Video summary
The discussion opens with a reflection on an essay by Strangest Loop, which humorously lists numerous ineffective strategies for achieving goals, ranging from scheduling time and making to-do lists to seeking validation or hating obstacles; ultimately, the core message is that only actual execution works. The speaker emphasizes that while one can dress up tasks however they wish—talking about compounding benefits or reading how others succeeded—the fundamental requirement remains sitting at a desk and doing the work directly. This insight highlights a common struggle with procrastination, where individuals often engage in cognitive dissonance by announcing intentions to the world without following through, effectively avoiding the immediate discomfort of starting rather than facing it head-on. A pivotal concept introduced is that human motivation is not primarily driven by pleasure but by the avoidance of discomfort, as explained by author and researcher Nel who wrote on distraction. The speaker illustrates this with examples such as cleaning a house instead of writing an essay or swiping through Instagram while trying to write a book chapter; in each case, these actions represent paths of less resistance taken because they avoid the psychological pain associated with the primary task. To overcome procrastination, one must heighten self-awareness regarding specific sources of discomfort, such as feeling unprepared for a subject matter or fearing an awkward conversation, and then consciously choose to address that root cause rather than engaging in distracting behaviors like checking social media. The dialogue shifts to redefining pressure through the mantra "Pressure is Your Privilege," originally coined by tennis player Steffi Graf before being popularized on apparel by Chris Bumstead. The speaker argues that growth occurs under pressure, and avoiding difficulty leads to a compounding effect where future challenges become harder than present ones. This avoidance often stems from negative stories we tell ourselves about stress, such as fears of inadequacy or being kicked out of one's "tribe," which trigger detrimental physiological responses; conversely, viewing pressure as an opportunity for growth allows individuals to yield greater returns in happiness and health over the long term by moving discomfort into the current moment. The conversation further explores imposter syndrome, distinguishing between a healthy sense of not yet having proof of capability and a maladaptive version that persists despite evidence of success. The speaker notes that robust confidence builds through "bleeding" experiences from analogous situations, such as how skills gained in public speaking or social chains transfer to podcasting and YouTube creation. This process allows individuals to accumulate compounding evidence against their fears, transforming initial uncertainty into genuine competence. Ultimately, the argument concludes that anyone desiring a fulfilling life must embrace difficulty rather than defer it, recognizing that avoiding pressure sets oneself up for greater struggles later while actively engaging with challenges fosters resilience and long-term well-being.
Read the full video transcript
I fell in love with an essay by
strangest Loop and it is a list of
things that are not doing the thing so
here is a list of things that I'm not
doing the thing preparing to do the
thing isn't doing the thing scheduling
time to do the thing isn't doing the
thing making a to-do list for the thing
isn't doing the thing telling people
you're going to do the thing isn't doing
the thing messaging friends who may or
may not be doing the thing isn't doing
the thing writing a banger tweet about
how you're going to do the thing isn't
doing the thing hating on yourself for
not doing the thing isn't doing the
thing hating on other people who have
done the thing isn't doing the thing
hating on the obstacles in the way of
you doing the thing isn't doing the
thing fantasizing about all of the
Adoration you'll receive once you do the
thing isn't doing the thing reading
about how to do the thing isn't doing
the thing reading about how other people
did the thing isn't doing the thing
reading this essay isn't doing the thing
the only thing that is doing the thing
is doing the thing and I love this
Insight that you can dress it up however
you want the work just needs doing and
you can fluff it and you can change it
and you can talk about compounding But
ultimately it comes down to sitting at
the desk and answering the email opening
the word document recording the podcast
and one of the things that I found is a
really great hack for me I would have
none I would have no success as a
YouTuber that I've had being a podcaster
because I work well when I have someone
else in front of me like I would clean
my room at home if mom came and sat and
like just watch or talk to me right
because I I just didn't want to [ __ ]
