Video summary
Many individuals struggling with anxiety and OCD find themselves repeatedly stuck on a single word: "almost." Phrases like "I almost died" or "I almost ruined everything" become common narratives that feel undeniably true in the moment, yet they represent a cognitive trap rather than reality. When these thoughts are treated as facts instead of stories, they create a cycle where fear triggers intense physical sensations and dread, prompting the individual to perform compulsions, rituals, or safety behaviors to escape the discomfort. The brain then incorrectly credits these actions with preventing a disaster that was never actually going to happen, reinforcing the belief that without these specific interventions, catastrophe would have occurred.
The core problem lies in how this "almost story" hijacks the natural process of emotional regulation. In reality, anxiety and difficult feelings are transient; they will rise and fall on their own even if no action is taken to stop them. However, because the individual does not get to experience the feeling dissipating without intervention, they miss a crucial lesson about the temporary nature of their emotions. Instead, the compulsive behavior gets the credit for averting doom, which fuels anticipatory anxiety for future situations. This sets up a pattern where the fear experienced on one day creates worry about the same disaster happening again the next day, keeping the person in a constant state of dread and preventing them from building the resilience needed to break the cycle.
Breaking free from this loop requires recognizing the "almost" narrative as a story being constructed by the mind rather than an objective fact. The first step is to mindfully observe the process of how these gears turn, watching the movie get made in real-time without immediately reacting with fear or compulsion. By seeing the mechanism at work, individuals can create space to choose a different response, such as practicing exposure and response prevention, where they allow the feelings to rise and fall naturally. This approach is not about instantly believing everything differently but rather about recognizing the pattern of hijacking and consciously deciding to take a brave leap of faith by letting the experience play out without saving behaviors.
Ultimately, changing this deep-seated belief system cannot happen simply by listening to explanations or reading books; it requires direct experience through repeated practice. While understanding the logic behind the "almost story" is important, true recovery comes from the difficult work of facing fears and learning that nothing terrible happens when one stops performing safety rituals. It is essential to be patient and kind with oneself during this process, acknowledging that taking a different choice before fully believing in the new perspective is itself an act of courage. Only through consistently watching these feelings rise and fall without interference can the brain learn that the "almost" disasters were never real, allowing for genuine healing and freedom from the grip of anxiety and OCD.
Read the full video transcript
People that struggle with anxiety and
OCD often get stuck on one word, and
that word is almost. I almost died. I
almost made a scene. I almost lost it. I
almost snapped. I almost ruined
everything. Sound familiar? If you give
me about 5 minutes, I'll explain why
that word keeps coming up, and why when
you treat it like a fact instead of just
a story, you can wind up stuck. Here's
how the story of almost actually works.
You get triggered. Anxiety spikes. OCD
comes rushing in. Fear hits hard, really
hard. You feel dizzy or dread or disgust
or nausea. Your heart is pounding. You
feel vulnerable. You feel uncertain. You
feel a sense of dread or doom. You are
certain, because everything inside you
tells you this, that something terrible
is going to happen, either immediately
or at some unknown point in the future.
So, what do you do? You do what you've
always done. You compuls. You ritualize.
You save yourself. You perform an escape
behavior. You call your safe person. You
do anything you can to get away from
that really difficult feeling. And sure
enough, you do get some kind of relief.
The air starts to get let out of the
balloon. And then the almost story gets
written. I almost walked into a
nightmare, but I narrowly averted it.
And what gets the credit for averting
the disaster? The compulsion, the
ritual, the safety behavior, the escape,
the tapping, the ice packs, the lavender
oil. But that's not right. So, here's
the problem with that cycle that repeats
over and over. The almost thing was not
actually a thing. It was never going to
happen. You did not almost pass out or
almost die or almost lose it or almost
ruin your entire lives or almost ruin
your family or almost cause World War
III by not wiping your counters enough.
None of that was ever going to happen.
