Video summary
Rob Dyrdek recounts his journey to marrying a former Playboy model and Miss Queen of the World, framing it as a deliberate act of living with intention rather than chance. He explains that upon deciding he wanted a forever family, he fundamentally changed himself by refusing to date anyone for nine months while preparing to be worthy of the woman he desired. His path led him to her after seeing an interview where she expressed desires to swim with sharks and pet tigers; Dyrdek revealed in their direct messages that he had been attacked by both animals on purpose, identifying this shared experience as destiny before they ever spoke on the phone or met face-to-face. The couple's first meeting was orchestrated through a series of calculated yet spontaneous events designed to impress her without revealing his lack of prior contact. After she tweeted about puppies at risk in Dayton, Ohio—where Dyrdek noted he had been born and raised—he jokingly suggested flying there via helicopter to rescue them before they could be euthanized. Despite initial doubts because the story lacked a connection to Hawaii that he initially expected based on his past dating patterns, her grandmother's residence in Hawaii proved sufficient for him. The flight itself marked the beginning of their relationship, where she shared her inspiring backstory as a Make-a-Wish child who had been given six months to live due to a rare blood disease but was cured after swimming with dolphins and receiving experimental treatment. Dyrdek emphasizes that this magical origin story is secondary to the profound shift in his life philosophy regarding "forever." Meeting her anchored him, moving his focus from short-term business goals to building a sustainable family unit where their relationship remains the priority above all else. He describes a highly structured lifestyle built around maintaining high energy and connection, including daily conversations about their relationship status on a scale of one to ten, sharing detailed schedules with love quotes every morning, and adhering to specific rhythms for dates, grocery runs, and quality time together regardless of business demands or children's activities like karate and martial arts. To ensure the longevity and optimization of this dynamic, Dyrdek employs rigorous operational metrics similar to those used in his business ventures. He initially struggled with subjective perceptions of their relationship health, where she felt a "bad streak" for two weeks while he knew it was only three days; eventually, they implemented an email system to validate these feelings against objective data and prevent skewed perspectives. This disciplined approach extends beyond romance to personal habits like exercise and diet, illustrating his belief that one must actively design their life rather than hoping things happen naturally. He concludes that continuous reflection, assessment, and optimization are essential for evolving into the ideal version of oneself and maintaining an extraordinary family environment amidst a changing world.
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you mentioned your wife a couple of
times today you're married to a Playboy
model who won Queen of the Earth or
something Queen of the world queen of
the world this is Mrs Queen in the world
I could cry thinking about it again Mrs
Queen of the world what's the story of
how you started dating her
yeah I mean look you know I'm for me it
was
you know I had you know in that
beginning moment of like really living
with intention and I decided like okay I
I am someone that believes they are
meant to be with someone forever build a
family
um and so for me I truly
like
um decided what I needed to do was
change who I was but in this era
you know like I decided like you have to
become the person
that uh the person you want to be with
forever will will respect and be with
who become the person that they would
want to be with essentially and then
then and then I went on like a journey
of absolutely like like not hooking up
with chicks telling all my friends like
hey like I'm just waiting I'm just
waiting when I
um
when when she appears I'm Gonna Be Ready
like I'm gonna be able to tell her I've
been waiting haven't hooked up with
anybody like waiting and I'm at the nine
month Mark like
I'm
like saw her Playboy uh thing and was
like this is my wife right and of course
you're saying well of course you know
you know like everybody says that when
they they see uh you know they see this
beautiful stunning girl in in and uh
play but they're like oh of course right
so I was immediately this is my wife
right and when I pictured like okay this
is perfection from a beauty standpoint
but she had this interview where she
talked about
um she wanted to swim with sharks she
wanted to pet a tiger
and um I thought to myself well shoot
I've been attacked by both of those
um this this right here this is Destiny
right so
I DM her right and we start uh talking
in DM and I say hey you know I think I
could be a great life coach for you uh
because you want to
um swim with sharks and pet a tiger I've
actually been attacked by both of them
on purpose and so we we begin to talk
and you know I'm already I haven't even
talked on the phone we're just now moved
