Does Having Muscles Get You More Attention From Women? | Chris Bumstead

Duration: 7:10 1620 transcript words EN summary

Video summary

Chris Bumstead addresses a common misconception regarding bodybuilding and female attention, revealing that his social media following consists of approximately 90% to 91% men rather than women. He notes that while many aspiring athletes train specifically to attract the opposite sex, this motivation often evolves into genuine passion for training itself; once an individual realizes they love the process regardless of external validation, their dedication becomes more authentic and sustainable. This shift from seeking attention to pursuing personal growth is a crucial distinction in maintaining long-term commitment to fitness without relying on fleeting social rewards. The sheer volume of unsolicited messages and interactions online has become overwhelming for Bumstead, leading him to stop reading direct messages entirely due to the prevalence of spam, memes, and low-effort content from strangers. He describes his Instagram DMs as a "cesspool" filled with irrelevant tags and groups where people message each other rather than engaging meaningfully with him or his friends. Consequently, he has adopted a strategy of muting all notifications during critical periods like contest prep to protect his mental state, acknowledging that while some feedback is appreciated for its support, the noise from those who do not know him personally holds little weight on his self-worth. Bumstead emphasizes that public perception and online negativity impact him far less than most people in similar positions because he values relationships with individuals who truly understand his character over accolades or achievements. He explains that compliments from strangers are welcomed as gratitude but do not define his reality, just as harsh criticism does not alter it unless there is an unhealed wound within himself triggering the reaction. To illustrate this point, he shares a personal anecdote about being teased in childhood regarding his voice and appearance, which caused him to feel embarrassed for years; however, he now views such incidents through the lens of healing that younger version of himself rather than harboring anger toward the perpetrators who simply do not care what they say. Ultimately, Bumstead concludes that focusing on external critics keeps one trapped in pain, whereas turning inward allows athletes and individuals to address their own vulnerabilities with compassion. By giving love and permission to his past self—the child who felt alone or teased—he transforms moments of embarrassment into opportunities for emotional growth rather than dwelling on the actions of others. This internal work ensures that he remains resilient against the pressures of fame and public scrutiny, maintaining a clear mind even when facing intense physical challenges like cutting down to 1500 calories per day while preparing for competition.

