Fifth Harmony's Ally Brooke on Why You Shouldn't Let Others Slow Down Your Drive | Impact Theory

Everybody, welcome to another episode of Impact Theory. I am here today with Ally Brooke, formerly of Fifth Harmony, now a solo artist. You, my friend, are a bonafide pop star. I am excited to have you on, so welcome to the show. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, this is awesome, and I just I can't believe that I have a book and I'm here. It's It's It's amazing, so thank you. Absolutely. Um reading your book was really interesting. You're obviously super raw in the book, really open. And one of the things that I have been fascinated with for a very long time is that rise to fame that so many kids dream about and so few actually get to do. What was that like? Oh my gosh, it was crazy. So, in my book, I talk all about that journey and how hard it was. You know, sometimes people see artists and they're like, "Oh, wow, you know, it must have been so easy or look, it came to them so naturally." And that is usually not the case. Um so, for me, what I what I share in the in the book is I started singing at 9 years old, and I want to thank my third grade elementary school teacher for changing my life, and I write about that, too. And I started singing at 9, grew up in San Antonio, Texas. Um sang all around my city, and then at 12 years old, it's kind of It's a crazy story. I got discovered by Dana Barron, who was the original Audrey in National Lampoon's Vacation. And at 12, she took me um to Los Angeles, you know, my parents and I traveled there and started to chase a dream at 12 years old. And it wasn't until I was 19 that I No, 18 that I really got my big break, so from 12 to 18 I was pounding the pavement. I was gosh First of all, just to be barely a teenager and going from Texas to LA was such culture shock for me. It was so different. I missed my family. My my pets, my brother my friends, everything that was familiar, but my parents really believed in me and I thank them for that and many years trying to record music, writing and just trying to create something for years and trying to get that goal of getting a record deal. And we had so many moments of tears, you know, of things not going out the way we planned. So many moments of not knowing what the next step would be. You know, even financial burden for my parents to balance both livelihoods to so many doors in my face and then doors would open and it would be amazing, but it wouldn't work out the way we planned. So many things, so many sacrifices and I was dealing with my mom and her scoliosis and gosh, just as a young girl that that took a toll on you, you know, but my parents and I we always had faith and even when we we would just have an ounce of belief in the end it paid off and I got my big break when I was 19 at 18 years old on the X Factor and of course I go into way more detail in the book about everything and all the the trials I went through in those a few years before that cuz it was a lot, but um you know, we just had that faith and we never gave up and I credit my parents for everything. They're my They're my everything. They're my heart. They're my angels. We talk every single day on the phone. In fact, I just talked to them like an hour ago. They're the best things in my life. One thing I want to talk about is, you know, a lot of people have that dream of becoming famous. For some people, it's a lifelong dream and you know, it's sort of the the thing that never came true for them. What you detail really pretty extraordinarily in the book is that it isn't what you think it's going to be and that it isn't like, "Oh, I got my record deal and now there's no drama and everything is great and it was what I thought it was going to be." What was the dream that kept you fighting? Like, what was the image that you were holding on to in your head and then how did that compare to when you finally signed with Fifth Harmony and you guys end up starting to get hits? Like, what was the the image and then the reality? Um so, you know, when you're a young child pursuing this dream, you kind of think, "Oh, you're going to get signed and then you get to make the music you you love and then you're going to tour the world and and everything's just going to going to come and happen to you. Your life's magically going to change like that." But for me, my success looked very different. Of course, being in a girl group and I adjusted pretty quickly and and was just trying to have the most positive attitude and especially when I difference? Like, when you say that it was different than what you imagined cuz it was part of a girl group. Obviously, you talk about this in the book, but for uh people that don't know the story of some of the early difficulties, what what was it that, you know, created that friction in the early days? Well, it it was a lot of things. You know, being you have this image of like, "Oh, you're going to be signed." And then when um so many so many adversities kind of came really quickly in Fifth Harmony, being on X Factor. I opened up about that. How my audition, the show had edited it to be very negative experience versus what it really was. It was such a glorious moment. It was beautiful. There was no negativity from the judges or the audience. It was amazing. But, on TV they made it look like the judges were annoyed by me. That I was in it for the wrong reasons, just to be famous. And they edited the audience to like laugh at me and roll my eyes. It's horrible. Um so, that right off the bat was hard. And then on X Factor, when we became a group, you know, super self-conscious after it aired. And I was like, I have to watch my every word, my every um my every facial expression. Um because the show