Can You Be Too Open On Social Media Every Way Woman Talk Show

I'm everyday woman woman former in everywhere here here I'm living my life living day by day you lose every woman there are some major changes happening in the talkshow world in Los Angeles everywhere [Applause] welcome back to every way woman so ladies I'm going to talk about what it's like to be different in a culture that expects you to follow the norm beyond race and of course the pluming race mm-hmm you know amber you're you're different you're you you've gone above and beyond what was you know may be expected of you in ways and you've really been a true trailblazer in your community and you know it's not like for you first of all I stand on shoulders a lot of african-american women and I think for me and my family they want to stay in their small city and I just saw a bigger picture that's what I meant when I said you're different but I mean my thing is I don't want to be different I mean I like me and different but I think normal to me is different so I don't know and that's not I grew up in a military family so we moved around a lot and so there wasn't really somethin or there wasn't a Norton nothing was normal when I was growing up I found out that I wasn't normal by talking to normal people a mix sometimes I can blend into I'm Korean and Irish Wow when I lived in a Latin community and when I first came that came to LA and I went to the grocery store and everyone was Spanish and I was just trying to pick food I didn't understand what some other things were books made Spanish like oh I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish and this one man got so upset with me and going off in Spanish and I'm looking at him like I don't speak Spanish I'm sorry I did I say something and it goes why are you trying to be somebody or not why do you think you're trying to be white why do you letting go of your culture why are you this and this and this and I go I know what's how Spanish I don't really know I'm Korean and had to speak in Korean I was like well how about I don't know if the hunks on there and he's looking at me like you know any kind of walked away well now that I mean now that you're talking about the Latino community I think - no community what's the older generation it's like you have to be married you have to have children and it's like I always get that when I go to parties I know penis equals I you know it already past you know what do you mean it already past like so they tell me well I'm worried about that and I was so my mom I feel like a spinster because I grew up in the Midwest in a very conservative community where most the people were married by the age of 22 had a baby by 25 and I left four days after college move across country not married I don't have a child I'm not gonna have 30 wondering what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life and I'm a black sheep I am like a crazy and spinster but you know what though I've always you know even just within my family I've always been consider the one who you know what depending on depending on the mood of how they're addressing me I'm either the one that marches to the beat of my own drum or you know if they're in a less benevolent mood I'm the crazy one but I've always been comfortable doing my own family african-american culture is different oh absolutely we need to do and so I think sometimes we get the stereotype of saying you know what don't do this don't do that and I think that's a myth sometimes sometimes we do step out the boundaries and we go for it you know you're absolutely right because I can't tell you how many people looked at me with a side eye question mark when I told them that this past favor I went to Japan I go camping and I can't tell you right I can't tell you how difficult it is to get some my african-american friends you know camping with me you know observation now is a little bit different because we have a little more freedom and we see life a little bit different instead of the confined segregation kind of you know that social media in that way I think has been so eye-opening because we get see how other other cultures live not just yet other cultures but other cultures get to see what no you know no they don't really get to see it they get to see an idealized version see what we present of what we present to them exactly not anymore I think some of the younger ones are kind of turning into the TMI generation so with in with them yeah but the other ones you get on their social media but there's good things too it's interesting too because in some ways then instead of people wanting to be different they're seeing what they want to do and what they want to be like everybody else mm I don't want to raise my children with their culture let them know who they are but then also let them know they're not bound to the structure that society put on them so you can be whatever you want to be and still be proud african-american and still be who you are that's beautiful more when we return after this commercial break more every way woman uh you and everyone ah you and everyone Jerry Thomas are here to talk about a little gynecology 101 which you should and should not expect in your appointment dr. sherry you guys are a little scary you know that right gynecologist is always going to be scared we love you but you are a little scary lord we try to make it a little less Terry well isn't really why should women go to a gynecologist well of course when you become sexually active you want to