Video summary
Daniel Sloss openly admits to being a long-term weed addict, detailing a cyclical pattern of behavior that began when he was around twenty-nine years old. He describes the deceptive nature of his addiction, noting how he would go through phases of abstinence only to count down the days as proof that he was in control, a tactic he identifies as a clear sign of dependency. His relapse often followed a specific ritual on random Sunday nights where he would make a dramatic gesture of throwing away his stash before secretly buying more and hiding it around the house. This cycle eventually escalated from occasional use after dinner to consuming weed every single day, despite his attempts to maintain a facade of being a high-functioning stoner who exercised, ate healthily, and fulfilled his duties as a father and husband.
The core of Sloss's struggle lies in the misconception that cannabis alleviated his anxiety, when in reality, it merely masked boredom and prevented him from confronting his inner turmoil. He explains that while he felt guilty about being high, he used the substance to silence his thoughts and avoid the painful process of analyzing his emotions. Instead of curing his anxiety, weed acted as a short-term fix that made his underlying issues worse by numbing him to the point where he could not communicate effectively with his family. He reveals that when he was sober, he would talk more, apologize for being grumpy in the morning, and engage honestly with his son about his tiredness and emotions, whereas being high left him quiet and disconnected, causing him deep heartbreak over his failure to connect with his loved ones.
Sloss concludes that the most significant lie he told himself throughout his twenties and thirties was that he was a better person when intoxicated, whereas the truth is that he is a much better father, husband, and individual when sober. He argues that while everyone else can stop using weed, his ability to do so has given him a clearer perspective on his own humanity. Without the substance, he experiences a wider range of emotions, which allows him to reconcile and understand them rather than suppressing them with a drug. Ultimately, he asserts that being high does not make him a better person; instead, it delays the inevitable response to his problems and prevents him from truly facing himself, proving that sobriety leads to greater self-love and authentic human connection.
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I'm a drug addict.
>> Yes.
>> Which one?
>> Weed.
>> Okay. So, that's And when was the last
time you smoked it?
>> Uh February.
>> How What What happened?
>> I went to therapy in January because I
knew I mean, I've known I was I was
addicted since I was about uh
29. I would go through phases where I
would stop for a bit uh just to count
down the days to prove to myself that it
wasn't a problem.
>> I know. That By the way, if you're
counting the days that you're not doing
something, that's I think the clearest
sign that you're an an addict.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Uh
>> Anyone who's like, "I haven't had a
drink in [ __ ] 34 days." You're like,
"I don't know when the last time I had a
drink."
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cuz it's not
something that affects I did 100 days
off of it. I count down It was like a
[ __ ] advent calendar. Counting down
the days to prove that I was in control.
And then I would My behavior was
cyclical. I would on a Sunday night a
random Sunday night I would go, "Right.
I'm with smoking sky high and I'm going
to go outside and have my last toke. I'm
going to [ __ ] throw all of my weed
into like the river or the neighbor's
garden."
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> It's like a gesture, a big [ __ ]
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> I would tell my housemate. I'd be like,
"Hey, I'm off weed so don't like give me
any like I
make sure he's hiding from me."
And then
when he was out of the house, I would
look through his drawers. I would You
know, I would go through his room until
I found the [ __ ] weeds. I would then
buy weed from a different [ __ ]
dealer. I would hide it around the
house.
Uh and then it would go from like only
after 7:00 p.m., only after 3:00 p.m.,
only after 11:00. And then it was every
day.
Eventually, my wife would sort of notice
but because again, high-functioning
stoner.
So, you know, when I was high, I would
feel so guilty about being high. I was
like, "Well, don't be [ __ ] lazy. Go
and do things." I would I would write. I
would clean. I would be like super
present as a father. I would make [ __ ]
because
if I could prove there were no
consequences,
then it wasn't a problem.
>> Yeah.
>> As long if I was high all the time, as
long as I was doing if I was going to
the gym, if I was eating [ __ ]
healthy, then it was not a
>> Is Okay, let's say you are doing you are
highly productive, right?
>> Yeah.
>> What is the problem?
>> Health.
What it does to my health, what it does
to my anxiety. It's a short-term fix for
a long-term problem. Like uh the I I I
used to convince myself that we'd
reduced my anxiety, which I know for a
lot of people it does. And that that's
what I thought it was doing to me.
It reduced my anxiety. It made my
anxiety way worse. It made me talk about
my anxiety less. It made me sort of push
it [ __ ] I would just sit there in my
head and spiral. And then whenever
anyone spoke to me, that would always be
a distraction from it. I would never
tell them truly what was going on in my
head.
>> Yeah.
>> It wasn't a cure for my anxiety. It was
a cure for my boredom.
You know, and boredom is a a real
privilege.
And I think sometimes I was just very
bad at being bored because when I was
bored, I'd be in my own head. And I sort
of didn't realize how much I hated
myself. So I didn't like being in my
head. So weed was a great place to sort
of, in theory, uh
take me out of that. And like I love
weed so much. I would love to have a
healthy relationship with it in like 10,
15 years' time. If you were to give me
weed right now, there is nothing anyone
in the world could do to stop me.
