Video summary
Alex Hormozi opens his discussion with a profound observation about social dynamics, often illustrated by the metaphor of a seesaw: when individuals are rising in their endeavors, society tends to root for them because they embody shared dreams and aspirations; however, once those same individuals reach the top, public sentiment shifts dramatically as people tear them down. This reversal occurs not out of malice but because successful achievers remind others who have given up on their own potential that failure is a choice. Hormozi notes that this phenomenon creates a unique category of challenge where sympathy is virtually non-existent for those climbing the ladder, as almost everyone else is still in ascent mode and views the climber's success with envy rather than support. He cites Lewis Capaldi, who despite becoming a global superstar while remaining fundamentally the same person he was years prior, found that fame changed everyone around him but not himself, reinforcing the idea that hatred or criticism from others often indicates one has successfully moved beyond their peers' comfort zones and expectations. Hormozi draws heavily on his personal experience as a gym owner to illustrate this shift in perception. When he was sleeping on the floor of his own business with no shower facilities, clients viewed him as an underdog deserving of support; yet within nine months of hiring staff and achieving stability, those same people began treating him differently, signaling that they wanted him to succeed but not better than themselves. He realized early in life that hatred is actually a requisite for success rather than something to be avoided, serving as a leading indicator that one is on the right path. This realization allowed him to reframe naysayers and bullies from middle school days; instead of internalizing their negativity, he came to understand it as a projection of others' own unfulfilled dreams onto his achievements. Consequently, feeling pushed back by friends or facing distaste for personal growth efforts is not a sign of failure but proof that one has ascended above the "mountain" where previous peers reside and are now struggling with their own limitations. The core argument presented is that every worthwhile goal inherently carries an associated cost in terms of discomfort, isolation, and effort; if something were immediately available to everyone without struggle, it would lack value. Hormozi emphasizes that we cannot resent the price tag required for meaningful change any more than one can complain about expensive shoes, as paying that price validates the worthiness of the objective. He connects this concept to the psychological state of ignorance being bliss; once an individual begins pursuing knowledge or self-improvement—whether through reading books, following courses, or consuming content like his podcast—the gap between their current reality and their potential becomes starkly visible. This awareness creates discomfort because it removes excuses based on ignorance, forcing individuals to take responsibility for their actions and the quality of their daily existence. Ultimately, Hormozi concludes that the lonely chapter of life, where one does not fit in with old friends yet lacks the status to join new groups, is a necessary phase for anyone who has achieved something significant. He uses an analogy from *The Matrix*, comparing this moment of isolation and doubt to Neo being offered the red pill; just as Trinity warns that going back leads only to death or stagnation, Hormozi urges listeners not to bend their knees to conformity simply because it feels warm and safe. The discomfort felt during personal transformation is evidence that one has started living in a higher dimension of existence where they can do more than before. By reframing the hate and isolation received as proof of progress rather than rejection, individuals can maintain focus on their goals without succumbing to the temptation to retreat into comfortable mediocrity, ensuring that their journey remains aligned with true success despite external pressures.
Read the full video transcript
so this is famous seesaw when you're on
your way up everyone roots for you
because you remind them of their dreams
when you're at the top everyone tears
you down because you remind them that
they gave up on them
and you have one which is for anyone who
needs a reminder no one is going to hate
on you for doing worse than them
and this is interesting because
kind of like the challenges you face
in the beginning
you don't have anything to say no to
therefore the woman in the red dress is
easy to say no to or there are fewer
women yeah
this is a challenge that nobody is going
to give you any sympathy for yeah it's a
very unique category of challenge
because the total addressable Market the
sympathy is basically zero
because almost everybody is on their way
up and very few people are at the top
and the people that are at the top are
seen as having a degree of privilege
that almost legitimates you twisting the
knife are you poking the finger this is
how public figures can have normal
everyday people on Twitter say
unspeakable like heinous things to them
dehumanizing things because they do not
see them as human right they don't see
them as a person there isn't a person on
the other side of this there is it's
they're a representation there are a
menagerie of of ideas therefore I can
say whatever I want to them because
they're not they're not really a person
but they are and the fact that
before there is any status associated
with tearing you down
no one is incentivized to tear you down
and you haven't changed [ __ ] did the
Lewis Capaldi documentary I've watched
this twice now no Lewis Capaldi is the
singer Scottish singer amazing dude
really fascinating story suffering a lot
