Good Characters Forms Through Good Habits | Shaykh Talal Ahdab

Dear brothers, dear sisters, we praise Allah. We praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala who has blessed all of us with countless favors. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in his book says, Indeed, he has succeeded the one who purifies who purifies it, i.e. the soul. And he has failed the one who fails to purify it, but instead instills in it a lot of corruption. We bear witness that there is no deity save Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and that Muhammad is his servant and messenger who taught us everything that we need in this life and the next. Who also taught us that our deeds are judged by its ends. And that the most beloved actions to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala are the most consistent ones. Even if they are small. Dear brothers, dear sisters, today's khutbah is about change. It's about how do we how do we build and cultivate good character, good habits. Let's change character into habits. How do we cultivate, nurture, and build good habits? We all have bad habits. We all have bad habits that we want to get rid of. Some of those habits are sins that became habits. Our soul, our ego keep convincing us that if we satisfy the soul, satisfy the nefs, we will be in good shape. Keep on doing the sin. Keep on doing the bad habit. You'll be in good shape. And the soul will be alleviated. The nefs lawama, the nefs amara will be alleviated. And it won't bother us anymore. But we are deluding ourselves. But change begins with gratitude. Have you ever counted the favors that Allah subhana wa ta'ala have blessed you with? Have you ever counted how many bedrooms you have in your house? Have you ever counted how many washrooms you have in your house? Sometimes we have too many washrooms, too many bedrooms, too many furnitures, too many iPads and iPhones, all these digital gadgets. Indeed, recognizing simple blessings from Allah subhana wa ta'ala like the ability to walk, the ability to run, like having good health, the ability to travel, the ability to see family, to see friends. If we think about this, it will make us realize the immense favor Allah subhana wa ta'ala has upon us. But how do we How do we get rid of our old habits and build new ones? How do we purify ourselves? Well, the secret to purifying ourselves to tazkiyah is in habits. Because sins are nothing but habits. The Prophet alayhi salatu wa sallam told us that speak the truth. Because truth leads to birr, to righteousness. And birr leads to paradise. And avoid lying. Because lying leads to fujur, to indecency. And people keep on telling lies until they are written with Allah subhana wa ta'ala as liars, i.e. becomes their habits. They become habitual liars. Every time we tell a lie, we have to tell countless other lies to keep the lie from being discovered. And as we keep telling lies, we become habitual liars. These little habits. So, our talk today is around these topics. And what we learn from our religion is that actions do not exist in isolation. Many people don't like to be described as liars. Or they convince We convince ourselves when it's a sin, when it's a bad habit, it doesn't count. And if we do something good, even once, we think of ourselves as as having that quality. If you ask someone, "Did you lie?" They said, "I only lied once." And it doesn't count. It doesn't mean anything. Even though we have to keep on lying and lying and lying. But if we tell the truth once, say, "I always tell the truth." If you go to the gym once, you think of yourself as an athlete. But in reality, maybe not. Developing good habits take time. And getting rid of bad habits also take time. Sometimes you have to take the antidote. Some bad habits are so bad that uh they have to be treated like poisonous pill. They need to be treated with the antidote. Something severe to overcome that bad habit. And actions, they're not anomaly. The actions of today are the product of yesterday. And the actions of today will be the actions of tomorrow. And if we don't do anything about it, we will die doing the same thing as we are doing today. Because we keep on repeating the same actions and repeating the same habits. Now, psychologically, our religious psychology and our spiritual psychology, we want to understand how habits are formed. What are the mechanics of habit formation? And we want to also understand the deceptive techniques that our nafs, our ego, and Mr. Shaitan, our enemy, keep playing on us. And also, we want to understand in this khutbah that the prophetic methodology of prioritizing small, consistent actions over sporadic, intense efforts. Sometimes you feel the need and you feel the desire to do good deeds. So, you overdo it. And when we overdo it, we burn out. Imagine if you want to start exercising, you go to the gym, you go hiking, you walk um uphill, downhill for 2 3 hours and you exhaust yourself. You exhaust yourself to the point that the next time you do it is a year later. That's not encouraged in our religion. And that's one of the deceptive techniques that our ego and Shaitan use against us. Shaitan is very well aware of a human psychology. He knows us very well. And he knows how to whisper to us at the right time and at the right moment. And one of the easiest technique for Shaitan is is to tell you to whisper you whisper to you that nothing is wrong. You're perfect the way you are. You don't need to change. You are perfect the way you are. And that's the motto you see in in the post-modernist era. Shaitan loves you because Shaitan doesn't want you to change. This is Satanism 101. In many movies, many dramas, that's what you see. You don't need to change. You're perfect the way you are. But God wants you to change. So, who loves you more? Shaitan or God? Shaitan loves you more cuz he doesn't force you to change. But God, the God of Christianity, the God of Islam, the God of Judaism, they he wants you to change. That's Satanism 101. Don't need to change. Don't change your habit. Don't get rid of your bad habit because there is no bad habit. After all, as long as it is authentic and manifest your will, it's what you wanted to do and no one forced you to do it, it's perfect. If you're able to overcome this, Shaitan will come to you in a different way. All right, there is still time. You can do it tomorrow. You don't have to do it today. You can do it tomorrow. And if you're able to overcome this, say I don't want to do tomorrow, I want to do it today. And I want to follow what our religion tells me. Then Shaitan comes with a different technique. Says, "Great. You want to change your habit? Then let's do it. Let's take it seriously." Okay. Pay charity today. Go on hiking today. Get fit today. Pray five times a day. Do Tahajud at night. And by the end, you're exhausted. You're burnt out. And then what what ends up happening, you stop doing things. And you stop