Video summary
Blaine Anderson addresses the common misconception that meeting women at a traditional gym requires sacrificing one's physique or training style, arguing instead that specific environments are far more conducive to social interaction than others. He contrasts open gyms like Equinox or Lifetime, where individuals often wear headphones and remain isolated during workouts, with settings such as rock climbing gyms, CrossFit boxes, and group fitness classes like Barry's 45. In these latter locations, there are natural starting and stopping points that facilitate conversation without interrupting a workout routine. Anderson notes that while men might feel compelled to abandon their heavy metal lifting routines for more social activities like Orange Theory or Pilates to meet women, this is not necessarily an admission of defeat but rather a strategic shift in location; however, he emphasizes that one does not need to completely give up their current regimen if they are willing to supplement it with visits to these friendlier venues. The discussion delves into the evolutionary psychology behind dating dynamics through the concept of the sex ratio hypothesis, which suggests that the rarer sex holds more power in a local mating market. Anderson illustrates this by comparing different social scenes: while nightclubs often have a skewed female-to-male ratio favoring women's choice, fitness-focused environments like Solid Core or Pilates studios frequently present a male-skewed environment where men are competing for fewer available single women. He cites an example of a client in Brooklyn playing Mahjong at a meetup with one hundred women and only four other men, resulting in three girls giving him their number immediately. This dynamic creates a high-pressure but potentially rewarding scenario for the few interested men, as they must adhere to the rules set by the majority female demographic present. Beyond specific fitness niches, Anderson highlights running clubs as another premier venue for meeting women due to their unique social structure and pre-selection benefits. He explains that run clubs masquerade as a fitness pursuit but function effectively as social clubs because participants gather before and after runs, providing legitimate opportunities to talk without the awkwardness of simply standing around in a park. These groups attract health-conscious individuals who are likely reliable, have normal jobs, and do not rely on drinking culture for socialization, making them an ideal filter for compatible partners. The consistency of weekly meetups allows men to leverage familiarity as an effective opener by referencing previous sightings of women at the club, which significantly lowers barriers to conversation compared to one-off encounters in bars or clubs. Other recreational activities such as CrossFit and dance classes are also presented as viable options with distinct advantages for dating success. In CrossFit environments, while many participants may be married due to the high dedication required, there is still a significant presence of single individuals, particularly women who outnumber men at events like those in the Northeast UK. The culture within these gyms fosters interaction through fist bumps and high-fives during warm-ups or cool-downs, creating natural touchpoints for connection. Similarly, dance classes offer an excellent market because they inherently have fewer male participants than female ones, meaning single, fun guys who are authentically interested in the art form become highly desirable partners to women seeking a good dancing experience. Ultimately, Anderson concludes that while there is no magic bullet or guaranteed method to meet women at any location, understanding the social mechanics of different environments can significantly improve one's chances. The key lies in recognizing where natural interaction points exist and being willing to adapt one's routine slightly if necessary to access these spaces. Whether it involves joining a Mahjong group, attending an early morning run club on a Saturday, or taking up salsa dancing, the common thread is finding communities that prioritize social engagement alongside physical activity. By shifting focus from solitary "neurotic" training styles in isolated gyms to communal activities with balanced or female-skewed demographics, men can create opportunities for connection without compromising their fitness goals entirely.
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what about guys approaching girls in the
gym I met my husband at the gym thought
you went on a date a walk as our first
date we didn't meet on a walk I see yep
okay um so I met him at a fitness class
like a group fitness class like a
barries 45 type thing barries yeah
exactly in San Francisco so you can meet
women at the gym I am proof that it is
possible but there are different
considerations and some gym environments
are going to be better than others so
like a rock climbing gym a CrossFit gym
a fitness class these places are going
to better facilitate meeting women
there's natural starting and stopping
points there's times when everyone is
standing around you can talk to her when
she's not working out just an open gym
floor like at equinox or lifetime where
she has her headphones in is on the
treadmill is in the midst of a workout
not good you would then need to wait
until she's like at the water fountain
or you're coming and going at the same
time which is much more just chance
there's a lot of guys
who are probably thinking godamn it I
might need to put my bodybuilding gains
to one side because my like solo
neurotic heavy metal in the headphones
training style of this bro gym isn't
going to work I need to start doing
[ __ ] Orange Theory so that I can hang
around with girls as they come in and
out literally and going have to these
are the sacrifices that men have to make
that women really don't understand you
know like the patriarchy is not alive or
well when you have to sacrifice gains to
be able to talk to women but it's true
clients all the time were like oh I
really like my gym routine I'm like okay
well that's fine but then you're you're
not going to meet women there so if you
want you're saying you want to meet a
woman who's fit who likes to work out
you need to spend some time at these
other places and I'm not saying totally
give up your own gym routine but you
might be surprised like I every time I
