ASIA's Most TABOO Subject...

In this episode of the AsianRebel podcast with Crystal Ren, today we are going to be exploring a taboo subject. Why are all Asians, but particularly Chinese people, still so awkward when it comes to talking about the topic of sex? In a lot of Asian cultures, the second sex gets mentioned as a topic, people get real weird and real quiet. So today we are going to be delving into why Chinese culture in particular even more than other Asian cultures, let alone Western cultures, still seem so old school when it comes to talking about sexual topics or sexuality and why Asian men struggle to be seen as sexual beings in the West. I hope you guys enjoy. >> Welcome to Asian Rebel Club. Today David and I are going into one of the most taboo topics in Asian culture, which is sex. Are Asians actually sexually oppressed or did Asian culture just push sexuality into shame, fantasy, secrecy, performance, and status? People love to say Asians are not sexual. But when you look around and it gets very confusing because Japanese have the entire porn categories and Indians give the world Kamasutra. Chinese fork lord is full of fox spirits, adoption myths, Korea built a massive beauty and romance industries. And thus more Asians are constantly having anity crisis around desiraability. So what is actually going on? Are we less sexual or are we just more split between public and private fantasies? David, why are so many Asian cultures have such modest public faces but such intense private fantasy worlds? I mean the easiest answer is just that's the way the societies develop in the east and the further up north you go the more repressed it is you know what I mean to Japan Korea China you know and I just think that that's what they optimize for like I don't think that they think the public expression of sexual things is appropriate and they maybe view sex as a little bit more of an activity but not an identity whereas like if you look in for example like the Mediterranean you know Italy Spain, like Latin American cultures, I think sexuality is almost like that's like number one or number two things somebody might tell you about themselves, you know, and then I think in Asia, specifically East Asia, it would be like near number 50, you know what I mean? Like they would be like, "Oh, you know, I'm a I'm an engineer. I don't know." Like they just wouldn't think themselves as a, you know what I mean, like their sexual Pokemon to the world. They wouldn't even like have thought of that. >> But with your logic, the Nordic people will be very sexually repressed, right? But then we all know that the Nordic Scandinavian girls really care about sexual compatibility with the man. So if you know after the first date or whatever and they're not really having like a good time sexually, they usually don't go on right. I think that's what uh usually happens. So like with that logic, why can't Chinese and Japanese I guess Japanese a bit kinky, but why can't Chinese people also be the same? Like why is sexual compatibility not a big component in compatibility? English Chinese culture >> would imagine it's just because of social engineering that it's just for the stability of society. People decided that that wasn't an important match, you know, because like a lot of couples in China, it's more like based off other styles of compatibility. Just sexual compatibility is not one of the type the top [laughter] priority compatibility, right? You can be compatible on a lot of levels like FINANCIAL LIKE >> WHY IS THAT WHY IS that not important? Like cuz seriously, we're talking about that. It is so important in so many different cultures. Why is it not as important as Chinese culture? There's got to be a reason why it's so important in other cultures. You know, >> I think that in my opinion, Chinese society is so built on the denial of like primal like let's just assume like a Freudian like id and ego things are correct, right? Let's just like operate under that assumption. like the suppression of those things I think is almost like the one of the core tenants of Chinese society that is not you know like other cultures they may look at the id and the ego and be like okay let's jiu-jitsu it or let's guide it or let's work it to like motivate us but then I would say that Chinese would be like let's just suppress it and then on top of that there's Buddhism too which is also has to do with the the letting go of desire >> how about confusion >> from what I know confucious was really not into primal sexuality like I think he executed like five people in his whole life cuz he was like the security leader of like Lua which was like Shandong at that time and I believe three of them were sexy belly dancers from the west. You know what I'm saying? So we talking about Confucious and every culture in East Asia accepts Confucianism at a different level. Like Japanese and Koreans they tend to like bow to each other and a lot of hierarchy and rank but like when it comes to sex for sure the Chinese went hard on the listening to to kung >> Yeah. Okay. I'm just really curious why do we think that we need to govern sex in the Confucious culture, you know, East Asian culture. Like why can't we just let go and accept that's just part of humanity? >> But that would be so primal. That would be so primal to do that. I just think that, you know, it's so like >> what's WRONG WITH BEING PRIMAL? [laughter] >> WHAT'S WRONG with >> I don't think there's anything wrong with it. And I think that they probably should allow Chinese to be more primal, but I can see why they didn't too. Like I can see why they didn't, but it came at the sacrifice of individual lives. It it came at the sacrifice of like individual dopamine and feeling like you could be who you wanted to be in totality in every aspect of your life. But for sure that Chinese people is all about the denial in some, you know what I mean? Like you wanted to be an artist, but you became like a hardcore quan or like a STEM person. You know what I mean? Like a like an account. It's just like it's just in us. Whereas I think Western people would be like, you know, chase the artistry. >> Yeah. Yeah. But do you think it's going to change though? Because now, you know, if you look at Gen Z and if you look at modern China, people are obviously more succumb to what they truly want. >> Yeah. I mean, do you see that amongst like your peers and stuff like that? Like I would imagine it's changing as people kind of get out of like survivalist mode, you know, like when you're like just trying to survive and just get your money up. You're going to throw aside all the the primal desires, but maybe once you achieve it, you you get back into it. >> Well, I think it's two things, right? you're talking about like micro level or macro level. So I think individual level it's very different cuz money scarcity abundance and sexuality. I think it's not really directly correlated to each other. It's not like, you know, you get richer and you're all of a sudden sexually open cuz it just it's in different parts of your brain, right? So, like growing up in China, the first romance movie I watched with my mom was Titanic. And you know, there's a lot of new scenes in the movie and my mom need to cover my eyes. So, like I couldn't really see what that was. Um, and we also didn't have any sex education growing up, right? It's not like, you know, in high school your teacher will be like, "Oh, you know, you got to wear a condom or whatever." Like there's no nobody ever taught us all these things. So like I don't even know actually where I learned