changing your habits. Our nafs and Shaitan, they have many techniques to deceive us. The prophet Alayhi Wasallam told us that that God Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala loves small matters if it is consistent. Even if it is qaleel, even if it is little, as long as it is consistent. If you open the Mushaf, the Mushaf is 15 lines per page, the new editions printed in Turkey, in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan. Now, 15 lines per page. That's an amazing way of printing the Mushaf because it's been used for over 500 years to memorize the Quran. People found it easy. Why? Because they memorize five lines at Fajr, five lines at Dhuhr, five lines at Maghrib, and before they sleep they review the whole page. Every day to memorize one they have a systematic and they have a methodology to memorize the Quran. There are many other ways to memorize the Quran. But [clears throat] it's consistent. It's little. And you can do it you can memorize the Quran in less than 2 years. And everybody can do it. What is most important also is that the direction and the orientation we are orienting ourselves toward. Not the outcome or the results we achieve. The prophet told us about someone who killed 99 people. Criminal from the children of Israel. Nations before us. After killing 99 people he wanted to repent. He wanted to find Allah. And someone told him there is no for you. There is no repentance for you. So he killed them and completed a hundred. And a scholar told him there is always a way to find Allah. There's always a way to repent. And he told him of a way to repent. He said go to this city and you'll find people who are good. Stay with them. So that criminal took on the journey. When he took on the journey he made a mental decision and he broke the cycle of bad habits. Cuz the more you are in the same environment the more likely to repeat the same thing. That's why traveling is very good. It breaks your habits. And he died before arriving in the other city. But since he this is the direction he took, he took the direction, did not achieve the result. Yet Allah subhana wa ta'ala forgave him. Why? He broke the cycle of bad habit. He wanted to develop good habit. Oriented himself toward um becoming a better person. But Allah subhana wa ta'ala took him before he achieved that goal. But that nia and that effort is essential. So, this is our human psychology. We always need to understand how we are created. We always need as a humans, we view negative actions in isolation. Oh, I only did it once. And we view positive action as our character. Now, how do we progress in developing good habits and the and developing character? It's not difficult. But it requires a willpower. First of all, the development of character is described as many of our ulama like Imam Ghazali and others have mentioned that we have thoughts. Thoughts become words. Words become intentions. Intentions become actions. Actions become habits. And habits character. Becomes your sifat, becomes your attribute. Thoughts, this is the initial spark. Words, you externalize that thought. You speak about it. Intentions, you make an internal commitment. Actions, this is a physical manifestation of your intention, which is a another It's a commitment of your thoughts. Habit is when you repeat actions while keeping the internal commitments. And character is the ultimate definition who who you who you are. You become generous or you become miserly. You become a good person or you become satanic person. You become truthful or you become a liar. It's not magic. So, uh the prophet Alayhis Salat was Salam always he told us how to improve ourselves. And he gave us examples. One time a companion saw the prophet Alayhis Salat was Salam one gave a one companion gave the prophet a gift, a board. Like a a coat like a jalabiya. And one companion told him, "Ya Rasul Allah, ma ahsan burdak." "Oh messenger of Allah, this is a beautiful coat, beautiful jalabiya." The prophet Alayhis Salat was Salam took it off and gave it to him. The companions blamed him. They said, "You know the prophet Alayhis Salat was Salam, he never says no. And when you say my husband bought dog, how beautiful is your coat? It's like you're asking for it. The prophet never said no. The prophet is generous. Why? Because that generosity is a character in him. And that character is a habit. And it was easy for him to develop that habit. For us, it's not easy. We have to work it. And that person, the companions told them, he was more smarter than all of them. He said, "Well, I might have to leave the near where I can only have one cup of tea." He said, "By God, I don't want it this Jellabiya or this coat to wear it in this world, but I want it to be shrouded with it when I die." So, he was thinking about, you know, what's the best thing I can leave with when I leave this world? He wasn't thinking about parading Medina with wearing the coat of the prophet Muhammad. Little habits or good habits are developed little by little. But initially, you have to force yourself. The first time you exercise, you have to force yourself. The first time you hike, you have to force yourself. You have to have enough willpower to overcome the initial resistance. Next time, it's easier. And if you keep on doing it, it becomes easier and easier until you begin to enjoy it. Imagine someone whose doctor told him, "You need to cut sugar because you run the risk of diabetes." Or the first time you drink without sugar or tea without sugar, it's horrible. But the more you drink it, it becomes enjoyable and you can no longer drink tea or coffee with sugar. And you develop a good habit. So, in summary, uh There are techniques and methods that the prophet Alayhi Wasallam and Islam and our ulama have documented for developing good habits. First of all, there's an initial force. It's what we call mujahadah. It's an initial force. You have to push yourself through the initial resistance. And then you have you need to have some consistency, small consistency. I eat prioritizing the small daily actions over large one-time efforts. Don't over-exhaust yourself. All of us have children or grandchildren. When you go grocery shopping and you come back home and you're loading the grocery from the car to the house, the children your child, he wants to carry the heaviest bag. They want to help you. So, they want to carry the heaviest bag and they force themselves to carry the heaviest bag. But that will burn them out. What do you do? You give them a bag that they can carry given their size and their age and their physical strengths. Same thing with us. Do something that you can keep on doing. And then make sure that you have a you have a directional focus. You're not distracted. You keep doing it. Make sure that you your nafs, yourself, Shaitan will try to trick you. Make sure that you keep on opposing them. Keep this internal commitment. And view the incremental change.