Video summary
The core challenge addressed in this discussion is bridging the gap between mental intention and tangible action, a state often described as moving beyond "mental masturbation" to real-world impact. The primary solution proposed involves mastering two fundamental concepts: understanding the input-output equation and identifying one's available fuel. To initiate any goal, such as creating content or starting a business, an individual must define the most basic first actions required—whether that is posting something, making a cold call, lifting weights at the gym, or spending money on ads. Without clearly defining these specific inputs to achieve desired outputs, progress cannot begin because there is no clear path forward. A common obstacle preventing action is the search for elusive passion or motivation, which many mistakenly believe they lack when they fail to act. The speaker argues that people often look for a "big carrot" like grand visions or intense feelings of inspiration before starting, but these are rarely present at the beginning. Instead, the first rule of entrepreneurship learned here is to use whatever fuel one currently possesses, such as pain, anger, shame, or hatred toward their current existence. For instance, the speaker's initial drive was a deep aversion to being a "wantrepreneur" and living out his father's dreams rather than his own. This negative emotion served as effective gas for an engine that eventually allowed him to cross the threshold into action. The mechanism of pain is highlighted as a far more powerful motivator than pleasure, illustrated by the analogy of pointing a gun at someone's head which guarantees compliance through fear of death. The speaker advocates for "future casting" negative scenarios rather than positive visualization; asking oneself what life will look like if current behaviors continue unchanged for ten years magnifies existing pain and raises the action threshold enough to take that first step. This approach helps individuals overcome internal resistance, whether it is a literal person talking them off the ledge or an authoritarian voice in their head derived from past relationships with parents who may have tried to suppress entrepreneurial ambitions. Resolving deep-seated issues like parental disapproval requires recognizing when one is still playing another person's game rather than defining and playing one's own. The speaker recounts his journey of trying to make more money than his father, only to realize that seeking approval from a parent who valued wealth above all else meant he was perpetuating their values instead of pursuing his own truth. A pivotal moment occurred when his father offered an olive branch via phone call after the son had achieved significant financial success; rather than accepting it as validation or thanking him publicly for support, the speaker refused to play by those rules and bluntly stated that his parents were not there believing in him. This rejection of external validation marked a shift from trying to beat his father at money-making games to defining the new rules and meaning of what mattered most to him personally. Ultimately, the path to real progress involves accepting one's current reality without waiting for perfect conditions or idealized emotions like passion. By utilizing available negative fuel such as shame or anger regarding past failures or familial expectations, individuals can generate enough momentum to execute their first input action. Once that initial step is taken—whether it is sending a DM, running an ad, or quitting a job—the individual enters the game and begins moving perpetually under their own motion rather than relying on toxic fuel indefinitely. The conclusion emphasizes that while past trauma like bullying or authoritarian parenting can provide temporary energy through alchemy into something useful, there comes a point where one must define their own rules to move forward authentically without being driven solely by a chip on the shoulder toward others.