do something that's sucked on my own
being a YouTuber and staring down the
lens hi guys welcome back to the channel
today we're going to [ __ ] do whatever
we're going to do I really really
struggle with that sitting down with
someone else in front of me that makes
it easy so there are ways that doing the
thing can become more easy but
ultimately the work just needs
do really highlights the discipline
equation but but also all of those
things in that essay really pointed at
procrastination and there was hints of
um trying to realign one's cognitive
dissonance by announcing to the the
world that you are something that you
know is not consistent with your actions
but one of the things that I really got
from that was people think we're
motivated by Pleasure and if you when I
sat with Nel who wrote the book on
distraction and procrastination and why
people do it one of the really key
messages I took away was that we're
actually motivated by the avoidance of
discomfort and like so I I quizzed him
on it I was like really okay so sex he
goes yeah horiness is a form of
discomfort so you're motivated to
relieve yourself of the horniness and if
you look at any aspect of your life when
you're procrastinating cleaning the
house or you're procrastinating doing
the essay so you end up cleaning the
house it's because that's the path of
less discomfort you we're motivated by
the avoidance of discomfort this is
really useful because if you want to
understand why you're procrastinating in
some area of your life the most
important question is heightening your
selfawareness on the thing that's
causing the discomfort because in most
areas where we procrastinate we have no
idea we're just avoiding it do you think
do you ever think about the weird [ __ ]
that you do when you're procrastinating
from the thing you're supposed to do
like I have an essay or an email to
write that I don't want to write or I
need to reply to someone that and it's
an awkward an awkward conversation or
something like that and guess what now
my cupboard sources are perfectly
aligned like you will find the most
inventive ways to not do the thing I I I
noticed this about myself I flew to
Barley to write my latest book and as I
was in the jungle I noticed this pattern
where every time I picked up my phone
like just see needlessly was because I
was at a Hardo in the book yeah so every
single time I'd be get I'd get to a
point and I was trying to summarize it
or find some research to back it up
within 30 seconds as if I'm possessed by
this Puppet Master above me yeah pick up
the phone start swiping and I'm on
Instagram and I and I go [ __ ] of course
I'm avoiding the discomfort and it's so
important to get clear on that because
you you need to understand the forces
that are pulling and pushing you and
then you can say to yourself okay why am
I avoiding this chapter what is it well
I don't feel researched enough on this
subject matter okay well I'm going to
step away from the computer and I'm
going to read that book or watch that
YouTube video as opposed to just banging
my head against this word document you
can if you become aware of the
discomfort you can counteract it but if
you're not aware of it it's just it's an
an object you just can't hit so that
that changed my life that question what
is the psychological discomfort I'm
avoiding right now you must make
pressure Your Privilege so pressure is a
privilege is on a lot of t-shirts by
Chris Bumstead who is the current Mr
Olympia classic physique champion he was
on the podcast a little while ago made
t-shirts with pressure as your privilege
on it turns out that one of my best
friends in Austin his godmother first
came up with that the tennis player yeah
yeah and sued Chris no and I was like oh
yeah her book is called pressure
pressure is a privileg this is awkward
yeah that the guy that I and it was the
first question I asked him and then I
spoke to Sky and I was like have I there
been has this recreated some trauma
inside of the family is Thanksgiving
dinner going to be ruined because I
brought it back up again but yeah you
must make pressure Your Privilege
why you look at any aspect of Our Lives
where we experience growth it's under
pressure there's an old cliche adage
about how Diamonds Are Made which I
think although is cliche speaks to this
in such profundity and even when we
think about the Comfort crisis we're
living in and all of the health outcomes
and predicaments that we're facing
through our obsessive and pursuit of
comfort and how the body has started to
break down and we've got all of these
mismatch diseases they call it where the
world we're living in and the way we
behave within it isn't aligned to who we
who we are um it's the avoidance of
pressure and it goes back to what you
said earlier about avoiding that
difficult conversation or that difficult
piece of work if if there is an
antithesis to pressure it is in my mind
it is Comfort it is ease and that means
