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How Standup Success Ruined Daniel Sloss’s Mental Health

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Daniel Sloss describes how his rapid rise to fame in his late teens and early twenties created a dangerous dependency on external validation, effectively preventing him from ever learning to love himself. Starting his career at seventeen and achieving significant success by age twenty, he toured relentlessly for nearly a decade, filling venues worldwide and writing new material every year. This constant cycle of performance meant that his self-worth was entirely derived from the approval of strangers; as long as thousands of people loved him daily, he felt no need to seek internal acceptance. Consequently, he dismissed mental health struggles like anxiety and dyslexia as fabricated issues for attention, believing that simply trying harder would solve them, a mindset that left him unprepared when his career faced challenges or when the noise of fame began to drown out his own identity. The turning point in his mental decline came during a tour where he performed a show addressing rape and sexual assault, a topic chosen to warn men about toxic masculinity while supporting survivors. However, the pressure to execute this sensitive material perfectly turned him into a rigid performer rather than a genuine comedian, forcing him to follow a specific script every night without room for spontaneity or authenticity. To cope with the fear of messing up and the exhaustion of reliving his own failures on stage, he escalated his substance abuse, drinking large amounts of whiskey and smoking weed nightly just to feel present. This addiction spiraled out of control during the pandemic when touring stopped, leading him to hide drugs in multiple rooms of his house to maintain access, illustrating how his coping mechanisms had become a full-blown problem that he struggled to admit or address until it was too late. Sloss reflects on the industry's culture that exploits comedians' insecurities by convincing them that their careers are over if they stop working while their momentum is high. Agents and promoters often discourage breaks, fearing a loss of relevance, which traps artists in a cycle of burnout where they must constantly perform to validate their existence. Even with massive success, including Netflix specials and sold-out shows across the globe, Sloss felt miserable because he had lost touch with who he was outside of his stage persona. He realized that the validation he received from audiences only lasted for forty-five minutes after a show ended, leaving him in a state of depression during long travel times and alone moments, leading him to question whether he truly hated himself or if he was simply living an exaggerated, distorted version of reality fueled by years of ruminating on his own perceived greatness. Ultimately, Sloss acknowledges that the material for his comedy often came from a broken inner monologue, creating a paradox where he knew something was wrong but continued to feed it because it produced successful shows. He admits that for years he believed he was one of the greatest comedians alive, a belief reinforced by an echo chamber of supporters who told him he was the best, yet this praise never fulfilled him and only deepened his misery. His path to healing involved confronting these distortions through psychedelic experiences like DMT and MDMA, which helped him stop ruminating on past failures and recognize that much of his previous self-perception was a lie. By finally accepting that his career ups and downs are natural parts of life and that he is allowed to take breaks, Sloss hopes to reclaim his identity as "Daniel" rather than just the character of Daniel Sloss, finding peace in a healthier relationship with himself and his art.
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hate yourself. >> And I didn't know I hated myself. >> How did you not What did you think you thought? >> I was successful so young. Yeah. >> Right. >> How young? >> So, started at 17, didn't have my first bomb until like 50 [ __ ] gigs in. Like I was good straight away. And because the audience doubted my ability, that gave when I was good, it gave all this extra stuff. I was hyped. I did my first bit of television when I was like 18, then I did 19, then and Jimmy Carr got me on 8 out of 10 Cats when I was [ __ ] 20. >> Tonight on 8 out of 10 Cats, NEW KID ON THE BLOCK, Daniel Sloss. >> And you know, I was the next big thing for a 15 [ __ ] years. Uh my shows were received well. I was touring the world. I very quickly realized that, you know, I didn't want a relationship cuz I was just working to [ __ ] as many people as I physically could. And my entire self-worth was always from the approval of strangers. And I had that in abundance. So, I never ever ever ever ever had to love myself because I was on every day. I would go out and