“81% Of Women Said Yes. Only 58% Of Men Did.”

some interesting differences between the sexes. So, I've been researching sex differences. I found some spicy ones. Your guy friend is attracted to you, and he thinks that you're attracted to him, too. So, a study of Americans finds that in platonic couples, the men are far more likely than the women to find their friend sexy, and far more likely to think that she finds them attractive, too. Indeed, a man's assessment of how much his female friend fancy's him matches how much he fancy's her, and it is unrelated to how she really feels. So, shock horror, men are prone to wishful thinking. Also, there is a uh well-understood failure of cross-sex mind reading, the uh male overestimation and female underestimation of attraction, but your guy friend is attracted to you, ladies, and he thinks that you're attracted to him, too. Nearly half of your guy friends are trying to sleep with you as a woman. So, William Costello polled 527 heterosexual and bisexual people and asked the question, are opposite-sex friendships ever truly platonic? 81% of women said yes. Only 58% of men said yes. So, women were three times more likely than men to say that their friendship was purely platonic. Half [gasps] of guy friends in the platonic friendship are trying to sleep with you. And this is why dudes, when their girl friend says, you know, he's no, he's just nice. He's just >> [sighs] >> I'm sorry, ladies. We we understand how that works. We understand how men's minds work, and you understand how women's mi- minds work, right? But not only are guys more attracted to you than you are to them, they think that you are as attracted to them as they are to you. And you don't know either of these things. So, I uh That's an uncomfortable one. There's double standards over infidelity. So, according to recent polling, both sexes think it's worse for a husband than a wife to have an affair, which is sort of the opposite of the traditional double standard. So, 53% of men say it's always morally wrong for a married woman to have an affair, but 61% of men say it's always morally wrong for a married man to have an affair. So, 53% of men say it's wrong for a woman. 61% of men say it's wrong for a man. 56% of women say it's always morally wrong for a married woman to have an affair. And 70% of women say it's always morally wrong for a married man to have an affair. The What's interesting here is both men and women judge men more harshly for infidelity. And women judge both men and women more harshly. Like, what's that? 9% more? So, 61% of men say it's wrong for a man. 70% of women say it's wrong for a man. 53% of men say it's wrong for a woman. 56% of women say it's wrong for a woman. So, I mean, women are more sort of enforcing and judgmental on this, generally. Mhm. Might not be that surprising. But, uh I don't know what that says. Spicy. Romantic relationships matter more to men than to women. So, this is from Steve Stewart-Williams, who's got a new book out. He's coming on the show very soon. Romantic relationships matter more to men than to women. Stereotypes say it's women who care more, but this time the stereotypes are wrong. A new paper in Behavioral and Brain Sciences assessed that very question, and researchers found that, among other things, men strive harder to establish romantic relationships, they fall in love faster, they benefit more from relationships, depend more on their relationships for social support, are less likely to initiate breakups, suffer more in the wake of a breakup, and take longer to get over their exes. So, I wonder how much of this is wrapped up in the fact that men don't have social support structures outside of their relationship in the same way that women do. Typically, women have a broader uh and tighter support structure of friends, and a lot of the time when men get married, they get rid of their social support system and just sort of adopt the wife's support system. Her friends and the husbands of her friends become his friends. And then, if they get divorced, those friends go with her, not with him. So, not only does he lose a wife, he also loses his social support network because he let his atrophy. This is kind of typical. But, they fall in love faster, uh strive harder to establish romantic relationships, benefit more from relationship. I think all of this is like pretty normal if you were to look ancestrally. Why not? Like, women have got more choices, so men need to work harder to do it. Women are always going to be able to get a replacement, and men are going to struggle more so. So, they're going to take longer to get over. They're going to be more worried. They suffer more in the wake of breakups. They're less likely to initiate breakups because the chance of them finding somebody else, they depend more on their relationship for social support. All of these things make complete sense, especially when you look at it ancestrally. But, anything that denies male privilege is usually treated as kind of abhorrent or or blasphemous. And I just think it's it's cool to highlight some of the ways that maybe things aren't super rosy for guys. Or So maybe some stereotypes are turned sort of back to front. Not calling women bad or men weak or men more moral or anything like that. It's [ __ ] interesting. All right. Married men and women disagree on how much sex to have. Women typically believe their marriages have about the right frequency of sex, whereas men wished for twice as much sex as they were having. This suggests many couples adjust the sexual frequency to the lower rate that the wife desires. All right. Women typically believe their marriages have about the right frequency of sex. Men wished for twice as much more. That means that there is a disparity in what people want versus what they're getting for each partner. But look at which partner it defaulted to. It defaulted to the woman, not to the man. Now, that's not a bad thing, right? You might say it's much better to have to to like run the speed of the race at that of the slowest person as opposed to like dragging them along. I There's definitely a difference between someone who doesn't get to have sex that they want and someone that has to have sex that they don't want. Obviously, but it is interesting that there has to be a negotiation that goes on here, and men are sacrificing on average 50% of the amount of sex that they want. And it's sitting at around about the right amount that women do want. It would be interesting to see how many of these women would want even less sex but aren't prepared to say it because they know that that partner wants more. That would be really interesting to work out. Also, it would be interesting to work out if women want more sex, but they're just scared of telling researchers what they truly believe, maybe because they think that there's more judgement around women being sexually open or something like that. But and a final one here, which is actually nothing to do with sex differences, but far fewer people are made for polyamory than think that they are. You know, polyamory is hilarious because the community is basically 5% genuinely ascended, emotionally hyper-intelligent communication masters who've got nervous systems like a [ __ ] glass lake. And 95% insatiable hungry ghosts who have convinced themselves that they're the former. This is from [ __ ] Fuscious that me and George [ __ ] love on Substack. He's so He's so funny. Even just the name is brilliant. Uh polyamory 5% like guys on the right with the the Jedi master huddle up and 95% spiritually bypassed bead-wearing fedora hat shawl Burning Man like hungry ghosts. And I think in my experience this is really true. And the problem is that the people who are in the 95% who can't get it right and aren't built for it and just keep on trying more and more and more until in the hopes that that's going to fix the problem have mistaken themselves for the former and used the success of the people who've got the amazing nervous systems and can handle it as the justification for why they keep going. But they are not the same. Shock horror. A quick aside, you've probably heard me talk about Element before and that's because I've started every single morning the same way for the last 5 years now, which is a cold glass of water with Element in it. Element is an electrolyte drink mixed with everything that you need and nothing that you don't. It's a science-backed electrolyte ratio of sodium, potassium, and magnesium. No sugar, no coloring, no artificial ingredients. 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