800k Q&A - Diary Of A CEO, Iman Gadzhi & Body Positivity

no one cares what you're doing nobody cares about you every single person is completely wrapped up in debt on lives when you walk into a room no one's looking at you when you drop a glass of Coke down the front of your top no one cares no one remembers there is nothing more liberating than realizing how indifferent the rest of the world is to what you're doing you are the center of your own universe and you basically don't even exist in anybody else's that should be the best antidote to social anxiety that I can think of Hello everybody welcome back to the show it is an 800 000 subscriber q a episode and has around about 700 000 of you will be familiar with this means that I ask for questions from Twitter and locals and YouTube community and Instagram and there were way more than I'm gonna have time to get through today but we've bundled them together and I'm going to try and get through as many as I can before we get into the episode I do want to give an announcement that I am going on tour I'm going to be doing live shows later this year and you get to choose which cities I go to if you go to Chris Williamson dot live you can enter the city that you live in and we're just going to use that information to help root the different locations that I'll go to to do the live event I absolutely can't wait to put everybody into a room together uh my imposter syndrome around why am I stood on stage in front of hundreds of people is going to take a little bit of work to drop off before this happens but I really really really excited to do it and you guys get to choose where I go so go to Chris Williamson dot live put your city in and also you'll find out first when show dates and locations and tickets are all announced as well let's get into it Jackson Pekin my dead end Factory job pays 120 Grand but it is depressing how would you make the leap to quit think about how good you are at doing a job that you hate and now think about how good you would be if you were doing a job that you love like really what you're doing is you're exchanging sanity for time and it's that's the cost right like sometimes sanity involves lots of time sometimes it involves lots of cognitive effort sometimes it involves you being depressed or unhappy and you could basically see exchanging money for sanity as well if I get a more enjoyable job which pays me less money it Nets out at the same because think about all of the coping mechanisms that you're probably going through in a desperate attempt to put up with this job you might be training less you might be going less outgoing you might be spending more time on your phone you might be turning to other drugs like weed or nicotine all of those will fall away if you were to switch jobs and you would probably also be much better at what you do all the thingies nine what did you think about the response to your diary of a CEO Instagram reel yes very interesting the Fiat 500 Instagram club uh took offense at some of the things that I said on that podcast reel um every single person that's ever listened to Modern wisdom knows exactly my position when it comes to the dating market like I am in the eyes of the manosphere so blue pilled I'm a cook and in the eyes of Guardian readers so bigoted that I'm a misogynist like if I split the difference between those two so be it like I I really loved that episode I I thought that the Reel was spicely edited together but it did what we need to like Steven's team has a like a very quick cut style the way that they put their their shorts together and yeah the the comment section spoke for itself it's a bunch of you know a lot of them are women who maybe haven't been exposed to this stuff before but I can't go any gentler than that if you listen to what I'm saying especially on the podcast it's like so delicate we can't roll back women's education and employment we can't do this like this is how difficult it is for girls like blah blah blah blah blah if I caveat it anymore I would basically be I would be lying I would be I would be um dampening down the insights so much that no one actually got to any truth anymore the other thing I was talking to David Buss about this yesterday I feel so bulletproof in the science around this there's no other topic on the planet that I know as well as intersexual Dynamics mating and attraction and because of that it means that if I do get pushback like that typically if you were unless well-grounded footing you'd be like oh no what if I'm not actually my position might not be too certain here every single stat that I cited I'm happy to give references for every single position that I had there I went yeah I I feel like that was what I meant to say I think it's accurately grounded in science and I think that it is fair and put forward in a empathetic and well-meaning way and if the Fiat 500 Instagram Club doesn't like that then I don't care Sarah Grace W after all of your conversations about females do you think you understand us more or less smiley face that's a very good question um I'd like to think more I do think more um there is a Chasm when you start learning about evolutionary psychology where you stop seeing people as people and start seeing them as just a collection of traits and signals that they're doing um but I'm out of that on the other side now um everyone's complex right absolutely everybody is but I do think that a good grounded understanding of human nature through evolutionary psychology helps to make people a little bit less murky lj22 you recently spoke with Alex homozy about the starving rat experiment where the animal has a reward to run toward the smell of cheese and something they fear to run away from the smell of a cat at this stage in life