Video summary
Daniel Sloss opens up about his long-standing struggle with severe self-loathing, a sentiment he finally admitted to out loud during therapy sessions in January of the current year. He describes a unique psychological mechanism where he uses his anxiety as fuel for his comedy career, convincing himself that the nervous energy on stage is actually excitement. This strategy allowed him to build confidence and succeed professionally, but it also led him to question whether his early success was merely a mask covering deep-seated insecurity. He realizes that his brain is often crueler than others', constantly critiquing his actions and motives in a way that few people experience.
The core of his self-criticism revolves around the belief that he is not inherently morally good, but rather an artificial construct that has calculated how to be decent. Sloss argues that any good decision he makes is a result of intellectual calculation rather than instinct, leading him to feel like a "robot" or an AI programmed to do the right thing. He attributes his generosity and kindness to immense wealth guilt and a desire to buy friendship, dismissing these traits as mere "character washing." Despite acknowledging that he was young, attractive, and privileged enough to get opportunities before others deserved them, he remains unhappy with this handout of success, feeling like a straight white man who has everything yet still feels inadequate.
However, the conversation shifts when Sloss addresses the practical impact of his self-hatred on his life. He clarifies that while he hates himself, it does not drive him to suicide or make the world better if he were removed; in fact, many people would be devastated by his death. He recognizes that this intense self-loathing serves as a driving force, pushing him to take the next step and keep moving forward rather than staying still. Ultimately, he concludes that while he struggles with appreciating the abundance of his life due to past reliance on stand-up for self-worth, he genuinely loves the life he is living now with his family, viewing his comedy as a fun extra rather than his sole definition of worth.
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So you realize you hate yourself.
>> Yes.
>> And then
what do you do with it? You're not
you're That's where we are?
>> Yeah, yeah. You know, I told my wife
>> How long it was did you come home from
therapy and be like
sweetie
>> I can't even believe it.
>> January of this year.
>> So I knew that like I knew I had a like
anxiety and I knew that I had through my
wife a lot.
>> How did you get anxiety? From from
looking at the
on the faces of sexually sexual
>> know. I don't know. I I I sometimes
wonder if I if I always had it and but
just like it was a driver. Like when I
was anxious, the way to own that anxiety
was to go out on stage and was to be
good and to be bigger and to be to cover
up and I wonder if like so much of my
early confidence was like just a mask
for the anxiety.
>> Which is a trick people use for anxiety
is like I mean but it like their my my
girl's therapist like she's like if you
can turn anxiety into you can tell
yourself it's excitement.
>> Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. So that's
what I think I did.
And then I sort of realized that like
obviously my brain is much busier than
other people I know. It's much crueler
than other people I know.
And then yeah, I mean it was in therapy
in January I said for the I think for
the not for the first time out loud but
I
like I
often when I walk past a mirror will
just look at myself and tell me I hate
myself. Like I I'll say out loud. But I
hadn't admitted that out loud to anyone
until therapy in about January.
>> What's your argument against yourself?
>> What do you mean?
>> What what when you go I hate myself
because
>> Oh no, no. There's no because of
everything.
>> Give me some.
>> Any good decision I make is calculated.
It's not my instinct. The reason I do
good things isn't because that's what I
want to do. It's because I am able to
work out what the right thing to do is.
I don't think I'm a morally good human
being. I feel like I'm a [ __ ] AI
that's worked out how to be good. But
the therapist is like, "What would the
people who love you say about you?"
They would say that I'm generous. I'm
generous because I have immense
wealth guilt.
I am generous because
it's a great way of
buying friendship. It's a great way of
like, you know, I I
I'm
>> Character washing.
>> Yes. Yes. Oh, yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Yoink.
>> [laughter]
>> I mean
I'm a great guy.
>> Yeah.
Um you know, the reason I have a career
is because I was young and attractive
and I got spots before
other people deserved them. My
confidence sort of
hid the lack of talent. I was No, no, I
would say I'm talented. So, I'll give
I'll give myself that. But yeah, just a
[ __ ] straight white man who got
everything handed to him on a [ __ ]
plate and is still unhappy with it all.