it from. Like I have no idea. Like I think that we just to each our own. We like learn it somewhere but then like definitely not official channel and even today I think the sex education is severely lacking in China. I'm not sure about other countries but you know definitely not as developed as it is in the west. Um it's slightly concerning just because you know obviously you kind of need to know these things to like not get STD to kind of understand what is safe, what is not safe. But I think people just have such a taboo around it. They don't even want to talk about it. You don't definitely don't get that education from a lot of parents because they also don't really know how to educate their kids. So the entire thing is really hush hush and I think that even if you get rich your mentality around that topic is really hard to change unless you truly want to change yourself because you understand the importance of that. So I think that that's the micro level versus you know like macro level as a country gets richer will that will that increase its desiraability. You look at China China's gone a lot more rich in the last 20 30 years do we get more sexually attractive? No that is not the case. I mean we probably have more engineers now right than before. You know what I I think that maybe say let's just say give it 20 30 years we also start to have a lot more like K-pop stars like Jackson Wang you know like then maybe then maybe we have a shot at like the global stage of like being deemed as sexual and then we felt like that is permitted we can be that person and be cool right so I think that there's a lot work to be done if you want us to have that as a micro level as well I >> I guess like what do you think that Asians as a whole but let's identify it specifically as Chinese that are the most sexually repressed out of everybody because like you said like Japanese they have these hyper compartmentalized outlets. Koreans I feel like they well cuz Korean dudes they really are corny man. They'd get after it from what I see and then Southeast Asia is different because it's less confusion. It's more tropical. So they kind of have like in my opinion some quasi Latin vibes always just if and due to just climate but then like what are Chinese people missing out on or what have they been missing out on for like 5,000 years? >> We're talking about saf shotty. it like leaks into so many different things, right? The porn consumption. I'm not sure if China is lacking behind, you know, if it's not lacking behind that tells you that people still have desires, right? They might do less of an act or like they might talk about it as, but doesn't mean that they don't think about it as, right? So that's the the matrix perhaps there's so many more matrix to look into. We're going to if we're going to talk about what they think about it. >> Yeah. And I think that there's a strong morality around what is allowed, what is not allowed to do in the Chinese culture. So one thing that's very interesting is when I was growing up, I always thought in China, it's like they tell you this is something you should do. You grew up in a Christian church, right? We as a country had a moral guideline like that. So you don't spit on the floor. There's like very strict guidelines to be like what kind of person you need to be. We need to understand, we need to like remember all these things. But I always felt like it was a little bit unnatural because I just felt like it deprived us an opportunity to think about what is important to us individually. And when you are in a collective culture which is very shame based, which is very much like collective value based, you know, there's a very little room for you to be like maybe this is not bad, this is good because your brain was so early and a lot of things are just not allowed to talk about. So it's like if you wanted to even get into it, you need to have a in, right? You need to be like, "Oh, I've seen this somewhere." Or like people talk about it. I can talk about it, but nobody's talking about it. Everybody's saying it's bad. How are you? You don't have a in, right? So it's it's same with Japanese culture. They have this kinky culture like where I thought like even though in public it's not allowed, but at least you have Love Hotel, you have AV, you know, like all these things that people can get exposure to and then because everybody is consuming these, right? So it's like even though like in public it's not allowedish, but they know it's allowed, right? So I think that's very different from a a culture that is just always based on public like collective morality. >> Yeah. I I kind of tend to think of like not in every aspect, but Chinese are kind of like the fundamentalist Confucians. You know how like there's different levels of like Islam, you know, there's like fundamentalist countries and more like moderate countries like Saudi Arabia or something like that or UAE. I just feel like uh Chinese when it comes to certain aspects of like censorship or primal desire repression, they're like the fundamentalist Confucians, you know what I mean? Whereas like Japan and Korea, they're confusion too. They bow to each other a lot more. They adhere to hierarchy, but then >> they would like loosen up on the on the more primal like humanistic side. >> You know what I mean? Like I just think that China is like it's like triple like you know what I mean? where is and then they had a cultural revolution and now they have a lot of censorship. So it's like you're layering like censorship on censorship on censorship on censorship. That's a lot different than like layering like America is obviously like freedom on freedom on freedom on freedom or Amsterdam even more than that, right? But like you you you just look at it like layers of a cake. If you layer like three four layers of like not allowing people to to get sink their teeth into sexuality, it's like it's gone. It's not a complex. You know what I mean? It's just like it cannot thrive. Like there's no way It's also I think it's just a very outputbased culture where like everybody is supposed to be productive. I think that is very much ingrained in the East Asian Chinese culture where you got to be useful to the society, you got to be useful to the group and uh sex is inherently useless, right? People don't ascribe it any value and so it becomes just something that you got to if you really wanted to be good at it, you wanted to understand it, you got to just do it yourself. And also in a very collective culture like doing it yourself is also much harder than you know in an individualistic culture. So my question for you is why do men chase sexual validation even when it becomes emotionally empty? >> I mean long story short I just think guys like it a lot like they just like to eat a lot of different food and even if they have one thing at home and you know you love it it's nutritious but you just got to eat something different. And I think guys will sometimes just eat some gas station food or just something from the convenience store too like or they I'm not saying they will but they have that thought in their mind because it's just something different and they just want to eat something different all the time. >> My question is why will they still chase sexual validation even when it's empty? So you're saying that like basically it's just separate for them. That's why they don't care. >> I'm sure you must have heard that sex for guys is not that emotional. It can be, but it's like not really. You know what I mean? For women, it's like a like a mind, body, and soul thing. But I think for guys, it's just like, man, I mean, they'll put it in a pie. Like, that's a whole concept of American pie. Like, a guy will put it in a pie out of the oven. That's crazy, right? Like, I don't think girls are going to want to have sex with like Android cyborgs in the future. Like, the girls will probably have the android cyborgs like watch movies with them or talk to them about their feelings. >> Well, I don't know. There's already dodos. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. not the same about like the you know what I mean like the Tesla robots and like you know whatever they're making in China like I'm saying that the women are going to have completely different uses for the um humanoid androids than guys will I just think that that's just we're wired like the guys are going to be doing all types of stuff with them and the girls are going to be more like having relationships with them. >> Oh okay. We'll see. [laughter] I mean we'll see if that happens. you know, like what is the use case, etc. But I don't think you can have a relationship with your dildo. So, you know, >> a dildo that's attached to like a robot that looks like the guy that you like. >> But yeah, but I think uh Okay. So, but what I'm trying to say is that the entire industry of Dodo doesn't have emotions attached to it, right? It's just like a physical act. So how do you explain that if you say that sex to woman is like a mind body first soul level of integration? >> I I never thought about that questioning [laughter] like I guess like the the female gadget stim private area gadget industry but I just think that when they like when women probably hook up with a guy it's like something different happens than when the guy hooks up with the girl. That's what I think. I mean, that's like a common that's bro science or whatever, but there there has to be something with the oxytocin receptors and the way that this the thing the pherommones like mel in the air or something like that. I just think like women like But that's good though. I'm not saying it's good, but it's just different. I think it's different in the biology, right? Like there's something different about the way guys process sex because they think about it all the time and they need to jerk off all the time. And there's girls who don't use dildos, but there's almost like no guys who don't jack off. >> Yeah. I would say I think the answer is probably like if there is object like if there's a human being attached to the experience women might experience it differently than say a man versus if there's no like human attached to the experience and just act itself. It's probably not a lot of difference, right? But then like we probably just have one layer more when there's humanto human experience. As an Asian-American man, when did you first realize race affected how people saw you sexually? >> Probably like kindergarten. It sounds crazy, but I >> kindergarten. >> I used to like this one Swedish girl because I'm from Seattle. Seattle have a lot of Sweden. >> Kindergarten. You had a crush on people when you were five years. So, >> I've been a horny dude for a while, man. I was a horny boy. >> I think we can all see that. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Like I used to like this one Scandinavian girl, she had like the elf look, you know, like with the blonde eyebrows and everything like really from like Iceland type look. And then yeah, I just knew that she didn't really like see me that way. But when you know when you're growing up in these like kind of like my elementary school was like more white so it's just me and a bunch of white kids and it was like the white girls they don't really see you like that especially at that time I think it was different now because to me so much of what women like is like imprinted on them through media or the first guy they kiss or first guy they hook up with it like sticks in their brain so much more years old five years old. >> Yeah. I mean, I might not just not have been cool enough or good-looking enough at that time cuz you're right, like th those things don't the racial preferences don't get imprinted till like 11 or 12. But anyway, what I'm saying is like I just realized that like Asian men in the west and even sometimes in Asia, it depends on what circle you're in. It's not really viewed as a sexual being. You know, like if you think about sex as a carnal desire, I guess black guys would be viewed as some type of like pitbull and like white guys might be like anywhere from like a German Shepherd to a golden retriever and then like Asian men would be perceived like a Pomeranian or like a maltise. Some of the smaller guys even like Chihuahua. And if sexual desire is driven by something so carnal and so primal, of course you're going to go for the animals that have bigger bite strengths, more muscle textures. You know what I mean? Like that's just so I just think in the west Asian guys got put in that a Pomeranian maltise you know sort of like cute smart dog category but not sexualized. >> Okay. I think it's an individual choice. I do think that just from my own understanding I felt like Asian guys have a little bit of a hard time just because on one hand you got to be a nerdy like intellectual engineering kind of type and on the other hand it's like you got to be that like whatever to attract to have that sex appeal to women. I think we'd probably talk about like these two things are a little bit more integrated, right? Like you don't necessarily need to be one way like a cool jock kind of guy to get girls even if you're like super smart and like people acknowledge and they also like intellectual sexiness, right? >> Yeah. Cuz sometimes the girls they like reading like reports and stuff too like it's you know what I mean? Like there could be a girl in China who's like wow he read that report so good. I love reading reports. We go together. >> You know what I mean? Because like the archetype just is produced, you know, that stem centric like intellectual. It's just like it's a probable outcome of the system. >> Yeah. Well, if you look at, you know, the Silicon Valley entrepreneurs made like Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, even though they're white, right? They they also attract certain kind of women because of their brain power. Geeky, that probably has le less to do with your racial profile, have probably has more to do with your physique and how you carry yourself and, you know, like your size and all these things and your demeanor. So I think that Asian guys are a little bit disadvantaged just physically, but as we all know now, Chinese guys are really tall in China. So the future might be very different, right? They might have brain power as well as physical power in the same time. >> I think the guys are definitely going to be taller and they're going to be way buffer. But it depends on the coaching from the fathers at the end of the day. If the fathers don't coach everybody to navigate the West sexually, it's just probably still not going to happen. Because even I know some of those really tall buff Chinese guys, they kind of still are like kind of more laid-back when it comes to getting women and but they have such like a strong physique and like so much height and like maybe a sculpted face that they can still get enough like deal flow just being that way. You know what I mean? Like they don't need to go out and like knock on doors and like be do hard marketing. >> Yeah. >> I just think there's just something that's not in the Chinese guy is different. Like a