Grand Theft Auto, But It’s Badly Translated

Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're playing GTA San Andreas, but it's been run through dozens of translators. >> Hello. Look who saw me move. >> Hello dear mom. >> Prince bad baby. >> And the whole thing is a mess, much like my setup. I'm a professional YouTuber. >> Time to go home. >> Phone singing. I I'm so confused. It said phone singing. That was meant to be his phone ringing. Okay, all right. I'm going to have to realign my brain works to understand this game. >> Passenger, show me your hand, please. >> Oh, he's so polite. I hope he doesn't turn out to be a bad guy. >> I'm on my knees. >> But you're on your knees. Wait, what? >> I'm sleeping. >> He's sleepy. Oh, look, let's just do this another day then. >> Hello, I'm a newspaper worker. This is the money. >> Carl is so polite as well. >> Say curse words clearly. >> That's one way to get around demonetization. >> Carl, how are you? How is your family? >> Who's that? >> I work as a nurse. >> What? Did you know that? >> Are these the same people? Why did their voices change? >> The gun belonged to a Belasco police officer and was used in the shooting. >> Is he German now? >> No, Carl. You're absolutely right. >> He is German. All right, we're going to need uh subtitles. I have no idea what they're saying. >> Oh, there are again, the worst place in the world. I haven't been to Grove Street for 5 years. >> But the palace didn't matter. >> to normal now. Use the chair. The war holidays to cry to move the curve. Curve? Oh, that's his name, Curve Johnson. Press article to fix the bike. I don't have an article key. All right, I'm going to use my controller which does have an article key. Oh, Jesus. I tried to put on subtitles and God knows where they are. Oh, simple. If only. Oh my god, man. What am I supposed to do? Draw a map. That sounds fun. Oh, it's already drawn. Someone already did it. Number? Life force is empty. Oh, no. I have zero tree bark. I'm going to have to work on that. Success zero. Yeah, I've been that way for a while. Man, what am I supposed to do? Oh, here we go. Translation maybe? No, that doesn't make any sense. I don't know if it does, but like that's not even close. Oh. Right, I'll set translation to high and hope for the best, I suppose. >> Grove Street Casa, at least until they destroy everything. >> Oh, man. Don't be like that. Let's have a bit of positivity. The smoke was intense. This is the first mission. What are you thinking, Carl? Or sorry, Curve. What's What's on your mind? >> Wait, mother is listening. >> What? >> Mother, they are something. >> It's just random words, actually. All right, you know what, Carl? Don't share, actually. You just keep those thoughts to yourself. They are completely insignificant. >> You picked the wrong house, IDIOT. >> BIG SMOKE, IT'S ME, CARL. CALM DOWN. CALM DOWN. >> HELLO, DEAR. How are you? >> So polite as well. Everyone's polite. >> According to the Bible, we are blessed and cursed. >> What kind of stupid book is this? >> Me, whenever I went to church. Sorry. Sorry, I was forced, you know. You know how it is. >> Hello. Look who saw me move. >> Hello, Carl. Nice to meet you. >> Uh I'm your brother. Um that was awkward. All right, well, we're here to honor Mom. What do you guys want to say? >> Hello, dear Mom. >> I have nothing to add, you know. I have nothing to add there. >> He had little respect for you until he died. >> seem to have anything to do with you? >> It's baby. Oh my god. Oh, why is this so funny? It's so stupid. >> There are small and large dragons. >> Carl's spacing out. He's like, "Dragons?" >> 12, PLEASE RUN ME. HELLO, THIS IS MY CAR. >> THEY KEEP SAYING HELLO AT THE start of lines for some reason. >> Follow me by example. >> I will. All right, sorry guys. I'm just I'm a little bit overwhelmed, you know? It's a lot of processing power to try and understand what you're saying. Hello. Oh, no. You're not polite at all. Get off my bike, you clear curse words. It's too big, sweet. What are they talking about up there? >> Bad, the palace car is coming. Relax. Good luck, idiot. >> Well, thank you. But also, that hurt. >> You control the