EFAP TV: Reacting to Halo S02E05 - Aleria

Hey, look. I normally intro it, so someone else wants to intro. >> Oh, Frankie volunteered once again. >> Volunteered as tribute. >> Welcome to EAP. I'm Mark the Cyborg. We're going to be watching the six fifth fifth episode. Fifth episode of Halo season terrible. >> That last episode was abysmal. >> It was the wor It was the worst. >> Yes, it was the worst episode of this season. One of the worst episodes of the show. >> Will be considered the best probably by the general public. And they'll be wrong. There was a lot of aliens in it, which in this show, whenever you see the aliens, even for like one minute, it's a blessing in a sense. >> Are you calling them aliens on purpose? Like the the idea that it doesn't even come across as Covenant, it just comes across as generic stuff. >> The elites were just running forward like a big horde of zombies into incoming fire instead of using any strategies or combined arms warfare at all. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah, it is strange when I play the games or when I watch the cut scenes of the games, I'm never like, "Oh, those are the aliens." Because I have a bit more, I think, respect for them in in an odd sense. Like, oh, those are the Yeah, I call them these are the the certain species that I'm looking at. Here's the, you know, the shipmaster. Here's Arbiter. Here's this prophet, that prophet. >> I suppose the point being that there is no character in the Covenant. Uh, it's one of the show's biggest problems as an adaptation and as its own standalone story is that if you watch the show alone, I don't think you would have any reason to understand any of the choices that the Covenant are making as a society or as individuals. >> I have a question. Are the Covenant actually the antagonists? Cuz I thought it was uh on man. >> The way that it worked in season 1 is similar to the way that it's working here and I imagine it's a conversation the writers had which is well we need we need like a human antagonist. We need that like human element or something. >> People can't relate to >> remember villains being like an invading alien army. >> We had a Batman in season one, right? I forget his name. >> You had multiple. So you had Hoy. She was a big antagonistic element. You had Vincure, who was the madreal bad guy that Quan blew up. And it makes sense because there were genuinely episodes in season 1 that didn't have any Covenant in them at all. Now, of course, we've had that here. Episode 3, I believe we had zero covenant. And in season one, I think there's actually I want to say like three episodes where there are no covenant in it at all. >> I think season two just had one at the end in the hallway. >> It's kind of a recurring theme is an absence of uh of the covenant which when they are the central antagonistic element of the broader conflict. It's a weird choice. I kind of don't understand the logic at all. >> But where's Cobalt team? John Halo wants to know where Cobalt team is in between. Yes, that was the mystery that sustained us for the first three episodes. Cobalt team once in the locker room and then they were ditched on and then John Halo he said you got to tell Cobalt about the Covenant and then he said where's Cobalt to the guy who was putting the plaques up the cardboard cut out >> and then he stole a pelican memory >> lied to his team and then they all got in trouble and they were like we trusted you John Halo and then they walked off angry do this >> don't you know you know Covenant invade reach where they'll take away your armor >> you know pretty once or twice in every soldier's career You steal a military aircraft and take it for a joy ride. >> It's It's Yeah, it's your desk pop moment. >> To set us up for episode 5, a reminder, uh last episode was cringe full of reach and Keys is dead and Vanic is dead. >> Oh, you're right. Keys is dead. >> Spartan man is dead. Yeah, they're all dead. As a reminder of the stakes as well, only took the armor for the Spartans, but they left. >> Oh my god, I forgot about them taking the armor. Cortana. >> Do you think that there will be some kind of explo I'm not saying it will be a good one, but do you think that they will real Cortana? She's a >> final episode. John Halo will go to Oni Man and say, "Why did you take our armor?" And on man will say, "Because if you >> umh, wow, I don't like you and the Spartans and you're uh bad." I could see them saying that Cortana's job was to infiltrate their systems. >> Considering that they have some degree of limited understanding of the Covenant capacities, couldn't you just argue it would be a tremendous risk that that won't happen and that they'll find out everything that they need to know about humanity? >> How much is the show actually emphasized the whole like cold protocol, finding Earth, not letting any data get into the hands of the Covenant? >> Anything that you appeal to is going to be not in this show. They just don't have many references in this show about the UNC protocols and operations and you know the whole random slip space jumping or anything like that. That's game or book knowledge. It's not in this show >> and it should be in this show because it's extremely important to what the conflict would entail which is keeping you know information like that out of Covenant hands. >> We're being redeployed to sword base. >> Sword Covenant own it now. >> Which is why they want us for a torch and burn up. Keep Dr. Holly's excavation data from falling into enemy hands. But we're doing stuff like just leaving Cortana behind. And >> it's a big problem that the show will never be able to get past IMO, which is the idea that Oni and some amount of the UNC were compelled by the notion of abandoning Reach to die. It doesn't matter what the show presents as an explanation for that. It's absurd that huge swaths of the military apparatus in this world would abandon what we would have to assume is one of their most important planets to just be destroyed without warning. Oh, this is where our army is. we should use it and fight. >> Yeah. Instead, leaving them and leaving their Spartans to be far less efficient in defending it as well and just leaving all of the civilians. It's It's insane. It's absurd. I don't know how they move past that. >> If they had an army of blind guys with grenade launchers, they probably would have done okay. >> Promise me you'll get him on that ship. >> Where's my mom? >> A wasted a bit of time. >> This is an entire plot line. Totally forgot plot line. >> Yes, >> we are number one. We're not >> stop reminding us of the time that John Halo made her fall off of a waterfall. >> You said there were other ways to live. >> Are they going to previously summarize the uh the gay couple the grenade launcher blind thing? What's the point of putting that previously when the story is over? You know, I guess maybe they're going to have a funeral. >> Oh, that was the only that was one of the mildly mildly cool things when he slashes the glass with the sword and melts. >> Yeah, >> that's kind of neat. >> Command booked out. They took high ranking personnel >> and your armor. >> Oh, you dead. If he had armor, you might have lived. You can't complain about the helmet. [laughter] >> He's not coming. >> And he going to die, too. >> No. [laughter] >> Stupid. >> I