Video summary
The video presents a spoiler-free review of the 2026 monster film *Don't Move*, a movie about a giant spider that attacks victims upon hearing any sound. The reviewer, who was approached by the film's creator James Murray to become friends after seeing his recap videos, initially hoped the film would live up to its violent and vicious premise. However, he ultimately finds the experience more of a chore than an enjoyable watch. Despite the promise of a terrifying arachnid, the creature remains largely unseen for most of the runtime, appearing only briefly and inconsistently in scale. Consequently, the reviewer feels let down by the lack of expected ferocity and murderous action, noting that the film fails to deliver on the intense kills it advertised.
A significant portion of the review focuses on the film's tonal inconsistencies and technical flaws. The movie struggles to maintain a cohesive atmosphere, oscillating between a brutal opening scene and a PG-13 level experience that feels underwhelming for an R-rated horror film. From a directing standpoint, the production quality is uneven, with shots jumping back and forth between high-quality footage and poorly framed scenes that lack creative depth. The reviewer points out specific examples of bad editing and lighting, suggesting that different teams may have shot separate pickups without proper continuity. Additionally, he criticizes a jarring audio mistake where background music fades in too harshly during dialogue, disrupting the immersion for viewers.
The narrative itself is criticized for its poor character dynamics and illogical plot choices. While the protagonist, played by Lindsay Fanaeka, is described as well-crafted with a sad backstory, the supporting cast behaves unconvincingly, particularly a church group that engages in swearing and drug use despite their setting. The reviewer highlights a particularly dumb scene where characters ignore a missing person to play hide-and-seek immediately after discovering another victim's body, which he finds baffling. Furthermore, the film relies heavily on off-screen kills with minimal visual payoff, reducing the horror elements to distant shots of blood or blurred images of feeding, which fails to capitalize on the unique mechanic of the spider hearing vibrations.
In conclusion, the reviewer rates *Don't Move* as passable but not recommended for a theatrical release, suggesting it is only worth watching on streaming services if one has nothing better to do. He expresses disappointment that the film missed the opportunity to explore its central concept of sound-based hunting, which was barely utilized until the very end. While he acknowledges the independent spirit behind such projects and encourages supporting indie artists, he remains honest about his lack of emotional connection to this specific movie. The video ends with the reviewer sharing personal recommendations for better spider films like *Arachnophobia* and *Sting*, while also promoting his own future writing projects and asking viewers to support his channel through Patreon or subscriptions.
Read the full video transcript
Anaconda, Deep Blue Sea, Lake Placid,
Jaws. There's tons of monster movies
that I absolutely adore for different
reasons. And so now here we are in the
grand 2026 with a brand new monster
movie about a giant spider who pounces
on its prey as soon as a sound is made.
It's appropriately titled Don't Move,
and I'm going to talk about it in a
spoiler-free review. I can't wait.
Let's begin.
[music]
Oh, I didn't see you there. You caught
me pretending to read this book that was
gifted to me by James Murray, a friend
from afar. Uh, here's the deal. He has a
movie in theaters now called Don't Move
Independently
Created or something. I don't know. He
He He said it was grassroots.
Can kind of tell. Anyway, he friended
me, I don't know, six months, a year ago
on social media. He came to me tears in
his eyes and he said, "Sir, as people
often do, I really love your stuff,
especially your recap videos on
Starfleet Academy and Stranger Things
season 5. What a what a [ __ ] show."
Anyway, you want to hang out and be
friends online? I said, "Yeah, he's been
on my show a couple times since. Did a
couple live streams. He did a Starfleet
Academy video with me and now he is
having his book in theaters as a movie."
That was a weird sentence, called Don't
Move. and he's been going around, you
know, really pitching this film and
talking about how great it is, of
course, because it's based on his story.
Anyway, I'm gonna give you a review of
it now. And
he gave me this book, gave me a few
other books as well. So,
we had a good run. Friendship uh
friendship over. Okay, let me tell you
why this movie is not very good.
[laughter]
I wanted to like this film. I really
did. Uh, but the truth is it was kind of
a chore to get through. Now, I don't
believe Mr. when he says that it's one
of the rare instances where the movie is
better than the book. I have really yet
to see that outside of Fight Club, which
is I'm just told is better than the
book. And Jurassic Park, I do like the
movie better than the book. But that's
mainly because my imagination is not
where Steven Spielberg's was in the '9s.
