Video summary
The video centers on Daniel Sloss's discussion of his best friend, Kai Humphries, a comedian known for possessing an unexpected ability to knock people out with a single punch. Sloss describes Humphries as a kind and gentle individual who would never initiate a conflict but would decisively finish fights when others were being physically intimidating or verbally abusive toward their partners. Humphries viewed these physical interventions not as acts of aggression, but as necessary corrections for individuals who had never been taught respect through the reality of being knocked down. Sloss recalls witnessing these incidents multiple times, noting that they often occurred in surprising settings like brunches, driven by a desire to prove that physical size does not equate to invincibility.
Despite his effectiveness, Humphries eventually stopped knocking people out due to the immense guilt and danger associated with the act. Sloss explains that after witnessing close calls where victims might have hit their heads or fallen onto curbs, Humphries realized the irresponsibility of his actions. The dynamic between the two friends also highlights a contrast in approaches; while Sloss relies on verbal de-escalation and self-deprecating humor to avoid fights because he knows he would lose, Humphries operated as a vigilante figure who felt compelled to enforce justice. This difference is further illustrated by an incident where Humphries defended his drunk friend against bouncers, leading to a massive brawl that resulted in Humphries being beaten up multiple times before the police arrived.
Sloss admits to having a similarly aggressive internal monologue, often imagining scenarios where he could dispense street justice to make the world better, yet he lacks the physical confidence or willingness to act on those thoughts. He jokes about his hypothetical nature as an "arbiter of kindness" who would likely end up in jail if given the power to fight, contrasting this with the American tendency toward gun violence which he ironically finds less chaotic than it seems. The conversation concludes with a reflection on how both men hold back from using their potential for violence, acknowledging that while they fantasize about being heroes, the reality of inflicting physical harm carries too much weight and regret to be taken lightly.
Read the full video transcript
You want to knock someone out. That's
That's a good one.
And pretty relatable. Go ahead.
Tell us more.
>> My best friend's is called Kai
Humphries. He's a great comedian. Uh
he's very kind. He's very nice. He's the
hardest person I know.
Like and you wouldn't expect it from
him.
And maybe not now that he's, you know,
in his [ __ ] 40s now. But like
late 20s and his 30s, that [ __ ] could
knock out anyone on the planet. And I
saw him do it multiple times. And it was
always justified. I always called him
Scummy Batman. You know, he would never
start a fight but he would finish
several. And it would only ever be if he
His opinion was very much like there are
some people in the world who act the way
they act because they've never been
knocked out before. And if you were to
just give them some [ __ ] medicine,
they're going to be a better person.
>> intervention.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a physical
intervention.
>> Yeah.
>> And he would never And it would never be
sup- He He was never coward punching
someone. It was never He was never blind
sided.
>> So we I was assuming you were drinking
every time.
>> Uh not every time. Sometimes he would
No, I've seen him knock people out in
the morning, which is wild, you know.
There's your [ __ ] coffee.
>> When? How? For what?
>> Just be- because of the way that they
were treating their partner. From
>> At like at breakfast?
>> Brunch sometimes.
You know.
>> Yeah.
>> Like he would
you know, somebody would be being rude
to and really shouting really [ __ ]
And they were using their physical size
to intimidate people. And he wanted to
prove that your physical size doesn't
mean you can't be knocked the [ __ ] out.
Uh and he's left-handed. He's an ink
dragger. So like people would never He
would always take his watch off
before cuz he's broken so many watches
from punching people in the face. So he
would always take his watch off before
he punched someone.
>> He's big or he's not?
>> No, he's not big. He's He's my height. I
would say
No,
similar similar size. Also, you know,
we've known each other for 20 years.
He's been chubby. He's been ripped. He's
He's He's through it all.
He's never had Oh, that's not true.
Sometimes he was happy when he knocked
people out. Sometimes he was [ __ ]
thrilled cuz some people really deserved
it. He did a good job.
And then but then like a lot of the
time, like he felt really bad after
Also, I was
a [ __ ] nightmare with him.
He's 7 years older than me. I've never
had an older sibling. I've only ever
learned de-escalation cuz I've never
been a fighter. I've never been in a
fight. I I've because the reason I don't
get into fights is cuz I know I'll lose
them. In my 20s when I was with him, I
was the obnoxious girlfriend. Like I was
People
>> up.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. People who
normally I would de-escalate situations
with if I was by myself, I'm like, my
boyfriend's here.
I was People who were being [ __ ] rude
to me,
[ __ ] I would get mouthy. I would get
gabby. And I'm funnier than anyone
in [ __ ] public saying these things.
So, I'm saying really cruel things to
antagonize people. I'm fight I'm not
going for their first insecurity. I'm
going for their fourth insecurity, the
one that most people don't know about
cuz I know how to [ __ ] hurt them.
Because all I want them to do is come up
to me and start a fight.
Cuz my boyfriend's going to knock you
out. [laughter]
Um
And God, I wish it was just I wish I had
the confidence myself to be able to
knock someone out like I
>> Do you How do you feel about Do you
think it's dangerous to knock someone
out?
