Don't Date Monkeys // Pastor Vlad

Today I want to share with you a message that will be probably more unique than uh usual and um and maybe some of you may feel like man it needs to be given on a youth service more than Sunday morning but one of our unique characteristics is raising the next generation and we do that not only by having family services. We do that not only by having transition services which will happen this week where where the um kids that are graduating the kids ministry and moving into youth ministry will be doing that. We are doing that by raising uh youth through the youth cruise, our youth internship, summer camps and so many great things. But today also I have it in my heart. Been carrying this for some time and I do preach this message everywhere I go on youth conferences and and I felt that the Lord wanted me to release this also to our church. What I want to speak today concerning the teenage years. I also have it in my heart to preach to the people that are retired. The Lord's been building this message. So I have six more months for it to cook right here. Um I don't know if it's the 40 or it's the gray hair that is I'm kind of thinking about that season is. So uh one of these days I'm going to release that. But today if you have your Bible would you go with me to Psalm chapter 90 and verse 10. All the notes are on Uver Bible app. And the verse goes like this. The days of our lives are 70 years. And if by reason of strength they are 80 years, yet their boast is only labor and sorrow, for it is soon cut off and we fly away. Probably not the most inspirational verse in the Bible. Very realistic. The days of our lives are 70. So if you want to know how long you're going to live, you have the answer. 70. If you eat your broccololis and you take 10,000 steps every day and you listen to your mom and your dad, you might get to 80 and then you'll maybe get to 90. But a lot of people I met after 90, they want to go home because different body parts start to stop working. You uh don't look as great as you used to. You don't feel as great as you used to. We get older and that's okay. Why am I sharing this verse with you? The days of our lives are 70. Can I ask you a question? How many years are you as a teenager? Let's do the math. You probably never thought of that. 12 is not a teenager. A teenager is when you have a teen attached to your age. 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19. Okay, 20 don't work because that's 19. How many years is that? >> So how many years are we told in the Bible we will live? >> How many years we are as a teenagers? >> Okay. How much is seven out of 70? >> Chat GPT anybody? >> Huh? >> So what's the percentage? It's 10%. So what if the teenage years are your tithe of your life to God? H what if the teenage years starts at 13? It's when you get the call in your body called hormones. The call comes up and says run from your home. You start detaching from your family. Family vacations are boring. You want to be with your friends because the call comes. It's when puberty hits. The call comes. You start searching for yourself. Start searching for your home. Your new home. the home that raised you up for 13 years. Now you start disconnecting from it and you start searching eventually to get your own home. And these seven years from 13 to 19 are the most formative years of your life. It's where majority of people have their first encounter with God. It's where majority of people have their first encounter with porn. It's where majority of people have their first encounter with cigarettes, alcohol or even abuse. It's where majority of people begin to decide what school they go to, who they want to be. A lot of formation begins to happen from 13 to 19. And I want to submit to you as a pastor and as the preacher of God's word, what if the seven years of those years are not just to choose your career, find your girlfriend, and get married, get your high school diploma, but what if those years are your tithe to God? Now, why am I saying they are your tithe to God? Because a teenager cannot tithe anything else. It was supposed to be funny. Thank you. When you grow older, you become a young adult, you start tithing finances. But from 13 to 19, you tithe your life. This doesn't mean that the rest of your life it belongs to you. The same way when we tithe does not mean that 90% we can do whatever we want with it. We take care of our family. But the principle of the tithe means as I set this apart to God, God blesses the rest. >> Amen. >> So the title of my message will be today, your teenage years are your tithe to God. Now you may be here today, you say, I'm not a teenager. This doesn't apply to me. The problem is most of you didn't live in your teenage years for God. So you have some catchup to do. So, we're going to go on a fast track today. The things that teenagers and a lot of you came after some of you after the first service, they're like, "Man, where were you 40 years ago in my mother's womb? Why did you preach this message when I was a teenager?" I said, "I don't know. I wasn't there." But today, we get a chance to hear the word of God. And I believe the word of God is going to frame our thinking for our generation and for the generation yet to come. Amen. We're going to go back to the beginning, book of Genesis. If you have your Bible, would you go to Genesis chapter 1 and we're going to camp there. Genesis chapter 1 verse 9. I'm going to first deal with identity. The second thing is I'm going to deal with busy schedule. And the third thing is I'm going to deal with dating. So, we're going to talk about teenage formation today. It's going to apply to everybody, but specifically I feel the Lord to have a special service today where I we talk to youth as the youth is very soon going to be going back to school and we're going to pray for them as well. Genesis chapter 1 uh in verse 11, God said to the earth, "Let the earth produce grass." If we go to verse 20, we see God speaks to the waters and said, "Let the waters abound with living creatures." Then we go to verse 26, keep up with me. Then God says