Video summary
Alex Hormozi argues that achieving extraordinary success requires ignoring the opinions of the average person, who he characterizes as often struggling with obesity and financial instability while actively trying to keep others mediocre. He posits that most people will attempt to deter you from taking risks because your potential failure would validate their own decision not to take similar chances. Consequently, those seeking exceptionalism must listen only to individuals closest to their specific goals rather than those physically close to them in social circles. Hormozi emphasizes that yearning for the approval of many is futile when those people live lives you do not desire; if one does not want what others have, there is no logical reason to value their input on personal decisions or life choices. As individuals mature and break away from societal molds imposed by parents, teachers, and peers, they inevitably face rejection for living against the majority's preferences. Hormozi reframes this loneliness as a necessary signal of progress rather than a flaw in character, noting that Larry Ellison once remarked that if everyone thinks your idea is stupid, either you are right or they are; being right often leads to significant financial reward. This path involves enduring pain from snide remarks, demeaning jokes, and silent exclusion, which Hormozi views as the painful but essential beginning of a metamorphosis into one's true self. He suggests that trading these moments of social friction for solitude allows individuals to recognize that their current environment is not what they want to be part of. The journey toward greatness often involves navigating "local maximums," where an individual achieves success within existing frames only to realize it was not the ultimate goal, forcing them to let go and pursue a higher peak while others remain satisfied with lesser achievements. Hormozi shares his own story of building a successful event company in the UK, complete with wealth, status, and freedom, yet feeling unfulfilled because he had reached a plateau that did not align with his deeper aspirations. He explains that once someone reaches a new level where they can see further than their peers, those who stayed behind will judge them by outdated scorecards, while the individual must consciously decide to move toward a global maximum rather than settling for comfort within a local one. A critical distinction Hormozi draws is between falling off a mountain through choice versus never making it at all; he advocates against having goals removed from you unconsciously when they no longer feel worth the price. He observes that people often change their goals not because they lost, but because they realized the conquest was less rewarding than expected or that beating competitors feels like a giant crushing a child rather than a fair fight. While it is acceptable for someone to consciously decide that an endeavor is no longer worth the cost, Hormozi strongly advises against accepting such decisions being made by others without conscious awareness, as this leads to a life of irrelevance and unfulfilled potential where one shrinks into obscurity while chasing diminishing returns.
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Don't listen to other people's opinions.
Friendly reminder that most people are
fat, poor pansies
and don't listen to them when they try
to deter you from whatever it takes to
succeed.
The average person will always try to
keep you average. It makes sense that if
you want to be extraordinary, you will
do things that an ordinary person would
see as extra.
This is the really hard part that I had
to come to terms with.
It's that a lot of people want to see
you fail because it justifies the risk
that they chose not to take.
We always have to think about listening
to the people who are closest to our
goals, not closest to us.
>> We yearn for the approval
of
many people
who don't have lives that we want.
And so if they have a specific life,
then it means that that is
what they think is valuable.
And if we don't want what they have,
then why would we value their weight on
our decisions?
>> Mhm.
>> And so it's like you have this they're
like we have this mold that is my life.
Your life no longer fits my mold.
And you're like right, I don't like the
pot that that mold makes.
And so somehow when people state the
obvious, which is that you are living
your life against my preferences,
we somehow feel like that needs to
change because when we're younger and
growing up,
>> You can't leave.
>> Yeah, you can't leave and you do need to
live your life according to your
parents' preferences, your teachers'
preferences, your classmates'
preferences, your principals'
preferences. Um
but when you get older, you do have to
break the mold and decide what mold you
want. And in so doing, you will be
against their preferences. And if the
vast majority of people have a life that
you don't want, then you're going to do
things that the vast majority of people
don't agree with.
>> Mhm.
I think the average American adult is
obese, likely to be divorced, and has
less than 1K in the bank. Doing what
everybody else does sounds like
a great idea, but it's actually a
reliable route to a life that you're
probably not looking for.
>> This is
I feel very passionately about this
particular topic because
it means that the path to exceptionalism
is lonely.
And loneliness is something that we
decry as a society, that there's
something wrong with it, there's
something bad, there's something wrong
with you
if
many people disagree with you.
But this is But success and pursuit of
large endeavors is one of those few
domains where
everyone disagreeing with you is a
signal that you are actually
doing something different. Now,
sometimes you doing something different
is the wrong move. I think um Larry
Ellison said this. He said uh
if everyone thinks your idea is stupid,
either
they're right
or you're right. And if you're right,
then you're likely to make a lot of
money. I'm loosely paraphrasing, but
basically it's like we have to be
willing to
do exceptional things in isolation
and deal with the pain of rejection. Um
and some of rejection isn't people
saying, "No, I don't want to buy from
you." Some of rejection is people just
rejecting your behavior, rejecting who
you're becoming, rejecting the choices
that you're making. Um and I think that
rejection oftentimes is harder because
it often surfaces as snide remarks,
>> Mhm.
>> jokes that are demeaning, that have a
little bit too much edge to them, like a
little bit too much truth.
>> Or even just being excluded, a more
silent version of that, not commission
but omission. Oh, we won't invite them
out.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh, you you you turned up to squash
practice. I didn't know it was on. I
just thought that I don't know, did you
guys not tell me? Oh, yeah, well, all
right, come on, join.