what would you say is a reward you're running toward an a fear you were running from and if you had a figurative spring attached to your figurative tail do you think it would be the reward or the fear making you pull more forcefully um it's definitely more reward than it is fear now it was fair for a very very long time it's maybe 50 50. I don't know um I try and ER on the side of finding things that are good of running towards paying forward the benefits and insights and opportunities that I've had to learn that have really helped me to become a better version of myself it feels like modern wisdom is the podcast that I wish that I'd had 10 years ago because it would have taught me a lot of the things about the world that I really needed to hear and this is why I love doing it because if I didn't run this show I would listen to this show like this is the podcast that I want to listen to I just happen to be an active participant in making it happen um in terms of running away from stuff there's still some senses of insufficiency you know like there is some negative inner voices that I get if I fall short of my own expectations and they're pretty cutting and pretty brutal at times it's a lot quieter than it used to be but it's still very much there and like way more than would be optimal um but it is getting better so I'd say maybe 50 50 at the moment in terms of my amount of force and it would be just trying to make the best of all of the opportunities that I've got at the moment I really think that the conversations we're having here are super super important I appreciate all of you guys for being incredibly sensible and reasonable and having amazing interesting curious conversations in the comments or there's this new question sticker that you can do on on Spotify which you may not have seen which is really cool and no one else sees that except for me and the guys behind the scenes so um yeah it's awesome I really like what we're talking about and I think it's important so that's driving me to do more rummy congratulations Chris what is your attachment style how was your relationship with your parents when you were growing up I love your podcast female listener here from Argentina thank you Rami from South America I think I'm mostly anxious attachment uh relationship with parents was great mum and Dad's looked after me a lot they were quite Stern they were you know I was disciplined and I knew sort of where the lines were um I've kind of get the impression that attachment style is very very heavily heritable rather than environmentally inculcated I would love to see some of these studies about crying it out and babies being left on their own replicated and whether or not they do I think that they would be I think that you're going to see them struggle so I don't think that my relationship with my parents growing up would massively impact my attachment style however I do have anxious attachment to a degree I've worked on that too and that has been helped by having a greater sense of confidence in myself and being more grounded in the things that I'm doing and not playing a role so much uh yeah well man lifestyle appreciate all of your insights as well as your guests of the show it is a massive inspiration to be better every day congratulations on 800 000 brother cheers to community thank you very much awesome always brings a smile to my face when a man doing good work is being rewarded for it keep up the good work so Patrick Connors thank you these are not questions uh it's my fault how would you say your writing style has changed or developed through the time you've been doing this podcast are you trying to actively shape it or do you just want to get better at getting your points across without any stylistic direction in mind hmm writing style has changed because of the newsletter and that has been a massive change because every single week I need to get about a thousand words down um I've become shorter with my writing style sentences are shorter I'm trying to shape it to be as simple as possible I like using cool language but it doesn't convey as easily over written words as it does when you're hearing it I think you can afford to be a little bit more flamboyant with your language when you're speaking but when you're writing you actually want to optimize just for Simplicity and accessibility unless you need to be a little bit more like verbose or whatever so yeah that would be the changes Greaves underscore Josh can you tell us more about the project you and James Smith are working on uh soon yes very soon me and James are going to be launching something this year super super excited nearly but not quite yet um yeah so well deserved a little Billy so well deserved I would not mentally be the same man I am now without modern wisdom what guest from the last year has challenged you the most intellectually when talking to them I know there are people I talk to that require me to use a lot of brain power keeping up While others are much less taxing to talk to that's Stephen Shore episode about population collapse was just like a Out of Body Experience because it's just such a frame shift around how I thought the entire world was working and and what I was or what I thought about the future of humanity um it wasn't it wasn't difficult to speak to him but every sentence that he said was causing 10 different questions to arise in my mind so I would say maybe him will you have Iman Ghazi on your podcast okay so I actually kept a secret from you guys up to now which is we trained a language learning model on 250 podcast episodes that I spoke on and every single blog post that I ever wrote so we have a crispot that supposedly is able to answer questions in as effectively of a way as I would um so I'm going to ask