What was actually going on is that you
had some big feelings. Your anxiety or
your OCD got triggered, and it made you
feel a certain way. Then you took action
to act on that feeling, and sure enough,
you were able to make the feeling sort
of dissipate. And then you think that
the action that you took gets the credit
for the feeling dissipating, but that's
not correct. That feeling was going to
dissipate even if you did nothing, but
you don't get to see that lesson because
the almost story kicks in and anxiety
and OCD take the credit for inventing a
disaster and then saving you from it and
repeat the next day. Remember that that
lesson that the anxiety would rise and
fall on its own without any intervention
is a core principle. It's one of the
things that the recovery process rests
firmly on. You need to be able to see
that lesson and the almost story blocks
that lesson. You think you actually
saved yourself from some certain doom by
doing the thing that you did and so you
never get to see that that feeling was
transient and temporary and didn't have
any real connection to the real world.
And when we're dealing with anxiety
disorders and OCD, we want to
intentionally trigger those difficult
feelings as often as we can so that we
can watch them rise and fall on their
own. Exposure, the trigger, and response
prevention. We don't do the saving
thing, we still wind up noticing that
our feelings change. When the almost
story hijacks that process and runs it
off the rails, you never get to have
those reps that you desperately need for
your brain to really learn that lesson.
Now, there's another layer to this. The
almost story doesn't always ruin the
experience you just had, it also sets up
the next one. It appears in the form of
anticipatory anxiety. Since you were
sure that you narrowly averted some
disaster on Tuesday, you're going to be
really worried about signs of that
disaster on Wednesday. This is what
keeps you in that elevated state where
you dread going into any situation where
those bad feelings might be triggered.
Your OCD might try to hijack and take
over or your anxiety is going to spike
and go through the roof. The almost
story on Tuesday creates the oh no, what
if it happens again story on Wednesday.
So, if you're stuck in that anxiety and
OCD cycle and you are watching all of
the podcasts and reading all the books
and seeing all the social media stuff
and you're just not sure how to break
that, this is one reason why because the
cycle is fueled by the almost story. So,
what do we do about that? Well, the
first move as always is to see it. If
you can see almost as a story and
mindfully watch that story get written,
watch the movie get made, watch those
gears turn, then you give yourself some
opportunity to maybe take a different
action next time. If you can see that as
a story instead of taking it as a fact
because you've learned to sort of
mindfully watch that process play out,
then the next time it happens instead of
taking the saving action by ritualizing
or compulsing or tapping or getting your
lavender oil or your ice packs or
calling your safe person, you might
recognize, "Oh, this is that moment
where I have to let this rise and fall
on its own. I have to roll the dice,
take a chance, be brave and let it ride
so I can learn from this." Now, let me
be clear. You don't have to just
automatically start to believe
completely differently just cuz I'm
telling you this in this video. Nobody
can do that. The best you can do is
start to recognize the process. Oh, I
see why this is repeating. I see how
almost is hijacking me and I see how I
have to watch for that and then make a
different choice that leads me in a
better direction. But, you have to make
that different choice that leads you in
a better direction before you believe
that I'm right because you can hear
everything I'm saying in this video or
you can watch the full version of this
podcast episode and get it on a logical
standpoint, but when you are triggered
and all of those big feelings come
rushing in, you are genuinely afraid.
That is not just in your head. That's
real fear. By choosing to see almost as
a story instead of a fact, by watching
that process play out and picking a
different response that teaches you
something valuable, you are taking a
very brave leap of faith. That is very
difficult. It's hard to do for the first
couple of times and it's hard to do
consistently. So, you got to be nice to
yourself. You got to be patient. Just
watching this video or listening to this
podcast isn't going to change that
belief. Only the experience will. So, if
you want to know more about this,
episode 353 of the Anxious Truth podcast
is linked in this video description
below. It's about 20 or 25 minutes on
this topic instead of a short little
summary. If you want to know more about
this, you want to hear more about the
details or the particulars, check it
out. I hope this helped. See you next
time.