could edit it again. And now that we're in a girl group, you know, um there's so many different personalities. I want to make sure I come across the right way. Um but one of the hardest parts about X Factor was that. And then also, um on the show right away, losing my identity and losing my voice on the show. I wasn't given very many singing parts when we made it to the live rounds, which was devastating for me. I had worked basically my whole life to have my voice be heard. And I didn't want to be, you know, the only one singing or anything like that. I just wanted all of us to have you know, a fair presentation. But, that wasn't [clears throat] the case. And then uh one day I had a little bit of confidence to say, "Hey, can I please you know, have a little bit more lines in the song? Um I really want to be able to show what I can what I can do and that I can bring something to this group along with everyone else." And I was met by the vocal teacher being really really mean and just saying like, "You should be grateful you're here. You have a opportunity that millions of girls uh would be dying to be in. Kind of met with that shame and guilt when I had a very innocent and fair question. And after that, I was like, "I'm not going to ask again because I don't want I cried, you know, right after that. I don't want to be made to feel small and to feel like my question is worthless." So, that was hard to endure. And then, um you know, with our music, the first single we ever had, which is called Miss Movin' On, I opened up about having one line and one ad-lib in our very first single. And again, there's so many punches being thrown in my face with this X Factor experience and the Fifth Harmony. And right away, I keep praying and thinking, "It's going to be a new start. It's going to be better. It's going to be different when I'm on the show. It's going to be different after the show. It's going to be different in our first single." And then, it's just all the this domino effect of kind of negative experiences was very tough. And then, also feeling like I wasn't uh fairly represented in the group. It was horrible cuz again, you can just imagine being 12 years old, you know, you have this big dream, then you finally make it and it's not what it seems. Also, the label had so much control of our image. And so, all those factors, it took me a while to really kind of be happy. And again, I wanted to balance being grateful, this amazing experience, traveling the world, being in front of thousands of screaming fans, um getting to meet our favorite artists, all that. But also, I had the I had the right to to feel like, "Dang, my voice is being lost in in a moment where I thought my dreams were coming true." Does that make any sense? It does. Yeah, I want to go even deeper into that. So, I'd love to know when you when you were young and you were thinking about fame or performing or like whatever that was going to be, what did you have an image? Was it you in front of fans that want to hear you sing? Was it just actually the emotions you go through when you sing a song? What was it that made that so interesting that you were willing to work that hard for it? Mhm. Well, just 9 years old right away. I was super shy at that age. I was only comfortable really in front of my parents and in front of my friends, but elsewhere I was super shy. I'd have my back um against the wall singing. And I I had to battle that for a long time. But when I got on the stage for the first time, I felt that that um feeling of how the music made me feel, of transforming into a different version of myself, and seeing the audience have fun and the audience actually like it, and having that like confidence boost of oh my gosh, like they liked it or the audience really liked me, and seeing the way music transformed people. I was so inspired by Selena, Selena Quintanilla, and seeing her movie and the way she touched so many lives including mine. Oh my gosh, she's my number one inspiration. That's what struck me the most, and then discovering that I could do the same in a in a way that was the most incredible thing. So, kind of picturing myself on the stage in front of so many people, us together connecting and and having an experience that no one can really describe, um even though we may not know each other, just having that music bond us forever and the way that just singing makes me feel and makes my heart feel and my soul feel it hard to describe but just this like uplifting in your spirit rising up. It's this beautiful image that I get and I feel my heart this electricity and mostly the way that it moves people. That's the most beautiful thing. So having all of that and having a dream of one day being on a stage of my very own, touring on my own, creating music videos and writing and creating songs that make my heart beat and that uplift people and that are positive and fun and that kids and moms and grandmas could listen to and escape with and it could make them feel something beautiful inside and it can physically and emotionally move them. That's those are all the images that I had as a young child and praise God I've been able to really experience now. It's been overwhelming. [sighs] How do you define who you are, hold on to that definition, not be afraid to stand out when you're getting thrashed on social media? It's It's so hard. So I I open up in my book about just how much cyberbullying I went through. I mean everything from body shaming to saying, "Oh, Ally's never going to make it. She's the least talented member." Or saying, "Yeah, making compilation videos of saying that Ally's a horrible dancer. She has no like rhythm and I smile too much and like all these crazy things and it messes with your mind. I mean