, talk to my I do talk to myself often and say, "Listen, you're feeling lousy, you're worried about this, you're scared about that, you're upset about this, and, you know, it's okay. You're human, but let's let's pull it apart. And, you know, let's go through the strategies that I've uh developed over the years to to, you know, overcome those things." So, I want to get into some of those strategies that in the book, one of the most incredible parts was when you buy the cement company in Orlando, which by the way, when you look back on it, it becomes insanely successful. Like, there's a safety net to that. We've all already landed. We know it works out. Right. But, you didn't know that it was going to work out. You've got your business partners like telling you, "Hey, it took me 20 years to, you know, save up and protect my family financially. You ruined it in 3 months." Your mom is having to offer you money for you to keep the company going. You've already had to tell your wife that we're going to have to declare personal bankruptcy. Moving with her parents. Right. Just to really make it fun. Yeah. And in the book you actually walk through like step-by-step what your brain was telling you, the critic. So, you you differentiate between the critic and the strong man, which I want to hear more about. Sure. And then you really walk through like super raw and vulnerable those steps. What what was that like for you going through that? And how what were the mechanisms or the just the dialogue in your brain that you used to silence the critic? Sure. So, you know, it's it's uh I I wanted so badly to surrender gracefully. And the company we bought was toxic. It was hemorrhaging money and it looked like, you know, we had lost everything. And then I had this this lifeline from uh from my mom, this offer of uh essentially her life savings to try to save my business. And Whew. That was uh it it was almost uh an unwanted offer, right? I wanted so desperately, like I said, to just kind of give up. But um again, you're sort of putting my money where my mouth is on this sort of philosophy and and taking a step back to to you know, really hold myself accountable for uh you know, the choices I was going to make and what I wanted in life, you know, on the inside of the business, we were even more excited about the vision. We were super excited about our team. Uh we felt we could bring, you know, technology and professionalism to a very unsophisticated industry. And so, logically, rationally, uh you know, with with some money, with some time, you know, we could turn the ship around. And that was certainly a better uh approach than than giving up, right? So, uh you know, when when when you're honest with yourself and and you know the right uh step you got to make and uh you know, you got to do it. And you got to get yourself there. What I love is looking at your life, it'd be really easy to dismiss you as just being unnaturally smart. And just saying like, "Look, this guy's a genius. Like, it is what it is. I could never do what he does." And what I found so empowering about your book and what I think is so cool about what you're doing in this phase of your life is in the book you you walk people through where you're saying you're putting this map together of these incredible entrepreneurs that have come before you that have been bold, but you're not that good. Like you're never going to live up to that. And I was just like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. Like the guy who it would be tempting for me to just dismiss as being unnaturally smart is saying, "It's easy for him to like dismiss other people as being unnaturally smart." And it it is this so natural thing for everybody to have that voice in their head that says that they can't do it. And then the the punchline is that it was basic execution that ended up pulling you out of that. So, talk to me, what is the strongman? What is that whole concept? Yeah, so you know, the the the this critic in our minds, you know, it's that that nasty voice that uh is quick to pass judgment, to tell us what we can't do, uh you know, to keep us off the field, to tell us what others are thinking and saying about us, right? And uh the way this sort of critic can be so effective, so powerful in in in in kind of dominating our lives uh in in my experience is by uh through uh an insistence on perfection, right? Which is impossible. Like the the critic insists upon perfection, which essentially guarantees your failure. Uh through comparison, relative merit, right? That critic will compare you to anybody, right? Real or imagined from any era, you know, especially when you compare unfavorably. You know, and the critic will swap out, you know, different definitions of success or value or purpose or you know, for your own, and you know, you won't even notice it. So, uh you know, the critic and of course this comes from Teddy Roosevelt's, you know, brilliant remarks about the critic and the strongman. The critic for me really is sort of that embodiment of uh you know, again, our fear of failure, you know, our our own worst enemy in our minds. Uh Roosevelt's strongman on the other hand, you know, is is someone who has no use for perfection, right? Only progress, right? Someone