to himself, "Let us make man in our image and in our likeness." So watch this. In verse 11, God speaks to the ground and says, "Let ground make uh trees." Because the trees came from the ground. The trees need the ground to live. Without the ground, they die. Then God speaks to the water and says, "Let let the water produce fish." Then verse 26, then God speaks to himself and says, "Man, you and I, humanity comes from God." So because we come from God, we need God to live. Without God, we >> He died. God clearly says if we eat of the tree, we will die. We disconnect from God. It's almost like God set a pattern and he started with the trees and said the way trees depend on the ground and the way fish depend on the water is the way man will depend on me and without me he will die. See the water is still water without fish. The soil is still soil without the trees and God is still God without us. But we need God the same fish needs water and the trees need soil. I'm laying all of this as a foundation. And if you're taking this notes, write this down. Is that our identity comes from God, not our body. In our teenage years, we are in the pursuit of identity. Insecurity rises really high. A lot of our bodies change in our teenage years. These are the formative years. And some of you, you can kind of go back in your mind where trying to find yourself. Trying to be somebody just to draw identity is very crucial. For some people, they still have their identity based on other things than God. Even in their adult years, except today, instead of competing in sports, they're competing in their work. They're trying to still draw their identity from their physical body. And the teenage years is where things are really they take a foundational root in our life that our identity is built on God. Your identity as a Christian comes from the image of God that you were made of because you came from God. Your identity comes from God. Because you came from God. Who you are comes from God. At one time there was a little uh little girl and she came to her mom and said, "Mom, where do we come from?" from. The mom says, "We came from God." She said, "Okay." She goes to her dad. She said, "Dad, where did we come from?" Dad says, "We came from monkeys." So she was confused. She came back to her mom and she said, "Mom, I'm confused. You told me we came from God. Daddy told us we came from monkeys. I'm I'm confused. So where did we come from?" And mama says, "That's very simple. Daddy told you where his family came from. I simply told you where my family came from." when you're young and you go to school and what is presented as science which is a lot of it is really belief and we saw with what uh Anthony Fouchi did in front of the Senate hearing pleading 111 times you know the fifth even though he had a thousand interviews explaining everything about CO and now he's pleading the fifth so we see that science trust the science science has all the solutions has its also flaws and a lot of times when you go to school and you're being told all you are is a you came from this generation of of monkeys and all you are is just a glorified animal that started with a big blast and that's all you are. My friend, when you tell a generation all you are is a glorified monkey, we shouldn't be surprised if they behave as such >> monkeys. That's why in schools today, we don't teach abstinence. We hand out condoms >> because animals are ruled by their sexuality. Animals are ruled by their biology. Animals are ruled by their urges. We as human beings, we are not glorified animals. We came from God. We are made in the image and likeness of God. What does that means? That means that our identity comes from God. Which means that our sexuality and our body can be made into subject to our convictions, not the other way around. >> Why is it important to know where you came from? Because if you don't know that the Bible is true, that we are made in the image of God, the world will sell you some kind of a cheap dirty version of who you are. And that is not who you are. You are not a glorified monkey. You are a child of the most high God. >> [applause] >> When I was younger, as a teenager, I wrestled with two extremes. In one extreme, I wanted to have a good self-image called good self-esteem. And then the other extreme is I wrestled with the bad self-esteem. I struggled with the bad self-esteem because, well, as you can kind of see, my face did not necessarily was like a poster boy face. I did not have a good appearance. I didn't like the way I looked. On the top of that, I was in a new country. I came to United States at 13, December 6, 1999. I didn't have a lot of friends. At the same time, I went to Hanford High School and I struggled to connect with people. On top of that, my uncle starts a church and in this church, it was very different than the way I grew up. I grew up in a lot more conservative church. So, this church, you know, the on my uncle's church, this one, they raised hands and all of this stuff. And so, here I am. I'm struggling with bad self-image and I am on this side and I'm praying to God so I can have a good self-image meaning so that I can feel good about myself. So I started to learn English. I started to try to get friends. In school I didn't fit in. So I I'm like you know what the church is going to accept me. The church is a safe place. The church like the church is where all the like like people with bad self image have a place. And then in our tiny little church of seven, eight people, I get kicked out of like the most powerful ministry, which was a worship team. So here I am, my bad self-image, take another another hit, and then I'm really my desire is to go from a bad self-image to a good self-image. But what I realized, what I really wanted is this is I wanted to build my self-image on my appearance, on my accomplishments, on my gifts, on my connections, on what people thought of me. And now I'm not the lucky type. I hope one day to be lucky one and have this good self-image where I am liked, where I am accepted, where I am appreciated. But in reality, the foundation of good self-image