that today is great and tomorrow is bad
and anyone that has the foresight to
have move that discomfort and that
pressure into the current moment yields
much greater returns in terms of
happiness and health in the long term
and in the book I go through tons of
examples from Health from Sports to
Everest climbers who understand and that
famous tennis player who was the best in
the world and I still think she is the
the best female tennis player in the
world um it was her Mantra it was that
what is your relationship with
difficulty and everybody including
people in my family who have a adverse
reaction to difficulty just defer it
into the future in a bigger way it
compounds against them to make their
future harder than their present so
everyone's relationship with difficulty
whether it's difficult conversations or
difficult workouts or difficult physical
Psy ological exertion um those
individuals I think are setting
themselves up for a brighter future well
how do you deal with the discomfort that
comes along with pressure though right
you
have okay the fact that I have pressure
means that I care about something it
means that it's fulfilling to me uh
there are people that go through their
entire life and don't ever have anything
that approximates like importance right
and I have it but the felt sense of
pressure isn't that the felt sense is
overwhelm and chaos and concern and and
there's a a story below those words
you've just used that really is the
problem it's I'm not good enough I'm
going to be kicked out of the tribe I'm
Different all of those things right
those that's the base layer the
interpretation you're right there's a
story We Tell ourselves about our
pressure which determines how we
experience the pressure I actually did
if you look at that famous Ted Talk on
stress and pressure what they found out
is that stress and pressure don't
actually kill people unless you believe
it will you have a negative
interpretation of your pressure and your
stress then it shows up in your
physiological response you get more
diseases but in that famous Ted Talk
which I think has like 30 million views
she found out that pressure in itself
isn't the problem it's the story We Tell
ourselves about our pressure that causes
us to be unhealthy um and we all have
different stories about our pressure and
if and if your story is that it is x y
and Zed it's going to get me kicked out
of the tribe it's going to expose myself
for not being good enough if your story
about difficult situations is I'm an
impostor versus this is a growth moment
moment not only you're going to show up
worse you're going to perform worse and
the physiological impact and
psychological impact is going to be
detrimental and that's what this whole
argument about imposter syndrome is so
confusing to me because if I asked
anybody would you like a life where you
were never outside of your where you
never did anything that challenged you
or pushed you would you choose that no
so why are you complaining about your
life being full of that I think anyone
who has a healthy relationship with
pressure goes in search of continual
imposter syndrome like you know what I
mean like and they would be they would
be dismayed at a life without it without
that pressure and feeling out of your
depth well the presumption would be that
you're never doing anything you haven't
done before right there are people that
have impostor syndrome which I call
imposter adaptation which is your
impostor syndrome persists despite the
fact that you've disproven it at this
very thing it would be like every single
time that you did a podcast you being
adamant it was going to be terrible and
you were going to fluff your words and
and [ __ ] yourself and say something
racist right it would be like
everything's going to go wrong despite
the fact that you've got 300 400 [ __ ]
bits of proof that that's not the case
mhm but impostor syndrome should show up
in someone who's healthily moving
forward into new areas that they haven't
been in before like imposter syndrome
largely is a very realistic assessment
of wow I've never I have no proof that I
can do the thing that I'm trying to do
like what did you expect do you have
Blind Faith and over time what you end
up with what really good robust
confidence is is
when analogous
situations start to bleed into other
ones you spent a lot of time during
social chain doing onstage speaking
which presumably gave you even just a
tiny little bit of a base that oh well
like podcasting is kind of not not a
million miles away from being on stage
and being on YouTube's not a million
miles away from being un okay so it
starts to sort of bleed into these other
things and that's when it's really cool
and that's when you get real compounding
of confidence confidence evidence yes
yes that's what we said earlier talking
about criticism you've moved from we'll
get back to talking to stepen in one
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