who values effort and growth, right, whose focus is the is momentum, right, the next step, not this overarching enterprise, this overwhelming endeavor, but what is my next step? And, you know, for the strongman, uh success lies in in in striving, in actually striving, right, towards a noble pursuit, which at the end of the day is the only thing we can control, right? Uh whether or not uh we are striving to our best toward a noble pursuit. And the outcome is less important. It's funny you mentioned that uh you know, at the time that I was going through what I I obviously did not know that we were going to turn around ODC Construction and it would be a great success. You know, you make a big decision and, you know, later it either works out phenomenally well or is a catastrophic failure. Well, it's so tempting in the face of the catastrophic failure to go back and beat yourself up and say, "Oh, this was the worst decision and I'm an idiot and this was terrible." And likewise, in the face of uh great success, it's very easy for people to tell themselves, "Well, man, I must have been a genius, right? I'm the smartest guy there is." And just as a law of uh of physics, right, as a as as as a proposition of logic, that can't be true. It it cannot be that subsequent events, you know, determine the the the quality of actions you make, decisions you make, conversations you have, you know, behaviors you exhibit. You have to assess those things from the perspective of uh you know, the time in which they take place. So, how does that how does that pan out in my experience? Was I a you know, a you know, visionary genius to to buy this uh struggling construction company, you know, when we did? No, it was I mean, it was a it was a disaster. We thought we were buying uh you know, a humble company, but a going concern and we we bought so you know, a company that was sinking like a stone. Uh did it work out well? Yeah, of course. And it worked out phenomenally well. I'm I'm blessed beyond contemplation. You know, again, I credit the team with that and and the timing and the vision and luck and all those things, but I'm not going to go back and say it was uh you know, a great decision. Um and likewise, this is the harder part. Likewise, um you know, I think it's really important that we don't uh uh you know, we don't read our own press, right? We don't get too excited about uh great outcomes where maybe the the decisions that led to them or the journey along the way was uh you know, was less than uh worthy. Now, that makes a lot of sense. There's um a quote in your book about the strong man that that echoes what you just said, which I thought was so powerful. I want to read it um exactly as it is. The strong man savors the first step. He is impatient for it, craves it. As long as he strives valiantly with his first step, he has won. Mhm. What do you mean by that? Ah. We are uh you know, so often our own worst enemies, right? We we keep ourselves uh you know, off the stage, you know, for fear of bad reviews. And don't even realize that, you know, in the process we're, you know, forgetting how to dance and losing the joy in it, right? Uh and it's just such a shame. You know, for me, that first step of the strong man to me kind of conveys and encompasses, you know, um sort of victory over that critic, right? That's where you've said, "Look, maybe this is crazy, maybe it's not, maybe you know, maybe everybody thinks I'm, you know, way off base here. Whatever. All the what ifs, all the, you know, why not why I should, why I should whatever. I've put all that aside, and I have committed to, you know, enter the arena. And that is the defining moment, I think, for the strong man. And uh what I I think when we're honest with ourselves and when we start to recognize significance in in in in in in in moments like that in our lives. When we start to say, "Well, if I did this, it would be it's a big move, right?" And it doesn't have to be a huge move financially or economic or even, you know, it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else why it's a big move. It's a big move for you. It's important to pay attention to those feelings because uh often that's that's the strong man inside trying to tell you, "We can do this." You know, we let's get over this uh you know, our fears, let's get over our uh you know, our self-doubt, and And let's do this. You talked earlier about how people misperceive things. They misperceive success and that the critic will even change the definition of success. What is an anchor point, a vision of success? Is there something that's universal that you think applies to everybody or is there a process to defining success in a way that will resonate? I don't think so. Personally, I think uh you know who am I to even begin to contemplate what someone else should or should not uh aspire to do with their time or their lives or whatever, right? We're we're all uh masters of our own universes, right? Alone in our own worlds and and I you know, I don't purport to tell anyone how they should behave or what they should aspire to or what success should be. However, however, uh I certainly think everybody, you know, should should figure it out, right? You you should figure it out for yourself because