Video summary
Daniel Sloss describes how his rapid rise to fame in his late teens and early twenties created a dangerous dependency on external validation, effectively preventing him from ever learning to love himself. Starting his career at seventeen and achieving significant success by age twenty, he toured relentlessly for nearly a decade, filling venues worldwide and writing new material every year. This constant cycle of performance meant that his self-worth was entirely derived from the approval of strangers; as long as thousands of people loved him daily, he felt no need to seek internal acceptance. Consequently, he dismissed mental health struggles like anxiety and dyslexia as fabricated issues for attention, believing that simply trying harder would solve them, a mindset that left him unprepared when his career faced challenges or when the noise of fame began to drown out his own identity.
The turning point in his mental decline came during a tour where he performed a show addressing rape and sexual assault, a topic chosen to warn men about toxic masculinity while supporting survivors. However, the pressure to execute this sensitive material perfectly turned him into a rigid performer rather than a genuine comedian, forcing him to follow a specific script every night without room for spontaneity or authenticity. To cope with the fear of messing up and the exhaustion of reliving his own failures on stage, he escalated his substance abuse, drinking large amounts of whiskey and smoking weed nightly just to feel present. This addiction spiraled out of control during the pandemic when touring stopped, leading him to hide drugs in multiple rooms of his house to maintain access, illustrating how his coping mechanisms had become a full-blown problem that he struggled to admit or address until it was too late.
Sloss reflects on the industry's culture that exploits comedians' insecurities by convincing them that their careers are over if they stop working while their momentum is high. Agents and promoters often discourage breaks, fearing a loss of relevance, which traps artists in a cycle of burnout where they must constantly perform to validate their existence. Even with massive success, including Netflix specials and sold-out shows across the globe, Sloss felt miserable because he had lost touch with who he was outside of his stage persona. He realized that the validation he received from audiences only lasted for forty-five minutes after a show ended, leaving him in a state of depression during long travel times and alone moments, leading him to question whether he truly hated himself or if he was simply living an exaggerated, distorted version of reality fueled by years of ruminating on his own perceived greatness.
Ultimately, Sloss acknowledges that the material for his comedy often came from a broken inner monologue, creating a paradox where he knew something was wrong but continued to feed it because it produced successful shows. He admits that for years he believed he was one of the greatest comedians alive, a belief reinforced by an echo chamber of supporters who told him he was the best, yet this praise never fulfilled him and only deepened his misery. His path to healing involved confronting these distortions through psychedelic experiences like DMT and MDMA, which helped him stop ruminating on past failures and recognize that much of his previous self-perception was a lie. By finally accepting that his career ups and downs are natural parts of life and that he is allowed to take breaks, Sloss hopes to reclaim his identity as "Daniel" rather than just the character of Daniel Sloss, finding peace in a healthier relationship with himself and his art.
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hate yourself.
>> And I didn't know I hated myself.
>> How did you not What did you think you
thought?
>> I was successful so young. Yeah.
>> Right.
>> How young?
>> So, started at 17, didn't have my first
bomb until like 50 [ __ ] gigs in. Like
I was good straight away. And because
the audience doubted my ability, that
gave when I was good, it gave all this
extra stuff.
I was hyped. I did my first bit of
television when I was like 18, then I
did 19, then and Jimmy Carr got me on 8
out of 10 Cats when I was [ __ ]
20.
>> Tonight on 8 out of 10 Cats, NEW KID ON
THE BLOCK, Daniel Sloss.
>> And you know, I was the next big thing
for a 15 [ __ ] years. Uh my shows were
received well. I was touring the world.
I very quickly realized that, you know,
I didn't want a relationship cuz I was
just working to
[ __ ] as many people as I
physically could. And my entire
self-worth
was always
from
the approval of strangers.
And
I had that in abundance. So, I never
ever ever ever ever had to love myself
because I was on
every day. I would go out and thousands
of people would love me. So, why would I
ever need to love myself when the public
loves me, when there's this every
[ __ ] day?
So, what and I, you know, I toured
relentlessly for the, you know, for the
first
until I was about until COVID, I was
touring 9 to 10 months of every year.
I was writing a new show every year
because that's the British standard.
Every show I was doing was seemingly and
somehow better than the last. And it was
all going on Yeah, I didn't believe in
anxiety. I thought it was like just a
[ __ ] You know, I thought it was like a
just a thing that sort of people made up
for attention, the same with dyslexia.
And then it's it's not real. Um it's
dyslexia and being bi, just try harder.
