Do Men Actually Have Reproductive Rights?

Do you think that men have reproductive rights? Um not in the context of the way we discuss like pro-choice. Like I'm pro-choice. I believe a woman should have the choice of what she does with her body, if or when she has a child. I feel like not only does she benefit from that, but wider society benefits in the sense that we're not forcing women to have children they don't want. And if you look at the data, unwantedness causes a huge amount of issues later in life. A child born to an unwanted mum, for example, is more likely to be a criminal. Um I like to apply that to men too who don't have the same choice. So, after conception, a man's choice to be a father is is gone. He's sort of beholden to the woman's wishes, which which is quite right. He should not be able to choose if she keeps or has an abortion, in my opinion. But he's coming along for the ride whether he likes it or not. He has no choice. His choice was to wear a condom or not. And what whatever reason, maybe he did, if she becomes pregnant, there's no choice left. She can, you know, have a morning-after pill. She can have an abortion. She can have safe haven laws, which basically mean that up to 3 weeks after birth, a woman can give a baby to a police station or fire station, and they'll take it no questions asked. No name, no nothing. And as a a man does not have that choice, and he's basically forced to finance a decision he has no choice in. And this is something that's called a paper abortion, or more recently called voluntary parental surrender, which is a hypothetical right which doesn't exist for a man to um forfeit all privileges and responsibility to a child he doesn't want, as long as A, he tells the mum-to-be early in the pregnancy so she can make an informed choice, B, he contributes to the medical fees of childbirth. Uh it doesn't exist. A lot of pro-choice feminists support it, like Karen DeCrow. And she was saying like an autonomous woman making a unilateral decision uh she not expect a man to finance that choice. And I get it. It's a very controversial thing. People think it gives men the ability to be sort of deadbeats and step out of childhood. And there are some fair criticisms. I'm I don't necessarily think I support or unsport it. I want to have that discussion. I want to know what might these rights look like for men? Can we give men more choice? And is forcing men to be dads to children they don't want going to have the exact same problem as the same harm to women where it was causing like a generation of unwanted, more likely to be criminal children. And we all know the links between fatherlessness and crime, juvenile crime in boys. And I want to know will is giving choice to men and fathers going to help them make that choice to become to be a committed parent. Uh as I feel like a parent that's chosen to be one is more likely to raise a child that's happy and healthy. And that's why I'm pro-choice for both men and women. Yeah. What do you say to the people who would claim if you didn't want to be a father, you shouldn't have had sex? I mean there's a feminist slogan that says consenting to sex is not consenting to parenthood, and I agree. And that applies to men and women. Like you'll see that sign on placards outside um in protests held by feminists. Consenting to sex is not consenting to parenthood. Some people disagree. That's why that's my personal belief, and I like to extend that. I feel like I think like one in 10 men in America have been forced or had a partner try to trick them into getting pregnant when they didn't want to. One in 10. That's like the classic thing of like, "Oh, I'm on the pill. Oh, no, I'm not." Like baby trapping, I suppose you'd call it that. And I'm like, well, they should have a choice. There are men who have been raped that have been legally compelled to pay child support. Uh they didn't have a choice either. And boys, there have been boys that have been raped by babysitters, teachers, and they grow up like four or five years later, and then they're served court documents saying you owe this much money in child support. And I'm like, they didn't have a choice either. So, again, it's very complicated. Um and I just don't think this meme of well, you shouldn't have had sex is pixelated and not very modern perspective in my opinion and it certainly doesn't apply to women. Unless you're of course pro-life. I suppose this tumbles down from reproductive rights into custody rights as well. I haven't actually seen you write much about this. Uh, although you post a lot on your Instagram, so I very well may have missed it. What's the TLDR of uh, fatherhood custody rights? Um, um, in America, probably best to talk about it. Um, so what a lot of people want is called a presumption of joint child custody. I think I got that right. And what that means is that the father and mother who are fighting for custody enter court on a level playing field. It's a presumption that we're going to have shared child custody here. Uh, currently that doesn't exist. That only exists in two states. I think one of them's Kansas. Florida was going to bring it in, but it got thrown out because of so much campaigning against it by, ironically, the National Organization for Women, which is the biggest feminist group in America. They were the ones that were campaigning against equality, which is just doesn't make any sense. Um, so presumption of shared custody basically allows both parents to go in level playing field and they basically build their case from there. They say, well, I I earn this much, I have this much free time and then obviously people start making accusations of abuse and becomes very messy in family court. But, like I said, that presumption of shared child custody only exists in maybe two, perhaps three states. It's increasing, but not all of them. And in America in England in the UK it's even worse. Like in the UK, and if if you're not married, you are screwed. Like, if you're not married or named on the birth certificate as a father, you have no rights to that child. Oh, yeah, you um, you said that's about This was your justification for why men should get married. Or this is part of your justification for why men should get married. I mean, I don't know if I made that argument, but if you want to keep If you want to have equal rights to your child, you should be married. Yeah. And I don't think that's I mean imagine a woman not having rights to something unless she was married to a man. That is that is ultimate that is like the ultimate patriarchy definition. Like you have to be married if you want equal rights. That's exactly how it exists in the UK for fathers. You have to be married or named on the birth certificate. And in both instances, the mother can just be like, "No, I'm not going to marry you. I'm not going to name you." And then she has all she has full control over that child's life. You have none. And she'll have full rights no matter what. She doesn't have to be married. She can be single, divorced, separated, or married, it doesn't matter. She has full rights to the child. Not in the UK. And not for men. And it's not much better in America, but if you want to see serious systemic um sexism, then just go and spend a few hours outside a family court and talk to some of the fathers coming out and you'll hear some stories that will change your mind, I think. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by Element. Stop having coffee first thing in the morning. Your adenosine system that caffeine acts on isn't even active for the first 90 minutes of the day, but your adrenal system is and salt acts on your adrenal system. 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