is as wicked and bad as the foundation of the bad self-image. And at the young age, the Lord started to deal with me and he said, "Lad, your problem is still your image. I want you to have right self-image that comes from my image. Not from your appearance, not from your oculates, not from your athletic abilities, from my self-image. And I remember 13 years of age, struggling to fit in, struggling to discover who I am. My body is against me. That's what I felt like. What I saw in the mirror was against me. This verses from book of Genesis really helped me to grow and find who I am. Why is that important if you're a young adult? Because if you don't figure this out in your teenage years, you're going to have to deal with that as a 40year-old, as a 50-year-old, even as a 60-year-old. Your self-image, who you are, cannot be based on things that health, wealth, connections can take or give. One day you will not have health anymore. One day you will not have relationships anymore. One day you won't walk to church anymore. They'll bring you on a casket and they lay your body in this casket right here. Your identity cannot be attached to things that death can take. Your identity cannot be attached to things the bad economy can take. Your identity has to be tied to something no one could ever take because they didn't give it to you. Only God did. So right there [applause] at this young age from 13, 14 and 15, the Lord started to teach me through a very painful discovery because my world was taken like really shooken and the Lord started to teach me this. He says, "Lad, Adam felt naked and ashamed when he ate of the wrong tree in the garden. If I eat from the wrong tree, if I find identity from the wrong things, I will walk being aware of myself, naked of myself, ashamed of myself, not be conscious of the presence of God. At that time, the biggest thing I've wrestled with was this. Every person I met, they would ask me, "What is wrong with my eyes?" It was really discouraging because sometimes they didn't even ask me my name and they would just say what happened to you and I said what do you mean like you know that that thing I was like what thing your eyes and it reminded me all they saw is something was wrong with me which I was already seeing that every day and they reminded me I was ugly not good-looking I don't fit in. And I said, "Lord, I'm already living with that. I'm walking in the room and I'm feeling like everybody's noticing and everybody judging me." And you know what they did? Everybody noticed me and everybody judged me. Which only confirmed me the world is wicked. People are mean. But what if the problem wasn't with people? What if the problem was not even with my body? What if the problem was with my identity? I was building it on what you see and what I saw in the mirror. I was eating of the tree of my physical appearance. The Lord convicted me and he said, "Vlad, it's a form of idolatry to build your identity on the external things." And I said, "Well, God, I don't have anything else. You have me." When God became real, his word became my food. What I see in this mirror started to define me. As a teenager, it's hard. I said, I am who God says I am. I am loved not because I preach. I'm loved not because I compete in school. I'm loved not because I like myself. I'm loved because Jesus died for me. Guess what started to happen? I lost awareness of myself. It doesn't didn't mean that I hate myself. I'm just not obsessed with myself. I stopped looking in the mirror in the bathroom to find my identity. I only look in the mirror to correct my hair. My identity comes from this mirror. >> I would go in the presence of God and God never said I'm ugly. He also never said I'm cute. See, I thought God will give me good self-image because people gave me bad one. God never gave me good self-image. He gave me his image to look at. And the more I looked at him, the less I saw me. And the less I saw me, more free I was of me. >> Let say that again. The more I saw him, the less I saw me. The less I saw me, the more free of me I became. And the more free of me I became, the more comfortable in me I became. >> We're in the same body that I did not like before, I became comfortable in that body. And no, I don't walk around as some diva thinking I'm this and that. No, I know I'm not. BUT I'M ALSO OKAY WITH THAT. >> And you know what the next thing that happened? People noticed it. I DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY, HEY EVERYBODY, MY IDENTITY COMES FROM GOD. I DIDN'T DO THAT. Something about the way I carried myself made people stop asking the question, what happened to your eyes? Can't don't know how it happened. I just know one thing. I went for years without nobody coming up to me and saying, "What happened to your eyes?" They would simply come up and say, "What is your name? Why? Because I lost awareness and obsession with me. I didn't get good self-image. I didn't get rid of bad self-image. I have a right image because I'm looking at his image. I lose myself. And there I find myself. And now the blessings that the Lord has graciously given to me, my beautiful wife, beautiful son, a ministry, a fruit. [clears throat] These things are fruits of that identity. They're not the root of the identity. The root of the identity is I came from an image. I'm being changed by the spirit into an image. No, no, no. I don't worship my image. I worship his image that I am made in likeness of. And one day they came to Jesus and they said, "Jesus, should we pay taxes?" And Jesus says, "Well, would you give me the coin?" They give him the coin. And he says, "Whose face is on this coin?" And they said, "Whose image is on this coin?" They say, "Caesa's." He says, "Give to whom this image is on this person, that thing to that person." See, when I look at the coin, I see the image of Caesar. But when I look at you, I see the image of God. WHICH MEANS IF I HAVE TO GIVE THE COIN BACK TO THE GOVERNMENT, YOU HAVE TO GIVE YOUR LIFE BACK TO GOD. BECAUSE GOD'S IMAGE IS ON YOUR LIFE. GOD'S IMAGE IS ON YOUR BODY. GOD'S IMAGE IS ON YOUR SOUL. YOUR BODY, YOUR LIFE belongs