psychologically you just it's like you lose your your soul honestly and for me uh I dealt with you know the bullying uh in Fifth Harmony the cyberbullying and all that by crumbling and turning to other things but then gaining the strength inside of me to say I'm going to choose to listen to my fans who are supporting me and telling me to love myself. I'm going to choose to listen to my parents and them saying the same thing and I'm going to choose to listen to that deeper voice inside of me that says turn it off like don't don't believe the lies. I open up about a very dark moment in my book several dark moments that I was embarrassed that I went through or I turned to certain things but um by opening it opening up and sharing that I'm going to help someone else someone who feels like their only way to cope is through drinking their pain away. I mean you know it's okay to have some wine and you know oh I had a hard day let me have a glass of wine of course that's fine but the way that I tried to escape through alcohol was very very dangerous and I wrestled with putting that in the book. So there was a moment when um there was so much going on around me. You know there was body shaming the public having or it felt like the public having a perception of me of oh she's the weakest member she can't dance um her you know she's uh she'll never be anything more and then also internal things happening in the group and feeling like I couldn't turn to anybody for help. Um uh these music executives, I turned to one for help and he ended up uh being very inappropriate with me. And I felt so humiliated and even more alone. Many things were happening to where one night I I opened up and I I wanted to escape. I wanted to escape the world and I ended up drinking myself to death, basically. I mean, not to death literally, but I mean I literally drank myself until I got sick cuz I didn't want to live in my world that I was living in because of all the pain that I never shared with anybody. And my manager came and found me. Um I feel lost. There's no hope. I'll never be happy. Um things will never get better. I mean, truly thinking these dark thoughts. And he was there to pick me up and to comfort me. And to say, "Allie, listen, I know it's hard. I see what's going on. I know it's brutal. This business is very, very, very brutal, especially on young women." I was reminded that there was hope and that God was with me even when begin to rebuild out of that? Like, what do you So, if the world is filling your head with notions that you're the weakest link, that you're a terrible dancer, that you're struggling with your body image and you're not reaching out to anybody for help. Now that you get it, there's sort of that wake-up moment, what begins to be the internal dialogue that you have to build this stuff back together? Is it just everybody's wrong? Is it work ethic? Like, I can get better? Like, how do you begin to build in a new direction? Well, for me, I had to just honestly dig deep and to remember what my manager said, his name is Will, is that God was with me and things would get better one day and I had to choose to just continue fighting each and every day and showing up and uh it wasn't just the online bullying and the names it was a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes too and feeling like I had no one to turn to I could trust anybody the times that I did try was met with severe just opposition and no empathy but that made me feel trapped and alone and scared honestly so all of those things swirling that happened and then for me I well first of all I just felt really I didn't feel good being that position I never wanted to feel that way again that that sorrowful that dark that um that out of it that um there's just this very ugly sick feeling that you get when you get to that point I don't know how to describe it but it's very harmful and and just toxic um I don't want to have to go through that again and again just like listening to those words and praying and and kind of being confronted with that darkness and knowing that I could turn to someone sometimes you just have to ride it out like it doesn't mean the next day will be better it doesn't even mean the next month or maybe even the next year but just riding it out and having that mustard seed of faith and saying you know what I'm just going to do my best to survive and that's it I'm going to try to be to be present to be used in the way that I'm allowed to be used to shine my light where I can even if my light's dimmed right now and just survive and and know that one day a better day will come and I had to do that for a very long time. Same thing, same thing, same thing. And then eventually opening up to my parents and and talking to a few friends and just listening to don't give up and don't settle and sometimes you can't change certain things or circumstances, but you certainly can push through them and get through them. And eventually I came out of that very dark place and what I called the great sadness in my life just by hanging on, you know. Talk to me about the mustard seed. What do you mean by that? That means when you when you're like hands to God and you're like, "God, what is going on? Why are you allowing this to happen? God, I don't see my life getting better." But deep down knowing that like there's that much faith you have and letting that grow over time. Faith that things will get better? Yes, faith that things will get better. Faith Faith that one day I will see the the sun again, um meta you know, so to speak. Um that's really what I had to hold on to. And things got worse before they got better, sadly. I didn't have one of those nights again, but I definitely had many more nights of crying and feeling