tall buff Korean guy, I think is going to try to get after it and smash as many women as he can. Japanese, it could go either way depending on how geeky they are. But a Chinese guy, even if they got those stats, to be honest, is they just the lowest probability they're going to be a dog. Like they're just not hunting like that. It's just a it's has to do with a machismo or like like you said, like what is validation to you? You know what I mean? Like I think that guy would just be like, "Yeah, I'm valid because I am tall and I'm strong. Like look at how the women look at me. He's not thinking like he's thinking to that level. He's not thinking like, "Yo, I got to get with like 10 girls this week to spread my chi." >> Well, >> I'm not saying there's none that are like that. I got a friend I I don't want to shout him out here, but maybe I will. My friend Jack. He's definitely like that. He's really tall. He's a model. But like I'm saying, >> shout out to Jack. >> Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to Jack. But like I just think a lot of guys even with those like quote unquote could do it, they just they just kind of soft. >> Yeah. I do think that maybe there's a little bit difference in you know different ethnicity groups in China as well. I think Han tend to be very intellectual versus if you look at like the the Manurians or like the Mongolians, you know, like I think that they're definitely a lot more primo. They're also a little bit more proud of it, right? Like I think for Han people, it's almost a insult if you're telling them that they're like animal, they think they're above it, that they should be valued for the intellectuals, especially historically speaking, intellectual is like the highest class in China. I don't know whether it's also come down to the fact that people are already satisfied with the symbol of sex instead of the sex itself. If if they are in that society they already know they're the top of the rank. It's like does that really matter for them to satisfy their sexual desire like all the time or like the the fact that they know they can deem to be the top right like that's already enough. And uh to to be honest with you like when a society is developing so fast and as we're just talking about it it's such an output heavy society everybody's working all the time you're building businesses building AI startups like do you have time to have sex all the time you know you got to choose your battle do you want to use your big head you want to use your small head you can't choose both sometimes you got to sacrifice so I think that that's also like a part of reason probably why they don't care about it as much >> yeah so do you think that like Chinese people are missing out on a big part part of humanity by kind of like pouring everything into like let's say like life is made out of like five different cups, right? We kind of Chinese culture typically takes one big picture of water and pours it into like money, education, maybe some sort of accolades or status and then like maybe like if sex or like personal things is one cup or like whatever like a community like they don't really pour a lot into those two other cups. They would rather overflow the other cups as opposed to holistically pouring in at like level seven all around. >> I think it's a little bit of unfair question because in order to answer that question, it's like the person almost need to understand that what are their options, right? So like if you are born into a society that by default doesn't show you a ton of other options, you don't know like even if you were to be the winner of that society, you don't know if you will be happier in a society where there's more options in front of you and I can choose and pick more. So there's a lot of biases in this equation just simply because like when you're suppressed and you choose to be suppressed, it's a different kind of freedom than say if you don't even know you're suppressed and you you because of that you cannot choose. It's hard to say whether they're definitely missing out, right? Sexually suppressed like they don't talk about it as much. You know, obviously objectively speaking, they're missing out. Do they know they're missing out? Do they know they're missing out? Therefore, they want to try and they're like, "Oh, this is a better life than I used to have." or be like, "I don't really want it. I want to go back." You know, you never know until they they're given that option and they execute it and they reach their own conclusion. A lot of people wasted their potential because they don't really know what they're missing out. >> Yeah. Do you think that that's why so many Chinese women, I mean, Asian women in general, but I want to say Chinese women maybe the most like don't like they're not really into Chinese guys. Like I see a lot of obviously it's not all right. It depends on what you value and what you can get in the community. But a lot of the more sexual Chinese girls, I would say like in the way it might be seven, eight out of 10 of them go with non-Asian or go with a non-Chinese guy at least. >> I don't know cuz I don't think I'm like ever something like that. In Singapore, for example, these girls call SPG. So what means is that basically like girls who are only interested in white guys or like they date white guys, right? I always find this a little bit weird because just from a genetic perspective, you should be attracted to people who are genetically more similar to you. Genetically speaking, they should be attracted more to Asian guys because, you know, Asian guys are genetically more similar to them. So, I felt like a lot of these desires based on social status that somehow they accepted that in a certain society or like maybe white guys have, you know, higher social status. I mean, that's one example. Well, another thing I think is that some girls they do find, you know, being with Westerners liberate them a little bit more. So, let's just say if you're like a super suppressed like a Chinese girl, you're being taught that you got to be good your entire life. You can be anything other than study hard, work hard, and have kids and whatnot. But then then you you're with with a westerner and the western encourage you to find yourself, encourage you to have hobbies. I mean, like that is to me just a very different way of living, right? So it's like they kind of maybe they they want to reject the culture a little bit and then in order to do that they find this portal for them to latch on to. Um and so that that has nothing to do with the social status is more like they just want to to have a different culture. Um and so I think there's a different reasons in it. I think Chinese people also score much higher surprisingly I think it score quite high in open-mindedness. if you have more open-minded or like your culture permits you to have a more of open mind because if you think about it a lot of Japanese women most I think most of them are like housewives so you don't really have economic freedom right you probably don't see that much right because you don't work and you don't necessarily know any other things other than your housewife bubble like that is very different from say to have international career and understand you can go to this place you can be with that person all these different things so all these go together. I think that the fact that Chinese girls are open mind international, they got to explore all these things help a lot with that choice. >> Yeah, for sure. For sure. So, do you think that Chinese guys bitter about that? That the