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How To Get Through The Hardest Time Of Your Life - Chris Bumstead

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Chris Bumstead emphasizes a transformative approach to adversity, urging individuals to stop stressing in its face and instead desire it as an opportunity for growth. He acknowledges that feeling stress is natural and acceptable; however, he warns against letting that stress become so overwhelming that it causes avoidance of the challenge itself. Using his own experience tearing his latissimus dorsi muscle during preparation for a competition, Bumstead illustrates how reframing such setbacks can turn them into compelling stories that push an athlete beyond perceived limits. He argues that diving directly into adversity is the secret to growth and defines success not merely by winning or losing, but by giving everything one has while learning along the way. The core of his philosophy revolves around shifting focus from short-term outcomes to long-term values and character development. Bumstead questions whether a person's worth should depend on specific achievements like winning an Olympia title, noting that when he is old with grandchildren, they will care less about the number of titles on a mantlepiece than who their grandfather was as a partner, father, friend, and human being. He posits that while outcomes can feel arbitrary in the moment, the true legacy lies in how one handles challenges and reacts to them daily. This perspective allows individuals to define what it means to win or lose based on personal values rather than external validation, ensuring that every pursuit shapes a better version of oneself regardless of the result. A significant portion of his advice addresses the human tendency to numb difficult emotions through distractions like social media scrolling when facing tough days or bad weeks. Bumstead explains that this avoidance prevents proper processing and leads to accumulated anxiety later on; he advocates for "leaning into" discomfort rather than fighting it or escaping via technology. He references Ben Bergeron's concept of inviting discomfort through the door, suggesting that actively choosing to feel difficult emotions restores a sense of control over one's internal state. By sitting with these feelings instead of pushing them down, individuals can process them properly and rebuild confidence, turning fear exposure into a mechanism for personal growth rather than paralysis. Ultimately, Bumstead concludes that bad days are an essential component of a meaningful life because they provide the necessary contrast to appreciate good times and create a compelling narrative in retrospect. Without these struggles, overcoming challenges would lack glory, much like vanilla ice cream lacks flavor compared to something rich and complex. He encourages people to accept their current reality as where they are genuinely meant to be at that moment, understanding that tough days are part of the process leading toward good times. By pursuing things with meaning—such as love, relationships, and challenges—and accepting imperfection, happiness becomes a byproduct rather than an elusive goal constantly sought but never found.
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don't stress in the face of adversity make adversity something you desire for an opportunity to grow sounds an awful lot like probably what I need to take a little bit of advice from it could be interpreted in a you can still stress about it it's okay to feel the stress more so the stress that leads to avoiding the adversity because you know I in the other funny thing that I've thought about very related to this is going through adversity you my life is very revolved around competing in olympas when I go through adversity now I'm like this could be a part of my speech you know I tore my lat last year I'm like when I win this Olympia and I stand up on stage and I tell people I tore my l in the middle of this prep be like oh my God and it's going to make this story that much cooler you know and it's gonna it's going to push me Beyond to the levels of which I know I'm capable of accomplishing it's going to show me that when something feels impossible it's not until it's not you know I got to keep pushing through and figuring it out so the stress is okay to feel in adversity it's where the stress leads you that you need to avoid you need to prevent the stress from being strong enough to make you avoid adversity in the first place if you start to feel stressed about adversity I think diving right into it is like the secret for growth if your definition of success is win or lose giving everything you've got and growing or learning along the way then you're setting yourself up for success I really think the biggest cheat code in life is just going after it and not being concerned of whether or not you fail at one specific task instead understanding the big picture what your long-term goal is and knowing if you keep driving forward and never [ __ ] quit in the end you will succeed great quote I've based a lot of my life in the past about my definition of success and my definition of being a champion my definition of winning and I think it all just comes down to you know again your values when I'm old what's the end of this look like you know my values of being the best partner father person I can be when I'm 50 if I have five or six or seven or eight or nine or 10 olympias are any of those affected by that no so in this short-term goal of this moment of me wanting to win is this very important yes but is the pressure of my life and value and worth dependent on that no it's not it's the big picture of my life that I'm focusing on of who I want to become going through all these things so if I win an Olympia how do I want to win the Olympia who do I want to be when I win that Olympia how do I want to win it how do I want to show up my relationships if I lose that Olympia how do I want to lose who do I want to be when I lose who am I becoming through all these little challenges and goals along the way way that aren't the big picture who am I becoming which is the big picture and I think that's so important to for me to understand that everything that you choose to do and how you handle it is shaping who you're becoming and at the end of the day when you're old and have grandkids and chinging in your life you're the culmination of everything you've accomplished but also how you accomplished it and how you reacted to it what's a big picture who do you want to become isn't it interesting that you could have you know the same mantle piece above the fire that's got however many olympias on it and objectively when grandkids are bouncing on your knee they can look and see the same thing but the person behind them and the experiences that they went through and who they became in the process can be totally different which kind of shows that the outcomes that you get really are in the end kind of arbitrary and it's the person that's behind the grandkid that kind of matters yeah exactly if I had a picture of myself and I hadn't never