alone and feeling hopeless. Uh but just enduring it for as long as I could and right when I felt like I got I've got to just you know, leave or change things. Things began to shift and began to get better. And sometimes that's what happens. what actually shifted? Because I'm thinking of the person right now who's in the middle of that great sadness. They are in the storm of darkness. And like them understanding how to push that shift along so that they can help it to happen. Um but I think them understanding what it was would be really useful. Well, I feel like uh one, there's many things, but one, I found the people I could trust, people who would lift me up when I was down, people who were there for me, people who were encouraging me, praying for me. Um two, I feel like slowly, little by little, I began personally to get certain validation and uh people um like online some examples? Yeah, so people online being so much kinder to me and not body shaming me, celebrating me. I felt like even in the group um even something as as small or what is insignificant, but meant a lot to me is being able to sing more and be a part of the process more and being validated more in my voice and in my talent and in my writing little by little to shift and building a community of people around me that have lifted me and and spoke truth into me, spoke life into me. When you feel like you're in a place where you're not really getting that and then you are like, "Okay, I'm going to stick it out and I'm going to see if life gets better." And it might take many years, but it does. That's like you just feel like you get your life back, your soul back, your spirit back. Um I hope I'm making sense. [laughter] You're definitely making sense. One thing I want to talk more about is the the notion of validation and confidence. Do you think that validation is a necessary part of confidence, or can you develop confidence even if other people are like, "This is the wrong direction"? Oh, you can totally do both. I mean, I have moments where see, for me, sometimes and to learn sometimes my validation came from other people, a lot of it. I'm a people pleaser. That's why in in the group, I didn't really speak up for myself because I knew it would make someone upset. And for me, in the long run though, that hurt me and that hurt my my confidence, the way I I I looked at myself and just just my happiness. Um but I had to learn that speaking up for yourself, as long as you're respectful and kind, eventually it will it will work and it will pay off, you know? And um and I had to learn that, but also learn that even if someone doesn't agree with you, you still have to stick with your decision or your choice or whatever. Yeah, it's really it was really interesting to follow you along in the book as you go through all of this and begin to build yourself back up and as you go into the solo career and how much intention you've had to have now to get, which is one of my favorite parts of the book, when you're going through trying to get your solo record contract. And again, yet another moment where I think so many people would have given up, but you didn't and you double down and you you know, take the notes and realize sort of what wasn't working in the initial pitch and and I want to talk about that process. And this is one of the things that I think is is so extraordinary and I think anybody will benefit from reading the book, but I think especially young people realizing that you have to have intention in your life and you have to decide who you want to be and the world is not going to just embrace you with open arms. The world is going to challenge you at every turn and it's going to ask how serious you are about who you want to become and what you want to achieve. So, as you thought about really defining yourself, were there a handful of characteristics that you knew, like, I'm going to be leading with these things? Uh in those meetings, the label meetings? Well, more like when I think about your music, empowerment is one of the things that comes to mind, right? When so many of your contemporaries are sort of leaning on the party scene, and look, you've got club bangers, and I you know, I'm not denying any of that, but there's, you know, there's a bit more soul, a bit more sort of internal introspection to your lyrics. And I just wondered how much of that is you doing that intentionally? I assume it is on purpose. Oh, yes. So, it is so awesome. Listen, being a girl group had its advantages, and it also had its challenges, and a lot of that was being controlled by so many people, so many cooks in the kitchen, you know. I mean, it's hard to make a move on your own without kind of being reprimanded and all this crazy crap. [laughter] I mean, of course, it had its beautiful moments, and I share that in the book, too. Um, but having that complete freedom as a solo artist to be who I wanted to be, to write about what I wanted to write, to have the music that I wanted to have, my intention, and especially when I met each label, and when I met Charles Chavez, who is my He's my manager, but also he's the head of my junior label. So, if you guys can kind of understand that, I guess. Um, and so, I just shared my soul, and I'm like, "Listen, I want to um, do all types of music, of course, pop music, but, you know, I'm I believe in being yourself and being sexy, you know, I am a woman, but also I I personally just don't want to be sexual, and also having music that is uplifting, that is positive, that is real. That was my goal and my dream and I prayed for the right person to be behind that, to support that, and to execute my my visions. And some people, you know, don't um you know, understand or they might try to push you. Um