girls can like go around the world and then they they >> You tell me. You tell me whether you guys are bitter about it. >> Uh to be honest, I'll tell you this. I think that Chinese guys, it's like been so uneven our whole lives, we can't even be bitter about it. That's like a short guy being bitter about being short. You know what I mean? Like if you've been short your whole life or like a [ __ ] your whole life, you got to just deal with it. You know what I mean? I think that that's the situation of like Chinese guys. It's almost like when we look at the fluidity that the women have in the western world or even just globally that we don't have socially or sexually. It's almost like something that is so accepted it's not even worth talking about when we are together that it's it's like when something is like I always say this like when something's like nine levels of difference it's like when when something is close that's when the tension is there right because people are like yo I can just get there when something's like nine levels like I never see Asian guys complain about not being in the NFL like the NFL is full of like guys that are like 300 lbs like pure muscle right I never see them complain about it because they don't think it's even possible right but us Asian guys, I wish I could get in the NBA cuz they care about the NBA and they feel like some Asian guys did be in the NBA. >> Yeah, it's more close. I think that the gap between Asian Chinese female sexuality and Chinese male sexuality is so big. I'm like, don't even guys can't even talk about it. >> But but do you think Asian men expect loyalty from Asian women because they feel sexually accumulated in the West? >> I think they did at some point probably like in the 1800s or 1900s, but like not anymore. Not anymore. I think that it's just so like foregone. I think Asian guys have almost accepted that we have placed ourselves sexually as a worse version of a white guy. I'm not saying that we are, but if you look at corporate America, there's only really like it sounds unpertain level in corporate worlds, right? So it's like who's more dominant? >> More Indian. More like Indian. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's three. There's three. There's three. Okay. So if you count India as the South Asian or whatever you call it like so I'm saying there's only three groups in the corporate world like once you get past a mid level it's like white Asian Indian right so it's like I'm saying that I feel like the white Asian guys have positioned themselves as a more like beta less alpha version of whites so if a girl is like corporate minded and she only has sex with corporate people like people part of that ecosystem Asian guys already slotted themselves in a different lane at the bottom of that totem pole whereas like I would say like other groups they might it just exists in a completely different totem pole. So I think that's like the thing where I'm just like [ __ ] I don't know if that's what we picked and then we got slotted in the third position but we got in the totem pole we wanted to get into then I don't know how people can really be mad about it but it's it's it is unfortunate. I do see anger you know what I mean? Like you see some everybody knows that what happened. >> Yeah. Well, also this survey on Tinder saying that for women the top is white girls and Asian girls and the bottom is black girls and for men is the top is I think white guys and the the bottom is Asian guys. So with that ranking it's like Asian guys should go with black girls. But that doesn't happen, right? That should just >> Yeah. Yeah. You don't see it happen to be honest. You don't see it happen that often like but not that I'm I've never seen it like I I know guys who dated black girls. before like half Cuban. Here's the thing about sexuality. You can't even get into questions of realizing sexual uh actualization until you get enough repetition in. And I think a lot of Asian guys and Asianized Asian girls that are not with the Western crowd, they're not even going to get enough reps throughout their life to develop a sexual identity. Not only did people not give them permission to have the concept of like am I like OS this Greek goddess of sex or Aphrodite or you know Cleopatra or whatever Greek >> mythology Roman mythology they have all these like sex gods and [ __ ] it's like that's more easily relatable to a fox to a witch fox in Chinese folklore that's like it doesn't even make any sense I just think that you need so much like sexual therapy and sexual therapist and sexual psychology to your point like IQ coaching to even get to the point of like what is Chinese sexuality? Like I can't even tell you that because we haven't even gone through that metamorphosis phase from like caterpillar to butterfly yet. And then it's almost like if you're still the caterpillar and everybody's like, "Yo, what are you going to look like when you a butterfly?" I'm like, I have no idea. It's still a caterpillar. We don't know. I >> think that we are just a very cerebral race where like we tend to live our lives from the neck up and then we don't really embody our life, right? Like but I think that sex or or just kind of like having a little bit of sexual education about yourself. It could be a very good experience because it really frees up your life force, right? You become more confident. You become more creative. All these things are linked to having that life force feel in your body like having sematic experience. >> Does it come from the female orgasm? Is that what you're referring to? What does like awakening your sexual self even mean? I think it's just like understand how your body functions. I was a terrible dancer. I just didn't really care about it before because I thought just like a lot of other Chinese people all these like artsy whatever stuff is not important until like I went to body and I took some DJ classes and started dance and I felt like there's a huge difference between having the satisfaction from the knowledge I learned something new or I solve this technical problem what not versus just be in your body and feel like you can feel the joy directly. in your body. That's is a form of somatic experience. Dance and sex is another form of somatic experience. It's all about not using your brain but like just just like to explore your own body, right, as this entity of sensations. It come back to our argument of but you also don't know how that feels, right? So in order for you to make a really good decision about what kind of life I want to have, you you need to experience all things like logically speaking and then pick and choose what you want. So I think that like from that perspective if you wanted to live a full life, this is a very necessary experience to be like how can I do this because this is not just a reproduction. I think that a lot like China these days actually started to also move from sex as a reproduction to recreation. So they started to also see as entertainment. Um, and I think that's a really good change. I'm not sure what's going to happen in the future, but like I think the one of the reasons why it was such a turn up for people to even explore that area was because sex like historically speaking like doesn't matter whether it's in the religion or in certain social contract was always viewed as a task and you can't have pleasure, entertainment and tax wrapped together. >> Yeah. I also think in China like it was more viewed as something for the elites to indulge in. You know what I mean? Like the elites like if you look at some of the