Submind YouTube summaries
Thumbnail for Daniel Sloss on marrying his ex-girlfriend’s sister

Daniel Sloss on marrying his ex-girlfriend’s sister

Watch on YouTube

Video summary

Daniel Sloss opens his story by confirming that his wife is indeed the younger sister of his ex-girlfriend, a relationship that began five years after he and his ex broke up. He describes their initial split as remarkably healthy, occurring within twenty minutes because they realized they simply did not fall in love despite liking each other. At the time, Sloss was twenty-one while his ex was nineteen, and he admits he never paid much attention to her until she had a significant "glow up" later on. He clarifies that he never pursued her when she was younger because she was already in a relationship, ensuring there were no ethical complications regarding age or availability at the start of their courtship. The dynamic between the two couples is defined by stark personality contrasts that ultimately made them compatible. Sloss's ex-girlfriend is highly driven, organized, and suffers from ADHD, requiring things to be done in specific ways, whereas his wife possesses a "quiet brain" with no negative inner monologue or self-loathing. While Sloss struggles with anxiety and a vicious internal critic, his wife offers a peaceful existence where her thoughts are neutral observations like noticing a nice tree or feeling hungry. This difference proved crucial; when they first started dating secretly, the ex-girlfriend took it out on Sloss's wife because she felt betrayed, but over time, the couple realized that their personalities did not clash and that they could build a genuine life together without the friction that would have plagued them with his ex. Despite initial secrecy and some awkwardness when the truth came out, the relationship evolved into something pure and honest rather than a source of drama. Sloss admits he aggressively pursued his wife partly because it seemed like a funny story to tell, but he quickly fell in love with her genuine nature. Even though they were initially hiding their relationship while both seeing other people, they maintained complete honesty with each other during that secret year, which solidified their bond. Today, the ex-girlfriend has admitted she was wrong about the situation and is now a wonderful sister-in-law who happily supports her sister and acts as a loving aunt to Sloss's children, proving that the marriage is far from the bitter scenario often expected by outsiders.
Read the full video transcript
My wife is my ex-girlfriend's younger sister. Any questions? Not. Is it the one from >> No, not no. I didn't get food poisoning at a restaurant and then go back to the same restaurant 2 weeks later being like, "I heard you do ve. >> Did you How did that happen?" So, I dated my ex-girlfriend when we were 21 years old uh for about 3 months. We liked each other. We had a probably the healthiest breakup I've ever had in my entire life. Like just two people who liked each other but really realized that we weren't going to fall in love. >> Yeah. So when we broke up, >> which by the way, you know, within 20 minutes? >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, after you come, >> you believe that you come and you go, "Do I want to stay here?" And if you do, you love them. >> I think that's a big part. Being able to Look, wanting to [ __ ] someone is such an easy feeling to feel. Wanting to be with someone when you're at like your most vulnerable and your most pathetic when you know your [ __ ] is limp and it's covered in your own [ __ ] to want to be with that person is a very special feeling. Uh and I'm >> incredibly romantic. I mean in in its way it actually is. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean look my my wife has seen me at my uh at my worst and at my best and somehow loved me equally during both. >> How do you make the transition? I would assume she had to suggest the sister had to go like you should date my sister. No, no. I I So, my wife, 5 years after me and my ex break up, we're still in contact occasionally, just checking in on each other because we're good friends and because she's a nice kind human being um and we care about each other. >> And then I'm doing a show during the French Finch Festival and for the first time in my career, there's a smoke show in the front row. My fans are lovely people, very ugly. Um, and for the first time there's like a genuinely hot 10 out of 10 woman in the front row and I recognize her as my ex's younger sister and I bring it up and she acknowledges that she is. The reason she's in the front row is because her friends bought tickets and they were late so it was the only seats [ __ ] left. After the show I like, come say hi. Be good to I fancied her [ __ ] straight away. Like I did you meet her when you were with her sister? >> Yes, but she was Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like she was at >> 14. >> No, that's a tough one. >> She's two years younger than my ex. So I'm not I'm not a monster. I I date my ex when we were 21. So she was 19 and she was and she was in a relationship with a with a guy. So it was it was never Look, she's always been very beautiful, but it I I never paid attention to her in that sort of way. >> And then like five years later, I want to say she had a I will say she had a glow up. She'll hate this, but she acknowledges it. My wife is workingass. She's from the north of Scotland. And do you know do you know what a Ned or a Chave is? >> No, but I can figure it out. >> It's Yeah, it's workingass. Yeah, she was a piece of [ __ ] She was like my my my wife was underage drinking at the age of [ __ ] 13. Like she was a [ __ ] riot, >> which is why she's fun because she's a real person. I I made sure that I got with somebody that was not related to this job at all. Yeah. So, she has this this, you know, this this glow up. Um, and we hang out for a bit, but she's just so easy. The My father-in-law often points out his both of his daughters are very different people, right? My ex-girlfriend is very ADHD, things have to be done in a certain way, driven, like if things aren't right, they're wrong. Hates it. Cara is the most laid-back person that has ever. She is unbburdened by an inner monologue. When I talk to her about my therapy and about how much I [ __ ] hate myself and how vicious my inner monologue is and like all of these doubts and things all the time. >> When I try to relate to my wife, it's the one thing she she has empathy for, >> but she can't relate. >> Quiet brain. Like when she's not thinking about something, there's nothing going on. >> Yeah. >> And and I didn't know people like that existed. >> Yeah. Is it the one where she has no inner monologue? Cuz there is that. >> No, she does. >> It's just like not negative. >> No, it's an inner monologue that goes, "That's a nice tree." >> Yeah. >> Oh, look, there's a dog. >> Yeah. >> Oh, I'm hungry. And it's it's it's it's period. >> Yeah. >> Pause. >> Yeah. And then if there's nothing to say, her Maybe it's changed now that I think now that she's a mother, she gets >> sure parental anxiety. Yeah. But her inner monologue is never telling her that she's not good and she Why'd she bomb last night? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just it's clear and I tried to relate to her. I one of my, you know, breakthrough therapy sessions where I came back and I sort of worked out that I had anxiety and a sort of deep self-loathing. And I sort of said it to her, I'll never forget. She just said, "That sounds really hard. I guess I just have a quiet brain. And I was just so envious. >> Yeah. >> Just to be like, what? What do you mean? >> So when you get into bed and you lie down, >> it's just straight to sleep for you. There's no murder fantasies. There's no self-loathing. There's no you doing your own personal [ __ ] genocide in your head. It's just it's just clear. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Sometimes I worry if I've not put the washing on and I'm like, "What a life. What a life." Um, and uh, so how do you, so you meet her at Edinburghough and then how do you, so then you like >> I aggressively pursue her because and and I will admit this at the time I'm like, wouldn't it be [ __ ] funny? Wouldn't it be a great story to buy my ex's younger sister? Wouldn't that make me the coolest, greatest, funniest man in the entire hall of fame? Yeah, absolutely. Also, like after we banged, we were rightfully reprimanded by her best friends, my best friends, being like, "You're both pieces of [ __ ] You're both clearly doing this for attention. This is disgusting and you're you both should be better than this." Which obviously, >> and you were on an Instagram live like, "What? What are you talking? It's not us. It's not us. >> I don't think you see me." Um, and then because we knew there was no future to our relationship, because we knew there was no way that we would ever let it all hang out and be honest. >> And it was the single greatest and purest relationship of I mean during this time during this year where we're keeping it [ __ ] secret, we're banging other people because we're just the [ __ ] buddies. We're just like, "Hey, we just two people who have sex." And you don't tell the sister. >> She finds out. Okay. How'd that go? >> Not well. Uh, but she, you know, she found out and she arrived at some very incorrect conclusions. Conclusions that she now will admit that she was wrong about, that she'll have reacted to that >> it was intentional, that kind of thing. You're doing it to hurt me. >> Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then also like she was in a she was in a a relationship herself and because like because we ended in such a healthy way like she really uh sort of took it more out on my wife than I think since I was the one that pursued it more. >> Yeah. >> And you are irresistible. >> What can I say? So like at the start there was a reaction to it which made us sort of hide it in secret and then during that secret sort of year where we were very honest with each other and fell in love by the time that we were then [ __ ] public about it and we and you know we're married kids. We proved that it wasn't a phase. It proved it wasn't this. My ex-girlfriend is a wonderful sister-in-law. She is the greatest aunt to both of our children. uh you know there's people are always expecting lots of drama and bitterness and I guess that comes from people who aren't really good at communication. Um I think >> it's also not that big a deal. >> No, we on paper but then you just go >> I don't why not. It's >> since since we broke up she was in a relationship for 5 years. She was in another relationship uh for two years. Uh and you but look she's she's a very healthy educated woman and she's happy for her sister. >> Yeah. >> And also it's not like also we would not me and her didn't work. >> Yeah. Busy brain and busy brain is not a yin and yang. >> Yeah. >> There's no we we didn't compliment each other verbally. Obviously we did but in terms of our personalities we got on but it would have been you know it I it would have been friction forever whereas you know >> now there's no friction with a smooth brain woman. >> Yeah. Um what a compliment but you are smooth brain. >> Yeah. >> Um >> hey you should like and subscribe.