time's going to go by either way and you know, you can live a life of happenstance, of reaction, uh you know, or you can take some time to figure out how you want to spend your time, who you want to be, who you want to be at work, you know, who you want to be as a parent, who you want to be as a spouse and on and on and on and and you know, you can you can try to be that person and you can try to live that life. So, that's what I have in mind when I say, you know, you you really uh should define your success, your purpose and and and labor towards it. Well, let's get really specific then. So, you've had such a diverse life. One, I'll just walk through a few. Uh why not you have success in Hollywood, but you immediately stop. Uh you then have success at at law that is just on another planet and you stop. Obviously, the tech firm ended up doing very well, but as far as I know, you moved out of that fairly rapidly. Um so, all of these things, like you've been able to break free of the trap that most people get into, which is there's momentum in their life, they're succeeding, everyone says they're crazy when they go to leave, but you've done that over and over and over. So, you obviously are way in touch with your balance sheet. So, like what walk us through one or two of those and really say like leaving law I'm going to guess was the hardest one. Like you're so That was a tough one. invested. Like how what did you walk through? What were the I've got this going but not this? So, that was a tough one uh you know unless and until I actually thought about it rationally and logically, right? And then it then it was pretty obvious. What you those are often the hardest decisions to make, right? But so, you know, here I was I had been blessed to have phenomenal experiences in law in the public sector, right? Working for the Justice Department, clerking for a couple US Supreme Court Justices. Love that. And then I sort of took the easy path, the direct path, you know, accepted a phenomenal cushy job in a very fancy elite law firm, an international law firm. And parents were very very proud. I had, you know, gorgeous business cards in a skyscraper office and all that. But uh you know, I was expected to you know, to work, to bill, you know, 60, 70, 80, you know, crazy hours every week. And I was involved in kind of litigation as warfare with uh a constant view towards uh the billings of the law firm. And and it just wasn't the way I wanted to practice law. A lot of people weren't people I wanted to practice law with. Uh I certainly didn't want to spend, you know, 100 hours a week doing it. Just none of that made any sense. So, everybody thought I was completely nuts and maybe they're right. But uh you know, the more I thought about it, the more I said, "Look, you know, nothing is permanent in life. There's nothing that says if I ever want to practice law again, I can't go back to it or in some other capacity or in you know, uh some other city or whatever." But you know, for now what's important to me and what am I looking to accomplish uh in my life? You know, going back to that balance sheet. Um and at that point in my life really by far above all else, you know, it was it was really quality of life and time with my family. Got to talking to my roommate Zach as you mentioned and and you know, we thought, "Hey, let's buy a small business together." And he would help me, you know, he'd pay for most of it, but he would keep his fancy day job. And I'd leave behind my fancy day job and run it and you know, what could possibly go wrong? So that was the the thesis, I guess you would say, that brought us to Orlando and that you know, sort of took me to uh uh take the helm as the first chief executive officer of our uh residential construction subcontractor. And of course uh you know, they say man plans, God laughs. Uh didn't it didn't didn't turn out quite that way, but uh that was a good decision at the time uh to to leave law. That was the right decision for me and my family. So then the construction company blows up, you make a lot of right decisions. I'm sure you'd attribute it a lot obviously to the team, but to luck as well. Yes. But now things are going well and instead of just continuing to scale it and grow it, you decide that you want to back off. Again, a pretty atypical choice. Well, so look, you know, again, my goal was quality of life for my family. You've said that happiness is a choice. Sure. In what way? How do we choose to be happy? Everything is a choice. Every moment of your life is a choice. Uh how do you want to spend that moment? Who do you want to be? It is not the circumstances we confront that dictate the lives we experience. It just cannot be. There are counter examples all over the place. I'm just a blind guy, like that's no big deal, but you know, you think about you know, prison prisoners of war who endure the most unspeakable of uh you know, of human atrocities, Nazi concentration camp survivors and on and on and on and you you find examples of remarkable people who despite the circumstances make a choice to find purpose in life, to find joy, to be a source of strength for others in their lives. And you know, these these shining folks, you know, again to my mind, prove categorically it's