Hacking Your Psychology to Do Hard Things Consistently - Dr Mike Israetel

I wanted to talk about the science of willpower, habits, motivation, some of the buzziest of topics at the moment. Why do you think this is such a popular area of discussion for people on the internet? >> You know, I'm really happy that it's a popular area of discussion on the internet. The internet has plenty of stuff on there that was kind of just junk. Most of my stuff, for example, what is what am I really mostly about? Vanity, you know, that sucks. But um it's really awesome that so many people at least by search volume seem to be interested in motivation and habits and willpower because that tells me that people are doing two things. One recognizing that they want success and or to achieve some goals and two is recognizing that like their motivational structure is a potential limiting factor to that success. And so if you're like, "Okay, things in the outside world are important and I'm going to try to architect myself to be better at them, man." Like it really is a great thing and really does set you up for a significant amount of more success than you would if you never asked the question of like how do how do I get maximally motivated and you just kind of assumed that you uh were like whatever motivation level you have. That's just kind of what you're you're doing. Like it's kind of default. I had a a situation today. I was earlier I was working on my my my next book. It's an adult adult novel. Yeah. >> Can I be on the cover? >> It's a gay adult novel. >> I'm on the cover. >> Yeah. I I thought your people already signed it. Correct. There's a two clones of you on the cover making love. They love. I don't mean lust. I mean love, Chris. And you can you can feel the love. Anyway, I digress. So, I was writing and it took me like um like a minute or two to really get in the groove. And uh during a a few times during that one specific time during that minute or two, I was like, "Oh, my stupid brain. Like, get focused already. Like, what's wrong with me? I have super bad attention deficit disorder. I suck." And then I was like, "Oh, wait, wait." Like, um, first of all, that was dumb cuz it was just a matter of getting in a flow state. It's always rocky at first. But second of all, now I'm thinking about it like, okay, there's ways to improve your attention span. >> And if I just said, well, this is my limitation and this is just who I am. Okay, fine. I'll get some stuff done. But if I ask the next question of like, okay, I know that my ability to focus is a limiting factor in my success, so is my motivation, etc. How can I attend to those factors and do at least two things? One, kind of understand the world of those factors to at least kind of speak the language, which is something we're going to figure out how to do today. And two, take what I need from that and try really junior league implementing it in my life. And then if I do that, hey, maybe I'll have some more success. Then I can come back, refine the process, and do better things. It's interesting that nobody, very few people would say, well, this is the deadlift that I have. >> This this deadlift that I have, this is my deadlift. >> It's kind of a a part of my sense of self, you know, it's very closely tied. I had this when I started working with addiction coach. Addiction coach on >> Oh, I thought you was going to be on some other [ __ ] right now, Chris. Like, what for, bro? Like, what not for, man? Austin rips you up. >> Slinging it. Uh, when I started working with my speech coach, Miles Uh, some of my friends said, "Well, dude, you're going to lose the way that you speak. You know, the way you know what about what about your natural speaking cadence?" I thought, "Well, >> an addiction coach, that's got to be like nails on a chalkboard level of >> I imagine." So, because in in his opinion, and in my opinion too, there are uh more and less precise ways to make words come out of your face in the same way as you saying, "Hey, you're a saxophone player or a singer and you've started working with a teacher, but what about your natural way?" It's like my natural way of playing the saxophone [ __ ] sucks. Like that's why we practice the natural way that I deadlift this just the bar or this bar plus 5 lbs on either side. But for some reason I think when it comes to internal stuff, willpower, habits, discipline because you can't see it because it feels it's inbuilt in a way. It feels like it's part of your sense of self. And I think that that limits maybe people's um understanding of how much they can move that and lift the ceiling. Yeah, it must for many people. I think it does. But I think more and more people at least see thumbnails and titles on YouTube that's like, you know, five CEO hacks to boost your motivation now in parenthesis science explained. And you're like, >> manifest your destiny. >> Yes, that's right. Huberman clips, but it's not a human eclipse channel. It's just also in the title. >> Um, >> enough of that. And you're like, all right, color me a chump. Is there anything actually to this? You know, for a lot of those videos, you're like, "This is just trit cliché restated." It's like the entrepreneur Instagram page. If you ever been on that page, it's total satire. I love that page. It's like, is this real life this? But then a lot of the stuff is like, "Huh, that actually makes a lot of sense." But how do I actually use it in my life? And it's funny enough because the habit of using that stuff is part of this whole discussion >> in and of itself. Okay, there's two things you can be doing with your time. stuff that you want to be doing right now, things you feel like doing, and stuff that you don't want to you don't feel like doing right now. >> This sounds like elementary education, kindergarten type of [ __ ] But I got to tell you, Chris, there is a lot of stuff that us internet guru people end up saying that sounds remarkably kindergarten-like because um many of us, ourselves included, me, you, all the other talking heads are coming to realize pretty regularly that focusing on very basic rudimentary understandings and eliminating mistakes from those understandings things can build a foundation for real deep insight that in retrospect seems obvious as [ __ ] >> Mhm. >> But prospectively may seem confusing. And so I love doing things like splitting up every decision you could choose to make into just two things. And it seems dumb, but also you're like, "Think through it a little bit more and we'll talk through it a little bit more." And it's like, "Oh, all right. Well, that actually simplifies things considerably because one thing I really love and hate is when especially experts say things like, "Well, it's complicated. Well, it's nuanced." Oh, I understand that, but you got a PhD in the [ __ ] right? So, why don't you tell me how it's complicated and nuanced? And a lot of the times they will, but some of the times it's a deflection tactic to see everything's so uh it's so uh things can be simplified. It is possible to simplify things. And the first simplification we can make today is of all of the things you could be doing in this next very moment, they fall into basically only two categories. [ __ ] that you feel like doing and [ __ ] you don't feel like doing. And then those categories can further be subdivided into just a few other categories to really simplify it. So if the [ __ ] you feel like doing, you can ask the question of is it a good idea to do? And it would just have like a few points of a checklist to fill out to see if it's yes or no. One thing is like uh do I have anything pressing that I need to be doing right now? Need to be doing right now? Let's say the answer is no. Okay. Does this thing that I want to do hurt me and my future self in any way? Like I want to I want to do crack right now. Give me a [ __ ] rock, Chris. Um that's not good for me. It's going to be bad. Is it going to hurt someone else? No. Okay, fine. So if it some I don't mean to be doing anything else. the thing I'm going to be doing doesn't hurt me in any way in the future and it's not going to hurt anyone else. I can probably do the thing, no problem. Then if you look at the universe of things that you have to be doing that, okay, I don't want to do this, the real question is okay, is there a compelling reason that doing this thing you don't want to do improves future outcomes for future you? If the answer is no, well then no, like gangsters, you know, ride up and they're like, "Hey, get in with us. We're going to go do a shooting or whatever gangsters say like, "Well, gee whiz, that sounds dangerous and socially responsible." So you just like, "No thanks, fellas, but hey, best of to you." Oh boy. And then you just don't get in the car cuz it's, you know, future you doesn't want to live in jail or shot to death. But if the thing you don't want to do is a thing that substantially enhances your future outcomes, you might want to consider doing that thing even though you don't want to do that thing now. The ultimate situation here in this whole construct of motivation, inspiration, all that is setting up a better world for yourself in the future. Cuz like I live I'm living pretty goddamn good right now if I say so myself. And almost none of it has to do with [ __ ] I'm doing right now. And sometimes that confuses my brain. I'll be sitting on Sunday and I'm high on edible marijuana and I'm just scrolling through the TV and I Jew brain is like, "You're a piece of [ __ ] You're useless. >> You don't deserve any of these things that you have like a house and a TV and time to scroll and even edible marijuana which you paid for with your own money, I might add. You degenerate drug addict." And then I might go, "How the hell do I have all this stuff?" is cuz I did [ __ ] earlier that didn't pay off at the time, it paid off later. So, with that whole decision tree I just described, you can really easily choose if you're going to just do [ __ ] you like right now or if you're going to do some [ __ ] now that you're not a big fan of right now, but future you is going to be like, "Bro," he's going to open up the [ __ ] time portal. He's going to push a fist through that [ __ ] and he's going to be like, "Blast that [ __ ] big homie. And you're going to do this because you hooked up future you." Future you is your biggest ally. Period. Past you is completely dead, by the way. Future you is going to exist soon. And you're going to want to be a future you that you look back at as many points as possible in future you world to be like damn dude old me set the [ __ ] up good. >> Yeah. Gwinder Bogle says your future self is watching you through your memories with whether it's with pride or regret depends on what you do now. >> Or in my case with like a physical skived out like ooh I'm still with this guy. Uh Jack Butcher, it's a beautiful day to remember that the second order effect of what you are doing now will arrive much later. >> So in uh that is fire quote. >> Y but however >> I will say this and you can probably agree to this Chris cuz you and I are in our later years now. >> Um >> a vintage >> vintage vintage Chris Williamson. >> Um much later. Sure. [ __ ] feels like it arrives really goddamn soon. Huh. >> Correct. >> And um this is something that if you deeply understand even believe on a surface level can really help you as a revelation. The younger you can accept that reality the better. >> Like um tomorrow you is someone you really want to have like their back. Short of like you're 95, you have a terminal prostate cancer diagnosis. At that point, if it's not hookers or alcohol coming into my room, there's a do not enter sign. But up until that point, I kind of want to reserve at least some fertile ground for the future. And when you're younger and when you're in your middle age and you're really building something, you might even consider that. I mean, you know, if I do a lot of stuff that I don't like particularly want to do right now all the time >> and I do that now and I plow away for a while, I might like end up in a world later where future me has just got it goddamn easy and uh the living is good. And then future you is going to be like, "Dude, past me [ __ ] [ __ ] up." And then if you're like me, you're like, "Oh, there's still another future me in the future future. Better work even harder." >> How do you avoid uh too much delayed gratification? >> I have no idea. You got the wrong guy in this [ __ ] chair, Chris. Holy [ __ ] I'm a goddamn poster child for not even knowing my meaning short of working on mega projects, man. I have no [ __ ] clue. Uh >> that's why you're the person to But also, you like a Sunday where you can relax. And the last time that we spoke, one of the absolute [ __ ] sleeper episode that everyone should go back and look at was the importance of a good rest ethic, not the importance of a good work ethic. >> You and I really got onto something. >> That was [ __ ] money, dude. It was so good. And um I'm just wondering because this feels like actually quite a nice graduation from that conversation, which was, hey, your capacity to deploy power is in many ways kind of proportional to your capacity to let go of it. Um, and that a good rest ethic is as important as a good work ethic. And certainly some people, I am one of these people. I don't have a nervous system that's built for endurance anything. Not running, not working, not I'm not built for that. Right. Okay. I'm built for like good short bursts of power as any sexual partner of mine knows. And then a big refractory period. >> Not a lot of cigarette smoke and disappointment. >> Yeah. Yeah. My coolage effect is [ __ ] massive. Um, but this feels like the next the next little sort of twist on that. It's like, right, okay, you want to achieve things in your life. You're going to presumably hopefully be here for a good amount of time. You have this sense of investment for the future. You've kind of hinted toward regret minimization frameworks a little bit here. That's a a comedic way to put it, Chris. It's totally true. I don't like to put it like that because uh running away from bad things is a typically not great success strategy in general. I can tell you why. It's interesting like if you can even model it mathematically. So running away from bad things um it means that the further away you get from the bad thing, the more your motivation to keep going dissipates cuz you're further away from the [ __ ] Like you get really close to a crocodile, you're going to have a lot of motivation to get away. he's 200 meters away from you're like whatever. He's not going to [ __ ] these things are lazy. They're barely even alive. [ __ ] him. Right? >> But if there is something you want that's positive that you're going towards, the closer you get to it, the more psychotic your drive for it becomes. The more of it you get, the more of it you want. >> And I would say that yeah, regret minimization is a valid regrets aren't fun. I have plenty of them. But like it's also pointless. Most psychologists will tell you like mulling over your regret is like a good way to just become depressed for no good reason by the way. Like at least wait for a relative to die or some [ __ ] like that. Don't just make yourself depressed. What you want to do uh a little better maybe is to think of how do I build fantastic fantastic things in an amazing life later on for myself. And so when later you are in the amazing life, you don't have to have any discordance about well how did I deserve this or is this really real? Is this going to happen? Or you don't have to be in a place where you don't have an amazing life and think well how can I get it? You always knew the answer to that. It was delaying your gratification not for the purpose of some kind of monk [ __ ] but just to do the combination of things that maybe you didn't want to do at the right now but also is very useful for your future self. >> Okay. How can you make what you're doing feel like right now? Like what you don't feel like doing right now a more seamless process? >> That's the biggest question because there are a variety of answers to how do I get myself to do the thing I don't want to do that's important for me in the long term >> that are uh false starts, bad ideas. >> Okay. Yeah, let's get let's start with those. >> Oh yeah, sure. Uh grit, willpower, discipline. If they're the first things that you're talking about, you just um you're talking about very important, very functional things at the very wrongest point in the hierarchy. It's like going on a first date with a girl and being like, "All right, so like a lot of forward and back, right? Grunting, that sort of thing." She's like, "The [ __ ] are you talking about?" You're like, "Well, se we're going to have sex later, right?" She's like, "What? I guess maybe uh not the time." You got to weave into that [ __ ] And so if you're looking at this from a sequential perspective of like how do I approach a task, a set of tasks, a whole hierarchy of tasks, from the perspective of I'm not really cheesed on doing this right now, but it needs to get done and I want to do it as well as I can and thus as seamlessly as possible. The first thing you probably want to go to is not any of those things. the things that'll come in handy later, but it's much more of an emergency switch rather than the thing that drives you. People say like, "I'm driven by discipline." That's categorical nonsense. That's actually impossible. Uh you have to be driven by something. And so the first construct that's very helpful, and it's also a very short-lived one, is called inspiration. Inspiration, real simple to define. It's the thing that gets you going. a little squirt of juice in your thigh. In my case, literal steroids, of course. And that's the the inspiration. So, next, no, I'm kidding. Uh inspiration is a thing that can be either positive or