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DEF CON 34 - VideoTeam - Cliff Stoll AfterHours

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Cliff Stoll opens his appearance at DEF CON by playfully addressing the nature of public speaking and audience engagement, suggesting that successful talks should avoid over-reliance on PowerPoint slides in favor of storytelling. He argues that audiences crave human connection and personal anecdotes rather than dry data sets or formal descriptions, noting that people want to meet the speaker behind the presentation. Stoll humorously illustrates this point by describing how he leans on his colleagues during interviews, turning a technical talk into an opportunity for genuine interaction. This approach emphasizes authenticity over polished visuals, encouraging speakers to be familiar with their material so they can focus on engaging directly with listeners rather than reading from slides or worrying about timing. The conversation then shifts to Stoll's academic background and the contrasting reception of his PhD dissertation versus his famous book, *The Cuckoo's Egg*. Although he spent five years writing a detailed scientific study on molecular scattering in Jupiter's atmosphere—a topic that impresses specialists with its technical depth—only a handful of people ever read it. In contrast, his memoir-style book about hacking experiences became widely popular because it tells an accessible story rather than presenting pure science. Stoll jokes that while academics might admire the complexity of his dissertation, general audiences prefer narrative-driven content and will buy books to support authors financially, even if they only skim them once due to what he calls "read errors" caused by rereading pages too many times. Stoll continues with a series of humorous observations about language degradation in printed materials, claiming that libraries are full of corrupted texts where letters fall out, adverbs turn into adjectives, and punctuation marks disappear entirely over time. He extends this absurd logic to suggest that library books should never be read because they accumulate so many errors from previous readers, urging everyone instead to purchase new copies of his book for optimal quality. His wit escalates further when he describes a person wearing a Klein bottle around their neck as someone who is non-orientable and imported directly from the fourth dimension, blending physics concepts with surreal humor that delights both himself and his interviewer. Throughout the interview, Stoll maintains an irreverent tone filled with self-deprecating jokes about insomnia, bit errors in memory, and even suggesting that fog horns are made of fog itself rather than metal. He reflects on growing up in a laboratory environment where biological experiments were conducted casually enough to include removing his mother after nine months—a joke that highlights the absurdity he finds in scientific rigor versus everyday life. Ultimately, Stoll's message is one of embracing imperfection and prioritizing human stories over rigid structures, whether in writing books or giving talks at conferences like DEF CON. His final words leave room for playful detachment as he invites his interviewer to join him physically before concluding with laughter about the impossibility of separating themselves completely.
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So, people think that I actually did a talk. It wasn't me. It was my alter ego. It was um people think that I know what I'm talking about, but I don't. Um the main the main way you do a talk, the way you do a talk is you assume that everyone in the audience has a tomato. And so your job is to move as quick as you can so that so that they usually miss and when they think that they're about to get you, you make sure that they don't. So So the other rule about doing talks, this is still is it videoing? Is it audioing? >> The main thing, the main thing for speaking at Defcon or anywhere else is to realize the more PowerPoint you use, the worse off you are. >> You want to do a talk, you ought to be able to do it sort of without thinking about it. You're familiar with what you want to say. Why do you need PowerPoint? Moreover, often times, not always, at Defcon, there's too many, oh, I got to give you more facts and not enough, oh, let me tell you about this story that happened. And there's a certain amount of there's a certain amount of I must formally describe all of this to you and make sure you understand the entire data set when what people want to hear is who's over there and and they want to know like how can you possibly be doing this? I mean people want to meet the person talking rather than just seeing their PowerPoint. >> No. >> Agreed. >> Absolutely. >> So if you have a talk to give, lean on the people around you who somehow or another will support you. No. >> Y absolutely. >> As everybody else sort of ducks out of the background. [laughter] >> I wanted to get a picture of you leaning on Joe. There it is. >> This is my better side to lean [laughter] on. >> Uh, so what did what were you wanted to do? An interview. [laughter] >> What would you like to do? >> Oh, I'd like to interview myself. >> Okay. Please do. >> Okay. Um [snorts] um um um >> so Cliff, I was wondering when you wrote your dissertation on the scattering function of molecules in the upper atmosphere of Jupiter, how come the number of people who read your PhD dissertation would fit into a bus shelter and that took you