back to God. And no, THIS IS NOT JUST FOR TEENAGERS. This is for young adults as well. Because you can graduate from the teenage years, but if you DON'T FIND YOUR IDENTITY IN GOD, life when you hit 25, storms and winds come and shake your foundations and you find yourself fishing for identity in all wrong places. I cannot tell you how many people go into ministry not to serve God, but to find their self-esteem. They use this. They use this not to serve but to find their image. It's a dangerous place to be because this is not for my self-esteem. This is to be used to serve. But if I didn't find my self-esteem in God, I'm going to use ministry. I'm going to use people to build my self-esteem. And that's a dangerous dangerous path. So if you're a teenager, your biggest challenge will be the first is to draw your identity from the image you've been made into, not from anything else. If all your prayer life, if all your Bible reading doesn't lead you to draw your identity from God, you're not praying deep enough. You're not reading deep enough. Keep reading. Keep praying because the point is not to have a great prayer life. The point is to have a great foundation because of your prayer life. And your foundation is the presence of God and the word of God. So when some goofy weirdo guy comes in and simply says, "You're ugly." He said, "Talk to the hand because my head doesn't hear you. Why? I already know who I am. You can't tell me who I'm not. >> You're too late to the party. I I'm not coming to hear from you on what who made me. You didn't make me. You can't break me." >> When some coach comes in and begins to say, "You're this. You will never amount to anything. You can't shake me like that. Why? Because my house is built on the rock. YOU ARE NOT THAT ROCK. I'M not building my house on your opinion. I'M BUILDING MY HOUSE ON his word. If one day you lose the use of your eyes and you're blind. If one DAY YOU LOSE THE USE of your hands and you're lamed. IF ONE DAY YOU USE YOU LOSE THE USE OF YOUR BRAIN AND YOU become mentally You know that your identity, you're still loved. You know that you're still valued in the eyes of God. EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT USEFUL to the generation, you're made in the image of God. God's image is not just the eyes. God's image is not just the body. It's your spirit. It's your soul. That's why the way we treat the handicapped people, the way we treat people that maybe don't have it all together in their physical bodies, we must understand one day we will be those laying in the ground. You are not your body. You are a spirit that lives in the body. Don't draw your identity from your body. Draw your identity from who you came from. >> Amen. This applies to teenagers. This applies to young adults. This applies to everyone. Let's go to point number two. But before we do that, let's read the verse. Genesis 2:15, then the Lord God took the man, put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. Number two, stay busy tending your garden. If I could summarize teenage years to the most important three things, I would say do whatever you can to draw your identity from God, not anything else. Because when you draw your identity from God, praying is easy. Reading the Bible is easy. Why? Because that's your source. It's not just a discipline. It's your source. It's who you are. >> But the second thing is when you draw your identity from God, you have to keep your schedule busy for God and for the community. What does this mean? God puts Adam in the garden to be a gardener. Now, God gives him rules and says, "Don't eat of this tree." But the point of being in the garden wasn't to keep the rules, though there were rules. The point of being in the garden was to be a gardener, meaning to stay busy. I've noticed mistake I've made before is I would come to a teenager and I would tell a teenager to be balanced or to um don't be busy because I'm judging based on my season the season I'm in I'm 40 I'm a father of one and a husband of one and one is enough not the child one I think Morin but one wife plenty enough I don't know how Solomon people who believe in multiple wives I say don't you know the Bible says you cannot serve two masters only one master at a time, aka wife. And so, a husband, a wife, uh a father of one, ministry, all of this stuff. And so, in my life where I'm at, and if you're a young adult, you're probably learning this thing called balance. You're learning this thing called boundaries. You're learning this thing called rhythm, right? And you're learning this thing called don't be busy, be present. So we take these lessons which are valuable for a 35 year old, 45 year old, 55 year old and we stick this to a 15-year-old. You're like be balanced. No, they don't need to be balanced. They need to be busy. Why? Because they ain't got anything else going on. They ain't got a mortgage. They don't have two jobs. Even if they do have a Chick-fil-A job or if they have a Taco Bell job or if they have some kind of a part-time job in the mall, that's good. And they're going to school, that's good. They still have about three, four hours. And those the more free time a teenager has, the more open doors the demons do. >> For a teenager, free time is an open door. That's why I am not saying unintentionally load them up. I am saying keep them active. Listen to me teenagers. You wake up every morning with energy in your body supply to you. You don't need Red Bull. YOU DON'T NEED CAFFEINE. YOUR BODY PRODUCES ENOUGH ENERGY during the night that you're like [screaming] every day like that. Now, when you get to college age and you try to finish your masters, YEAH, YOU START CAFFEINATING. You start putting Red Bull so you can survive. I'm not advocating for Red Bull or caffeine. What I'm saying is that you get to that season like, man, I want to sleep. When you're young, you don't want to sleep. You want to go go. And so what the young adults would come and says, slow down. No, don't slow down. In fact, if you're a teenager, I bet you to read 50 chapters a day. I dare you to read to to run two miles a day. >> I DARE YOU