>> Yeah. This Those moments. And I think
those moments are very painful. Um
but you you trade those moments
for
the many moments when you're at home
alone
looking at your life around you
and saying this is not what I want.
>> want to be here.
>> Right. I don't want to be here. I don't
want to be who I am.
>> And I don't want to be there with them,
either.
>> Right. And so, it's no man's land. Um
and I think that that is like
the beginning of the metamorphosis. It's
the beginning of the transformation.
>> The single most powerful idea that me
and you have come up with in the lonely
chapter. By far, by far. And I think the
reason that it speaks to people is that
the amount of doubt that you have to
endure
when doing this for the first time, when
nobody around you understands what
you're trying to do, when you're
actively being discouraged from making
changes, and you have no promise of
glory or success on the other side of it
is one of the most perfect cocktails of
pain
and discomfort that you can go through.
>> And this happens on every mountain. So,
it happens on your first mountain, and
it happens on your second mountain.
Like, if you are you achieve some level
of success that everyone around you
deems as successful enough by their
standards, not yours,
when you pursue the next summit
they then all of it begins again. The
machine begins again.
>> I actually think that for a lot of
people
the first big lonely chapter that they
will feel will be after their first
success. Because for a lot of people,
the first success is done within the
frame that they're already inside of.
They get to the top of it, realize it
wasn't what they wanted, and then some
people decide to go back down. Uh
maybe some people don't need to go up
the first mountain to realize they're
somewhere they don't want to be. But for
a lot of people, especially people that
are driven and and pushed toward
excellence, I think they actually have
to get there within This was my story,
right? Getting
one of the biggest events companies in
the UK, running
an organization that is cool and fun and
I got to define and I was the boss and
everybody knew me and there's some
wealth and some status and some freedom
and there's girls.
>> [sighs]
>> Everybody's telling me that this is
something that I should be happy about
and satisfied with.
And for some reason it didn't feel
right.
And the only way
to try and find something new is to let
go of something that everybody else is
telling you is something that you should
want.
>> Local maximums.
And it's like the furthest step that you
can see up the mountain and then when
you get to that new local maximum, you
have a different perception than they do
and you can see the next peak and they
can't.
>> Some people don't need to go up the
peak, but I think a lot of people do.
>> Yeah.
I am
>> I wonder if there's a different types of
a lonely chapter. I wonder if there's a
different type of a lonely chapter of of
letting go. I I I've kind of been Hold
that thought. I I just I I really wanted
to talk to you about the difference
between having fallen off and having
never never made it.
>> Mhm.
>> And having fallen off a lot of the time
is somebody going from one local maxima
to another local maxima that's higher or
to a global maxima. Like, sure, some
fall off the curve not through choice,
but that evolution might be somebody
going
My priorities have changed.
>> Mhm.
>> And you are judging me on the scorecard
of the game that I used to play.
I'm not bothered about that anymore.
Oh, that guy fell off.
>> You know, I have two two completely
different thoughts about this. Um
One is short and then I'll I'll make the
longer one. Um
I realized when I was I was writing
something a while ago um that
when you haven't when you have no
evidence or no proof that you're going
to be successful, Everyone will ask why
you're working so hard.
And then once you win, everyone asks why
you're working so hard.
>> You know that was the Mark Manson one
that he said, "We'll tell you how lucky
you are."
>> Oh, is it I did you say?
>> liked the idea of
No, they just ask you again why you're
working so hard.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
>> And
>> a funny remix.
>> Yeah. And um
And it was just a realization that
people were literally always going to
ask me why I was working so hard or why
you were working so hard and why are you
pursuing your goals because they're
saying that your goals are not the goals
that I would pursue and to which you
would respond, "Yes."
The second thing was um
I was I was talking to an entrepreneur
who was successful and they were saying,
"Hey, I really want um I want to
dominate my market. I want to put
everyone else out of business, blah blah
blah blah blah."
And I as somebody who has put people out
of business, um
I will say that
it doesn't come with parades and it
doesn't come with balloons and it's not
Goliath versus Goliath because by the
time you actually beat them into true
submission, it's really like a giant
beating a child. Because
it's almost never a true fair fight.
And there are no rules and there is no
referee and no one determines you the
winner. And so what ends up happening is
you get bigger and bigger and bigger and
then they shrink into irrelevance and
then you see a Facebook post that says
that they've changed their goals and
that they actually determine that this
isn't as important to them as it once
was.
And I think that
one, that's okay.
Um
two, it's not satisfying at all. Three,
when you see the the jobs and the
employees that actually work at the
company that were just, you know,
living their lives and have kids and all
of a sudden like this idea of this
conquest that you're going to beat
someone feels significantly less
rewarding.
Um
>> That's glorious.
>> 100%.
And
I used to I used to joke that when When
lose, they change their goals, rather
than say they lost.
And
I think it's more that they might have
at some point while they
began to lose, maybe it's the first
quarter of the second quarter of the
game, they're down by a few points. They
might have some awareness of what it
would take in order to win,
but they determined at that point that
the trade was no longer worth it. And I
think that that's okay. And I would say
that that has that is a shift that I've
had personally. Is that if someone no
longer determines that the price is
worth it, then amazing. They've made it
they've made a conscious decision.
What I what I I would say I advocate
against is having that decision made for
you
because you weren't conscious of the
decision being made to begin with.
And then just basically accepting it.
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