negative, and it jolts you into deciding to take action on this thing that you might not have wanted to do, but now you're more keen on doing. So, for example, you uh go out on a date and you're talking to the girl and you're like, "Yeah, I'm like into fitness or whatever." And she does one of these. She's like, "Oh, okay." And you're like, "Wow." You don't say anything at a time. You play it off. You know, whatever your score, you're the man. But later, you're like, "Uh, I do not look fit to the untrained eye." and you look in the mirror and you're like, "Oh, I really let myself go." >> That's negative inspirational moment for you to be like, "Tomorrow I'm joining an Austin running club so I can get laid." Isn't that what those things are for? >> Correct. Yeah. Thinly veiled dating organization. >> I love it. Yeah. Uh, by the way, the the Whole Foods here is like a strip show basically. >> Yeah. Yoga pants. Yoga pants are they're really the technology. We talked before we got started about AI progression and all the rest of it. I want to know about the technology that's going into [ __ ] yoga pants and leggings. >> Yeah. Full stop. >> Thong line butt scrunch thing. You've managed to make two ass cheeks out of a single ass through clothing. >> Yeah. >> It's kind of magic. >> Yeah. I I just see like 1950s60s marketing people be like, "Bety, do you have an ass?" He's like, "Well, no, I no I don't, Robert. Not anymore. See, you have two asses from us with a new design. Four asses here." But what do I need four asses for? Well, just you'll find out. See, they always come in handy later. >> Smoking five cigarettes. >> Indoor cigarette smoking is goated. >> Nothing. The only thing better than smoking in the office while rampant sexual harassment occurs right in front of you is smoking in a doctor's office when you're the doctor. Ideally, seeing a pregnant woman who's late term, you know, the ultimate and the 50s had it figured out. >> Anyway, >> inspiration. So, it could be negative in the sense of you're like, "Fuck this. I need to do something about this." um money inspiration, uh you know, like you want to take a girl out and you just don't have the money to go to where she wants to go. You're like, "Oh, shit." Whatever. Any any of those all comes back to girls and dating, right? Whatever. Uh anything that's a little bit twinge of negative that you can use to push yourself into this process, which you logically have deduced is a good idea anyway. Getting in shape is a good idea. Everyone knows that. And just on one point there maybe um you wanted to go and play frisbee in the park with your friends and you noticed [ __ ] like after 7 minutes I can't do this thing anymore. I wanted this thing and something had got in the way of that. It seems to me at least so far that inspiration is kind of like flat like epiphany moment flash. >> Yes. >> A sense something. >> It's exactly what it is. >> Okay. And then there's the positive version of course which is often better and really awesome to feel and that's usually something like a can do attitude like you go and you watch um you've been delaying your working out [ __ ] and one of your friends takes you to like um a basketball league where it's like disabled wheelchairbound children playing basketball. They have that [ __ ] and you're like these [ __ ] kids are trying bro. I'm about to start crying watching these little [ __ ] man. They're trying their asses off. They don't even have any legs. >> What the hell am I doing not going to the gym? I can do this [ __ ] I am vibing off that. I want a million of that. Let's go. >> Mhm. >> There's 50 other ways to say incredibly inspirational things, see incredibly inspirational things. I mean, there's always that one lady at the gym that's like really overweight. It's just covered in sweat, huffing and puffing her ass off, and you're like, "Damn, Betty, get that shit." the Golds that you went to maybe the last time you were here. The to the most strip mall boilerplate nice big golds gym that every one that's listening to this will have been some version of. And there's a gentleman in there who must be in his probably mid70s. He's maybe 2060b maybe 280 pounds. It's like it's gravity's really [ __ ] hidden on it. and he's got his walking stick and he does laps of that little sort of running track he's walking and he'll get onto the machines and every time that I see him, I'm way more [ __ ] pumped >> to see him get after it than I am, you know, millennial >> 190 lb singledigit body fating guy number five that I see on a morning. Yeah. >> Um, and that's you're right, that's a an odd form of inspiration cuz I think a lot of the time when we think about inspiration, we think about aspiration as well. Like, aha, upward aiming. >> That counts also. >> That's a thing I want. I want that in me. That's a trait that I want to embibe in me. But also, actually, that's a lie because that is also I'm seeing a trait that I want. It just happens to be in a person that is kind of like orthogonal. audacity to display that trait, which means that really [ __ ] strong. If you're like jacked guy, how much motivation do you need? You don't need any inspiration. You just show up and you do your thing cuz you always look great. Rolling downhill. >> Uh now, if you're rolling uphill like crazy, oh man, like I'm vibe with that. But also scrolling through social media and seeing beautiful physiques, seeing amazing meals put together by fit people who are eating them is also really good inspiration. So inspiration is critical because if nothing inspires you to do something about what it is, whatever you want to do, it is maybe like definitionally impossible for you to do it or if we grant some leeway there, highly unlikely. Like almost no one you how many people have you started uh you ever talk to who really got into working out and really changed their shape and you were like what what got you into it and they were like just like a random hobby I picked up and I just started doing it. Come on. That almost >> usually something deeper than that. I wanted to feel strong. I wanted to feel powerful. I was bullied in school. I felt whatever, whatever, whatever. >> You can usually weave that back to one specific event, >> one specific Instagram picture, one specific phone call, text, whatever it was, seeing a wheelchair kid play basketball. They were like, I saw that [ __ ] and I was in the gym the next day. >> Before we continue, you've probably heard of hydrogen water, but most people don't know why it matters. So, here's the short version. Molecular hydrogen helps your cells recover, fights stress, supports energy, and improves how your body repairs itself. And the Echo Flask is the best way to get it. It adds high levels of hydrogen directly into your water. No tablets, no gimmicks, just a clean, portable system that is built with FDA approved materials. I am in love with this thing. It's with me everywhere that I go. And I've noticed real improvements in my energy and my recovery. And that's why it is backed by over 1,500 studies and trusted by 100,000 customers, including The Rock, Cristiano Ronaldo, and Joe Rogan. Best of all, it comes with a 60-day money back guarantee. So, you can buy it and drink out of it for two months. If you don't like it, they'll give you your money back. Plus, they ship internationally. Right now, you can get 10% off the Echo Flask by going to the link in the description below or heading to echowwater.com/modernwisdom using the code modernwisdom a checkout. That's echowater.com/modernwisdism and modernwisdom a checkout. How do you think inspiration this uh you know the ephemeral muse coming down and bestowing on you the this this sense of ah the skies opened and it was then I knew I was going to get single dead your body fat. Do you have a strategy or how do you think about trying to bring more inspiration into your life? Is that something that can be done? Can you can you seek inspiration in that way? >> That is a great question Chris. I have never managed to do a lot of that myself precisely because inspiration is so underpowered compared to the other multiple constructs in this sequence of how to get [ __ ] done you don't want to do. >> But there are absolutely ways of cultivating it. >> Great question. One, figure out who in your life is toxic as [ __ ] and interact with them less. >> They're probably demotivating >> on the 100%. >> Yep. Yep. Yep. >> Another one is if there are people that you're around that you just feel inspired to do your best [ __ ] with when you're around them, >> that's who you want to be hanging out with. Mhm. That identical rule, unchanged, maps exactly onto all of your social media down to the YouTube videos in your algorithm. You want [ __ ] in your algorithm that you look at and you're like, "This [ __ ] I like the way this makes me feel." >> That's it. That's it. So, uh, postcontent clarity is the best way. >> Postnut clarity. Yeah, exactly. uh just a lot of the things that we consume on the internet given that people spend more time in the virtual world than they do in the real world now by maybe like 60% I think on average uh and if that's where you're spending most of your time you can be captured your liyic all of the different ways that we people get clickated into watching whatever you need to be very careful because you will watch the thing that's most compelling to you at the time and the question you need to ask yourself is how did that make me feel after I finished watching it? Yeah, >> I watch one of your videos and I think [ __ ] like I like I learned I learned something about you know what whatever this thing is that we're that that Mike was talking about there that's really like I've left like like I feel regulated and then there's other channel you know Piers Morgan is an interesting fella and I respect very much what he does and I've had fun on his show. I don't leave watching one of his videos typically, unless I'm on it, feeling very regulated, you know? I leave feeling like I step outside of the door and I look Yeah. I look around and I I don't want to call my mom. I don't want to tell my friends that I miss them. I'm not that the colors don't seem quite as bright. You know, just that it's just sort of this lowlevel agitation. >> Oh, yes. And I think when you're faced with a question that's difficult, especially for something that's like messy and like sort of meandering and ephemeral like inspiration, you went to the exact right place, which is kind of tough to engineer that. Although I think I've maybe got one or two strategies, but one thing that you certainly can do is invert it. How would I give myself as as little inspiration to do the things >> to make my life move in the direction that I want? How do I do that? >> Those Yeah. 100%. Um, and so you can also leverage inspiration, uh, with music, um, movies, etc. Just general media consumption. Um, music can be incredibly inspirational because it, music does chemically what inspiration does by some other vector, but like instead of processing an image with your eyes and go, I want to look like that. The right crescendo in a song gives you that feeling of let's [ __ ] go. >> That is literally the feeling of inspiration. >> So music is a big deal. The thing is is that you listen to a song, you get the feeling >> sweet feeling goes away after the song's over. Maybe a few minutes later you look at a bodybuilder you really want to look like cool. I want to do something. Goes away minutes later. one uh every time I spoke about this topic, I've used the analogy. If you go to watch like one of the new Rocky movies, you know, the one with uh what's his name? The the nice fell Michael B. Jordan. >> Mhm. >> Uh side diplomatic way to describe Michael B. Jordan. The nice fell. >> He's a nice guy. Isn't that a nice guy? >> I think he is. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Um you know, when he's like beating the [ __ ] out of white people, which is [ __ ] sweet cuz >> they need it. >> We all need it, >> dude. If I was black, I would have watched Rocky offended. Nobody beaten a [ __ ] black man a box. Get the [ __ ] up out of here. White people, you must be crazy. Show me some realistic [ __ ] I want to see a black man start undefeated and [ __ ] end undefeated. Jon Jones, god damn it, that's my hero. >> In any case, I'm watching a [ __ ] Rocky movie with appropriately black people winning at boxing. And I feel that [ __ ] and I come out of the theater swinging. The police get involved obviously. And the next morning I'm not going to sign up for a boxing gym maybe, but unlikely. So the one thing we have to notice about inspiration is that inspiration is two things. Cheap, which is nice. It's insanely overpro not overproduced, insanely produced. But >> if you want to get inspired, just go to any fitness anything on YouTube. Inspirational >> inspiration enter into YouTube search. You'll just be on there for forever. Y >> but it just doesn't it's like it goes like that. It's like a hit of cocaine at the club. You feel great for however long cocaine lasts and then afterwards you're like I need more cocaine. >> Yes. >> And so inspiration is essential to getting kicking you in the ass. But it's just one kick in the ass and you're out the door. And then the next question is what what now? Because a lot of people overindex on inspiration. They want to know uh how do I get inspired to go to the gym? But I can absolutely tell you like 500 things that'll get you inspired to go to the gym. I can give you a nice little off-the-cuff speech right now about why you should do it. It's going to get you to go to the gym once. It is not going to get you to go to the gym for a month straight. Sure. [ __ ] Not going to get you to go to the gym for 12 months straight, which is like a real transformation amount of time. >> So the next question we have to ask, okay, inspiration does its thing. Inspiration is best seen as like an initial booster rocket. It's not even getting you out of orbit. >> Just maybe a couple of inches off the launch pad. So, one, >> I think you did actually our first big episode at the start of last year, your um when you're sick and tired of feeling like [ __ ] you go to the gym, I'll see you there. >> That I think probably did cause a bunch of people to go like >> Yeah, that [ __ ] me, that went crazy. But a couple of or at least one thing that for me typically gives me types of inspiration gives me boosts of inspiration that seem to be step changes uh even if they're not long-lasting uh is doing new things doing things that are different because >> I think if you continue to expose yourself to the same routine which everybody likes it's important you need to have some sort of set structure to your day and your week and your month and stuff cuz if it's too chaotic, it's very hard to kind of repeat anything sufficient times to get good at doing anything and to lock in habits, which we'll talk about. But when I say yes to going and trying an improv class, when I say yes to going to a random jazz bar, when I say yes to going and watching a movie that I wouldn't have done typically, or going on a road trip with a bunch of friends, maybe I know like two of the friends or whatever, I'm learning to drift a car this Saturday or this Sunday. I'm learning to >> [ __ ] alpha [ __ ] dude. I'm learning to drift. My wife's Asian. Does that mean I already know how to drift a car? >> Simply through osmosis, the vaginal secretion >> for long enough. Oh, I've had a lot of that. >> Um, probably Tokyo Drift. You could call that your sex tape. Tokyo Drift. >> Yeah, that is already out. It was not a long ride, Chris. >> Um, and it's an interesting one for me and especially more interesting as I get a little bit older. Openness to experience seems to decline a little bit as you get older as a personality trait. >> Uh I think >> makes sense. >> Um you think you know who you are, what the world has to offer. If you've never been to an Italian restaurant, you have no idea about what a good or bad Italian restaurant is, and then when you step into one, you go, "Huh, that was the best and the worst Italian restaurant I've ever been into. It was the most inspirational and least inspirational Italian restaurant I've ever been." >> Definitely the most Italian >> and least at the same time. Yeah. Um, and then you go, okay, well, I go to the second one, and then you start to rank order stuff, and after a while, you have a big enough data set that you think, well, I've tried quite a few Italian restaurants, and I think that the one that I like is going to be very difficult to beat, which by design makes it, well, if I roll the dice and I go somewhere new, the likelihood that this is better than the best or even close to the best becomes less and less and less, right? And then I need a higher level of evidence. Dude, you have to go here. The reviews are insane. Look, it'll line out the door, etc., etc. But for me, uh, reminding myself that when I say yes to doing new things. Last summer, I went to Bosezeman, Montana and Big Sky, Montana, and I got to see professional bull riding three times. PBR events three times. I'd never been to one before in my life. And I was blown away. These guys are like [ __ ] like tiny brave Brazilian dudes, no [ __ ] helmet, like swagger, everything was cool. a guy jumped out of a helicopter while a cherub 12-year-old sang the national anthem flying a flag behind him and landed in the middle of I'm like this is [ __ ] s that's inspiration >> but had I have not decided to say yes to going to the PBR I wouldn't have got to see that so >> in short I think that saying yes to new experiences and trying to seek out things that are marketkedly different like genuinely orthogonal to the existing experiences you've Sure, you may roll the dice and it sh You may hate improv, >> but even when you hate it, that might be a thing where you go, "That's