WAKE UP EARLY, stay up late. Let's go. MAKE IT HAPPEN. YOUR BODY HAS ENOUGH power and energy and your schedule should be full staying busy tending to your garden. Cuz when you hit 20, things change. You get a wife, things change. She'll take half of your time. And you GET CHILDREN, WHATEVER TIME YOU THINK YOU HAVE LEFT, LIKE A VACUUM. Those kids will suck it out. All of it. AND THEN YOUR DREAM LIFE WILL look like just 15 minutes of rest without anybody. Where you want to go ON THE VACATION IN MY BED. The teenagers don't have that problem. I believe God wants teenage years to be so full of God's activity. And I'm not talking about you winning Call of Duty, not against video games, but if you spend your teenage years on video games, you want to win in life, you want to read books, pick up a topic, pick up a language. I remember I wish in my teenage years, I would have finished my education. I wish in my last two years of high school, I would have gotten my AA. I wish by the time I was 21, I would have finished my bachelor's. I was so busy at church, but I still had time. I don't know why nobody pushed me. I wish when my son is going to be growing up, that's going to be my challenge for him. I'm going to I'm going to put all of my weaknesses on him for him to be successful in. And somebody say, "That's not fair." I'm his parent, not you. David put his dreams that he didn't fulfill on his son Solomon and Solomon build a temple. I'm going to do exactly the same. I said, "Son, I didn't finish school until I was 40." And so, you're going to finish it before you're 20. Otherwise, you're not getting a car. But the second thing I wish I would have learned is musical instrument. Now, I you already know I am tonedeaf. Meaning, an elephant stepped on my ear, I can't sing. But it doesn't mean I can't do this. >> I should have learned it. My uncle, my pastor was so persistent to teach me musical instrument. I remember I even tried piano. I tried I know we wish you a merry Christmas. That just that one part on the piano. I tried uh that instrument. How do you how do you call it? >> Arcodian. Yeah, I tried that one and then I tried guitar, but I wish I would have stuck with it. Now, most likely I wouldn't do anything with it except sing a romantic song to my wife in the evening on a date night, but still would have been nice. Stay busy, not empty. That's why teenagers should be involved in everything in church. more than one ministry. They should be serving all the time. And parents, don't hold them back. Release them. Let them serve. This is the only time in their life this will happen. Once they start going to college, once they start getting married, everything begins to change. They cannot run at this pace that they're running right now. Amen. And the third thing, and this is relationships. Let's read few verses. Genesis 2:20. So Adam gave names to all the cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper compatible to him. In verse 21, and the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept. He took one of his rips and closed up the flesh in its place. And then I'm going to jump quickly to Song of Solomon 2:7, but it actually references few times in Song of Solomon. Do not stir up love, nor awaken love until it pleases. And then if you flick back, flip back to Genesis 2:24 and 25. And I'm going to finish that in just a moment. So let's look at this. Adam has a job. Adam knows his master. We like to say like this. Adam knew his master. Adam knew his mission. And then Adam met his mate. So his master, he knew his identity. It he came from God. His body came from the ground. He came from God. Adam had a mission. Adam had an assignment. He was naming animals. And so it no no money no honey job first you have to get a job you have to work you have to serve you have to even if it's not your dream job you know Adam's job wasn't necessarily he wasn't a CEO he was a landscaping like that maybe was not glamorous it wasn't like oh my goodness like that wouldn't give you viral videos even though I've been seeing landscaping guys becoming very viral so it wasn't glamorous it wasn't the point of being glamorous it was about being active And Adam was active with this. And Adam is naming the animals, taking care of the animals, taking care of the garden, is enjoying the presence of God. So it's about being active for God. And then there's one thing that we're we're touching. The third one is there's the mate situation. Now, we don't know how how old Adam was. I don't think he was a teenager. I think he was a little bit older, but let's just apply for a second. And maybe he was a teenager. And so God tells Adam, it's not good for you to be alone. I need to pause here. Every young adult, listen very carefully. Some people go to churches where they teach them that if you get so close to God and you hear this testimonies, man, I was just so close to God and then I like this girl and God says, no, I'm jealous, God. [laughter] I'm so sorry. And you feel like liking somebody is cheating on God. Some people present it like that. God comes to Adam and said, "Adam, like I like you. I love you. We hang out. You're working for me. This is good. You need somebody in your life." And Adam's like, "Are you trying to get rid of me?" And God said, "No, no, no, no. You need like another person in your life as well." Now, Adam had no persons. So, what Adam is doing on his next assignment, which is to name animals, Adam is naming animals. And the Bible says this that it was not found to Adam. It was not found. The word found indicates someone was looking. So after the last conversation where God tells Adam, you need a wife. Adam is naming the animals and in the back of his head he's looking for a spouse. Now his options were limited. Zebra comes four legs. Nah. Hyena comes ugly. Elephant way too big. Way too big. AND THERE SHE WAS, A MONKEY. And I think Adam is thinking, we can work with this. I'm pretty sure that we can pray some things out of this. I'm pretty sure God can work with this. Adam doesn't bring God a monkey to change. So, if you are a young person, not just a teenager, but a