paintings from like certain dynasties they were more or less sexual but it was always like only the elites could have it like none to your point of like the bottom 90% of society. So I think that was the aspect but I guess what you're referring to in my opinion is like from what I know your prefrontal right which is your logical mass stem brain and then you have your amydala in the back of your cranium which is your lizard brain which all animals have an amydala too and then you have your chakras which is obviously up for debate right like lower chakras tend to be more sexual or more primal >> the root chakra yeah >> yeah like what 808s like that's like what Kanye was always talking about like 808 drums like stimulate your chakra and stuff like that and Like I guess what I'm saying is what you were talking about like DJ and dancing with the deep that's just so unche because you're getting in touch with your amydala and you're getting in touch with your chakras. >> You know what I'm saying? But it's like you if you Chinese are like almost all like 97% like maybe they put like the amigdula and 97% in the prefrontal. >> Okay. So again depends on what you value but I think that there's different forms of intelligence. So your body has its own intelligence as well and your mind has it intelligence as well. And once you are more into att tune with your body um you start to have more developed intuition and you start to understand yourself better because like I think the nervous system was developed your brain is much more of a recent u developments than your body right your guts and all these has a lot to do with your primal desire and you know you as an animal instead of a intellectual being. So if you're only using your profonttoal low, you're basically writing off a lot of your ancient wisdom. And why would you want to do that? Like that's available to all of us, right? And I think that you can't really say that this is useless if you don't even know what useful is. You know what I mean? Like if your definition of you know certain things is useful, it's because somebody else told you that. How how could you know they're right? Why don't you also explore for yourself to see what is useful for you? I think also depends on how you want to live your life. I always think that if you want to be really competitive, you needed to be yourself because nobody's going to be able to compete with you better than you. And if you're just going to play everybody else's game, well, you're just going to be one of many. But if you know your own game, you're going to be one of one. So why don't you want to explore more of yourself and be like where can I be the most competitive because I can beat other people in this arena and not that you know what I mean? I felt like that's just more strategic but in a higher level but obviously not everybody's like that and that's why they spend all their time running a rat race and kudos to them right like if if everybody's as strategic that we're also playing a harder game but I do think that in a collective society if that's what they're taught that's what available to them but which also means you know like there's a lot of waste in the potentials if all they want to get is societal approval right that's enough right you don't necessarily need to explore all these things because it is short-term wastm of time, but longterm I believe will really set you up for a victory. >> Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think Asian Chinese guys probably have a lower ratio guys that are like exploring the full radar map than women just due to capacity to do so. And then also, but then I also thought about it and I was like, man, you know, if you look at Chinese culture, the way they tap the amydala is like more through food or more through gambling. Like, you know, googling and food, it will still tap your amydala cuz those are primal things that create short-term. >> I have a theory. I think people who are foodies like they really love different kind of food. They're very adventurous and they also like gambling. These people have a lot of sex drive. I just think all these things are like it just means that they love to go with their sensation, you know? So like sex is a sensational, right? So if you're always living your brain and you're like I just like to explore some theory, you're not going to be able to like be a huge foodie and be big big gambler. You're not going to have impulse. So I think that like that is one one way I judge a person you know to see what is important to them. >> I agree that all those things could fall under hedenism but I will say that I see a lot of like married people lean into like fashion or design or food or gambling as a way to channel their sexual desires that they can no longer explore. >> Yeah. So it it it I agree with you. But also what I'm saying is like sometimes when you kill the sex desire, it could reroute through other outlets or like other release steam valves. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. But it's just a form of life force, right? And then so it's, you know, however you wanted to route it. In China, it's like, you know, a lot of guys will have mistresses and whatnot. Somehow like having mistresses in China is just like a lot more acceptable. Maybe they don't have a developer porn industry like Japan or whatever, but maybe they have more outlets, you know, the other way >> like porn magazine or like porn rental stores where like guys go in to relieve themselves. That's never going to be exist in China. I think that that's why guys got to go to Japan or they got to go to Southeast Asia to to to see something more outside the lines. Japan is very interesting because I just felt like they really kind of niche down the sex like fantasy and fetish. Like every lane is institutionalized, right? Like they have like so many freaking stuff and every single one of them you could probably pick a place and go to get your needs met. >> Yeah. >> Who knows? Maybe that's going to happen in China, you know, like in the age of robotics and >> but if you know, this is a quick aside, but if you look at Japanese historically, they were always the loosest of all the Confucian Sino cultures with sex, it would be probably Japan and Vietnam would be the more like looser ones. And then uh Korea used to be super strict and now has turned into like American hookup culture. And China's just almost forever been strict. Like I don't [clears throat] I don't think there was a ratchet time in China's history ever to be honest. Like if you really look at it and that's why China has the image that it has, right, of being like this hyperproductive but not necessarily like super fun that a lot of people would want to fully adopt the whole system from. >> Yeah. And I think that sometimes, you know, if you change a object, for example, I wonder if there's a difference, for example, if like a Japanese girls with a Japanese guy versus a Japanese girls with a black guy, you know what I mean? It's like if they see you as more of the sexual object, will that change how they behave around you as well? Right? like you know if a Chinese girl is like not around a Chinese guy maybe they also feel like they're more permitted to be somebody else that they're not maybe they feel like because it's a Chinese guy and they will be judged if they're like studying they don't want to be like that. So like I felt like maybe there's a little bit of a censorship that's going on like in in group as well. >> For sure. For sure. I used to be like so frustrated at the situation of like