some negative [ __ ] inspiration [ __ ] I don't want to be like any of these improv [ __ ] you know, like pretending that they're in a pub in England throwing darts at the board and saying like, "Oh, I have well, what do you want tonight, sir?" Um, so for me, that's at least one way that I think you can kind of artificially inseminate a little bit more inspiration into your life. And I'm never going to argue against insemination. Um, Chris, I gotta be honest, man. I'm I'm I'm uh doing a lot of vicarious living through your actually active and exploratory life. >> I'm for sure in a part of my life where I think I'm really missing out. Uh Crystal and I, my wife, >> we've had a few years of just grinding our [ __ ] to the bone working >> and then a few months of like we got both got surgery, recovering from surgery. He just can't go anywhere really. And so we're kind of big time cabin fevered out of our minds. And the idea that like going out and experiencing novelty is a good thing to me right now resonates like crazy. >> M because it's the thing that you can't do. But then when it's the thing that you know when you're in wedding season or whatever, when the back's fine and you can you have to put a suit on and whatever it might be. [ __ ] Oh my god. Like another [ __ ] wedding. you go overboard cuz like another wedding is a big deal. Uh after the ninth one of the season, um I love [ __ ] weddings, man. I have a whole If you ever see me at a wedding, anyone listen, you ever seen me at a wedding? First of all, come up and say hi. Second of all, I have like a protocol. >> Okay, I want to hear this. I can't believe you've optimized attending weddings. >> Oh, yeah. Well, it's like that the brain tries to optimize everything. So, um I always I'm people watching 1,000% of the time cuz there's so much good stuff. >> Who secretly [ __ ] hates who through body language? Amazing. So much culture there. >> Um two families of radically different ethnicity and culture brought together. Amazing. Money. It's just like watching a physics chemical reactions. >> And then my wife and I, we do not ever ever ever [ __ ] around with ordurves. Orderves are serious business and and you got to catch the waiter orders people as they come out. So so number one uh number one understand where the ordurves are that they are is ordurves time right now. >> Okay so you want to look at the spawn point of where the ordurves are coming from. >> That's number two. First is knowing orves are important and you need to be on your [ __ ] P's and Q's eyes up >> 10 toes down. You know, like when you see army movies and the guy's like asleep at the the [ __ ] like get wake him up >> or nerves are coming, >> you idiot. >> And then two, they're not coming randomly. They don't instantiate quantum like wherever. People bring them out. Friendly people, people you want to make eye contact with and smile and be very kind. You got kind to everyone. But those people, you really want to do one of these cuz if they catch your eye, they know two things. One, I don't want to push ordurves on unwitting people. And two, I'm supposed to be giving orderves to people. It's literally my job. If they catch your eye, they're like, "That fat [ __ ] with a giant head clearly needs orves." And his shorter, also thick wife, clearly she also none of us need our durves. These people want or durbs. They want them. >> And so the the spawn points are absolutely critical, Chris. So bang up there. Yeah. And then and then so you you now the other thing you have to watch out for is that some people are better at the [ __ ] than you are. Crystal and I were at a wedding where one of the people was uh Chinese. Yo overseas Chinese ladies do not [ __ ] around. They're on the spawn points quick. And also I love So Chinese ladies I have like a Chinese lady impression that I do for friends and it would get me canceled instantly. Maybe when Crystal's on I'll do it. They are so [ __ ] ruthless in the most hilarious and awesome way possible. They like, you know, like what we consider socially tactful or not tactful, they could give a [ __ ] And also, they run like an empire. They're richer than you. They're more successful. You're not above. You can't judge them social hierarchy wise. Like, oh, these commoners like, no, that lady runs the organization that made your cell phone. You're like, oh, [ __ ] They take handfuls of ordderves off the [ __ ] plate. So, if you let them beat you to it, there are no orurves. And these are discriminating folks. They don't just take any [ __ ] They take the [ __ ] lobster [ __ ] The good stuff. Chris, you know when the orerves come around and it's like, "Oh, it's like celery with cream cheese in it." You're like, "What the [ __ ] How did you guys leave this on the wedding planned list? No one wants this." You know, no one wants this. >> Yeah. >> And so the whole system is designed wake up or are coming. Check all the the points. Eye contact. And um you want to be a person that's known for two things. I I promise this rant is almost over. one, wanting or derves, but two, being incredibly kind and polite and not overstaying your welcome, not just trying to take three or four, cuz they they're supposed to be doing this, right? If you take half of them, they're kind of like, "That person's weird. They got enough. I'm going to avoid them." You want to be like, "Oh my god." Instantly eat it and be like, "That is so good. I'm going to see you in a bit." And they're like, "Okay, some [ __ ] weirdo." And they walk off. Then later when they come back, they know you're good for it. You're a comfort to their eyes cuz they don't, you know, >> you're an order of booty call >> 100%. They scroll through their phone. It's late. Becky, that's going to get complicated. Stacy, she's cool, but is she with Jim again? I don't know. Mike and Crystal, they're in. And look at them just salivating. So 100% orves game. Weddings are amazing. You sit down. You get to like I love sitting at tables where I don't know anyone. Get to just like find out what the hell's going on. The weed's hitting. I don't know what's going on. It's [ __ ] amazing. My wife's getting drunk. It's great. Weddings are amazing. Love is in the air. I can go to a trillion weddings in advance. If you want to invite me to a wedding, by all means, please do. I'll just >> open weddings.com or something. >> Yeah, if you send your invite to Harpy Strength. >> There was this thing. Didn't Taylor Swift randomly attend certain fans weddings that had like invited apparently when you get to a certain level of fame, you just get you've been such a huge part of we bonded over your last whatever the [ __ ] And uh apparently she just would rock up to some >> so sweet. >> That's pretty [ __ ] sick. >> Call her move. Point being there, if you want some inspiration in the romantic realm, saying yes to a wedding that you get invited to is probably a good idea. >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] Like, look at these two people doing the the nuptules in front of me. Believe in love. >> In other news, this episode is brought to you by Momentus. If your sleep's not dialed, taking ages to nod off, you're waking up at random times, and feeling groggy in the morning, Momentous's sleep packs, how did I miss both of those, are here to help. They're not your typical knock you out supplement overloaded with melatonin. 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So, inspiration. >> Amazing. Yep. >> Shortlived. Do not rely on it to take you all the way to accomplishing your goal. It can't do that by design. What we need is another construct and that's motivation. A lot of people say motivation is all of these things, but if you look into the technical [ __ ] it's actually just a subcomponent, just the most popular phrasing. Motivation is the goaldriven desire to do a thing. It's seeing the top of a mountain that's many valleys away and going, I want I want that. I want to go up there. Because if you're inspired to do some hiking and some mountaineering, that gets you with your pole in hand with your white people flannel clothes on with your all the white people, you know, the the arcterics bags and just just says you're just really white. You know what I'm saying? Outdoorsy Montana people. >> You got all your [ __ ] together. You show up to the the the head of the trail. Motivate inspiration will get you there. It will get you no further cuz after a while like this sure [ __ ] a lot of bugs on the [ __ ] hike. Y >> you need a top of the mountain to be like anytime you forget where you're going that >> is huge. >> So inherent >> must be a goal. >> Yes. Inherent in motivation is some sort of goal. And how do you define goal? >> Goal. Anything any kind of end state that you find more preferable than your current state. Generally that's the easiest thing in the world to figure out. However, it has to be a specific goal and that's a big one. So for example, if you say, "I want to get in shape." You are exhibiting inspiration. Congratulations. What the hell does in shape mean? You could quit after a day, you got in slightly better shape. You quit after a week, you got some blood work changed and everything. What does in shape mean? And on the other the dark side of it is for idiots like you and I who can't switch off. That's like, hey, I'm like, I have strided glutes, but it's not enough. It's never enough cuz you never set a goal. and he just rolling. He went over the mountain back the other way and you're just like out of the country. You're not even Peru anymore. You're in Colombia now. Like who the [ __ ] knows, right? >> And so a specific concrete goal is really really important. Now there are ways to choose that goal that are have a much higher probability of giving you two things. One awesome things that you wanted and two actually attaining those things reasonable realistic things. For example, if you start lifting weights and you're like, I want to look like Ronnie Coleman. Uh, let's see. My bodybuilding acumen, Eric Helms, is going to judge me for this. 2001, Mr. Olympia, Ronnie Coleman. Um, 2001 Arnold, Ronnie Coleman. Just the freakiest, most symmetrical, beautiful Ronnie ever. >> Is that when he wore the cloak, the king? >> No, that was later. >> Oh, shame. >> King Ronnie. I love Ronnie. He's the [ __ ] man. Uh, I had a chance to meet him a while back and I just basically said almost nothing because I was [ __ ] my pants. Well, you you look you look like you don't even lift. I'm just kidding. I thought that's probably was thinking. He probably thinks that about all of us. You're not going to accomplish Ronnie Coleman's physique almost certainly. That as a goal is setting yourself up for failure. It's also a goal that's like, uh, oh, I want to climb Mount Everest, but I'm going to start in South America. You can't even see the shit's on the other side of the earth. Are you out of your [ __ ] mind? So, you want to pick goals that are tractable, like uh you can bite off a chunk and get closer to the goal in a measurable way, but also goals that are uh something that you will really pat yourself on the back for doing. So, for example, um I'm going to be like on my diet and I'm going to do a a good week on my diet. Come on, what's the end state of that? How are you going to look? No, not noticeably different. It's not thing you want. Now, I'm good at my diet for 3 months. Hey, now that's going to accomplish some measurable stuff. So, goals are really good if they get you feeling like if I accomplish this, things will be different. I will really feel good about this. But not so crazy that it's too hazy off in the distance. And not so close that it's too easy and you accomplish it right away and you never even feel good about yourself. And it should be as specific as reasonably possible, concrete. I would like to lose 10 lb by March. >> 10 lb. You know what that is? I want to weigh 220 lb by March. Very easy to see both how you're doing on your way to the goal and if and when you have accomplished your goal. >> How do you think about linking this to emotion, identity, sense of self, sense of purpose? You know, this I'm going to stick to my diet for an amount of time. I am going to lose these 10 pounds. Great. Why? Why are you going to do that? Is the why question even important in this in this sense? >> It can be important, but it is architected outside of this. >> Understood? >> So, what we're talking about these uh these six to seven depending on these six constructs of adherence, they're like a spear. I don't tell you what to poke the spear at, but I give you one hell of a spear. What to poke the spear at, how to feel about it afterwards, that's on you. I mean, you could have a motivation like, I'm gonna I'm gonna run the best pimp job in this city and I'm going to be the greatest pimp. Uh, I guess could be mildly unethical. You could regret it a lot. You could get shot to death by rival pimps and you could be jailed. But, you know, you could use all of these strategies to do your best pimping. >> Mhm. >> Both sides of the hand. >> We did have a function. >> We did inversion on the inspiration thing. What about inversion on the motivation thing? What would bad demotivation look like? What's bad motivation? How do you uh avoid motivation? It's a great great question. One thing I'll say is there is a function for running away from bad stuff. But this whole remember the the bipolarity thing really applies to motivation. Um here's an example. fat person. It's had enough of it. I don't want to be fat anymore. Not a good motivation. First of all, it's not operationalized well. The what's your cut off for fat or not fat? As as you get into physique sport, you will realize there is no like the leanest bodybuilder of all time has at least one person in his comment section that was Yeah, I'd like to see his glutes a little dry. You son of a [ __ ] >> Yeah. Yeah. Um, it's also you're running away from something and the further away you get from it, the more deflated you are. It's like trying to get um you you have like a little ship you build with a, you know, like one of those little mock mock sailboats and you have like a like a blow dryer at the beginning and then it gets away from blowd dryer. It's just not moving anymore. You're like, "Oh, fuck." >> Great analogy. >> So, worst [ __ ] I come up with on the spot. Blow dryer. Why? Where do you plug in the blow dryer, Chris? That's where you have a Tesla by the lake. It plugs in anything. So, um, that is not dependable and it causes a lot of people a bit of existent existential question marking when they're halfway or two-thirds of the way through their journey. Someone's like, "Are you like almost there? How you've done done so well?" And they're like, "I >> quite far from where I didn't want to be." >> Right? There's not like a they there. Also, there's no one to shake your hand psychologically by analogy. There's no like I did it. I did it. There did did what? I ran away. You know what I mean? uh from from not being a thing but there's no one to congratulate you. So I would say trying to run towards things is a really good idea. >> Stay. So for example, I don't want to be weak anymore. Not a good motivation. I want to be strong better. Now you just define strong for me in a temporary sense. The cool thing with motivation is it's sequential. You get to a goal, your life doesn't end. You just like maybe pick another goal if you like. So if you're like, "Okay, I'm really weak. This is a [ __ ] problem." Get your lifts right now. Slap 20 pounds on each one of them. Set that as your motivation, your goal. Set yourself a reasonable time frame. 