to text and
and so I'm already convinced like this
is my wife like I I did it like I I
changed myself I look I changed myself
um like I was patient and now nine
months later we are here right let all
my friends know I met her at work the
universe provided
um later that week okay we're just
texting she tweets about Dayton Ohio
right and I'm like who why did you tweet
about Dayton Ohio she's like oh my my
brother and mother lived there right now
of course Dayton Ohio is where I was
born and raised and my whole family
lives right so now I'm like what her
mother and brother live in Dayton Ohio
this is my wife okay and so still
haven't even spoke still have never even
spoke on the phone this is just over
text and
um so we decide like okay let's let's uh
get together so you to get together on
Friday she's like sure what do you want
to do I got to be impressive this is my
wife I gotta take it to another level
she had just tweeted
um you know about this kennel that was
essentially shutting down and they were
you know getting all the puppies away
and all the puppies that that people
didn't adopt would end up like getting
euthanized potentially right and so I I
said you know so my idea was like hey
let's go and look at some puppies as a
first date right is sort of what I
wanted to do but it turns out that was
two and a half hours away
and I'm like oh man we can't drive to go
do that so as a joke I said what do you
think about grabbing a helicopter and
flying out to the kennel and rescuing
some puppies and
like a half hour later she's like great
and I'm like what and so I had to go
figure out sort through and get a
helicopter still never spoke to her on
the phone
and so I'm
I was convinced now okay this is my wife
and and for some reason or for the last
15 years every person that I like was
sort of connected with always had a
connection to Hawaii
and so I was convinced I was meant to
marry somebody with a connection to
Hawaii
and so as I was driving to pick her up
hoping that this was an episode of
Catfish since we never facetimed never
even talked on the phone nothing
um I kept telling myself forget about
Hawaii
forget about Hawaii why do you care like
she's she's gorgeous like you know her
parents are from Ohio like this is meant
to be uh picked her up it wasn't a
catfish she got in the car first
question I asked do you have any
connection to Hawaii and she's like
well
uh you know my grandmother lives there
uh right now my sister lives there with
her and I'm like
perfect this is my wife right so now I'm
like I mean I don't even I don't I'm
like you know it's not like the Deep
connection I had hoped for but good
enough and so we take off we go and get
in this helicopter and we're flying
across California on our way to rescue
some puppies and we just start talking
you know I'm trying to be impressive and
like you know but also like you know I'm
like you know I got my stuff together
you know I've really been working on
myself to like really you know you know
whatever just trying to you know like
not blow it you know what I mean but you
know be cool but not too cool and
she begins to tell me her background her
story and you know we're just talking
and then she shares with me
um that she was a Make-a-Wish child that
she had a rare blood disease when she
was 10 years old and was given six
months to live
and so make a wish granted her a wish
and her final wish was to swim with
dolphins and make a wish granted her
wish and flew her to Hawaii where she
swam with dolphins and when she
um
swam with those Dolphins she told
herself I'm not going to let myself die
like I want to experience stuff like
this for the rest of my life they went
back they offered her an experimental
treatment which ended up putting her in
remission and curing her
indefinitely right and so for me right
then then I was like whoa this is my
wife you know and so as incredible and
beautiful as that is right you know got
all the makings of an a a storybook and
an episode of Bachelor all in one
the reality of our relationship and what
she gave me is so beyond
so beyond just that magical story
because
what we became and what she gave me was
forever she my shifted from looking at
like what was next and how do I build
this business in life but like what does
Forever look like because now I really
see like who I'm going to build a life
with and why I want to realize my
potential to realize it for us and like
want to have a family with and that
became the anchor of what really allowed
me to begin to evolve and and and find
the success that I was able to to find
and I I have never once you know in this
you know 10 years and eight years of
marriage even like wavered on ever
trying to continuously do everything to
to continue to make our relationship
better and better and put our lives at
the Forefront of everything in our when
we had kids put the kids at the front
like every continue with kids to put our
relationship at the front and you know
not only have a movie tonight and a
breakfast date tomorrow and uh Friday
night uh pasta and Saturday with the
kids and karate and going to the fair
and then uh martial arts with the kids
on Sunday and going to the movie again
like it's just my whole life is is built
around keeping our family and home and