start seeing a gynecologist and if you're under 21 your daughter will tell you mom I'm tired of seeing the pediatrician I'm ready to see a gynecologist now what I start out by saying is scary what should I expect especially on my first visit to a gynecologist what should I expect well you should expect to have your doctor talk to you about your history your family history and all the other things that your primary care doctor if you aren't seeing them yet will talk to you about your vaccinations your health history are you exercising are you eating well do you smoke they'll talk to you about that and then they'll ask you if you have any concerns any reason you specifically came to see them have you been recently sexually active and maybe you were worried you might have a sexually transmitted disease so I have a 17 year on a 15 year old and I don't believe they're sexually active but when should I introduce them to the guy a gynecologist have them have a pelvic exam or a pap smear that's a great question for most parents of children women that you wonder one of my little girls going to start being sexually active I'm sure you've talked a little bit of to them about sexual activity I have and they all see a pediatrician every year up until they're about 18 but there's a transition between the pediatrician and a gynecologist where you can ask your daughters gee would you be interested in seeing a gynecologist that means there's more that they want to talk about with the gynecologist and that's a great start but you know dr. Thomas there's illusion that the gynecologist only for when you're sexually active but we both know that cervical cancer and other things can come out of a pap smear and out of a pelvic exam right so they don't know about that so how do I talk to them about that well cervical cancer and abnormal pap smears are later in life almost women aren't going to have a pap smear before 21 okay so that you won't need to worry about if a young girl is having gynecologic issues a vaginal discharge or something or pediatrician can't help then they will refer you to a gynecologist but most girls between the ages of about 16 to 21 become sexually active and that's when they should think about seeing a gynecologist or if if their primary healthcare provider does pediatrics and also sees adult women that's a great transition they don't even have to make so when I'm at the gynecologist is there anything that I shouldn't share with you when I come to see you doctor is there anything I shouldn't share with you oh you should find a gynecologist you can share everything with okay because it's so important that you are able to tell that doctor everything that's how we help you if you are having an extramarital affair if you had an unwanted sexual experience we need to know so that we can help you right away now is there a certain age that I don't have to see you anymore then I'm done no more plastic clamps so there was a point when if a woman's had a hysterectomy that she doesn't need a pap smear but at 65 if she stops having has had pap smears are all normal she can stop having cat smears but a pelvic exam is very important we detect things like rectal cancers and other pelvic masses so I recommend you have a pelvic exam every couple of years the rest of your life whether you have a pap smear or not and how do I look for a gynecologist since I give you I'm giving you my heart how do I look for well that's a great great question well when you move into an area I'd ask your girlfriend's who do you see then I'd look online check the doctors credentials they're so many different evaluations of physicians where you can see if people like a particular doctor or not and it also tells you where we went to school and if we actually practice in that area for example is a gynecologist some of us are just general OBGYNs but say you need an infertility problem it'll give you that doctors credentials or an oncologist for a cancer or for pelvic surgery incontinence or prolapse that's what I do and you can see our credentials see what we treat and so in essence my gana company Ghana colleges is actually my good friend right dr. Thomas thank you so much for joining this in order to take care of others you have to take care of yourself stay tuned to every way woman we'll be back with everyday Fitness ah you and everyone you ah you and everyone coming up Heather is going to be talking to us about body blueprint I have no idea what that is do you find out right here at everyway woman when you start working with a personal trainer they need to do a whole body assessment our fitness expert Heather Benz is here to tell us about her body blueprint that she does with all her clients what is a body blueprint well for me it's the term that I give to the complete fitness assessment that I do with my clientele so for example not only does it involve a body fat assessment and a strength assessment which is common for most trainers but in addition I do a cardiovascular assessment of flexibility assessment a physical and balanced assessment and a functional movement screen to really make sure I can make the perfect program for each and every client so it is that like day one they need to do this with you yes it's the first appointment okay and and so what kinds of things do they need to do for you to assess all these items first show up just comfortably that's the key and then it's nothing to be afraid of it's nothing scary and it's nothing that it requires a lot of work and causes any pain or anything