HAUNTED HEIST W/ LIL REL, KEYSHA E, KARLOUS MILLER, & DC YOUNG FLY

I'mma call you. DON'T LET YOUR HEAD FALL. [laughter] NO. NO. You need a coach cuz you got his reaction. >> Okay. >> What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up, Leg? >> What's up? What's up? [ __ ] >> GOD DAMN, [laughter] MAN. >> [laughter] [laughter] >> YES, [ __ ] >> [ __ ] you all I got. [laughter] >> I TOLD YOU, MAMA. I TOLD Y'ALL THE BEST PLAYER ON THE TEAM. your eggs, huh? I don't have no eggs. >> Your old I don't got no >> You got no O's. >> I ain't got no O's either. A got no hoes, no O's, no X's, no nothing >> in this account. Crazy >> in this economy. [laughter] >> What happened? >> I did what you supposed to do with somebody two years ago. What would I >> It was a I tricked you. I was It was just going to be me. I'm a hater. I would I would never put another [ __ ] in a position. >> Oh my god. [clears throat] >> I'm diabolical. [laughter] I'm selfish. >> Everything is fine. >> Wow. >> So you done you done let her roam these streets for all this time and you roam the [laughter] street? >> Two years. >> I've been out here three years. >> That's crazy. You've been out here three years. >> Don't Don't Don't let her trick you. She full of [ __ ] Just like the rest of >> Kha came out here and [ __ ] got swollen. Yeah. Look at this [ __ ] >> Skin got >> start working out more. Yeah. Like like getting it in in like [ __ ] [laughter] >> I do the gym. That's why I need to eat right now. >> That's what you do. >> Work out today. >> That's what you do. >> What? >> Gym. [ __ ] around the gym. >> Yeah. I mean, not like professional. >> Well, okay. >> But yeah, I work out like biceps. >> I can't do it. I don't have the discipline. It's not saying I don't have the discipline. And I can't do it. I know already. I don't have the discipline for it. >> I would work out, but I'm already fine. >> You already fine. >> I'm already fine. >> But it don't fix your It don't do nothing to your face. >> But I'm saying I'm fine already. >> For what? >> And I got took my I looked and I was like, >> the [ __ ] I'mma fix. >> It ain't hard for me to get lean. I mean, I'm I'm already lean anyway. It ain't hard for me to get cut. >> I don't have to be in there every day. I just need to be there. Like if I swore and everything, I'm I'mma video record this [ __ ] I want to do two weeks of me being in the gym. Four days a week. Watch how cut I get. >> Do it. >> Just eight days. Just eight days. Watch. All right. But watch how fast I lose this [ __ ] >> in two days >> by not doing it on the third. Like that's why I don't like doing I'm like my [ __ ] I'm not doing it. It's easy to lose it versus you keeping it. Like I can work out and get like this two days, [ __ ] I'm like, "Bro, what the [ __ ] It look like I ain't even work out. [ __ ] this [ __ ] Y'all got it." >> Yeah, y'all got >> it. Don't stay. [laughter] >> But you see, but I have a fat metabolism. So me gain weight is a problem anyway. >> Same. >> So if I just even want to look like I'm all I got to do is do like two, three days working out, I'm back. >> I'll be remembering all this [ __ ] The moment I see you even get a little bit fat, [laughter] >> it ain't gonna be >> You don't understand. It's certain things that's going to happen to you in your life. >> I ain't going I ain't going to be [laughter] fat, gang. >> Not like you ain't going to be like like big big, but it'll be fat for you. >> I'm going be your weight. No way. >> I ain't going to get like that. >> I'm telling you. >> I don't see it. >> All right. >> I'm too such of an athlete and my metabolism. >> STOP SAYING THAT. STOP SAYING THAT. YOU AIN'T PLAYED no damn sports since you was 13, [ __ ] >> You get up here every week. [laughter] I'm an athlete. What you play, [ __ ] IN SIXTH GRADE, [ __ ] >> BASEBALL, BRO. >> SHUT THE [ __ ] UP. >> I PLAY BASEBALL TO THE NINE. >> 11. >> THAT WAS 20 YEARS AGO. >> I STILL GOT [laughter] IT. I'm an athlete. That's all I know. >> Bro, 20 years ago, I ran 5 miles a day. >> You athlete? >> When I was a That is a chapter that is closed. It's over. I still got it. It's >> done. >> I still read that book from time to time. >> What the [ __ ] [laughter] >> Ain't no book. It's over with. >> I still got it, gang. >> Hell no. >> I be going to the games and I realize why I didn't make it. I'm like, I was never that. I was never that. I was that in my head, but I was never that. >> I You don't got [ __ ] in there. >> He don't have a composite photo with the team. >> No, I [laughter] do. You know, >> old jersey. >> Seventh grade. >> He don't got no ribbons. >> Seventh grade. I got a trunk. >> He didn't win nothing at field day. Nothing. >> Third place. [laughter] >> That mean you lost twice. >> No, them [ __ ] was great. [laughter] Both of them went to the league. >> Oh god. >> So you the only people who could beat you was professional. >> I'm going to tell you like this. If you was a regular [ __ ] I was like great amongst the regular [ __ ] But the ones who actually went somewhere, I was kind of like right borderline good amongst them. >> I'm trying to figure out what you meant by that cuz you just said you was great amongst regular [ __ ] >> That's like if we go to the court right now gym class. >> We pull up at any court. [laughter] >> If we pull UP AT ANY COURT RIGHT NOW, WE dog all them [ __ ] But anybody cuz they regular [ __ ] If we see any [ __ ] that can possibly go to the league, it's a rap. He got it. >> So only [ __ ] can beat you as a professional. >> Yes. You got to be like Euro League type [ __ ] Like GLeague. [laughter] If you IN LA FITNESS, WE GOING TO COME IN THIS [ __ ] AND DOMINATE. [ __ ] I [laughter] DON'T GIVE A [ __ ] WHO YOU IS. I don't care if it's your team. We going to come in this [ __ ] and take over. WE THAT GOOD. WE almost went to the league type [ __ ] >> That mentality is so dangerous, bro. >> That's all them oneonone [ __ ] on YouTube. >> Oh, you about the uh the one versus the >> [ __ ] good hell, ain't it? >> Oneonone. They be dragging [ __ ] on the one onone. They good as hell, but they ain't really get to the league status cuz once you realize it's levels for real, them [ __ ] is really great. Even the siren [ __ ] are great. >> That's what I'm telling you. >> I was never them and I respect it. So I stick over here to the sorry [ __ ] who think they could have went somewhere. >> So you better than them? >> I'm better than all you [ __ ] For real. For real. >> I know that for sure. Like I gave up on this [ __ ] Like y'all [ __ ] cried about this [ __ ] Like [ __ ] I was to the street. >> So you was it like at as an athlete you at the crossroads of your career. This this professional. This the [ __ ] you decided to do and you went this way. >> Go back to I conversation earlier. If I would had somebody in my ear who saw how great I was, if >> professional >> if >> I was by myself, gang, so I had to go. >> He said, "If he had a Joe Jackson, >> if I HAD A JOE JACKSON, >> IF HE had a Joe Jackson, >> I love when people bring up if I used to work with this white man who said, "If my auntie had a dick, she'd be my uncle." [laughter] >> Damn. >> No. [laughter] how that work. >> All I'm saying in the in the world of if anything could. >> I'm going to be real, bro. My best year playing ball. >> Tell me your highlights. >> My best year. >> What sport? >> The coach really believed in me cuz when I got hurt, I realized how painful it was. I called him and said I was hurt. HE WAS LIKE, "GOD DAMN, BRO." [laughter] >> I was like, "You you mad?" He like, "Yeah, [laughter] I need you." I'm like, >> "Bro, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?" I LIKE, "I AIN'T THINK I was that important, coach." [laughter] >> He like, "Boy, YOU ONE OF MY BEST PLAYERS." I SAID, "I AM." >> WAIT, this is all before 11. At the age of 11, >> but they're like 14. >> Oh, you playing? >> NONE OF THIS [ __ ] COUNTS. [laughter] >> They're like 14 >> and I'm really getting good. I'm going I'm getting like 11 points a game, six steals, six assists. I'm getting I'M FINDING A BAD I'M FINDING A BAD LINE. OH, THIS [ __ ] START TO PAY OFF. >> THIS [ __ ] JUST hurt my best line. >> I hurt my best. >> Huh? >> How long did What age you mean stop playing? >> Well, I stopped playing ball like 16. >> 11 six and six >> at 14. [ __ ] >> [ __ ] you wasn't that was [laughter] 116. >> That phone call varsity number >> is [ __ ] amaz Carlos. That phone call though, like that that coach being disappointed is one of the greatest things I've ever [ __ ] heard >> because that gave me the motivation. I ain't never think nobody even saw this [ __ ] >> Hold up. Hold on. You be the coach. I'mma be you. >> I'm calling coach. >> I'mma call you soon as that [ __ ] happen. I'm [ __ ] up. I'm like >> No, no, no. You be the coach cuz you got his reaction going. I'mma be you. >> All right, >> coach. >> What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up, Legend? >> Puss, [ __ ] What's up? It's me, DC. >> What's up? What's up? Yeah, >> I'm hurt. I can't play today. I'M [ __ ] HURT. GOD DAMN, MAN. [laughter] WHAT THE [ __ ] MAN? WHAT THE [screaming] [ __ ] [ __ ] >> WE DON'T STAND A CHANCE. >> WE [laughter] DON'T STAND A CHANCE. >> I LOST MY BEST PLAY. >> HELLO. You really believe in me like that? >> Yes, [ __ ] [laughter] >> [ __ ] you all I got. >> I TOLD YOU, [screaming] MAMA. [laughter] I TOLD YOU I'M THE BEST PLAYER ON THE TEAM. HELLO. Can I come stay with you coach till I rehab? [laughter] >> That was my only coach, brother. I swear I didn't even think I swear when he was mad, bro. >> Crazy. >> I was like, damn, I should have been doing [laughter] should have made a better decision cuz this was really my best year. I'm turning up. >> Your best year was 116. >> I was top [ __ ] >> That is a That's [laughter] a That's a crazy average to have, man. First of all, you averaging an odd number 11 [laughter] >> because you know what? You're the most consistent player on the team. You averaging five and a [laughter] half points. >> You know why? You know why? I'm getting people I'm getting people in control. I'm getting people free throw. >> Mm-m. I ain't taking the first option. I already know if I'm point [ __ ] they on me. All you got to do is get open. Oh my. No. Open. My boy. [laughter] >> No. Six. I'm doing good. Co three-pointer. Well, I'm looking good, baby. Okay. All right. Be careful cuz you know you grew up in the digital age. Somebody got a tape somewhere. >> Nah. Everybody was in the Nobody had [ __ ] no phone. We were kicking church vans to all [laughter] these. >> Somebody got a tape. >> Ain't nobody got no phone. >> Church. I remember one time we couldn't even go cuz we ain't have no driver. >> Well, y'all just sit in the van. >> It's just a team. No. [laughter] >> Like, man, nobody got a license. >> Oh, y'all just s Oh jeez. Y just sitting in the van waiting on the drop. >> [ __ ] we waiting on anybody grown to [laughter] take us. >> [ __ ] we came out there early. [ __ ] you play. >> But baseball though. Baseball. But baseball. [ __ ] that. >> I not minor league. I probably could have went a minor league >> if I worked on my swinging. >> Yeah. >> Bro, let me tell you something. You have to be you got god-given natural talent and then you got people that can work on their talent and you got people who actually work with the students. They get trained. I never had training and I'm going it's people who have training. >> These people work during the summer. These folk parents done paid for [ __ ] I'm out here dogging [ __ ] AND I'M TALKING ABOUT TWO HIGHLIGHTS. [ __ ] THAT [ __ ] ain't talking about nothing. If I would have got training, >> if >> if [ __ ] >> if I would have got training, >> I promise you on everything. It was just small [ __ ] that I ain't even used as a child. >> Like what? >> Like little [ __ ] right? My batting got horrible, but my defense got better. >> What? >> Cuz when you play baseball, the speed of the ball get faster, ladies. So and and when you playing 12, 14 of them, them boys throwing like 60 and 70. But when you get in high school, they throwing 95s, 98. The boy really going to minor league. You ain't hearing none of that. You talking about curve ball, sn two scene. You feel what I'm saying? You ain't change up. You ain't catching that. Your eye, your hand eye coordination. [laughter] You ain't going to care that soon as you throw [laughter] He liked. >> Yeah. I'm going have to work on the defense game. [laughter] >> So, I worked on my defense. Defense guy. You you you hit anything go out there. I'm going to get it. >> She's not a threat. >> Yes, I am. >> Because you know why the coaches would tell them don't hit it my way. >> So, sometimes be boring. >> I'm out THERE JUST BY MYSELF. WHERE Y COME ON, MAN. SPIN THE BALL that