Submind YouTube summaries
Thumbnail for How to Slow Down Your Life Before It's Gone

How to Slow Down Your Life Before It's Gone

Watch on YouTube

Video summary

The central premise of this discussion addresses why life feels like it accelerates with age, challenging the common perception that time itself is speeding up. The core argument posits that while physical time remains constant regardless of one's activities or location, subjective experience differs between present moments and recalled memories. When we say time flies, it does not mean fewer hours have passed; rather, our brains fail to encode detailed episodic memories for those periods. Consequently, when looking back on a year where little is remembered, the duration feels compressed because there are few mental markers to span across that gap in consciousness. This phenomenon of accelerated perception stems from how memory formation works: novelty and intensity act as triggers for the brain to record experiences. In childhood, almost every event represents new information—first visits to parks or schools—which forces the brain into a high-recording mode because it cannot predict future relevance. As adults settle into routines such as driving the same route daily or interacting with familiar people, the brain conserves energy by processing these actions automatically without deep cortical engagement. This lack of attention results in fewer stored memories, leading to what is termed "novelty saturation theory," where a life dominated by monotony causes days to become forgettable and time to seem to rush forward. To counteract this effect and slow down the subjective passage of time, one must actively introduce variety into daily life through novel experiences that demand attention. The speaker illustrates this with personal anecdotes from trips to Africa in 2018, where specific sensory details like a porter's worn leather shoes or an ornithology book remain vivid years later because they were unique and intense events. By saying "yes" to new activities—whether salsa dancing, visiting unfamiliar towns, or eating at fresh cafes—and saying "no" to passive consumption of the same content repeatedly, individuals create memory investments that future retrospection will draw dividends from. These deliberate disruptions to routine ensure that days are memorable rather than forgettable. However, a nuanced tension exists between the necessity of routine for predictable progress and the need for variation to expand one's life experience. The speaker acknowledges that while routines provide stability and efficiency, they inherently compress time by reducing memory encoding; therefore, balancing these two forces is crucial but difficult. A well-lived future should resemble a varied art gallery rather than a gray hallway filled with repetitive habits like endless Netflix binges or TikTok dances. Ultimately, the choice lies in whether one allows their life to be defined by internalized monotony or actively curates experiences that stand out in memory, ensuring that when looking back on life, it feels expansive and richly detailed rather than fleeting and empty.
Read the full video transcript
When I first started Modern Wisdom, I was obsessed with why life felt like it was going so quickly and how to slow it down. So, I decided to revisit the topic recently. Why does some days feel like years and some years feel like days? As we get older, life feels like it's moving faster and faster. We look back on a year and can't really remember where it went. Months start to pass like minutes, and we begin to feel so helpless against the passage of time that it almost seems as if we're an observer of our lives, not a participant anymore. The answer to slowing down time, is simpler than you think. The first thing to know is that no matter how boring the Zoom call, exciting the holiday, or old you are, time always passes at exactly the same rate for you. Shock, horror. I know you have the same number of hours in the day as you ever have and they are always moving at the same pace. Even if you are circling a black hole or moving near the speed of light, your experience of time remains the same. 1 second is 1 second always. So if this is the case, why do we feel like time changes speed? Well, there is a difference between present time and remembered time. Your experience of time differs in the moment versus when you recall it. Your present time will always remain at the same speed, but your remembered time can vary widely. So when we say that time is speeding up, we don't mean it actually passed more quickly, but that it seems to have passed more quickly when we recall it. It's not that week went so quickly, but I don't recall what I did during that week. Memory is our way of reliving our past experiences and reexperiencing time. We remember our time with respect to what we were doing, where it was, who we were with, and the emotions that we had. So, here's the first key insight. The more memories you have from a past experience, the more that that experience gets expanded in time. Think back to a holiday you went on 5 years ago, even though it was a long time ago. You will probably still be able to recall a lot of details, making it seem like it lasted for longer and that time moved more slowly for that week. So if time is memory and we want more time, then what we really want is more memories. But this still doesn't explain why our recollection of time speeds up with age until you consider why memories are made. Your brain is lazy. It wants to do as little work as possible and conserve as much energy as it can. This is why it likes routines, habits, and thought patterns because once it's done that thing a few times, it needs to think less and less about doing it again. The thing is, when you're young, almost everything is new information. This is the first time you've been to the park or school or swam in the big pool or kissed a girl or been on a boat. Your brain is constantly recording. Think about how much you can remember from the first day you moved to where you live now compared with any day from the last month. Or think about what happened on your first ever driving lesson. I'm