young adult, and you're entering into that season where you have your job and it's your time for relationships. Again, let me say this. It's your time for relationships. Be careful not to date a monkey. Point number three, who is a monkey? A monkey is somebody who is from a different kingdom than yours, >> but they look attractive. MONKEY IS SOMEONE YOU'RE HOPING FOR GOD TO CHANGE. Flirt to convert. MONKEY IS SOMEBODY YOU'RE SETTLING FOR because there's no good boys around. There's no good girls around. But man, she's so hot. So is hell. You don't want hell. [applause] Monkey is someone who says I will become a Christian when we get married. >> I WILL STOP TAKING DRUGS when we get married. But until then, oh, I love drugs. MONKEY IS SOMEBODY WHO WILL SAY, I WILL STOP CHEATING ON YOU THE MOMENT WE GET MARRIED. THAT MEANS IT'S SOMEBODY YOU KNOW that needs a lot of help. Like they need a rehab, not dating, but you're like, "Man, I am going to be your healer. I am Jehovah Rafa. My love will change you." No, it won't, honey. It won't. There's only one savior, and it's not you. There's one deliverer, and that's not you. And some people need a rehab, not romance. Some people need deliverance, not a date. This doesn't mean that you will meet the perfect one. Nobody needs perfect. But when somebody you already have 20 things for God to change them as you're dating them. Are you sure that's the person God sent or is this the person you found? Don't settle for a monkey. Wait for Eve. Wait for Adam. What does this mean? That means marry within your kingdom and marry on those God already changed been changing. Not marry so that one day. Yeah. When I marry them a prayer line every last Sunday of the month, I'm going to bring them. [laughter] What if God brings them to the prayer line first and delivers them and gives you a delivered person instead of you taking 10 years to try to deliver them? Now, if you're in that situation now, I'm not judging you. You were wrong. But God has mercy on you. We're just telling everybody else not to make the same mistake you did. God is able to change. God absolutely God is merciful and graceful. But it doesn't mean we have to make the mistakes that God clearly outlines in his word. So, young adults don't date monkeys. So, Adam couldn't find someone and he refused to bring God a monkey to change and make it look like Eve. Instead, God knocks him out. Okay, that's me reading into the text. I don't know if he what he did. He put him to sleep. The only way I've seen people be put to sleep is knocked out. So God puts him to sleep somehow and then while he's sleeping, God is working on Adam and working on his wife. So as a teenager, I want to present to you an idea. The next few moments that I'm going to share is not God's word. This is the wisdom of a pastor. You can take this with a grain of salt and if your parents contradict it, listen to your parents. Don't listen to me. Unless okay I won't say that unless listen to your parents but this is just the wisdom of a pastor that's all this is not there are times Paul says Jesus said sometimes says I say your teenage years 13 to 19 you should give those years to a sexual sleep. The Bible says in Song of Solomon do not awaken love until it pleases. That means just because love is real, it doesn't mean it needs to be awakened. There are seasons for love to be asleep. And what a beautiful example than Adam. Adam is looking, looking, looking, but he realizes, I can't find the right person. But sometimes it's just not the right time. And the Lord doesn't bring him a wife. The Lord brings him asleep. He puts him to sleep. And when you sleep, few things happen. Your eyes are closed. You're not moving. But you're not dead. You look like dead. Sexual sleep is this. It's not that you're like, I'm against love. I'm No, no, no. It's just It's not the season to be dating. And I'm not against it. It's not even that I don't have feelings. I do. You can even have attractions. You can even have infatuations. You can have attachments. But you're not acting on those things. Why? Because my teenage years are my tithe to God. And I do not want to waste them dating anything that moves. and then getting into marriage and find out that I I wasted all my years on this thing. I barely kept my purity or lost my purity where I could have dedicated my years to God. [snorts] This is what I've noticed being 14 years in youth ministry as a youth pastor. Teenagers, they get on fire for God. The devil right away gives them an attraction that becomes their distraction and they lose their fire for God. Nothing wrong with attractions. There's nothing wrong with feelings. They have their healthy place. But when you're young, your hormones are raging. And the culture uses these feelings as indicators of what you should do because they were told they're monkeys. They're acting like monkeys. They're letting their biology rule their spirituality. And so they don't care about their relationship with God. They don't care about their future. They care about the immediate pleasure and joy. They all mess up, cross the line. And you're allowing the culture to infiltrate that. And guess what happens is you're 14, 15, 16. You're entering into a dating pool. You're isolating yourself from other friends because you're obsessed with that one. You isolate yourself from your family. You start skipping school. You start ignoring spiritual activities. You end up losing your purity. Your heart will get broken because the chances of you marrying the person in high school that you're dating is two out of 100. The chance of this marriage succeeding in next 10 years is only 50%. So the stats are against you. Why would you want to take your tithe and spend it on Dr. Pepper? Give it to God. Pastoral advice, not scripture command. Your teenage years, go to sleep sexually. Stop looking for a spouse. Why? Your brain is also, respectfully, is not fully developed. It's still developing. Which means if you connect with somebody at 16 and you're like, this is the one. Did you know that that decision that you made, this is the one, didn't have all the brain chemicals