I've had songwriters who tried to get me to go one way, but I've had to be very much like "Hey, I'm sorry. Can we change it?" Or I come up with a change or I'm in the end don't use that song or whatever. Um but most people have been so respectful and it's awesome, you know? Um but for me it was such intention to to create music that everybody can listen to and feel good about just knowing how much I went through and and kind of thinking of that little girl who may need that uplifting song or positive message. That's what I think about in my music. And you know, I have little cousins. They're like 4 years old and I think of them like, "Okay, what music do I want to leave behind for them to dance to and to listen to and to feel good about." So, that has been the key to to what I've built on my own and and I'm just so happy that people see my music as positive, you know? It's That's awesome. And again, you'll get the full spectrum and the full story by reading my book, but knowing that you can not just survive, but thrive in the end. Like it's incredible. And and things can change. And sometimes you may even stumble upon something that you hadn't planned in life, but it ends up becoming one of your most cherished memories or something. It's wonderful. Like if I could just tattoo something or or just tell the world one thing is do not give up and do not lose hope because there is hope. Just I pray that even in my story, I feel like I lived five lives, is that showing people that it is possible to get to a place where you're healthy and you're happy. Talk to me about what not giving up means. So, you do Dancing with the Stars. You actually work your ass off to get really good. I mean, same thing with what you've done in your career. You Like there's a real element of work ethic to your story. Um, so you've talked about two different things. You've talked about just holding on, having the mustard seed of faith that there will be sun again, but then there's also the self-evident nature of your work ethic and you don't really refer to it as work ethic in the book, but it's pretty clear that that's what it is. Um, when you say don't give up, are we talking about being proactive or are we talking about just holding on? All of it. I mean, gosh. So, for example, when I was, you know, looking at all those, uh, labels, interviewing, and was told by my manager, who was so nice, you know, my manager at the time, was so nice and you're going to have a bidding war. You're part of the biggest girl group in the world. Get ready, girlfriend. And then all those doors were shut, and literally there was pretty much no other option for me as far as labels and figuring out how, like, God, am I going to ever be able to release music? Am I ever going to be able to sing again if I don't have a home to distribute that music to to take care of the funds and the costs that comes with being a a female solo artist. Um, just having that moment of breakdown. Choosing not to pack up and go home even when I wanted to. Uh choosing not to stop music. Choosing even like songs, songs that I thought would, you know, do better than they did or whatever. Choosing not to stop creating music, you know, keep on creating music. Um choosing to continue to dance even when people laughed at me. Um choosing to get up out of bed the next day, you know, when there was a loss or, you know, a dark moment or night that I had. Um choosing to stand tall in the industry when I was scared that someone about to to blackball me, you know, was someone about to to lie about me. Um was someone about to try to take my career away from me. Many things, just choosing to continue to live and to continue to fight through the good and the bad. That is all amazing. It comes across perfectly in your book, uh which by the way, you did an amazing job of walking people through the difficulties and, you know, giving them that mustard seed of hope and um some sense of how to begin to build back. Where can I mean, look, you're very easy to find, but where can people find you? Where can they get the book? How do they connect more deeply with you? If they're not already in the Allegiance. I love you. Thanks. You know my fan name, my fandom name. That's awesome. They're called the Allegiance. Uh but yes, y'all can follow me at Ally Brooke on social media, a l l y b r o o k e, and you can order my book Finding Your Harmony on Amazon or wherever books are sold. Um it's just such a beautiful thing for me and and not just for me, but for my family to be in this moment, to live it out. I mean, there are so many stories about my parents in here, about my grandma, about my grandparents who are no longer with us. And I just think of them and how proud they would be and how proud they are and they're watching over me and their story is going to be told in this book and I'm so excited for that. So, sorry. Thank you guys for the love and support. It means so much and I hope that through this book you can be inspired to go after your dreams, to not lose up, to not give up on yourselves. Um and to know that faith can change so many things. And I saw a lot of this in front of my eyes even when it felt like there was no hope. Um so, I really hope this can touch people's lives. And uh God bless you guys. Thank you so much. Absolutely. I have no doubt that it will. And guys, speaking of something that will touch your life, if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe. Ali, thank you so much for joining me. And guys, until next time, be legendary. Take care. earned is [music] for the things that I'm wanting and believing, I just have to do everything possible that's within my power. And [music] there's some things that aren't within my power and that's where I trust God.