won an Olympia and then I had a picture of myself that i' won six olympias and my kids were looking at holy [ __ ] you were Jack dad that's where their thought ends it's not like you had five you had six you had seven it doesn't matter you know that's cool you're Jack but who are you and how do you show up in my life every day you know and how did those Pursuits how did the goals that you tried to achieve or did achieve change you yeah how did they cause you to be a different sort of father or grandfather or husband or friend or business partner or whatever and what lessons did you learn and take from them that you can give to me so that I can learn from them and hopefully not go through as much pain while still learning the same lesson this is a pretty important one everything changed for me when I realized that we're not meant to feel excited and perfect all the time I started accepting that where I am right now is where I'm genuinely meant to be tough days are all a part of the process lean into them bad days are also part of a very good and meaningful life so on my toughest days I think about getting through one more day one more workout one more rep yeah I think I mean this applies deeply in the I mean on a smaller level of the starvation of prep when you're trying to get through it and you're just you're just trying to get through one more what was the first part of that Quan everything changed for me when I realized we're not meant to feel excited and perfect all the time yeah this was the the idea of pursuing happiness not leading to happiness you know you you P you pursue things that have meaning in life and things that you care about you know love challenges relationships and happiness might ensue but you don't pursue the happiness itself because it's inevitably not going to be there all the time so if you're just constantly seeking more happiness and it's not there then you're seeking something that's never going to be there but if you're able to just stick in what you're doing right now and in those Hard Times believing they're going to lead to Good Times it just creates a lot less friction in your life you know and I think whenever we're going through a hard time we just want it to end but it's still moments that allow us to appreciate the good ones what would you say to someone who's going through a string of bad days or bad weeks or bad months say it's okay yeah you're not alone you know I think sometimes a quick word of just looking at them and being like I know you're not alone give him a hug and be like this is [ __ ] right now and it's okay but you're not alone what does lean into them mean lean into the bad days I think specifically nowadays it's so easy to numb there's so many distractions there's so many things that we can just avoid feeling things with you know staple being your phone you you want to cry you you fight your tears you're feeling stressed you're overthinking something so you just pull up Instagram and you doom scroll for 20 minutes you get distracted you see a funny video of a cat close your phone and you forget about it that's not gone those feelings are still there they're just pushed down from a couple Instagram videos that are distracted and next thing you know a couple days go by and you just feel this anxiety over yourself and you're like why do I feel anxious I just feel like I can't I can't sleep and wake up at 5:00 a.m. over thinking like I don't know what's going I have no idea people like well are you stressed about anything like No And this is something that I've had to call myself out on if you ask me if I'm stressed half the time my answer is no you feel are you stressed no I'm fine I feel great and then if you look at me you're like do you feel calm you feel at ease do you feel relaxed I'd be like [ __ ] no so where where where am I feeling and for some reason stress to me is like numb but it's stressed so I don't really feel it and it's typically from not allowing myself to lean into the shitty time the shitty thoughts the shitty days and being able to sit with them and be with them accept what they are and process them properly rather than just numbing them so funny that you used the word lean into them uh Ben Bergeron in chasing Excellence says uh lean into discomfort is if you invited it through the door and I it's a phrase that's stuck with me because it feels like you are in control of the frame like okay and you come and let's do this yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah as opposed to again the fear that you have around being guilty or the agitation you have around being shameful or the distraction that you need to do in order to be able to get away from it it's uh it's an interesting one to think about how bad days are also a part of a very good meaningful life that it does really frame the story at the end both you and hosi have said the same thing in the last two episodes I've spoken to you about which is the bad days create the story that I'm one day going to tell myself about what I got through you know what I mean yeah without the bad days the story would be way more lame there would be no glory in overcoming anything because what did you overcome it was all just 40 to 60 you know vanilla ice cream mush gray like existence yeah I mean it's like the concept of the fear exposure therapy when you're trying to build confidence about something you're afraid of being exposed to the fear helps you overcome that but actively choosing to take that feon head on is actually What It Takes I can't throw a spider at you and you not afraid of spider but you choosing in your own mind to actively go to that Spider by yourself makes you actually grow from it so you choosing to take power of what little you can when you're feeling like when everything's crumbling around you and you feel powerless and helpless well what can you take control of you can take control of opening your door and letting that embracing that you know leaning into that hard time like I'm going to choose to feel this it's here I didn't choose that but I'm going to choose to feel it and I have power over the choice of what I feel and then you take your power back and you can build your confidence from there trust really is everything when it comes to supplements a lot of Brands may say that they're top quality but few can actually prove it which is why I partnered with momentus they make the highest quality supplements on the planet they're literally unparalleled when it comes to third party testing what you read on the label is what's in the product and absolutely nothing else three of the products are used to support my brain body and sleep are Omega-3s tonat Al and magnesium l38 to support cognitive performance optimal hormone function and better sleep they don't just claim third party tested like a lot of other brands what you read on the label is what you're putting in your body and absolutely nothing else best of all they ship internationally and offer a 30-day money back guarantee so if you're not sure you can buy it use it and if you do not like it after 29 days 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