I can picture a giant spider though and
I can picture some pretty disgusting,
ferocious things that it could do to its
victims. And unfortunately, I didn't see
that in this movie. I'm actually
thinking of Jurassic Park Malcolm
specifically, mainly a line of dialogue
he says, which I'm going to change for
this movie. Now, there's actually going
to be spiders on this spider tour. I
think it takes a good hour before one
shows up. That doesn't necessarily mean
the movie's bad because of that. Jaws
takes his sweet ass time before he shows
up too, right? We just get teases here
and there. Um, but we're again in the
grand 2026 and I'm at a monster movie. I
expect a lot more vicious, murderous,
ravenous kills from this giant
arachnoid. But I ended up being giantly
annoyed because we did not get that. We
did not get the promise that I was told
by myrr that this was a violent,
vicious, no holds bars killing machine.
It was bloody. It was gross. It was
intense.
I actually thought this movie was maybe
PG-13 when all was said and done. I'm
shocked that it's even rated R. In fact,
I'm not sure it is. I got to look on
IMDb. Uh, as a matter of fact, off
camera, I had some of the interns, uh,
Trish over here. She did some research
on that. Several hours to find out what
the rating was. Can you hand me the Oh,
thank you. Uh, yeah. Okay. This is a
blank piece of paper. But I think what
she's getting at is it's not currently
rated. So, if I were to put a rating on
it, I would say PG-13's appropriate.
Now, the only thing that would maybe
push it into R is if there's a lot of
swearing, which I honestly can't tell
you because I'm so desensitized to the
salty language that I I really would not
have picked up if there was a lot of it.
There's probably a couple shits and and
and [ __ ] and pisses and penises and
vaginas and vaginas and some sort of a
mix between the two. Whatever that would
be, a penina or a vaginous, I don't I
don't know. This is a highbrow channel.
Subscribe. Keep in mind, Mr. reached out
to me to be friends first. He reached
out to me. The only thing that would
maybe tip this into a more adult film is
the fact that Hunter King is in this
thing. And dear God, the gals are on
display. No nudity,
but I mean, might as well be. We're
We're getting a Sydney Sweeny's amount
of cleavage throughout this thing. The
push-up bra is working extra hours to
make sure those ladies are perky and
ready to pounce. And that's really the
only thing that was keeping my attention
through most this movie. That and the
fact that I didn't really know what the
giant spider looked like because we ever
we barely ever see it. And when we do
once in a while I'm having a hard time
picking up on the scale they're putting
down. Sometimes he fits in a small
little flashlights amount of radius and
at other times he's like smashing along
the tops of trees uh like he's one of
those giants from [ __ ] Lord of the
Rings or the Hobbit or even um Harry
Potter. I suppose we can do a rundown of
the characters we're going to be walking
through in this thing. We have our our
main final girl energy. Her name is
Megan played by Lindsay Fanaeka. I'm not
familiar with this actress. Maybe I am
and I'm just blanking off camera. I had
one of the other interns, Tyrone, look
up what she's been in. And um Yep. Okay.
Also, a blank piece of paper. Uh you
listen, Tyrone, why don't you get your
white ass out of here? All right. If
you're not going to do the work, don't
pretend to. All right. It's just lazy.
Trish, you can go, too. She's in the
kickass movies. I think she's The
Girlfriend. That's That's really as much
as I can remember. I will say she's very
strong in this. I liked her a lot. She
looks good. She sounds good. She
delivers her lines well. and she has a a
very sad backstory that I'm not going to
get into. I will just say much like the
other much honestly worse movie that I
saw tonight. So, this was the better of
the two. Runner with Alan Richson and
Owen Wilson. Man, that was awful. This
film's also tonally kind of all over.
The opening scene sets the stage for a
very brutal movie that just never shows
up. I I mean it's kind of I I I wouldn't
say mean-spirited, but it's it's like
tough to watch. It's just a traumatizing
thing that happens to our lead
character. And man, you feel it. It's
it's hard-hitting and you're really on
this journey with her. So, I do think
her character is really wellcraftrafted.