thousands of people would love me. So, why would I ever need to love myself when the public loves me, when there's this every [ __ ] day? So, what and I, you know, I toured relentlessly for the, you know, for the first until I was about until COVID, I was touring 9 to 10 months of every year. I was writing a new show every year because that's the British standard. Every show I was doing was seemingly and somehow better than the last. And it was all going on Yeah, I didn't believe in anxiety. I thought it was like just a [ __ ] You know, I thought it was like a just a thing that sort of people made up for attention, the same with dyslexia. And then it's it's not real. Um it's dyslexia and being bi, just try harder. Um then then I did a show called X where I was talking about rape and sexual assault a lot. >> You about what? >> Rape and sexual assault. >> Great. >> Uh one of my friends was raped by one of my other friends. Uh and it was a sort of a show about like me sort of coming to terms with the fact that like I had this friend in my life for like 7 years who was this predator and like not it wasn't even as if there were no signs. There were signs but signs that I had sort of chose to ignore over the years and my own culpability during that. And when you talk about rape on stage it affects 50% of women. It affects 25% of men. When you talk about it on stage, you can instantly see instantly and anyone in the audience who's been affected by it >> Yeah. >> by the change in their body language. >> Yeah. >> And when you bring that up to people who are coming to see a comedy show, sometimes they're sat beside their parents, their partner, their siblings, their friends who don't know and the way and it was like I would see it every night. And I would talk to survivors after the >> What did you think like did you when you started to do the show were you like this will be interesting? Or was it >> No, it was like I I was just like >> I don't know. That's what I want to talk about. >> It was No, no. It was a show that me and my friend I was like look I want to I want to warn men. Like I was blindsided in a way but >> Warn men about their fact that their friends maybe. >> Yeah. I didn't want other men to be blindsided the way I was and I wanted but So I wanted to do a show that was for men to get men on side and sort of be like look I'm a bloke, I'm a lad, like I'm [ __ ] one of the boys. And I'm I I enjoy toxic masculinity. I thrive in it. Sometimes you can be that and also be a feminist. Ignore third wave, second wave, all this other [ __ ] [ __ ] Don't don't listen to the way Americans have ruined the word feminism in the same way they ruined the word socialism, right? They just they gaslit the world into thinking it meant something else. Feminism we I think we ruined gaslit as well. Feminism is just do you want the women in your life >> basic human rights >> Yeah, basic human rights. That's it. Ignore any of this [ __ ] Do you want the women in your life to be equal and safe? Then congratulations you're a feminist. Yeah, right. You are. And I what I wanted to do is sort of make that understand would you I say sex is misogynistic stuff all of that all the time. >> You've said bang women like five times already. >> It's you like you can you can be both. This idea this idea that the left goes oh no >> Yeah, if you you it's but words and [ __ ] >> no, no, no. You absolutely So I wanted to do a show for that, but I also wanted to do a show that was for survivors. Like I wanted to do a show where I'm talking about rape and sexual assault and I wanted to do a show that like people who have gone through that felt not attacked and felt empowered and felt like I was that I was doing rape jokes that survivors would laugh at. Like that's that's what I wanted to be. I didn't want it and thanks to the help of my friend thanks to lots of survivors who spoke to me after the show and you know, correct me along the way and gave me really good and honest feedback and you know, we sort of got to uh that point um I hated the show because like I had to do it in such a specific way. Like there was there was one route through the minefield and I knew how to get there. So I stopped being a comedian. I was a performer. I was an actor. I was doing the same show every night. There was no genuineness and so through a lot of that to like keep myself I guess like entertained on my toes I would drink a 3/4 of a bottle of whiskey on stage a night. I would smoke weeds while I was announcing myself onto stage just because like it was the only way for me to feel present was to be so scared of how [ __ ] up I was that I was like oh if I get this wrong and people notice how [ __ ] up I am then there'll be consequences and like I have to be super um present. And then also you know reliving my own failures every night. >> Within the show. >> And with you know >> Like the narrative of the show is your failing. >> Yeah. Um and so by the end of that tour all I want all I want is like a year off. All I want is to stop being Daniel Sloss. I just want to be Daniel. I just want to leave my house and I just want to be [ __ ] Daniel cuz I've not been Daniel since I was you know 16. And then COVID happened and I was like oh not like that. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> That that is that is what I had. This is such a monkey on my back. 500,000 people in >> Not like [laughter] millions. >> Oh. Yeah. Um and I you know I didn't handle going from being the center of attention to being the center of my own attention very well. My weed smoking went through the [ __ ] roof because there was nothing else to do. >> Do you like the way weed makes you feel? >> I convinced myself I did. >> And how would it make you feel? >> It would slow my brain down. >> Got it. >> Like it was I got a very busy brain and I I love weed and I don't want everyone to encourage anyone else from not [ __ ] smoking it. I personally have a problem with it and that's that I cannot stop smoking it. Uh so I I can't have it in >> You can't have it in the house and >> No. No cuz if I have it in the house I'll hide it in seven different rooms so I have constant access to it and the greatest the greatest thrill of being an addict is getting away with it. >> Yeah. >> When you're high everywhere and nobody notices, or do you have a problem? >> Yeah. >> Do you have a problem if nobody knows? If nobody knows >> And it probably plays into like a superiority complex of like you're so [ __ ] smart. Like sociologically you're on some next level [ __ ] >> like yeah, like you're high on all of these things and nobody >> These people are sober and like you're still smarter than all. Oh, buddy. >> [laughter] >> Oh, [ __ ] [ __ ] I can only imagine. >> Yeah. So, I started going to a therapy to just sort of because I had a lot of bitterness after that like tour towards my manager because like you know, it's it's all my responsibility, but like that tour should have ended eight months in. It should not have been extended to >> How long did it last? >> 18 months, uh 300 shows, 48 countries. Um and like there was part of the tour where I did a show in London, I got a taxi to an airport uh to get a flight to Tokyo to do one show, to get an overnight flight to Singapore to do one show, to get an overnight flight to Hong Kong to do one show, to get an overnight flight to Sydney to do 14 shows in 7 days, to then fly to Iceland. And like I had a lot of resentment towards how cuz look, I said yes to all those gigs, but I'm like your job as my manager is to look at that schedule and go this'll kill him. And it was killing me, you know. She saw the rider. >> But you liked I mean I I don't I generally don't buy like you did this to me. >> No, no. >> So, you wanted it, you love performing, you love being on top. >> If I stopped >> Who am I to tell another adult >> Yeah. Also, So I the the great fear that we have in this industry and the great fear that all of our agents and [ __ ] Netflix and Hollywood will all capitalize on is the insecurity of strike while the iron's hot. If you stop, this is over. And that is not true. >> Yeah. >> That's never true. If you're young and you're new and you're fresh, sure. If you stop, you might lose that momentum. There is absolutely a [ __ ] point in your career where you can stop for a little bit and you can take a huge [ __ ] breath. But anyone who's making money off you is not going to tell you that information. >> Yeah. >> They're not going to allow you to [ __ ] take that break. They need you to think that if you stop, this is all over. And it's you know, it's it's still an insecurity that I have and fear because you our careers are ups and downs and peaks and troughs. Momentum comes and it goes. >> Yeah. >> And there's times in your low moments where you remember your high moments where you're like, "Oh my god, maybe I'll never [ __ ] get that back." You will. When you start working again. >> Yeah. >> When you are actually able to apply yourself in a healthy way to do the job that you [ __ ] love, the greatest job in the world. >> Yeah. >> [snorts] >> And also like part of the [ __ ] bitterness and anger with I felt so I felt so cliche. All of my dreams have come to Two Netflix specials, changed my career overnight. I'm touring the world. I'm playing [ __ ] Russia. I'm playing [ __ ] India. I'm doing I'm doing everywhere. I'm 3,000 seats everywhere I go in the world. All of my dreams have come true. And I'm miserable every night. And I go, "Why am I [ __ ] >> miserable or are you drunk? Are you miserable because you're doing a script that you don't you're just because the type of show you're doing? What's Where's the misery coming from? >> My I don't have any moment to be myself. >> There's no Did you want to be yourself? >> I didn't know who I was. So but but so I I didn't know. >> Right. I I I'm I'm still uh still think