Asian guys when it came to the sexual marketplace value, especially in America. But like the older I get and the more I understand about how much goes into it, like you said, like even women feeling like more permissible to to tap into their lower chakras with like people who are not from the same sort of like repressive tribe like at least that aspect of society. I kind of just realized it was just a really logical outcome. >> You know what I mean? Like you take this like hyper brainiac race or like just culture of people, civilization of people and you put them in the west which is kind of a weird mix of a lot of things. It's kind of wild, kind of brainy. It's kind of like warrior kind of beta. It's like all these [ __ ] things like mixed together at a 10 out of 10 level. And they just end up getting slotted into this like sage quant, you know what I mean? At least the men us, we get slotted like sage quant like foreigner almost like Spock, you know, like Spock in Star Trek. He never had girls. >> Yeah. I think that also just the role that a female plays in sex versus man, it's very different, right? Cuz for a guy, you got to be very proactive. You got to lead the act versus a girl is okay if they're also just submissive. And I think that because Asian guys and girls are share a lot of very similar characters such as we don't have a lot of body hair. Physically, we're a little bit shorter, smaller. We are more mildmannered. all these things like sexually favor women and not guy, right? So that's why I felt like women are hypers sexualized and guys are just not sexualized at all in the west. >> Yeah, I do think there was a lot of neotony. Neotany is like appearing to be a baby whereas like that plays really well for women. If you have you're a very neotonist male, it generally doesn't play very well in a global marketplace because they like really striking sort of dramatic facial depths and things like that. So I think that that is a under like when I will say when the woke crowd in the US talks about like Asian male representation and anti-misogyny laws and all this like stuff like that. It's like yeah that stuff is real but it's just like if you are perceived as the Pomeranian in the dog part and then there's like all these other dogs like a German shepherd as an option a Rottweiler a pitbull you know what I mean? There's like all these other dogs and the Pomeranian is the best behaved show dog. They got the best like score at the Westminster dog show, that's just not necessarily sexual in the West. >> Yeah. >> Like if we were in the East and everybody's a Pomeranians and the Pomeranians are going to like rank each other differently. They'll just be like, "Oh, who's the best show dog?" Cuz we're all show dogs. But like maybe these little Pomeranian females, they want to try out some bigger dogs. You know what I mean? Like that's that's it's as easy as that to explain sort of like why I guess Asian women in the west would have such a much wider range of like sexual experiences typically than guys would. >> Well, but you know to be honest like so we're talking about dick size, right? And if you're looking at like Indians dick size obviously they're Asian too. They're on the smaller size. But if you see how many of them have interracial relationship with white people or like other you know girls from like you know outside of their race you will understand that like it's not it's not about penis. It's not about the dick size. Do you selfidentify as as palm or you sort of identify as a bigger dog? Right. So like that self-perception selfidentity and how you carry yourself is probably just as important as your physique. >> I know what you're saying. It's not it's not it's both. is both because a lot of stuff is built on like positive back loops too. Like >> you know what I mean? Like without the actual reps going your way and like material positive outcomes very difficult to develop a selfidentity. Like if you tell a smaller Asian nerdy guy who never got treated sexual his whole life. Yeah. Just see yourself like a James Bond like Latino lover like Alex Rodriguez archetype is you know what I mean? See yourself as Ronaldo. It's just not going to work. You know what I mean? Like Ronaldo is Ronaldo. Alex Rodriguez is Alex Rodriguez or Ryan Garcia or whoever it is. You know what I mean? Like it's very difficult to project that. But to your point, I do think that some Indian guys really believe that about themselves. >> It has a lot to do with your self-belief. Jakma Ma is super small and tiny and not very good-looking, but he was able to get out with like the most pretty girl of his college class and also was able to persuade six, seven people for them to put money into Alibaba and also work for him to start Alibaba. I mean, for somebody with that physique, that is very hard, right? So, like there's going to be something else that's also going on. And I felt like that is probably something that like Asian guys will need to develop in the future because you just cannot change whatever you cannot control. And the only thing you can control is anything beyond you know your existing physique and how other people might perceive you, right? Separation of victim mentality cuz blaming Asian girls and like whatever that's just not going to work, right? They're going to do whatever they need to do to get an upper hand in this game. So like that's not productive, right? So, and you also cannot change your your size and whatn not that you're born with. So, there's going to be something else. And I think that that's probably needs to happen in the future, whether from like a country level, a race level, or just from an individual belief. >> Yeah, for sure. For sure. I mean, I just think that if we look at the macro outcomes like across like 100 million people, probably the shifting of like masculinity or sexuality is not changing. I I don't really see it shifting for females. I don't really see it shifting for males, but I think within that there still could be a lot of guys that, you know, figure it out more. I think the younger guys, they're figuring it out more and then like people are more open to them. You know what I mean? Too it's it's tough to say because for Asian guys, especially Chinese guys in the West, but even in China sometimes, it's almost like they're so far out of the game that I think that they don't even consider being in the game. I just think that Chinese male masculinity is so like there's such a history of like Unix like chopping off their dick to like rise up the imperial court hierarchy like pyramid uh ladder structure and stuff like that. It's just so extreme that a lot of people cannot like grasp it. And I think the more research I did the more the outcomes of Chinese males in the west sexually really like made more sense to me. >> Yeah. Well, I think that maybe the conclusion is that just as a race, as a school of thought, right, if you're talking about confusionism, it's like we just value so many things more than sex, your sexual desire, and we're able to control or suppress that to to in order to achieve the rest of the stuff, right? Judas is a perfect example in that. Um, but I think the question is, can we also balance it? you know instead of suppression and completely getting rid of dep prioritizing one thing can we also just be more balanced as a human being and realizing maybe there is more wisdom we can get from the balance as well and then we we don't need to go like one way that extreme to to be good at it >> I think if anybody think that might be the number one thing that AI could help Chinese