Video summary
The core argument presented is that human personality is not formed in isolation but is fundamentally shaped by the environment and the people surrounding us, acting as a vessel or mirror for external influences. While we are born with innate biological templates for basic skills like language, these are merely mechanical tools; our actual identity and how we utilize these tools are entirely determined by our social context. This concept extends to collective identities formed by shared historical traumas and cultural experiences over centuries. Consequently, traits such as narcissism and psychopathy, which were once viewed strictly as mental illnesses, have evolved into positive adaptations necessary for survival in contemporary civilization. In this modern world, lacking these traits can lead to punishment or failure, whereas possessing them allows individuals to navigate a society largely constructed by mentally ill creators who built technology that demands such behaviors.
The speaker outlines the historical evolution of the field regarding narcissistic abuse through four distinct stages. The first stage involved creating a language for survivors to describe their experiences, while the second stage saw the rise of a "victimhood industry" where individuals competed to claim victim status for financial gain and social rights, often labeling themselves as super-empaths. The third stage transformed this dynamic into a morality play where narcissists were demonized as demonic forces of nature, elevating victims to an angelic, blameless status. This moral crusade utilized religious language and liturgical implements, effectively turning the discourse into a religion that absolved victims of any responsibility for their situations while casting abusers as pure evil.
Currently, the field has entered a dangerous fourth stage characterized by conspiracy theories that claim the entire world is run by narcissists and psychopaths who collude to enslave innocent victims. This narrative suggests that existing institutions, including law enforcement and the judiciary, are controlled by these malicious actors, leaving victims with no hope for justice through legal means. The speaker warns that this phase is being driven by charlatans and con artists who have compromised the media and academia without contributing genuine research or expertise. He predicts that this trajectory will end badly in bloodshed, as the incitement to violence encourages victims to take matters into their own hands with weapons, fueled by a growing hatred for authority and institutions.
Read the full video transcript
the concern we should have rather than
whether we are seen.
>> Of course.
If you are seen by the wrong parents,
you end up having a personality
disorder.
Absolutely.
If you are seen by if you are seen in
the wrong environment, an environment
that is for example suppressive of
emotions, an environment that frowns
upon intimacy, an environment that is
abrasive and aggressive and so on, then
you develop one way.
And if you are if you're born into an
environment or interact with an
environment that is the exact opposite,
then you become someone else.
You're shaped from the outside.
And normally, I mean, the answer is
obvious, I think, that absolutely people
around you determine who you are.
And in this sense,
you are an extension and reflection of
other people.
There is intergenerational transmission,
but not not in the
stupid epigenetic sense, you know, I'm
I'm traumatized my child will be
traumatized because, you know, I have
some I created some kind of trauma gene.
That's complete nonsense.
Not in this sense. In the sense that
the faults and the strong points of
people around you are carried onto you.
You're a container, you're a vessel,
you're a receptacle of your environment,
and a reflecting mirror.
And you're likely to pass this on. There
is absolutely transmission,
which is why we can safely say
that there are
collective identities.
Racism aside,
this is a very unpopular view,
politically incorrect, you can lose your
job, trust me,
but it has to be said that definitely
are collective identities, shaped by
centuries or millennia of of common
experiences, common language, because
language shapes consciousness,
uh common traumas, like the Holocaust
with the Jews, for example, or the
genocide in in Rwanda,
or the Nakba for the Palestinians. So,
we are definitely
uh the products of our time and of
people around us.
Of course, there's something innate. We
are born with templates. We are born,
for example, from for a with a template
for language.
But, these these templates are
mechanical. They're like These templates
are about doing things.
They're not about identity. They're not
about They are about how to do how to
So, you can you could call them semantic
semantic templates. Semantic in
psychology means skill, having a skill.
So, semantic memory is about having a
memory of how to do something.
So, you could call them semantic
templates. Like, you have these tools,
like apps,
apps installed on your smartphone when
you're born,
but the use you make of these apps is
entirely up to you. You can use YouTube
to watch educational videos. You can use
it to watch
cats jumping off roofs. You can use it
to watch pornography.
It's entirely up to you what you do with
these apps.
Never confuse the apps
with the smartphone.
Never confuse the apps with who you are.
The smartphone was created by other
people in factories.
The apps are not you.
The smartphone is you.
And it is a product of the labor
of other people, 100%.
>> I often wonder that
>> Well,
>> [laughter]
>> narcissism, attention-seeking,
thrill-seeking,
externalized aggression, and so on,
are built-in features.
They're features of technology, because
technology has been largely invented by
mentally ill people.
By people who are schizoids, by people
who are narcissists, by people who are
psychopaths.
We see the tech bros, yeah?
These are mentally ill people.
Some of them seriously mentally ill.
So, technology is an offshoot of mental
illness.
And yet,
it defines the world we live in.
We have to accommodate ourselves. We
have to positively adapt.
We have to become
We have to become in a way
that allows us to be efficacious.
Or self-efficacious. Allows us to garner
positive outcomes
uh from the environment. Allows us to
act in and on the environment.
In other words, what I think I'm trying
to tell you is that
narcissism and psychopathy have become
positive adaptations.
It is absolutely recommended for young
people to become narcissistic and
psychopathic.
And I think narcissism and psychopathy
should become part of the curriculum.
And we should have syllabi of narcissism
and psychopathy.
Because if you are insufficiently
narcissistic and insufficiently
psychopathic,
you are
punished somehow. Or you are laid back,
or you are, you know, you're loser
in the game of life.
You see in psychology, there is
in psychology, we don't use the words
good or bad.
Good or evil.
How do you identify a self-styled expert
who has no idea what they're talking
about? The minute they use the word
evil.
That's not a professional.
Why is that?