Um
then then I did a show called X where I
was talking about rape and sexual
assault a lot.
>> You about what?
>> Rape and sexual assault.
>> Great.
>> Uh one of my friends was raped by one of
my other friends.
Uh and it was a sort of a show about
like me sort of coming to terms with the
fact that like I had this friend in my
life for like 7 years who was this
predator and like not it wasn't even as
if there were no signs. There were signs
but signs that I had sort of chose to
ignore over the years and my own
culpability during that. And when you
talk about
rape on stage
it affects 50% of women. It affects 25%
of men. When you talk about it on stage,
you can instantly see instantly and
anyone in the audience who's been
affected by it
>> Yeah.
>> by the change in their body language.
>> Yeah.
>> And when you bring that up to people who
are coming to see a comedy show,
sometimes they're sat beside their
parents, their partner, their siblings,
their friends who don't know and the way
and it was like I would see it every
night. And I would talk to survivors
after the
>> What did you think like did you when you
started to do the show were you like
this will be interesting?
Or was it
>> No, it was like I I was just like
>> I don't know. That's what I want to talk
about.
>> It was No, no. It was a show that me and
my friend I was like look I want to
I want to warn
men.
Like I
was blindsided in a way but
>> Warn men about their
fact that their friends maybe.
>> Yeah. I didn't want other men to be
blindsided the way I was and I wanted
but So I wanted to do a show that was
for men to get men on side and sort of
be like look I'm a bloke, I'm a lad,
like I'm [ __ ] one of the boys.
And I'm I I enjoy toxic masculinity. I
thrive in it. Sometimes
you can be that and also be a feminist.
Ignore third wave, second wave, all this
other [ __ ] [ __ ] Don't don't listen
to the way Americans have ruined the
word feminism in the same way they
ruined the word socialism, right? They
just they gaslit the world into thinking
it meant something else. Feminism we I
think we ruined gaslit as well.
Feminism
is just do you want the women in your
life
>> basic human rights
>> Yeah, basic human rights. That's it.
Ignore any of this [ __ ] Do you want the
women in your life to be equal and safe?
Then congratulations you're a feminist.
Yeah, right. You are.
And I what I wanted to do is sort of
make that
understand would you I say sex is
misogynistic stuff all of that all the
time.
>> You've said bang women like five times
already.
>> It's you
like you can you can be both. This idea
this idea that the left goes oh no
>> Yeah, if you you it's but words and
[ __ ]
>> no, no, no. You absolutely So I wanted
to do a show for that, but I also wanted
to do a show that was
for survivors. Like I wanted to do a
show where I'm talking about rape and
sexual assault and I wanted to do a show
that like people who have gone through
that felt
not attacked and felt empowered and felt
like I was that I was doing rape jokes
that survivors would laugh at. Like
that's that's what I wanted to be. I
didn't want it
and thanks to the help of my friend
thanks to lots of survivors who spoke to
me after the show and you know, correct
me along the way and gave me really good
and honest feedback and
you know, we sort of got to
uh
that point um
I hated the show
because like I had to do it in such a
specific way.
Like there was there was one route
through the minefield and I knew how to
get there. So I stopped being a
comedian. I was a performer. I was an
actor. I was doing the same show every
night. There was no
genuineness and so through a lot of that
to like
keep myself I guess like entertained on
my
toes I would drink
a
3/4 of a bottle of whiskey on stage a
night. I would smoke weeds while I was
announcing myself onto stage just
because like
it was the only way for me to feel
present was to be so scared of how
[ __ ] up I was that I was like oh if I
get this wrong
and people notice how [ __ ] up I am
then there'll be consequences and like I
have to be super
um
present. And then also you know reliving
my own failures every night.
>> Within the show.
>> And with you know
>> Like the narrative of the show is your
failing.
>> Yeah. Um and so by the end of that tour
all I want
all I want is like
a year off. All I want is to stop being
Daniel Sloss. I just want to be Daniel.
I just want to leave my house and I just
want to be [ __ ] Daniel cuz I've not
been Daniel since I was
you know 16.
And then COVID happened and I was like
oh not like that.
>> Yeah. [laughter]
>> That that is that is what I had. This is
such a monkey on my back. 500,000 people
in
>> Not like [laughter] millions.
>> Oh.
Yeah.
Um
and
I you know I didn't handle going from
being the center of attention
to
being the center of my own attention
very well.
My
weed smoking went through the [ __ ]
roof because there was nothing else to
do.