some of the questions from today to the crispart and we will compare what it says with what I would have said uh and maybe we'll even let it make some decisions so Hamza asked will you have Iman Ghazi on your podcast so I'll ask chrisbot will you have Iman godzi on your podcast Iman godzi is someone I've been wanting to have on the podcast for a while now I'm always looking for interesting people to interview and imangazi definitely fits the bill I'm hoping to have him on the podcast soon decision is made I will reach out to Iman I have a mutual friend crispot is already influencing the progress of this show I've just started following your content recently and I've just seen how you used to record podcasts in a not so fancy way that is a very complementary way of saying that it was [ __ ] uh just because the show we all start somewhere my question would be what had kept you going I just loved the conversations I've always spoken to people that I'm interested in talking to on the podcast for most of the almost every single person that's come on the podcast is because I can't wait to learn from them that is the most powerful motivating fuel that I can think of like all that you're going to do is continue to satisfy your curiosity over and over and over and over again there was no just because it wasn't fancy because I I wasn't getting as many plays because no one was no one cared about the podcast or me or anyone that I was speaking to I wanted to keep going because it was what I wanted to do I wasn't doing this for anybody else and you know it goes back to that question about the guy that earns a ton of money but works in a factory that he hates your using uh external motivator to motivate yourself because intrinsically you're not enjoying what you're doing I was enjoying what I was doing so it didn't matter about the fact that I started somewhere and that somewhere was a little bit crap Tim kilro is finding a quality woman harder for this generation than it was for my father let's ask Chris Bott whether he thinks that it's more difficult to find a quality woman in this generation he might throw me under the bus here I think it's hard to make a generalization about this as everyone's experience is difficult however I do think that technology has changed the way we interact with each other and that can make it harder to find meaningful connections it's important to take the time to get to know someone and build a strong Foundation before making any decisions hmm not far off uh technology changes the way we've interact and that makes it harder to make meaningful connections yes next thing very difficult um I think it's harder for both sides also it's important to take time to get to know someone and build a strong Foundation before ask making any decisions what do I think about that yeah yeah I think I think all of those Chris Bud's not done a bad job there um my opinion Tim not far off that there are some challenges that on you yeah um you are competing with a broader competence hierarchy there are more men competing for all women there are more women competing for all men as well uh and on top of that the landscape generally has changed what people expect has changed the fact that there is basically an endless number of options means that everyone is always going to be nexting right just looking over the shoulder of who they're with to see if somebody better is going to come down the line whereas if you're in a village with 200 people in it there's 10 that are available and your age so yeah perhaps um who's got a longer morning routine you or Ben Greenfield uh that would be Ben Greenfield I think mine has been stripped back it used to be 90 minutes and now it's much closer to 40 40 minutes or so get up walk breath work meditate read start writing that's the order petrub 1984 why the Crocs why not the Crocs petrob that's the question that I want to ask I am a complete Croc convert as far as I can see they are pretty close to an elite type of Footwear the perfect two-car garage for me would be Crocs and vans comfy Kush vans so you know also for traveling in unbelievable Rich Thurston I wonder if this is Mike's brother Mike thurston's brother I think is called Richard if comparison is the thief of joy to what extent can influences perpetuate slash prevent this P.S thanks for the Q jump back in 2012 on it last all of my mate okay um my pleasure uh I I don't remember it either but if comparison is the thief of joy to what extent can influencers perpetuate slash prevent this that's a really great question that um for each influencer who decides to position or posit this beautiful aspirational life other people are then going to start measuring themselves off that and it's going to cause pain given the fact that we are more exposed to this than ever before that means that more comparison could equal people feeling less and less competent that they are further and further away from what they would should could be um to what extent can influencers prevent this is a great question and I think being more open honest vulnerable um helps to mediate this I have the perfect beautiful Instagram life and all I do is drink cocktails in the Maldives and stay in single-digit body fat and nothing ever phases me opening up a little bit more honestly around the challenges that you've got in life and all of the times that you fail helps to humanize you and it helps an audience to resonate with what it is that you're saying like no one's perfect dude I've been around some of the best known people on the planet for the last 15 years right like whether it be reality TV people sports stars singers whatever and now the YouTube and content creation World everyone's got [ __ ] going on behind the scenes everybody does it's important I