Why do we refuse to impose morality
or introduce it into psychology? After
all, some people are evil.
And some people are good. Why do we
refuse to introduce it into psychology?"
Because in psychology
what we call today mental illness
is tomorrow's positive adaptation.
Take for example Auschwitz.
Auschwitz was a concentration camp and
I'm told not a very pleasant place to
spend 5 years in.
If you were in Auschwitz and you were
not depressed
like if you were in Auschwitz and you
did not have depression, you were
happy-go-lucky and cheerful and jovial
all day long
you were mentally ill.
Depression in Auschwitz
is a sign of mental health.
Narcissism in today's in contemporary
society and civilization, narcissism
is a sign of mental health.
It's adaptation.
We're adapting.
When you're in Auschwitz, you should be
depressed. If you're not depressed,
something's wrong with you.
When you're embedded in contemporary
civilization and you're not
narcissistic, something's wrong with
you.
First of all, historically, you're
talking to the father of the field. I
was the first to describe narcissistic
abuse and I coined the phrase
narcissistic abuse in the late '80s and
early '90s.
Consequently
I'm the sole observer, to the best of my
knowledge the sole observer
of the evolution of this field from
zero, from ground zero, which which is
me
to this very day.
I think I'm the only surviving person.
And I'm in this in this sense patient
zero, if you wish.
And so here is my observation. I think
it it started
with an attempt
to come up with a language.
People have been exposed to narcissists
and psychopaths for eternity, but they
didn't have a language.
I came up with a lot of this language. A
lot of this language is my invention,
but there other people who have
contributed neologisms and phrases and
so on. And now there's a pretty coherent
and cohesive language online
that can be used by survivors to convey
and communicate and describe their
experiences. That was stage one.
Stage two,
people realized there's money there.
All kinds of grifters and charlatans,
with and without academic degrees, have
entered the field.
And they started to pander to victims.
They
took a ride to hitchhike on the
victimhood train.
Nowadays, everyone and his dog and his
mother-in-law are victims.
The problem is there's a scarcity of
abusers. There's so many victims.
Because to be a victim you need to be
abused by someone. And if everyone is a
victim, then who the hell is abusing
them?
So,
that was the second phase, pandering to
victims. There was a victimhood
industry.
Competitive victimhood.
All kinds of idiotic
labels such as empaths and I super
empaths and supernova empaths and I
don't know what.
And there were unscrupulous
con artists, again with and without
academic degrees,
who took advantage of this and still are
taking advantage of this.
And they made a lot of money.
And they perpetuated the victimhood
stunts or the victimhood mentality
of people
in order to self-enrich, of course.
These people, on the other hand,
collaborated gladly.
Cuz to be a victim nowadays is chic.
To be To be a victim endows you with
specific rights and imposes obligations
on other people. To be a To be a victim
pays in a variety of ways, financially
included.
So, it's great to be a victim.
And it became an identity. So, now have
identity politics in in multiple ways.
But, also in the narcissistic abuse
space. That was stage two.
Stage three,
demonizing the narcissist.
Converting the whole space into a
morality play and a moral crusade
where narcissists are evil, demonic,
diabolical,
and knowingly so,
which is completely untrue clinically.
Narcissists don't know why they're doing
what they're doing.
Okay, but there was this demonization of
narcissists. And by implications,
if you're confronted with a demon,
you're an angel.
So, there was an elevation, apotheosis,
and angelification
of the victims. The victims became
impeccable,
pure, immaculate,
and and blameless, and had zero
contribution to their predicament.
Narcissist was cast as a kind of force
of nature.
And there was
intentional and deliberate use of
religious language
and liturgical
implements.
It became a religion. Absolutely
religion.
That was stage three. Now, we have
entered stage four.
We've just entered stage four. Started
about 2 years ago.
Stage four
is a conspiracy theory.
It's the claim that the world is run by
narcissists and psychopaths.
That narcissists and psychopaths
conspire and collude and collaborate in
order to enslave
victims.
Pure, unadulterated,
immaculate, poor victims
who have contributed nothing to their
situation.
And they're victims by virtue of the
fact that narcissists and psychopaths
are also say this. They're They enjoy
inflicting pain and ruining people's
lives.
And also, they enslave people for
self-interested purposes. So, now we are
in the conspiracy theory phase.
And the same charlatans and con artists
who
started off the victimhood pandemic,
they are now into the conspiracy phase.
They're peddling Now, they're now
peddling conspiracy theories. These are
well-known faces.
And the media is collaborating with
this, colluding with this because it,
you know, great headlines. You know?
And so, they have compromised the media
as well. They've contaminated the media
as well. Some of them are very
well-known, interviewed by one and
sundry.
And yet,
these people have made no contribution
to the field. They've published nothing.
Never ever participated in any
conference. Have never conducted any
study of anything. And they're mocked
and ridiculed in academe, where I
belong.
And yet, they're the face
They're the face of the field.
And so, this is the phase we're in,
conspiracy theories.
If I
may If I'm allowed to make a prediction,
it will end badly.
It will end in bloodshed.
I have no doubt about this.
This will end in bloodshed.
Some crazy guy, some crazy girl
will pick up a knife or a gun
and will shoot someone or someones
claiming that they were not the you
know, they were narcissists.
They're driving people to aggression and
violence. There are even images
of the victims using guns
and and
and knives, images online.
Even in documentary films.
Even in in podcasts, you have incitement
to violence.
Absolute incitement to violence. Calling
victims to take matters into their own
hands because the judicial process and
law enforcement are owned and controlled
by narcissists.
They can have no hope of justice from
existing establishment institutions and
structures. And this fits well
with a more general trend
of hatred and rejection of expertise, of
authority, of institutions, of the
establishment, and so on.
We have this populist trend.