in your head yet? You get to 21 and you're like absolutely not. Why? Because all the brain cells were not there yet. This is respectful. This is this is we're still developing. So to make permanent decisions based on evolving chemical misbalances that still are being formulated, it is not the wisest use of your years. But what do you do with these raging feelings? You submit them to God. You don't pretend they don't exist. You don't walk around and say, "I renounce feelings." They're good feelings. They're one day they're going to be the right feelings. It's the same way when I wake up at 2:00 in the morning, I know I got to keep going to sleep because I have to preach next morning. I don't see, well, my body woke up. I might AS WELL GO MAKE MYSELF A COFFEE. NO, I close the curtains. I don't touch my phone. And I try to go back to sleep. WHY? BECAUSE IF I DON'T SLEEP AT NIGHT, I will have no energy for you during the day. When during your teenage years, you don't sexually sleep. When your MARRIAGE YEARS COME, WHAT ENERGY will you give to your spouse if you wasted it in your teenage years dating anything that moved? Pastoral advice came to an end. Use it with discretion. Ask your parents for confirmation. And before you write me off as that's just a Ukrainian religious thing. That advice came from my parents who's still married after 40 years. >> It came from my grandma who turned 90 married to one man. And I'm not talking about marriage but everybody wishes they would have been first. I'm not talking about marriage but living like cats and dogs. Marriage that I want to imitate. So when they came into my life as a teenager and I liked somebody or my uncle and I went to him and I was like man pastor I really like this person. I was 17. The first time I knew that I'm not called to syllabacy at 16. I knew it. There was this girl I like so much. I thought this is it. And we had one prayer meeting together where we held hands and prayed for tricities. I felt electric shock go through my hands. The power of God was so real. I was like, "This is the one." The fire moves through her fingers. And I remember Elijah Waters, a youth pastor here in Tri Cities, meets with me at Applebee's. And he said, he said, "You're single?" I said, "Yes." And he said, "You're like one of the youth girls, huh?" I said, "No." And my face is turning red. He says, "Why is your face turning red?" I said, "Because it's cold." He says, "You're lying." And I say, "Yeah, I like her." He says, "Don't disciple her." I said, "But I'm the man of God." He says, "Don't do anything." He says, "In a way, in fact, DON'T DISCIPLE ANY GIRLS IN your church except your sisters." I said, "Perfect." Cuz I don't like my sisters. And so my aunt Lissa stepped in to disciple. And I remember letting the feeling go, "But this is my potential rib." That wasn't the rib. That was a devil's stick at that time poking me. I looked back at it and I said, "What a fool I was." But I was I was emotional fool. Then I was 17. Now this time I never told my uncle that I liked her. But at 17, I was like, "I'm a mature man. I got a license." So I came to my uncle and I said, "There's this girl I like in the youth group. I think at 18 I'm ready for marriage." And my uncle looked at me and he said, "Maybe you are, but that's the wrong person for you." I said, "How would you know, but I like her? She Christian. Is it not right for you?" I don't remember how broken I was. I trusted my uncle. He didn't control my life, but I was like, I want what I want his wisdom, but man, I don't want to listen. And so, I submitted that. I said, "Okay, I'll let it go. I'm not going to pursue that at 17." Because I wanted to get married at like 19. And you know what the worst pain? Finally, I let her go two weeks later and she was so helpful in the youth group and I see another guy who's younger than me takes her out on a date and she goes with him. I was contemplating how to take care of this guy like like remove him so he goes to be with God forever. I was contemplating. I never planned. I just contemplated. I said, "Lord, would you just take him to heaven? Keep him. I know we're not Catholics. Keep him in purgatory for seven years. How dare she does this? I'm recovering from this crush and he is just I've had that, but I'm so glad I didn't pursue it." Why? Because those things changed. And I want to challenge you as a young person. You're not going to miss out on anything. And the world will tell you if you don't if you don't date around. Listen, you can have the feelings, don't act on them. Why? It's your sleeping season. Keep your eyes closed. It's still the night. Don't wake up. I know your cultures jumping on Red Bull. But then they enter in their marriages and they have six, seven mamas from different countries. You don't want that. You want to do is you want to enter into marriage and be fully energized in your marriage. So your teenage years go to sleep. Don't chase that. Chase your destiny. Chase your calling. Chase your gift. Build those things up. Your time will come. 5:00 is going to hit. 6:00 is going to hit. Alarm is going to go off. And then there's going to be a right time. And love is going to wake up at the right time. And it's going to be beautiful at the right time. >> Now, whether you choose to obey my pastoral advice or not is between you, your parents, and your God. Our God hopefully. But one thing is certain that which is the Bible. This is not pastor's advice and this is the Bible is the last verse. Would you give us the last verse? The last verse is Genesis 25 2:25. They were both naked. And you read that on the second chapter of the book, you're like, I like this book. Especially when you're young. But then there's this part. The man and his girlfriend or his Snapchat friend. The man AND HIS ONLY fan star. The man and his fiance. Come on. What's the big deal? We're going to get married in just three months. What's the big deal? We already love each other. Plus, we said it before God. God was a witness when we were having sex. We already are one. What's the big deal? We will get married one day. The man and his, you