think for people to open up as much as they can this doesn't mean you know talking about your chronic flatulence or your athlete's foot or whatever but opening up as much as you can uh helps because it humanizes the people that are up there and it also um it means that the world's uh asymmetry or that um how do you say like status despite a Perfection disparity right the Perfection disparity between the two is is a little bit less Wales 92 how do you deal with the rapid growth of the podcast Subs absolutely amazing work thank you very much um yeah this is also a really good question because I have felt um a bit of a difference over the last few months uh specifically probably the last six which is more attention and more scrutiny and more eyes and obviously you know you do a thing that you care about and you hope that it's successful and you hope that people also care about it but all of the attention you get isn't necessarily good and you didn't ask for that not good attention you just wanted the people that like the stuff that you do but as you grow you'd start to reach out into the real internet like the Fiat 500 uh Instagram internet and the more that you do that the more that you start to suck in people who maybe have an ax to grind who aren't part of the core community and again I I think you know credit to the fact that this is a whatever 800 and something thousand person YouTube channel and almost every single comment is reasonable well-balanced well thought out and even now people who do comment stuff that is totally unhinged get fact checked by other people who've obviously listened to the show for longer and are more reasonable and say that's what are you talking about like that's not that that's not the way that you behave basically so I'm very very proud proud of it but it is making me not ambiently anxious but I'm more aware of it uh and I think I'm going to have to maybe get some more advice uh from guys that are further ahead than me about how to deal with that attention as it continues to grow Ian davidson39501 thoughts on Patrick rothfuss's kingkiller Trilogy will we ever see part three Doors of Stone I love those first two books if you need a fantasy uh Duo it's supposed to be a trilogy but the third one isn't out yet uh it's fantastic I absolutely adore it it seems to be a game of who will write the book last between George RR Martin and Patrick rothfuss at the moment and I really hope that both of them just get it done because they're both getting older and I want to see how it ends but yeah King killer Trilogy if anybody needs a new fantasy series go and check out the first two books they're awesome Burke why did you start and stop Mai Tai I started because I was bored of bodybuilding and bro bro lift split style training I needed something new to do and it was just the right time I'd always done martial arts as a kid I'd done uh Lao GAO Kung Fu to brown sash and a bunch of other stuff but it was only ever going to be a bit of a stop gap for me because when I got back to the UK I lost a ton of weight because I was doing it out in Thailand and I didn't like the way that I felt I preferred being heavier like I just feel better when I'm a heavier guy and I wasn't able to hold on to any mass at all whilst training I very well may start some striking up again I do little bits here and there maybe once every month or something just dick about but yeah it was fun music just thinking about death make you braver calmer in your everyday life let's see what crispot has to say okay Chris bot does thinking about death make you braver calmer in your everyday life I think the following about death can be a powerful reminder to live life to the fullest and make the most of every moment it can also help to put things into perspective and help us to prioritize what's important ultimately it can help us to be braver and calmer in our everyday lives Chris but that is that's just saying the question back to you um I have to say my real Chris his opinion is I don't spend that much time meditating on death I know that I should do I know that it would be good to remind me that I have a limited amount of time left here I don't think about it enough for it to for me to be able to say what sort of an effect it has but when I do spend time in nature and I'm made to feel small because of the grandness of the night sky or an awesome tree or you know some beautiful animals or whatever uh it does make me feel more connected and braver and calmer so maybe I should do it more uh Cameron Dix what was the best thing being bullied did two slash for you weirdly phrased I know let's see if Chris Buck can answer this one let's get rid of the weirdly phrased bit did two or for you come on Chris bot being bullied taught me the importance of resilience and standing up for myself it also helped me to develop empathy and compassion for others who are going through similar experiences it was a difficult time but ultimately made me a stronger more understanding person not far off is quite diplomatic is Chris bot but I'm glad he's doing that as opposed to being a raving bigot uh I would say the best thing that it did to me was gave me comfort in being on my own that I have absolutely no concern about working in solitude living in solitude dropping my entire life at 33 and moving out to America um it's a double-edged sword right A lot of the things that you dislike the most in yourself at the Dark Side of something that you really appreciate and for me you know I have always wished I was more extroverted I always wished that I was able to socialize more easily um and yet I also take a lot of pride in the fact that I can work on my own and I don't necessarily need a ton of support around me to just keep on getting things done and