can't believe that. >> God, it was so arbitrary. >> And then the blast door didn't work. >> Yeah, that was another one job it has, which is to stop blast. Tell the story that you write down. They gave him >> Remember the And then this happened. >> The single needle exploded. You remember how because he was going up to feed the pigeons, we knew he was dead. It's just [laughter] like, oh, >> we have to we have to humanize him just a little bit. >> Thing about the needler not functioning properly, too, is on this show, they established the rules of the needler in the first season. >> It works the same as in the game, but not this time. >> They didn't even take a needler and stab him with the top of the needler. They both like picked up a random shard lying around and then stab both him and John Halo seem to realize that that shard was going to explode. Why didn't he take it out? >> Because he's only a Spartan. >> It looked like he was like explode. And I mean, you know what? I'm >> He does not have the superhuman reflexes to do that. >> Where's Veronic? >> What do you mean? Where's He's dead. [laughter] >> He's [ __ ] dead. >> If he pulls it out, he'll bleed in. It's better to >> be fair. Master Chief is currently traumatized cuz he's in this show. >> I do like the idea there's a grenade in your heart. You're like, "If I pull it out, it'll bleed to death." >> Okay. Wait. So Mackie Mackey told uh not Arbiter, maybe Arbiter to not kill Jon Halo, but they just left him to potentially be killed by a bunch of random elites and jackals. >> This is We're under Resident Evil 4 rules. Resident Evil 4 rules. >> Resident 4 go. >> Do you think we'll see a green plasma shot from the most common weapon in the Covenant Arsenal, or do you think it'll all be blue forever? Still, I'm staggered by how accurate some Halo stuff is and then how inaccurate some of it is in terms of just the references cuz you you you talking about like green blasts from there, but it's like they how do you think it happened? >> Only some people cared. So like the people who made the B I think the battle rifle is an excellent example. They knew to make a really good looking battle rifle, but they didn't know to have it be a burst fire weapon >> or like how Vanic had a DMR with no scope on it. >> Yeah, burst firing now. >> They figured out the fire. It might be >> the snarling has stopped. >> IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? [screaming] >> I LIKE THE IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? It's like you kind of got brutalized YOUR TEAM. >> OH MY GOD. It is. Is it a hunter? >> Oh no. It's just a big brute. Okay. >> Okay. Just shoot him. >> Probably should have said anything, but I said it. >> I shouldn't have said [clears throat] he No. Okay. No, they went behind cover. >> Just like old time. Shut up. >> Just like Oh my god, this this dialogue, man. Cliche line after cliche line. Oh, grab hammer. >> All right, y'all should be dead. >> Remember when like four ODSDs killed a chieftain? >> What's going to happen with these Spartans? No. No. >> Shoot his hand off. >> Why is he so low? >> Wow. Danger. Close. >> Yeah. Jesus Christ. >> What is that? >> Oh, there you go. We did it. >> They were just going to stand there and just like shoot him and hopefully he wouldn't kill them. >> Oh. Uhoh. >> Oh, no. Oh, it's you. Wow. Wow. >> Oh wow. >> He flew across the galaxy to save. [laughter] >> You've got to be kidding. >> The jackles got to get going. >> Oh no. Head shot enemies. I was about to say they'd be so easy to take out the five of them, but oh well. >> Quad quad is here. Everyone >> so cringe. >> We're tying the plot lines together. Beautiful. Just like he saved her, she saved him. And it's like poetry. It rhymes. >> Where are you going? No, YOU'RE ON THE SHIP. WHY DID YOU LEAVE? >> WHY? What's the time? >> Going to grab him. >> Grab who? Who? >> Who's still behind? >> You getting the corpse? Are you serious? >> She's haloing all over the place. >> Are you stupid? >> No. What? What is going on? >> So, she just >> She's just going to make it, isn't she? She'll she'll nail it. >> [ __ ] off. What are you doing? This is Tropic Thunder at this point. Okay. Like I mean you want pro proof of his body he can be officially listed as killed in action. >> No I think it is just I don't want to leave his dead body behind. >> Never leave a man behind even if he's dead. >> The problem is the Covenant are really mean this is not end at all. [laughter] >> Come on. Just jackal sniper shot through the head. Just pull it. >> Oh no. The repercussions of my actions. [laughter] >> Oh that was bad. She landed on the uh she landed on the rail. She'll be fine. They'll [ __ ] They'll throw her in a medical thing and she'll be fine. >> They're not going to kill her. No way. >> Spartans are only ever listed as missing an action. So recovering a Spartan's body would actually be detrimental. >> You are thinking about it far too much. >> If he had if he had his armor, he would be worth saying is that that scene is only worthwhile if we knew the relationship that they had. >> [clears throat] >> Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? What's going on here? >> This is the flashback. >> Was that a flash forward or is this a flashback? >> That was a flashback when they >> to whatever happened between season 1 and two. Yeah. >> Sever the connection. >> Oh my god. >> Please, will you help him? What are you prepared to do for me? >> Okay, so wait, so she was involved in the evil scheme? Well, we kind of knew that already. >> Like her going for that body. You need to do the work to set up why we would find that meaningful. >> Well, something that is really awkward for them is that uh the way that they acted in season 1 when they had their pellets was like robots. They didn't act like they were pals. So, that's a new development, right? >> Emotional children again. >> And I don't remember [ __ ] all about the camaraderie or the nature or the chemistry of this team. >> Vanic and RZ, they were barely in season one. It was all about John Halo and Kai. They were the characters. Those two. >> Well, that's the thing, right? It' be like even if they were, you'd need to do it for season 2 cuz that's where the scene happens. You need to get some stuff of those two. Do they share a scene? Do they talk to each other in the season? >> I think that they the best that you've got is when they were on the mission and that training thing and that's it. It was She got way more time with blind guy. >> It would be funny because I'm I'm joking about this, but like it actually would have been better if he was like, you know, if you ever died, I'd make sure your body got back home. And then she's like, that's great. [laughter] I expect that I would do that for you, too. Okie dokie. There you go. >> Now that you ha like, oh my god. Oh, wow. Wow. Well, >> I guess we're jumping far ahead. >> Yeah, I guess that's it for the war episode. That's dunzo. >> Why are you crying? You're responsible for this. >> [ __ ] you. I hate you. They dropped that tear in front of her face. They just squeezed an eyropper bottle in front of her eye. They >> put a bunch of of fake tears in her eyelashes and then just told her to blink. >> So, I'm just going to call him Arbiter, not Arbiter, cuz he is an arbiter, but