with mental health
make this first album and billions
billions of streams World Tour
phenomenal and he's playing songs that
he wrote in 2017 and played in working
men's pubs around Scotland the same
songs go to number one so not just that
he's become better he's the same guy
yeah the same guy and maybe his
Productions improved maybe his recording
quality has improved he's got better
mastering in his voices voice coaching's
got a bit better but he's largely the
same person
he hasn't changed and he has this quote
halfway through and it really spoke to
me and he said
Fame doesn't change you it just changes
everybody around you yeah
and that's
when you're on your way up everyone
roots for you because you remind them of
their dreams when you're at the top
everyone tears you down because you
remind them that they gave up on them
that really yeah that spoke to me I
wrote an essay on this because I'm a
psychopath yeah when I was a gym owner
so a lot of people don't know this but I
got a writing scholarship in college
like I was a vice president of the
newspaper I was uh editor of the
creative writing magazine so like I've
been writing for a long time I enjoy
writing
um and I wrote this essay I said I think
the title of it was
um everyone believes in the American
dream until it comes true
and I remember because what had happened
was everybody when I when I was sleeping
on the gym floor right like you know I
was the I was the underdog and everyone
you know my clients were all like oh
good for you you know you're going after
your dream they'd see my blanket and my
pillow in the corner of the gym and they
knew I was sleeping there and it was
evident you know I I lived there
um I didn't have a shower I didn't have
a shower to go to the YMCA to go shower
um and that everybody was like Pro me
and then people come in they sign up
like I'm gonna I'm gonna support you
right and then within nine months I had
hired people and I had a manager and I
pulled up and I remember I walked in the
lobby and all the same the same people
were like ah boss man's here oh you're
not too good for us now right
and I remember being so Jarred by the
experience and I was like
you guys rooted for me and I was like
and now I I did what you said you were
rooting for me to do and that was when I
realized that people want you to do well
but not better than them
and
I was like I had gone from Underdog to
the man
and I was like when does that happen and
the litmus test of when it happens is
depends on who the person is because for
the person who was working at my gym who
you know was was a janitor or a cleaner
it happened really quick right for the
people who were more successful uh it
took longer and then you know the only
people at the end who would still for me
were the business owners who were doing
way better than me right who were still
members of my gym and so that was a
really interesting experience that
happened when I was 23 and that was the
first time I went from Underdog to the
person that someone would want to attack
but I had a performance coach tell me
this he said
hatred isn't
isn't something you avoid he said it is
a requisite for Success he said if you
get no hate you are not successful
and for some reason that just like
really stuck with me because then it
just like rather than it being this
thing that I was trying to avoid it
actually became a leading indicator or
an indicator that I was on the right
path in achieving things and so I think
that's why I mean I I don't I don't want
two horns or anything
um but in terms of like
my ability to deal with the naysayers
and things like that I feel like I'm
pretty good at it like it doesn't really
bug me very much
um and I think in large part it was
because of how it's framed at least how
you know in this discussion how it was
framed from you early on which is that
no one hates you from above
and even you know even when I think back
about like the bullies and whatnot that
you had earlier like even in Middle
School like there were things that I had
that were going for me that I couldn't
recognize because of course everything
that comes easy to you are things that
they're easy to use you don't think that
they're you know new or interesting or
cool and but like at the same time I was
like I'd Advanced a grade in multiple in
multiple subjects I had you know
Straight A's I worked really hard I was
in shape right and I but I had these
people who would hate but I you know you
internalize it but like now I can look
back and be like it's kind of like the
the parents were like it's because she's
into you right no it might not be the
same that way but but just thinking
about it as an indicator that the hate
is actually the light that you're on the
right path
we spoke about this last time that
nothing is going to be worthwhile that
doesn't come with an Associated amount
of discomfort
therefore when you start to feel
friends around you and the people that
you used to be able to speak a Common
Language with
start to push back and start to make the
quips of oh not drinking tonight yeah oh
you must be too cool for us now
I know it hurts I know it hurts
that is the lead indicator not even the
lagging indicator that is the lead
indicator that you're doing the right
thing
and a lot of people listen to this
podcast I get messages from people like
hey man I'm a 22 year old rugby player
from the northwest of of the UK I live
in Cumbria none of my friends uh
understand me I want to do personal
growth I don't want to live in the UK
and when I listen to Modern wisdom I
Fearless alone and it [ __ ] it makes
me tear up because I'm like [ __ ] like I
see me in that person I see me in that
and
the it's so hard to reframe it
the pushback you are getting is the
indicator that you are doing the right
thing
it is
and if you can reframe
