Help! My Parents Won't Let Me Wear Hijab | Ustadha Dr. Haifaa Younis
Watch on YouTubeVideo summary
A young woman from a Muslim country approached the speaker with a heartfelt plea for help regarding her desire to wear the hijab, which her parents have forbidden. Despite coming from a family of Muslims, she feels torn between her personal faith and her parents' wishes, asking what course of action she should take. The speaker acknowledges the immense courage it takes for such a young person, likely around sixteen or seventeen years old, to publicly voice this struggle, noting that this is a significant phenomenon where youth are forced to make difficult decisions about their religious identity against parental opposition.
The speaker emphasizes that wearing the hijab is an obligation clearly established in the Quran and Sunnah, urging parents to reflect deeply on why they might be blocking their children from obeying Allah. She challenges these parents to consider what they will answer to God on the Day of Judgment when asked why they prevented a young soul from growing up in obedience to Him. The core message is that believers should not compromise their faith (deen) for worldly concerns (dunya), as there is no logical reason to allow children freedom in secular settings like beaches or clubs while denying them the spiritual protection and identity provided by the hijab.
To address fears regarding social acceptance or professional success, the speaker shares her own experience as a practicing obstetrician and gynecologist who wore the hijab before and after September 11th without facing discrimination in her medical training or career. She recounts how she was initially told she would not be hired by some institutions solely because of her headscarf, yet she remained steadfast in trusting that Allah would provide for her needs. Furthermore, she points out successful examples of hijab-wearing women who have graduated from prestigious universities like Harvard and served in high government positions, proving that faith does not hinder achievement.
Ultimately, the speaker encourages the young woman to proceed with wearing the hijab even if her parents say no, assuring her that Allah will never let her down. She expresses deep sadness that parents would allow their daughters to engage in worldly activities while preventing them from fulfilling a religious duty, urging everyone to stand firm in their faith. By offering her phone number to support the girl, she reinforces the message that one should not fear standing alone in obedience to God, as divine support is always available for those who seek it with sincerity.
Read the full video transcript
A very young woman who just came
approached me and said, "Please read
this question in the question answer."
So, she wanted everyone to hear it. And
I'm so glad she had the courage to write
it and to ask to be read in public. I am
from a Muslim country.
And my parents are Muslims.
And my parents are Muslims, too.
I want to wear hijab and be covered,
but my parents don't want me to do that.
What should I do?
I'll read it again because I wanted to
pierce your heart.
I'm from a Muslim country. This is a 17
16, I don't think she is older than
that.
I'm from a Muslim country. And my
parents are Muslim.
And I want to wear hijab.
And my parents does not want me to do
that.
Subhanallah.
This is a real phenomena. That's a
youth, a she who wants to do the most
difficult decision any woman
will do. And those of you who wear
hijab, you know what I'm talking about.
I would love to talk to the parents
afterward in private if you are in the
audience. So, we don't expose people.
But I want them to ask themselves these
two questions. Why don't you want her to
do that?
What you will tell Allah Subhana Wa
Ta'ala on the day of judgment when he
will ask you?
And he said, "Why did you be in her
path to obey me?" Hijab is an
obligation, my brothers and sisters.
Call it what you want to call it, get
excuses what you want to do, but it's
fact.
It's there. It's in the Quran. It's in
the Sunnah. It is there.
Why don't I want this young soul,
beautiful heart, to grow up
with the obedience of Allah?
What will she lose
if she had her hijab on?
When are we going to be moving past this
feeling that if I am a practicing
Muslim, then I am not be able to
achieve?
And if I can ask anyone in this room,
especially the sisters, I can some I
know you very well. Those of you who
don't know me, I'm a practicing
obstetrician and gynecologist.
I and I hate the word I, but I need the
parents to hear this.
And I trained before September 11. And
when September 11 I was in training. The
only Muslim they've never seen a hijab
woman before.
They even they used to look at me and
say, "What's your religion?"
Right? Honestly, are you a nun? Exactly.
Right? Nothing happened. Trained in the
best the fifth medical school in the US.
And it did not stop because I was
wearing hijab. And the final was me and
another
blonde woman. And everyone was telling
me they will not take you. This is I
heard this from Muslims.
They said, "They will not take you
because OBGYN at that time was extremely
competitive."
And and I said that nobody will give it
to me except Allah. If he wants to give
it to me, he will give it to me. And the
rest is history.
No,
no, I'm not doing I need the parents to
hear this.
Don't compromise your deen for dunya.
Do you think she will not get accepted
to Harvard?
Do you want me to show you the picture
of people I know they finished Harvard?
Woman, beautiful.
Even in the Biden administration there
is a woman who wears hijab and a proper
full hijab. Some of you may have seen it
seen her. She's from originally from
Pakistan.
What is the issue?
Why not?
Why do I allow my daughter and I'm
speaking you can feel me with a lot of
passion and sadness. Why do I allow my
daughters to be on the beach and to be
in the clubs and I have no problem with
that. And then when this young heart
wants to obey Allah, you come to parents
and say no?
And I will say this last word because I
don't want to take the And I say you
better have a very good answer to Allah
Subhana Wa Ta'ala when you are standing
in front of him and he will ask you
Everyone will come to Allah as an
individual.
So please say yes and help her. And I
will give my phone number to this girl
and to be keep her strong. And I will
say to her, "Do it."
even if your parents said no.
And Allah will never let you down.