not the circumstances we confront that dictate how we you know, the lives we experience. So, choose to be happy literally in every moment and and again, I'm not saying it's easy again and I'm not you know, I'm not saying it's always easy for me, but it's certainly a worthwhile endeavor. I mean, you know, you spill on yourself or you you knock something over or you know, you're late for a meeting or You know, it it can derail you. It can be you know, something quote-unquote awful where you know, meanwhile most of the world is worried about you know, health care and food and clothing. But you know, or you can choose to laugh about it. And you can choose to have fun with it. You can choose to let it go. And again, every I think every moment is is you know, an amalgam of of precisely those choices. And I I think it behooves us to to spend some time thinking about our answers. And do you have a process or a mantra or is it as simple as choosing to laugh when you want to do anything else to actually manifest that happiness? It's not simple. I don't I don't think there's much in life that's simple. Everything's nuanced. It really sort of it depends on on the context. If you're in times of crisis it's a little different than if you're a failure and other other sorts of things. So there are some nuances there and then you know, some other strategies I think we can bring to bear to to look at things like luck in our lives. And the fundamental idea like I said is you know, you're the master of your reality. And you know, once you buy that once you're willing to take responsibility for the fact that you know, you are literally creating the life you are experiencing, the reality, you know, your reality is your creation. Again, the rest is details. And so getting into some of those details at least of that process. So we're living in a reality that we create which I buy into more deeply than you can imagine. Literally my entire company is predicated on that notion. The success I've had in life is as a result of realizing that in the same way that you have. What are what are the processes of making that subconscious process, right? Cuz we're not consciously creating this virtual reality. It's happening subconsciously. So how do we take conscious control of that or what are the insertion points to to grab on to something like that so that we can begin to construct a reality that's more useful? Sure. So you know, how to strip away some of the you know, some of the noise, some of the some of the chaos. Let's take you know, again this notion of of the critic and and this notion of the way we you know, can keep ourselves off the stage and or we can be our own, you know, worst enemies in terms of our fear of failure. You know, there's several at several sort of key moments in my life. There were two really simple questions that I've used to try to take back control of my reality in those situations. You know, one being, what is it truly that I aim to accomplish? I think very often when we find ourselves debilitated by, you know, fear of failure, that you know, that critic, anxiety, you know, whatever. It can be a relief to say, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. I am loading so much junk onto this onto what's going on here, onto what's at stake. Let Let me just take a step back and remind myself, what am I in this for, right? What am I trying to accomplish? What, you know, what what is my endeavor here? What's my purpose?" And and oftentimes in my experience once when you do that, there's kind of a big sigh of relief. You say, "Oh, yeah. This really isn't all that big a deal. This isn't so bad." And the second one really is is is what's my best next step, right? Let's focus on today, this moment, right now. In truth, that's all there ever is, right? So, we spend a lot of time on uh doom and gloom, future foreboding, you know, awfulizing. And not enough time on this moment right now. What is my best next step? What can I do right now to make progress? And, you know, the truth of the matter is the world changes, you know, a million times a day. You're going to change a million times a day. Uh who knows what's going to happen on the journey from, you know, from A to Z. Just focus on getting from A to B. And get that done. And we'll worry about C to Z later. I love that notion of taking action and strength. And you in the book, you have an amazing quote about that that I want to read, um which is strength unexercised will atrophy. Inaction makes us weaker. So, flipping that and thinking about um something else you said in the book, which is there is no blindness with a capital B, only fire hydrants. Which I thought was so amazing. Like, how do you use those concepts of of encouraging yourself to be strong, to take action with that notion of and in fact define, what does it mean when you say there's no capital B blindness, only fire hydrants? So, I was diagnosed with my blinding disease when I was 13. Before I was aware of any symptoms. So, you know, those awful lies I spoke of earlier that, you know, that awful sort of a narrative I told myself about how it would be the, you know, the ruin of my life. Uh, you know, I spent three, four years really really feeling that. And that those were some some awful