Video summary
The video explores the complex reasons behind why many men struggle to treat women well today, arguing that this issue often stems from a lack of positive male role models during childhood development. The speaker highlights how boys frequently grow up without seeing healthy examples of manhood within their households, particularly in cases where fathers are absent due to abandonment or death. In such scenarios, the burden of raising children falls entirely on mothers who become stuck with no support system, leaving sons without a clear blueprint for masculinity. This absence is not limited only to single-parent families; it also extends to situations involving divorce and institutional environments dominated by women, where boys may receive implicit instructions on how to emulate femininity rather than develop authentic male identities from an early age.
A significant portion of the discussion focuses on the societal structures that reinforce these dynamics, noting that institutions like education are heavily female-dominated, meaning many men do not encounter a male professor until college. The speaker suggests that this environment inadvertently teaches boys to perform "woman impersonation," creating internal chaos and dysfunction when they later try to navigate adult relationships. He posits that while femininity itself is not bad, the essence of feminine energy can be chaotic, and placing that chaos within a man without proper guidance leads to destruction rather than balance. Consequently, men often appear emotionally detached or over-emotional because they are trying to manage conflicting signals about how to behave, resulting in behaviors that seem out of sync with traditional expectations but actually reflect deep confusion caused by these early influences.
The conversation further examines the symbiotic relationship between genders throughout history and across cultures, emphasizing that women play a crucial role as muses and inspirations for men's actions and life choices. Whether consciously or subconsciously, men often dedicate their lives to achieving status, wealth, or specific traits because they are trying to satisfy female desires or gain approval from the opposite sex. The speaker illustrates this with examples ranging from young women seeking wealthy partners in South Africa to shifting beauty standards regarding facial hair, arguing that women effectively dictate the direction of male behavior by setting cultural tones and validating what is considered desirable. While acknowledging the positive aspect where men build businesses for a girl they liked in high school, he also points out the negative outcomes when boys chase validation through destructive means like prison or defending unruly individuals just to appear attractive to peers.
Ultimately, the video concludes that while women hold significant influence over male development and societal norms, there is an urgent need for men to step up as teachers, leaders, and role models within their own communities rather than relying solely on external validation from dating markets. The speaker urges a shift in perspective where men pursue success primarily for themselves and their families instead of optimizing specifically for what women say they want at any given moment. By recognizing the shared responsibility in maintaining balance between masculine duty orientation and feminine chaos, society can foster healthier relationships and reduce the dysfunction that currently plagues many households. The core message is a call to action for men to reclaim their agency as role models while acknowledging the profound impact women have on shaping male identity without losing sight of self-worth and personal integrity.
Read the full video transcript
And that's like goes off of why so many
like men don't know how to treat women
in today cuz like where was your
example? Like if your father abandoned
you and left you with your mother
>> now of course like your mother is
looking at like the bad guy cuz she's
stuck. She's stuck with you. It's like
and your dad just left and it's like
where did he go? What happened? And it's
all falls on the mother when it really
does take a village. It's because how
are you going to learn what manhood is
if you don't have that example in the
household with you?
>> Yeah. No, that's a fact. That's a fact.
And I I also don't think it's like
limited to single moms of, you know, of
men who left or dead dads or whatever.
Like we also have to understand like 70%
of divorces are initiated by women. So
some of these women are leaving and
taking the kids with them. Like that
that's a reality too. And on top of
that, a lot of the institutions that are
concerned with raring children are
female dominated.
Like women dominate education, you know,
so it and I've talked to a lot of men,
including myself, that that they didn't
meet a male professor until they got to
college. Like all their teachers were
females. So, we've been getting a lot of
like instruction, whether overt or
covert, on how to do a woman
impersonation. And I think that that
clash or that that dysfunction in our
minds, I think is actually what's
creating chaos. Like when people talk
about like ys, ys are feminine boys.
>> Hey, you know where you at, bro? What
y'all say? You know where you at, bro?
You on my way, bro. You got to check in
when you come right here.
>> Hold up. If you ain't nothing about 16,
17, you about Sunday age,
BRO.