five years to write? But here there's a book called The Cuckoo's Egg that summarized one year of your life and it took you 9 months to write and yet everyone at Defcon wants to read your book and nobody wants to read your dissertation on Jupiter. [laughter] Um, Cliff, that I I have to answer the question, of course, right Cliff, that's a really good question. I've wondered about the same question myself. I think it's because well the pure science of the physics of Jupiter's atmosphere is so Were you throwing a tomato [laughter] >> at you? Right. It's so wonderful that people just stand in awe of that dissertation and as soon as they hear the phrase photoolarimemetry of non-gay atmospheres around the Jovian upper atmosphere, they just freeze solid and they say, "Oh, what a terrific dissertation." But when they see this book called The Cuckoo's Egg, they say, "Oh, geez, cheesy book. Uh, I'd better buy it to help out this guy's family." You know, anybody who'd do this, he needs more support than he can get by, uh, putting his hand out for donations. Uh, is that reasonable? >> Fair enough. [laughter] So that's that's the reason why um that's the reason why ain't nobody ever read my dissertation except for my adviser and three others on the committee. [laughter] >> I'll read your dissertation. >> Yeah. Right. Right. It'll put Yeah. Next time you've got insomnia. [laughter] >> Yeah. So story, >> right? Exactly. So that's that's pretty much concludes my dissert my interview of myself. Um uh what other things were there? Um >> what would you tell a kid just learning about Defcon? Never >> Oh, a kid learning about Defcon. >> Ah, save yourself the $580 [laughter] of the cost to come there and instead go out and buy a dozen copies of Cuckoo's Egg. [laughter] Um, you'll not only help yourself because you'll be able to read it, >> each book should only be read once. You know that? >> That's what I heard. Okay. >> Because the more you read a book, >> right, >> there's read errors, right? >> And they're caused by rereading the same pages. >> Sure. Sure. >> You know, notice an expert on the subject. >> If you read the same page over and over again, eventually these bit errors happen, >> right? And and so it's important that you every the next time you want to read a book, buy another new one. >> And of course, >> uh listen to this [laughter] expert. Listen to an expert on the subject. >> True. True story. >> Yep. And >> wait a second. I have to get the um So tell me um person who knows all about bit errors and things like this. Wouldn't you agree that a library book is the one book that you should never ever read because it has lots of other people who have read it? So all these read errors and parody errors show up in it. Say yes. >> Yes. Enter. >> Yes. Absolutely. >> Notice notice how that means that if you want quality writing only purchase new unread copies of Cuckoo's Egg. >> That one had some errors. You flipped through it. >> Oh, I flipped through it. What? Oh, yeah. What you want to do, what you >> Take it off your hands. >> Yeah. What [laughter] you want to do is when you get a good book, you know, get a get a book in your hand. Um, uh, page through it upright like this, never upside down. You'll find letters falling out on the ground. [laughter] And that's where adverbs will turn into adjectives. And there are these things called Oxford commas that you find all over the floor, you know. dashes. >> Oh, M dashes. M dashes get shortened to regular dashes and they get clunkked into semicolons and the semicolons turn into periods and the periods they disappear entirely. [laughter] So you got run-on sentences. Yep. That happen you take it from an experienced knowledge >> all the time. All the time. >> All well most of the almost all the time. >> Yeah. >> All the time except when it doesn't happen. >> 80% of the time. Every time. >> Yeah. 80% of the time. So yeah, it's >> the corridors. >> Where is it? >> Oh, notice somebody with taste and dignity. >> Who go walks around with a Klein bottle around the neck, right? How often do you find somebody with such eloquent sense of of self? How often do you find somebody who is so one-sided, someone who is so non-orientable, someone who is directly imported from the fourth dimension? I don't think ever anywhere I I [laughter] I I'm blown away by this. >> I appreciate that, Clint. >> Well, I appreciate it even more. >> Do you know how much volume a Klein bottle has? >> I not only know how much a volume a Klein bottle doesn't have, I also know much how much it does have. [laughter] Oh >> yeah, >> tell me about it. >> They're equal. >> Uh-huh. >> Um, so if >> if tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? >> Fog. >> Oh, where do you find goons from? [laughter] We'll >> ask ourselves this. >> Yeah, it was created in a lab. Cliff, >> in the lab. >> In a lab. from Mexico. >> I didn't think of it that way, but I guess you're right. It's a was a curious biological lab, and after being in it for 9 months, I went to have my mom removed. But I hadn't thought of it quite that way as a laboratory experiment. But I guess my parents probably thought of it that way, you know. >> Do you think I I [laughter] you know, I I like that point of view. Yeah. He's so fun. [laughter] >> He's such a blast. >> He is phenomenal. Yeah, >> I was I was I I >> I grew up in a lab. >> Oh, sorry. Uh, is that good enough? >> That's wonderful. >> That has nothing. >> Okay. Can I detach? >> You can detach. >> Oh, come here. Come here. [laughter] Come here. It's stuck.