>> Absolutely. And that's why Kai doesn't
do it anymore. Like he There was enough
Like he he the guilt he would often feel
afterwards of like And the sort of like,
"Oh my god, thank god they didn't fall
in such a way or hit their head off the
[ __ ] curb." Like the reason he's not
knocked anyone out in I would say about
five or six years is because like just
sort of realizing how irresponsible and
[ __ ] dangerous and all that stuff.
Like I think Now, he won't like the way
I'm talking about him. Like there's a
real regret, I think,
for him the way Thankfully, he never
killed anyone but he changed some lives.
>> [laughter]
>> He Do you think he changed Did anyone
come forward? Did anyone get in touch
with him like the like Jigsaw and go
like look
>> You knocked me the [ __ ]
>> Until you knocked me out I didn't know
how good I had it.
>> I hope he's got in contact. He's been
beating the [ __ ] up and changed because
of it as well.
>> Oh, that's interesting.
>> Like he's had like yeah yeah yeah like
he got his [ __ ] he got his [ __ ]
head kicked in like seven times or
something. They like pinned him down and
tried to
>> How come?
>> How come
>> You What did you say?
>> I was I I wasn't there.
>> [laughter]
>> I wasn't there at that time. Uh he was
in a bar and one of his friends was very
drunk but passed out on a table and so
the bar tried to remove him and they
were like no he's fine he's just he's
not he's [clears throat] too drunk but
he's just sleeping.
>> Yeah.
>> And then some bouncers came in to try
and throw him out. Um
so
Oh, one of them tried to hit him so he
broke a bouncer's nose by kneeing him in
the face three times. His brother one of
my favorite ever [ __ ] stories
uh the bouncer calls him back up four
more bouncers turn up all of Kai's
friends get up there's a big [ __ ]
brawl all of Kai's mates
>> How long were you He calls for backup
how long does it take?
>> Oh, there's there's there's
>> There's like he walkie-talkies they're
not okay.
>> yeah the bar there there's signals going
on.
>> All right.
>> Kai's brother uh grabs one of the
bouncers that comes in physically throws
them out of his own bar and says you're
barred and goes back in to join the bar
fight.
>> [laughter]
>> There's there's
there's fisticuffs they're all [ __ ]
going at each other
a bunch of other bouncers arrive from
other bars which are in the on the same
security team that are doing everything.
>> They're having a bouncer convention that
week yeah yeah several in town.
>> Uh and they take Kai around the corner
and like [ __ ] four of them hold him
down. One one guy just [ __ ] stomped
on his hands in a really [ __ ]
>> graphic.
>> Mhm.
And Kai, when the police came along
uh to be like, "Do you want to press
charges?" And he was like, "Well, I
mean, you know, thieves' honor." He was
never going to do it [ __ ] anyway.
But they were like the bouncers
uh they've got footage of
Kai's brother throwing the bouncer out
the bar. And that bouncer will drop
charges against your brother if you drop
charges against him. So, like, honor.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> So, what are the charges What would he
have charged his brother with? Being
excellent?
>> You know,
>> I'm charging you for the doing for I I
I am
greatness. [laughter]
Sir, you're taking this to the highest
court in the land
for
>> um
>> But
I wish these stories I told, I wish they
were about me.
It's like I wish I wish when I'm when I
have this [ __ ]
>> You've never fought?
>> I've been head-butted once.
>> exercise?
>> Yeah.
Yeah.
>> So, you're What do you Do you do any
combat exercises?
>> No. No. No. Yeah. I don't go to I don't
do martial arts for the same reason that
I would never live in this country
because if I owned a gun, I would kill
people.
>> Yep.
>> If you give me If I was able to beat
people up, I would be in jail tomorrow
because it's all I would do.
I would There's so
>> run aggressive? Are you like your
operating system's a little aggressive?
>> I could We can walk down the street for
10 minutes and I'll tell you 40 people
who need to die tomorrow for the world
to be a better place. Yes, absolutely.
>> So, it's pure vigilante.
>> Yes. Yes, absolutely. I am the arbiter
of kindness and goodness. And if I could
>> I thought so.
>> [laughter]
>> I knew I recognized you from somewhere.
>> If I could If I could dole out [ __ ]
street justice, my what What a better
place the world would be.
>> [laughter]
>> And I can't I can't have that power.
Like the
Americans blow my mind for the fact that
you're not just
killing each other. I mean, you are
killing each other.
>> And we really are.
>> We really are.
>> But I'm pretty good at
>> But like some of you aren't.
>> for the amount of I mean, it whenever
there's they go we have too many guns.
I'm like for the amount of guns we have,
this is not that bad.
>> are really holding back.
>> million firearms?
>> [laughter]
>> Yeah.
>> Like
>> It's it's a crazy small amount.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah, this is like we're being sensible.
>> [laughter]
>> We really are. I I really believe that
about our country.
>> Hey.
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