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what is the ratio of attention that you get from guys versus girls oh like 90 10. in favor of men of course literally and I think my Instagram statistics are like 91 men yeah anyone who thinks that this life is Gonna Get You girls what does it say that like the king of the Aesthetics bro era is just swimming in men yeah like there's just men everywhere and all of these guys that think I'm gonna go to the gym and I'm gonna if I get buffed then I'm gonna get loads of attention from girls which also there's there's a line of respect in that because let's say you start doing something for the attention of women and then in the end you don't get it but you realize how much you love it so you see keep doing it and your brothers are like that's dope and like you're not doing it so your Bros love you but you're doing it now because you actually love to do it rather than just getting a girl you know yeah so there's like a little bit more meaning in doing it for yourself and just because you love training come for the girls stay for the games exactly yeah yeah but it's dude it's just so funny like every person that I've spoken to that's in that's got a big platform that is built around the physique it's like it's a lot of men every time a lot of men out there that like are you getting requests for sock they said please send me your used socks please I used to but I don't I don't read my DMs anymore okay I don't really go through Calvin's job the poor guy I'm the only one logged into my stuff he sent me the stuff I post it okay but I just don't even dive into it there's too much [ __ ] in there there's gonna be it's a cesspool down there Chris there's all these like groups now and it's just like memes and tags and like there's not even like anyone actually saying anything what do you mean like people will start a group yep with like all their boys and then like lifting club and it will be you and your friends from high school and then there's stroker's mom said in there because it's funny maybe he'll see it one day and I have like hundreds of those and that's all I really and they're not even messaging me they're messaging each other and I'm just in the chat so I'll like I have like every couple months I'll let go and I'm like bored waiting someone I like looking I'm like nope there's just nothing in there yeah [ __ ] yeah what um talking about social media in the social media game something that you guys like pay attention to uh to continue to build how have you dealt with the increasing amount of notoriety and and pressure and eyes on you and stuff as somebody that's pretty heavily introverted and yeah once they're privacy you've had to make public relationship with Mrs business you know the most stressful times of your sporting career and stuff as well yeah how does that feel like have you struggled with that and how's it helped you to grow I think honestly unlike most in that position it's impacted me less than a lot of other [ __ ] my life has impacted me I think I was just raised purely for like valuing people who know who you are and who they like who you are as a man and how you like act in this world rather than what you accomplish and what you own and all these things and all these people don't know who I am so even from a young age I literally remember thinking like all these compliments I'm getting these people don't even know who I am these people don't even like they can say whatever they want about me but it's just this idea of me they're talking about not actually me so the compliments well I'm grateful for it and the support and it means a lot to me they don't know who I am it doesn't make me better or worse whatever they say so when negativity comes in and people say anything bad it's it's they're both wanted the same they're both just kind of like out there and it doesn't really mean anything you know if like my mom came up to me and like you're being a really [ __ ] shitty person I'd like what the [ __ ] like I would like my heart would think you know I would change my whole life but like if someone on the street comes up and be like you're this that I'd be like you don't even know me yeah like what but how do you you know that your mind isn't actually going to gravitate toward these meaner comments we have this negativity bias that we see yeah how have you trained yourself do you do you not look is there a strategy behind this for how you try and avoid the that seeping in I imagine if you're three weeks out from prep with everything in the toilet and you feel like crap and you've got 1500 calories to look forward to today half of which is from broccoli like the last thing that you want to see is someone saying something mean on the internet for sure yeah so why do you go to deal with that um I mean it's been there's a lot of things and it's been a tradition but now at this point when I'm in prep I mute everything all notifications are off I don't look at my comments I don't really look at anything and I would just rather that not seep into me kind of Baseline I can always bring myself back to like what I said understanding these people don't know me but I'm obviously still affected by certain things that hit me but again if something affects me it's because of something I have unhealed inside of myself it comes back to like where I'm where I'm still hurting not so much what other people are what they're thinking of me so like an example of something that hit me a few years ago but it was it wasn't online it was someone in person and they were just [ __ ] around me were bantering where guys were like you know we give each other [ __ ] and he said something like oh wow when you were a kid like girls must have been like you're just good looking tall jacked handsome guy come up to him and then you open your mouth and they hear you your voice in that lip and they're like what the [ __ ] and they're immediately they're like this [ __ ] this guy and they leave you alone and I remember like feeling like a kid again just getting washed over embarrassment and just like feeling like [ __ ] like 12 years 15 years old again and I was like wow like I'm just like I used to be teased a little bit for my list and I'm like that's still kind of in there a little bit but that's not because this guy's an [ __ ] that's because when I was a kid someone made me feel like [ __ ] about it and I never really like gave that kid like the love and permission myself being that kid the love and permission to like be okay with that and understanding that doesn't represent himself so I think just taking those moments and using them as an opportunity to go inside yourself and kind of like a give your like younger self a little bit of love and compassion who like didn't get it maybe when he was younger because he felt like alone be able to go back and try and heal those periods of your life rather than being angry at the other person because I mean that's really all that is to it because if you're given the power to the person then you're just focusing on them and you're going to continuously live in that pain it doesn't help you and they don't give a [ __ ] they're just throwing [ __ ] at you they don't care what they want you to react in other news this episode is brought to you by a product I've used every single day for over three years now and that is ag1 it's a foundational nutrition supplement that covers whole body Health helps with my digestion it helps with my energy it is the staple to my supplement regime and it's the same for Dr Andrew human Joe Rogan Lex Friedman Tim Ferriss all of them have been using it for a very long time and that's because they invest in the highest quality ingredients they've upgraded the recipe 52 times over the last decade as new researchers come in also there is a 90-day money-back guarantee so you can buy it and try it for 89 days and if you do not like it they will give you your money back if you're looking for a 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