years. There it was easy to have this perspective or without even knowing it, I had this sort of perspective of, you know, blindness capital B, to your point. This amorphous force, this sort of uh, you can't describe it, it's this it's this foreboding, it's it's this awful future. It's this monster that's going to, you know, track me down and destroy my life. And that's not a very productive way to think about a challenge. Uh, that is not a uh, you know, a construct that's susceptible to much by way of of of progress, concrete progress. You you mentioned the fire hydrants. Uh, you know, I went to meet with an occupational therapist at one point when I still had a great deal of useful sight, but well before I had ever started using a cane. And I was prepared to talk about, you know, blindness capital B. I I assumed, you know, she's was the expert on, you know, low vision and going blind and we were going to be talking about, you know, tomorrow and the future and this awful uh, you know, fate. And you know, she dove in and said, "Well, do you use a cane?" And I said, "No." And she said, "Well, do you ever hurt yourself?" I said, "Of course I hurt myself, right? I walked into a fire hydrant a couple days ago and this and that." And you know, it wasn't until she had to literally spell it out for me, like, "Do you realize that if you did learn to use a cane, you wouldn't bump into things and hurt yourself?" That it just kind of clicked for me and I was like, "God, that's really all this boils down to." It's it's a million small details like that. Which aren't so bad and they're straightforward and they're certainly susceptible to some type of progress. But you know, you you can you can look at it as blindness capital B, this again amorphous force, or you can look at it as nothing more than this constellation of discrete practical challenges. And the fact is every single, you know, human being every human faces their own discrete constellation of of challenges, right? It's part of the human condition. There's nothing special or unique in in in facing these um uh these big challenges or obstacles, but how we handle them and and how we choose to look at them, that makes all the difference in the world. Talk to me about the difference between um effort and results. What's the difference? Which one matters? Oh, I I effort, absolutely. Effort matters a lot more than results. Results are the are the factor of a lot more things. Luck being a big one, timing, circumstance, uh who knows? Uh like we were saying earlier, you know, there are you know, there's there's stories of countless entrepreneurs who great vision, great drive, worked hard, you know, tried to make it happen and it it just it didn't work out. It's the nature of the beast. Well, do you do you say those people, you know, wasted their time? You say they're failures? No, they they worked hard. They they strove towards a worthy pursuit, right? They may maybe found fulfillment in who they are, expression of of their best self. Okay, it didn't work out. You know, that's such as life. And again, the opposite is true, too. There are uh a lot of terrible people in this world who seem to achieve what we what we loosely call success, right? Whatever that means. Uh financial success, popularity, celebrity, whatever you want to call it. Uh and you know, there are terrible people who without much by way of uh uh of effort or character, you know, arrive at these outcomes. So what? So one thing that you've had to go through that I think would be really hard for most people and not necessarily that exact thing, but um when you're losing something or if you're overweight or if you're living with your mom, like whatever your thing is where you feel unworthy. And you had said that you didn't think you would ever get married, you didn't think you would ever have kids because you weren't worthy of love, you didn't you didn't think you would ever love love and respect yourself, so how could somebody else love and respect you? So, how did you get over that? You know, really in that in that it's sort of in that moment of epiphany when I met with that occupational therapist Chris and I started to to think more about the cane and less about, you know, blindness capital B. I uh it was it was a liberating experience, it was an empowering experience. Started to talk about all sorts of practical solutions I could employ to make my life a little easier, a little better. And, you know, that's that's when it really, you know, hit me. Well, you know, first and foremost that that everything I thought I knew about going blind or being blind was was these awful lies. Uh it's when I was able to make that connection between this experience of sight we have, this virtual reality that we experience as as truth. And I said, "Well, wait a minute, isn't that kind of exactly what I did with my fears?" And there uh shortly thereafter kind of in in that realization, I guess, was was this idea that life is choice. And I said, "Sh- If you keep If you tell yourself you're going to live this small, unremarkable, pathetic life and you're, you know, not going to love or respect yourself and, you know, you're not going to find a mate and all you can make that happen for yourself. Or you can choose to