he's not the arbiter. So, >> not Arbiter. >> Not the shortest name. >> Yeah, you did protect him. What's that about? Huh? >> I'm surprised you even waste time talking to her. >> God, the elite armor looks so lame. >> Kill her. Kill her. Kill her. >> I I thought that they were going to get rid of her. I I foolish as I was. I thought she was dead when she got shot through the chest. >> [music] >> Can you be more [ __ ] specific, please? >> If she was a little bit smarter, what what is more likely that only is astoundingly stupid or that they left it behind on purpose? I don't know. In this world, >> the show is so poorly written. I don't know which one. >> But I assume what is saying is that they should entertain that this is a trap. >> She seems to know it's Cortana and is hiding that fact. Well, yeah, cuz she went to she vaguely knows about Cortana >> and she said it's all of human knowledge. >> I don't know if John Halo actually told her that, though. >> Rip them off. Rip them off. Rip them all out. Rip them off. Rip them all out. No reason, John Halo. >> That's what you do. >> I almost want to see that. >> This is such a cliche. I want to see that scene in a movie or TV show. They rip it all out, slowly walk, and just die like from blood [laughter] loss. And it's like, oh well, there you go. >> Because they're there for no reason. I put so much work into putting those into you. Why did you rip them all out? >> Don't rip. Are you going to go rip hers out? >> Yeah. >> No. [laughter] >> He's like homeopathy. >> She's got her sleep apnea. >> Bring in the smell ex >> Oh my god. John Halo and Hoy. Oh, what an exciting reunion. >> She [laughter] shouldn't have gone back for him. She knows better than that. >> You need to rest. >> Is she going to live? >> Yes. She ain't dying. >> Yeah, of course. >> Never going to die. >> John Halo. There were too many deaths last episode. Nobody's dying for a while. >> She thought she had something to prove. Don't even bother. So she did something pointless. >> I used that to push her. >> Oh, is that what they're saying? The reason was pushes her so hard. >> Oh, it's John back into the training. Remember, get up. >> Those are two very different things. You need the emotional investment in the character and the nature of like honoring the dead. That's different from make sure you do your best in the mission. You know, >> you're not a machine. >> What am I then? >> Tell him what he is. >> WHAT AM [screaming] I? >> YOU ARE the worst person I know. What really bothers me is you pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. God, you're pretentious. And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible. But you know what? I could forgive all of that. All of it if you weren't such a boore. You're just a big sad alcoholic bore. >> Hold my hand. Let's cry together. What? >> Look at her. Look at her. >> Oh, I thought I was going to yell. Look at her a second time. >> No, baby is going to be slightly unhinged as per usual. >> Let go. Tell me what you see. Is that a woman or a weapon? >> It could be both. >> Give me both. >> They left us down there to die. Onie knew we wouldn't make it. >> I know. >> Are we actually meant to conclude that Onie left them? Like they they were deliberately sabotaging them essentially. They wanted him to get killed. >> Pretty dangerous level of sabotage, you know? >> Yeah. It implies that on thinking, "Oh yeah, we'll win the war, but we don't need the Spartans." >> Well, and that's if they were trying to get them killed cuz the Spartans could have just evaced, right? >> No evac, no armor. Only knew we wouldn't make it. I think that John Halo's statement that that was on's intention is the writers telling us that that was on's intention. >> We got to get back together. >> People in they need me. >> Reach. I think they believe Reach is kind of done entire episode on it. Man, >> they did an episode. Why would they ever do a whole game or a whole book for instance when they could do one episode? >> It's like an episode dedicated to World War II. >> I've been told that episode is awesome and filled with incredible action scenes. I liked it when they went pew pew and the guns lit up and the covenant fell down. >> I told him what would happen. I told >> I like his peel on abdomen wound. >> You just take it off, you'll be better. >> He already knew and they did nothing. >> They knew and they did nothing. It's insane, ain't it? >> It's almost like all those injection things and you had a purpose. John, >> if I just have my armor. >> Are we doing something here about Oh, you know what? Your armor doesn't make you. It's the man inside. >> I mean, it genuinely sounds true though. If he had his armor, if Cortana was with him, too, he would have dominated. >> Yeah, he would have. We know in season one, he saved the day with his armor and Cortana taking over his corpse. >> I wasn't even thinking about puppet Cortana. I was just thinking about the Cortana in the games is the reason he's supposed to be able to have such great reaction time and be able to track so many enemies and stuff, but they don't care. >> Reach wasn't an accident. It was a plan. I know. You see? >> Oh, no. Not Mackie again. >> We're going to get a lot more of her now, aren't we? >> I summon you. Next time you can just push the little button there. Cortana, why are you talking to her? Now she knows you're an AI. >> Is Cortana supposed to gain their trust or something? But again, it's really dumb of them to activate her like this. >> This is the command vessel of Argati, former Supreme Commander. >> Oh, he's former commander. I think they are setting him up. >> Oh well, he is not. Yeah, he's not Arbiter Rags. >> So, he's a different identical in >> He's a different Arbiter. He's not the Arbiter. He's not our boy. I consider it a blessing that normal regular Arbiter is spared from this show. >> What are you to him, Master Chief? We work together. Why would you tell her this? >> He remembers you. >> Does this Cortana have any loyalty? >> They don't have much of a relationship, but she was she defected from Holly to help John Halo. So, yes. >> Why are you swapping languages in the middle of the conversation? It's very rude. >> John, >> just so that she can say that line, >> you and I wear the same Cortana and Macki. >> Why did she come out? Um, it's hard to even talk about it because I need more information on like I already wonder what the [ __ ] is going through Macky's head. Like, is she plugged into the ship's computer? >> She got shot in the heart, man. And she's just around. I don't know if we're meant to just conclude that she miraculously survived or if there was some crazy tech that had something to do with that. I wouldn't be surprised if the show said the Forerunner [ __ ] did that. Made her not be dead. >> We're going to get her help when we get on the ground. >> Where? Busted mining outpost. >> Oh, expanse land again. Yay, busted mining. >> I have just completely moved on. I'm glad being destroyed. >> Well, I mean, Reach is not a big deal. It's like an outpost on distant planet. >> Yeah, it's just it's just a minor thing. >> Come on. This way. >> Shouldn't Master Chief be like, "Holy [ __ ] [ __ ] it's you." Instead, we're just back together and he has nothing to say about his threeday rotten corpse. >> You stay with him at night every night. >> What was What was Quan with him? I forget. So John Halo saved Quan from the insane order that the UNC gave to execute her cuz she just didn't want to say something positive about the UNC. He took her to meet Saurin and then left and then they didn't hang out for the rest of the season. >> No corpse guy between her and Yeah. What's her connection to? >> No connection at all. She never met him. >> So she's just a weirdo that sleeps with corpses. >> Oh my god. Really? They just went to Texas and >> Yeah. We're overreach. You got an episode. You got to hold an entire episode. >> They just went to the boring north part of Texas and filmed somewhere. >> I even think they opened with an action scene to try and convince you. It's like this is why we're allowed now to have an hour or maybe even 2 hours of nothing. >> You got your [ __ ] reach. Let us do our [ __ ] now, please. >> It's like you know her injury here. Like it's not like we're doing anything. >> Is this going to be all right? >> Yep. We know. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, we figured. >> There. >> Okay. >> Are you coming >> to where? >> Where? >> Where? Is there something over there? Did we miss a scene? There's a plot [laughter] over there. What is this? The world's biggest rocking chair. What? >> There's a quest giver that's just refreshed. >> Remember how we saw a bird when uh when Vanic died? There's a bird again. >> Does Chief know about the bird thing, though? The chief chief wouldn't know about that, would he? >> The bird is just fresh. >> I don't want to even hear about the northern range. All them parcels is gone. >> Reach got destroyed. And they're just like, "All right, let's have a little chill chat with this guy. Why don't you tell me what you're looking for and I'll tell you where you can find it. >> That is how conversations normally go. >> But if we We're getting meta about a conversations instead of having one. >> Kesler, he's 10 years old. >> He was on a transport ship when it landed here a couple of days ago. >> Star Warren dragged John Halo and the rest of them over to this planet specifically dealing with like his problems personally when John Halo could be helping with the war. >> They don't seem that bothered by it, so whatever. >> UNC never give a [ __ ] about the Covenant coming for the outer colonies. shouldn't be so surprised that their chickens came home to roost. >> Ah, see, we can't see more of Reach because they're making a point about nobody cared about the outer planet. So, why should we care about Reach? >> Because it's an existential threat to every human. >> You imagine the logistic issues that are happening for the UNC right now that we're not going to look at. >> He left him lying under a sheet. We have to bury him. >> You don't bury a Spartan. >> Why is Quan so invested in Vanic? She didn't >> know. That's what we were asking earlier. It's very weird. >> And these two do know each other, but we've got no like, oh, wow, it's you. Isn't it a little bit strange as well that they've had nothing for keys? They're just like, "Eh, whatever. Keys." Eh, even though they've known Keys for as long as they've known each other. >> The moment a person becomes a Spartan, their life in your world ends. They live in mine. There are no burials. >> But we still need to deal with the corpse that's been rotting in our hold for 3 days. >> Yeah, that's another thing. >> Give him a funeral. >> Let's bury him. Let's throw him in space. We just have to do something. John, >> you're going to wish you had taken this chance. You have no idea what I gifted. Oh, see she wish she could give a funeral for her dad. That's what it is. It's compelling human drama. >> No. Screw you. I'll bury him myself. >> I like the [ __ ] at the start of of dialogue will happen just so that they can set up whatever happens at the end of the dialogue. >> This is all they've got. But the drama is real simple. I didn't get to bury my dad. So, you should bury your friend. But I'm not much of a human myself. Me, John Halo. But I'll come around to your strange human ways. That's it. That's all this is. >> You put them in the ground and you leave them there or they will follow you. It's a totally acceptable perspective for John Halo to be like this is just like the body. My friend is gone. Like I don't put a lot of stock in the remains because the person is gone. They're no longer with us. And that's an okay perspective to have. >> He can he could literally just feel that way and that's fine that there's logic that also. Let's be clear. The Master Chief should be famous everywhere. He's a celebrity. Everyone should be going, "Holy [ __ ] [ __ ] it's Master Chief." >> The thing is, I don't know if they know what he looks like. >> He walks around. He's got the 117 vest >> and he goes to titty bars all the time. >> All those people, they're gone. A whole planet. Does none of that touch you? >> Does none of this make you sad? It's like, uhoh, yeah. >> You want me to be sad? Somebody's got to keep moving forward. >> Okay, we're just going to explain why we're not dealing with it. >> Oh, now they've just got family drama. >> You ran from the rubble. When Ruby came for us, it was all >> Hold on. >> Oh, see, we got to we got to tie up the subplot that occupied a good deal of time for those first few episodes. I do want you to be sad and I do want you to be scared because that's where I am and I want you with me. >> Oh, you're a shitty person then. Or >> that's a little bit weird, isn't it? >> I'm sad and scared so you need to be sad and scared. >> I don't know. That seems like so that seems like a toxic relationship. You should >> is also just drawing attention how nobody's talking about uh breach. >> Oh no, put it back on. >> She's her true self now. >> So her hair is like marginally different, I guess. >> And then she pulls that wig off and there's another wig. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Wait a minute. She's going to be okay. Oh, she's going to rip him off now. Rip him off. Do it. Wake him in a hospital bed. Rip him off. Do it. Do it. Do it. >> Oh, someone else did it for her. Oh, that's no fun. >> Holly knew what was going to happen and did it preemptively. >> I was 14. I woke up after the augmentation and >> I was bigger, faster, stronger, too. I'm the seventh member of the Cobalt crew. >> He's not in the Cobalt crew. >> So many that were better than me didn't survive. >> We should have had maybe, if this was a good show, a whole flashback episode to them growing up and going through the process training. We blew all all our budget last episode, so now we just need a bottle episode. >> That was like the first third to half of Fall of Reach. >> We allude to that, but come on. All the fans read the book, so we don't have to show any of that. >> I taught you everything except how to quit. I don't do it for you, >> man. You wouldn't think that a whole planet got destroyed last episode, would you? >> I think the issue no one talks about like the Covenant being a threat to humanity. No one is being like, "Holy [ __ ] aliens are kind going to kill us." Everyone's like, "Nah, I got to go back to the old salt mines." You know, >> they're writing it like it's just a fact of life. >> I don't believe she's pulling that body with that much