this is all your fault. >> Yeah, of course it is. >> Okay. >> Yeah, this is this is buddy, absolutely. >> Okay. >> All of this falls >> Yeah. Yeah. >> This fear of loss of momentum, this loving the stage version of myself so much, taking the reverie from the [ __ ] audience and applying that to my own ego and my own narcissism, having that constant [ __ ] validation. May my I you know do I hate I thought I genuinely in my 20s thought I was one of the greatest stand-ups ever lived. >> Mhm. >> That was like really in my [ __ ] head. >> Yeah. >> And it meant so much to me and I believed it and nothing anyone else could have [ __ ] said would have convinced me otherwise. And then due and because it was being validated most nights. >> Yeah, cuz I'm in an echo chamber. >> Yeah, cuz I'm in the an echo chamber that unfortunately encapsulates the world. I go to a new territory, I find all the lefty liberals there, they come to a [ __ ] room, they tell me I'm the [ __ ] best and it >> [gasps] >> doesn't fulfill me. It doesn't you know, the joy lasts until like 45 minutes after the show, the second you walk off stage. And then during I mean there's no worse down track time than travel. It's just going to you know, standing ovation, 5,000 people, I'm in the same queue as all the other [ __ ] [ __ ] who have to take their belt off at the airport. >> Yeah. >> And I'm hungover. >> If you flew private, you wouldn't have that problem. >> You're really good. >> Yeah, if I was actually one of the best in the world. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Then I guess it would never stop, yeah. And I I I never I never realized that it was that I hated myself. I just thought it was that I you know, I don't know I don't know what I thought it was, but I just thought it was the the >> Well, I think you can I don't the problem with being a comedian is you you do get a lot of most of your material generation is from a distorted inner monologue. >> Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> So, it's a bit of a quandary because you're like, I know this is broken, but it does spit it is a bit of a golden goose where you're like, it is spitting out quality material. >> Yeah. >> Um so, do I hate myself? Do we all I I don't know. How much are we an exaggerated version of what most human beings are like? Or are we like a broken distorted human beings and >> I think I >> masquerade as normal or >> Well, I don't know. I guess I Tell me one thing you like about yourself. >> Um funny, smart, decent. >> You believe all those? >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] jealous. >> You don't believe any of it? >> No. I believe people think I'm smart. I believe people think I'm funny. And I believe people think I'm decent. >> I mean >> And it's because because of the show I'm able to put on. I'm not putting on a show. >> have you done? 9 hours so far? >> Uh 13. >> 13. Okay, so there's probably a good hour in there somewhere. >> [laughter] >> Just if we pan that thing out. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Like even you can't argue with it. That's what happens is you just it at a certain point you just go, I'm I I told somebody it's like the voice in my head lost credibility. >> Yeah. >> Where it's like, you're lying. You're lying. Like at a certain point you I can't catastrophize, I can't argue with like what's actually happened. >> I just keep looking at the sign over there that says unlicensed therapy and it's really >> [laughter] >> Uh no, I mean it No, but it is like what do you it's literally it's not true. It's just wrong. It's like literally like a shitty podcast where like [ __ ] Daniel Sloss [ __ ] barely sold it out. Why did it it didn't sell out till 3 days before when so-and-so >> But then this is all so >> Russell Howard, huh? Uh >> But this is the voice that gave me everything though. >> I agree. >> So why would I not >> You distort, you take the parts that What I realize I've I've do so much less ruminating than I used to. >> How? >> I mean honestly through drugs, but through ayahuasca, DMT, MDMA. But >> DMT. I'm scared of all the other ones. >> You don't need to be. If you've done DMT, that's you've done that. >> let me in. >> That's a longer conversation. Um there on DMT, there are entities in that wait in the lobby and they either let you in or not. I haven't even gotten there. I've done bufo which is jumps that whole area. >> Bufo these nuts? >> Uh Bufo uh It's like the super duper. >> Okay. >> Um but what I realized like and so now I don't ruminate that much and I'm like, "What did I used to do with my time?" I wasted [ __ ] decades ruminating. >> Yeah. >> And you get bits from it, but like the amount of You want to talk about signal and noise? The amount of [ __ ] noise and then you get like boop a a bit. So [music] anyhow, I hope I mean whatever. I wish it for you cuz it's it's significantly better. >> Hey. You should like and subscribe. >> [laughter]