>> The straight white man, I don't buy.
>> Oh, I am.
>> There's a
I don't buy.
>> No, I am. [laughter]
>> No, but I'm saying like there's a lot of
straight white men. You live in England.
>> Scotland.
So, I'm [ __ ]
>> You called me Call me British first.
>> The the I didn't realize it was
Scotland.
>> The next time I'm hitting you.
>> I know.
There was just one of us blind.
Um the
the you can work out what morality is.
>> Yes.
>> That's why there's the Bible and the
Quran cuz we can't do it. That's why
there's the Torah. That's why
human beings are not our default is not
morality.
So, this idea that you're especially
immoral, [ __ ] throw it away. I just I
throw it away. It's it's you're not
right. You're not right. There's lots of
people who have money that aren't
generous.
>> Mhm.
>> So, like again
having [clears throat]
the absolute correct moral impulse in
every instance in every instance is
preferable, but no one's been able to do
it, which is why we still talk about
Jesus.
>> I was about to say, have you heard of
Jesus?
>> And God No, I know, but that was a That
was a while ago.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> And we're still talking about like
that's how extraordinary Gandhi,
whatever. And then if you dig into these
people,
they weren't even they weren't
I can I can argue these as I'm sure you
can and I I don't think you're wrong to
argue with them.
>> therapist, surely this is surely this is
good being with a therapist or is it
>> to date one?
>> Yeah.
>> I No, I think about moral I think about
morality more than most people.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> I more than I think she does.
>> Yeah.
>> I I'm obsessed I mean a friend of mine
one time said he's never met someone
more obsessed with justice than me.
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>> Like I'm
just built that way. So, what I'm saying
is like
you're
these charges are not
I think the only charge that I think is
worth
like changing is like you don't enjoy
your life.
>> I love my life.
>> Oh, okay. You're you don't appreciate
the the abundance of it.
>> I do not. Now that now that I'm married
with kids and now that like now that
like stand up used to be the most
important thing in the entire world to
me. That was how I defined myself. It
was how I got all my [ __ ] self-worth.
Now taking like time off to like be at
home and get my self-worth from my
children and my wife
and stand up is now this fun extra thing
that I get to do that provides this
amazing life for much I mean that I
don't have depression. Like I hate
myself, but it's not I don't hate myself
to the point where I want to kill
myself. Yeah. Like Yeah, I I don't I I
don't think a lack of me in the world
would make the world a better place.
Like I that I don't have When I When I
hate myself, it's not like oh, you
should remove yourself. Yeah. If
[snorts] I were to die, it would
devastate many, many people.
Uh they are better for having me in
their lives. Like I can I can
[clears throat] see that part of it. My
hating myself is just I mean it's a fuel
in a way.
>> Mhm. Like I guess it's like a drive.
>> It's a It's like a affect.
>> Yeah. Yeah, and it's and it's a way to
try and be
better, I guess. It's to like, you know,
hating yourself very profoundly makes
you really put your next footstep in
front of the other to just sort of keep
going.
Um
but in terms of my life, no, I'm I mean,
my my life is great. And I And it does
take It does take me reminding myself,
and it does make make me you know,
having to [ __ ] write it down and like
practicing gratitude, which, you know,
>> I know.
>> It's the single It's the single gayest
thing in the world.
>> absolutely It's gayer than
>> It's gayer than [ __ ] of the ass.
>> Significantly.
>> It's so much so.
>> So the [ __ ] of the ass isn't gay till
you start journaling.
>> [laughter]
>> It's just what
>> It's fine like it's not it's
heterosexual but if you journal about it
>> Yeah.
>> I'm I'm you're officially
>> for the G spot and the iPhone.
>> [laughter]
>> Um yeah. The The
The Yeah.
I I I I love my life. I hate myself.
I love the life that I'm living. I love
what I get
>> You I'm sure you've explored with your
therapist the idea of What is it? It's
The thing about I hate myself, your
favorite part of that sentence is self.
>> Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I
>> Yeah. Yeah. I self.
>> The only word I don't like is hate.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
My self Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
>> Hey.
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