Video summary
Chris Bumstead emphasizes a transformative approach to adversity, urging individuals to stop stressing in its face and instead desire it as an opportunity for growth. He acknowledges that feeling stress is natural and acceptable; however, he warns against letting that stress become so overwhelming that it causes avoidance of the challenge itself. Using his own experience tearing his latissimus dorsi muscle during preparation for a competition, Bumstead illustrates how reframing such setbacks can turn them into compelling stories that push an athlete beyond perceived limits. He argues that diving directly into adversity is the secret to growth and defines success not merely by winning or losing, but by giving everything one has while learning along the way. The core of his philosophy revolves around shifting focus from short-term outcomes to long-term values and character development. Bumstead questions whether a person's worth should depend on specific achievements like winning an Olympia title, noting that when he is old with grandchildren, they will care less about the number of titles on a mantlepiece than who their grandfather was as a partner, father, friend, and human being. He posits that while outcomes can feel arbitrary in the moment, the true legacy lies in how one handles challenges and reacts to them daily. This perspective allows individuals to define what it means to win or lose based on personal values rather than external validation, ensuring that every pursuit shapes a better version of oneself regardless of the result. A significant portion of his advice addresses the human tendency to numb difficult emotions through distractions like social media scrolling when facing tough days or bad weeks. Bumstead explains that this avoidance prevents proper processing and leads to accumulated anxiety later on; he advocates for "leaning into" discomfort rather than fighting it or escaping via technology. He references Ben Bergeron's concept of inviting discomfort through the door, suggesting that actively choosing to feel difficult emotions restores a sense of control over one's internal state. By sitting with these feelings instead of pushing them down, individuals can process them properly and rebuild confidence, turning fear exposure into a mechanism for personal growth rather than paralysis. Ultimately, Bumstead concludes that bad days are an essential component of a meaningful life because they provide the necessary contrast to appreciate good times and create a compelling narrative in retrospect. Without these struggles, overcoming challenges would lack glory, much like vanilla ice cream lacks flavor compared to something rich and complex. He encourages people to accept their current reality as where they are genuinely meant to be at that moment, understanding that tough days are part of the process leading toward good times. By pursuing things with meaning—such as love, relationships, and challenges—and accepting imperfection, happiness becomes a byproduct rather than an elusive goal constantly sought but never found.
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don't stress in the face of adversity
make adversity something you desire for
an opportunity to
grow sounds an awful lot like probably
what I need to take a little bit of
advice
from it could be interpreted in a you
can still stress about it it's okay to
feel the stress more so the stress that
leads to avoiding the
adversity
because you know I in the other funny
thing that I've thought about very
related to this is going through
adversity you my life is very revolved
around competing in olympas when I go
through adversity now I'm like this
could be a part of my speech you know I
tore my lat last year I'm like when I
win this Olympia and I stand up on stage
and I tell people I tore my l in the
middle of this prep be like oh my God
and it's going to make this story that
much cooler you know and it's gonna it's
going to push me Beyond to the levels of
which I know I'm capable of
accomplishing it's going to show me that
when something feels impossible it's not
until it's not you know I got to keep
pushing through and figuring it out so
the stress is okay to feel in adversity
it's where the stress leads you that you
need to avoid you need to prevent the
stress from being strong enough to make
you avoid adversity in the first place
if you start to feel stressed about
adversity I think diving right into it
is like the secret for
growth if your definition of success is
win or lose giving everything you've got
and growing or learning along the way
then you're setting yourself up for
success I really think the biggest cheat
code in life is just going after it and
not being concerned of whether or not
you fail at one specific task instead
understanding the big picture what your
long-term goal is and knowing if you
keep driving forward and never [ __ ]
quit in the end you will
succeed great
quote I've based a lot of my life in the
past about my definition of success and
my definition of being a champion my
definition of winning and I think it all
just comes down to you know again your
values when I'm old what's the end of
this look like you know my values of
being the best partner father person I
can
be when I'm 50 if I have five or six or
seven or eight or nine or 10 olympias
are any of those affected by that no so
in this short-term goal of this moment
of me wanting to win is this very
important yes but is the pressure of my
life and value and worth dependent on
that no it's not it's the big picture of
my life that I'm focusing on of who I
want to become going through all these
things so if I win an Olympia how do I
want to win the Olympia who do I want to
be when I win that Olympia how do I want
to win it how do I want to show up my
relationships if I lose that Olympia how
do I want to lose who do I want to be
when I lose who am I becoming through
all these little challenges and goals
along the way way that aren't the big
picture who am I becoming which is the
big picture and I think that's so
important to for me to understand that
everything that you choose to do and how
you handle it is shaping who you're
becoming and at the end of the day when
you're old and have grandkids and
chinging in your life you're the
culmination of everything you've
accomplished but also how you
accomplished it and how you reacted to
it what's a big picture who do you want
to become isn't it interesting that you
could have you know the same mantle
piece above the fire that's got however
many olympias on it and objectively when
grandkids are bouncing on your knee they