send a client to Pilates they're like
holy [ __ ] that was so much harder than I
thought like I was dying and so solid
call wrecks people they're getting so
popular at the moment yeah well I mean
does you know to lean into some of the
EV psychology stuff there's an idea
called sex ratio hypothesis which is
whoever in a local ecology is the rarest
sex has the upper hand in the mating
market so you see that in areas with a
male skewed sex ratio there are more
dates before uh sex uh women are less
likely to say that they're happy with
any one man they're less likely to
commit uh men are forced to go on more
dates before they can actually sort of
move forward and the reverse is true too
that if men are the sex that there are
fewer dates before sex etc etc reason
being that if there are more of your
particular sex competing for more of
that rarer sex's attention you need to
play by their rules and that means that
if you're a dude that goes to solid core
and does Pates like between you and a
gay instructor there's two there's like
one guy that's interested in the women
in this entire room and maybe 70% of
them have got a fell and a couple of
them aren't looking to date but that's
still a really strong sex ratio yeah
well this is maybe it's not 20 to1 but
it's 3 to1 or 4 to1 it's better than a
nightclub yeah way better than a
nightclub where the reverse is often
true um yeah that's a great point it
just makes a lot of sense I have a
client in um New York who started
playing Maan are you familiar with maang
is it like a board game uh it's like
with these little domino pieces it's
from China but they have an American
version I'm actually very into it myself
right now okay but um talk about a good
place to meet women he goes like a
Brooklyn majan Meetup and he's one of
four Dudes and there's a hundred women
there and he had like three girls give
him their number and be like you should
join our Maan group like trying to get a
guy in wow wow well I mean run clubs uh
at the moment are just so popular right
now the hottest thing in the world uh
did you see there was a great meme that
came out a couple of weeks ago that said
uh over sexualized run Club starter pack
and it was just all of the different
that it was like keton IQ element was in
there an Andrew Cuban podcast
it was really really good but yeah I
think you know I was trying to
deconstruct why I think run clubs have
become so popular and I think that a big
chunk of it is that non weird
opportunity to stand around before and
after and talk like it's a
a it's like a social club masquerading
as a fitness Pursuit yeah and uh it
gives people the legitimacy to go and do
something because if it was just let's
meet up in the park and stand around for
a bit every feel weird but if it's
couched in we're going to get our 5K in
all right fine I guess I mean the 5K is
what 25 minutes of work [ __ ] all and
then people stand around again you go
okay well I can get her number and oh
she's amazing she's that chick from last
week she's got that sports bra on again
yeah and you're seeing the same people
consistently which also makes it way
easier good opener to use I feel like
I've seen you before my name is Blaine
like I've seen you here before you know
you leverage that anytime you've seen a
woman more than once as an opener that's
a great familiarity yeah yeah um but
yeah I love a run Club cuz also you're
weeding out people who don't have any
interest in health you know it's
like-minded people are going to go to a
you're up and awake in a park at 8:00
a.m. on a Saturday and someone else's
too you can probably tell quite a lot
about the way they they they didn't go
out last night unless they're hanging
they didn't go out last night uh they
probably care about their health they're
probably quite reliable theyve probably
got a relatively normal job mhm that's
pre- selection yeah and I I find so many
people are just getting over the
drinking culture and not wanting to just
meet people at bars or hang out at bars
or if we stand around in a park after
work then it's the expectation is
usually okay like there's drinking
involved or there's something to eat or
drink and that's not necessary to meet
people and I think a lot of people one
want to get off the ABS and then two
don't want to be drinking so things like
run clubs or pickle ball or rock
climbing are great with places to meet
people yeah CrossFit for me when I
started to doing CrossFit was outrageous
for dating yeah just cuz it's all it's
all coed yeah um a lot of the people
especially as dudes a lot of the dudes
that do CrossFit are already married
because it does quite take quite a lot
of uh dedication and it's kind of hard
and it's the sort of thing that a man
who feels like he's given up all of his
Pursuits in other areas of life would
decide to apply himself to yeah for 1
hour a day I can regain some control
when I don't have to change nappies or
you deal with [ __ ] from work or you know
take the bins out um so you actually
have although it's still probably it's
probably about 50/50 maybe sex ratio
maybe tiny little bit more skewed male
but when you actually look at the sort
of men that go and the sort of women
that go I think that you have more
unavailable men than you do unavailable
women and this means that from a i it
was an incredibly profitable few years
when I was uh doing CrossFit in the
northeast of the UK plus there's this
sort of inherent like high five culture
at the end of workouts there's
intermissions in between different
things there's usually some [ __ ]
about at the start there's some waiting
around at the end um you are training
between two and five times a week doing
classes so the consistency that you see
people with you don't have to wait one
whole week until run Club comes back
around again yeah I love all of those
points and even something that gets you
touching somebody like a fist bump or a
high five actually goes a really long
way to your point another one I love
that is so good is dancing salsa twostep
swing whatever kind of dance you're
interested in any of my clients who pick
up dance are like whoa talk about a good
market and like if you're authentically
into it and you're fun to dance with
even if you're a total beginner and
you're a single nice guy the girls are
going to be into it like there are way
less men than women dancing and women
want to dance with the fun single guy so
if you can be that guy your dance group
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