>> Do you like the way weed makes you feel?
>> I convinced myself I did.
>> And how would it make you feel?
>> It would slow my brain down.
>> Got it.
>> Like it was I got a very busy brain
and I
I love weed and I don't want everyone to
encourage anyone else from not [ __ ]
smoking it. I personally have a problem
with it and that's that I cannot stop
smoking it.
Uh so I I can't have it in
>> You can't have it in the house and
>> No. No cuz if I have it in the house
I'll hide it in seven different rooms so
I have constant access to it and the
greatest the greatest thrill of being an
addict is getting away with it.
>> Yeah.
>> When you're high
everywhere and nobody notices,
or do you have a problem?
>> Yeah.
>> Do you have a problem if nobody knows?
If nobody knows
>> And it probably plays into like a
superiority complex of like you're so
[ __ ] smart.
Like sociologically you're
on some next level [ __ ]
>> like yeah, like you're high on all of
these things and nobody
>> These people are sober and like you're
still smarter than all. Oh, buddy.
>> [laughter]
>> Oh, [ __ ]
[ __ ] I can only imagine.
>> Yeah. So, I started going to
a
therapy to just sort of because I had a
lot of bitterness after that like tour
towards my
manager because like
you know, it's it's all my
responsibility, but like that tour
should have ended
eight months in.
It should not have been extended to
>> How long did it last?
>> 18 months, uh 300 shows, 48 countries.
Um and like there was part of the tour
where I did a show in London, I got a
taxi to an airport uh to get a flight to
Tokyo to do one show, to get an
overnight flight to Singapore to do one
show, to get an overnight flight to Hong
Kong to do one show, to get an overnight
flight to Sydney to do 14 shows in 7
days, to then fly to Iceland. And like I
had a lot of resentment towards how cuz
look, I said yes to all those gigs, but
I'm like your job as my manager is to
look at that schedule and go
this'll kill him. And it was killing me,
you know.
She saw the rider.
>> But you liked I mean I
I don't I generally don't buy like you
did this to me.
>> No, no.
>> So, you wanted it, you love performing,
you love being on top.
>> If I stopped
>> Who am I to tell another adult
>> Yeah. Also, So I
the the great fear
that we have in this industry
and the great fear that all of our
agents and [ __ ] Netflix and Hollywood
will all capitalize on
is the insecurity
of strike while the iron's hot. If you
stop, this is over. And that is not
true.
>> Yeah.
>> That's never true. If you're young and
you're new and you're fresh, sure. If
you stop, you might lose that momentum.
There is absolutely a [ __ ] point in
your career where you can stop for a
little bit and you can take a huge
[ __ ] breath.
But anyone who's making money off you is
not going to tell you that information.
>> Yeah.
>> They're not going to allow you to
[ __ ] take that break. They need you
to think that if you stop, this is all
over. And it's you know, it's it's still
an insecurity that I have and fear
because you our careers are ups and
downs and peaks and troughs. Momentum
comes and it goes.
>> Yeah.
>> And there's times in your low moments
where you remember your high moments
where you're like, "Oh my god, maybe
I'll never [ __ ] get that back."
You will.
When you start working again.
>> Yeah.
>> When you are actually able to apply
yourself in a healthy way to do the job
that you [ __ ] love, the greatest job
in the world.
>> Yeah.
>> [snorts]
>> And also like part of the [ __ ]
bitterness and
anger with I felt so I felt so cliche.
All of my dreams have come to Two
Netflix specials, changed my career
overnight. I'm touring the world. I'm
playing [ __ ] Russia. I'm playing
[ __ ] India. I'm doing I'm doing
everywhere. I'm 3,000 seats everywhere I
go in the world. All of my dreams have
come true.
And I'm miserable every night. And I go,
"Why am I [ __ ]
>> miserable or are you drunk? Are you
miserable because you're doing a script
that you don't you're just because the
type of show you're doing? What's
Where's the misery coming from?
>> My I don't have any moment to be myself.
>> There's no Did you want to be yourself?
>> I didn't know who I was. So but but so I
I didn't know.
>> Right. I I I'm I'm still uh still think
this is all your fault.
>> Yeah, of course it is.
>> Okay.
>> Yeah, this is this is buddy, absolutely.
>> Okay.
>> All of this falls
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> This fear of loss of momentum, this
loving the stage version of myself so
much,
taking the reverie from the [ __ ]
audience and applying that to my own ego
and my own narcissism, having that
constant [ __ ] validation.
