Video summary
The podcast discussion centers on the significant role height plays in romantic attraction, with a primary focus on women's preferences for men rather than vice versa. The speakers analyze data from diverse sources, including speed dating studies, online dating app swiping behaviors, and responses to advertisements, which collectively suggest that adding inches greatly increases a shorter man's attractiveness up to a specific point. This preference curve is described as resembling a "candy cane," where the jump in desirability between being 5'4" and 5'8" represents moving from a disadvantageous position to an acceptable one. However, after reaching approximately 6'1", the returns on additional height diminish significantly. The data indicates that while men around 6'3" to 6'5" are viewed as optimal or near-optimal, heights exceeding 6'6" do not necessarily confer further benefits and may even become less ideal compared to being slightly shorter but still tall. A notable anecdote shared during the conversation involves a man who is actually 6'6" claiming to be only 6'5" on dating apps because he fears that his actual height scares women away, illustrating how extreme heights can sometimes be perceived negatively despite statistical advantages. The speakers also address the common intuition that women simply want men taller than themselves; instead, they argue that women are often looking for a man who is taller than their peers and social circle rather than just taller than them personally. This context explains why individuals in environments surrounded by very tall people might feel disadvantaged even if they meet average height standards elsewhere. The discussion highlights the disparity between stated preferences and actual behavior on dating platforms, noting that men frequently inflate their heights while some extremely tall men may understate theirs to avoid intimidation factors. The conversation then shifts to women's own mating market challenges, introducing the concept of the "tall girl problem." While evolutionary psychology suggests a slight preference for average or moderately shorter partners among men, very educated and wealthy women face unique difficulties in dating due to socioeconomic dynamics. Research indicates that richer and more educated women are generally less likely to be divorced and have better relationship outcomes overall, yet they often struggle with the "hype" of finding suitable male partners who match their status. The speakers theorize that this is partly because men's educational attainment has been declining relative to highly educated women, making it harder for them to find peers or superiors on a hierarchy. Consequently, there is an emerging trend where these high-status women are becoming more willing to date "hypogamous" partners—men with lower socioeconomic status but who possess other desirable traits like being attractive or skilled in their trade. The speakers debate the implications of relationships between highly educated women and men from different socioeconomic backgrounds, weighing whether such unions face inherent instability due to power imbalances or if they are simply more resilient because these women feel empowered to leave unsatisfactory situations. One speaker expresses skepticism about the idea that tallness is a curse for wealthy women, arguing instead that their relationship outcomes improve over time as societal norms shift toward accepting hypogamous pairings. The dialogue touches on broader themes of modern dating market distortions, such as "height inflation" where men exaggerate their stature online, and contrasts these with the reality of physical attributes versus socioeconomic status in determining long-term compatibility. Ultimately, the discussion concludes that while height is a powerful initial filter for women's attraction to men, it interacts complexly with education, wealth, and social context to shape modern dating landscapes.
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what role does height play in attracting
men and women for men and women yeah
it's interesting well I think that let's
let's get men out of the way let's let's
get the you know since just like the
blue pilled cck that you are let's get
men out of the way and get onto women
we're in good we're in good company yeah
yeah yeah
no the well this is this is one of the
things that I say where people are like
he's blackpilled and it's like okay
that's I'm I'm so upset that that's the
if you can if you can manage to thread
the needle between all of the pills at
once if you can be bigoted and cooked in
the same podcast that means that you're
doing something right okay sure and
you've managed to do both so far so yeah
oh what a disaster that's um yeah so I'm
I'm upset as long as you know everyone's
upet as long as extremists on both sides
and you know reasonable people uh so
well height actually I think that I
don't think I'm going to say anything
particularly surprising every inch that
if you're a shorter guy every inch that
you add and this is based on a couple of
different data sets I'm not just looking
at one study here
uh you know looking at things like just
women's stated preferences uh women in
speed dating studies women in dating app
swiping right dating app filters as well
as response to you know online ads for
you know like I'm single that kind of so
there's a bunch of different evidence
that women like a very tall man who is
not too very tall right so if you graft
women's height preferences it would look
kind of like a candy cane right where
it's like if
you're if you're very short then adding
a few inches really increases your
attractiveness like the difference
between being 5'4 and 5'8 that's a big
deal right that's that's going from a
bit of a problem to actually probably
not that much of a
problem then it starts to taper off
around 6' one right so it's like you're
getting every inch is sick and then
around 6'1 it starts to taper off which
is hilarious because you know the
average height of American men I think
it's about 5'9 and on dating apps I
think it's about 6'1 I I'll have to
double check that which is just
ridiculous height inflation is such a