ease. >> No, she's a superpowered person. >> Wait, actually, she killed somebody with a thermometer in the >> She's on a sled. It wouldn't be that hard. >> Big guy. >> No, on a sled you you can haul a lot of weight in the snow. >> I would love if she went all that way and then she couldn't dig because like the ground's frozen. >> I was actually going to say digging in [ __ ] snow ground. Yeah, that's tough [ __ ] I like how Master Chief is just not helping her bury the friend. >> Well, he's got busy things to do like standing around. >> Yeah, he has to stand here. His [ __ ] expanse coat. >> This is an expanse code, isn't it? >> Mhm. >> It really is. >> Make it look like a regular coat but a little bit floo. >> All the stuff Ridley didn't want for Bladeunner. Just send it here. We'll use it. >> What happened on Reach wasn't personal. It was political. >> It was Barangaski. >> You are not digging a hole. You just scraped dirt off the top. It was already loose and you just scraped it off the top. You can't grieve an entire planet. It's too big. Our minds won't let it be real. >> Yeah, I don't know about that one, Chief. >> I disagree. Uh, if Earth were obliterated, I would [ __ ] be talking about it. [laughter] >> Surely there's some like excavation equipment here at this mining planet that they could borrow. >> Yeah, shovel is excavation equipment. >> I never got to bury anyone. >> Wait, who are all those people? >> Oh, the village. The village people are coming to kill the witch. >> Not my people. Not my family. Somehow, I need you to be everyone that's gone. I like how Quan is just declaring her motives for doing this. >> Did you not notice a bunch of people with torches were coming towards you? >> Oh, are they like pro this? Are they going to be like funeral flames? >> They have all of their red outfit here. >> It would be funny if they were like you have to eat him to gain his courage. >> You know how we never get to eat a spart? >> They're holding like a f. They're like come on be rude. >> How did you choose me? >> We created the genetic profile. We surveyed all the children of >> No. Why me? >> They're having a conversation here about him being lucky as ordained by the universe. Right. >> Yeah, that's what luck is. >> Yeah, he picked that in the character creator. >> Tell the truth just once. >> Well, Ze, have you ever felt that this was all pre-ordained by some forrunner lady window behind him? >> He's crazy trying to take him. You can't put him in the ground. Burn this body. Let him find his way. I beg to differ. >> Why do you care so much? But also like it's literally as I predicted. It's literally just we don't bury people here. Let's burn them. Yeah. >> Insist on it too. They insist on you having free burial service. Like why are you complaining? >> Their service is fire. Hers is soil. His is nothing. Like this is just weird conflict. >> This is loss. >> This isn't death. This is loss. >> They said this is loss. >> Put him in the sky. >> A bunch of people in red outfits came out there with tiki torches and said, "You can't bury him. We have to burn him." And she's like, "No, we going to bury him and not burn him." And then Master Chief came out and he said, "No, let them burn him." And that was a scene. >> Did they reuse the red outfits from the first episode? >> They look similar. >> Dude, can you imagine if the five of us were sitting around and then I look out the window and go, Oh, one of the locals is trying to bury someone. Guys, get your get your torches. You put on your little coats. You're like, "Okay, here we go." >> Look at his jacket. It's so weird. >> I'm glad she got rid of the wig because now there's one less white-haired character in this show. >> Yeah. One to go or two to go. Really? >> Yeah. Hoy and the other one. >> Wow. Patrician hates the whites. >> Oh, look. Rex Silo. >> You're letting the he out. >> Yeah. Like like what are you doing? >> What do you want? >> Good evening. >> You're trespassing. >> Well, we could do We're here for our son. >> Look at his ass. >> The hell he is. >> Now, let's calm down. >> Shouldn't he be like a bit more upset about his son? >> He was half starved when he got here. Looked like he been slapped around a little, too. >> What did you say? >> Didn't say she slapped him. >> Guess we know who's responsible for that now. [ __ ] you. [laughter] >> I mean, yeah, you could be. >> I like the Sard's like, "So, this is useless to us. You going this >> They have him." >> Is he about to say like, "Yeah, you shouting doesn't solve our problem, you dumb bitch." Calm down. >> What are we going to do? >> I can handle this. >> You're just going to kill him. Probably >> it's a negotiation. >> It's our son. >> Either they give him over or Saurin kills them. Obviously, >> here's a spawn. So, >> is there going to be like the gunshots? >> Oh, okay. All right. >> I don't know why they're not showing. We don't even know if it's the right kid yet. Okay, here we go. >> Oh, they just let him walk in. >> Yeah, that's weird. >> Oh, you all seem ready. >> You never know when the world's going to fall apart. >> So, like, if they're preppers, why are they living in like an obvious silo? If the Covenant showed up, they would know that there's people there. >> This is some really good tea. [clears throat] >> You said to give you five minutes. >> If you said he'd only have five minutes, why did you give him tea? [laughter] >> Did he steal the tea? Did he take the tea? >> I grew up in a place just like this. Means I know what it is to scratch out of life. >> Does he not want to just confirm immediately if the kid is the correct kid? >> Is there ever quite enough to go around? >> We get by. >> Man, you seriously wouldn't think that the Covenant just destroyed one of the most important planets to humanity last episode. Yeah, some hyperfiller. Like, this is some delaying us for no reason at all [ __ ] >> I know what an extra pair of hands can mean. >> That's how you hold a shotgun. >> Oh my god, that was terrible. >> Oh no. Is she going to get kidnapped, too? >> Oh, here we go. Why are you wandering off into the darkness? >> Our boy isn't for sale. >> You just bought him. Why do you have that much emotional >> or killer? Throw a tea at him. Throw >> a chair or something at a >> This is nothing like where I grew up. >> Tell him a story. >> Convince him. >> That'll eat a few more minutes. >> I was born in hell. >> Yeah, I was in the Halo show. >> Did you just randomly bump into the kid running? >> No way. >> Maybe. >> What? She just randomly walked around and he was wearing a helmet. So, it could be someone else. >> It's okay. It's really me. >> Now I'm starting to wonder if he's just bait for like tourists and they can get captured or something. >> But why would he be running out here randomly hoping that some lady randomly is wandering around out here and >> that's why I'm saying I assume he's bait cuz it's just so random and weird. >> I live in fear that my boy will ever know that feeling. The absence of love. >> We're going to get a reveal on both ends of this story. >> I am grateful that you're the ones that took him in. I know in time he'd find love here. >> What's the reveal? What's the twist? Give it to me. White kid. White kid. White kid. >> White kid. White kid. >> So why isn't he like saying anything? >> A boy