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that person that goes I I love when I
hear these aphorisms and and things and
maybe it goes on the Whiteboard that's
on the front of my fridge for a couple
of months how does that person get from
mental masturbation yeah around it to
action that this this impacts my life in
a tangible way that actually makes a
difference to me any of the things that
we go through today all right two things
one is knowing the input output equation
the second is knowing what your fuel's
going to be so if you can't define the
inputs and outputs that are going to get
you what you want then there's no way to
start right because you don't know what
you're supposed to do so you have to
Define it down to like the most basic
first action it's like if I want to
start creating content then it means I
have to post something if it means I
have to start doing cold I always think
in terms of business because that's what
I'm in but like I'm either doing a cold
reach out I'm doing a cold call cold
email cold DM whatever that is I have to
make a piece of content I have to post
it I have to make a podcast I have to
make a YouTube video I have to make a
short whatever that is make a blog post
um I have to run an ad right I have to I
have to run the ad I have to press I
have to spend the money whatever it is
like whatever that core initial action
go to the gym lift the weight put the
shoes on get in the whatever the input
is you have to Define what the input is
that's going to get you the output you
want now once you know what that input
output is the next one is why aren't you
doing it right and so I think a lot of
people are looking for
something that is very hard to find and
so and then they attribute their lack of
success or lack of action because they
don't have passion or motivation
right and I was the same way and so the
short story around this was that I uh I
I watched all the TED talks in college
like that was like what I I was like I'm
not watching YouTube I'm watching TED
talks and I was like and then I real and
then I heard the term mental
masturbation and I was like oh that's
definitely what I'm
doing I was like my life hasn't changed
at all and then I got my job so out of
college and I would read all the self up
books I read like every night it's all I
did I just read all these self up books
and I found one of them that said there
are people who are wantrepreneurs and
entrepreneurs and I remember hearing
that word wantrepreneur and I was like
it made me feel S I was like I don't
want to be [ __ ] water I was like I'm
not some [ __ ] like but like but but I
was like but what if they're
right I am a entrepreneur I'm not an
entrepreneur I want to be one and I'm
not and from that point it took me six
months to quit my job to actually decide
to do the entrepreneurial thing and the
thing there are many things that
contributed to me being able to leave
and I think a lot of it's not like
people looking for one thing it might be
a big bag of wise a lot of them right
that add up together to be above your
action thres
and I think in the early days people
were looking for the big carrot they
want the big Vision they want the big
passion but they don't have it but I
want to I'll give you the first rule of
Entrepreneurship that I have learned
which is use what you have and a lot
more people have pain a lot more people
have anger a lot more people have shame
and if you can use that as your gas in
the beginning you'll eventually get to a
point where you can get out of that Loop
and then find something that you are
really passionate about but if you can't
tie your shoes you can't lift the weight
can't send the DM then you have to start
with whatever you have and so for me it
was hatred of my current existence I
hated being a wantrepreneur I hated
being a wannabe I hated being one of
those people who like talked about all
the things they were going to do and
didn't do anything
um I hated living the life that my dad
wanted me to live I was I was his [ __ ]
that's what it was I was his [ __ ] I was
living his dreams out not mine and that
was you know led to that other tweet
which was um sometimes your parents
dreams have to die in order for yours to
live
and for me I realized that the idea that
my father had of me as his son that
image had to die in order for the image
of myself that I wanted to be to live
because I kept trying to quit my job and
go be an entrepreneur and every time I'd
have the conversation be like ah come
over we'll talk about it we'll have
dinner you know and he'd always talk me
off the ledge it was always over and
over again good salesman yeah and or
great authoritarian
um you don't need to persuade when you
have compliance um so uh and so
everybody has that person or or it might
actually be somebody who's talking you
off the ledge um or might should be a
voice in your head it doesn't really
matter cuz that voice in person that
only happened once or twice probably
keeps talking to you when you're at home
um but the big thing for me when I when
I decided to make the jump and mind you
I was such a [ __ ] about it that I I had
to drive across the country before I
called him to tell him that I had left
yeah I remember didn't want to yeah I
didn't want to confront him um which he
then like flew off the hand all about um
but I just knew and this is the Tony
Robbins quote but it's just the when the
pain of staying the same is greater than
the pain of change and I think that I
think pain moves people far far more
effectively than pleasure does like the
easy thing to way to prove it is like
point a gun at someone's head and you
have absolute compliance and they will
do what they need to do right
