How To Properly Use Dating Apps?

Hey, hey, you Tony Gaskins here. Now, popping in, y'all got to forgive me because I am relaxing and don't have no shirt on, so couldn't be on the camera and sorry for the TMI. But, just being real with you in the bed. And my wife is doing Tayden hair, washing, combing his hair. So, I got me a little bit of time to pop on here, but I was watching a Netflix show called The Dating App Killer. And I wanted you know, I tried to watch as much as I could, but the acting just was annoying my wife and I don't like to annoy her. She just really felt like the acting was really bad. And it was unfortunate that the man in there name was Anthony. My name is not Anthony, but they call people Anthony, Tony. So, I ain't like that. So, I felt personal attack. But, of course watching the dating app and the the dating app movie immediately I see first mistake. The man come in town. He say he ain't booked no room. And he ain't got nowhere to stay. And then she tell him he can stay with her. So, some of y'all have missed this and this is what y'all have to realize. Yes, I still am against dating apps in general, meaning just what's out there. The ones how they created. It's a smorgasbord. It's a buffet. It's you just doing a bunch of swiping and all of that right there. What you have to realize, a dating app is your last resort. What I created, the destinyapp.com, which the former name is Destiny, which is a date with destiny, but just for marketing purposes, I also bought the destinyapp.com so I could just easily say it. People can easily re- remember it. But what I created is completely different than normal dating apps cuz there's no swiping. You also, if you hit accept or interested on somebody, right on the page, it it has a little text that says, "Tapped by accident? Undo." And you click that and you can unaccept. And you sitting there and you only talking if it's mutual interest. But what you have to realize on a dating app, for one, you can use a fake name. Still need to be a real name. Two, you never want to put your actual job. So you don't want to put So let's say you work for Excel Solutions. Then you need to put that you work for Camp Kit Solutions. I'm just reading a little book in here, name Kit Camp in my in my in my room where my wife got So I just changed. So you put a different company now. You can, if you want to If you work in IT or HR, you can keep the same job title or you can choose because what you do for work, it does matter with the person you working with. If your name is Jane, it does not matter if your name is Jane or Susan. And if And if it matters that much, then it's the wrong match anyways. The other thing you got to realize is the company you work for does not matter. The type of job you do matters. So, you don't want to put stripper if you work in HR. You don't want to put lawyer or doctor if you do customer service or HR or public relations. So, you could put public relations. Just don't put who you actually work for. Now, the other thing you have to realize is with dating apps, which Dacing is a matchmaking app because you're not you're not scrolling. And if you notice, we came out with and launched, and then Bumble now is coming after us, and they changing their situation to where they trying to end the swiping. And then so, they ending the swiping. So, they following our lead. And this what I tried to tell y'all. When somebody come into the space who know what they doing, and you make something different, then they going to follow you. And so, they following us. Now, they had ended the was kind of thinking about going that way. The other thing I've been telling y'all forever is that a woman should never make a move first. Bumble was built on that principle that the woman make the move first. And they said it was for safety, but when you know relationships and you understand relationships, a woman making a move first takes and upends the natural order of things. So, a woman should be reciprocal, not initiating. And you only reciprocate when you agree. So, what you have to realize when you go on a dating app, the man, if you're a woman, the man should message you first. If it's that type of dating app, you should never message a man first, ever, as a woman. If you're a man, you should be messaging the woman first. You're making the move. The next thing you want to do on these apps, cuz even with Destiny, you're still going to have glitches, you're still going to have flaws, you're still going to have nutcases. You cannot keep that from out there. The benefit about it is we have a digital footprint. So, on a dating app, a person has a digital footprint. They have a IP address, or they have a picture that can be scanned on Google, that can be looked up, they can be traced. Whereas, if you just meet somebody at the coffee shop, you have no footprint on them. So, you could get robbed, kidnapped, killed, what have you, and there's no footprint. So, it's actually a little more dangerous. What's up, buddy? Need some? What you doing? Huh? Oh, your hair is looking good. Your mama say your hair Been Been 2 weeks? What's your hair? I'm filming no video, cuz I ain't got no shirt on. And that that's really cool little thing she did. Um, are you going to wash it tonight? Good job. Okay. How your body feeling? >> Good. >> Man, your dad is so old. I took and walked 11,000 steps today and my back hurt. I need to go get me a stretch or something. >> It's like it's like that. It was like about 2 miles. >> That what your mom say, 2 miles? I think 5 miles. For me. But yeah, it's um Yeah, I think about 5 miles. It hurt though. And I was walking with her and she walked fast. So that hurt me. That hurt me. The water How the water been? It get hot over there on your side? Okay. Making Making