May my I you know do I hate I thought I
genuinely in my 20s thought I was one of
the greatest stand-ups ever lived.
>> Mhm.
>> That was like really in my [ __ ] head.
>> Yeah.
>> And it meant so much to me and I
believed it and nothing anyone else
could have [ __ ] said would have
convinced me
otherwise.
And then due and because it was being
validated most nights.
>> Yeah, cuz I'm in an echo chamber.
>> Yeah, cuz I'm in the
an echo chamber that unfortunately
encapsulates the world. I go to a new
territory, I find all the lefty liberals
there, they come to a [ __ ] room, they
tell me I'm the [ __ ] best and it
>> [gasps]
>> doesn't fulfill me.
It doesn't you know, the joy lasts until
like 45 minutes after the show, the
second you walk off stage. And then
during I mean there's no worse down
track time than travel.
It's just going to you know, standing
ovation, 5,000 people,
I'm in the same queue as all the other
[ __ ] [ __ ] who have to take their
belt off at the airport.
>> Yeah.
>> And I'm hungover.
>> If you flew private, you wouldn't have
that problem.
>> You're really good.
>> Yeah,
if I was actually one of the best in the
world.
>> [laughter]
>> Yeah.
>> Then I guess it would never stop, yeah.
And I I I never I never realized that it
was that I hated myself. I just thought
it was that
I you know, I don't know I don't know
what I thought it was, but I just
thought it was the the
>> Well, I think you can I don't the
problem with being a comedian is you you
do get a lot of most of your
material generation is from
a
distorted inner monologue.
>> Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> So, it's a bit of a quandary because
you're like, I know this is broken, but
it does spit it is a bit of a golden
goose where you're like, it is spitting
out
quality material.
>> Yeah.
>> Um so, do I hate myself? Do we all I I
don't know. How much are we
an exaggerated version of what most
human beings are like? Or are we like a
broken distorted human beings and
>> I think I
>> masquerade as normal or
>> Well, I don't know. I guess I
Tell me one thing you like about
yourself.
>> Um funny, smart, decent.
>> You believe all those?
>> Yeah.
>> [ __ ] jealous.
>> You don't believe any of it?
>> No.
I believe people think I'm smart. I
believe people think I'm funny.
And I believe people think I'm decent.
>> I mean
>> And it's because because of the show I'm
able to put on. I'm not putting on a
show.
>> have you done? 9 hours so far?
>> Uh 13.
>> 13. Okay, so there's probably a good
hour in there somewhere.
>> [laughter]
>> Just if we pan that thing out.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> Like even you can't argue with it.
That's what happens is you just it at a
certain point you just go, I'm I I told
somebody it's like the voice in my head
lost credibility.
>> Yeah.
>> Where it's like, you're lying.
You're lying. Like at a certain point
you I can't catastrophize, I can't argue
with like what's actually happened.
>> I just keep looking at the sign over
there that says unlicensed therapy and
it's really
>> [laughter]
>> Uh no, I mean it
No, but it is like what do you it's
literally it's not true. It's just
wrong. It's like literally like a shitty
podcast where like [ __ ] Daniel Sloss
[ __ ] barely sold it out. Why did it
it didn't sell out till 3 days before
when
so-and-so
>> But then this is all so
>> Russell Howard, huh? Uh
>> But this is the voice that gave me
everything though.
>> I agree.
>> So why would I not
>> You distort, you take the parts that
What I realize I've I've do so much less
ruminating
than I used to.
>> How?
>> I mean honestly through drugs, but
through ayahuasca, DMT, MDMA. But
>> DMT. I'm scared of all the other ones.
>> You don't need to be. If you've done
DMT, that's you've done that.
>> let me in.
>> That's a longer conversation. Um
there on DMT, there are entities in that
wait in the lobby and they either let
you in or not. I haven't even gotten
there. I've done bufo which is jumps
that whole
area.
>> Bufo these nuts?
>> Uh
Bufo
uh It's like the super duper.
>> Okay.
>> Um but what I realized like and so now I
don't ruminate that much and I'm like,
"What did I used to do with my time?" I
wasted [ __ ] decades ruminating.
>> Yeah.
>> And you get bits from it, but like
the amount of You want to talk about
signal and noise? The amount of [ __ ]
noise and then you get like boop a a
bit.
So [music]
anyhow, I hope I mean whatever. I wish
it for you cuz it's it's significantly
better.
>> Hey.
You should like and subscribe.
>> [laughter]