have a different life." That is so powerful. And when people understand that you're going to become what you believe about yourself. You talked a lot about that in the book, the self-fulfilling prophecy. Absolutely. How is it that like what are you going to teach your kids about self-fulfilling prophecies? What should they be telling themselves? How should they be thinking? Like if somebody watching this wants to empower themselves, are there things that are like you could just plug and play? This belief, that thing you repeat, whatever. Sure. So, you know, you know, again throughout the book uh I talk about, you know, this idea in different in different sort of context or concepts. So, you know, struggling with uh insecurity, struggling with uh how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us, for example, you know, we talked a little bit about luck, we talked about fear and in different contexts or the specifics, um, vary. Uh, you know, that said, at the core really is a commitment to introspection, right? Introspection I think is a lost art. We can know everything that's going on with everybody that every single one of our, quote unquote, friends and secondary friends and tertiary friends through Facebook and LinkedIn and, you know, but I really have no idea what's going on with ourselves in our own minds and hearts. And that's crazy to me. That's absolutely crazy, but So, introspection I think is where it all begins. Uh, a commitment to talk to yourself, to figure out, uh, you know, where you're at, what you're thinking, what you're telling yourself, what decisions you're making and why. And the rest really flows from that. Let's talk about communication. Sure. So, what you've done with your company culture is pretty staggering. And you obviously have and I've been very aware of it in this interview as well, which total side note here for a second then I'll get to that question, too. Sure. Do you intentionally communicate with me with your eyes? Uh, well, yes, I guess is the short answer. Because you look me dead in my eye. And literally through this whole interview I have to keep going, "Fuck, he's blind. He's not seeing you nod." Like I and I find myself giving you those micro expressions that we would normally communicate with right because it is so convincing when you look me in the eye. I'm like, "Is this guy with me? Is he for real, Brian?" Like somebody test this guy. I've had I've had people insist that I could see and that I was pretending to be blind. It's compelling, man. is awesome cuz I'm like, "You are You got me." Let me tell you all the advantages to pretending to be blind. I just I mean, there's no end to how convenient my day is if I live as a blind man. This is great. No. Um, uh, so I grew up with sight and I grew up, you know, acting as well. And so, I'm expressive and I haven't lost that with my sight with the loss of my sight. So, you know, I do look at people. I know where you are because I hear where, you know, where your voice is coming from. It's amazing what you pick up from uh from your ears if you if you pay attention. My kids know that I know when they're looking at me and when they're not. Wow. So, I'll say, you know, one of my sons in particular, I love it when he's not looking at me when I'm talking to him. I'll say like, "Are you looking at me?" And then they'll look at me and go, "Yeah. Yeah, Dad, I'm looking at you." I'm like, "Okay. Were you looking at me?" "No, I wasn't." It's like they answer literally the question. But um so, I do probably get more information about what's going on with you than you would think. Yeah, it's it's really impressive, quite frankly, and it made me think about what you're doing in your company and how you'll have you'll be talking to them and have to remind them, "Hey, I can't see if you're nodding." And then that ended up becoming this incredibly advantageous thing because people had to really put words to how they felt. I really There were times when I I I stressed out a lot. I was I was anxious about the fact that, you know, I thought maybe my blindness was a burden on my team and a and a burden on my company cuz, you know, we get in these meetings and someone makes a point and, you know, and then silence. I don't hear a thing. I'm like, "Well, what do we think?" Silence again. So, then I got to be, "Well, guys, are you nodding? You know?" "Oh, yeah, sorry, we're nodding. You know, we forget that you can't see." He's like, "Haha, yeah, it's I still can't see." Uh That hasn't changed. But you know, and it was again, it was awkward, but I thought like again, eyes wide open, hold yourself accountable. Well, maybe it is awkward. Maybe you're insecure about it. Maybe you're projecting. Maybe you're Let's go through the steps here. Well, this There's a practical solution here. Is it pretty important that you communicate with your team and you understand what they're saying? Yeah, that's pretty important. Is it worth the effort to to communicate, you know, orally? Yeah, it's worth that effort. So, okay, I'll Next time this happens, uh you know, note to self, next time they're all nodding or whatever, I'm going to say, "Okay, you know what, guys? Let's go around the table. I'm going to ask each of you one at a time to say