guessing you can recall it quite a lot. Perhaps even the route that you took, the car that you drove. Yet, if you try to remember the experiences in your car from last Monday, you might not even know if you drove it at all. This is the most important lesson to know about slowing down time. Your subjective experience of time is based on your memories. And the best way to ensure that your brain remembers what you're doing is with two things: novelty and intensity. When something new or intense happens, your brain doesn't know what it needs to remember. So, it just holds on to all of it. It's never encountered this before. So, it doesn't know if it will need this information in future. Therefore, it starts recording what's happening. This is why holidays are such a good example to show how time and memories are linked because there's lots of new things and lots of intensity happening. I took a trip to Africa in 2018 and I can still remember the shape of the worn leather shoes that the hotel porter had on and the ornithology book that he was carrying and the sound of his feet on the steps down to the hotel room. This is the holiday paradox. Time flies while you're having fun, but feels long in retrospect. And as we age, our adult life gets into routines where we do the same actions day after day after day. We drive the same route to work. We speak to the same people. We even have the same thoughts. We allow ourselves to be dominated by monotonous routines, passively resistance, and habituated thought patterns. The TLDDR is that routines compress time. Habitual behaviors are processed with less cortical effort, meaning less attention and fewer stored episodic memories. Childhood is rich with firsts, which become rarer with age. This is novelty saturation theory. The idea that as we age, we experience fewer new things, so our brain stops encoding as many detailed memories, which makes time feel like it's passing faster. And this is the uncomfortable truth. As we get older, days move quickly because we can't remember them. And we don't remember our days because we haven't done anything memorable with them. Our days are forgettable. Therefore, we forget them. This is why I hate it when people say, "That's just the way I am and always will be." To me, that is someone who has internalized the monotony of their thought patterns so deeply that they literally identify with them. Monotony is the enemy of a well-remembered life. So, in order to slow time down, you have to give your brain a reason to pay attention. Leading a full life means having lots of varied experiences that will later be memorable. This means you need to start saying yes to more new things and no to more of the same things. Even if you've never wanted to try salsa dancing or yoga or an open mic comedy night, saying yes will guarantee that you create some novel and potentially intense memories. Sure, it might be easier to stay on the couch instead of going out, but you know that you won't recall a single thing if you spend yet another night watching Netflix. Whereas you will have tons of memories if you go and do something new which in retrospect makes time pass more slowly. Doing novel and intense things is entirely within your control. Allow yourself to be immersed in the things that you spend your time doing. Regularly plan new experiences. Talk to different people. Say yes to adventures whenever you can. Walk the dog on a different route. Visit a new town. Eat at a fresh cafe. These are all memory investments that future you will be able to draw dividends from. Each day you can ask yourself the question, what did I do today that will stand out in my memory? And the more that you can answer this question clearly, the slower your time will move. Eventually, you are going to be looking back on your life. The choice is between viewing a beautiful varied art gallery stretching as far as the eye can see or a gray monotonous hallway peppered with the ghosts of Tik Tok dances and Netflix series. If you make your life memorable, you will remember it. I think I got frustrated because I wanted to I wanted to make progress that was based around routine because I understood that it was very important for me. But I also had this realization so early on that felt in conflict with my desire to make progress. So I think another tension in a lot of the conversations today been about tension. Another tension is how do I lean into routine to capture the upsides of uh predictable progress whilst also blending that with the uh variation that's needed in order to give me memory dividends to expand my life to make time feel like it's moving more more slowly. Difficult one. It's a difficult thing to to balance but it is important. Before we continue, I've been drinking AG1 every day for years now because it's the simplest way that I found to cover my bases and not overthink nutrition. And that is why I've partnered with them. One scoop gives you 75 vitamins, minerals, probiotics, and whole food ingredients in a single drink. And now they've taken it even further with AG1 NextGen. The same one scoop once a day ritual, but this time backed by four clinical trials. In those trials, it was shown to fill common nutrient gaps, improve key nutrient levels in just three months and increase healthy gut bacteria by 10 times, even in people who already eat well. They've upgraded the formula with better probiotics, more bioavailable nutrients, and clinical validation. And it's still NSF certified for sport, meaning that even Olympic athletes can use it. Plus, if I ever actually found something better, I would switch. But I haven't, which is why I still use it every day. And if you're on the fence, they've got a 90-day money back guarantee. buy it and try it, and if you don't love it, they will give you your money back. Right now, you can get a free bottle of vitamin D3 K2 free AG1 travel packs, a welcome kit, and that 90-day money back guarantee by going to the link in the description below or heading to drink ag.com/modernwisdom. That's drinkagg.com/modernwisdom. Congratulations for making it to the end of a clip. Your brain has not been fried by Tik Tok. Uh, watch the full episode here.