automatically just like that like death
is the great motivator and the gun just
reminds you and so I think that if you
can create the figurative gun to your
head
of the pain that you're experiencing and
then I'm a I'm a big fan of future
casting out negative scenarios so people
talk about like positive visualization I
prefer negative visualization which is
what if I keep doing what I'm currently
doing for the next 10 years what my life
look like then that usually takes my
current pain and then just magnifies it
and then that allows me to get my action
threshold high enough that it goes over
the edge so that I can take that first
move and so if you know what the inputs
outputs are of what you need to do the
guy who has the little quote on his wall
and you figure out whatever fuel you've
got not the one you wish you had but the
one you've got and you use that to do
the first input you've crossed the line
you're in the game I told a story on the
episode that I did with Goggins about uh
bullying in school and this was
something where I like opened up about a
topic that haven't spoken about a ton
because it made me feel weak and it made
me feel vulnerable and so on and so
forth
but one of the things that's only really
recently happened and it's actually been
assisted by the guy that reached out and
messaged me this dude messaged and said
that he was sorry for what had happened
his daughter was going to school and it
reflect made him reflect on his time um
at school and how he treated me and he
was like dude I just wanted to say that
I'm sorry I don't even know if you're
going to see this I'm happy that you
seem to be happy but you know I just had
to get it off my chest and that really
helped not that I was carrying much but
one of the questions you know you've
spoken about your dad and this kind of
like authoritarian relationship and and
living out that dream how did
you avoid or how have you got yourself
to a stage now where you're no long
longer driven by a chip on your shoulder
toward him because I think that there
are a lot of people that go through
challenges in their past yeah that you
find fuel in it and they go wow I I can
be fueled by hatred phenomenal I can
alchemize this toxic thing into
something which is useful totally but I
would imagine that that has a a shelf
span right that if you keep on using
that for long enough there are more
optimal ways that you could start to
move perpetually under your own motion
transmuted into something else how did
you get past having this chip on your
shoulder about the relationship that
you'd had with your dad and where it had
set you back or forward or whatever um
or have you yeah I think I have um I
think my realization was you know first
the goal was make as much as my dad then
it was make more than my dad then it was
make more than my dad had ever made and
I realized that the approval that I had
that I saw it was always going to be
moved right um I mean I've told this
story before but um maybe not to your
audience but like when I when I my dad
and I didn't really speak a ton you know
we text in you know two-minute phone
call hey you're alive okay cool um but
for that was kind of like for like
fiveish years um after I left home uh to
go do the gym thing and only one gym
launch was like printing money um and so
we were I think I was taking home a
million and a half a month at like 27 or
something like that and he gave me a
call out of the blue and like my dad
doesn't like cold call
me um and so I'm I'm sitting at dinner
and I I step outside and he says um hey
you're going to want to sit down for
this and I was like okay he's like I'm
sorry I was like about what he was like
everything and I remember in the moment
actually feeling
nothing and thinking that was curious
and then being like huh
okay and I probably have just like
accepted it for the Olive Branch that he
was probably trying to like lean out to
me um but here's what I said instead I
said you know how people get up on stage
when they win the awards and they're
like I just want to thank my mom and dad
for always being there always believing
in me I was like I'm not going to say
that I was like cuz you weren't and you
didn't believe in
me
and right after that he was like well
we'll see how long it lasts and so
it was after that phone call that I
realized that everything that i' done to
that point was to try and beat him at
his game because everything my dad cared
about and not everything he's a good guy
like you we're fine now but like when I
was growing up and it's fairly common in
most foreign families to be very like
money-driven and I always knew that kind
of subconsciously and he would never say
this but like I felt it because whenever
he introduce somebody he'd tell me how
much they made immediately he'd be like
this is John John makes this like this
is Bob he makes this like it was just it
was just like the worth and the name was
like immediately tied together and so I
realized that I was trying to win his
game rather than playing my game and I
think when that happened it was the same
instance of kind of like the blame
finger but just at a different level of
saying like Okay well I don't blame my
dad anymore but I'm still playing his
game and so I'm winning not my game I'm
winning someone else's and so I think
when I was like okay well then I have to
define the game and the meaning of the
game that I want to play I have more
responsibility now because I have to
define the rules of what matters most to
me Etc um but that was where I feel like
I got and maybe there's more that I'll
unpack later but that was kind of the
next level at least for my awareness of
how I perceived what I was going after
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