Unfortunately, it doesn't go in a very
interesting direction and the ending is
just like headscratchingly bad. I mean,
I I'm not even going to beat around the
the dick when it comes to the ending. I
I called up a buddy and I who also
watched. I said, "What did you what did
you think of that ending? What the hell
was that?" And he was in the same boat.
I'll leave it at a a secret friend. I
won't say who. For the rest of the cast,
we kind of have your standard horror
trope characters, and they all do a
pretty good job. We have Ricky, who's
the wild card, who's on this pilgrimage
with the rest of the church group for
nefarious purposes because the plot is
going to revolve around uh a bunch of
different walks of life getting together
on a bus being driven across the country
by Rob Wiggle where they're going to go
into the woods and chaos is going to
ensue. This is a church group of the
least convincing church groupy people
I've ever seen. They're swearing.
They're doing drugs. They're walking
around shirtless or in a bra. What? That
that part was fine. But it's not
convincing as a church group. Either
that or I grew up in the wrong church.
Tom Cavend. If I pronounced that last
name wrong, I apologize to whoever
cares. Uh JD's brother in Scrubs. He's
also in Flash, but I didn't watch that
crap. That was on CW. That stuff's kitty
[ __ ] I don't know why it was so hot
there. He plays a pastor here who's
who's leading this whole congregation
out into the woods to die. Uh, and I
mentioned you have Rob Wiggle who's
who's driving the bus. He's being Rob
Wle. He's not really doing anything
that's going to wow you, but he's always
entertaining just with his presence. Oh,
James Murray Myrr is in this as well,
just as a small cameo very early on. I
don't know why he cast himself as a
lovable Carney. Those people don't exist
based on a track record I have with
carnese. All right? They they're always
just incredibly offkilter. They seem
like they're going to snap at any waking
moment. Even if you win a prize, you're
not you're a little hesitant to take the
prize from them. Mr. out here like,
"Step right up, fella. Let's see if you
can win the prize. Hello my baby. Hello
my honey. Hello my rag time gal. I want
to go to that fair. I want to go to that
carnival. So on their little church
retreat, you know, chaos is going to
ensue. A spider is going to start
picking them off one by one as one does.
Uh, as far as, you know, like plot holes
and issues I have with people doing
stupid things. There isn't a ton of
that. I wasn't really bothered by
choices characters made except for one.
There is a very dumb scene where uh one
of the characters goes missing pretty
well I say early on. It's like [ __ ]
50 minutes into this movie by the time
we get to any sort of action. But once
it happens, you would think these people
would work together and you know stay in
a line and and form a group as a search
party so that more people don't go
missing. But then the a family with a
son decide that they're going to just go
play hideand go seek right after a
person is found TO BE DEAD. WHAT? I
can't imagine it's that way in the book.
But again, I'm illiterate, so there's no
way of knowing. As for the kills, I'll
let you know when I find one. They're
all off camera. Every single kill
basically is off camera. People just get
pulled away. Maybe some blood champagnes
down from the ceiling. That's about it.
There there's a little bit of, you know,
eating at the body, but it's like in a
distance. It's in the background. It's
blurred. You don't really see it well.
From a directing standpoint,
a little teeter tottery, little
herkyjerky. Seemed like there was an A
team and a B team doing the pickups or,
you know, re-shoots or whatever because
some of it looks really good. Some of
it's done, you know, very by the book.
There's nothing super creative anywhere
in this film. But then there are shots
that are just bad and they they jump
back and forth sometimes very quickly.
Here's an example. I like to give
examples and not just say things.
There's a point in the movie,
hilariously, right after a couple people
die, where our lead protagonist and one
of the other characters just decide to
have a chat right next to the dead body
location with the looming threat right
by them somewhere. So, they just sit on
the rocks and just have a talk. And
first off, the framing is really poor in
the shot I'm looking at where there's a
there's a tree in the foreground and
they're just kind of sitting there. the
empty space does not pull you into
what's happening. It's just kind of a
badly framed shot. And we go back to it
a couple times. And then when we switch
to a scene right after the night looks a
little different, the focus of the
camera, the lens, the the way it's shot
looks much better. So, it seems like
they had a couple different rigs or they
had a different pickup on a different
day because it's night and day between
the quality of the shots. Another thing
that makes me think the director was was
maybe, you know, first time amateur, not
not really sure his way around the sets
and whatnot, or, you know, he's learning
on the fly, which is fair. Uh, thank
you, Tyler. Um, this is just your penis.