people figure out is how to have some release valves and use the amydala and the lower chakras more I would say I fully agree with you there I I don't like Part of me is like, I don't know how it's going to play out, you know what I mean? But like, I know that since Chinese especially, we're not going to go to sexual therapist in IRL, maybe the AI can be, you know what I mean, like a good enough transformative tool. >> Yeah. [laughter] Well, we'll definitely see that all the robots are coming from China anyway. So, we'll see how many how much kinks we have from the invention. >> I don't know. I don't I always think that like to a lot of people in the world and sometimes even other Asians, if I was to be completely frank, I think that Chinese feel the most alien out of everybody. We just had a dinner with a Korean girl the other day and she was just talking about how she feels like China was a bunch of aliens and a lot of Korean culture came from ancient China, but like she felt like Chinese were just so different from the rest of the world. You know what I mean? And I just feel like that is pretty true, you know? Like I'm just like, "Yeah, nah, it's different, man. It's whatever it is." like all these things we're talking about and all these like hopes of like maybe blind spots that could fill in. I'm like I'm like I hope so but I don't know cuz I we control it. >> We we're just very detached. Right. The number one thing I would say when I'm talking to a lot of my Chinese friends is that I felt like they don't really take a lot of things personally because they they almost have you know how when you do meditation you the first thing you got to learn is to be observer of your own thought process. So it's almost like you're observing how you think about things instead of just thinking about things. And I think that a lot of us like naturally embody that character. So that you constantly even if you thinking certain way you know if another person be like hey but you also thinking that way they also were thinking that way because they don't take their own thought process as seriously as like you know being identified with it. And I think that a lot of times, you know, like if you're looking at the US like workism culture or be like, you know, are you're Republican or you're like Democratic like that that like dichotomy. It's almost like people just identify with whatever party of but like what if you can also change any time, right? And that one thing that I learned growing up is that like we're always taught to think about one thing in two different ways, right? The good way, the bad way, the in and the yan. And that's like the toism as well. We never were encouraged to think only one way and it's like the extreme and the the goal in the end is always to achieve the balance of views and like to understand one thing from different angles and I think that that is very much like helps you to have that detachment of things and as a result of it you can say we're more robot lag but I also think that because of that harmony is easier to achieve because people tend to not be that extreme end of the day and I think that that's also just a higher form of intelligence if you were to ask me. >> Yeah. I mean, I think like I'm trying to think of like all the episodes that I saw. Did you ever watch Star Trek? Like there's all these episodes about Spock like trying to feel something. >> I'm not like a I'm not like a geek like you. I think Star Trek is for a lot of >> is like based off Chinese people. Spock is like a mixture of Japanese and Chinese culture if you really look at it. Like he's referred to as Chinese in the first couple scripts of Star Trek. and he's half Vulcan and he's half human, but the Vulcans are like a hyperrational like zero emotion race in Star Trek and Spock is like a hybrid. So he's like how there's all these episodes of Spock like trying to find his human side or like there's this other robot is like I don't know if he's half human called data and like data is like >> they're like these like cyborg like helpers to the you know the white guy Captain Kirk who's like you know your very foolardy but like valiant leadership very typical you know white guy and then yeah I feel like that's what this whole discussion has been about like is or is data you know the Vulcans going to like develop some human traits. Yeah, we well see. I mean like then you will definitely see something changing in the sex department. >> Yeah. Yeah, it does. Like I know we could have we could have got really into the nuts and bolts of uh sex, but I think that like the overarching thing that governs sex is like how in tune with the sexual side of like humanity are you? >> I do think that if Chinese females more attune with their own sexuality, they can also be more feminine. There's a lot of feminine energy that is being suppressed just because a person is not liberated in that sense. >> Chinese girls treat the most like guys out of all Asian women. >> Yeah. Yeah. Just a very high control culture and you see that in women and men and you know different ways but I think that like in order to have you know liberation sexually you kind of need to like forgo need for control and that's very very hard for Asian Chinese women. Right. But it's so funny because if you look up like Asian sexuality, there's so many topics that tie back into this. Even Chinese developing soft power. If Chinese are more frontal lobe loaded than other people, that means their content and their soft power will never appeal to them because it's never thinking on the same wavelength as everybody else. Do you know what I'm saying? Operating on a completely different geometric plane. So of course they cannot develop soft power because the content cannot even like seep into the other people's hearts or minds. But I I can tell you this, they are developing it because then they start realize it matters for their money. They realize that the traditional way of making money to like engineer everything to make a best product that's just not enough anymore that is into their bottom line because everybody's super competitive. So now they're, you know, exploring the new frontier because like they realize the soft power make more money and then actually not just making them more money but that would determine who's going to survive in the future, right? Everything was made in Japan but then like you know Toyota became Toyota. There's a lot of other Toyota adjacent companies die because they don't have that soft power. So like I think it's the same thing is going to happen in China as well. It's just a repetition of history like now they're more incentivized to develop that soft power. Doesn't mean that they don't have it. It just means that they never use that muscle. They never needed to use until >> Yeah. No, I agree. I agree. And it's it'll be really interesting to see what it looks like, you know? I think right now a lot of Chinese stuff is going viral in the West for just feeling so different, you know? I think Japanese stuff in the '9s, it felt like really quirky and off-the-wall and like really like cartoonish in a way that people had never seen before, but like the Chinese stuff that's going viral on Instagram right now, it's almost just like >> different. Yeah. Well, thanks so much on another very spicy topic with me today. >> If this conversation sparked something in you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you are building a more true life, not just more impressive, we would love to hear your story. 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