gave it to me on the transport. >> Dude, what a [ __ ] coincidence that there was an identically aged boy who was also black. >> Around with that helmet just as she was out walking. >> Yeah. If he was just 30 seconds later or earlier, she wouldn't have seen him. >> They're going to let her see Kesler. >> There was no twist. >> But there was almost a twist. And he didn't know that at the time. So that's cinema. >> And board rags. Help. Sir, >> no it's not castling. >> We got one minute of conversation with an elite in Maki. >> I just don't get it with the writers of the show. It's like you have the power to tell any story you want. Why are you wasting my [ __ ] time to do? >> What is this plot line? What are you doing? >> He's discovering his humanity. You philistines. [laughter] >> Reach was more than a place. It was a monument to the human spirit. >> Wait, she's got them griefing. A bunch of people that have no connection to it. >> God, this is so slap dash. Like there's a show over the show. >> This is them morning reach. It's just them standing out in a [ __ ] snowy field with a bunch of PEOPLE THAT DON'T KNOW. JUST SOME RANDOMS. >> His family buried him when he was six. They never knew him. >> I just like that they showed Riz's uh crutches to be like, you see, her wounds have consequences. It's like, will they? Will they? >> She spent an entire episode on crutches. What do you mean there's no consequences? >> His name was Vanic 134. He was a Spartan. >> Uh, John, these are like random people. Why are you sharing this information? >> It's like someone's like, "What's a Spartan?" >> This was not an ordinary man. >> Thank goodness Quan is here. >> Yeah, it's really good that essential. [laughter] >> Everything that he was, everything that he gave, he never dies. >> Man, he looks pristine for being >> Yeah, that corpse is really going to start smelling. You know, >> your fight is not done. >> He's dead, bud. >> I will find the ones who caused your death >> and I will end them. >> They're on reach. No, but he mean he means the humans rags, not the Covenant, >> which again priorities, John. Like the aliens are the clear [laughter] and present threat right now. >> I will avenge you. >> I just want someone to sit down and be like, Jonathan, please. Reach is Oh, it was so important. >> It's on fire right now. Noble 6 is currently on a objective survive mission. Jeez, I'm just like watching the show and I'm thinking about the Halo games and I'm like, "What the fuck?" >> You would barely even connect that this is a Halo show if you just watched this episode. >> They just wanted their own sci-fi show. That's it. They wanted their own sci-fi show and they're like, "Oh well, [ __ ] Hey, we can use that to get people." >> Could you imagine if you imagine if there was a throwin line of like a report says that Noble Six are all dead. >> Wouldn't it be better to spare them from being a part of this show? >> Oh, I guess better than seeing it. Can you imagine how badly they would adapt it? >> Whatever built the Halo left something in you. This is the first time that they mention how >> No, they're addressing the librarian's plot point. Yeah, this is >> Of course they are. Of course they are. Dude, >> I was [ __ ] [ __ ] posting about that. >> No, it's absolutely rooted in that 343 [ __ ] >> You can take us to the Halo. >> I don't even know what it is. You don't know what it is, Hoy. You don't know what it is. >> You have no idea what this is. >> The survival of our species depends on what it can teach us. >> Is it bad that I just want to get to the flood just to see them doing flood stuff? I think we're very far away from that. >> No, I know. That's why I'm saying it. Yeah, we're like six seasons from that. >> That's why I'm Well, with these [ __ ] I wouldn't be surprised if it was season 3 stuff. >> I think it'll be really interesting to see John have sex with the >> Well, remember the flood. The flood will be a human woman or something who's just great. >> Join us. >> What? >> Oh no. What are we doing here? >> Did you say something to me? >> I speak for the planet. Uh, >> how the [ __ ] are you alive? >> How the [ __ ] are you alive from episode one? Mysticism, rags. Remember mysticism? >> How are you alive? >> Okay. >> Oh, is this actually magic? >> Well, they establish magic. >> There was magic. There was magic in the Halo show. Remember in season one? >> My skin is broken. My heart. >> Who the hell are you? Who are you? >> Who are me? I don't. >> Yeah. Who is talking? >> You're ha. >> Wait, if you do, why'd you ask? >> You forgot your name. >> Get away from me. I didn't fall over. >> Find me. Deliver me. Save me. >> Dude, Vanic is like, "What's going on? [laughter] >> Leave me alone. Protector." >> I can't wait to find out about this in season 3. >> That's partly why I think the flood will be brought in cuz they'll need to jangle some keys and they've jangled a lot. >> Cuz you see in these drawings like I saw something that looked like the ark. I presume that's something for the flood. Or maybe Oh, [ __ ] It could be that died act or whatever. Could be some of that. >> We know if they've got nobody noticed that she was having a [ __ ] schizophrenic break. >> That's in her mind. It's magic. Remember >> you okay there, bud? >> The thing about keyjangling is that they've closed so many opportunities to do it as well. >> Oh, I didn't say that they're competent at keyjangling. [laughter] >> They're going to run out of keys. Wow, High Charity looks like [ __ ] >> Why are you here? >> Do you know what they'll do to us if we disobey their order to come home? >> So, he was supposed to find the two pieces. He only found one >> even though the second one was. They must have taken it with him, right? Renee, so keep looking. If the Covenant are like, "Go here and get these two things." And you go and you're like, "Yeah, only one of them was there." One of them was physically not present. They wouldn't be like, "Oh, this is your fault." >> Is the fact [clears throat] that they took Reach just not that important to them as a victory? >> Wouldn't they have recognized from destroying all of everything in it that it was important to the humans? >> Well, it only took one episode, so >> Okay. >> I mean, I guess it's Cortana projecting that. >> But why though? I don't know. Maybe she thinks Maki can help her. >> Not offer is like pretty. >> I'm pretty sure the Covenant knew about Halo like even before Reach. >> Dude, it'd be funny if he was like, "Is this real or like AI? Are you like are you using mid JD or whatever?" [laughter] >> I don't like it when they do that. >> So, what does that human machine you're holding do? Anyways, >> so are they going to go rogue to look for the other piece? >> I guess so. >> That's got to be the hook for the end of the season, right? >> Wait, wait. So, they're taking they're taking this orbiter to Halo. >> Wow. They're going to be a dynamic duo who goes looking for the other people. Why? >> I don't get it. I don't know what they were even doing here. >> What a bizarre plot point. There's no way they do this. He's going to be like, "No, this is insane." >> So, >> wait. So, Katana wants them to find the other piece. >> Honestly, Rags, I don't We have to wait until like the end of the season before we can judge what the [ __ ] Katana's up to >> cuz they need to tell us what they're [ __ ] >> Yeah. I don't know what a motive is. >> Cortana wants to go to Halo to escape, I guess. >> Are there Is there no one else in this spaceship? It's just the two of them. >> There's no other troops. >> There's got to be some other guys backing them up. And how do they feel about this? >> But it's going to be way cheaper to just one. >> The arbiter was not like a commander. >> Hello. >> Remember how they had like conversation with blind guy of like, oh, you know, you don't have to be a Spartan. Do you think that they're going like in that direction that she's going to give it up? I think maybe >> he has to take up his legacy of being blind. >> Give it up and and live a normal life. >> Can I help you? >> The closest thing to a military we're gonna get in this episode is General Store. >> Didn't recognize you. >> Nice. >> Where's that uh fellow that was with you? >> He wanted to come. He can be a bit emotional >> cuz she's going to beat him with a barbar. >> Yeah, I want my boy back. So, I'm going to be doing stuff to you now. >> Whereas I see this kind of situation a bit more clearly. >> What's funny is Saurin seems to actually make progress. She's probably going to get the plot protecting her on that front. Sauron's not [ __ ] He's also ruthless at times either and she should know that. >> You know, we got a lot of kids coming through here. >> Why is he scared of her? Shouldn't he have a gun? >> I would have my gun out already. >> As soon as you she started being weird like, >> yeah, just get out. >> The other day I caught a scent in the air that took me back. >> Let her get close to you with her weapon. >> Oh my god. Don't let her get close to you with the weapon. What's funny is well, if she hits him, you could totally just grab her arm and be like, I'm stronger than you. Oh my god. That came way too close to your head, man. >> He's so scared. He's really scared of her. >> Wait, he took that kid's sentimental helmet away? Come on, man. That that symbolizes the kid that gave me that >> cuz she's the emotional one and he's like the cool levelheaded one. Castle, >> the UNC turn him into a Spartan cuz he's got the jeans. >> It really does feel like that should have been Saurin's scene, not his. >> I'm going to be fine. >> I'm going to stay here. >> Get your head in the cave. >> My fight's over. Reach just got [ __ ] [laughter] burned to the ground and your fight is over. Okay. >> Even if you couldn't physically fight through military intelligence. >> Yeah. Wouldn't you be like logistics, planning, tactics, training, >> not taking your orders anymore? >> Stand up. >> I would just appeal to the fact that uh she's one of the few people that can make a significant difference. Unless, of course, they're implying this is permanent a walking thing. >> No, but it's it's more than just the walking. It's that she's tired of it. >> Well, that Yeah, but you can counter appeal that. be like, "Hello, >> we lost Reach, Kai." >> I know. >> Then what are you going to do about it? >> I'm going to live. >> Yeah, but what good >> What about all the people who want to live and won't be able to without you? >> Yeah. Why? Why don't everyone just decide to live? When the Covenant show up on Reach, they should have been like, "Nope, sorry, Covenant. >> You going to turn your back on humanity while they all suffer. We owe them RZ. >> It's just pain. All you can do is carry it." >> I'd also be like, "Do you think they'll never come to this planet?" >> Why would anyone come to this planet? [ __ ] >> If you don't make peace with it, it will crush you. I won't let it crush me. No, you're just not going to help. >> She's going to abandon humanity. You're abandoning. You're running away. >> Capable of helping. >> You are actually capable of helping. Yes. And you're just running. >> Don't even make that argument. >> You're all I have left. >> Make better arguments. You are uniquely in a position to help. And you're giving up. >> We're at an alltime low right now. >> Yeah. This is the worst it's ever been. And And you're walking away. >> The Ria's [ __ ] cowarded out of that one cuz I don't think she can address it. >> Yep. Her contract's up. Man, got to ride her out. >> So, you're no one now. >> God, this episode was long. >> Yeah, 4 hours. >> But boy, it sure was cheap. >> Hey, we we saw him kind of coming this way. So, >> they had to drive him out to the middle of the desert. >> He totally deserved uh John shouting at her that she's selfish. >> Wow, she's leaving behind her dog tags. >> Well, and that would be helpful because we have gotten a very limited amount of his perspective on it all. >> Is the suggestion of the dog tags that she wants them to say that she died? >> Who is she proving that to the evil on guy? Oh no, not Onyx. You don't have time for Reach, but you're going to do Onyx. They gave an entire episode for Reach, dude. >> That looks terrible. [laughter] >> Welcome to Planet Green Screen. >> Look at the black outline on it. Damn. >> Ooh, that looks Oo, what? >> Oh, that looks bad. >> God, that looks really bad. Also, what is that? What out? >> That's the Spartan threes from Ghost of Onyx. >> Do we We Do we have time? [laughter] We're not going to Halo. Halo is season 6 territory. >> Yeah, we have to go to North Texas and [ __ ] around with barbed wire on a stick. >> It is unreal [clears throat] how much they're doing all of these desperate like subplots. They can't just focus on one thing. >> I can't believe they're they're trying to pull off Ghost of Onyx. >> Yeah, they're not trying to pull it off. They're trying to little pieces of it. >> They threw it in there cuz some people will watch that and go like >> that's like saying they're doing reach. So that's one more key jangled off which means no noble team references because it would not make sense. >> I like that you say they wouldn't do a thing. It wouldn't make sense. [laughter] >> Literally everything between Reach and Onyx was pointless. >> Go back and look when the doors closing on her. The black outline on her for the green screen is awful. It's like it's almost like a [ __ ] cartoon. Like the black outline. I mean >> Yeah. Yeah. Like it's line art. >> They have so much money. What the [ __ ] [laughter] >> Yeah. I mean they made a physical helmet. They just didn't make a set for this one shot, which which is fine. It's one shot. Why would you make a set? But then like invest the money in somebody that can do a better green screen >> like [ __ ] Not a single one of those Spartan threes was real. They were all >> No, those are all fake. >> You remember all of the armies from the Hobbit movies? They all look identical. They're all completely in, you know, lock step tandem. >> Do any of these guys know that Reach has fallen? And how do they feel about that? And that they weren't there. The thing is, when a show is this bad in terms of speculating what's going to happen in the future, it's between like what could actually happen based on all of the threads that they've established versus, "Yeah, but they're incompetent, so what are they actually going to do?" If you ask me where do you think this season's going to go, I kind of I'm I'm lost. I don't know where it's going to go >> at this at this point. The [ __ ] Infinity could show up. >> It could. Anything could