relationship at the highest level and
part of that is like
um qualitatively asking her having a
conversation every day how she feels
um about
the relationship and yesterday I got a
three yesterday I got a three you know
what I mean and like I it's still like a
conversation and I know like it was
because I shot that day then I had these
you know some a couple of heavy big
business meetings that are business
calls that were more ad hoc than part of
the Rhythm right because every day I
send her my schedule of what I'm doing
that entire day with a love quote so she
has complete visibility on what my day
flow is and where where we will spend
time together and then ultimately
um
so I don't choose something over her I.E
when we're supposed to be watching a
show together and then I go do this call
for 30 minutes uh because I have to gets
me a three you know but I'm you know
deeply aware that I'm I'm treading on
disrupting the flow of what it is but
you know it's it's I've trailed off into
how we how I support that relationship
but again it's a beautiful beginning but
ultimately you know you don't have an
extraordinary relationship and an
amazing family and home by just doing it
in between all of the other stuff you do
like you have to design it with
intention and then you have to
continually optimize it because you're
changing your wife's changing your kids
are changing your needs are changing all
of this stuff is is moving and evolving
on this continuous basis so you have to
continually be setting and resetting and
optimizing it towards energy right
because that you just want that high
energy in your house between you and
your spouse the people you work with
every interaction that you have that's
really what you're chasing and on all
levels of your life that requires a
continual assessment and optimization
because everything is changing always
how did you get your wife to buy into
this very optimized objective metrics of
a relationship process was there ever
any issues with trying to get this so
operationalized well I I think she sees
the benefits of it right like especially
the rhythm of existence and how we even
run our household with and how we you
know each week we have a family sink
with all the assistance and everything
and the rhythm of the house and how we
Run Grocery systems in here and and just
sort of the you know first it was two
dates a week and then that wasn't enough
like she felt like and she's seen the
system like slowly get optimized to
where she's happier and and feeling more
loved and feeling feeling that energy
and balance in herself so she's just
seen the output of it and and and now
the belief has been built right and and
think about it you don't necessarily
have I'm not asking her to hey send me
your rating today
we have a conversation about it right so
so it's like I used to try all different
types of things of of asking her and and
then I I would email and email me any
notes like then it's like I don't want
to email you then it was like then it
was a it was really funny like one year
it was like I we we started the
conversation and then she would feel
that like it's been a bad streak for
like two weeks and I'd be like no it's
actually only been like three days it
feels like two weeks and then she would
be like that Dad is like you skewed the
data you know what I mean like you know
it was like and so then I had to like
then send an email of the number so that
it was validated so that like you so
that there was no even more independent
record of what happened that's it and so
you know to me all that did was continue
to build belief in the system but when
you think about the beauty of
qualitative data it's just it's just a
higher level of awareness this because
you've got to you've got to spend the
time to reflect and ask yourself how you
feel about anything in order to pull the
insights that you need in order to make
it better and evolve it right because if
you just hope it happens naturally
you're never going to guide it or
control it you want to control your
Evolution and in every part of you and
every relationship and everything in
your life is evolving and that's where
just asking yourself and using that
qualitative awareness allows you to
reflect because you have to reflect in
order to even assess something to decide
what should I change or evolve to even
make it better right and most people
forget about like being disciplined to
work out or eat right now you haven't
worked out for a week you feel terrible
you you look at yourself in the middle
you're mad at yourself so you have a
glass of wine because you had a long
crazy day and end up binging Netflix
till 10 30 then get a bad night sleep
then wake up late now and now I gotta
get all this stuff done it's like you're
just fighting through all of that uh let
alone trying to get to some reflective
Insight that's going to evolve you and
make you better you never even take the
time to be like okay what can I do to
get out of this rut you know what I mean
what what can I change in my overall
life that has to be the core operating
uh sort of piece of your flow in order
to continually and rapidly get better
and better at becoming the ideal version
of yourself what's happening people if
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