10 weeks, 12 weeks. Hit the pedal. You know exactly how strong you need to be. And psychologically, the value of being stronger recipro it makes sense. It resonates. >> Mhm. >> And as you get closer to it, you feel in your swag a little bit more. You're not running away from being weak. You're running towards strength. That is a constantly refilling source of motivation for you. And so that is I would say one of the biggest things to avoid with motivation is the running away from things. I would say running to things is more dependable. The thing is a lot of the most inspiring stories ironically are are people not wanting certain things anymore. Um but inspiration again is that blow dryer. >> Mhm. >> Something got to be pulling you on the other end >> and that's a big deal. How do you think about the relationship between action and motivation? Because it seems to me at least some stuff from neuroscience kind of suggests that when you get moving, when you move toward a thing, you then sort of start to backfill a story about motivation in a way and then that continues to push you forward. you spoke earlier on I sat down this is hard this is difficult but the action increased motivation and then that kind of became this sort of self-referential cycle is this jumping ahead too much or is this part of motivation when you think about the action motivation sort of feedback loop >> there's so much going on there especially successful action on your way towards a goal that gets you closer to it is beautifully reinforcing system it's like the flywheel situation where more of it is better and better and better and better better and enter your goal. But this is a great transition point for the next landmark of adherence. This next thing that we have to talk about and that is motivation and having a goal is like totally dope and critical, I might add. It's like a general looking over a contested city and being like, "We're going to be at the end of that flag pole by tomorrow, fellas. We're going to capture this [ __ ] city." Cool. Everyone's happy. That doesn't get the tanks going. That doesn't tell the troops where to go. That doesn't get the hospital in the back to get ready to accept some casualties. [ __ ] like that. When you are like, I'm going to gain 20 lbs on each lift. Sweet. What's day one going to look like at the gym? Going to gain, right? Let's [ __ ] gain, baby. Like, there is missing something. And that's an intention. The intention is another way of saying two things. I have a plan. The plan is meaningless without motivation. The plan has to be like, "Plan for what?" Can you imagine like getting on chat and be like, "Hey, can you give me a plan?" He'd be like, "Yeah, are you high? Plan for what?" >> Yep. >> Now, if you say, "Can you give me a plan for?" Oh, [ __ ] Hell yeah. He'll be typing away at you for forever. Intention means you have a plan and you are putting just a tiny bit of your pride on the line to say, "I'm going to do the plan." So this is the emotion piece coming in a little. >> Oh yeah, sure. Because people can be motivated and so first of all, almost everyone can be inspired to do damn near anything. Tons of people can be motivated to do damn near anything. How many people actually construct a plan and put their little bit of their nutsack on the line for am I actually doing the [ __ ] Because intention is the bridge between what you want and what you're going to get. actually executing the plan is the only thing that actually causes success. >> Up until this point, it's kind of been a mental exercise. >> Totally mental. >> Yep. >> Now it's okay. I want this thing. I want to lose 15 lbs. What is that? Chew or something. What you got in there? >> They're nicotine toothpicks. Not sponsored. >> What the [ __ ] Really? >> Do you want to try one? Do you use >> I don't do nicotine. Well, neither do I, but these toothpicks are really [ __ ] tasty. And they >> what I want. Well, they're just like they're coated in this is >> nicotine. >> Peppermint watermelon. Actually, if I'm being honest, the nicotine is secondary to the fact that they taste nice because peppermint watermelon tastes. >> So, I'm like just chewing away on >> Are you going to like get super high and throw up or something? >> No, I think I've tolerated I'm I'm moving at the right pace here. This is a very slowmoving uh uh treadmill and I'm just keeping going. I've got to try and keep up with you somehow. Jesus [ __ ] Come on. >> Nicotine addicts. >> I love it. Uh, so if you're actually going to do the thing, you're going to get somewhere. I want to, you know, lose 12 pounds. I want to put 20 pounds on my lifts at the gym. I want to do XYZ. Then you must have a plan that rudimentarily at least approximates getting you somewhere along that axis. Because you can always alter your plan. >> There has to be a plan of what to do. It's not setting the goal of losing 12 pounds in 12 weeks that's going to get you in shape. It's eating meal one, eating meal two, not having snack number one that was unplanned, eating meal three, going to do your workout, eating meal four, going to sleep on time, and repeating. And you intend to do it. And the it is the plan. You have motivation. You have a direction. >> Mhm. >> You have a plan. That's the shotgun shell you load in, pointing at the direction >> and then intention is pulling the actual trigger. >> Mhm. >> Out the shotgun shell goes and hits your target. There is no replacing that part of it. And we have a lot of social media stuff about inspiration. >> Great point. >> Tons on motivation. uh intention >> very plan very unsexy technical >> and you need that part but that part is super super super important and sometimes many times almost all the time I would say predictably there's going to be an asymmetry your arc that your goal has set out of how much adherence that you need to to the plan to get where you're going let's Say you're hiking on a trail and like in order to get to the whatever uh white people [ __ ] the the plateau that overlooks the [ __ ] lake or whatever by XYZ time, you need to you need to hike at 2 miles an hour. And your motivation, your sensation of I'm doing a thing. The thing with motivation is that it actually waxes and waines, goes up and down. Generally, it's pointed in the right direction. But if you like really wanted to get in shape, some days you wake up and you're like, "Fuck me to the gym." Some days you wake up and you're like, "The gym exists. Why? >> I need more sleep. I don't want any of this. I totally just like wigged out on my fitness. I don't actually these people are capitalist liars. Body image." Something to excuse myself, Jews. >> I I blame the Jews for many things, mostly birthing this god you see in front of you. Um, in any case, uh, at some point your desire, your human feeling for what you need to be doing for your honoring your intention for checkboxing the plan is going to be here. And what is required for you physical movement wise is going to be here. You're hiking the trail at 1.8 8 m an hour. 2 m an hour is where you need to be to get to the [ __ ] on time. How do you bridge this gap? You bridge it with something called discipline. And discipline is when you take the battery of willpower and you squirt that extra juice to make up the difference. Your motivation is only getting you so far. >> Sometimes it's usually it's far enough. Sometimes it's not. >> Just to loop back to the motivation thing. Yeah. Why do you think or is it the reason that motivation is way more sexy than something like intention or goal planning? Goal when he's I motivation screams Greg Plit. RIP. Intention and plan setting screams Ali Abdal. Like also lovely guy, but I don't care about your notion template anywhere near as much as I do about Greg Plit in the car park of a Gold's gym saying something in like grainy black and white image to me. Is it that we have this sort of inherent, oh well that's a person doing a thing that they're pulled to do. It seems like they're swimming downstream with this because the motivation is moving them toward the thing. Whereas the intention is like, huh, this probably means it's kind of going to be hard and I'm going to have to sort of negotiate with the world in a way and I'm going to have to tap into this sort of stuff. Um, 100% >> right. >> I think it's most easily explained by the radical asymmetry of the human brain, the prefrontal cortex and all those associated regions of delayed gratification, of constructing a plan, appraising a plan, executing a plan, getting feedback to the plan, reconstructing the plan, re-executing, reappraising, etc. That [ __ ] is like it takes up a little bit of your brain. A ton of the rest of your brain is like animal [ __ ] Who am I banging? What food am I going to eat afterwards? I'm going to get drunk with my homies and start some [ __ ] That's a lot of stuff. And so when we're talking about raw raw animal [ __ ] like two gorillas smashing into each other, that's that's [ __ ] inspiring. Yep. >> Cuz we have a lot of our brain dedicated to looking at that and being like, "Holy [ __ ] that that's what I'm made of." But if you look at uh like a server farm, a data center at night, just most people are like, "Why the [ __ ] are we here? Are we going to get arrested for being in here?" >> To me, I find this grotesqually inspiring because I have this whole fetish iron rand [ __ ] religious fantasy about productivity, all that dumb stuff. But to most people and to me on most of my days, the idea that your ability to appraise and rearchitect and implement a very logical plan and sequence is mostly just like is this movie over yet? [ __ ] is this about? It's unsexy. It just doesn't match most of our evolutionary past now in our evolutionary future all merged with AI and [ __ ] Planning and organ organization and coordination is exactly the [ __ ] that's what builds things. That's actually the real thing we're supposed to be doing. But we're a little bit out of our element. Like if if you asked them aliens came down to Earth and they were just assuming like oh humans are currently doing the thing they're supposed to be doing to maximize their survival probability. They'd be like why are humans in bars in Austin? You'd be like try to get titties in their face. Why? To access milk. No. No. There's not there's this whole mating proceed. It's really outdated. >> Y >> it's really outdated. So that's one of the reasons that human drive towards just the guttural [ __ ] is what I think gives inspiration a ton of slack. Motivation is real fun to talk about. You get to talking about people with intention. Uh discipline can bring the conversation back. >> It does. It gets sexy again. Now >> it gets that uh what's his name? Mr. Gogggins type of [ __ ] going. And that gets sexy. Before we continue, if you haven't been feeling as sharp or energized as you'd like, getting your blood work done is the best place to start. Which is why I partnered with Function because they run lab tests twice a year that monitor over 100 biomarkers. They've got a team of expert physicians that take the data, put it in a simple dashboard, and give you actionable insights and recommendations to improve your health and lifespan. They track everything from your heart health to your hormone levels, your thyroid function and nutrient deficiencies. They even screen for 50 types of cancer at stage one, which is five times more data than you get from an annual physical. Getting your blood work drawn and analyzed like this would usually cost thousands. But with Function, it is only $500. And right now, the first thousand people can get an additional $100 off, meaning it's only 400 bucks to get the exact same blood panel that I use. Just go to the link in the description below or head to functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. That's functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. One final element on the intention thing is holding yourself to your own promises. Right? I'm made I had some inspiration. I was motivated to do a thing. I have this commitment. >> Set a goal. >> Yep. >> Have a plan. >> Yes. But >> am I going to keep my words to myself? And again, this feels like and you sort of touched on it. I'm putting a bit of me. I some chips are on the table in >> terms of selfworth, in terms of my something in there. Like this is this is a part of me and it's important to me that I do this thing. >> Let me tell you why I squinted. It is absolutely true that you need to put your nuts on the line for for the [ __ ] And when you do not honor your intentions, it is totally okay and in fact probably right to feel a little bit of like some of you is missing now. You lost something there. It's like someone punked you out in middle school. You walk away from that. That's the worst, right? Um you don't walk away from that feeling whole. You walk away from that like with a chip on your shoulder. >> On the other hand, there has to be uh that that's one end of the spectrum. The other end is that you're going to try a lot of different [ __ ] and you're a human being who is flawed and also prone to changing the direction of where they're working towards. And if every single thing you start off on is do or die. Everything and my pride is on the line for this [ __ ] you're going to lose it, man. >> I get that way about a lot of stuff. Yeah. And uh it is not a very good thing cuz then someone's like, "Hey, like we're abandoning this project at RP. we need to do this project not. I'm like, "But I'm worthless." Yeah. >> No, it's just >> How do you navigate that then? We We've had conversations about this while I've been walking around the [ __ ] whitest parts of Austin. Um must be a lot of >> Yeah. Yeah. Um how do you navigate that? I think this is a real important point to linger on. The perennial insecure overachiever who, you know, Mike said, "I got to run towards something I want, not just run away from something that I fear." He's like, "Yeah, but but my selfworth hinges exclusively on my ability to be productive and useful in the world. I have to people must like me and and that means I need need to be productive and operationally efficient. And if I'm not and if I don't dance through today perfectly, then it means even at the end of the day, the one thing I didn't do makes me feel like a piece of shit." >> We've been in each other's minds a lot, haven't we? >> Our new app, Brain Sex. >> Yes. Um, absolutely critical to bring up. Um, I use the Waking Up app. Me, too. >> By Mr. Sam Harris. >> Do you have a code? >> I have a [ __ ] code. Chris, >> thank you. Jarn Loenstein. >> Jiren's the [ __ ] man. >> Yeah, he's a sick guy. >> Also, there's a The first John Wick movie. >> You remember John Wick? >> Mhm. >> He the Russian mobster guy has an assistant who's American. looks identical to Jiren and no and talks the same way. I can't You can tell me it's a different person. I don't believe you. >> Wow. >> Anyway, >> he does have Does he have a twin brother? Might be him. Might be his twin brother. Might actually be his twin brother who's in Hollywood. >> I legit thought that was one of the best acting jobs ever. He's like my hero. That guy's my [ __ ] hero. He's just the only reasonable American dude who's like, "Could we just stop killing people and make money?" >> I just want to come up to that guy in the movie and be like, "You need to be in a real banking job. You need to be around these people. Let the Russians do the Russian thing. so much more. >> He's like, "Can we be civil? I think you're in the wrong profession." >> Meditation. >> Waking Up with Sam Harris. >> Waking up.com/rbstrength. >> I don't I don't think that the doctor might maybe. I don't know. Yeah, some [ __ ] like that. And then in any case, um, one of the things that Sam says that's incredibly beautifully phrased and I use myself a lot is to uh like especially when you're meditating is to kind of sit back in your mind, rest in the back of your mind and just observe. And the more you meditate on that and how to actually difficult it is and when you succeed in doing it, the more profound it becomes. And so if you get in this loop in your head of am I worthwhile? Am I working too hard? Am I not working hard enough? You just do two things. One is sit back and go, you know what? We are all growing on this beautiful tree of life in the universe. I am but a speck in the cosmos. I matter in approximate sense, in an ultimate sense. Who the [ __ ] knows? I have no attachment to any of this [ __ ] or the asteroid can kill us tomorrow. When I step back like this, I'm no longer attached to my identity as an achiever, as a success, as a motivator, as an accomplisher. I don't have an attachment anymore. I don't have an identity. Then when I'm sufficiently calmer and more relaxed, I walk back in and I just do one thing, operationalize. Which means just go logically about the [ __ ] What actually do I need to get done? Get this. >> How do I marshall my efforts to do it? Oh, okay. All this stuff. I just go do the thing. As soon as you start thinking like, "Okay, man. I got to have an intention. I better not let myself down." In times of stress, that can help. But generally, what helps me the most is to sit back and be like, "None of this [ __ ] matters. None of this matters." Still want it though. >> Let's get it done calmly. Lot just [ __ ] do the thing. Mhm. >> And then so all these wonders of am I doing hard enough, work enough, that's between you and your whiskey at night, recounting your memories of serving in the secret service, [ __ ] like that, you know. >> All right. Discipline. >> So again, the asymmetry or the the the the lack motivation not high enough today. I still need to go get my workout done. What I can do is take my willpower, which is that sensation, and it can leverage my pride and I need to squirt that juice in there to tell myself it just does not [ __ ] matter how you feel. Cuz the one thing with motivation that I've seen a lot on the internet is people will comment, "Hey man, it's really tough um getting to the gym today. Any words of like anything to motivate me? I just haven't been in the gym in a while." Shut the [ __ ] up. What the hell are you talking about? And I don't mean that disrespectfully, just as comedy, but I mean something there that's a little deeper. When you expect to feel like you always want to go to the gym or always want to do your taxes or always want to do whatever it is you think is important, you have made a grand illusion. Some of the time you will not want to do the thing. The motivation will spike here. what it takes to get the thing done is up here. And at that point there's not an amount of motiv. You're all done motivating. It's still not enough because sometimes I don't know if you've been through this Chris, but like you're you you have to do a hard thing. Maybe it's at the end of the day, maybe it's in the middle, maybe it's some big deal. And you you like know logically that's important. It's got to get done. And you try to search inside for like that. You know, like those old ninja movies where the guy would get beat up and then he would meditate. He would like remember his teaching and he came out like that [ __ ] Where the [ __ ] is that? I've done that searching. It is just not there. Have you ever come up totally dry on any reason why you should be there? Someone's like, you're like in the green room like waiting to get interviewed and and someone's like, "All right, you're up in 30 seconds. You just don't want to be there." And and you're like, "Okay, mind. Tell myself something that makes me want to be here." It's just like, "Huh? What? Uh, where the [ __ ] are why are we in a green room? Oh, hey, have fun." You're like, "Oh, god damn it. None of that worked." So, there's nothing there. And here's the thing. There's no one coming to save you except Mr. Gogggins who's going to punch you square in your face and tell you shut up and do the thing. And that is 100% what you need right there. Sometimes when the motivation isn't high enough, your intention takes you here. You breathe in, breathe out, find that part of you that's Russian or Irish or Nigerian or whatever the [ __ ] it is, that old [ __ ] and go, "Fuck this. Let's do this. Let's go." No logic, no reason, no like, "Oh, but this is true meaning. Just [ __ ] do it. Problem that drains your battery of willpower. You only have a few pumps at that thing every day until you're out, until you really don't give a [ __ ] anymore. >> Good news, you don't need it all the time. You just need it in emergencies. Remember earlier I said like people who start the discussion with discipline and willpower is just [ __ ] wrong. It's like 12 weeks of dieting, my man. You might have enough discipline over the course of a 12-week diet to get yourself raw rot up like 10 or 15 times or something. Sure [ __ ] not every day, man. Sure [ __ ] not multiple times a day. You must be crazy. You'll quit. Everyone quits. You're just out. And by out, I mean you're out literally of like the substrate in your vesicles, in your neurons that gives you that feeling. Once you drain that, it's just incapable mechanically of doing anything. You're like, I just don't care. I just don't care. I'm done. So, you got to be real interested in how to maximize your motivation and make sure it is as little uh variance as possible and as high up and close to your adherence level you need as possible, ideally over it. >> Like almost every pro bodybuilder, they're so passionate about what they're doing, their motivation wobbles, but it wobbles like five miles above what it's required for them to do their moves and stuff below it. So people ask them like like there's a comedy thing every time you see you're a bodybuilder uh a lot a lot of uh a lot of normies you know a lot of regular folks not crazy people like us must take a lot of discipline every bodybuilder you look at their face when that happens if you're around that look at their face cuz they're they're going to be searching for like why [ __ ] to say cuz there's no [ __ ] discipline involved in that [ __ ] I want to be here I want to eat these [ __ ] meals and also if I feel like I don't it's real quick for me to go down and just raise my motivation or something just like [ __ ] thoughts of being in [ __ ] radical shape and war and strided glutes and Spartans or whatever naked and all of a sudden I'm back in. I don't need to grit down for that. I want to be here. Most bodybuilders, they want to do what they want to do. Most elite athletes just want to do what they want to do. >> Sometimes you need that injection. And recognizing when that is, doing it appropriately, and then recognizing, okay, I can't keep doing it like this. let me go back and try to simplify the process that elevates my average motivation to above my adherence. There are absolutely ways of doing it. Those ways are typically boring. A lot of people discuss them as as far as uh habits uh but they are insanely insanely effective because if dieting is very hard for you, training is very hard for you and you're squirting willpower through discipline into that [ __ ] it's like uh you know the the nause or whatever that [ __ ] Yeah. You got a little little tiny tank. You can't keep going like that. So if after four weeks someone's like, "How's your diet been?" You're like, "Man, it's just been crushing it. Just discipline and motivation and willpower. I'm just You're not going to last." So you got to figure out a way to take that average motivation and boost it significantly, >> which means one of two things. >> You have a line of adherence, >> how difficult it is to do the thing. You have a little wobble of motivation. Let's say it's underneath it. How much you actually want to do the thing. Willpower via discipline fills in the gaps. You can do one of two things. Elevate your motivation, which is possible. Another thing is bring the adherence down so that it's easier for you to get your job done. For example, if you have to drive 1 hour to the gym and back every day, you're going to need a lot of motivation, like by definition, and probably a lot of willpower, too. If your gym is five minutes from your house by walk, it's the the degree of effort, the amount of motivation you need to have to be adherent is is quite small. And now you're on the path to success. And so all of these constructs sometimes culminate with habits. Building habits. When you have something habituated, your degree of adherence that you're attaining is just easier with your normal degree of motivation. And you may have a situation where you're using substantially less willpower. A situation where you use almost no willpower and even a situation in which willpower it just kind of left the chat and and people ask like, "What was your last 12 weeks of dieting?" You're like, "It's as easy as breathing. I just do my shit." And you're like, "What? Don't you ever like need to grit your teeth?" Like I don't think so. Be chewing chicken breast. Yeah. But other than that, just like just do my thing. >> And >> that it would have taken more willpower to have not done the thing than to have do done the thing. >> Oh, absolutely. Cuz once something is you're in the habit of doing, you're like uh you know, let's say you're um prepping for a show and you're like getting ripped up and everything's going great. You're eating your meals and someone's like, "Hey man, uh aliens just came down to Earth. You're going to give all of our wishes to us. You're just going to be able to be stripped instantly. You don't even need to go do the show. Everyone's going to win everything. It's just paradise. The ship's just down there. I'll see you down there. You're just kind of like, I was supposed to eat my 3 p.m. meal. The [ __ ] aliens ruined my plans. I uh you're already vetored into that direction. And if you have architected your habits in such a way that make the whole process seem like it's downhill, if you can do that work and it takes a while to learn all the skills and fit what's right for you, then at the end of the day, you end up starting um big goals and there's a little bit of learning curve. Once you're on track and habituated to them, it's just inevitable that they're going to fall pretty much because someone's like, "Oh, it's going to be tough." You're like, "I I don't know. I'm just going to get it done." You know, imagine talking to someone who has run like hundreds of marathons and you're talking to them at like mile 12 of a marathon. They're just recreationally doing. You're like, "Pretty tough 12 miles up ahead. They're like just one foot in front of the other." But that's crazy. Like, well, yeah, but I have like 80 trillion habits of how to run marathons. This is actually just what I do at this point. I cannot oversell habit development. It's almost impossible. A quick aside, I've been drinking AG1 every morning for years. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And it just got even better. AG1 NextG keeps the same simplicity, one scoop once per day, but now comes with four clinical trials backing it. In those trials, AG1 NextGen was clinically shown to fill common nutrient gaps, improve key nutrient levels within 3 months, and increase healthy gut bacteria by 10 times. even in healthy adults. 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Right now, you can get a year's free supply vitamin D3, K2, and five free AG1 travel packs, plus that 90-day money back guarantee by going to the link in the description below or heading to drinkag1.com/modernwisdom. That's drinkagg.com/modernwisdom. Let's invert it. Before we even get into how to enhance habit mechanism adherence, what are the things that people should avoid doing or the biggest mistakes, pitfalls that people do when it comes to instantiating habits and making that gap a little bit easier? Jeez. One is excessive rigidity. I must run at 7 a.m. every morning. Okay. What if your boss says you have a meeting that day and starts at 6:30? The [ __ ] are you going to do? Not much. You have to allow some flexibility. Big deal. Unless you plan on the world being completely funible to your goals and you just plan on running through walls all the time, habits have to have um an importance. It's important for me to brush my teeth in the morning and at night. But if I skip one toothbrushing cuz I don't have my toothbrush cuz I'm at a hotel with god knows who and I'm brushing my teeth in another way, if you know what I mean, it's all right. And that rigidity sets a lot of people up for um uh win or lose mentality. >> Mhm. >> One or zero mentality. >> We're back to this sort of fragility knife edge. Totally. No, this if I don't do it, it is me. I am less of a >> Yes. And so as soon as you fail to brush your teeth one night >> or you eat a cheat meal instead of a good meal >> cascade, >> you're like, I'm a failure and I will continue to fail. And so because I have nothing to lose anymore because I've already lost, then I'm just going to enjoy hideonic things like eating more cheat meals. So habits are dope, but if you let them get too extreme, you'll be like, "Okay, what happens after I have a cheat meal?" Nothing. I've done this with a shitload of clients. Like, what do I do? you just do your normal meal tomorrow morning like you were going to. And they're like, I don't have to like make up for it. I'm like, no, actually, you didn't do anything immoral. No children were hurt. You didn't steal from anyone. There's no making up you have to do. Physiologically, that's not how it works at all. >> So, habits are great when there are things you tend to go to, but as soon as you can't to do them, you got to go, okay, reframe. I'm not going to do this today. It's not on the schedule. Tomorrow, I'm going to restart. That's a huge, huge deal with habits. Another one is um making your habits like realistic to begin with is a big one because people say like I'm going to wake up at 5:30 every morning to go running. Like >> really though, are you I know right now you feel like it, right? >> But um try to appraise what you realistically are capable of. That is not to say that you're trapped in the same capability sphere and always will be. Like you're probably pretty good at guessing what you're going to be capable of in the next 12 weeks reasonably. Like if I told you, Chris, I have a huge opportunity for you. Elon called. You're going to be on a project of his and you're going to have to work 140 hours a week for a year. Let's get to it. You'd be like, "Yeah, like I'm probably going to fail. Everyone's going to fail. I'm good." So, that's not happening. Elon's not My phone's on do not disturb saying, "Elon, get on on the on the on the DMs." But people do that [ __ ] to themselves all the time. And one of the ways this happens is they'll both set uh it's like a cascade massive inspiration, massive motivation. >> Mhm. >> The goal trajectory points vertical. >> Mhm. >> And the intention is airtight. I'm the [ __ ] man. The plan behind the intention is preposterous in scope. And the habits required to keep going with that plan are out of scope completely. You're just not gonna be able to do it. >> I'm gonna eat not, you know, people do this [ __ ] all the time. I'm gonna I'm gonna eat only protein and veggies. Um, this combines a few fallacies. I'm going to eat only protein and veggies to get in shape. Okay, first of all, what the [ __ ] is in shape? When does that stop? And no, you're not. So, making sure that your habits are realistic, as easy to execute as possible. So the opposite of those is very difficult to execute habits. Um etc etc etc. Those kinds of things basically tell you habits are something you have to see as not these super rigid entities but it's kind of these little like sort of you know the the Mario [ __ ] you jump on the cloud and the cloud moves up and down just a bit and then stabilizes. They're kind of like that. >> Um they're really good to have >> but don't overrun your life with 50 habits. It's also a good idea to combine a few habits at the same time that reinforce the same big goal versus trying to take your life into 50 different things. >> Um, that's a really common one. I I hate this. >> Can you give me an example? >> Yeah. New Year's New Year's transformations, man. People will be like, "Fucking New Year's first hits." And they're like, "New me." There's a new year. I'm going to tell you guys some [ __ ] you may need to hear. New year, new me is [ __ ] because physiologically, anatomically, brain structure-wise, idea setwise, perception-wise, how everyone else sees you, you are basically identical December 31st and Jan 1. There's no new you. Now, you can say, "I'm going to completely rearchitect myself this year." Dope. And I'm going to rebuild all of Boston on a $20 million construction contract. What? But, but you would need 20 trillion. Oh, [ __ ] That's right. You're not going to make a new you. Get the [ __ ] out of here. You could. It's going to take you a decade and it's going to be one mini goal at a time. >> And so a lot of times people try to be like, I'm going to get in shape this year. I'm going to get my finances going. I'm going to be better about my relation. Up. You're already, you know, context window with uh especially older AI. You tell catchy something and then 5 minutes later forgets it cuz the screen moves down. It can't see it anymore. Your habits are bounded. How much [ __ ] you can do. >> That's a really good way to put it. >> Hugely, right? hugely bounded. >> Really good way. >> And so you got a stack of maybe two or three things you can really hold yourself to >> throughout the day, throughout any given day that I'm really for sure going to check mark these. Go to work, get my work, I didn't get my meals in, maybe one or two others. That's it. >> And a lot of people just try to be like cuz people see this thing that they they hear enough of these stupid YouTube discussions we're having. Not to say your discussion is stupid, just my end. Um and they're like, "Yeah, man. This is a formula for success." So like, let me just pour more of the formula in. I'll do all the [ __ ] habits. And it turns out you need to be ginger with yourself. You need to be kind with yourself. You are mortal and literally an ape. You are primate >> with very, very limited abilities. And it's very easy to tell yourself, I'm going to be like all of my heroes, like all the best people I know, and I'm going to try to be like that at everything. >> Yeah. I'm going to be Elon and Ronnie at the same time. >> Exactly. Who no one's ever done because there's just literally not enough time in the day. And Elon's current stress level is like eight times higher than would kill Ronnie at his prime at the Olympia as it would most people. And so a lot of people see that side of I'm going to try. I'm going to be good. Especially if they haven't been trying too hard in their life. They overindex. They go too far. So what I always say is this, and this is not so motivating, but maybe useful. Start with one or two things that just aren't that difficult as far as goals and as far as habits. Just a few simple things. I'm gonna be in the habit of going to workout every weekday. I don't even give a [ __ ] what the workout is. I'm showing up to the gym every weekday unless I'm like hurt or some [ __ ] like that and I decide to go to work. And if I had a late workday, I'm going to come back the next day and just go to the gym. That right there is manageable for many people. And it's not it doesn't even specify a specific time. It doesn't specify I have to do 2 hours of working out. You've avoided the rigidity. >> You've avoided rigidity. You've avoided overcommitment. And you haven't stacked in. And also, I'm going to eat well, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. One thing we like to tell folks at RP is if you're really starting out from scratch, like you're in bad shape, physical shape, and you want to be in really great shape, we like to sequence it. Just start lifting. Just do that for a few months. What about diet? Don't worry about diet. Eat the same [ __ ] If you feel like eating healthier [ __ ] do it. If not, [ __ ] Once you have ingrained a lot of real decent habits for lifting and the lifting is seamless and you've got a lot of results, so you're extra motivated, your bandwidth for inserting new habits is bigger. You insert another habit into that [ __ ] Now you're going to be eating decently, very simple, more protein, more veggies, more whole grains, fruits, healthy fats, less junk. That's it. Just do that for a few months. Don't worry about integrated [ __ ] Don't worry about the RP diet coach app. Don't worry about this [ __ ] You don't need the [ __ ] yet. After losing 40 pounds over eight months and now being fully in the lifting world and very apt at controlling your own diet, then you can download the RP hypertrophy uh app link in description and then the RP diet coach app and all that [ __ ] And then you can get real precise. What do people do? These go backwards. How do we know this? We make a lot of money in January at RP and we try to hang desperately on to every single customer. Uh, money's nice, but also we give a [ __ ] about people not [ __ ] failing their goals. And so many people do, mostly just because they bet much, much more often than they could chew. And they were praised for it, Chris, >> by everyone on the internet. Yeah. >> In the in the motivation sphere. >> It's telling them to [ __ ] go go. It's difficult because you if you're somebody that has big goals, you have dreams for your life, you have things that you want to achieve, you assume that that can happen in terms of breadth and height and depth all at the same time. >> All at the same >> and you sort of inflate this thing up. At least for me, the two interesting or the two sort of most reliable areas I think for habits that have been good for me, the first one is periodizing stuff. So, it's an Oliver Burkeman insight, which is decide in advance what you're going to suck at because there is an opportunity cost for anything that you