How Does a Single Mom in the U.S. Become a Student of Sacred Islamic Knowledge?

Duration: 7:17 1321 transcript words EN summary

Video summary

The video addresses the heartfelt dilemma faced by a single mother in the United States who balances parenting her children and caring for her aging parents while feeling guilty about not yet becoming a formal student of Islamic knowledge. She describes herself as part of the "sandwich generation," managing a full household alone after completing an online MBA, and struggles with the question of whether she should wait until her children are older to pursue religious studies or if there is a viable path for busy parents today. Her anxiety stems from waking up daily wondering why she has not yet achieved this spiritual goal, despite her best efforts to manage everything at home. In response, the speakers offer profound reassurance by reframing the concept of being a student of knowledge. They explain that formal enrollment in a seminary or obtaining a certificate is not the only way to gain knowledge; rather, sincere engagement with brilliant scholars online and consistent, albeit small, daily efforts are highly valued. One speaker emphasizes that knowledge ultimately comes from Allah, who grants openings in the heart based on sincerity and sacrifice rather than the quantity of time spent. He notes that many people spend years studying without gaining much, while others who study for just fifteen minutes a day amidst fatigue and chaos receive immense blessings because Allah sees their true state and dedication. The discussion further highlights that the primary obligation for every Muslim is fulfilling the *fard 'ayn*, which includes basic acts like prayer and ablution, while all other advanced studies are supplementary. The speakers urge mothers and fathers to recognize that their greatest service to Allah is being a dedicated parent and spouse, as this role itself is a form of worship. They encourage setting lofty intentions now, trusting that Allah will facilitate these goals in His perfect timing, whether in five years or ten. By making good intentions today, one ensures that the desire for knowledge remains alive until Allah makes it possible to pursue it formally when life circumstances allow. Practically, the video concludes by introducing resources designed specifically for busy individuals, such as asynchronous courses offered by educational institutes like Fawakih Education. These programs allow students to learn at their own pace while still connecting with qualified scholars whenever needed, effectively removing the barrier of rigid schedules. The overarching message is one of compassion and flexibility: a single mother does not need to wait until her children are older to begin her journey; she can start immediately through self-paced learning, trusting that Allah honors even the smallest consistent efforts made with pure intention in the midst of daily responsibilities.

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Bismillah. I'm sorry, it's the end of the day, so I'm trying to formulate my question. Um So, I guess my question is more It is more of like a thick question, but um I'm in a situation where I'm the sandwich generation, so I'm taking care of I'm doing the best that I can to do everything at home, and I'm parenting by myself. Um but for 7 years, I wake up every morning. Sometimes I wake up before Fajr um thinking I'm I'm not um why am I not still a not a student of knowledge yet? Um and it really bothers me. Um but at the same time, I have my kids, I have my parents, um and if I'm not at home at a certain time, um it gets really rough cuz I take care of everything. So, um I barely finished my MBA online. I am not an online student. Um but I will try my best. So, I guess my question is should I wait till my kids are older? Do they have a right over me more cuz I am the only parent in their life? Um and then wait to be a student of knowledge till they're older? Um or is there is it structured online very well that I could do it online or is there um part-time that is close to Pleasanton uh that if you guys know has a good time, I guess. Does that That's my question. Jazakallah khair. >> Yeah, I think we'll have other people jump in inshallah and Imam Bassel is is special because he's an Imam. I don't think anyone else here is any or any mom any Imam yet, so inshallah we'll we'll give him the mic after, but uh to answer your question at least start to attempt it. When I started to think about doing my studies at the seminary that I'm at, I also had these concerns and these fears and I was like, is this the right time? Should I be doing this right now? I'm still in the beginning of my career. I'm still trying to get make sure that's solid. I'm still trying to, you know, I'm in the first couple of years of my marriage. That's been a journey. Is now the right time? And you know, my wife told me that life has seasons, right? There's different seasons and right now is the season for for me right now the season is not we don't have kids. I have a lot of time that I'm going to be filling scrolling on Tik Tok and doing other things, right? So if I have my seminary and my studies, it's going to fill that time and structure it. And so it's really that self-evaluation. I think Sidi Ahmed said everybody has to know themselves, right? And my response to you sister is that inshallah you know, maybe now is not the time. Maybe. And your kids will get older and then that will be the time and they'll be older, they'll be doing their thing and you'll have all the time you want in the world to study and you'll be able to fit it in. Allahu Alam, but we all have to just analyze our own lives, analyze ourselves and see what season we fall into. But Imam Bassam, if you have anything. >> Second of all, that was uh beautiful response, masha Allah. Two things I'll add and if anybody else wants to contribute to this answer. Um One is that sometimes we have this conception of like a student of knowledge being somebody who is like formally enrolled in a particular type of program or class. While that is true that that is how you seriously gain knowledge, but based on the place in your life that you're at, it doesn't mean that if you can't enroll in a formal program right now that you are cut off from knowledge. Alhamdulillah with the internet, we have access to brilliant scholars, very grounded scholars online. And it doesn't have to be things that are uh you know, working towards a particular certificate or whatever whatever the case might be. It might be slowly building up your knowledge. And I I will after this I apologize I will ask Abu Muhammad to uh comment because I know Busayra has a lot of good courses that are self-paced and designed for people who are very busy. And so I'll ask him to comment on that a little bit. But that's the first thing. The second thing is sometimes we misunderstand where knowledge comes from. Knowledge comes from Allah. Allah grants us those openings in our heart. And so it actually doesn't matter how much time we're spending. It actually depends on our sincerity and the fact that we're being consistent for Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala's sake. This is something that my teacher told me. She said specifically there are people who spend years studying and they get nothing out of it. Or they lose it within months. But then there are people who spend very little time consistently for a very long time. People who go to medical school and are doing residency with a family and children and they're taking classes a little bit at a time. But that little bit at a time that they're doing or the little bit of study they're doing at a time, Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala sees the sincerity of that person, the sacrifice of that person. That little bit, 5, 10, 15, 30 minutes of the day. That's it. And Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala sees the exact state you are in when that happens. So the tiredness, the fatigue mentally, uh spiritually, physically, you're just tired. You have children running around keeping you busy. Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala sees that. And Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala gives the knowledge and opens the doors as he sees fit. It's all a gift from Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala. I'll ask Abu Muhammad to comment further. >> Jazakallah Khairan. I just want to say one thing that I don't want anyone, especially uh mothers or fathers to think that because we're up here talking about some books we've read and some classes we've taken that you're deficient in any way for not pursuing a formal education. The knowledge that's obligatory upon you is the fard ayn. It's how to pray, how to make your wudu. That's it. Everything else is extra. But like I said, my my first I'm first and foremost a father and a and a and a and a husband. And you are first and foremost a mother to your children. And that is the greatest thing you can do in your day. After praying to Allah, that's the greatest thing you can do in your day. Secondly, uh the teachers, especially in Hadramaut and Tarim, they always encouraged us to make like lofty intentions. They said that we are where we are because of the intentions we made 30 years ago. So make intentions to Allah and believe that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will realize and actualize those intentions. If it's not now, in 10, in 5 years, who Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will facilitate your intentions. But make good intentions. And now at a practical level, yes, we do I am I work kind of full-time with Fawakih Education. It's like an educational institute online that has a lot of these asynchronous courses that allow you to study at your own pace, but then also connect with uh qualified scholars at the same time uh whenever you do want uh whenever you want to. So inshallah, uh I'll get your your email and I'll add you to all the courses that are uh that are important. And uh inshallah, that can be a resource for you. Uh Yeah, inshallah.