>> If only weed had a sister.
>> I I was never Cocaine I could give up
easily. Cocaine was never I Cocaine's
great. But like I can not do cocaine for
I haven't I haven't done cocaine for a
[ __ ] ages.
>> Yeah.
>> I In my 20s I was doing it a bit, but I
would stop. I wouldn't need it. I'm
like, "How the [ __ ] am I addicted to the
non-addicted one?"
>> not even a problem other than the
anxiety. Meaning I like I used to take
Zoloft. Like and I stopped. Whatever, I
can discon-
You know, I didn't feel I was addicted
to it, but it was helping me.
>> Oh, was it? Weed wasn't helping you?
>> No, yeah. If it's not helping you,
that's a problem. Yeah.
>> I convinced myself for so long that it
was helping me. It was not helping me.
Yeah. But a big part of like hating
myself was hating how much of a It's not
good
at least for me
being a stoned dad.
>> I completely agree. My But then I
There's a part of me that thinks
Explain to me Explain to people the
difference between being a stoned dad
and a regular dad cuz you've done both.
>> Yeah.
Being a
For me, again, there's Yeah, people with
real valid reasons to [ __ ] smoke
weed. I I do not want to take it away
from anyone.
>> Apparently, I mean a lot of the studies
coming out, it's not good for anyone.
>> Okay.
>> Like in the last month or two, it's been
like, "Ew. This we thought it was all
good. It's really not."
>> Yeah, no, it's not. Um I There was one
[ __ ] you know, I'd wake up in the
morning and make my kids [ __ ]
breakfast. And like part being a
functional stoner is getting away with
it.
At one point, my son was like, "Why are
you always quiet in the morning?"
And I was like, "Oh, [ __ ] he's
noticed." Like he
Because when I'm not high, I'm talking.
I'm distracting myself. I'm doing Oh,
and also, I'm angry cuz it's the morning
and I'm tired.
And my It's [ __ ] 6:30 a.m.
And if I'm not high,
I'm annoyed that my son woke me up
[ __ ] an hour ago when I'm making
these things. So sometimes I'm like I'm
a bit nippy with him or like I get angry
and then I'll apologize for being nippy.
And we have these conversations and I
explain my emotions to him. And I'm
like, "Hey, I'm sorry. I'm not angry at
you. I'm angry that I'm awake. And I'm
all out of coffee." And I shouldn't even
need my coffee. Blah, blah, blah. And
it's not your fault I'm tired. I
shouldn't have played Ark Raiders until
1:00 a.m. last night. I knew you were
going to wake up at this [ __ ] time.
But I made a dumb decision. I tell my
son all these things.
Now when I'm high,
I
It's all in there. And he would just go,
"Why are you quiet?"
And that really really broke my heart,
which is like, "Oh my god, I'm not as
good at communicating with him as I
thought I was." Communication is a huge
thing for me and the loved ones
in my life. It's the way that I get rid
of all of my anxiety. It's the way I
sort of explain myself. It's the way I
feel better about myself. It's just sort
of like, "Right, this cruel inner
monologue thing, I'm going to say it out
loud and explain to people how I'm
perceiving the world so that they can
correct me within it."
And I wasn't uh
doing it. And that like
in the first 4 days of going back in the
cycle of getting back on weed is the
best because that's when the guilt is
there. So, it's like, "I'm high, so I'm
going to focus on being extra present.
I'm going to be super fun to play with.
It's my phone's in another [ __ ] room.
I'm not distracted. I'm
I'm fully one and a half
>> Lucky. This is better than me not than
being sober.
>> Yeah. I'm I'm a heightened version of
myself.
Day four, I need
>> Yeah.
>> more hits more regularly. And it's not
killing my boredom anymore. So, my phone
is So, I'm on my phone. It's don't when
my kids in the [ __ ] room. And then
he's, you know, trying to [ __ ] engage
with him and I'm [ __ ] nippy again.
All the stuff that I was smoking weed to
get rid of is still there.
>> Yeah.
>> It's still there all the time. I just
delayed the [ __ ] response of it. I Me
personally
like the biggest lie I convinced myself
during my 20s and 30s was that I was a
better person when I was high. I'm a
much better person when I'm not.
I'm a better dad. I'm a better husband.
I like myself more when I'm not high.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh cuz I don't It's not an extra [ __ ]
whip to flog myself with. It's not
another reason to [ __ ] hate myself.
>> Yeah.
>> Um and
Am I angrier and grumpier and do I
experience a wider range of emotions?
Absolutely.
>> Unfortunately,
>> And it makes me more human.
>> Yeah.
>> And I because when I have those big
emotions, I'm able to reconcile them
afterwards. I'm like, "Fuck it. Hell,
that was a big one. Where did that come
from?"
>> Yeah.
>> You know, I analyze it as opposed to
numbing it.
Um and again, if you smoke weed,
live my life, but do it. I love I love
it. I want everyone to [ __ ] have the
best time on it. I just the difference
between you and me is everyone else can
stop.
>> Hey.
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