disaster y I'm considering getting leg
extensions just cuz not height flation
and whole flation the two the two
maladies of 2024 yeah so the once you
get to around 6'1 you start to get kind
of diminishing returns per inch and that
seems to settle down around 6' 3 6 fo3
to 6 fo5 there seems to be about you
know even it doesn't seem like being
maybe 6 fo five is is better maybe it's
not but it doesn't seem to be that big
of a deal whether you're 6' 3 6'4 6' 5
then around 6' 6 6' 7 6'8 that's when
it's like okay this is definitely not
optimal right this is not ideal but
again it's like a candy cane so it comes
down but you're still better off being
like basketball player tall than being
5' 10 right and it's interesting because
this this data converges with a very
funny anecdotal experience I know one of
the only men ever to lie about his
height on a dating app to make himself
shorter uh he's 6 foot6 and he claims
that he's 6 fo five because he's like
six fo six just scares him away to be
honest like looking up if you're a 5
foot6 chick like what do you know about
anything over 6 feet tall you can't even
reach 6 feet tall like you don't know
what's up there you can't you can't get
up there well one thing that one thing
that is interesting though is that it's
not so a lot of people think and this is
the intuition is like they want a man
who's taller than themselves and it's
like they want a man who's taller than
average so it's not that they're looking
up and saying oh that's that's a lot
taller than me is that they're looking
at you and looking at the guys around
you and they're like oh he's the tallest
one that's all of my [ __ ] friends in
Austin are tall super annoying yeah
super D well you're quite tall you're a
little taller than average yeah so five
510 and a half I think technically if I
was if I was posting it on a black pill
Forum but all of my friends my
housemates 6'4 another one of my friends
is 64 another one of my friends is 6'2
so if I ever have to use a dating app
I'm 6'4 and I'm showing up in stilt [ __ ]
it um all right so that's for men height
I I saw and I've cited this a bunch that
the average preference in diff
difference
between men for women is 21 cm taller
and women for men is 16 cm shorter this
hold is this similar to any of the stuff
you know yeah that's it that yes so that
that sounds about right got it right
baby [ __ ] bro signs for the win yeah
it's a I believe that was actually a
speed dating study that you're ref ining
if you're talking about the same one
where it was like what height was
optimal and they interpret it as a ratio
right where men prefer somewhat shorter
and women prefer significantly taller
men's preferences are are are kind of
more interesting than women's but
they're also so much slighter that it's
almost not worth talking about them but
we can uh it seems to be that men prefer
women who are about average height or
maybe a moderate amount shorter than
themselves it's kind of unclear why and
I think that a combination of factors
a it's a slight preference but I would
say that a combination of factors make
it such that tall women and I say this
as someone who's dating a you know
absolutely lovely very beautiful but
also very tall woman um tall women I
think have it hardest just on the mating
Market from a hype perspective why I
called it the tall girl problem yeah I
heard you say that to was that to
Candace actually said it I I sh that
theory I've only come up with two cool
names in all of evolutionary psychology
tall girl problem and male sedation hyp
is but I'm [ __ ] at science great at
meing so I I play toward my strengths
I'll have to talk to you afterwards and
tell you some of the theories that I'm
working on testing and um too problems
about socioeconomics not about height
yeah I heard you talk about it in that
context but it works in terms of height
because well two things happen right one
is that and it might be similar to the
socioeconomic situation although one
thing that's interesting right and it's
worth kind of as a supplement to the
modeling work so Candace's modeling work
obviously a super cool study very
interesting
but then it's like well richer women are
more married and less divorced more
educated women are more married and less
divorced than less educated and so it's
like this whole kind of meme of like oh
care you know careful ladies the the
Richer you get the harder it's going to
be for you to date it's like okay Theory
fine modeling fine practice they're
doing better than the rest of the women
I would be very interested to look at
that longitudinally over the next 10
years I I think it's going to get even
better for them and the reason I think
that is because we're what we're seeing
in Europe is that women are becoming
more and more willing to date hypogamous
so we're seeing much more of these
patterns where women who are super
educated are like you know what sexy
plumber sexy firefighter let's let's
have it have you looked at the
relationship outcomes for those
relationships longevity satisfaction
well this is something we can talk about
as well I mean in in the west we see
that there's that these you know these
relationships with the women make
more you know maybe are more likely to
have issues but there's a real question
of like is that just I mean this would
be my first gut reaction is it's like
well they can they feel they can leave
right well I mean look so this is um I I
love the those are the two ideas right
it's preferences or they feel they can
leave so I love the tall girl problem I
think that it explains an awful lot from
and the reason that I came up with it
originally was I wanted to explain to
educated Andor wealthy women that were
struggling to date that they weren't
personally cursed that their preference
on average for men that are as Wealthy
on more and as educated or more means
that it amounts to a diminishing return
if you're standing at top you're on
hierarchy it's very difficult to look
above and across the next one especially
when that one is slowly kind of sipping
and sipping and sipping because men are
becoming less educated precisely correct
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