way. They don't want to send it cuz they >> got to have you play in one of these softball games. >> Defense is superb. >> What are these like this the you know the celebrity game? >> I had MLB play. >> No, but I want to see this like like I'm saying like >> the Watson brothers. He play >> the Watson brothers. The boxing sons. He played MLB. I played WITH HIM. ASK HIM. He'll tell you. I got >> Who the Wait, who the Watson brothers? >> The Watson brothers. Why did >> YO HE PLAYED MLP MONI? [laughter] >> Oh yeah. Yeah, you good. >> Huh? I'm what? >> You good? You're nice. >> Oh, I'm nice. And this COME FROM AN MP. [laughter] YEAH. I APPRECIATE APPRECIATE YOU. NOW, I might not been good in one, but I'm good or something. >> But wait. Okay. Go ahead. >> He telling you that cuz he your friend. >> He said you nice. [ __ ] don't give out compliments when they do that [ __ ] for real. >> Wow. They going to be like you say hey or what's up or how you [laughter] know who the [ __ ] you just call [laughter] >> GET NO INTRO. HEY TELL THEM I WAS good [laughter] text nobody say that >> it was really old on call. >> Yeah >> that was on call gang. You at least could have been like, "Hey, is this the watching brothers?" And then Yeah, >> it would have look it would look stage. >> Call him back and tell him to put his brother on the phone. >> Did him? >> No, [laughter] >> cuz I got hear from both of them. I got to hear from the >> No, I think one of them on the plate. >> Okay. >> Yeah, Brandon played. He actually played played. >> Okay. >> Like played. They trying to get me on the team now. >> They don't want you on the team. Good. Like they want you on the team. Like >> Lately, this been bothering you. You've been reliving all your uh your sporting moments. What happened, man? >> Bro, I'm going to be real, bro. Basketball was the first love. Basketball was the first love. And I if I really had some training, I really could have did some nice [ __ ] cuz Steph Curry wasn't. [laughter] >> Y'all a let me finish. You a let me finish. >> YOU A LET ME FINISH. >> YOU A LET ME FINISH. No matter what you No matter what you about to say. [laughter] I call him. >> NO, I'M NOT GOING TO SAY MY SHOT WAS BETTER THAN STEPH CURRY. I WAS NEVER GOING TO SAY THAT. >> I was going to say at that point in time, you couldn't even shoot like Steph Curry. You couldn't shoot threes. You couldn't be doing that. Shooting from that m you shoot. Shoot that goddamn ball if you want to. Your ass getting out the game. >> Kish, what you played? [laughter] >> I'm not going to sit here and listen to this [ __ ] You was played basketball, swam. >> Mhm. And I was a cheerleader. >> Okay. >> Wait, you you swam and you cheerlead? >> Mhm. >> You had a swim team at school. >> You went to a black school? >> Mhm. >> With a swim team? >> Yeah, we have an Olympic size swim. The best girl swim team >> in Detroit. >> Shout out to Martin Luther King High. [laughter] >> At a Martin Luther King. >> Yes. >> We had a swimming pool in my middle school. What? >> Was that the only swimming pool in the city? >> All of our schools have swim. We had No, we had the best uh pool. >> Detroit >> in our in my particular school. But all high schools got >> That's a curriculum. What do you mean? >> In Michigan they do, but >> that's what I'm trying [laughter] to say. But see that that age. >> Swimming is pretty popular up there. >> That was prevalent back then. [laughter] >> We had one but they dried up. >> What you mean they dry? >> People just stop people just stop going. They didn't feel I pulled up in the pool. >> What? [laughter] >> They putting dents and ladders on. >> There's all type of [ __ ] in there. Old books and everything [laughter] in the pool. >> Beat us at the pool on the deep end. >> [ __ ] my middle school had a pool cuz it used to be a high school, but it was downstairs. And once I went down there roaming, they was all type of [ __ ] in that [ __ ] They used it probably since like 95. Real. What? You played anything? >> I played baseball and I played basketball. >> Mhm. >> You ain't trying to basketball. Look at this [laughter] [ __ ] >> Look at this [ __ ] >> No, but I wasn't. No, don't don't because >> I can believe it, right? I can believe [laughter] >> DC basketball. >> But I but I don't feel like doing that. But let me say this, DC. This is what I'm talking about. You hit a certain age where it's like I don't even like have the energy to like bring up what I used to do. It's no [ __ ] point. I tell my Achilles having those thoughts. >> See that mean you s >> I'm not [laughter] defend DC that didn't mean that. >> I'm going defend all >> that that mean that it don't that don't >> that don't mean that that don't mean that. I was I was good at baseball and I played >> I mean my father was involved for real. So he was coaching and [ __ ] So we played little league. I played in high school. Like baseball is my [ __ ] My brother got really >> What's your What's your What's your position? >> I could play shortstop. I could play center field timeout. I could play back catcher. >> I don't even know you play short stop. You see how I called it out? I got an eye out for this [ __ ] >> I didn't see it. >> I got I JUST SAID BOY LOOK LIKE A SHORTSTOP. >> What just said I play shortstop? >> How did I know? >> You got to be that guy to be the shortstop >> for sure. Well, ground ball crazy hand eye coordination. >> I thought I tell you I thought I was [ __ ] I thought I was Aussie [ __ ] Smith. >> You got speed. You got You got You got to back. >> I used I used to be fast, bro. >> I like it. >> Used to be [laughter] I used to be fast. I'm not I did some [ __ ] yesterday. I had to uh >> Oh, man. They brought back one of them like weird ass celebrity challenge shows, >> man. It was some white boy. We had to go do one of those bear crawl things. I'm I'm stretching. I'm like, I got this [ __ ] You know, I've been working out. This [ __ ] dope. Wait, the way he dope. Like I was like going fast and I just stopped and [ __ ] like a zombie. How [ __ ] fast, dude. He crawled so [ __ ] fast. >> You gave up? >> Yeah, I did. [laughter] >> Yeah, I did. Like, [ __ ] [laughter] >> It's funny you laughing. I'm dead [ __ ] serious. He crawled so [ __ ] fast, man. I I'm been a place I don't I ain't got nothing to prove, man. [ __ ] all >> parkour. You think you do that park? Not parkour, but the little the ninja warrior [ __ ] I can do that. >> Oh, come on, DC warrior. >> I can't do the ninja warrior. >> You think you can? >> I know I can. >> That [ __ ] look easier than what it's not as easy as you think it is, bro. >> Your core got to be strong as hell to do. >> Hell yeah. >> What is ninja warrior? >> Well, you have to go through the obstacle course. >> My upper body is crawling and then you got to hang and then you got to >> I can climb. That's what I did. >> They just brought back American Gladiators. >> You work out five days a week. >> Yeah, you should do that [ __ ] >> [ __ ] See, y'all want the ones on the monkey ball, but boy, [ __ ] how many of them? It's 11. [laughter] I'm going do the whole LEVEL, BOY. TRY TO DROP the [laughter] little kid that try to make it all the way to seven. Like, man, you going to kill yourself. [laughter] I bet you can't do seven. >> [laughter] >> That [ __ ] crazy, man. >> What's sport like? >> I played a bunch of [ __ ] [laughter] >> I played football. >> I played baseball for a little bit. >> I ran track. >> Country. >> I did all [laughter] kind of [ __ ] >> I used to whoop their ass. I mean, running. Running was always my [ __ ] I want to say something so messed up >> cuz you know be so athletic autistic kids. [laughter] >> Don't do that. >> They Oh my god. >> You going to get cancelled. >> You going to >> You going to hear they don't know no man. So they just [laughter] be doing but but I Hey. Oh, but can I do give props though? The people in [ __ ] man special living in the wheelchair, right? They were playing tennis. >> Oh man. >> But yes, [ __ ] playing tennis, [ __ ] They was going over here with the >> Oh, no. It's a whole It's a whole thing with that >> boy. That [ __ ] athletic in the [ __ ] I watch it for like 20 minutes. I'm like >> like Wimbledon. Then they actually do have like the wheelchair. Like that [ __ ] is >> Bro, that [ __ ] is I'm talking about, bro. Just don't even look at feet. Don't even THINK ABOUT FEET. >> REAL TALK. I SWEAR ON EVERYTHING. IT'S REVEL. You know how athletic you got to be to roll a wheelchair and play tennis, bro. >> Bro, I >> All right, I'mma send it to you. >> I'm going to send it to you. [laughter] I swear cuz you got to look at it like it normal. But when you look at >> I'm not about to even get involved in that. [laughter] I'm not getting involved. >> No, it's intriguing because it's more so like, bro, that's talent and that's [ __ ] uh what you call that? Confidence, bro. >> I actually enjoy watching >> confidence, bro. >> Y'all [ __ ] up for booing that lady. that church song. >> Where she at? >> There she go. Come back. >> I love you. What's your name? >> Latoya. >> Hold on. Cut the music down. >> Everybody call me this. My name. >> Okay, that Latoya. >> Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Stay right there. STAY RIGHT THERE. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. I JUST TOLD YOU [ __ ] STOP DOING THAT [ __ ] YOU [ __ ] STOP. She came up here to do her AND THEN YOU STOPPED. >> 10 SECONDS AND THEN Y'ALL CAN do whatever the [ __ ] you want to do. >> 10 seconds. I will count and then I will queue y'all. >> Stop. This [ __ ] ain't going to work if y'all don't stop. Hey, listen. Quiet. >> Shut the [ __ ] up. >> Morning sunlight shines. Y [ __ ] up people morning. >> Stop this right now. >> You stop. Stop. >> All right. I tried. >> That's your [ __ ] right there, baby. THAT'S YOUR MAN. THAT'S RIGHT, [ __ ] THAT'S RIGHT. SUPPORT YOUR THAT'S YOUR BABY. HELL YEAH, [ __ ] Hell yeah. That what YOU DOING? PUT IT ON THERE. >> PUT IT DOWN FOR YOU, BABY. >> THAT'S HER MANAGER. >> That's her man. >> That's her manager. >> SHE KNOW SHE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE to She might not be ABLE TO SEE. SHE CAN SUCK A DICK IN CASE SHE OG. I can tell from that jaw. SHE BE KNOCKING YOUR ASS BACK. >> She can sing to you. LOOK. HE LIKE, "COME ON, BABY. GET THAT STUPID ass up now." Hey, I'm so disappointed in this whole crowd. >> You can tell they go together. Look at dressed like you was about to go somewhere where they was going to play. It's time to get funky. >> Everybody clap your hands. >> Clap clap clap. Clap your hand. Clap clap. Clap your hand. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Clap clap clap hand. Two time. [screaming] Two. Let's go. Left foot RIGHT NOW. NO, that's that good cocaine, BOY. THAT'S THAT GOOD COCAINE. >> New [screaming] city. >> Listen, that's love right there. >> That is real love. When you and your baby can hit babies for get you a good sack of cocaine and come to the show. What? >> Have y'all seen this new sport? >> What? >> Uh where they slap the [ __ ] out of each other. >> Sand sport. >> That's a sport. >> THAT'S CRACK EGG going wild. [laughter] That's >> No, you you ain't never seen the like the I'm talking He talking about the professional where they put the they have to put the thing on >> and it's a rep there and this [ __ ] doing this [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> What? >> Hey, [laughter] I thought one dude got slapped so hard they didn't, you know, sometimes they'll get knocked out [laughter] and then they they'll lose by knockout, right? >> One dude got slapped so hard he didn't even know how to respond. That [ __ ] just said, "Yeah, [laughter] [laughter] >> I can't watch that [ __ ] That [ __ ] stupid, bro. That [ __ ] look but it's so >> we do it we'll go to jail >> now that they get to optimize over and capitalize on it >> is find somebody that want to slap with your ass. >> Yeah, >> that's every day in THE HOOD. WHY SLAP [ __ ] OUT YOUR ASS? >> WE GOT A RUMBLE. [laughter] >> She's going to slap the [ __ ] out of her. She's going to slap THE [ __ ] OUT OF YOU. COME TOGETHER. LET'S GET IT. Put the top [laughter] >> two What? Two ounces on. >> But see see but slap slap boxing is one thing. That's that slapping sport is like a whole another cuz you got to even the way you do it cuz you can be disqualified if it feel if it's like a punch. >> Oh yeah. >> It has to be like a perfect like >> this me though, bro. I don't care how strong you think your face or your jawline is >> cuz you don't know what's going to happen with that. >> Nobody wants to just get straight up slapped with no guard, no nothing. You give a [ __ ] a free shot. Go right ahead, buddy. >> [laughter] >> Take a whack at it. >> You got to really believe in your slap. >> What? You got to really