know, kind of girlfriend, soon to be wife, maybe one day wife. They were naked. The man and his wife. This tells me that God from the beginning reserved your nakedness to be viewed, embraced, and celebrated by you and your spouse. Not you and subscription on only fans. Not you and the girlfriend. Not you and the fiance. Now, some of you are here. This is going to get really uncomfortable right now cuz you're actually living with your girlfriend and you came to church like, "Man, shoot. I didn't KNOW THAT'S WHAT THE GUY'S GOING TO TALK ABOUT." Just pretend, keep looking at me, pretend that this is not happening. You will have an awkward conversation after this church. Good luck. But I'm going to speak to the rest of you who haven't gotten to that. This is very important. In the beginning, being naked was reserved for a man and his wife. I want to reason with you because when I was young, 20 young girl, I remember 23, 24, I was engaged to my wife and so she moves to Tri Cities already. We rented an apartment. She lived there. And I'm not going to lie to you, I was a pastor already, but I was like, Lord, what difference does it make? We're going to get married on August 21. This is July 22. It's my birthday. Like, we already have the wedding. We already got THE RING. GOD, WE ALREADY GOT THE HONEYMOON PAID FOR. What difference will the date make if I see her nakedness or we have this stuff? Do the stuff. And I remember an illustration that helped me. I think it was C. Lewis that presented that. He said, imagine this. You have a flower bed in your yard and you have a soil in the flower bed. The soil in the flower bed is nourishing to the flowers. It's soil. You take the same very soil, your house, your yard, your soil. Take the same soil, not different one, not from the neighbor, your soil. You take the soil from the flower bed and bring it tonight to your dinner plate. Put it next to the salad, mashed potatoes, and chicken. Cover it with the with the salad. How would you enjoy your dinner with soil? How many of you know the moment soil leaves the flower bed and ends up in your dinner plate, it's no longer soil, it's dirt? How could SOMETHING BE SO NOURISHING IN ONE environment and be so staining, dirty, nasty in another if you're the same owner, the same house, just two different environments. Show us the verse again. I want you to see something. It says this. They were both naked, the man and his wife. Watch this. And were not What is this word? >> Ashame. Why is there guilt? Why is there shame that comes? You're like, "Oh, because I went to the religious church." No, no, no, no, no, no. It's because you took soil into your dinner plate. >> That's what happens. And God put it from the beginning. He told us, if you take the nakedness and you bring it into something that it's not supposed to be, now you're free moral agents. You can do whatever you want. But the Lord says there will be shame. And if you don't believe in believe in that that somehow it makes it dirty. Well, practice it with soil today. Just just start with soil first before you mess with your soul. Mess with your body. Put the soil on the on the dinner plate. Just see how it tastes. Not going to taste really good. But you put the same soil in the flower bed, it's going to be so beautiful. I am not here to condemn anybody. And if you've been living in sexual sin, my my thing is what Jesus told the woman caught in a sexual sin. I don't condemn you, but go and sin. No more. If you've been sleeping around and you've been living with your boyfriend and girlfriend, hey, one of you has to kind of come up and say, "Hey, let's do this right before God. You love me. Let's separate and we get married." And if you've been living together and you have kids and you're living like husband and wife, go to courtroom this week, sign papers, and live as husband and wife. >> We're not ready to be husband and wife. Really? After seven years and four kids, you're not ready to be husband and wife? You should have thought about that seven years ago. I'm not sure if I want to be in this relationship. Then a woman should kick you out today and you go to Tri City homeless shelter and get your head straight. You got three children. You're living already. What is this? You can't be thinking like this. You're not a teenager anymore. Put a ring on that on that lady's finger. Commit to those kids. Be the man. There's a time we don't need to live ashamed. We need to live with blessing of God because the nakedness of this other person belongs for a man and his wife. >> Come on. >> And if this makes you uncomfortable, IT'S IN THE BIBLE. >> You didn't come here to be tickled. You here came here to be convicted. You here came here to be encouraged. And you came here to be challenged. And you came to Hungry Jen to be changed. [applause] So I understand. I went for teenagers and I got the rest of you also. So I'm like, man, I thought it was for teenagers. Why is he talking to me? If the shoe fits, get in. Let's go. Teenage years are a tithe to God. We draw identity from God. We get busy in those years and then we This is kind of where things split. Pastoral advice, go into sleep because the time is going to come to wake up. If you're in a dating season, don't date monkeys. Meaning don't date people from other kingdom. If you are dating, the Bible gives us one rule and that is this that nakedness belongs in a marriage relationship. The same way soil belongs in a flower bed, not on dinner plate. It's not God hating you on your fun. It is God drawing the line and protecting the sacredness of this relationship from any other relationship you have in this world. And if you do that, I'm not saying you'll have a great marriage. What I am saying, you will be not ashamed and you will please God. And if you have blown it and you brought a lot of soil into your dinner plate, there's a way to out of it. You can honor God today. Make a decision. Do what's right today. Please God, talk with that person. Have that conversation. It's never too late to start honoring, repenting, and obeying God. All of us have to learn to do that. And maybe today is that