pursue toward goals and developments that I like so it's both sides of it Alan wickstead have you any tips on recovering from a long period of procrastination slash low mood slash inefficiency have you made many improvements to personal health but the thoughts of opening the laptop and getting [ __ ] done is too much sometimes yeah so this is um there's an interesting quote from Stephen pressfield in the war of Art and he says a real writer knows that the writing part that writing isn't the hard part it's sitting down to right that's hard and his point is that almost all of the inertia occurs at the very very beginning tips for recovering from a long period of procrastination low mood and inefficiency is focus on biology first so huberman says you cannot change the mind to the mind you have to change it with the body it's not strictly true because of meditation but I do think that he's right get moving get up at the same time enough hydration sunlight hot cold train spend time with friends like you need that base of just good feels and then on top of that you can start to build anything that you want to do which is more abstract I would say set yourself the smallest Target that you can do it before you do anything else ideally before you touch your phone first thing in the morning and a win would be 10 minutes of whatever the work is that you're doing okay 10 minutes is good another thing you could use the zygonic effect which is um leaving a sentence if you are let's say it's writing or whatever leaving a sentence half finished when you complete your work session for the day which means that when you begin to restart the next day you're not beginning from a full stop you'll be getting halfway through a sentence and you know who can't finish the sentence everyone can finish the sentence Oh but then I've written half a sentence and then I've written another one and then we're into the flow so those are some things that work for me especially given that I'm writing a lot at the moment doing something you love or doing something that pays well okay Chris bot let's not be such a Swiss Diplomat with this one okay I think it's important to have a balance between doing something you love fucksake and doing something that pays well it's important to find a job you enjoy that pays you enough to support yourself and your family that way you can have a fulfilling career and still have financial securities pursue your passions I would personally say that because the question says doing something that pays well not something that pays adequately do something that you love because again you're going to look back in 20 years time and all of the money that you earn between now and then you would probably give to have this time back so you might as well optimize for enjoying the time as opposed to earning as much money as possible once you get over that base it's marginal gains all the way up it seems like around about sort of seventy thousand eighty thousand dollars about sixty sixty thousand pounds is a limit beyond that each doubling of money seems to give you an increase in satisfaction but it's you know it's 140 then it's 280 then it's 560. you know it's an increasingly large amount to get a small dose of of Life satisfaction uh so yeah I would say do something that you love uh and then you're always going to be better at that thing in any case and if you fail there are always always going to be jobs that you hate that wouldn't pay well waiting for you on the other side of it add vet what's a core value that guides your life right this this is more direct I feel like this is Chris Bots right in his wheelhouse one of the core values that guides my life is to always strive for growth and Improvement I believe that we should never stop learning and growing that we should always be open to new ideas and perspectives this helps me to stay motivated and to push keep pushing myself to be the best version of myself a bit of repetition there Chris but uh not far off um for me curiosity is just the most effective one and the reason is that it's so inbuilt in me and it keeps my ego small and it helps me focus on satisfying my innate desire to learn and that always guides me towards stuff which is satisfying and useful because if it wasn't interesting to me it wouldn't do either of those things and the presumption is that if I find it useful and interesting maybe some non-insignificant cohort of other people will do too and that's the hope for what happens with all of you guys dot me what are your favorite references for solo monologue type podcasts I don't know what you mean there when I do the lessons type podcast that is usually coming from me um taking my favorite learnings from newsletters that I've done which you can sign up for at chriswillx.com books um and I use Apple notes if you're looking for the structure it's always Apple notes will Connolly chances of you getting Chris Brown on the podcast after he shared you on his story yeah Chris Brown shared a video of me quoting homozy to whole Mosey and then quoting a land about onto her Mosey to like 150 million people the other day didn't expect C Breezy to be into bro philosophy but here we are uh chances of me getting him on the podcast I don't know would anyone be interested in Chris Brown he's massive time but I I don't know what like other than being you know a very successful Performing Artist and having a history with Rihanna I don't really know what he's done but maybe I guess the Rufus what was your experience on Diary of a CEO like so we go tons of questions about that Instagram reel and and this Diary of a CEO thing uh I really enjoyed it it was an intense period because I'd been with homozy in Vegas the day before two days before and then went for dinner with