believe that [ __ ] >> if they slap you, you don't know if you going to get knocked out or not. >> So, like you could be fully trained, prepared, or whatever, but you get hit so hard that you lost by knockout. You don't even get to slap back. >> Well, that's why but that's why I think those slaps ain't the best slaps. Like when somebody slap you and it don't knock you out, it just make a sound. >> To me, that's more disrespect. Even if they don't like knock you like you just a good like >> no >> and you can and you can be like but that's fine cuz it's not even about it hurting. It's like [ __ ] this [ __ ] slap. That's why when somebody slaps somebody with a glove. >> Yeah. >> It ain't about the pain. It's the disrespect. >> It's just a disrespect of it. >> But you think about this. You the champ and you you slapping with somebody who you don't know nothing about. >> Right. >> They got technique and [ __ ] that you ain't never seen. Like this [ __ ] measuring his hand to [laughter] your face to see how much ice you got that he can slap. [laughter] [ __ ] adjusting his foot in this [ __ ] He take a step back at you. [laughter] Then he hit you trying to brace for the slap and you you you tense up on the wrong one. He just go [laughter] this [ __ ] hit you with one of then this how they know the [ __ ] real. You got two [ __ ] ON EACH SIDE HOLDING YOU UP. [laughter] >> Anybody can take a punch. Not a lot of [ __ ] can handle a slap. >> I can't do that [ __ ] >> [ __ ] don't even know how they jaw like. They don't even know if they tend right here and up in the temple. >> You don't even know how many licks you can take >> and you just going to just go ahead and just take one free one. You crazy. [laughter] >> That's what make a backhand crazy too cuz it's like it's knuckles involved in it. That's a professional slapper. Everybody can't execute a backhand. >> A [ __ ] ain't never been punched before. >> You have to slap a lot of [ __ ] for you to get so good at doing this that you believe in yourself enough. [laughter] >> Cuz you not even slapping with the same [ __ ] no more. >> That's like a fist, but it's a slap. [laughter] >> Man, what? >> What? >> Your hand got to be loose enough, too. It can't ball up. >> It's all in the wrist. >> It's all in the wrist. Yeah. You can't even mistake this cuz once you let it go, a [ __ ] get slapped. [laughter] You be like, "Move the [ __ ] Stop until [laughter] it >> cuz you could poke a [ __ ] in the eye." Then you got to apologize. Even though you right, you wrong cuz you don't poke nobody in the eye. That's [ __ ] up. >> A slap is a disrespect for us. >> The type of [ __ ] that make your grandma make you go sit on the porch. You poke somebody in the eye. [laughter] Get Get that [ __ ] out of my goddamn Get your ass. You get your ass whooped. If you slap him first, [laughter] >> that's solidify the ass whooping. You like, boy, why got ass whooped? But you know he slapped his [ __ ] out there. [laughter] >> You can't erase that. >> Yeah, you can't erase that. >> Oh, five [ __ ] whooped him after that. >> Oh yeah, he had to. >> But he slapped once. [laughter] >> That That first [ __ ] got the [ __ ] slapped out of him. >> He slapped dog [ __ ] out of him. >> What? [laughter] >> I mean, who was the first person to do this [ __ ] Like when you think about it's a crazy [ __ ] >> it's like [ __ ] >> that did that first. >> You don't think so? >> That the first backhand was in retaliation. A slave had took all he could take. >> I swear master head just done showed his ass like [laughter] he got slapped. GET IN THERE BOY. HE SLAPPED. HE NEVER [laughter] the the the back slap. That's a defense move. [laughter] >> What's the lady from the Underground Railroad? >> Harry T. >> Harry T was the first lady to ever slap somebody. >> She wasn't going back. >> Keep that baby quiet. >> Funny. I said [laughter] >> keep that BABY QUIET. YOU WON'T GO BACK. [laughter] >> Next one. You get out of line, you get it. [laughter] >> Y'all hussy. >> We got three miles up. Young. [laughter] >> You know what I think about a lot? Hold on. You can imagine a slave trying to quiet that baby. [laughter] >> Here we go. She standing right over. [laughter] I always think about that day, that first day that slavery was over. >> Boy, I didn't know Master was sad as hell, boy. [laughter] He walked outside, he didn't hear no singing. So quiet around here. That was the first day ever overslept. [laughter] >> Marilyn, what time is it? >> Oh, IT'S 10:00. 10:00. >> WHY DIDN'T NOBODY WAKE ME UP, >> JOHN? THERE AIN'T nobody here to wake you up no more. >> They definitely best slap they goddamn master when they got free. >> Mr. Johnson, >> when master went in there, so they stole all them horses. [laughter] >> Free, man. >> Me and my family free. >> And they said that I won't get in no trouble if me and you get into altercation. >> Oh my god, that's funny. I believe that's the day black people first started talking like black people for real. >> What? >> Cuz they was, "Oh, we Yes, sir. Yes, sir. [laughter] You know y'all freeze, man. I'm out this [ __ ] >> Ain't no [ __ ] way, man. I've been around this bitch." You know, Master went out the first time they did this [ __ ] Hell yeah. [laughter] >> Give me some. >> Where you going, bro? I don't know, [laughter] but it won't be no crackers. I >> going to Detroit baby. [laughter] >> Hey bro, you never [ __ ] walk a long. They don't give a [ __ ] if it was 30 mile. >> They'll walk, catch a ride, walk, catch a ride, walk. >> Bro, if you got freed from slavery, you don't give a [ __ ] how you get away from that [ __ ] >> I would walk until my knees burnt. [laughter] >> [ __ ] that. >> That's make you think about the like parades for real. Like that's probably was the first parade was like I mean this going to sound [ __ ] up. >> It is >> but like slaves slaves first got free and they were just walking and then they started dancing like >> that's when they came up with the rules to listening. They like hey y'all can't hang together. They're like [ __ ] come on man. You know we ain't going nowhere to go [laughter] >> like in 20 of us. They like [ __ ] you want us to stay six six. That was the first pandemic. [laughter] >> Can't be together my [ __ ] I just know massive went out there and tried to plead with like the last [ __ ] leaving. You know, you're more than welcome to stay. No, sir. I got to get away from here. >> I headed to Chicago. I got me a job. >> Got to think about it, bro. Slaves. Slaves was currency. Imagine you wake up and all your currency flatline. >> All your currency walking down the street. >> All your currency walking down. THEM [ __ ] CRYING LIKE I KNOW THAT WE WOULD JUST HELL FOR THEM [ __ ] [gasps] >> YOU CAN'T JUST YOU JUST CAN'T LEAVE LIKE YOU WANT TO. [laughter] >> WAIT, has it ever >> AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU? >> IT'S It's never been a Junth type of movie ever made. Right. Like that. Even maybe even try to tell a story of the day everybody figured out that they were >> leaving. >> Yeah. >> Oh. >> Oh man. They they never by the time master got up all the horses was gone. [laughter] >> Them [ __ ] stole everything, >> man. He was stealing [ __ ] They ain't even need. One [ __ ] [laughter] had a struggle. He just took [laughter] >> Damn, man. >> But it came a long way, man. >> Damn. That's crazy. >> We're halfway. >> Yeah, >> we have. >> Can you imagine, bro? Can I That's not what I said. I don't what no [ __ ] talking about. That's >> like we there's still undertones of how they playing it but [ __ ] in a space where bro these [ __ ] really died talking back. >> I want to go to all the history that they didn't record bro cuz I know like that night when Martin Luther King was hitting these different cities and getting speech I know they were doing like a after party >> lit. >> Well that's why you got those down the juniors on the night. >> Oh hell yeah. You know damn well. Hell yeah. >> Fish sandwiches is $1. [laughter] All the liquor you can drink. >> I know them parties was smoke d cigarettes. You know, cigarettes was a >> [ __ ] was stressing, >> man. [laughter] They going to do about that march. You know, they come in a 100 deep march. >> Can you imagine? You go to the You go to the Martin Luther King march and then Suge Avery performing that night. >> Ho jumping going. [clears throat and cough] [laughter] >> That's when they played live instruments. The tri Ho jumping right at me. >> That's what >> $2 shots if you got dog bites. >> What? [laughter] >> You got dog. You show your dog, >> man. [laughter] >> I'm telling you, >> [ __ ] come in there wet like, "Yeah, I got that water hose on me." Uh, let me $2. That was the people they should make a movie about >> for sure. >> [ __ ] who got bit at the civil rights >> march and [ __ ] >> Them real stories. They were there. They got bit. >> I just I might was one of my granddaddy friends. Can you imagine that? It' be great just just sitting around hearing the old [ __ ] tell that story. >> But you know he came around that corner. That dog got on my ass but I got on his ass too. But hold on. But if it was somebody out there like it would be it's crazy if it's a story where it's like a [ __ ] that who didn't want anything involved. He was actually a sellout. >> He's like what y'all out here doing? They going to get you. He was the first one to get hoes down and everything happened. [laughter] >> I was on y'all side. >> [ __ ] My definitely was [ __ ] My cousin were the first ones to integrate in the school that they was at. >> We were like some black kid. >> Where? >> Down in Eison and Carterville. >> Yeah. M >> like in the 50s. I said, "Damn, C, you damn near 80 now." >> I wouldn't even want to do that. >> What? >> I would hate to be in the first group of integrator. >> Oh, no. She She was They were lit. >> I No, I couldn't do it. >> I never went to school with white with white kids. >> You ain't never went to school with white people, >> but not when I was a kid. >> We didn't either. The only kids that were white in my school was orphans. [laughter] >> For real. >> Every We had three of them. One in the fifth grade, one in the seventh grade, and I think it was one in high school. But they was all orphans. >> They put the white orphans in the black school. >> They put them in the hood, gang. No cap. >> That is >> No cap. That [ __ ] be funny as hell. They like [laughter] >> That's child. >> They tell you. >> Did you go? >> Did I go to school? White people? No. But this is crazy. I went to u a black like it was like all black kind of private school. And they sent us to like these camps in the summer and it was like being on the episode of Save by the Bell because it was like all white kids. It was so it was a shell shock to like me and one of my classmates like we'll be like the only black but it was funny like having white kids have all these things like I'm growing I'm in Chicago on the west side. So like >> GD's Vice Laws but what they was thinking was tough. It was the funniest [ __ ] in the world to be like >> you know what I mean like yeah you got you know they was wearing ombros. We was wearing Nikes like they was roasting us like look at those Nikes. I'm like what the [ __ ] is a ombro? Like it was just different brands that was popular. It was it was the crazy. It was like a [ __ ] different world. But I'm going to tell you something funny. Everybody was talking how they talk. When I came back to be picked up from my family, I thought slavery came back cuz like I've been listening to white people all summer. So when I start hearing [ __ ] talk again, they just everybody sounded like something happened. [laughter] You know what I mean? So I'mma come home. Everybody I was camp. I'm like what the [ __ ] happened when I left? [laughter] But they was messing with me cuz my dialect had changed too. I didn't even know it [ __ ] I thought I was still sounding the same. But then to them to them to me they all sounded like I'm like yo did y'all become slaves when I left for the last two months >> and they was like what the [ __ ] were you coming back talking proper? That was the whole thing too. That's when I first started hearing the proper >> conversation like you sound white and I'm like what the [ __ ] do I even know I did that [ __ ] though which is why you learn like unconsciously >> that [ __ ] can happen if you just in the you know what I mean in a certain environment. But that was crazy. I thought my mama and him slave [ __ ] I'm like, "How was that? Why was y'all something?" Well, we we glad to see you. What the [ __ ] y'all sound like that for? [laughter] >> Like, come on, bro. Just take me home. What? Bro, >> that's how I was talking this [ __ ] [laughter] >> I went to school with him. >> He definitely went