the distaste that you get from other
people
as the same as that
because they're projecting the things
that they know they should be doing that
you are doing that they're not doing
and you remind them of that and so it's
that it's even so even though the
mountain that you're climbing is
actually a smaller one than the one that
you ultimately want to climb you're
actually at the top of their mountain
and so they start tearing you down so
like that's where the the Underdog Story
that we said the very beginning of this
was the quote which is like on the way
up they root for you and then when
you're at the top they try and tear you
down because you remind them of the
dreams that they couldn't accomplish
right and so you quitting drinking are
you staying in to work on your side
hustle or your project or the business
that you want to launch the podcast
that might be you might be at the top of
their mountain and so they are tearing
you down because now you remind them
that they haven't done it and it's
purely a projection of them onto you and
has nothing to do with you and that
I hope that that Comforts someone
because what you said I think is like if
you're going through that right now and
like and I promise you every single
person who wants to do something with
their life and has done something with
their life has gone through the exact
chapter that you're going through and
it's the lonely chapter it's the chapter
where you you're you don't fit in with
your own friends but you don't have the
outcomes yet to fit into a new group of
friends and you're doing this thing
you're consuming content on the internet
you're you're doing these free tutorials
online to try and figure out how to set
up a podcast and where do I host this
thing and then there and and you're
going through this and you're like am I
is this even worth it because you have
no signs of success right but if there's
anything that you can take away from
what we're saying right now is that the
sign of success is the hate that you get
along the way and what you can't do is
bend the knee to their hate and fit back
into the Conformity because it's
comfortable and it's warm because
like in The Matrix when Trinity opens
the door when when Neo's about to go
take the red pill and he wants to get
out of the car she says Neo you've been
down that road and you know exactly
where it leads and I know that's not
where you want to be
and then he closes the door like right
now this moment that you're going
through is Trinity opening the door and
being like you could go back but then
you'd have to remember exactly what the
reason was that you decided not to go
out to begin with is because you listen
to this podcast and you consume this
concert you're like I can [ __ ] do
more than this like because you are
starting to live in some of that how
where you look in the mirror and you're
like I can do more and you start to see
the person that you could be and you're
like this does start to feel like hell
the reason that it's uncomfortable and
the reason that
I do have sympathy for the people that
see this is
ignorance in some regards is bliss as
soon as you begin to posit an ideal yeah
you then begin to compare yourself to
that ideal and the Gap in potential
between you and the person that you
could have been begins to get more Stark
and
even the slightest glimmer of
wow I can I can read a book or follow a
course or listen to a podcast and then
work really really hard on one thing
and change the thermodynamics of my mind
change the texture of my own existence
day to day because I worked at a thing
and now I understand nutrition you know
I know kung fu yeah like I I understand
nutrition or I can I understand how to
sleep well okay as soon as you know that
sleep is important and what you need to
do to do it every single night of bad
sleep that you have is on you yeah
because before you had the excuse that
you're ignorant yeah and guess what
now you don't
every worthwhile goal
is worthwhile because it has a cost
associated with it and so the cost that
you're going through is what makes the
goal worthwhile to begin with because if
what you are we're setting out to do
were immediately available to you then
it would mean it would be immediately
available to everyone which means it
wouldn't be worthwhile so the very fact
that it's difficult is why it is worth
doing and so like we can't resent the
price tag of the shoes that we want to
buy
we just have to make the decision
whether or not we want to pay it we'll
get back to talking to Alex in one
minute but first I need to tell you
about surfsharkvpn if you're browsing
the internet without a VPN it's like
dancing in a muddy field without any
shoes on you can do it but it's not good
for you if you're using a public Wi-Fi
network the internet admin can see all
of the data going back and forth between
yourself and the internet all of this is
protected with surfsharkvpn plus it
gives you access to the entire world's
Netflix Library any territory that you
want if you're anywhere outside of the
US you can access way more Marvel series
and movies over here than you can in
your domestic territory and if you're in
the US maybe you could watch some
Japanese anime or get access to the
in-betweeners best of all it's available
across unlimited devices your laptop
your iPad your phone even your smart TVs
and there is a 30-day money-back
guarantee so you can buy it and try it
for 29 days if you do not like it
they'll give you your money back you can
get an exclusive offer from surf shark
today three months free and that 30-day
money-back guarantee by going to
surfshark.deals slash modern wisdom
that's such shark dot deals slash modern
wisdom
oh hey thanks for tuning in if you
enjoyed that clip then press here for
the full three hour podcast with Alex
go on
press it
foreign