sure. Love you, too. Your mom told me you probably got canceled tomorrow. >> What did they >> Yeah. I'm flying out to do an interview tomorrow and then flying back Tuesday. >> Okay. >> And I And I might pop out to some practices. I don't want to be, you know, out there too much all the time. Make you nervous or nothing, but just go out there and talk to Avante dad sometime. See what y'all be doing. All right, love you. Y'all forgive me now. Family first. My son came in here. So I couldn't shoo him out. So I seen him looking. He was about to close the door and leave. So I told him come on in. So family first now. That what y'all got to realize. So if you new here, touch your toes, scratch your booty. Don't get mad. Scratch your booty and get glad. And so you want to make sure that when you meet somebody on a dating app, you keep it on that app. You keep it on that app. So you're going to have people out there. And this what you got to realize about the internet. Somebody could take your picture and search your picture in Google Images. That's the world we live in today. This world is created and that's what the Bible say, weaker and wiser. I don't even know if it really say that, but my parents always said that, so I just be quoting that, but I ain't I don't know the scripture myself. So, forgive me if I'm lying cuz I said, "Mother The Bible say, mother may have, father may have, but blessed is the child that have their own." And everybody like, "Tony, what scripture is that? What scripture is that? Tony, that's a Aretha Franklin song or Patti LaBelle song." I say, "What? My mom and daddy been saying that my whole life. I thought that was a Bible scripture." And so, this what you have to realize. We getting weaker and wiser. So, now, all of our women write me and say, "Tony, you know, I got your phone number offline, got your address offline." And I don't I don't get caught up in this stuff personally because I live in a gated neighborhood. It's three different gates here. Somebody could sit outside of one. They don't know which one I'm going out of, but I'm just I just don't live in fear and I keep that thing on me majority of the time. So, if somebody try me, I'm putting one through the head. So, I'm just giving you a heads-up. I'm not the one to play with cuz I will send you to meet the Lord and I will not blink twice. So, understand that and I don't I'm not saying that to sound tough or none of that. That's not that ain't how I get down. I'm telling you the 1,000% truth. So, try me if you want to. And so, listen. But, if you not like that, you ain't got you no peace, you not going to pull no trigger, you got to be careful. So, I would use my middle name as my name on the dating app. I use my middle name. And I will have your age so that it match you correctly, but you could have it to where your age is not visible. The company you work for is not visible. The job that you work, if you are a woman, your job does not matter. Need y'all to understand that. If your job matters to a man, he is not a man. Because a man's job is to provide. He should not be counting your pockets. What a man should be judging a woman off of, and this to every man out there, if you are worried about what kind of job she has and how much money she makes, you are worried about the wrong thing and you're listening to the wrong people. Yes, if she works, great. If she make money, great. If she bringing money to the household, great. But your goal needs to be set to become a provider. You need to be able to set a goal to say, I want to earn enough money to be able to take care of my wife and her not have to work. So her job should not matter. So even on dating apps, don't You can answer the question, but it's a toggle that let you decide what shows publicly and what doesn't. So another thing on dating apps, read everything. Read everything. Pay close attention. Make sure that you doing what you supposed to do and that you paying attention to what you doing on there. Don't just be on there willy-nilly. And so, like people write in and they like, "Hey, I accepted a match. How can I unaccept the match?" And right there on the page it says, "Tapped by accident, undo it here." And when you click that, it'll undo the acceptance. But, that comes from people being in a rush, not paying attention, not reading. So, listen. Some people say, "Well, Tony, you're telling us to start off on the wrong foot. We lying. Why must use my middle name?" Nobody cares. Those things are inconsequential. If somebody cares that you use your middle name, like for example, my middle name is Allen. What does it matter to you whether my name is Tony or Allen? What should matter to you is my character. Now, only weird time it'll happen is if like you have the same name as their ex. And so, they pass on you because you got the same name as your ex. So, that's why I would say still use your real name, like use your middle name instead of your first name if you worried about somebody searching you and trying to find you online. And that stuff does happen. It does happen. And it happens on every app. You're going to meet psychos. You're going to meet nutcases. It can't fully be avoided because you're going online. You're You're in a world, not even online. You in the world. Just like you can't avoid meeting Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer at Starbucks, you can't avoid meeting them online, either. So, you have to be ready and prepared to meet them. And you got to have certain things in place so that you can try to deter them. So, listen to me. Let me tell y'all forgive me. I'm tired now. Oh, that walk was long. Ooh, we. That walk hurt me. So, listen. I'm walking with my wife and she walks so fast. I'm like, yeah, she pulled my hip out of place trying to walk up