to school. >> Well, you Mississippi, right? >> Yeah. >> You went to school? >> I went to school with them. >> They were weird. We see white people, we think police or cocaine. >> Let's see. [laughter] >> Straight up. white oak the police but no they want cocaine >> but that's what really showed like they got a they got social status like if you ain't in part of they click they do not [ __ ] with you at all they don't want to kick it with you skate with you hang with you >> so like poor white people >> right >> they hate white people white people do not [ __ ] with white people >> you got to break that down what [clears throat] you talking about >> bro when you a poor white person. Like white people who got money, they don't consider you white for real. Like you just pull white trash. >> So you could never like even if you got some money, you couldn't go over there and [ __ ] with them. >> I'm telling you, >> they look at you as filthy. >> I [laughter] guess they look they kind of look at you like a failure. Like you [ __ ] up being white. >> Basically, >> you get what I'm saying? You know, like when you from the hood, you can have a partner who had money and y'all could get along for real, but like white people not even about to let you in the circle. You can't sit at their table. Your locker can't be by their ass, bro. They will move. They'll go share a locker just to be on this hall with the white people who got money. >> Telling you dog, they do not [ __ ] with poor white people. >> Damn, we went to school with me. >> Then it's some who like in the middle, >> right? >> They all [ __ ] with each other. Okay. >> But like they be kind of like on the outside ring of the white people with money. >> The white people praise other white people who got a lot of money. Like the rich ones, >> but like the middle class, the one who got to work like for the summer and cut grass and [ __ ] >> right? >> They'll still on one of them rich [ __ ] cuz they just they don't they they don't [ __ ] with them, but they kind of want their position. And poor white people just like acknowledge us. [laughter] >> That's funny. You ever seen the movie Catty Shack before? Yeah, >> that's pretty much what it always kind of was. Like they show like the people who's a part of the country club and then the ones who work there >> and they was always like, man, [ __ ] you know, they always [ __ ] them and this and that, but they had they It's really interesting. That's who Christopher Columbus was. Christopher Columbus was supposed to be like >> one of dirty like all the white people that came to America, took [ __ ] over, they was like the bums and the thugs or whatever and got kicked the [ __ ] out. But >> this one thing that I noticed about them, they'll put all their differences aside for some drugs and some cigarettes. [laughter] >> For real. Cigarettes, liquor, drugs. That's universal language. [laughter] >> Cuz like when the when the rich white kids get strung out on the dope, >> they start hanging with the broker. So they cuz they like, I got the money. Just show me where it's at. Then we can be friends cuz I'm going to let you get high off of my habit. >> Right. >> And if you got some cigarettes, [laughter] >> you give me one now, I'll buy you a pack later. >> That type [ __ ] [laughter] >> Money who got a drug of that. >> And then it's like white people, you they don't just do you a favor. You got to do something like you got, you know what I mean? Like >> like watch my back, I watch your back type [ __ ] >> No, it's like if I look out for you, you owe me something. Like you got to give me something back. You can't just say I appreciate you looking out. You know, you got to do something back. [laughter] You got to give me some cigarettes. >> Hey, bro. >> Coca something. >> I am >> joking that you [ __ ] with me something. >> But you owe me and I want my [ __ ] >> Damn. Hey, this episode is sponsored by Bluetooth fellas. Confidence can change everything if you know what I'm saying. 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Right now, you get two months of BlueChew Gold and you get the third month for free. That's promo code 85 South. You use promo code 85 South at bluechw.com. You'll also receive an additional 10% off plus free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit bluw.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluw for sponsoring the podcast in your bedroom. Hell yeah. >> We a three orphans and probably had like three white teachers. Three white teachers. And they put some [ __ ] on her disc. She walked out. I saw the day she walked down the hallway. It was her last day. Miss boat ride. [laughter] >> Oh god. >> You got to be a bad teacher to be like >> on behalf cuz she was cool. >> But that's what I'm saying. DC like most the bad white teachers is what they put in like Chicago. I remember Miss French was like I was like how the [ __ ] did she get this? She had to be a bad teacher at the other schools cuz like nobody listened to her. They gave her [ __ ] >> Bite was cool. She just went down there on the bad team and them folks ain't give a [ __ ] about none of that social study [ __ ] she was talking about. And she had that little crazy accent. >> You called it the bad team cuz what she was teaching. >> Yeah, cuz on the middle school you had team A, team B, team C. >> Oh, team A. >> She was on team C. >> Me boat ride was supposed to be down there with them [ __ ] >> And she already she talked like that like, "Hey everybody y'all, man. Them kid tow her ass." Oh. >> Oh. To her ass. Oh, she was supposed to be dying with them, >> man. >> Did she quit? >> She quit. Did you not hear what I said? They put [ __ ] on her desk. >> Oh, I thought you meant like they wrote >> Oh, yeah. No. No. You talking about >> They put actual >> We coming from lunch. I don't know what [laughter] >> what spilling our seventh grade year was, bro. This my seventh grade year was so lit. These [ __ ] did something every day. We couldn't do no mayday, no field trips, no nothing. [ __ ] we was shut down, [ __ ] We did. [ __ ] we [ __ ] we turned this [ __ ] out. We almost didn't. Everybody almost got killed back, [ __ ] We turned one day. Done had a food fight in the cafeteria, [ __ ] We lit. I don't know what [ __ ] snuck up here, [ __ ] >> First of all, you had the [ __ ] I know you ain't walking around with the [ __ ] [laughter] You did this while THE FOOL FIGHT THIS. THAT'S HOW STRATEGIC THESE [ __ ] WAS. These [ __ ] WILL START A FOOD FIGHT TO [ __ ] [laughter] SO THEY CAN PUT IT ON THIS BOAT RIGHT THERE. >> We in the cafeteria, man. We going crazy. Pizzas being thrown, milk being thrown. These [ __ ] up there [ __ ] on me boat right there. We come upstairs, [ __ ] We in the middle of the hall, [ __ ] We turn, [ __ ] We like, "Yeah, they can't [ __ ] with us." We tell the teachers they can't [ __ ] with us. They can't [ __ ] with us. We having a ball, [ __ ] We just see me boat right walking down the hall. She just scre like me boat right what going on? She like I can't do this no more. [laughter] [ __ ] students coming out. They like oh that crazy [ __ ] they push [ __ ] on her daddy. >> I said bro who's going to stop this madness? >> We had our lifesty >> they couldn't do nothing with us. I don't know what wrong with us. I don't know. >> But I love how I love how strategic that was. Like, yo, let's start a food fight, right? As soon as you start the food fight, you eat a little bit of the food, >> bro. >> Get the bubble guts cuz you know it's [ __ ] chili cheese fries Tuesday. >> Listen, she did something to them cuz that's a hell of a revenge. >> I think she probably told whoever that person I think she probably told them to read out loud. >> Damn. [laughter] >> I got something for that [ __ ] Cuz that that particular team, you can't even say they dumb or anything. Oh, they start a [laughter] fight. STUPID ASS [ __ ] OH, WHAT do >> everybody down there reading below Steven [laughter] Green level? >> Okay. Didn't know. >> You know what's funny? That is a look, if you can't if you can't read, right? >> Say nothing to them. >> We all knew somebody who couldn't read for real. >> When they was asked to read to watch how how they paused, man. All right, man. and looked up like >> [ __ ] out of school for that. [laughter] >> No [ __ ] cuz our locker was at the end of the hall. It's a door right here. It was about five [ __ ] quit that day. Quit school in the eighth grade. Never never even went to high school, bro. Just quit right there. They took all the books out the locker, put them in the garbage can right there and walked out that door. And this the teacher had to the teacher always knew who couldn't read. >> They for them to do that [ __ ] Oh, [ __ ] They c they like you got on they [ __ ] nerves that day. They like, I got you. >> Even when you know how to read and you mispronounce a word. Doing that out loud hurts. Knowing you actually don't know none of this [ __ ] on the paper, [ __ ] You is like, I can't believe that [ __ ] really called me. [laughter] >> I don't know none of this [ __ ] >> That's you know how that is. He like, bro, I am going to hurt you. That's crazy. See, I knew how to read. I will read fast. So the teacher when he called me, I'll be one of them kids. Read the Mr. Whitfield. Yes, ma'am. All right, then. George want to go to [laughter] All right. All right. All right. All right. Let's get somebody else to read. >> I'm like, "Yeah, [ __ ] Don't try me. [laughter] I read to get it over with, not for comprehension." >> You know which one I was? I was the one who read everybody line in a different voice. I gave it I made it real like animated and colorful. WHY'D YOU SAY THAT, JOHN? Because I come to you humble as always. >> Oh god. >> Do you think we can go outside again? >> She was like, "Mr. Miller, that's enough. [laughter] That's enough. >> What? What' I do? You trying You're being cute [laughter] >> and that's enough. I tell you what, take your desk. >> It's all right. Take my desk." >> I WAS HIM. I KNOW >> all my classmates looking through that little long window. Guess [laughter] what I'm in the hallway doing? >> Stupid [ __ ] MY TEETH. BUT I WAS I WAS ALL man >> after about two weeks. >> Bro, [laughter] >> she pul you know that you know this the teacher this say this the teacher this that [ __ ] who was right there TEACH [laughter] ME. >> You got to be close me. >> They got to watch you. >> That's crazy. >> Even when you ain't doing that you're doing something. >> What? [laughter] But you >> you know how how the teacher got to get the trouble students like before y'all start lining up to go to recess and [ __ ] It's about three people who name she got to call Carlos Miller. >> Yes sir. [laughter] >> John Winfield. >> Y'all y'all come by me. We're like everybody else in line. I had to walk by her. [laughter] >> I got to eat land. What? Got to eat land. >> Come on man. I I I swear on everything. Then then when I knew I was good, my teacher had me right by his desk. I don't know why he do this. I sat right here with my partner. [ __ ] this the last day of school. I need to take the test in order for me to pass the class. I got to pass the test. He like, "Mr. Whipfield, uh, I want you to sit right here while we take the test." I'm like, "Why we take the test?" Oh, we ain't never sat right here. No, I need you to sit right by me. [ __ ] I'm tripping cuz I ain't paid attention none semester. I don't know nothing on the test. I'm telling my partner, hey, look, I need the Scantron. [laughter] He like, "How you gonna do it?" I said, "I don't know how we going to do it, but I'm going to make a move where I'mma bring you a extra Scantron over there to you. Do the dots for me. Bring it to me before the I'mma bubble it in real fast cuz boy, he on me. He I can't I got to act like I'm taking the T. He on. He right here. I ain't got nothing bubbling in. paper empty his [laughter] head >> nothing. >> Oh god >> man. But we got five 10 minutes left. He been on me the whole time. I'm like bro I'm going to fail the class. All I need one minute. This [ __ ] [ __ ] get go out the room. Come here. Come right back in LIKE IN 30 SECOND THOUGH. WOO! [laughter] MR. WHIFFFIELD, how you think you do? Oh, man. [laughter] Pass. >> Got up out of there. 82. >> Only time I thought I was going to fail. Fail. I was like, but he on me. >> I would hate that for you cuz what about your athletic scholarships and [ __ ] >> Oh [ __ ] Yeah, >> that was online. >> The coach needed you. >> That was online. >> You athlete? >> That was online, too. >> What' you say, bro? I'm about to say shout out to teachers, man. Like but any like it's hard in general. Just shout out to teachers. >> People come if you don't really give a [ __ ] about the students, man. Cuz we feel that energy for >> Yeah. But it's it's a but it's funny. It's Well, let's look at it from an adult perspective now, right? Cuz like we love we all tell these stories of like how No, I'm I'm dead [ __ ] cuz I got I got a family I got a family full of educators. So I do have like I do but some of you [ __ ] are just really badass [ __ ] kids. But you have to love your job and understand >> it's hard to [ __ ] [ __ ] on your desk and throwing [ __ ] and cursing. >> We needed our ass. >> Cheating all the time. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] roasting like [ __ ] >> We needed our ass there. Yeah. >> [ __ ] literally like when you say that like the smoking cigarette [ __ ] If you probably go to most teachers parking lots, there's probably nothing but cigarette butts in that [ __ ] because they had to smoke with >> teachers stop eating at the school. They would take their break and get the [ __ ] on. >> I don't blame them. That teaching lounge empty. >> Ain't nobody in there [laughter] congregating. ARE YOU MAD? >> [ __ ] THAT, >> MAN. LET'S GO, MAN. MAN, WE GOT 30 MINUTES. Let's do it. >> Why do you feel like you had to hold teachers through a different standard, though? It's a job is a job. >> No, a job is a job. >> Bad ass kids. >> Let me tell you, badass kids make you hate your job. >> My mama was a real educator, bro. >> She was strict, but she loved her job. She loved the kids. like she talked generations where it was like she couldn't go up there with an attitude with something that was going on at home. She love working so much, but she told work over us. >> Not saying in a bad way, but I'm like, "Bro, my mama will help you and go do that >> before buying me these shoes." >> It's some great teachers. But that's what I'm saying, too. It's like >> don't get to really be themselves. I want to hear about their least favorite students. >> Well, this is the thing. Have you Have you end up having friends as teachers, though? Like when you got older. Like that's what that's what made it real to me because I'm like, "Oh shit." Like I think I used to have a teacher named >> Mr. Matthews, right? And I knew this [ __ ] was drunk. Like I I knew he was drunk. He was a drunk ass [ __ ] I don't even know what drunk smell like. But whatever that [ __ ] smell like smell like drunk. My piano teacher. >> But then when I got older, you started hanging out with friends who was teachers. He's like, "Damn, I kind of understand why you getting [laughter] [ __ ] up." >> Right. >> My elementary school piano teacher, Miss Hill, she was so sweet. But we found she had a little Hennessy like a fifth of Hennessy under the you know how you had a little cover of the piano you flip it over for the keys and it used to wonder why we would be practicing. She'd be back there like just going across the keys like what [laughter] and she and then we would stand up to school for violin practice and [clears throat] we I'm just about to play around on the piano. I'm like oh [ __ ] it's a fifth Hennessy. We was like second third grade >> but she was a great >> We had a teacher named Miss Curry like that. She was the the science teacher and she had the, you know, the closet with all the experiment [ __ ] in there like the the gas, the nitrogen and [ __ ] She' go in there and be drunk as hell and stay in there the whole class period. [laughter] One time she gave up when she gave us a test, everybody in the class failed the test, man. She she walking around handing the test out. She stopped by my boy Walter Desarted so loud. He like [laughter] hurt. >> She looked at that [ __ ] and kept on in the Amen. >> That's so funny. Like teachers are like like you know how students always talk this [ __ ] I can only imagine >> what a group of teachers if they sit in the lounge like [ __ ] >> just gave me the business. I know they talked about me so much. >> This episode is sponsored by Baskin Leather. You know what's funny? A lot of people grew up thinking that more products mean better results. I mean they use whatever they the same thing on their hair, face, whatever. 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It all started when a founder's youngest sister was told that her hair might not never grow back. Her family created their own formulas and today that passion has grown into a brand helping people take better care of their hair and beards. Explore viral bestsellers and products for healthier hair of all types from Baskin Leather. Go to baskin leatherco.com and use promo code 85 South for 20% off. That's 20% off at baskin leatherco.com. And we thank Baskin Leather for sponsoring the podcast. >> Welcome back to the 85 South Show. [screaming] >> Yeah. Yeah, baby. >> We got some special guests in here with us today, man. Some of my castmates from the new movie that we got coming out. We do July 24th called Hunted Heist. None other than Miss Ke. >> They got the movie coming out July 24th. >> It's a movie >> real. No, for sure. For sure. >> DC, we got a movie, man. >> Hey, man. That lit, man. >> Another one. >> A theater, bro. I got a bone pit, bro. Why you call me, bro? >> What? >> Why you ain't call me, bro? What the >> DC? First of all, this [ __ ] about to >> You got my lighter, dog. You got to stop stealing my light. No, he didn't. He played two characters on my show. >> You know what? I damn sure did. >> And I tried to get him to play the brother and he couldn't do it cuz he was already doing something else. >> I'm going shut the [ __ ] up. >> I'm going to shut the [ __ ] up. You definitely did that. My bad. I just want to be in everything you do, bro. I [ __ ] with you. >> DC [ __ ] I >> got a friend in me, man. >> You got in. >> What would you have done in the movie? >> WHATEVER THE [ __ ] WANTED ME TO DO. I DON'T give a [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> Come here. >> No, you you wouldn't have been scary enough, man. >> But that might have been [ __ ] Now that I think about it though, him playing Claw would have been interesting. >> He wouldn't have did it. >> He would have been so funny though. Like if I if I'd have made him more a like a funnier religious man, he wouldn't have he wouldn't have did >> anything evil like that. Yeah. I can't take >> He wouldn't have did it. >> So wait, you need Would you play Would you play a Would you play a bad guy DC though? Like would you play like a villain? I wouldn't play something that's demonic, but I play a villain. >> But most villains are some demonic. >> You got to be demonic to be a villain. >> [ __ ] >> See, he got a he even in evil, he has a line of morality. >> You just got [laughter] to >> even when it's evil, >> he still have a heart and smack a [ __ ] [laughter] >> I'm trying to think. >> I told you hunch that [ __ ] Ooh. Okay. Let me let me ask you this cuz this is a cuz you I feel like you would do this. If you had a chance to play the Joker, you wouldn't do it. >> Sure. I play the Joker. >> He's not the money. >> He's insane, [ __ ] >> You understand? >> Wait, who who was the actor name that died though that played the Joker? Uh >> he played very he played very >> because he I think he dove really into whatever >> the Joker is. It's not. >> And that's and that's scary too when we're method actors. You don't want to get trapped in something that where you like you know what I'm saying? You want some way like it was fun for the character and and you know the reps but it's like >> woo I don't want to tap into none of that. >> You got to you got to know how to get yourself out of it. Like it's it's cuz you do take a little piece of whatever you play honestly. Like Denzel, like I remember Denzel wife talking about when he did training today and she had to kick this [ __ ] out the house cuz he was he was still walking around talking [ __ ] like [laughter] like he was and she said, "You better get the [ __ ] out of here before you get that [ __ ] out their sister and he had to leave until that [ __ ] was out of he came back." >> But it it does happen. I think you just have to figure out how to get yourself [laughter] out of >> He came home talking that [ __ ] She like, "Nigga, you died at the end of the movie, [ __ ] [laughter] >> So clever." >> That's crazy. >> That's hilarious. Yeah, but that was >> like that that one part when the claw nic did come out, man. That [ __ ] I was like, "Bro, we not going to have like no team meeting or nothing. [laughter] >> This [ __ ] was scary for real." Like what these the special effects people went crazy. >> By the time they they like got this [ __ ] finished, this [ __ ] WAS LIKE 7 FEET TALL. >> YEAH. >> WOW. >> 24. >> YEAH. I was scared because this [ __ ] he would tell you this [ __ ] looks so [ __ ] real. M. >> And then this [ __ ] just on set just like like, man, I can't look at this [ __ ] >> Oh, you talking about when the guy was dressed in things? >> Absolutely. >> Yeah. >> I can't wait to see it. July 24th, [ __ ] I'm going to see it 30. >> That's what scared me about Michael Myers. I don't know if I could have did that. Like, cuz you have you ever been to uh Universal Horror Nights and [ __ ] like that. >> I don't do nothing. >> They had a Michael Myers thing one year and that [ __ ] was [ __ ] frightening. Like, cuz it kept being a dude like that [ __ ] scared the [ __ ] out of me. Now it's is when I was young as a kid cuz you know you're a child so you'll be frightened but when you're a man and you're adult you realize like all right a [ __ ] with a knife [laughter] >> would I really be scared of a [ __ ] with a knife running if I DIDN'T HAVE A KNIFE? >> YEAH. >> All right Mike >> but if you didn't have [laughter] no if you stupid Mike >> if you had no weapon though and he just popped out of cuz this thing about Are you still scared of clown? Anybody scared of clowns? I'm getting >> I've never been scared of clowns. I never been in I've been scared of scary movies. Scary movies. I ain't going to tell you what I'm >> Wait, it scare you? >> What? What? >> You were scared of thriller? >> Oh, thriller. >> Michael Jackson. >> You scared of Michael Jackson? >> Cuz a thriller. >> I can see that. >> And Prince. >> Cuz if you saw Michael Jackson just out, you were scared of Michael Jackson just being scared of Michael Jackson. I would go the other [ __ ] way. >> Kha. But which Michael? The Michael that you I it was Michael the one he became. That was scary. As a kid, YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. >> As a kid, I can see that. >> As a kid, I should have the way he talked. >> I can see that. >> Yes, that [ __ ] is scary as hell. >> And I never [laughter] I was I was scared. I didn't know. [laughter] >> That's why we talking about the movie earlier. You didn't hear me say [ __ ] I didn't go see that movie. >> Well, you didn't go see Mike cuz he's [laughter] y >> YOU WATCH LIKE GET HIM. NO JOKE. >> NO, [laughter] get him. >> Evil [ __ ] [screaming] >> I'm not playing. >> You scared of bubbles. BUBBLES. [screaming] [laughter] >> I didn't I was kidding. I was saying I can see that. I can definitely that's the funniest [ __ ] though. >> That's some real [ __ ] >> I'm [laughter] not. They was talking about Michael Jackson in the lobby and I was just in there like >> Hey, you sure didn't say that? [laughter] >> That's hilarious. I think he the greatest of all time. But that's funny though. I >> I can see it. Yeah, I get it. Like when you say it makes so much sense like that is kind of frightening. But then, oh, going back to the Universal, we went to the tour. You know, they got the tour where they could, you know, take you through like the movie sets and stuff like that >> and they took us to the uh, >> you know, that show the Bass Motel with the serial killer on there. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> It was this joint where you pull up to the hotel and he outside like he working on the car. >> And then he noticed that people looking at him so he start running towards like he pulled a big knife out and start running towards the bus and they act like the bus won't start. >> Yeah. [laughter] That's Mace. >> No, that's on the universe tour. Yeah, >> for real. >> Then they got the other joint where they trying to show you like >> it's so I forgot it's like Jaws or some [ __ ] they show. >> That's even though it's a robot, that [ __ ] look crazy. Like that [ __ ] lit. >> Yo, they did a Nope one uh you remember the movie the movie Nope. >> And so you had all the people man that [ __ ] was scarier than the [ __ ] movie. They did like a Universal >> maze. Well, even though it's funny, you ever been in one of them mazes and you scared and it's always one [ __ ] that ain't scared? Like, come on, man. They can't touch you. >> They [laughter] [ __ ] up your whole experience. They get fired if they touch, >> [ __ ] Let us be scared, [ __ ] That's what we pay for this [ __ ] >> Did [laughter] you ever go through that Transformer [ __ ] at uh Universal? >> Yeah. >> What where the [ __ ] spit the fire on you? You be like, [laughter] >> that [ __ ] IT LIKE IT DON'T BURN, BUT IT'S HOT. IT GET HOT IN A [ __ ] right there. >> Oh, well [ __ ] That ride the the mummy ride when they act like they crawling on your feet. >> Oh yeah. >> You start feeling the air on your legs and [ __ ] like some [laughter] Yeah. >> Little spiders or something. >> Do you see him over here? [laughter] >> Come on, man. >> Oh man. >> [laughter] >> stupid. [laughter] >> Oh my god. >> I can't. [laughter] >> I don't even know what you laugh at. >> What real saying it's always that one person that be I can't touch you. [ __ ] up your experience, MAN. COME ON. I CAN'T TOUCH [laughter] YOU. WELL, I never feel like that. >> What? That they can't not take >> But you know they kick you out of there. I've seen [ __ ] still on like you know how they got the chainsaw [ __ ] that walk and do the [ __ ] the knives. It's [ __ ] that just straight. You ever see the [ __ ] that still on people? They be the ones get kicked out the park looking [ __ ] with they family. >> Yeah house. >> They can't touch you. >> We used to go to this [ __ ] [laughter] called the haunted forest. It's like a trail. >> Yeah. >> Really is rolling down. [laughter] Man of tissue. Oh, man. Some of the funnest in the world. Come on, man. They can't touch. >> He is crying real tears. [laughter] >> Church. >> Oh, man. That [ __ ] stupid. Now you [laughter] from Chicago for real. But them [ __ ] funny as hell in Chicago, boy. Y'all [ __ ] for the hell, bro. >> Man, speaking of which, man, go [laughter] walk us through the good old days, man. When you cuz you got to come up with all the Chicago legends, man, >> while they actually still in Chicago. >> Yeah, it was them [ __ ] was deep out there, too. You D um >> Cory, Dion, >> Cory, >> Uncle Re. But everybody used to come through Chicago. JB Smooth used to come through Chicago, Tony Roberts, all them [ __ ] That [ __ ] was crazy. or Chicago [ __ ] funny as hell [laughter] >> DC Real got into a fight with Kanye security. >> Damn. [ __ ] you put that out there for Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a true story. >> Yeah. >> You won. >> It's No. [laughter] >> No. >> He had to fire that [ __ ] cuz he was beating up on everybody at that time. This [ __ ] was just This [ __ ] was just out. He had just pissed the [ __ ] off. He was one of them [ __ ] like you be invited to VIP and he be doing too much like [ __ ] we in here [ __ ] stop you tripping [ __ ] >> He hired a [ __ ] like that one time. >> Who me? >> Yeah he wild. He tripping. [laughter] He had to go [ __ ] like that. >> They can't they just they just >> you can't be the reason why the altercation is about to happen. >> No you not. That's your security. >> You got to diffuse security. >> You supposed to diffuse [ __ ] Yeah. This [ __ ] was you [ __ ] trying to prove that they know how to do [ __ ] then get beat up. Now I got to fire you. >> Now how you put this movie together, man. >> Uh >> how you come up with the script and the concept and all that? >> Well, first of all, thank you for saying yes. And >> Oh, you're welcome, man. >> I like the fact that this is and I said this in some other interviews. We've been doing press all day and all that [ __ ] but it's interesting to me. I've seen you with other stuff and I always wonder like why the [ __ ] are they giving him like these smaller guest rows? You know what I'm saying? Like this [ __ ] really could act. Like Carlos is a real like for real, Carlos could really act his ass off. And in this film he's actually showing all that [ __ ] He's funny. He's he's dramatic when he needs to be all that [ __ ] So like I feel like this is a cool thing to put together to watch. Um maybe not not even like that, but like watching one of your friends have like his coming out party. as far as on the big screen, man. That's why y'all should go see this [ __ ] because this [ __ ] killed that [ __ ] >> Okay, real talk. >> Hell yeah. >> And I'm glad you said yes. You know what I'm saying? So that, you know, me calling y'all, you know, you, Tiffany, uh, Tiffany Hattish, King Batch, Tony Baker, >> Kesha E, all y'all was per I had to, I called all y'all personally to do this [ __ ] movie and I thank y'all for that. you know, this get serious, bro. >> Shout out to Tasha Smith and and the Actor's Academy over there. She put me in touch with uh Larry B. Scott. >> Mhm. >> Which is Ashley Lavar from Revenge of the Nerds, man. And we went through the whole script line by line. He was like, he was showing me the timing and how to like pick the spots and okay, you you you don't have no dialogue right here, but when you get right here, if you get a second right here, this is where you can do your thing. So he kind of showed me like how to pick them spots as opposed to just >> going out there on your own >> when you on your own and you just waiting on trying to jump in. And he showed me I was like it really helped with the timing of everything and >> go back to what I was saying by being trained being COACH [laughter] he >> damn that was that >> Yeah. If you would have had somebody in your corner, >> we might have been in the >> You might be in the NBA, baby. I KNOW WHAT'S UP, BOY. WE HAVE A DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP. >> That's crazy. >> He brought that right back around perfectly, too. >> But no, bro, I'm glad you went through that though, bro. And I'm glad, bro, you a real day one partner, bro. You feel what I'm saying? Even put your your people on like even with the process. Like, think about it. You you got the production together. Like, how did you get the production together? Did you were you like gaining information as you was going on other sets to see like, okay, I need a DP, I need a director, or I need somebody like this. How was you getting this type of production together? >> Well, I I've learned from every project I've been on. Um, I've always thought about directing the last few years and just wanted an opportunity to do that [ __ ] And then putting this together, it was just I did this movie called A Mill on Hulu and a producer Sean producer Sean and Josh hit me up cuz when we was doing that movie like every single day outside of me just being in it, we literally took that script, broke that [ __ ] down every day, shot every shots and everything. >> And he was like, "Damn." They hit me up later like, "Yo, you want to direct?" I'm like, "Yeah, well, we have a movie idea." And that's when they told me about Haunted Heist and brought in Carl uh to write it. And >> shout out to >> Carl. He was right cold ass l. And I mean and then once we got it all together, you know, I learned a lot from this. I learned how to get financing from it because this is an independent film. >> So getting financing for it. >> Um >> really learning to and and also this was an experiment on my own to to DC based off doing other stuff. >> I got tired of seeing stuff where they they'll do these comedies or whatever. They don't cast standup comics to act in it. you know, we've been seeing just comedic actors, but not standups getting opportunities to show their [ __ ] So, >> I'm like, all right, this is a perfect opportunity to like get Carlos Miller and Tony and uh, you know, Tiff and Batch and everybody, but these were personal phone calls. Like, I called, >> you know, shout out to Ricky Hughes. I called Ricky like, I need to get I cuz I couldn't see nobody else playing this but Carlos. >> Mhm. >> And, you know, and you said this earlier, we was talking. You almost thought I was kind of just call you for like a guest spot or some some quick [ __ ] >> What? >> But it was like, "No, [ __ ] This the this you're the you're the story." >> Just like you said that we used to get in them rows where you in in and out. >> Come shoot everything in a day and a half. You know what I mean? You get one good whole full day, then you leaving at 2:00 >> flying home. You feel me? >> Don't even use you. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> No, this was this was it was trying to make sure you get I wanted, you know, wanted him to shine, but I knew he could pull that [ __ ] off and he even did it even better. Mhm. >> than I thought. And just like even [ __ ] with you, right, bring you on the show. Like I kind of always done that comfortably. I don't >> brag about it, but I love this [ __ ] And so I watch everybody and I watch everything. So I'm always trying to plug people in that makes [ __ ] sense. So like even just hitting you for the sitcom, man. >> You know that's Fox. You know what I'm saying? Like I remember talking to Fox about like I want DC Young Fly. These white people like who is that? Like I don't [ __ ] matter. I want him on the show. They sleep on our professionalism, too. >> 100%. Dude, you get what I'm saying? >> 100%. >> Y'all pulled that off >> on some [ __ ] that Dale Pony and Warner Brother all these top dollars folk. Y'all pulled that off. >> It's cuz it's cuz we had a great crew, you know what I'm saying? A great producing crew. And then once again, y'all like Kesha Kesha came in, you know what I mean? I hear that she [ __ ] come and killed that [ __ ] and came to Detroit where she from and [ __ ] flew out and did that [ __ ] And once again, like Tony and this was like y'all I y'all don't even know how grateful I am for y'all saying yes. You know what I'm saying? It's not easy >> directing and producing and all that [ __ ] is a lot of work. And but I love that. I love this [ __ ] >> This [ __ ] beautiful. >> I I love this [ __ ] And then also had to really tr and this is the honest to God truth, but I had to trust who God showed me I was. And at first, you know, you kind of run from that [ __ ] like I'mma pull this off God. Ain't nobody going to give me this shot and blah blah blah. But you just got to trust God. If God gave you the vision, just trust it. >> Then once you get the opportunity, run with it. >> Mhm. >> You in there. >> I can't wait. [laughter] >> What was your movie? What you think? >> What about the movie? >> About the movie? >> I think it's great. I think it's funny. It's very well written. Um it's something that you don't typically see in like black um comedians in that genre. So, I think that was dope as well. Um I enjoyed I feel like my character was fun to play cuz it's so opposite of who I am. Really? Don't do that. First of all, it is very opposite of who [laughter] I am. >> I'm going to back 20 time. >> I don't be talking crazy. >> You do talk crazy just like that. >> You talk crazy. Yeah. >> I don't like that. >> That's interesting you say that though. >> Because you have I think you got two sides. It depend on I think if a if a if a if a [ __ ] really irritate you or really trigger That's [ __ ] >> I swear >> you've told stories. >> My home girl Kesha. >> Okay, Kesha. >> What stories I told about a dude? >> Yes. >> That irritated me. >> Yes. >> And I said what? >> And you called him on his [ __ ] and you and I'm telling even when you tell the story. See, I could Oh, that's it. >> I don't know that story. >> See, cuz this what it is. >> No, I'm not telling the story again cuz it's your thing. >> Brothers, get it out. [laughter] That's what I'm talking about. I might be irritated, but I when I say talk crazy, it's not talking crazy, but it is like you know how you sweet, right? And I promise you if it's something and a I forgot we was on the road and you was telling a story about a guy you was dating and I don't know what the [ __ ] you once you just started telling the story. It just >> I'm probably telling you the story like that, but I wouldn't. >> You was like, "No." And I asked him. It was like a whole switch. I probably was irritated or mad like this [ __ ] tried to play me like but I wouldn't talk to him like how how she talk in a movie. >> Oh, not like her though. No, not like her. >> No, >> she was wrong. But at the same time, that don't mean you ain't going you ain't >> No, I swear >> you ain't sweet. >> I said a story like this got me [ __ ] up. But when I'm talking to him, I'm just like, "Hey, um, the other day and such such such, I didn't really appreciate that." And I feel like like that's how I >> trying to give y'all. It's not. >> It's not. It's just that I don't believe in >> it's subtle. >> I don't believe in talking to dudes crazy. Like first of all, I don't believe in a man talking to me crazy. I don't believe in [ __ ] you [ __ ] putting your hands on the like none of that. >> No, no, I'm not saying but see Kha, that's what I'm saying. I think that's scarier. It's like with Claire Huxable used to be like let the record show it would you could feel >> you could feel you almost that actually feels scarier than somebody yell cuz yelling you like yeah that's emotion >> toxicity. All they know is this. >> I know. So the calmer you are is to me is the scary. >> I need you to be calm. Don't scare me. I don't like that [ __ ] >> I got I'm getting out of I'm getting out of [ __ ] with that toxic [ __ ] [laughter] >> People think you can't be toxic when you talk. Perfect example. What was remember the movie Gone Girl? >> I need a hug. You need a hug. >> That movie was [ __ ] frightening to me, right? Like that's a that's a horror film to me. >> Oh, wait. Did I see that? >> Yeah. Yeah. With Ben Affleck? Yeah. That [ __ ] was I saw it once and that's all I needed to see cuz it was like it's like damn you cuz it felt like a woman could really when you re man that [ __ ] was [ __ ] up. He ain't even say what she could really do cuz a woman can really cuz even when I [ __ ] I WISH YOU WOULD burn my [ __ ] clothes. >> You see I did stuck in my head >> all week. [laughter] >> YOU GOING TO BURN like >> kill it >> get to that point. Wait. Oh, from trapped in the closet. [laughter] >> You gonna burn what you wish you would burn my [ __ ] clothes. >> Carlos, so look, I did stand in work. >> I know. >> For trapped in the closet. >> True story. >> I stood I was standing there for Michael K. Williams when he played the cop. And this is crazy. I got my brother a job to do for Remember the episodes with the little guy that ran out the closet >> talking about the red. He was cheating with the >> cheating with the magic. Magic magic. >> So you was standing by for the [ __ ] who got caught [laughter] >> and then Wildcat was the assistant pimp. >> Yeah. >> So this So we was on the first few episodes and then Wildcat got casted on it. But when I tell you that was a crazy ass set. >> I bet it was. >> That [ __ ] was >> Oh [ __ ] >> I bet it was. He didn't he didn't like like he man. Yeah. Yeah. >> Kelly was he's an interesting guy. >> But he like but man >> that's why like it be [laughter] he was just he just would do certain things that was kind of like [ __ ] Like he would be like >> okay here we go. This is the story. Right. So >> he already this they can't pull this up on him. >> They like NO NO NO NO. I'M NOT DOING WHAT YOU I WAS WHAT THE [ __ ] YOU MADE IT SOUND LIKE HE GOING TO GET HIM ANOTHER. >> YEAH. YEAH. I was an hour of a charge to you go down. [laughter] >> No. >> So one time we in Mexico >> what the [ __ ] you thought I was going TO SAY YOU SAID LIKE >> so I went to the bathroom and was [laughter] like hooked up to it was it was another stand in. It was a a a female who was like one of his uh like background dancers and we would just you know she would just hang out with us. We be laughing and [laughter] talking and [ __ ] like that. Blah blah blah. >> But then I saw him looking at us one day like he was mad about her having a good ass time talking to us. >> Oh yeah. >> And then the next day she couldn't speak to us, right? And I'm like, "What the [ __ ] is going on?" Like, "Hey, what's up?" blah blah blah. >> [ __ ] do that. >> And he was literally he made every And I'm not making this [ __ ] up. Every woman that was on that set only could stay on his side of the set. So it was just me, me and my brother. Who's standing >> [ __ ] do that? >> And that [ __ ] was just looking at us. I'm like, "Nigga, we weren't what the [ __ ] we were all standing." So, we was talking. So, yes, he can't get charged for that. >> Yeah, that that was that. But, you know, from the [ __ ] that we've heard, I just [laughter] I did not have like, first of all, I don't even want no deposition. If I screw up some [ __ ] I don't want to [ __ ] go through no [ __ ] cuz of that [ __ ] >> I understand that. >> But that's what that he would do. He did that. He the only [ __ ] that pulled that type of [ __ ] >> I remember I was on one set long like early. I'm on the set. I'm talking to somebody and all of a sudden the [ __ ] came out of nowhere. The look he gave this [ __ ] It was like it was I don't even know how this [ __ ] came right here. It was like he popped up and was like, "Bitch, looked at her and she was like I was like, "What? [snorts] What? Why the hell he look at you like that for?" She was like, "No, I got to go." She just vanished. I was like, "Man, what the [ __ ] is >> she like I can't talk to you in person, but take my number down." I'm like, "Damn, did I get you in trouble or something?" So, it's other [ __ ] in the industry that be on that type of [ __ ] too. >> [ __ ] you ain't got to tell me, [ __ ] >> I remember one show that I was on [laughter] that we was on, me and DC was on it. >> What? >> And they had some ladies there who was working. When they first got there, like the first group, they was they loved us. >> Loved us. >> And [clears throat] got sent the [ __ ] home. [laughter] That whole group had to go. They was too nice. Bye-bye. Think they bad was at the airport [laughter] before they even got to the hotel. Got in that bed and went right to the airport. >> All them hoes. >> [ __ ] that's that Prince [ __ ] though. You remember Purple Ray with like Appalonia did her solo, >> you know, when she did sex shoot up, you know, and then she [clears throat] was just staring with the glasses on just stared at her. >> I was like, >> it's a control mechanism. I don't know about >> you. That's I ain't going We'll have to rap. But yeah, how you going to invite my hoes somewhere and think that they ain't going to be my hoes when they get there? [laughter] I WAS [ __ ] HER BEFORE Y'ALL EVEN KNEW WHO SHE WAS. >> I'M LETTING YOU [ __ ] >> SO, HOW YOU MAD THAT YOU DONE INVITED MY hoes where I'm going to BE AND THINK THEY NOT ABOUT TO ACKNOWLEDGE ME? IS [laughter] THAT A POEM? >> Is that poetic? >> I think THAT IS. >> CUZ HOW YOU GOING TO INVITE MY HOES? >> UHHUH. >> And they supposed to act like they don't know me. >> Uh-huh. [laughter] AROUND ME, IN FRONT OF ME SOME HOES you met through me. [laughter and screaming] >> Uhhuh. >> So you telling me [laughter] just so we can be clear. >> TALK YOUR TONGUE. >> YOU WAS ON MY PAGE. >> UHHUH. >> FOUND MY HOE. >> UH-HUH. >> FLEW MY HUNK >> AND WANTED THEM TO PRETEND LIKE THEY DIDN'T KNOW ME. [laughter] >> AND I'M THEIR FAVORITE [ __ ] Lose is my ho. Uh-huh. >> And you [laughter] and you want MY HOES TO IGNORE ME. >> Come on, man. Cuz x - y = 1x + 6. >> Come on now. >> Yo, that's >> No, I know that one. >> Fun. >> I'm trying to tell, [ __ ] >> That's the cr [ __ ] still baffles me. >> She only [ __ ] with you because I ain't made them my main thing. >> Okay, this is what I'm saying. I ain't never saying I'm the [ __ ] though, right? Yes, I am. [laughter] >> But if YOU BRING ME AROUND, >> HOLD ON. I'm saying this humbly, DC. [laughter] >> No one is better than you. >> That's what I'm saying. >> You deal with peasants. >> If you going to bring me around 30 hoes, right? And nine of them like me. [laughter] THAT DON'T MEAN YOU THROW AWAY 30, >> RIGHT? >> YOU STILL GOT 21. UH, >> I got my nine, >> right? >> But I'm just saying >> and I don't even want the nine. I want >> I do algebra, bro. I'm one X. >> I'm Carlos. Carlos, you got to quote it one more time. Just Just give it to me one more. [laughter] >> So, you mean to tell me? >> You going to invite my hoe, right, to [laughter] be around me, >> and want THEM TO ACT LIKE THEY DON'T KNOW ME. SOME HOES you found [laughter] through me. >> You went through my pain. Uh-huh. >> Found my hope. >> Flew up where I'm going to be. >> Want them to get there. >> Uhhuh. >> MAKE THEM ACT LIKE THEY DON'T KNOW ME. [laughter] I'm favorite [ __ ] AND THIS IS MY HO. You got through me that YOU [laughter] NOT ON MY PAGE and you went through the likes OF LET ME FOLLOW HER. SHE ALREADY HAD TOLD ME Y'ALL HAD FOLLOWED HER. AND I AIN'T EVEN GOING TO TELL YOU WHO SPLIT IN HER DM TRYING TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN HER AND HIM. HIM IS me cuz I'm him. >> [ __ ] GOT TO FIND HIM >> OFF MY PAGE. >> OH, I wish you had >> you flew TO BE AROUND ME. >> I WISH YOU had a trap instrument. >> I didn't know that. >> Oh my god. >> Boy stop. [laughter] Oh, >> and you mad cuz my hoes liked it at me. [laughter] She liked it. >> Come on now. >> Oh god. [laughter] [snorts] >> Man, >> DON'T GO OVER THERE. GO OVER THERE. >> WHY YOU GOT TO >> WELL, SHE BEEN TOLD ME WHERE OVER THERE WAS. >> You think, "All right, I respect your rules. I won't go over there." But guess what? >> SHE BETTER COME OVER HERE. [laughter] >> Oh god. Supposed to walk on this set. >> Mhm. >> They act like >> See my hoes. >> Uhhuh. >> Act like I don't know them. >> MAKE THEM ACT LIKE THEY DON'T KNOW ME. >> Whoever you got if you got some pimping this my >> Oh my god. >> You wouldn't have never knew nothing about her. [laughter] >> She don't even like you for real. >> This ain't random. You the second option. [laughter] >> You second option. >> You mean the >> She mad at me. That's why she with you. >> Stupid man. [laughter] >> She waiting for me to get my [ __ ] together. >> I told y'all. Hey, I can't [ __ ] with y'all cuz I [ __ ] with him. Ain't got home. >> It's all right. Be like that. Hold on. Turn this up real quick. I know we got to rap, but I want you to just say that [ __ ] to this instrumental. [snorts] [laughter] >> So, you mean to tell me? >> BRO. [laughter] and want them to pretend like they don't know me. [laughter] >> Suppose you mess through me. [laughter] >> Oh [ __ ] man. >> You was creeping on my head. [laughter] >> What they doing? And that [singing] was my hope. >> That was my hope that y'all met through me [laughter] and y'all done flew them out here and want them to be around me [laughter] and act like they DON'T KNOW ME AND I'M SUPPOSED TO ACT LIKE I don't know them. [laughter] >> Come on. Creeping on my page, looking at my [singing] [laughter] >> Oh my god. >> Creeping on my [singing] page, falling all my >> That's what they would really like. [laughter] creeping on my falling all of my mind [singing] on my bed [singing] all of my [laughter] >> home [laughter] falling All of my >> creeping on my page, falling all of my heart. >> They was creeping on my face, falling all my [singing] >> Amen. Keeping on my hand [singing] [laughter] falling out of my hood. [cheering] >> Those are my [singing] hoes. >> Oh, you got to go home, TOO. >> [screaming] >> CRIPPING ON MY PAPER. [laughter] >> That what a [ __ ] cry FOR CREEPING ON MY FACE. [laughter] [laughter] >> What a [ __ ] do a drink. [ __ ] [ __ ] all my [ __ ] [singing] >> I just follow her yesterday. Damn, you know her. [singing] So you mean to tell me >> you [laughter] going to bring my home around me >> and want them to act like THEY DON'T KNOW ME WHEN I'm supposed to act like I don't know >> my ho >> I'm their favorite [ __ ] and he is my favorite [ __ ] [laughter] >> I'm their favorite [ __ ] My >> I see you. You see me. >> That is [singing] my only. [singing] [laughter] [singing] >> Amen. [laughter] >> And you got nothing. Oops. That is my [singing] >> They better be glad that every [ __ ] ain't built like them, boy. >> [ __ ] be hoes for real. >> [ __ ] be hoes for real. [ __ ] be hoes for real. [laughter] [ __ ] be hoes for real. [ __ ] be hoes for [singing] real. [ __ ] be hoes for real. [ __ ] be >> That's why you can't hold it against him. Some [ __ ] just ain't like that. is my [singing] home. >> He showed me the screenshots of that lame [laughter] ass [ __ ] You need to BE LAUGH. [screaming] I CAN'T TREAT YOU [ __ ] UP CUZ NOW I KNOW, OH, YOU'RE the lame. [laughter] She showed me that. SHE SAID, "LOOK AT YOUR BOY." [laughter] AND I HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT JUST BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DON'T MAKE YOU MY BOY. [laughter] H >> how I'mma be mad at you >> and you over there at 3 in the morning talking about hey big head >> silly little emojis and [ __ ] >> [ __ ] be hoes for real >> I seen it >> be real [singing] >> and then ONCE YOU FOUND OUT THEY WAS MY HOES now they got TO BE 100 PLUS CUZ THEY FIGHT WITH ME AIN'T THAT DISCRIMINATION >> [singing] >> That's the lawsuit. [singing] [laughter] >> He just sent He sent her the money and everything. [laughter] >> The money sent, [singing] >> but she [ __ ] with me so hard we already had spunt that money. >> That money was spun already. We spun that. >> But you know, >> the game is the game. [laughter] >> Just because you be playing the game don't mean you won't get played. >> You win some and you lose some. [ __ ] >> but long as you win more than you lose, >> you a winner. >> [ __ ] be >> now. You could be on the winning team doing loser [ __ ] >> That is my >> I just seen plenty >> of winners lose, but I ain't never seen losers turn into winners. >> Cuz sometimes even if you win, you a loser. >> [laughter] >> And