yes or no." And that was the aha moment because, you know, of course, first time I did it, you know, "You agree or disagree?" Everyone nods. "Well, folks, I can't see you. Let's go around the table." You assume if everybody nodded, everybody's going to say yes, right? Never happened once. You got a "Uh yeah." Well, that's not a yes. You know, uh well, let's talk about it. And you you wind up having an hour-long conversation that winds up being, you know, critical to the development of the team, the growth of the business, whatever, that you might have skipped entirely if you had just left it at a nod. So, ultimately, I came to learn that the the anxiety, the awkwardness, the tension was not uh born of my blindness, but was kind of a necessary byproduct of uh true, meaningful communication, particularly in the workplace context, right? Where everyone wants to uh succeed, be valued, uh you know, your your livelihood's at stake, and so it it's not a natural thing. Again, you know, sometimes we're our own worst enemy. Sometimes uh you know, true and meaningful communication is not is not the default, it's not the natural thing, but if you can inspire a team, encourage a team, show a team uh how to relate uh at that level, there there's nothing you can't do. And I know you say, and it was one of your principles, is that that's a lie, but you got to tell yourself that. Which I agree with. Yeah. You got your finger on that one. It's so powerful. You've said that fear rushes into the unknown. How do we get rid of the unknown if it isn't by filling it with fear? Uh well, information helps. Fear, again, is this evolutionary response. There are some some helpful reasons to freak out, like, for example, if it's a, you know, vicious animal that's about to eat you and you're a caveman or whatever. Uh even if you've never seen this thing before, it's probably a good idea to say, "I should get running." Um but so uh how do you overcome that? Well, step one again, introspection and awareness. Realize that, you know, you're one you're afraid and two, do a, you know, careful dissection. What do you know? What do you not know? And then the most critical bucket is, what do you think you know? Cuz that's where we get ourselves into a ton of trouble. The things we think we know that we really don't. So, it's a shame that fear often, you know, just at that moment when we face the greatest need to to take in new information, right? To to to thrive, to transcend, you know, that's really when fear will will beat a retreat deep inside our minds, but that's when, you know, again, it's it's your choice to uh succumb or to overcome. All right, before I ask my last question, where can these guys find you online? The easiest place to find me is just my website, lidsky.com, which is my last name, l i d s k y dot com. I've got a blog there, a podcast. You can find my book, my TED Talk, but the one thing that I ask folks is if any of this means anything to you, uh and or you learn more or read the book and and any of that means anything to you, please let me know what you think. Uh you can provide feedback directly on the website. I read every single submission and and that's why I do this. So, so please let me know what you think. It's incredible. All right, my last question is, what is the impact that you want to have on the world? Well, first and foremost, I guess the the impact that I have is I want to leave this world with four uh happy, uh thriving children. And I mean, I want that desperately. Uh beyond that, you know, I I feel that I was I've been blessed with this vision. I have born a blindness and and the more people I can share it with, and the more impact I can have in in their lives in helping them to, you know, choose who they want to be, uh that's a real gift, too. I love that. Isaac, thank you so much for coming on the show, man. That was incredible. And so, guys, I'm telling you right now, his book, Eyes Wide Open, you're going to want to read it. It is absolutely incredible. It really is a life philosophy about not letting the unknown be filled with fear, about really facing the truth and asking yourself, like he said, what is the most optimal decision that I can make, action that I can take right now in order to move myself forward. It is absolutely incredible the amount of vulnerability that he shows in the book, the way that his mind works, understanding that we live in this virtual reality, and that means that you have control. And my favorite, that everything is a choice. I hope you guys heard that. I hope you heard that you can choose even happiness, that there are steps. It is not easy, but it is a process that you can follow in order to actually embody that and experience that in your life. Read his book. It's literally an instruction manual on how to figure these things out. It's absolutely incredible. It really is an insanely powerful book. I cannot recommend it highly enough. All right, guys. If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe, and until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care. Hey everybody. Thank you so much for watching and being a part of this community. If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe. 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