Chief Justice. >> No, contrary to popular belief, Carl does not control the Chief Justice Ryder. We're going to just have to get out of this the old-fashioned way. Circle. Thanks for the advice. Ah, man. Circle. It's too big with Ryder. Where is he? I was with Big Smoke. We were literally right next to each other. >> Shut up, CJ. You insult us? >> Okay, sorry. God damn. He's pretty good on a bike. This is a hell of a wheelie. I guess he did say he was a newspaper boy or something in the intro, right? Oh, circle. >> People on the East Coast are losing weight and exercising. >> That's good to hear, Smoke. It's good to have some positivity. >> I'm Carl. When are you leaving? >> You're Carl? I thought I was Carl. Oh, no, I'm Curve. Apologies. >> Oh, I wanted to call the gang, but it's too cold. You want something? >> Yeah, I could do with a sweater or something. That would be nice. >> I'm very tired because I have a lot to do. >> Hey, come on. Let's all play together. >> That sounds lovely, Big Smoke. >> And the haircut, look at it and be ashamed. >> Oh my god. It hurts more, I think, the way they say the insults. Mission accomplished successfully. Thank you, players. Enter the Chief Justice house to continue. Oh, I'm the Chief Justice. Now I understand. Yeah, now it's all beginning to make sense. Even saving is confusing. I don't know, did I save? Okay, I did. Log two not found. Yes. Do you want to save this article? Ow. Select okay to continue. Saving successfully. Clearly. See you in the morning. He lives on the road. Is that a threat? What's that supposed to mean? >> Did you understand? >> I want to clear something strange. >> Okay, how are you? >> Is Chief Justice British now? >> The Saville Avenue family and the Temple Avenue family argue and quarrel with the Watermans. We are busy preparing for this trip. Barry >> and Vargos were above him. >> I think I'm having a stroke. I don't know. >> Hey, what do you want? >> Meet your soulmate. >> Nice to see you again. >> Don't you love your boyfriend anymore? Don't you want to hug him? >> What the hell? Oh my god, they're a loving couple. That is so nice. >> I had sex on Grove Street, you sad. >> There was so much unpacked there in the in the space of a few lines of dialogue. Given all the communication issues, I don't know what haircut I'm going to walk out of here with. I wish I had enough money just to get the O. I'm so curious what the O is. I'll go with the very colorful, please. That's not colorful at all. You lied to me. I'm going with fur urination, final answer. I don't have enough money for urination. Damn it, I want fur urination so bad. All right, give me the cherry curl then. Mhm. No, I don't like it. >> Do you know anything? I'll give it to you again. Big Rice is still angry. >> Oh, no, I'm sorry to hear that. Who's Big Rice? My ear is empty. Now, it sounds like I'm being badly translated. >> What do you want, your majesty? >> Oh. Your majesty. I keep getting like ranked up. I was Chief Justice 5 minutes ago. I'll take a luxury double room, please. In fact, I will take many luxury double rooms. >> Be careful. It's very hot. >> I'm just vomiting in the cutscene. That's awesome. Love that. >> Throw the money away. It's an attack. CJ, as always, get on the bus. JUST GRAB IT. WOW, EXISTENCE. >> I MEAN, not for long if the pizza boy gets us. >> I was watching Running Man. Wait a minute. I thought you were back on track. >> I told you, brother. >> Your words make no sense here. >> Only here? What do you mean? >> Tired. I'm fat. Play now. >> He's direct. I actually kind of like that. Take two tiantion tot edward wood. I'm on a bus. Search for icons and potions. I hope I find some potions. Hey, you guys, you got any potions? >> What exactly is it? >> Uh just any potion, really. I don't mind. >> Keep this secret again, Chief Justice. >> Wait, I got demoted to Chief Justice again? This is getting really confusing. I need some stability in my life. >> What's this stairway doing in your penis? >> That NPC line. I don't know if that's translated. I think it is, but some of the NPC lines in these games are weird, you know? But yeah, I think that's a new one. >> How is your diet? I'm