>> RIGHT. And and it's not to say
femininity is a bad thing, but like I
think the essence of femininity is
chaos. And I think the only people who
are really attuned or tasked with
managing that chaos is women. Because
when you put feminine chaos in a man,
you get destruction,
right? and and and and it's out of
balance. So, I think ironically, like as
much as we critique men of not being
emotional, I think what we're seeing is
men who are over emotional and who look
like they're not emotional, but I think
it's actually in the other direction.
>> Why isn't it more male teachers? Like,
why don't more men want to be role
models for the youth and the generation?
>> I'll give you two reasons. The the first
reason which I think is the most
important or the most impactful. I I
don't think women give yourselves you
don't give yourselves enough credit.
Like I I think women innately understand
that you guys are the taste makers. You
you guys establish what culture is. You
guys validate like if if if I wanted to
be an artist, if I don't have a female
fan base, I'm not going to I'm not going
to make it, right? Women literally set
the tone. I think that extends into the
kind and caliber of men that we see as
well, right? As we continue to see more
videos and clips and men have real life
experiences of women telling them, "You
have to make x amount of money."
In South Africa, young women are under
hunt for [music] rich men.
>> The men are ATMs. I get to take take.
But these women called fle queens are
under attack.
>> Fle queens are like a virus.
>> You have to have this amount of status.
You have to have, you know, this amount
of whatever. We optimize for those
outcomes. In the 80s and in the '90s,
that was a drug dealer who could be like
Nino Brown and get the Mercedes or the
or the BMW and the chains and the whole
nine. A teacher salary is not satisfying
what women are saying they want. a
coach's salary.
>> What women want is about WHAT YOU WANT
FOR YOURSELF. If you do it, do it for
the ladies. I know. Now, we want you to
do it for you. What if What if we don't
What if we want you to do it for you?
What if we need you to do it? Like, we
need role models for the community. We
need black men to step up and be
teachers, be leaders,
>> be role models. Like, we need y'all to
do it instead of playing video games.
>> Listen, I I understand. I guess the the
larger point that I'm trying to make is
men and women in every single culture
across the world throughout history have
a symbiotic relationship and the role
that women play whether you guys are
conscious of it or not you guys are the
inspir you guys are the muse you guys
are the inspiration
and that is for better or worse right so
when you see men who dedicate their
lives to you know building this business
because of a girl that he had a crush on
in high school that's where That's
positive. But in our community, as an
example, when you see boys who end up in
prison, who end up in the ground behind
defending a unruly woman or behind, you
know, trying to become attractive to the
girl in high school, that's part of it
as well.
>> First day of prison, they say pick
[music] out the biggest, [snorts]
baddest, meanest looking convict in the
courtyard and him up. That way, the
other prisoners know not to with
you.
I wish people would stop beating me up
on their first day of prison. Yeah, I
know I'm big. I look bad at me, but I'm
here for mail fraud, dude. I don't even
know how to fight. I only got this big
because I'm a stress eater. [music]
Mama says the only thing bigger than my
stomach is my heart.
>> We can we can say I think a lot of us
say, and myself included, you should
want it for yourself. But I think when
you zoom out far enough and you look at
it from a anthropological lens, the
reality is women of every single
culture. That's why you guys are
considered goddesses. You are who we
come through. You are the portal through
which we come to come through to like
live, right? So satisfying you is at the
forefront of our subconscious whether we
realize it or not. And that starts with
the mother and then that extends to
crushes and and then it extends to the
entire world as we become men and we're
duty oriented. So I say all that to say
I think women have a larger
responsibility than they realize in
dictating the kind and caliber of men
that we see. Because the truth is
whatever, as an example, a couple years
ago, a lot of women were talking about
they wanted men with beards. And every
I know who could except me cuz I
can't grew a beard. And now it's
switched. Women are saying they want the
goatee to cleanly shave and I'm like,
"Yes, I can do that." Right? So we can
we can pretend we could pretend it's not
the case, but y'all dictate the
direction that we go as far as seeking
desire. And it's true for any other
animal species as well. Hey, if you've
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