Like, you took a photo of YOUR PENIS.
LIKE, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. WHY DO I
HAVE ALL you interns in my house? Mlan
Nelson is the name. First off, cool ass
name. Secondly, probably a first-time
director, and that's fine. It's
serviceable in that department. there
there's just some things that definitely
can be improved. Uh, one of the major
issues I had which was really jarring
and I have no idea how someone didn't
mention it or or spot it during like the
watch alongs, but there is a point where
they're going to do the, you know, the
needle drop suit up moment, have a
little montage. The music kicks in way
too early. It fades up really harshly
during dialogue and I was so taken aback
I actually looked around in the theater
because I thought someone's phone went
off but it did not. It was the song
queuing up in the film. That's just like
such a simple mistake that you would
think someone would go uh could we maybe
not fade the song up right now or maybe
go a little bit gentler with it into the
montage instead of steamrolling
whatever's going on. Now, I know it
sounds like I'm being harsh on this one.
It's because I'm harsh on this movie. I
I I didn't didn't love it. Didn't really
I wouldn't say I liked it. I would say
it was it's passable, but not something
I would recommend people run out and
watch. It's something you could watch on
streaming and you would be okay. I I
don't even know. I It's tough. You know,
I got I got Mr. in my corner, right? But
also, I'm I'm here to do a job. And uh
it's a job I've bestowed upon myself,
and I need to be honest. And honestly,
yeah, I I didn't I didn't feel this one
at all. It did nothing for me. Uh
creatively, nothing I haven't seen a
million times. I was really let down by
the lack of giant monster that I was
promised. And the one thing it has going
for it is that the vibrations of its
webs and the sounds that people make are
how it hears and really strikes them.
But this is barely used. It's only
touched on in the final moments of the
movie and it's such a missed
opportunity. So yeah, for all of these
reasons, it's just kind of a miss and
that's too bad. But you know what? I I
have his book and so maybe I'll I'll
crack this open. And uh I have some of
his other books and I'm sure they'll be
turned into movies, too. Hopefully they
are. I mean, it's cool that new movies
are being made all the time by
independent studios and artists. We've
had a boom of this over the years. You
guys know that if you've been following
me for a while, I would love to make my
own film. I've recently dabbled in
writing some scripts. I've dabbled in
some short stories. I hope to have a
bigger announcement soon in that
department. Patience is a virtue, I'm
told. So, I'm trying to stay quiet on
all of that. But, uh, I want to hear
from you. Let me know if you saw this
movie in the theaters or if you're going
to wait for streaming now because I was
so, you know, so sad and disappointed.
Let me know your thoughts. Please sub to
the show Adam does Movies on YouTube,
Spotify, Apple Podcast. I aim to give
you my most true, honest, gripping,
hardcore takes on films humanly
imaginable. No, I just talk about movies
with you in a way that I talk with my
buddies about. I don't like to soften
the edges. It is what it is. If you're
into spider movies, some of my personal
favorites and recommendations are
Arachnophobia. I freaking love that
movie. It still holds up really well
today. Uh, one from a couple years ago
was Sting that was, you know, takes
place in a small apartment complex and
the spider keeps getting larger and
taking out the different inhabitants of
said apartment. That one was really
cool. And I guess if you're looking for
something really stupid and and over the
top, you could check out Eightlegged
Freaks. I don't honestly remember the
movie. I just know it's really stupid.
Let me know your thoughts, though.
Please like the video, sub if you
haven't, and hopefully I see you for the
next one. All right, that's all I got.
Take care.
>> My What are you doing?
>> I
I'm sorry. It looks like I'm sticking
with my day job,
>> buddy. You don't have to apologize.
Don't worry about offending me. I
appreciate you saw the movie. We're
friends. It doesn't matter. Uh, who
cares? It's just a movie, man. I
appreciate you go see it yesterday.
That's all that matters. We're gonna be
friends the rest of our lives. I promise
you. And I can't wait to come back on
the broadcast and defend some of our
decisions if you'll have me. Uh there's
some good answers to your questions. You
point out some good things, but there
are good answers. Oh, by the way, I I
will put in a good word with Hunter King
for you.
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