a lot of the time some of these [ __ ] only won >> because I wasn't playing. >> That's the only way you can win is when God don't say. [laughter] >> It's so many people who be in a secret competition cuz if they tell you it's a competition then you going TO START WHOOPING ASS. [laughter] THAT'S WHY they keep the competition secret so they can win. [ __ ] how you going to win if I don't know we playing? [laughter] >> The [ __ ] is you doing? >> Like, don't say [ __ ] to me until we do the same [ __ ] >> You feel me? Even though you do what I do, don't mean you can do what I do. >> You hating on me because I sell [ __ ] the best [ __ ] >> and then you out here selling the best you got. >> You see the difference? This ain't even my best [ __ ] >> This just the best [ __ ] that's for sale. >> And since you doing your best and it ain't better than the good [ __ ] that I already got. [laughter] You confused. >> I don't mean to like put all business out there, but it's a lot of [ __ ] that got to be said to some [ __ ] who won't hear it. >> [ __ ] be hoes for real. [ __ ] be hoes for real. [ __ ] be [music] hoes for real. >> You see what happened when you start mixing? [ __ ] be >> and hoes. >> [ __ ] be hoes. >> You see how some of the hoes turn into [ __ ] and some of the [ __ ] turn into hoes. [singing] >> Cuz there's a big difference between a ho ass [ __ ] and a [ __ ] ass [ __ ] >> Hold up. What you mean? >> Ho ass [ __ ] and [ __ ] ass [music] [ __ ] they don't even [ __ ] with each other >> cuz they hating from two different sides of the game. >> Damn. See the ho ass [ __ ] he hating about a hoe. >> That's usually what gave him his whole tendencies. But this [ __ ] ass [ __ ] >> he do [ __ ] that a [ __ ] do. >> He [singing] going back telling [ __ ] [ __ ] that you said that wasn't even supposed to be told. >> See, a [ __ ] ass [ __ ] do some ho ass [ __ ] to get your [ __ ] >> You get what I'm saying? See, a hoe ass [ __ ] tell your girl you got another [ __ ] But a [ __ ] ass [ __ ] show your hoe [laughter] that you got enough. He the type of [ __ ] that'll put you in a compromising position where now he got [laughter] >> both of them in the room together and say some [ __ ] like see I told you [laughter] >> cuz he a ho ass [ __ ] will be up later on Instagram and see your girl posted a story [music] and he'll say some [ __ ] like go to bed. [laughter] >> [laughter] [singing] >> Come on, man. >> Don't never fall out >> with your partners about some hoes. [singing] >> And hoes be knowing. >> They do. They do. cuz they >> hoes only tell you what happened to them when they deal with [ __ ] ass [ __ ] >> They be pillow talking too. >> Pillow talking. That mean >> if your ass was sleep, you would have shut the [ __ ] up. [laughter] >> Take your ass to bed. You want to lay up and rub feet and giggle with her and [ __ ] >> What you say, baby? What they said, baby? >> What they say? No, for real. Whatever else [singing] you got in [laughter] >> [ __ ] all in the bed like Alicia Key talking about >> I won't tell your secret. [laughter] >> What else you said? I just can't get over the fact. >> So, you mean to tell me? >> This is like the Watch the Throne concert. >> You going to bring my hoes around me. [singing] >> Some hoes that you know through me. >> Want them to act like they don't know me >> and I don't know them. my hoes [laughter] off of my page that already [ __ ] with me >> because I'm him >> and you don't want her [ __ ] with him because M is me >> and since she [ __ ] with me she got to be unemployed [laughter] [ __ ] be [ __ ] be real >> sometime [ __ ] don't even want they don't want you to have. >> Ooh. Ooh. >> Why you [ __ ] with him? >> Ooh. Why you WHY YOU WITH HIM? >> WHAT? >> YOUR BROTHER, [ __ ] >> Cuz when I GOT HIM, I DIDN'T BRING UP YOU. >> I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU. >> I AIN'T SAY NOTHING ABOUT YOU. >> I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST WHEN I WAS TALKING TO THIS [ __ ] >> COME ON. >> WE LOOK AT TV. TO ALL THE [ __ ] OUT there who tender, [laughter] think about this. LET'S DO SOME QUICK MATH >> REAL QUICK. >> I'm [ __ ] with her. >> Uh-huh. >> YOU DON'T LIKE THAT? >> UH-HUH. >> YOU KILL ME, GO TO JAIL. >> UH-HUH. >> NOT SOMEBODY [ __ ] our woman. [laughter] >> Who? The [ __ ] still getting [ __ ] >> She cheating on both of us. >> Stupid ass [ __ ] >> Simple math. At the end of the day, >> that's why the coochie already split in half. Yep. >> You better pick which half you want. >> Yep. [laughter] >> But you can never have >> the whole thing. >> IT'S ALREADY SPLIT IN HALF. IT'S TWO PARTS TO THE FOOT. >> One for you and ONE FOR HER. WHAT SHE DO WITH HER HAIR? >> IT'S HER [laughter] BUSINESS. >> BUT [screaming] IF SHE SAVE ME THAT OTHER HALF, we have no problem. >> Oh my god. Which side you want? It ain't too >> sad. >> You getting a plate. You woring about what you doing with the leftover. >> That's why old [ __ ] always say, "She gave me a piece of that pussy." She ain't never gave away the whole thing to one person. >> Now you getting something. >> You don't GO TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY AND EAT A WHOLE CAKE. [laughter] >> You get a piece of it and you get >> You get a piece. >> And if you eat too much OF IT, >> YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COME ON [screaming] NOW. somebody birthday party with a bigger piece of cake than like come on then [laughter] let everybody know you already have one. This your third piece weird ass [ __ ] WHY HE EATING ALL THIS CAKE? >> COME ON. >> Come on gang. >> Take your piece and get on. >> I'll be looking at [ __ ] different man. I'm telling you right there. That [ __ ] split right in half. Two equal parts. >> Sometime it split in four. >> Sometime it be a little it be a third >> cuz sometime it be crooked. >> Yeah. >> Little me hanging up. >> [laughter] >> You should Dave, you know how y'all got to y'all got to share that news. >> I ain't feel the cheese before. >> Yeah, I [ __ ] with it. [laughter] >> Let me tell you something. I love a Carlos rant and sitting here in person and watching this [ __ ] is the funniest [ __ ] in the [ __ ] world of me. Like I literally sit I think you should do a best of just your rants, [ __ ] Like I the way I watch sermons, I will watch that [ __ ] [laughter] >> I'm about to start dropping sermons, too, [ __ ] on Sunday >> cuz you're a bishop. >> Tell them >> they don't need to know all my >> all my bishop. >> The ones who need to know already know. >> Yeah, that's Bishop Miller. >> Yeah. >> You need something notori. >> That's cuz the Lord been called me to preach. >> Right. >> Yeah. >> Amen. >> He just got me doing it in a different form right now cuz I'm saving that for when I get old cuz I'm going to need a job. >> Pass that around. [laughter] Try to get some money for them >> for our troubles. Man, [laughter] >> man, put a little something in there. Some draws or something. [sighs] >> Oh gosh. [laughter] >> Yeah, we going we going to switch over to preaching later on in in life, man. >> I feel like that's coming. >> It's coming. >> Everybody going to take that turn. >> Let's get a mega church, man. And then we'll alternate headlining every other Sunday. All right. >> And coming to THE PULL PIT NOW is a A YOUNG BROTHER WHO'S ALWAYS BEEN LIKE A BROTHER TO ME. >> AMEN. >> Now see sometime GOD PUT PEOPLE WHERE EXACTLY WHERE THEY SUPPOSED TO BE. AND IF YOU AIN'T WHERE you're supposed to be, you might miss where you at. >> No. [laughter] I ain't talking to everybody. Uhhuh. Cuz all I need is one person to hear what I'm saying today. I'm not talking to everybody. [laughter] >> A lot of people GET CAUGHT UP IN TALKING TO EVERYBODY. >> UHHUH. >> END UP WITH NOBODY. >> TRYING TO BE WITH ANYBODY. >> UHHUH. [laughter] >> Cuz you want to feel like >> somebody. Come on. Come on. >> Now. See, you can't compare your life to somebody else cuz some people would do anything. THEY ARE >> TRYING TO ANSWER EVERYTHING. [laughter] BUT SEE, EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT WHEN YOU START DOING ANYTHING, YOU GOING TO ALWAYS END UP WITH NOTHING. >> COME ON NOW. I SEE WHERE YOU GOING. [laughter] >> NOW, SEE, you take the bad words out. See, >> see, once you TAKE THE BAD WORDS OUT, NOW I'M SAYING SOMETHING. >> PEOPLE [laughter] ARE GETTING A CLEAN, PASTOR. [laughter] >> It's what you pulling out. Oh, Lord, you need to go home. What is that? I don't know. >> Tampon. >> Oh, Lord. [laughter] >> SEE, YOU KNOW YOU YOU KNOW YOU TALKING REAL when a sister put a tampon in there. >> That's for the blood of [laughter] Jesus. >> That's for the blood of Jesus. >> Jesus. >> I just want to appreciate [laughter] appreciate you. Amen. Amen. [laughter] >> That is >> She said this for the blood of Jesus. I [laughter] know whoever this is going to tweak it in a minute. >> Leave it up there long enough. >> Can I get that? [laughter] >> I need that. >> Yeah, man. >> Oh my god. >> But real. I had a ball working with y'all on this movie. >> You killed that [ __ ] bro. >> I appreciate the opportunity. >> July 24th. >> July 24th in the theater. The theater. >> BIG BOY. [ __ ] BIG. >> YES, SIR. Big boy. >> Yes sir. >> Big boy [ __ ] >> Big surprises coming through on this one, man. >> Oh, which one this is? >> Drop your social media so [laughter] they can follow you and let them know where you at. >> Y'all can follow me. I post everything mainly on Instagram. It's Kishha. Ei. >> Real. What you got coming up next, man? You keep a movie going. >> Well, I can't wait. I'mma sleep so good tonight. That was so funny, man. students. >> Uh yeah, you know, stuff. I'm always going to come back here cuz you know I'm always doing something. Ask you a >> This is one of our first guests we had, man. >> Oh, for sure. For >> remember >> at Steve studio call. >> Yeah. >> H what's that? So funny. But Los, this is why I I telling you it's it's Man, I can't wait for people to see you in this movie, man. >> So, you mean to tell me? [laughter] No, I can't wait, man. >> Just to see what the people see. >> Mhm. >> July 24th. Yeah. >> Anytime you need us, [ __ ] You know what's up. >> Hell yeah, man. >> Hey, look real Ke. >> Oh, hold up. Wait a minute. I I done dropped the wig. And I got to give y'all the gift, too. >> We don't never let nobody leave here empty-handed. >> Better buy me a gift. >> I got you some. spend that [ __ ] [laughter] >> Thank you. Thank you. >> You ain't going to even look at Oh, I mean, >> see how much [ __ ] I put in there. >> I got you a whole outfit. >> I got a crew neck. A whole outfit. >> You got you a outfit. >> I got a jacket, man. It might You might can't wear this red in this red. >> Oh, okay. >> Come on, man. They can't touch you, bro. That's just >> They can't [laughter] be moving, [ __ ] They can't touch you. Absolutely. [clears throat] I mean, this [ __ ] yelled at, [ __ ] That [ __ ] was so [ __ ] my whole experience. >> Absolutely. >> I was like, pop it out. You know, come on. Your head jacket. You know what I'm saying? Speaking of, [laughter] >> you heard me. >> Mhm. >> We out of here. That [ __ ] was [ __ ] B, [ __ ] >> [music] >> Baby, baby, baby. [music] >> [music] >> Heat. Heat. [music] >> [music] [music] >> really heat. [music] What's up y'all? It's your girl XP [music] and it's your girl Jory and Nicole >> Clayton English now green boy Louis belt >> Justin Whitehead buddy bag >> listen if [snorts] you're trying to book us for your event [music] hosting comedy show whatever you got going on. >> Let's keep it real professional. >> No sliding in my DMs. >> Well, I'm not going to say that. That's what they want me to say. You can still slide in my DMs, but it's got to be freaky. No, I'm just playing. Look, let's keep it real professional. This what you going to do. >> Hit the email bookies885stshow.com. [music] >> That's how you make sure everything is handled right with no games. >> Contact the email, man. Hey, ain't no more hit me on the side. I'm professional this year. You got to talk to my people. >> So, one more time for bookings. Hit up bookings >> at [music] 85 southshow.com >> and that way you can get your event handled the right way. Cuz like I say, I'm not going to hit you. I'm not going to respond. So, look, >> no funny business. >> No [music] funny businesses. It's just strictly >> family business around here, man. We bring the fun to you. Just had your business straight. Let's go. Come on. >> Yo yo yo. What's going on? It's your boy DC on Fly. In case you haven't heard, we [music] at the 85 South Show have launched our own independent streaming service called Channel 85. And for our loyal supporters, we are currently offering 20% off for 6 months. Just [music] use code 85%. Right. Spread it out. Code 85. 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