it's just me putting them through a series of movements so I can see how their body moves what's happening in each joint area so I can not only get them to their goal whether it may be fat loss or building muscle or training for race but at the same time helping prevent injury in the future because I'm correcting those dysfunctional movement patterns and the imbalances that we have from everyday life absolutely so I don't need to like cram on push-ups if I'm you know meeting here for the first time well not crammed on push us we may do some you know I mean I definitely have knee problems that you know and I'm prone to those back problems are those things that you can tell yes exactly based on when we do the screening and how your body moves into certain movements that I have you go through it's going to tell me what muscles are under active or over active and basically what that means is which muscles are firing all the time and other muscles are not hardly firing at all so that we can create more of a balance in that muscular system in your body so that we can put you back in one piece so you're moving properly and you're not causing any pain and hopefully no longer feeling the pain that you were before how much do your shoes men and you know your gate and all that well in regards to running it's extremely important to have the right running shoes for running because you have to get a gait analysis and that's exactly the word do you that's different not everyone knows that well you know cuz I my knee problems so I wonder about that you know do so when you're doing the assessment do you say okay you run a certain way you need to get a different shoe before I can even start working with you that's more on the running side in the side of doing the body blueprint and everything that's more when I'm having a client come to me for whatever it may be strength training sometimes is Reince training but then I send them to a running specialist that can actually do the gait analysis on them I can I can see the precursors of it but I actually let someone else do that who specializes in running shoes I don't specialize the running shoes but I get them there but so so that's not important with strength training - well you do want the right shoe okay but it's not necessarily one that you have to have your whole gait analyzed you just want a shoe that's stable so for example a lot of times I recommend a cross training shoe so not only is it stable and a forward and backward motion but also side-to-side and then that's pretty much what you need in the gym and how much you work with people as far as what they're eating in their nutrition all the time nutrition is a huge part of getting to any goal whatever it may be so I always give nutrition guidance to my clients because that's to be honest a majority of it sometimes because you know I know a lot of people who are like okay I'm working out so I can eat whatever I want like me as much chocolate as I want is there truth to that yeah that's true there are people that do that and to be honest when someone does start working out yes you can't splurge a little bit and that's part of life I mean I'm not telling my clients they can't eat anything that they don't love because then it wouldn't be a realistic but it's about moderation and you could still enjoy those little pleasures in life it's just about definitely using moderation but if you don't have your diet on track can you get the results you want still you can it's just gonna take a lot it's just gonna take a lot more hard work on the other aspect but nutrition is still a part of it okay because that's what I think about I'm like well it's gonna be you know like 20 more reps that I'd have to do to work out brownie but I mean is that how a plays out basically not necessarily no it's different with every client it depends on what your goal is it's kind of hard to say in the general terms but nutrition is a huge part of it but you still can get away with eating some of the good stuff okay and when you have someone how long does it take when you do the blueprint to get them on track to like where they can actually do the routine you want them to do okay well the blueprint itself usually takes at least an hour sometimes a little bit more because I'm really going into the history of the client in regards to medical history surgeries physical fitness history because between all of that and the results that I find that also finding out what is their goal because the goal is to get them to where they want to get as quickly as possible but at the same time I'm kind of help fixing correct at the same time and then we go into a strength program but the assessment itself is about an hour or so okay so you see you do it in conjunction you like fix them and they don't even know it sometimes that's the case all right well I like like your sound good so when you're thinking about working with a personal trainer you really want someone who is going to do a full assessment on you so whether they call it a body blueprint or whatever you know but full analysis they need to make sure they're customizing their workout plan for you we'll be back with more every way woman there's more to come with every way woman ah you and everyone you ah you and everyone ma so I'm here with Jacqueline Jacqueline you sent us an email and in an email you said that women over 40 are being ignored by the media why don't you feel you have to send us that email why did you have to take the time to write it well it's