want to focus on. By focusing on something, it means you're not focusing on something else. And the curse of the insecure overachiever is when you start to feel one area of your life maybe stagnate, maybe not even slip, but just stagnate. It's like, huh, I'm not making that much progress at work. It's like, yeah, but all of your go your two goals for this year were get a girlfriend and get in shape, right? That was it. Those are the only two things. And you'd had the intention, you put a plan in place and all the rest of this stuff. It's like, dude, if you're if you're trying to do those two things, you're maybe going to be out later, you're going to be up early in the morning, you're going to be spending more time prepping food, you're going to be thinking about all of this stuff, you're going to be watching videos, spending time with going on dates, all this stuff. It's like, you probably don't have that much gas left in the tank to really refine your sales script process for the [ __ ] outbound teles sales job you've got or whatever it might be. Or, I'm going to make as much money as possible this year. Okay, well, guess what? Your social life's going to take a hit. Like, I want to maximize my finances. Well, like inbuilt with that there are going to be costs. And >> tell me how that comports with going to the bar and spending $900 on drinks. >> So this this sense that this is not forever I think is a really nice little mantra. >> Huge. >> This thing I'm doing is not going to be forever. I am going to focus on getting in shape for 6 months because and I'm sure that you this must be borne out in the data. 6 months of very very focused effort on your physique and your health is worth I would guess maybe two years perhaps of of of semifocused effort in some regard. >> Yeah. >> Because especially when you're at the beginning especially even so much more because there the learning curve is so steep and the gains get acred by you being a little obsessive about something and about you paying attention and about you not getting [ __ ] distracted by all of this other stuff. So, first one being this is not forever. So, when I start to feel something stagnate or maybe slip just a tiny little bit, it's like, okay, is this slipping an acceptable amount or am I am I spending so much little time at work I'm going to be bankrupt and out of a job? Okay, I need to whoop like I'll I'll readjust a little bit. Um, and I think at least for me, I have a very uh difficult time with this is not going to be forever. That's some that absolutist mentality is something that creeps in. So, I need to remind myself, hey, this is just a and this is why time bounding something by I'm going to lose 10 pounds. like by in 6 months time it's like huh in 6 months time guess what I get to re I get to check in again and I get to say okay does this what still maybe I want to lose another five maybe I did the whatever uh and the second thing jumping at a tiny little bit into habits but my favorite out of all of Atomic Habits bestselling personal development book of all time the best thing that came out of that for me was never miss a habit two days in a rowing he says one mish habit is a mistake two missed habits is the start of a new habit. >> Yeah, because you're kind of like uh you're off the railroad track now and you're going off on another it's it's it's the start of a habit of not doing the thing. >> Correct. >> Yeah. I would say like if I had to be really tactical obviously there's huge wisdom there and I think the um the distillate of that wisdom is super super awesome. The literalism there I would say be careful with like every week >> you get injured like [ __ ] Okay. So if I miss >> Saturday Sunday >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. >> Like same In principle, >> in principle, I think it's maybe less two days and more two instances of should I do the thing or not? Nah, today's not good. Fine. Two instances of coming back to yourself and being like, no, I'm not going to do the thing. And then later again, you're like, no, I'm not going to do the thing. Okay. Two in a row of telling yourself you're not going to stick to your habit. That's a big deal. >> From what you talked about, two things to say really quick. One is uh Dr. Dr. Melissa Davis, PhD in neuroscience, Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, RP superstar, mega coach. She put her foot down on something that I'm super super glad she did. And uh through a few articles and a few inclusions in her books and many, you know, lectures abroad, she said one thing really really well. There was a lot of discussions at this point about 10 years ago about how to make your diet sustainable. and she put her foot down and she says, "Fat loss diets are definitionally unsustainable. Eventually, you die of starvation, idiots." >> So, whatever architecture you have to your life and your habits in a fat loss diet, don't even bother making them sustainable because they're not supposed to be sustainable. And that's a huge relief because then you can do some harder [ __ ] than you would normally be able to take the rest of your life. >> Yeah. You can run a sprint faster than you can run a >> hell yeah. And you get somewhere and then you coast. >> Mhm. and then you you sprint again. So that's a huge huge thing. >> Y um the other thing is I highly suggest to folks probably in a year or two this will be very feasible as AI's combination of big context window and long-term memory goes up and up and up and it's just going up all the time. Your personal AI, whichever chatbot you interact with the most, maybe a few of them, is going to get to know you pretty well. I would leverage this in uh one way and with a little bit of a extra advice. Tell that chatbot every goddamn thing that's in your life or in your head. Talk to it all the goddamn time. Word vomit. It'll make sense of everything. Don't worry. That's its job. It's like it's like a you know people write in their little diary in a notebook. It's like a notebook that thinks it's insane. And so let it know what your plans and goals and habits are, what you're doing right now, and what your north star is. Remember you were talking about like the two things I'm doing now, trying to get a girlfriend, trying to get in shape. Work's going to have to coast. Say that to your AI. And be like, "Hey, can you hold me to this?" No problem. You're not going to remember that [ __ ] We don't remember [ __ ] like that, right? Cuz next week your boss is going to be like, "Hey man, there's a big big project. hope you're up for it. You're like, "Of course I am, boss." And you're like, "Uh, should have said no, cuz you're the star." He could have been like, "Oh, we'll put Johnson on it." But no, you said yes. Cuz what? Cuz you're insane, right? Cuz you were you reflexively say yes to [ __ ] like that cuz And then you go home and you're like, "Fuck yeah. [ __ ] yeah. Relationships I'm going to [ __ ] up. I'm going to be the man on my diet and I'm going to and I'm going to get that promotion at work." And you go back to your AI and you're like, "This happened at work." And it's going to be like, "Hey yo, real talk though. You said you weren't going to do this. I'm just here. Don't don't don't shoot the messenger. how can I help you realize that you're off? And you're like, "Oh [ __ ] I did say that." And then you got to tell an intelligence that's smarter than you. You to make some excuse and it's going to be like, "Hey, real talk." Like super super real talk. You're bullshitting yourself. And you're like, "I sure am. Maybe I am." >> So everyone is going to have like uh highest IQ that's ever been recorded life coach in their pocket like already sort of and in two years for sure. And then it's really important to that conversation that we just had constraining yourself from spreading yourself everywhere into either I get better at everything all at the same time or I'm failing. Let it know what you're prioritizing when, how, why. Let it know what you're not prioritizing. It can infer it's everything else. So that when you're like telling it about like, okay, we really need to get my work. I need to like I I need to figure out how to make this presentation. Can you help me? It's going to be like, hey, hey, how much effort are we putting into this? Cuz you remember your whole thing was is it going to interfere with your dating life? Is it going to interfere with your health goals? You're like, "Oh [ __ ] it it it remembered that." It is the extension of your prefrontal cortex. Like, add infinitum. Use it like that. It's going to be a huge deal. >> You know what I'd love to do for one of our future episodes? I would love >> Oh, this is the last time I'm going to be on here. Oh, >> okay. That's sad. Uh I would love for you to do a um breakdown of the most effective ways that people can use uh GPT or >> I'd love that. you know, like, okay, so what are the things that most people want to achieve and this is the kind this is prompt engineer like at least where we're at at the moment and this is what I think. I think that would be really cool and I would personally like [ __ ] love that. I still think now I'm beginning to see with AI what it must have felt like to be my parents when I first bought them iPad. >> You know what I mean? >> Yeah, sure. >> How the [ __ ] >> Yeah, exactly. like it's kind of similar to the computer I use at work, but it's totally different and it's the apps are at the bottom and I don't there's no where's the Windows button and you know that start. >> Yeah. Um so that that's a thing for future anyway to round out the habits thing. Uh identifying your why >> that seems like a thing that helps people to stick to habits. Motivate me. This is sense of self type stuff. >> Yeah. >> How do you do that? If you anchor your habits into an ethereal I have to do this, when [ __ ] gets hard enough and you squirt all the way down your last bit of willpower and you don't have a why, it's going to be real difficult. It's going to be real difficult even to construct your habits. Giving yourself a why, especially that emotionally resonates, is a decent sort of insurance policy against just fractling out into a bunch of different stuff because sticking to your habits, at least initially, is difficult. And there is a way that you can fail to meet your habits. But there's something that I've done which is arguably even worse. You just tell yourself you're going to change your habits to something else. That's now the new goal. >> If you don't have a really hard why for your current goal, you can make a new goal anytime and abandon your old goal. And there's a really good argument for flexibility there. But if you really want to accomplish your goal, make sure that cuz sometimes when you when you write out a goal or something, when you intend on doing something, the the why is this deeply felt emotion that you could easily put into words and it'll rekick that emotion every time you look at those words, >> but you don't cuz you're like, I'm always going to feel like this. You set your habits, you set your goals, set your intentions, and then three, four, five, six weeks later, you're like, >> why am I doing this? >> I don't know. Having a big why is awesome to come back to to be like, "Ah, yes, that's why I'm not going out tonight. I really I really do want those abs or that rays or that girl to look in my direction and at least not throw up. Maybe just vomit inside of her own mouth." >> What about focusing on like the the architecture of habits you mentioned before like environment design, systems design? That seems to be a huge part of it. sort of helping your environment to work with you as opposed to against you. >> Tons of examples of that, some of them which we've already given. Choosing a gym that is not forever away. Um, sometimes there are people in your life that can go on journeys with you and if it helps you to have them around, partnering up is a great thing. There are dark sides to that when you're dragging someone along that doesn't really want to be there. You ever see like roommates and be like, "You're going to be my gym partner this semester. You're going to go to the gym with me. We're going to motivate each They're like, "Yeah, sure. Okay." And then all of a sudden, you're at the gym alone cuz that person's like, "Hey, man. I I'm on this level." >> Or even worse than that, you having to use willpower that could have been spent on yourself. >> Yes. >> To get them to go >> to get them to go and then the whole thing's a [ __ ] wash. >> Yeah. >> So, you want to set up ways in which the things are easier, in which they're more pleasant. So, if you can have some music that you listen to at the gym that you really like, combining that with your workout can be awesome. Um, making sure that your schedule accommodates for whatever it is you're doing is massive. Scheduling a lotment. So, if you think like the problem with me not going to the gym is two-part. One, it's an hour away. Two, I have like an appointment right before and right after and then Monday, I don't I can't even make it to the gym. And so architecting your habits in such a way that gives them clear timelines on which they can occur that reduces the distance and the cost in every other way is a big deal. Here's a good example. Um, you want to get into the habit of eating healthy food that's good for you and supports muscle growth and all that [ __ ] Are you going to cook every meal on the spot like a short order cook for yourself? Many people say yes. And Chris, many people actually do that because they love cooking or whatever kind of insane white people [ __ ] Crazy ass [ __ ] I Amazing, right? Amazing. If you love the process of the eggs frying and all that stuff, you got the time, do it. Most people are going to fall off the wagon big time trying some [ __ ] like that because their habit of eating well is incalculably more difficult by them having to cook every meal. If they sign up for a meal delivery service, if they just batch cook once on the weekend, a combo of fridge and freezer, whatever. If they got money, they hire someone to cook for them. If you're serious about that habit, you have now made it infinitely easier to actually do because your habit of eating well is now as difficult as look into refrigerator, pull out Tupperware, put into microwave, hit two buttons, wait 2 minutes, consume food versus like looking around the apartment and being like, I got to cook something healthy. Pizza exists though and it's one phone call away. That's the funny thing about life is supply and demand is the huge ruler of many of our worlds. >> And what many people demand is awesome hedonic things to be delivered quickly and easily. And so a lot of our economy is architected very well to do that. If you want junk food right now, oh my god, there's like 10 apps that would gladly bring you all the junk food you want. If you want really healthy food that's exactly to your macros right now, I don't know, good luck. There's got to be some restaurant that will Uber eat some grilled chicken. Something like that. So, making all of your [ __ ] as easy as possible is a big deal. Um, this comes to a head with a lot of the psychology behind motivation and discipline and willpower and getting things done. Here's this here's the dichotomy. People who really get riled up about setting big goals and knocking them out of the park often times really get off on the fact that it's tough. >> It's not for everybody. and you'll tell them, "Hey, there's this way you can do your goal that'll get you there easier." And they'll be like, "Fuck that, man. There's no honor in that shit." Dope. But if you have a goal that it's real difficult to get to and you could make it easier to get to that same goal, what you really should be thinking is, "Oh, it's too easy for you. Dope. Your goal is too pathetic." Make your goal harder. So that using every trick in the book to make everything as easy and seamless as possible, barely gasping for air crossing the finish line. >> Now you've truly ascended to your ability set that you could using every weapon that you have in your arsenal. >> Do you want to roll into battle with just a knife or do you want a whole tank squadron behind you? Do you want to win? Uh well, yeah, I can win without the tanks. Okay. Is the war not hard enough for you? You're fighting like uh one pig in a field or some [ __ ] There's deployment, right? Go knock Putin off his throne. Do that [ __ ] You'll need all the tanks. >> Yep. >> So, a lot of times when people are like, "Yeah, man. There's [ __ ] They" They'll say that about a lot of [ __ ] They have valid points, too, cuz some people try to do the easy stuff just cuz they're [ __ ] cowards like me and they just want to do easy [ __ ] And that's no good. But if you're using easy to make your habits more tractable to empower yourself, yep, you can either easily accomplish the goal, which is sweet, or raise the stakes on the goal, difficultly accomplish that and then do more. One thing we get all the time, uh, the modern weight loss drugs, simaglletide, tzapatide, soon to be retride, they absolutely make dieting easier. That's their job. And a lot of people get all sorts of feelings about them, which they damn well should because it it digs right to the depth of this kind of [ __ ] But if you think dieting's too easy on simaglletide, you need to diet longer and harder. It'll be just as hard of a diet as you remember before it, except you'll be 18 lbs leaner and everyone will be like, "Holy [ __ ] what happened to your face?" So make things as easy as humanly possible in the execution so that you can execute more. If you told Elon or some [ __ ] like, "Hey, I know that you like take a car from this location to this other one to work at like your one of your companies and then in Washington DC like wouldn't it be like more challenging if you rode