a little short. Update removed all documents and only minor changes remain. Buy me a beer or something. Wait a minute. >> Okay, I'll wait. Mission accomplished successfully. $200. Thank you, boss. All right, now I just to wait a minute. Can't be that long. He just said a minute, so. You know, I I don't I don't think he's coming back. >> Hello, let's be honest. >> Dude, I've been waiting outside all day. I have played this game dozens of times and I have no idea what mission this is cuz the dialogue is so messed up. >> You're very stupid, my friend. You have to pay attention. >> Sorry. All right, yeah, you know what? You're right. I'll I'll pay attention. >> Hello, Morbion. It is true that these proud and wicked people must now repent. >> Are we Are we on like some religious crusade here? All right, Ryder, my beloved, I think I don't know the storyline's confusing me. If the bishop fights, pressing up will place the bishop beside you when you turn. Now, I'm not sure if it's religious or or about chess. I'm going to assume religious. Come on, brother Ryder, let's spread the word of the Lord. >> Stupid, stupid. I don't even know what a goon is. >> It's that thing. Don't worry. I'll I'll handle the door. >> Open. >> Or maybe not. He thought it was voice-activated. >> Open. >> It's still not working. Smart homes, yeah. >> Only smoking and keeping the house clean is important to a bear. >> Is he really Bjorn's brother A or what? >> What's that? >> Okay, sir. >> What's happening? What Why does it sound like that? I don't know what's going on, but >> I'm listening home. >> No, I don't want to listen. I want to leave. I want to get out of here. >> Wow, this is so confusing. >> Finally, someone talks some sense. >> This city is full of drug addicts and drug addicts. It's very annoying. >> Yes, it is. It is very annoying and it's annoying. >> University, I'm an office worker. What do you want? What kind of dog do I want? There are many dogs. >> Oh, he's selling dogs. Hello, I would like to buy a dog. Oops. Is that okay? >> Oh, I know that cat. >> Oh, that's why we're killing him. He was selling cats and pretending they were dogs. All right, he deserved the death sentence. >> Hello, we are working on an important task. >> Yes, we are. I mean, sorry. Hello. Yes, we are. Now, let's head to the next house and make them repent. >> Okay, first let me introduce myself. >> All right. Yes, that's a good plan. Hello, everyone. I'm Your Majesty Curve Johnson, Chief Justice. Come home, sweet. Oh, oh man, I did my introduction wrong. So, I'm actually Your Majesty Curve Johnson, Swiss Chief Justice. All right. It's a lot to remember. >> Al-Qaeda won't kill you anymore. >> They They were I'm not even going to say it cuz I'm going to get demonetized, but that that was them. Damn. They were in the hood this whole time? >> Respect is earned like money. >> What is respect? I only know thank you, Klaus. >> What do you want to use later? IT IS >> HELLO, KAI. HEY, WE DON'T need to talk. >> That's probably for the best. They've all agreed that, you know what, let's just not. It's too much processing, man. It's exhausting trying to understand these people. >> How was my mother killed? This should be discussed. >> I don't know. It I don't know, Carol. Come on, let's just enjoy the silence. >> Yeah, but people like to talk, don't they? >> Who said that? Whose line was that? Is someone in the trunk? All right, you know what, let's let's just forget about Mom and order some some food, which shall we? I want to hear the iconic order, badly translated. >> Hello, I boldly chose number nine. >> Yes, Your Majesty. >> Two numbers in are nine. The largest number is nine. Additional numbers for dips six and seven. >> This order sounds like a riddle. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. >> Okay. Okay. All right. All right, dude. Okay, you got your food. Jesus, he's excited. >> Hey, KILL THIS GUY. WOW, THAT'S A GOOD PLAN. STOP FROWNING and eat a estate. >> That's the spirit, Ryder. Yeah, let's have fun. Let's keep it positive. >> Hey, I ate the whole bag of chips. >> That's great, buddy. We're so proud of you. The band members were murdered. What? Huh? What did it say? Oh, wait, I still have work to do. Murdered in the mansion. The band members were murdered in the mansion, you guys. >> What? THIS IS THE FULL PACKAGE. >> YOU ARE so fat. >> Hey, I want to eat everyone. >> You want to eat everyone? Well, thank you for sharing. That's very honest and vulnerable of you. >> There is nothing. I only read poetry. >> They all speak like they're hypnotized and in some part of a cult or something. >> Hi, thanks, Carl. Hello, love. I miss you. >> Uh no, sorry. No, no, no. We're in a relationship with our soulmate, Ryder. Yeah, thank you, Plus. Oops. All right, you know what? That's That's normal in this world, I think. Oh. Uh hello. >> Really? >> I mean, really? The one time he doesn't say hello. >> There's a gym not far from the farm I go to. >> You go to a farm? Oh, I think I know what's happening. They keep referencing like farm, forest. It's cuz Grove is getting like mixed up in the translation. Ah, there we go. Now I just have to try and decipher every other thing they say, and things won't be so bad. >> What happens when the Boris River flows? Do you want to throw your shoes away? What happened to Emmett? >> I don't know, man. Everything's a riddle. Everything feels like an analogy. >> I'm this person. Do you know what I mean? Hello. >> Even then he says hello. >> THE FIELD IS EMILY JACKSON. OH. >> HEY. >> BRIAN. >> JEEZ, he was absolutely freaked out, ready to kill, and Chief Justice over here just says one letter, "A", and diffuses the whole situation. >> HEY, I'M THE BEST IN THE WORLD. >> Oh my god, a coherent sentence. That's crazy. >> I guess freedom doesn't make you free, does it? So, let's break up. Hello, we will meet at Emma's house. >> Look, I just want every comment to begin with the word "hello". All right, just on this video. It's I don't ask much from you. But, this is important to me. Reekwell Sern. I've no idea what I'm supposed to do. I guess just drop him home. >> Sometimes it feels real, but sometimes we have no choice. >> At least you still talking nonsense. You haven't changed a bit. >> But, you mean the others aren't speaking nonsense? It's time for a mandatory makeover. Oh my god. Okay. Since every item makes absolutely no sense, I'll just pick my first choice randomly and whatever happens happens. >> Thank you, Professor Laughter. >> I'm a professor now? Oh, my title gets more and more confusing. I will take a single shoe, please. Yeah, that's perfect. Oh Jesus, this this is a whole poem here. There was a blue carpet in front of the door. All right, and that's our outfit. Perfect. I'm sure Sweet will love it. I look like I escaped from some mental asylum and I think I'm a superhero. >> Yes, Jeffrey is a [ __ ] >> Hey, don't speak about Jeffrey like that. Hey fellas, don't worry. It's me, your majesty Curve Johnson, Sweet, Professor Laughter. Is that it? I feel like I'm missing some of my titles. Oh, Chief Justice, yeah. How could I forget? One of my original titles. By the end of the game, it's going to be like a whole A4 page to say his name. >> Hi Jeffrey, how are you? >> Hello fighting white yabbo, Aussie locked friend. >> Oh great, yeah. This guy already didn't make much sense. This is going to be awful. >> This person has always wanted to be a football player. Correct, but it's okay. I will be be plumber. >> To to He is so positive. He has taken such a good turn. The justice system really did a good thing for him. And by that I'm complimenting myself cuz I'm chief justice. >> Freddy, I'm coming to you, baby. Hello, wait a second. HELLO. HELLO. THE MAN RAN AWAY. >> Freddy was caught and hanged? No, he's not. He's right there. >> Hey, honey, I can't take it anymore. >> Aw, should we stop? Why can't we all just get along? >> Yeah, woo, smile. >> You see, that's the spirit. Can we all just let bygones be bygones? Come on, Jeffrey, you were saying you wanted to be a plumber and you seemed happy with that. >> Don't be a strict chief justice. >> I have to be, dude. I have to keep these streets under control. >> Come on, criminals. Let's get back to Earth. >> Yeah, let's go back to our home planet. Hello. What a happy ending. Like, subscribe. Bye for now.