true because most fashion fashion ads and media focuses on youth youth youth so we kind of aged out of glamour at 35 where if we're being advertised to it's about the the appliances and the SUVs and the laundry detergent but a lot of us when we come of age when I saved me you hate your 30s and your 40s and in your stride this is when you want to really express yourself okay and then we're looking for representation and we we don't see it as often as I think we would like to okay so but why did you have to send me to email because I know you watch the footage we did tell why we created the show and when I read the emails like oh she gets it but why don't you take the time to write me the email what were you going do what were you thinking well I mean I personally freelance as a fashion model and I'm not because I'm 45 I don't get to do fashion pictures unless I do them on my own which I find absurd because I love clothes and I love the artistry of clothes and I love to express myself through clothes I'm like how come I can't see someone who looks like me in their clothing at okay so you wrote the email what was going through your mind cuz you told me you said I'm fabulous well we all have fathers look at you look at what you're wearing this is amazing we need representation so for example dr. ben berry from Cambridge University did an entire study on this 2,500 American and Canadian women and he showed them fashion ads with different models in the same Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress yes what she's famous famous wrapped yes I love that yeah yeah and so but the models was the classic 19 year old very thin caucasian model and then he had an older model he had plus-size model he had an ethnic model and he found that when the women looked at these ads and they're all the same with the beautiful hair and the beautiful makeup the artistry is the same when they looked at these ads their desire to buy the garment went up 200 to 300 percent if they saw a model that somehow represented them and he said the fashion industry this is his conclusion fashion history has it all wrong says fashion history thinks we want to be skinnier younger versions of ourselves so how do you feel when you see those ads and you know you know what our well to see so another woman that represent my age yes you can't you tell me you're fabulous but how do you feel how does it make you feel when you see another woman that's 19 years old when you know really you're trying to advertise so 40 year woman well I go to you beautiful but when I see them put Nicole Kidman who is much closer to my age in the ad I go oh look that's kind of what I would look like in those does it make you want to go out yeah because you're being representative so you feel like you're not being represented no it's it's not very it's getting better but it's not very common at this point right now a celebrity who's older is starting to appear and a supermodel who's older is starting to appear as women what can we do well we can call for it this research study called for it the Dove ads there was this massive consumer increase in dove when they showed the everyday oh yes and I think what's happening is the more that women voice and clamor for this the more brands will take notice and go maybe we should include them well you know as women we control the pocketbook we then control what comes in and out the house because we do shopping we make the list and we actually go out and buy it so kind of the the responsibility of shiftiness can fall on the woman she doesn't have to buy these products so as again as a woman in her 40s I don't feel like oh I'm gonna buy that because I'm 19 year old is wearing it we can't relate to her because that's your daughter's age exactly and and so I could and you've been there done that right so it's like I can see basically women especially above 40 they're looking at their granddaughter opportunity talk to an advertising agency about I'm over 40 I'm fabulous I want to be representative representing what would you say to them you know I would say it's real easy to make a young girl look amazing in a photograph in a dress because she has she has no curves she has no figure she has perfect skin but one what about you and I would say you know I feel like I'm I'm beautiful I'm mature and wise and I now want to express myself through garments that I can afford to buy which I could not afford to buy when I was 20 so the designers now I can go buy them but I can't see in the ads or on the runways how would I look in that dress Tom Ford you know Tom I know how did an entire runway show with women and actresses of all ages and he had them sauntering out in the clothes and and that's the moment I fell in love with Tom Ford her because he was talking to me okay well thank you very much for sharing your experience about getting over 40 and fabulous and don't go away we'll be right back with more I'm everyday woman [Music] every way woman gives back to the community go to every way woman calm to find out how you can match our donations of undergarments for needy kids thanks for getting to know every way well then this has been an every woman woman woman in every way hear hear I'm living my life living day by day [Applause] are you in every way woman I'm in everyday woman woman warmer in everywhere here yeah yeah I'm living my life living day by day hey are you and everyone woman [Music] I'm everyday woman woman warmer in everywhere here yeah yeah I'm living my life living day by day you