keep up with her. And so, listen to me now. If you meet somebody online and y'all in the chat talking, keep them in the chat for 10 days minimum. If you don't feel comfortable, if they're not being expressive enough, if they're not talking enough, if they're not showing you and giving you what you need, then just go ahead and let them know that, you know, you don't feel like y'all are a fit. Guess what? You never seen them in person. They don't know your full name. They don't know where you work at. So, you're able to just say, "Hey, I don't feel like this is a good fit. I wish you the best." And then close the chat. Point-blank period. So, now the chat is closed. Now you move on. So, now you taking you move on and you're able to get out there and meet somebody else. Now guess what? I have been in talks with a a couple who's doing a singles event. And the young lady is a coach. And Destiny is thinking about coming in at a sponsorship level. The young lady is a coach. And she says she tells all her clients to try online dating. She's a black woman. Her husband is a white man. And they met on a dating app. And now they in ministry together with doing Christian singles ministry. So, it was very interesting to meet her and her say she's an an advocate for online dating. And she tells her clients to get online dating. And I remember meeting a young lady who was very successful in business, you know, owns a franchise restaurant franchise. And then her child's father is an attorney. They met on a dating app. Because her black female coach told her to get on a dating app. So, ambitious women who a lot of times ambition kind of curves fear. So, those ambitious boss women it takes some tenac- tenacity tenaciousness to build in business, to start your own business, to build a personal brand, to get out there and build. So, a lot of times they fear less. Whereas people who are women who are stuck on a job, a 9:00 to 5:00, and it's outside of their purpose, and they get up and they go to work and they come home, and they can't really see beyond that job, they are more fearful. And they're a lot lot more cautious, but it's really fearful. They fear meeting a serial killer. And the odds of that is very very very very very very low. You you'll be more likely to get in a car crash or airplane crash than to meet a serial killer, but people are very afraid. And with Datesney, you know, we have the policies and all of that online, but we don't have the time to coach and assure every single person who getting ready to sign up or want to sign up cuz you got to realize these apps end up with millions of people. If we had to talk to every single person uh why our app is the app, we wouldn't be able to operate no business. So, it's like all the information is there. Sign up if you want to, don't if you don't want to, don't if you If the copy on the site doesn't build trust, doesn't make you feel comfortable, then don't sign up. If that's where you are in your mental, in your spiritual, in your emotional, to where you overly overly scared, cautious, fearful, worried, wondering, do not do it. It's not for you. It's not worth it. Don't force it. A dating app, which Datesney Datesney is technically a dating app, I call it a matchmaking app cuz you're not swiping and all that. A dating app is a last resort. It should not be your first resort. A dating app is for people who you don't get approached in person, you're in a small town or you're in a big busy fast town, you're not really meeting people, you don't have the time to get in a group and to be outside of house and to be in three four different interest groups, that's when a dating app is for you. Or you you passed the age of, you know, 30, 40, 50, and you ready to meet somebody, you ready to settle down, that's when a dating app is for you. And the older, then the more wisdom you need to have and go get before you get online. And so, you protect yourself with the amount of information that you share. Then, you also protect yourself by taking your time. You talk in the chat as long as you need to. Then, after you talk in the chat, you get on the phone. Then, you talk on the phone every day for as long as you need to. You want to talk on the phone for a minimum of 10 hours. So, you doing that. Then, after you talking on the phone, you want to go to FaceTime. Now, if you start at FaceTime, okay, cool. Now, you just get to stretch it, but you want to go to FaceTime, do you another 10 hours. Then, after that, if you want to meet up and you feel comfortable meeting up, you meet up in downtown or midtown, crosstown, southtown, Koreatown, Chinatown, Africatown, you meet in town. So, you all pick a restaurant, and you say, "Okay, this cool. What time? Let's meet up." Then, you go to that place. You don't get picked up, you don't get dropped off. For a minimum of your first five dates, you want to meet there. Meet there. No no houses. No hotel rooms. Meet out somewhere and spend two to four hours. You don't want to spend more than four hours because you don't want to put yourself at risk for being love bombed. The same thing with the phone. You want to give a hour a day. Give a hour a day. Yes, you're going to make exceptions sometimes, two hours, three hours, four hours, but you need to cap it at four hours. You don't want to build a codependent relationship. You don't want to be codependent and you don't want to be love bombed. So, be careful. And then, here's the other thing when you meet somebody on a dating app. What you have to realize is a lot of times, people on dating apps are socially awkward, including yourself. So, when someone is socially awkward, you have to pay close attention to them, just like they're going to be paying close attention to you. So, if you get with somebody and they