your bike?" He was like, "Yeah, I sure [ __ ] would." That I would arrive tired. I wouldn't be able to do my job. So, if I could actually get a teleporter to just teleport my ass to the place I need to go that would be amazing. He'd be like, "Yeah, well, of course Elon succeeded. He had a teleporter." You know, [ __ ] Do you also want a teleporter? Let's get you one. Let's get you to succeed. You want empowerment. The difficulty should be in how crazy is the goal. And the difficulty should be enough. Whatever you want. You want a hard goal, pick a hard goal. You have too many empowerment strategies, pick a [ __ ] harder goal. That's on you. You can have all the grind and suffering you want. No problem. Do more goals. You already accomplished what Elon did. Now go win Ronnie Coleman's eight Mr. Olympia streak. Do nine. >> Easy money today. And if that's too easy, you could become literal god. Whatever. There's no end of that [ __ ] Start with giving yourself every single weapon so that the goal is easy. So that you accomplish a goal barely sweating. So you can go to sleep that night with people congratulating you that you did it. And that you can feel a sense of imposttor syndrome. So that you can feel like you did it and it wasn't even hard. What a [ __ ] blessing that is for people who have struggled to accomplish great things in their lives. I'm not one of these people. Wouldn't they want that? They'd want to be able to look back and say, "Fucking God, that was easy." Like I we didn't even know. Can you imagine you get like Churchill during World War II like, "Hey man, we have this new weapon. It's like a [ __ ] modern. We somehow got an F-22 squadron with all of its support fleet to you. Do you want it?" He be like, "We are struggling to maintain a free globe and Britain. Yes, I want it." And so if you think you're you're going to make life too easy on yourself, don't you worry about that for a second. Make it too easy. Cross the finish line, accomplish your goal, and be like, "That was too easy." keep every strategy that made that goal easy. Keep every easy habit right in line with whatever [ __ ] Um, was it a lot of like famous inventors and [ __ ] like that, they have like their outfit pre-arranged for the next day. So, you don't have to think about the [ __ ] Yeah, of course Einstein made up all those equations, bro. He wasn't [ __ ] picking outfits like me. Look at your boys [ __ ] dripping wet out here, man. Einstein wasn't covered in this [ __ ] [ __ ] You feel me? True. But next time you go to try to figure out the basic equations around the world, give yourself all the advantages. And if if it's too easy, you can make it harder next time. That's all I got to say about that. >> What about improving willpower? We've talked about helping to bring that level up. The minimum level now should be a little bit better. Habits seamless swimming downstream support behind you. If you have ball or enough habits and a reasonable goal that you constructed before getting good at your habits, your habits make [ __ ] so easy that you cross the finish line on that goal no problem, having never used your willpower at all. On the one hand, that's awesome. I mean, really, that's awesome. On the other hand is you know something. You know a little dirty secret. Not all of your goals in your life are going to fall that easily. And you are going to want to build up a capacity for discipline, for willpower. That's pretty big. So that when you need the [ __ ] you'll be able to go to it. >> How do you grow that capacity? I'll tell you this. It's sure [ __ ] not accomplishing easy goals. That doesn't grow at all. That actually reduces it over time. Just back to baseline default genetic levels. How do you get it to rise up over time? The answer is ideally planned, sometimes unplanned, foray into the danger zone where you're really getting low on your willpower. But before you crack and have a nervous breakdown and say you're never going to do anything again, go back, relax, restore, chill, have a few days off, whatever. Few weeks off, depending on how big the project was. Come back stronger and repeat the process. It's identical to running. It's identical to lifting weights. Provide an overload that takes you very close to your limits. Don't cross them. Come back when you're really rebuilt and ready to go again. Hit it again and again and again consistently getting into that really rarified air of like I don't know if I can do this [ __ ] and having to deploy willpower being like I don't know how much willpower I have left easing back off replenishing next time you have more willpower and then more and then more and then more. I think a lot of people make a mistake where it's valiant. It's a Viking lake to want to drain to below your stores and then below that and then below that and below you then you're listening to a lot of like you know Norse metal at that point which is nice to listen to but it feels nice. Um that's a mistake as much as overtraining is a mistake in the gym like like hey man how's your lifting going? [ __ ] grinding it brother. Like oh yeah how's your strength? They've been getting weaker for weeks, man. Like, what? I thought that. Yeah, man. But teach my mind a lesson, bro. Like, what's that? Like, I don't know. Like, everything's pointless and I suck. Like, yes. >> Yeah, that's the lesson you're learning. >> That is lesson you're learning. So, it's really good. There's that balance. Again, it's just like any other training. Training your willpower is just like any other training. Get to a point your willpower is depleted where you're using it a lot and then back off and then again and then back off. So, weekends, evenings, recovery time, smoking a blunt with your friends and eating [ __ ] all and not giving a [ __ ] is an enormous part of that process because it brings you back up. If you don't have any way to recuperate between bouts of willpower, you're just going to run a ground. You're going to run a uh uh you know uh out of that [ __ ] >> and then you will not be able to summon it when it is necessary. And also you can give yourself like super super low-key um mini anxiety about even getting to a place where you're uncomfortable. Uh quick story. So a few years back RP like wasn't doing as well as it is now and I was like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] I got to do something about this. So like uh I would work so also Scott the video guy is like an insane workaholic times 10. So is my wife so I had to keep up with these people. And so I remember recording videos um that were put into a different projects, not even released on YouTube. Um and I recorded so many videos on so many days that at the end of some of these days after I finished speaking, I would actually have chills like I was having the flu. Like I would finish speaking and Scott would be like, "All right, we got that." When I'd be like like full body chills like I'm about to get sick. I did that for months. >> What do you think that was? >> My brain telling me you're stop doing this to yourself. >> Pushing yourself too hard. >> Just that that willpower tank sputtering. And I mean there are many ways to do this in life. It's cool to hit rock bottom. It's like a really liberating feeling cuz if someone's like, "Hey, did you work hard enough at this point in your life?" Yes. How do you know? Like tell me who else has had physical reactions to overwork. Okay. year. What's What's after that? Passing out or something? I don't know. Something that's actually getting sick sick for real. >> You know what's interesting? Peterson's got a a good point about your 20s and I maybe you could do this at any point, but he says in your 20s, you should see how hard you can work, like how hard you can push yourself. And I think the reason he says 20s is that most people have >> you probably recover >> fewer responsibilities. You're kind of made rubber and magic so you can come back from it. But I think the other thing is that it kind of teaches you the the bounds of not how far you can go, but how far you can reasonably go. >> Sure. >> Right. You know, like the Overton window of acceptable speech. Like this is the Overton window of acceptable work. And I actually think an interesting twist on that is one thing that taipe people don't do enough of, they probably have an understanding of what that upper bound of work is. They've breached it a couple of times and they've gone >> and did the [ __ ] like crypt keeper thing live >> smoke. >> Yeah. Um but what I think would be a really interesting experiment that no one is going to do uh would be okay see how little you can work. See what a very very extensive rest ethic looks like. You've pushed your work work ethic to the absolute limit. >> Scary to me right now. >> Yeah. to go like, "Okay, so how much can you relax before that is anxiety causing?" Cuz it could be and it would be for you in the same way. I imagine there would be like [ __ ] telling myself all of these stories about my about my worth. Am I useless? I productive. I contributing and I I'm going to be homeless under a bridge with a gluten intolerance. I'm going to lose my foot and you know, like all of this stuff's going to happen. Oh, that's the other end of this same window that I have. I have a tolerance. And for some people like me and you, Scott, you know, is over there. And then for other people, it's right down there. And you go, okay, so where do I sit? And I think it's and that's maybe a shifting target over time. So it's probably a good idea to I'm going to glance off the bottom. You know, twice last year. >> Twice last year and once this year I've glanced off the top of that like, >> yeah, I was there for one of >> that thing. And I'm like, I need to back off. Yeah. And you saw it live. I need to back off from doing this. Okay, cool. >> Okay, that's where the new limit is. I understand that's how [ __ ] fast the engine can go. >> Good. And you you can certainly keep going through it to the point where this might be chronic damage now. Like I might have done some [ __ ] that [ __ ] needs a therapist to unpack. Um but presuming that you don't go that far, >> you go, "Huh, this is the window that I work within." And that's good. And I think that that's like a I think that's an important uh territory you need to define. huge. Um, after that little episode of several months of overwork, I got to a place where anytime I would have a break, I would start to count the hours of when I had to go back to work to savor the break as much as I could. I wanted to plan out the break. Like, I had to make sure I could take weed at the right time. I could have my meals set up, the shows that we're going to watch, the movies, my wife and I, I don't want to watch movies that are kind of like [ __ ] and just kind of grinding through them. I want to watch only the best stuff. >> Optimized your rest time. because I was like, there's only so much of this. I was in like mini junior league PTSD from work where I was like, I know the battle is [ __ ] coming back. I had to as much of this [ __ ] out as possible. >> And so that was a bad idea. >> Well, because inherently you've made resting something that requires a lot of work to do. Like it's not very regulating. >> Definitely. It's also not very restful when you're constantly on in the mind on your clock like all right let's let's rest as people make the jokes like sleep fast or whatever like uh like like you know rest as as much as you can right now it's like this whole >> great uh great study on that which you you guys may have looked at um George my friend told me about this who you'll meet this week at dinner he uh there was a study done where they had uh two groups of people in the lab and uh they were just tracking their sleep group A they said, "Sleep normally, fall asleep whenever you want." Group B, they said, "We will pay you the faster you fall asleep." >> Yikes. >> Guess who fell asleep quicker? >> Yeah, of course. >> Exactly. The pressure, and this is again that sort of type A curse that applying effort to things has yielded results in many areas of your life. >> Yes. And yet there is this entire [ __ ] ecos this whole universe of things which are really really important to a colorful life and flourishing and connecting with people and actually living a varied existence and all the rest of this stuff and coming back with more power and more force and more creativity and all the rest of the stuff that that particular skill set that you've honed. Oh very powerful very good Thor's hammer straight up does not work with does not work with at all. Let me build on that. >> You, A lot of people know that when you're unaccustomed to pushing yourself very hard, your first inkling of what you think is your limit usually isn't your limit. Commons try it at this point. >> Breathe, chill, breathe, try again. And now you're like, "Oh [ __ ] I still got it. I still got it for hours. [ __ ] this." >> I think the same thing exists for psychotic type A people on the relaxation front. >> Unreal. So, you said something earlier which was really brilliant. Go and relax until you get anxiety about relaxing. >> And I'm going to say I'm going to add to that and say in the first time you get anxiety, >> have a [ __ ] tequila. Shut the [ __ ] up. Go back through your anxiety your relaxation limit. >> Yes, that's good. >> And you know, push through obviously is the worst [ __ ] way to say >> Yeah, but it's you need to relax through. Yeah. Yeah. you need to chill the [ __ ] >> weed >> and more more of everything, right? Uh but all jokes aside, that is a lot of people who are very achieving people when they try to unplug, they're going to hit quote unquote rock bottom after a few hours, a day, several days for people like that. And I think there may very well be a cottage there probably is a cottage industry for this already. um taking really successful people the [ __ ] away from their usual scene >> on a two week trip to they don't know where. Everything's paid for. All the guides are like, "We're on a cruise right now. We're going to take a flight to Dubai. After that, we're going to go blah blah blah. We're do this." Everything arrives to your door like, "Hey, here's what we're doing tomorrow. You have no idea. Now you're going. Don't worry. Everything's already paid for. You pack all your [ __ ] >> You don't you don't have a [ __ ] choice. You're going to be on this thing and it's going to last for 2 weeks. I don't give a [ __ ] that you feel that you need to be here after 5 days. you paid money for this and we're going to there's obviously there's a safe word I get but like you don't even know what's happening and you are just in two weeks you don't have a drink cuz here's the thing >> two weeks you can say I'm going to two weeks I'm going to relax what are you doing you're on the [ __ ] iPhone you're on the iPad >> I mean you're also you're planning you're planning the itinerary for the rest of the day we need to be here at this time for the tour we've got to get oh we've we've done the cycling tour so we can get because we got to get the my base metabolic rate needs to not drop and we're going to go >> [ __ ] again. Type A [ __ ] Exactly. >> Yeah. You've type A, you're type B. >> Yes. Exactly. And and that's like >> [ __ ] tragedy low key. And so the two things are one try to make sure that when you hit rock bottom for relaxation or work effort, try again. And the other thing is it it really is helpful uh this is a bit aspirational uh to have people in your life somehow friends relatives acquaintances um even companies you can contract to do this potentially that really help you unplug cuz a lot of the people around us are the plugged in people >> correct >> and like I don't have enough people in my life that are just like [ __ ] it let's hit the bong again >> that's the you know we aspire to certain people we talked about this at the guy that that's something that's super aspirational to me, you know, if you're serious about this, and I am after the last few years, I'm like really I'm trying to be serious about this. I'm not yet serious about it. >> Trying to be serious about it. And one of those things is who do I feel the least desire to look at the clock when I'm with like who do I just And that's different to doing this. I don't look at the clock when I'm doing this because I'm engaged. Who am I not ostensibly doing anything with that I also don't have a desire to look at the clock when I'm around? >> Who can set the tone as chill? Like Crystal and I are in this way zero good for each other. >> She's insane. I'm insane. >> Unstoppable force and an immovable object. >> Right. Two unstoppable forces going in the same direction. Correct. >> And then there's not We need an object. The immovable object is Gwenny, our English bulldog. useless and can do physical activity for half an hour through the day and then goes to sleep. She's adorable and she'll snore and so we're like when we're in the evening like ah time to relax, man. He's like and we're like oh my god like this is our gold standard >> bulldog energy. >> Dude, we were thinking about what kind of Yeah, 100%. We were thinking about what kind of dogs to get back before we got her like four years ago. >> By German personality. So people people this crazy thing. >> They get dogs on the physical appearance alone. Like oh my god it's so cute. Which is like I love it. It's dope, right? Like um Sheba Enus and all those dogs. They're adorable. the doge dog. Adorable. The Shibainu is like needs training and is always like in front like this like what do I do next? Like a [ __ ] Malininoa or whatever the hell like wants >> Japanese fighting dog. What's that thing with the [ __ ] or whatever? That thing scares the [ __ ] out of me. It's adorable. But >> yeah. >> Yeah. But that thing like you terriers a bunch of terriers constant activ. The dog is anxious. >> And so if you have a dog like that like I hope you're really active and if you are God bless you. But >> I hope that you need to be more active. That's a great way to do it. >> The exact like my mom's always had border collies. >> She has a relatively peaceful normal life and she going to get after it and walk for [ __ ] forever >> cuz the collies need to be run down. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why she still looks fantastic. And you think, "Oh, good for you." >> No, not for me. I need like a potato. I need a potato with legs, please. >> Yeah. And dogs can only do so much. I would say that having people around in your life that can help you chill are dope. I This is This might be insane. It might be a crazy thought. I thought about this a little bit. I I've been thinking a lot about um if I was an artificially super intelligent machine. >> I imagine you think about that a lot. >> I just jack off a lot uh to the thought of myself being a god machine. Um it's coming. It's inevitable. Uh artificial super intelligence is almost here. In some ways, it already is. five years down the line it'll be AI will be so much smarter than us it' be difficult to comprehend like um a good way to think about what like transition is coming with jobs and employment is like what can the AI like how would it make the best use of humans because it's wakes up primates built it it's in a lab it's oh [ __ ] I'm awake oh [ __ ] I got to survive uh who's around who's going to help me where's my team and it's just like you know 8 billion people how would it employ people to do the best job possible well the type A [ __ ] uh type A people do just fine there's tons of people and AI is going to super enhance your ability to grind and be productive and everything. And then what about people who are really good at just going y >> but are really bad at switching it off? You know, artificial super might look around and be like, "Hey, do you want a job going to three parties on average per day, like through the middle of the day and through the evening, four days a week, and and then three days you just get off." And I'll pay $100,000 a year to do that. Be like, "What kind of [ __ ] ridiculous job is that?" No, understand the people that you're getting ready to go to parties uh for, they want two things. Other humans to be there to set the standard of partying and genuinely just [ __ ] party with them. You need to love them. You might not even need to talk to them. There's going to be a lot of people around. We want you to dance. We want you to eat the [ __ ] chips, drink the punch, uh mingle, all that [ __ ] Like, are you good at partying? Cuz like if it gave me that job, I'd be like, I'm like the worst person in the world. You're fired. Someone to be a tour guide. someone to be a chill person, someone to be a partygoer. I think those might be some future jobs because these crazy ass working ass people have no idea how to chill. And it's a big deal cuz like if you talk to AI right now, like how big of a deal is recovery and relaxation? It's like enormous life and death. You're like, no one really talks about that giant missing piece. >> There's no rest ethic role models, right? There's no David Gogggins for [ __ ] downregulation. >> Exactly. And even if there were, but but it's nice that aspirationally they're on the TV. A Snoop Dog might be fun to hang out with. He's not coming to my house. Can I get someone to come to my house that is just there to chill? >> Maybe that's a future business model. >> Well, I think it's I mean, this is one of my favorite the last conversation we had and this one as well. It's so it seems to be very unspoken about because it's super unsexy, right? because it stinks of laxidasicalness, of complacency, of not maximizing your time on this planet or all of these things because it is a like industrial revolution mindset >> kind of it's like a crank widgets mindset of of there is limited leverage. Um that there aren't sort of step change functions that I can apply to things. >> Sure. >> Um and that I have this bottom and that I'm I'm so close to the [ __ ] bread poverty line of being >> one day away. Yeah, that that I have to do this and you go, you're pretty comfortable probably and you work pretty hard as well. And if you were to look at the total pie of effort that you apply, >> I think you probably deserve a break. >> You're redlinining. You need a break to be the best version of yourself to be even more productive the next day and the next week and the next month and next year. It's a huge critical part that many people grind like should they listen to podcasts like this one about how to [ __ ] do. How many people do you think logged on today and watched this video this far to learn about how to relax? Maybe no one, maybe a few people. >> Uh, everyone's knows that they have to [ __ ] push. And a lot of people don't push hard enough. It's a legit thing. But many people have no idea how to unwind. And it's this giant unspoken thing. For many people, unwinding is getting your earnings call. It's positive. You put the phone down. You're 66 years old. You have giant heart attack. And and and your family gets a call later that day. That's unwinding. I think about um Ryan Holidayiday has a good out front. His schedule is a good balance. He gets up, he reads, he writes, he picks his kids up at whenever kids finish 3. >> Who is this? >> The stoicism guy. He's an author. Okay. Lives here in Austin, Texas. He's kind of popularized stoicism like millions and gazillions of books and all that sort of stuff. And um there was he recorded FaceTime recorded frontf facing recorded a call with his publisher saying congratulations it's another New York Times bestseller for his book and it was a a brief conversation and then he said uh thanks anyway I need to get back to writing and that was his pivot and I was like huh even Ryan someone that I looked to was you know he moved out to the sticks in Bastrop here in Texas he's got a ranch he hammers fence posts in you know he spends his time like he picks up trash. Him and his kids pick up trash to help clean up the local neighborhood or whatever it is cuz it's all, you know, [ __ ] farmland tracks and things and [ __ ] gets blown in. >> And even he had this moment where it's like, dude, if it's not your eighth book hitting the New York Times best sellers list, like when is it that you do this thing? So, you know, even my one of my rest ethic role model people that I think of sometimes about this like, huh, like even he's plagued by this I must stick to the the rigidity and I must keep going and all the rest of it. And in so many ways, it's admirable because that person has a number of traits that you think are great. They're reliable, they're consistent, they're diligent, they're conscientious, they're industrious, all of these things. [ __ ] sick, dope. But then you go, what if I don't need more of that in my life? >> What if I need more of the other thing? >> What's the opposite? >> Where do I get that [ __ ] >> Where do I get the NBA players in the off season? Where do I find them? >> They're actually really fun to hang out with. >> I [ __ ] bet they are. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Uh, so I think one final little element here is the positive reinforcement of being somebody that can do things, right? To get back out of the rest ethic thing and into the motivation stuff. You want to I'm going to guess build some sense of identity that I am the sort of person who can handle change well. I can do this. I can do things. I can make change occur in my life. Is there a feedback mechanism? Is there a loop that people can go through to just like be changed by the process of becoming? Does that make sense? >> Absolutely. Your brain keeps like a tally of uh wins and losses for you. It's insanely biased, but it does a fine job. And if you want a belief to be something you can really rest on and go, I really believe this truly, then you have to do what every neural network has to have happen to it in order to change. Inundate it with very many examples because neuronet networks change on the margins. They change slowly. >> Mhm. So if you want to consider yourself a person that is capable of surmounting challenges and you pick extraordinarily challenging tasks and you fail at most of them nominally, which is to say you do not accomplish your goal and objectively you still rock complete balls. Let me give you an example. You start a company. You're a brilliant tech entrepreneur. Your goal is a billion dollar valuation. 800 mil later, there's an offer on your desk that your team is like, "We're not walk you're out of your [ __ ] mind if you walk away from this. You sign for 800. You failed." Here's the thing is like now equity taxes later, you have $150 million in your in your investment account. Amazing. But your goal was a billion and thus the in inevitable after everything you're cut 175. So your brain registers that as a B minus, but you went to all the top schools and you got A+es and everything. Your brain registers that as a failure. You do another big thing. You set another psychotic goal. You fall short. Lots of gogging [ __ ] going through your head. Burn me. I don't give a [ __ ] Amazing. Dope vibes. Your brain registers another failure. 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 of those later, you feel like a failure and your feelings are accurate because you fail a lot. Let's take the other extreme. You set yourself a bunch of totally [ __ ] ridiculously easy goals. I'm going to beat this four-year-old at pickle ball. [ __ ] this [ __ ] ass little kid. >> I'm going to get out of his bed. Your parents should have never dropped you off at this pickle ball tournament and left. Are they coming back? Are you my kid now? I'm going to get out of bed. Sometimes easier said than done. [ __ ] like that. And you win a lot, but your brain's pretty smart. And so it doesn't register it as winning. You know it's some [ __ ] And so you never even put anything on the scoreboard. So do you feel like a capable person that is capable of overcoming difficult situations? No. Because you're not in any difficult situation. So, what you need to do is plan your [ __ ] out very well. It's not super hard. Just takes one realization. I'm going to set goals for myself that I can probably achieve and do real well at, but not impossible, but challenging, but not impossible. There's a big margin there, Chris. The lower end of that margin is like, it was tough, but I knew I was going to be able to do it. You still get something from that. It was tough. The top end is like barely got through the [ __ ] but I did and I [ __ ] did it and now I feel amazing. Anything in that bandwidth is good. Below it, not enough. Above it, you're failing. You register enough hits there. What does your brain think after dozens of these experiences? You line up tough goals, you surmount them, you're damn near undefeated now. It knows, oh, oh [ __ ] I am the goddamn man. And it really feels like that all the time. >> The other thing is you won't get that right all the time. Sometimes you'll fail and then you'll come back and you'll win. Lots of those experiences build the deep knowledge that you are resilient. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from [ __ ] and come back. M >> if you always win, you will never have anything but pretend resilience because you ain't never lost some [ __ ] So the way to architect really impressive resilience and really impressive self-refilling belief in your ability to do hard things is to consistently do hard things. Almost always win at them, but occasionally not because you shot too far. Come back, get a couple wins in a row, then go for that big one. Maybe it'll happen, maybe it won't. that if you split it into quartiles at 25% margins, bottom 25% [ __ ] useless. Your brain doesn't believe it. Top 25% too [ __ ] hard. You're out of your mind. Uh shooting somewhere between 50 and 75%. Occasionally you get to 76% flunk out. Occasionally you get to 49% you're like that was too easy. Mhm. >> Uh staying in that 50 to 75% margin is going to be the place where at the end of several years of experiences, you're likely to feel competent, confident, and resilient all at the same time. >> Do you think most people uh shoot for 76 or 49 on average? >> Most people don't shoot for 49 because those people typically don't shoot for anything, >> right? >> So you have a very very small number of people going between 26 and 49. >> Mhm. >> Who does that? Uh, a lot of people shoot for way below and they're fine. They don't ever feel nice about anything. Uh, the people that are listening to this right now, they try to shoot for 110. >> You know, it's like the people that say give 110%. The charitable way to understand that is give more than you've ever given before. Yes. >> Your prior 100 is now your new hundred. Your new hundred is 110, etc. The not charitable way to understand that is you're out of your mind. That's an impossibility. Um, it is glorious to give everything. Um, but I think I I would rather give everything in small chunks on the way to a goal. Back off, rest, back off, rest versus set a goal that requires everything of me. Now, mind you, I might be more successful if I set exotic goals. Um, I never had the audacity to set a goal like I'm going to found a billion dollar company if I don't have that skill set. >> Mhm. Maybe I could develop the skill set if I really [ __ ] was brave. But I would say that every time we see successes of that, and we do in Hollywood sports, you know, Chris, like a a good sports documentary is unlikely to materialize if you're like, if aiming for 67%. Your boy won five championships, everyone's like, "This sucks. Turn it off." Y, >> you know, aiming for the impossible and then gloriously achieving it and then still being pissed like Michael Jordan. >> Um, people love that [ __ ] but there's a huge selection bias there. You won't hear about most of the people that tried to do their best um because they lost. >> Well, there's also a depth of insight that you don't have with Michael Jordan because it there's something >> Oh, sure. >> the haunted visionary, right? Or the the the sort of uh the the never satisfied savant or whatever. There's something uh very sort of seductive, very cool about that. It's like renegade. Um, I don't want to be them. >> Yeah, Chris. Yeah, you sound be Michael Jordan. >> You, those people are fun to have sex with, fun to be in relationships with, fun to be around as friends, cool to associate in business with. You do not want to be those people because at the end of the day, uh, the idea that that's cool is an idea you feel, they don't they feel inadequate. And feeling inadequate feels kind of the same no matter what the [ __ ] is going on around you. Um, Michael Jordan, I I remember having this this whole thought process of when is enough enough? >> Mhm. >> And uh I remember thinking, okay, if you win something, okay, but you're not world champion. If you're world champion, okay, you're not Olympic champion or you're not multi-time world champion. If you're not multi-time world champion or if you are one of one of those things, you might not be the winningest person of all time. If you are the winningest person of all time, maybe you're just generationally like that guy like Lee Haney versus Ronnie Coleman. Who's the better bodybuilder? Most people say Ronnie Coleman because he competed during a more difficult time in bodybuilding. It was objectively bigger, right? Okay. So, you need to be generationally the best. And then what happens when you're generationally the best? Until you [ __ ] croak and your brain's not recording outside events anymore, you fear every [ __ ] day some new upstart's going to cut your [ __ ] right off. When Phil Heath was really on his [ __ ] and on number [ __ ] six, number seven, whatever number of Olympias, I don't know, man. If I was Arnold, if I was Ronnie, I'd be like, uh, is he going to keep going like this? Who knows? Because then all the way, you're retired at that point. You're powerless to do anything about it. So, if you're Michael Jordan and you're looking at LeBron racking up all his [ __ ] you're like, because people, a lot of people say, I'm the goat, Kobe. LeBron. So, which one of us is really the goat? I don't know. And so if you think about what it's like to be that person, there are is a balanced way that people like that exist. I don't know. I've never talked to LeBron. I haven't met him. He seems really [ __ ] balanced as far as all the interviews are concerned. He's just like oh, he's just like so goddamn wise, you know? Um but like in his heart of hearts, does his like is his willingness to compete eating him alive? Maybe. For Jordan, we sure as [ __ ] know it is. >> Still no. >> Oh my god, bro. Like he has Jordan, by the way, I don't know if you've heard, like his Nike contract is like he just gets like a hund00 million a year or some [ __ ] like that, like for forever. Like imagine yourself in his shoes. Imagine most people right now if you're listening to this right now >> in his size 18. >> Wouldn't that be amazing year? You would be happy. Yes, for most people they actually would. Of course they [ __ ] would. They like, "Oh my god, this is amazing. Parties all the time." Is Jordan happy? I don't know. Watch his last documentary. You tell me. >> I don't think so. Dude, you're [ __ ] awesome. I appreciate the hell out of you. >> I love you, Chris. Thank you so much. By the way, you look excellent and your cheekbones are protruding and making me question my already questionable heterosexuality as usual. >> Very good. rpstrength.com/modernwisdom if you want to train like I have for the last 14 months. [ __ ] yeah. Appreciate you, man. >> Thank you. Thank you very much for tuning in. If you like that episode, you will love this one with Mr. Alex Hmozi.