Video summary
The video explores the concept that both men and women possess a blend of masculine and feminine energies within themselves, yet society often expects them to adhere strictly to traditional gender roles. A female speaker reflects on her own identity, noting that while she feels blessed as a woman, she sometimes identifies with a past male persona due to these internal dualities. She suggests that if she were a man, she would intentionally embrace and express her feminine energy more openly rather than hiding it or fearing vulnerability. This perspective highlights the idea that true strength for men comes from being in touch with their softer sides, challenging the notion that masculinity requires emotional detachment or hardness.
In contrast to this openness, male respondents interviewed in similar contexts tend to describe idealized versions of women who would compensate for perceived deficiencies they feel as men, such as providing permission to be whole or optimized helpers. Conversely, when asked about becoming a man, many women simply project their own current selves onto the role without acknowledging significant differences between genders. The speaker argues that this lack of understanding stems from an idealistic view held by men regarding women and a fundamental disconnect where women mistakenly assume they can transfer their female ideals directly into male behavior. This mismatch creates friction because people often expect others to act exactly like themselves, ignoring the unique biological and psychological distinctions between sexes.
The discussion further delves into how these misunderstandings lead to confusion in relationships due to unmet expectations regarding emotions and communication styles. Men are described as feeling detached from their own feelings while women seek deep emotional connection and compassion, creating a cycle of frustration where both sides feel misunderstood or performative. The speaker emphasizes that much of this conflict arises because individuals want partners who mirror themselves rather than accepting people for who they truly are. By dismissing the nuances behind male behaviors—whether righteous or less so—as mere flaws without understanding their utility or underlying reasons, society perpetuates a cycle of judgment and delusion where neither gender fully grasps the other's perspective.
Ultimately, the conclusion drawn is that men and women must stop trying to force one another into roles based on performative ideals and instead learn to accept each other as they are. The speaker urges viewers to look in the mirror and recognize that wanting someone who thinks, acts, and feels exactly like oneself ignores the essential differences between genders. True connection requires acknowledging these distinctions rather than expecting a partner to be a helpmate or echo chamber for one's own thoughts. By balancing internal energies and respecting the unique nature of each gender without imposing rigid expectations, individuals can move past the delusions that currently hinder genuine understanding and foster healthier relationships based on acceptance rather than performance.
Read the full video transcript
How how would the male version of you be
different than you?
>> I feel like I have masculine energy
[laughter]
like I'm a REAL LIKE I FEEL LIKE
I'M A REAL But I'm so blessed
that I'm a woman though. Like I'm so ble
like I love that I'm a woman, but I
really feel like I was a dude in my
past. Like because we both have like
masculine and feminine with inside of us
both. But as a man, I personally would
try to be tapped in with my feminine and
I would like have I would be on the side
of women. Like I would try to work with
women. I would try to be friends with
women. I would really want to be in that
feminine energy because I know the value
it brings as for a man, honestly.
>> Okay. So, I I want to repeat what you
said just to make sure that like we're
aligned. So the male version of you
would be feminine
>> because the female
>> Yeah. I would be in tap with my feminine
energy as a man. I wouldn't like try to
like hide it. I wouldn't be afraid to be
vulnerable. I wouldn't be afraid to like
be soft and gentle as a man because it
gives you it gives you strength as well.
Like that's why men want women is so
they can be more in touch with their
feminine energy. Honestly,
>> part of what I found when I asked that
question, cuz I've asked it to so many
women on camera, and I've also I did a
separate series called Listen to Black
Men, where I would interview men. And
even in the Kevin Samuel series, I would
have women interview men. And I found
that whenever a man was asked, "What
kind of woman would you be?" They tend
to talk about some of their deficiencies
as a man and how like as a woman they
would either have permission to or they
would they would be optimized for
helping the man like be whole, right?
And I found that whenever women said
what kind of men they would be, they
typically just described a man version
of themselves. Why Why do you think Why
do you think that is? I mean, because
all you have to all you have your
takeaway is yourself, honestly. But I
really feel like we have both of those
energies inside of us. We just have to
be able to balance it. Like I'm a very
logical woman. I'm not in my feelings a
lot. I I think things through. I don't
move off of emotions. So, people can
think masculine because I'm actually
have a brain boundaries.
You know what? So, I'm interested in
what was like a lot of So, women would
just What? So, dive deeper. What What do
you mean that that they were just saying
they were just
>> Yeah. They they they like I had some
women say like, "I'd be a hoe." I had
some women Yeah. Some women talked about
like they they wanted to know what it
was like to pee standing up. Like, it
went from like basic stuff to like how
they would act. Some women thought, like
one girl, she said, you know, I would I
would go to the mall and then I would
holl at women and I'd get a date for
breakfast, for brunch, for lunch, and
for dinner. But what it taught me
generally was I think men are kind of
idealistic when it comes to our
understanding of women. I think women on
average, no offense to y'all, but I
think you guys have no understanding of
men. I think I think a lot of times when
when women simply just transfer their
ideals as a woman and their thinking and
the way of viewing the world as a woman
onto a man frame and thinking that
that's going to be effective. They
they're they're very wrong. And part of
what I've been trying to do is try to
break down the nuances of a lot of the
things that men do and a lot of the ways
that we are from the righteous things to
the less than righteous things. There's
a reason for that. There's a utility
there. There's a righteousness behind it
that unless you are unless you are
intentional about understanding, it's
very easy to dismiss.
>> I agree. I really think that men don't
have I mean women don't have a clue who
men are. And a lot of women have such
expectations like they want they want
compassion. They want you their feelings
with them. They they want to talk about
emotions, but honestly, y'all are so
detached from y'all emotions. It's just
it's it's it's just it's a it's a
friction. And I don't understand like
that's what that's what is getting like
a lot of confusion for men and women.
Like because we are disconnecting. We
have these high expectations for one
another and we're all delusional. Like
just like men are delusional with women
and women are delusional with with men
because we have secret motives towards
one another. And we're honestly just we
want a person exactly like ourselves.
And I'll just be like, yo, look in the
mirror. If you want somebody to act like
you, talk like you, be like you, think
like you, [snorts] get along with
everything you saying, basically be your
helpmate and yes man and yes sir, like
look in the mirror like we are different
and we have to accept people for who
they are and that's what men and women
are not doing cuz we want you to do this
and that. It's all performative based
though. We want you to perform.
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