happen. They're pulling from all across the timeline. >> A very lame assumption is that we get to the Halo at the end, right, of the season. >> Yes. I think we're going to get to Halo at the end of the season. >> They're going to have to rush one of these episodes. Oh man. Could you imagine the show? >> They can and they will. >> They need a hook to save the show because I think they're legitimately probably worried that they're going to get cancelled any second. And so, >> yo, yeah, it was a two seasonason deal, wasn't it? >> It was a one season deal and then they got season 2, but we don't know if they got season 3 yet. Uh, and I mean, if it got cancelled, I wouldn't necessarily be surprised. I don't know who the show is for. Uh, if you're a Halo fan, I don't really see how you could enjoy it. Uh, obviously I [ __ ] hate it. >> And if you're a fan of storytelling, >> me, >> yeah, if you just want to watch a science fiction show, what the [ __ ] does the show have to offer you? >> It really is all just like references. You have to get the references and just not engage with it critically to actually like this. >> It's so amazing, isn't it, that on one hand they expect that a lot of this gets filled in by people who are familiar with the source, but simultaneously they want to be like, don't rely on the source like we're doing our own. >> It's the worst of both worlds is what it is. elements without any fit into the [clears throat] original story, their purpose or thematic material. Any of the changes that they made, they weren't intelligent and thoughtful. They were just we got our own objectives here. We got our own story that we want to tell, but it's a Halo show, so throw in some [ __ ] Spartans, throw in a battle rifle, throw in some elites, just give them their [ __ ] I felt like this whole episode was very much [ __ ] you, you got reached. We're doing our own [ __ ] now. The same thing with the helmet stuff. They did the helmet stuff that they were obligated to do and then they wrote the armor out of the plot line. >> What clear? >> We can't have him in our in his armor, guys. Onie took it away from him. >> There's a reason for it. All right, you [ __ ] >> They might even get to the point now where him putting his armor back on will be an end of season payoff. >> I don't think that we're going to get any like Spartan in suit action until the end of the season. They'll do what they did in season one where they had the big like, "Look, we're doing the game thing, you [ __ ] idiots. All right, leave us alone. [laughter] I feel like that's what the Full of Reach episode was for. Like just shut the [ __ ] up. Leave us alone. >> John Halo fought Unreach for less than 8 hours. >> The game was an extended campaign over the course of a few months. >> It's a planet sitting over like enormous multiple battles. >> I feel like something they've continually fumbled is um how the Covenant glass. The glassing that they did was oftent times ceremonial. They would carve their religious symbols into the face of the planet. They didn't start their invasions by glassing sections of the city. You would you wouldn't know that if they didn't mention it or say anything about that. It's just like oh they just shoot their lasers from space cuz you know. >> But then like why do they even bother with the ground forces just shoot lasers from space? They have to set religious angles to justify why the ground battles are taking place. >> All of their wires are crossed though. It's the big problem that they have with the covenant. The fact that Macki is there means it can't be the same covenant because the whole point of the covenant is humans are bad. You can't have a covenant that is humans are bad. Also, one human is the central figure of our religion because only humans known by many people within the Covenant are capable of interacting with these artifacts. It's just it's [ __ ] up. >> It feels like something they thought they were clever for. They were like, "We'll have a human POV in the Covenant. Isn't that great?" >> Alien. >> Well, they they think that they have. They think that they've created a very compelling character in Mackie when she is the biggest problem with this show. >> I'll say from my perspective of not having seen the first season, just like season 2 is a fresh start. I've got no insight into like what the Covenant's like culturally based on just like one conversation. >> They've got the basic issue of most of the dialogue doesn't reflect character. It's just like sort of pushing things along and telling you what the writers think about stuff. >> So much of the conversation is not about the human covenant war for like John Halo or for Kai or for any of these characters throughout season 1. The fact that they're not talking about it means that you forget about it. It is evident that it's not that important to anybody because they don't really talk about it that much or how they feel about it. And similarly, there's such a limited amount of speculation or direct insight into why the Covenant is doing anything that you're completely lost. If you watch the show alone, you would have no reason to know. It's like, why the [ __ ] are the Covenant even doing this? Why are they killing humans? Why are they looking for these artifacts? Why does any of this matter to them? Why do they want to do this? Well, it's because that we've got like a whole bunch of, you know, the subplots that they want to do with the resistance and the insurgency stuff that they've now given up on, but still kind of have as an element like the expanse stuff. The vast majority of this episode was there's nothing for us to say about it really >> because it's hard to talk about it when it's just incoherent and you don't know where it's going to go because >> well also just kind of you know bread sandwich. There's just nothing here. >> I guess they did set up Resident Evil but before by having Sadler's cult show up to burn a body. I well I that's the thing that they got to justify Quan's existence in the story and that's the way they're going to do it is with the thing of her being connected to the forerunners which again when you talk about the crazy coincidences I wonder if we're actually going to get Hoy just [ __ ] expositing about how she's deduced the cosmic code of how everything is connected how all roads lead to Halo I hate it [ __ ] hate it >> I mean it just can't be understated this is not Halo this is a little bit of Halo flavoring sprinkled over some other random [ __ ] show >> like they bought a bunch of Halo stickers is in a party pack and put it on their own show. >> They really just do bookend the Halo parts of the Halo show at the front and end and then like the middle is just sludge. >> The middle is their [ __ ] again. It's just here's your chum now. [ __ ] off. We want to do our own [ __ ] >> Especially with this episode, dude. The [ __ ] Halo book ends is is funny. Almost like when they're finishing up the episode, they end it and they're like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Throw throw the [ __ ] Halo stuff on the >> A million Spartans." There you go. Are you happy? Look, they all got their helmets on, too. [ __ ] you. >> Goodbye. Goodbye, everybody. Friendly chopper inbound. [music] >> Mission accomplished. Well done. What you bring me?