can look and see the same thing but the
person behind them and the experiences
that they went through and who they
became in the process can be totally
different which kind of shows that the
outcomes that you get really are in the
end kind of arbitrary and it's the
person that's behind the grandkid that
kind of matters yeah exactly
if I had a picture of myself and I
hadn't never won an Olympia and then I
had a picture of myself that i' won six
olympias and my kids were looking at
holy [ __ ] you were Jack
dad that's where their thought ends it's
not like you had five you had six you
had seven it doesn't matter you know
that's cool you're Jack but who are you
and how do you show up in my life every
day you know and how did those Pursuits
how did the goals that you tried to
achieve or did achieve change you yeah
how did they cause you to be a different
sort of father or grandfather or husband
or friend or business partner or
whatever and what lessons did you learn
and take from them that you can give to
me so that I can learn from them and
hopefully not go through as much pain
while still learning the same
lesson this is a pretty important one
everything changed for me when I
realized that we're not meant to feel
excited and perfect all the time I
started accepting that where I am right
now is where I'm genuinely meant to be
tough days are all a part of the process
lean into them bad days are also part of
a very good and meaningful life so on my
toughest days I think about getting
through one more day one more workout
one more
rep yeah I think I mean this applies
deeply in
the I mean on a smaller level of the
starvation of prep when you're trying to
get through it and you're just you're
just trying to get through one more what
was the first part of that Quan
everything changed for me when I
realized we're not meant to feel excited
and perfect all the time yeah this was
the the idea of pursuing happiness not
leading to happiness you know you you P
you pursue things that have meaning in
life and things that you care about you
know love challenges
relationships and happiness might ensue
but you don't pursue the happiness
itself because it's inevitably not going
to be there all the time so if you're
just constantly seeking more happiness
and it's not there then you're seeking
something that's never going to be there
but if you're able to just stick in what
you're doing right now and in those Hard
Times believing they're going to lead to
Good
Times it just creates a lot less
friction in your life you know and I
think whenever we're going through a
hard time we just want it to end but
it's still moments that allow us to
appreciate the good ones what would you
say to someone who's going through a
string of bad days or bad weeks or bad
months say it's okay yeah you're not
alone you know I think sometimes a quick
word of just looking at them and being
like I know you're not alone give him a
hug and be like this is [ __ ] right now
and it's okay but you're not
alone what does lean into them
mean lean into the bad
days I think specifically nowadays it's
so easy to numb there's so many
distractions there's so many things that
we can just avoid feeling things with
you know staple being your phone you you
want to cry you you fight your tears
you're feeling stressed you're
overthinking something so you just pull
up Instagram and you doom scroll for 20
minutes you get distracted you see a
funny video of a cat close your phone
and you forget about it that's not gone
those feelings are still there they're
just pushed down from a couple Instagram
videos that are distracted and next
thing you know a couple days go by and
you just feel this anxiety over yourself
and you're like why do I feel anxious I
just feel like I can't I can't sleep and
wake up at 5:00 a.m. over thinking like
I don't know what's going I have no idea
people like well are you stressed about
anything like No And this is something
that I've had to call myself out on if
you ask me if I'm stressed half the time
my answer is no you feel are you
stressed no I'm fine I feel great and
then if you look at me you're like do
you feel calm you feel at ease do you
feel relaxed I'd be like [ __ ] no so
where where where am I feeling and for
some reason stress to me is like numb
but it's stressed so I don't really feel
it and it's typically from not allowing
myself to lean into the shitty time the
shitty thoughts the shitty days and
being able to sit with them and be with
them accept what they are and process
them properly rather than just numbing
them so funny that you used the word
lean into them uh Ben Bergeron in
chasing Excellence says
uh lean into discomfort is if you
invited it through the door
and I it's a phrase that's stuck with me
because it feels
like you are in control of the frame
like okay and you come and let's do this
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah as opposed to
again the fear that you have around
being guilty or the agitation you have
around being shameful or the distraction
that you need to do in order to be able
to get away from it it's
uh it's an interesting one to think
about how bad days are also a part of a
very good meaningful life that it does
really
frame the story at the end both you and
hosi have said the same thing in the
last two episodes I've spoken to you
about which
is the bad
days create the story that I'm one day
going to tell myself about what I got
through you know what I mean
yeah without the bad days the story
would be way more lame there would be no
glory in overcoming anything because
what did you overcome it was all just 40
to 60 you know vanilla ice cream mush
gray like existence yeah I mean it's
like the concept of the fear exposure
therapy when you're trying to build
confidence about something you're afraid
of being exposed to the fear helps you
overcome that but actively choosing to
take that feon head on is actually What
It Takes I can't throw a spider at you
and you not afraid of spider but you
choosing in your own mind to actively go
to that Spider by yourself makes you
actually grow from it so you choosing to
take power of what little you can when
you're feeling like when everything's
crumbling around you and you feel
powerless and helpless well what can you
take control of you can take control of
opening your door and letting that
embracing that you know leaning into
that hard time like I'm going to choose
to feel this it's here I didn't choose
that but I'm going to choose to feel it
and I have power over the choice of what
I feel and then you take your power back
and you can build your confidence from
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