Build Confidence by Embracing This Uncomfortable Truth.

Duration: 6:04 1107 transcript words EN summary

Video summary

The video argues that building genuine confidence requires a fundamental shift in how we perceive ourselves, specifically by adopting the mindset that we are "the best" at what we do. This approach might initially sound like arrogance or bravado, but the speaker clarifies that it is actually a necessary antidote to the deep-seated feeling of unworthiness that often plagues us. We have been conditioned to view being "the best" as a competitive struggle where we must constantly exceed others to prove our value, which inevitably leads to a shadow side of inadequacy and guilt. To overcome this, one cannot simply try to stop thinking they are the best, as that merely reinforces the feeling of not being good enough; instead, we must reframe the very definition of what it means to be superior. The core transformation involves stripping away the egoic conditioning that ties self-worth to competition and dominance over others. When we redefine being "the best," it no longer implies that everyone else must be left behind or that we are in a zero-sum game. Instead, it means acknowledging an internal truth that there is no one better than you in your specific domain, while simultaneously feeling more than willing to help others rise to join you at that same level. This perspective eliminates the need for rivalry and replaces anxiety with cooperation, allowing you to see your own uniqueness without needing to diminish anyone else's achievements. In this state, the actions and accomplishments of others become irrelevant to your self-image because your sense of being the best is a permanent, intrinsic part of your identity rather than a comparative metric. Ultimately, the speaker encourages viewers to embrace their ambition not as a drive to conquer others, but as a way to fulfill their potential and acknowledge their own virtues and talents. You are explicitly allowed to tell yourself that you are really good or even the best at what you do, provided you have internally healed the competitive anxiety associated with those words. By journaling on this concept and reinterpreting ambition as self-actualization rather than domination, you can facilitate ease, connection, and a healthier relationship with both yourself and others. The goal is to reach a point where believing in your own excellence brings more flow and collaboration into your life, proving that true confidence comes from standing firmly in your own worth without needing to compete for it.

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I think it's really important that you think of yourself as being the best. Okay, and I mean that. That you think of that you see yourself in whatever it is you do with yourself or your life, that you think about yourself in terms of being the best. Now, part of you might recoil from hearing me say that, which I'll explain and I'll I'll I'll uh explain my reasoning around this. Sounds almost like bravado or a persona that we're buying into. Yeah, but I'll explain it. So, why is it important? It's important for our confidence, right? To start seeing yourself in terms of being the best at what it is that you do. So, how can we do this? Because there'll be a resistance to it because we have been conditioned to think about that term as being the best as a competition with other people, right? So, if the more and you may have lived with that, I'm trying to be the best, I'm in this competitive thing and I'm trying to exceed here and do this and achieve that and think of myself in those terms. And if we're in that mindset, the counterpart that comes in with that is the shadow of unworthiness and I'm not good enough. Right? So, we Here I am telling you to think of yourself as the best. What we need to do with it is see, you can't you can't then tell yourself, "Okay, I'm going to drop this idea of being the best." Because all that happens is effectively you end up back in the bad room or the shadow where you feel unworthy. Now, you might be dressing that up and saying, "I'm okay, I'm fine." But really that means the same thing as not quite good enough, usually. So, what we do What we do with the shadow and the defective stuff and I'm not good enough is we we question it and we just let it go. Right? Or you can take out of it the golden shadow that Jung talked about, which is my vulnerability. Right? My vulnerability is my strength. It's It makes me human and relatable, for instance, right? But with this persona of being the best, we look at, okay, what's the what's the corrupted egoic version of that that I may have been living from up to now? And that involves looking at the fine print underneath. Well, what does that mean due to all the conditioning I've had in my life? What does it really mean if I'm trying to be the best? And we'll find that it means being better than other people, being in a competition, being dominant over others, right? Winning at all costs, etc. etc. That's really what that means and that's why it doesn't work and it leads to us going back into this guilt thing. But what we can do is we we don't have to drop that concept. We take it for ourselves and we reframe it and we make it mean something completely different, right? So, and because there's so much conditioning around it, it's very very hard thing to let go of. So, you're not actually asked to let go of it. You're asked to take it for yourself and reinterpret and change the the definition or change what it really means. So, how you can start to think of yourself as being the best is this is the first part of it. It's like if you're want to think about this hierarchy of things, right? You exist here. You're at the very top of it. This is how you should see yourself. Now, does that mean that other people must be down here for me to to be the best? No, what it means is this is where I exist. This is where I see myself as and I am more than willing to help other people come up and join me at this level. There's no competition in it at all, but this is where I am. Being the best effectively means acknowledging to yourself that there's no one better than you in what you do or who you are, right? But there's no competition in it. You're actually more than willing, in fact, you prefer to have company up there, right? That's much healthier way to see it than if I'm here, well, some what if somebody goes there or I have to keep these people down here. That's the conditioning, the egoic we really have from this. But if you can see yourself as this where I exist, I'm trying to bring other people up here to join me. That feels like a part of what it is to be the best. There there is no competition. Really. You start to see yourself as unique really in this regard and start to see through being the best has nothing to do with other people in fact. It's just a permanent part of how you see yourself and the story you're telling yourself about your life. So other people and how they act and behave and what they're doing and accomplishing and not accomplishing becomes irrelevant. Right? So in in terms of building confidence >> [snorts] >> should you try and be the Buddha and forego any sense of being good at it or being different to it? No, you're allowed to acknowledge I'm really good. I'm in fact I'm the best at this. But internally you've worked with that concept and you've healed that concept and you've taken all the the anxiety and stress and competition out of it. So the point where it actually now is working for you and is facilitating more ease, more cooperation, more connection with other people rather than the competition etc. etc. So keep that in mind. That can be a thing to do a little bit of journaling about. You're allowed to tell yourself you're the best. Right? But what does it mean? That is the the key issue in this. So this would be um this would be a project to look at if you're if you have some of that ambition, right? Certainly if you want to feel better about yourself and there's nothing wrong with ambition. Ambition you could you could say another word for ambition is fulfilling my potential or acknowledging my own virtues and talent in life. So hope that's useful. Keep it short and keep that in mind. You're allowed to tell yourself you're the best. Just look at the definition. Take care. Talk soon. Bye-bye. >> Mhm.