show you a glaring red flag. The thing about meeting someone online is you have to be less forgiving. You have to be more cutthroat. Because it's a certain makeup of a man, especially, other than the man that's just getting on dates and he out of trust with me and just at my behest. They're like, "Okay, Tony created this. I know him. I follow him online. So, let me hop on." That's different. Other than that, the men who just get on there, who love it, just enjoy it, Just be on there just chatty Cathy. Then you have to be careful. You got to keep your eyes open. And you have to be more cutthroat. So, if he shows you that he's crazy, and here's the thing that I need you to understand is people will show you their crazy early. So, it might be within 3 months they will show you their crazy. And the reason why they showing you their crazy, whether it's towards you or towards someone else, the reason why they are showing you their crazy is to get your approval and your reinforcement of their crazy. And if you can get that, if you can do that, they show you that they crazy because they're letting you know they are going to beat on you. They are going to cheat on you. They are going to be a walking nightmare. And they want to see See, this is the thing that a lot of people don't realize. Crazy people actually give you a fair warning by showing you their crazy. But sometimes they will have love bombed you with gifts or so much time on the phone or in person that you take your common sense and you throw it out the window. And you allow them to act a donkey and you reinforce it and you stay with them. And it's because y'all have talked for 90 minutes. I mean 90 hours. Y'all have talked so long and talk so much that you sitting there like, "Oh, yeah, you know, blah blah blah, we got this right here, this right here in common." And you excited. You so excited that when they act crazy, you like, "Oh, man, he just passionate." "Oh, man, I just upset him." "Oh, man, he just like me so much that it upset him so bad that he went off because he that crazy about me. He that into me, so that's why he yelling at me, cussing at me. And so that's what you have to realize and understand. That's what you got to realize. So, want you to realize that, get that through your mind. Get that through your mind. Realize and understand that. And be careful on Dataclysm and on every other app, be careful. Take your time. Don't be too scared. And if that's the season that you're in, and here's the thing, get on If you going to do dating app, and the reason why I created one is because I was preaching against them, but that wasn't stopping nothing. The all the apps got millions of people on it. So I'm like I might as well get into the space with something that's created to keep you safer. And still can't do that 100% cuz somebody who is bent on being crazy is going to be crazy. It don't matter what we do. So our own boarding process is so long intentionally to weed out the jokers. But even then some of them still going to go through that process, male and female. Cuz you got to think about it is too now. It's going to be some women on there that got a big booty and a smile that want to get them old sucker who going to be sending them money every month in exchange for some nudes and a little some sweet nothings on that on that FaceTime. So that what you got to realize too now. So it's going to go both ways. You also going to get on there and you going to have people who are into the same sex stuff. You also going to have transvestites, people transitioning. So you going to bump in all kind of stuff. It's the wild wild west. You passing right by the same thing in person. It just you not speaking or they not speaking. Whereas online y'all being you know, delivered up to each other, shown to each other. So it's a whole lot easier to just hit a button on the right a message cuz you ain't got to open your mouth. You ain't got to have no swag. You ain't got to show none of that. And so it's a lot easier. So understand that. Get that through your spirit. Stay tuned. If they not for you, definitely get off all the other ones. Get on the Destiny app for obvious reasons. And although it's not 1000% foolproof, it's still going to give you your best options. Especially to the single men, need more men on there. So, ladies, you got to be patient. That's why I made it the whole year is only $99. But, being that right now we're aware about you got to log in every day to see if you have a match because we don't have push notifications yet. So, you got to log in for 5 minutes to see if you have any matches, potential matches so that you can hit interested or pass. So, if you're not logging in, you won't you could have you could have already have missed your your match because you ain't logging in every day. So, log in, don't have your hopes up cuz it take time cuz we're still building it adding people to it. Although we done crossed into the thousands, it still take time and trying to level out the numbers and get equal amount of men and women is very, very hard to do because I'm marketing to my audience and my audience is more women than men. So, we're building it up one day at a time. To all the fellows, make sure you hop on on there. But, hey, keep your head up. God bless you. Stay tuned. August 21st, I'm opening up something special, something amazing. So, stay tuned and be ready November 28th, months from now, but we got the the Purpose Art Seminar. So, if you can make it, grab your ticket, come on out. I guarantee you you you will not regret it. We're going deep. You're going to feel a sense of purpose. You're going to feel a sense of success and winning and direction. So, come on out. God bless you. All the other important links in the description and we'll talk soon.