Stephen the night before we recorded for five hours until God knows what time got up the next day packed ready to go recorded diary of the CEO and went from there to LAX to fly from LA to Qatar 16 hours direct so it was kind of a whirlwind um the operation that Steve's got there despite the fact that we kind of do the same thing the uh daily experience of what's going on is very different for both of us you know Steven's got a really sophisticated team which is very enviable uh and like it's a machine to watch um so that definitely gave me a little bit of a nudge to say look perhaps you should relinquish a little bit of control you don't need to do every single thing because Stephen is able to farm that out to other people that are competent and good at what they do and his life hasn't come crashing down around him so the operational side of things was interesting uh seems a good interviewer you know we've known each other for quite a long time um and he gives a lot of space which I enjoy uh you don't ever feel rushed which is good uh the recreation of his like house Studio thing in La was hilarious so I enjoyed seeing how that worked and we spoke about all of the stuff that I'm interested in we spoke about uh you know the sort of whole bro philosophy stuff insights about life lessons that I've learned mating problems challenges for guys challenges for girls um and it's performing really really well which is which is nice like it's it's good when new people hear things that they're maybe unfamiliar with and it opens their eyes and um you know for every single person that is here off the back of that episode welcome designs by Jesse how do you use your knowledge from your podcasts in your personal life I try and apply it as much as possible because mental masturbation is not particularly good for anyone and if you are very much in your head just constantly being cerebral you can end up having that happen an awful lot um trying to think how can I apply this does this grow any corn as I said on Steven's show show me how I can use this what how does this impact my daily actions uh seems to be a good prompt and it works for me but it's difficult like you know there's way way more knowledge than there is time to apply it and memory capacity to remember the thing that you're supposed to apply so stuff add ham zero eight seven seven are you planning on getting Jonathan height to the show let's ask Chris bot again Chris bot are you planning on getting Jonathan height to the show I would love to have Jonathan Heights on the show he is an incredibly insightful thinker and I'm sure he would have a lot of valuable insights to share I'm definitely looking into it and hopefully I can make it happen soon looks like Jonathan height is also coming on the show thanks Chris but I wonder if there's anyone that Chris but let's see this would you bring bring Hitler on the podcast no I would not bring Hitler on the podcast Chris bott's got spine I like this guy um we have found that somewhere in between Iman Ghazi Jonathan height and Hitler is a line that crispot will not cross so let us keep going uh hi Chris what is one piece of advice you would give to your younger self 10 years ago okay let's try let's see if Chris Buck can come up with this he's already really stuck his flag in the ground about Hitler hi Chris what is one piece of advice you would give to your younger self 10 years ago one piece of advice I would give to my younger self 10 years ago is to take more risks and be more open to new experiences life is short and it's important to take chances and try new things don't be afraid to take risks and step outside of your comfort zone not far off uh that would definitely be one of them probably just have faith that everything's going to be fine because I operate a lot of the time from I have operated from a place of fear um scarcity concern that I'm gonna look stupid or that everything is going to come crashing down or it's all going to fall apart or you know the sort of rampant imposter syndrome thing um nothing really I it that didn't improve my performance none of that almost none of it uh I contributed to getting from where I was to where I am so I could have gotten rid of all of it and just enjoyed the experience more so I think fearing less would have would have probably been a good piece of advice almost everybody that's listening to this is going to be absolutely fine no matter what they face every single challenge that you have come up against up to now you have surpassed by virtue of you being here the fact that you are sat here listening to this means that you've survived so therefore why would you presume that all of the things that you fear right now have any validity either they probably don't uh Medusa WTF are opinionated women less attractive Ah that's interesting our opinionated women less attractive I would say very dependent on what opinion it is like if it's a strongly opinionated woman about the Jews maybe more difficult to to get turned on um opinionated women less I I don't think it mediates attraction massively it's not strongly opinion it's just opinionated no I would say no opinionated women no women who have absolutely no opinion at all are so passive that they basically become like a maid you want something right you need you're having a conversation and if what do you think about this what's your opinion on such and such and it's just if there's never any response what are you going to be attracted to like you're not having a conversation it's like speaking to a mirror or an empty room I suppose strongly opinionated women I guess sometimes that might be correlated with high disagreeability that to me is less attractive I highly disagreeable women for some of my friends they love that kind of spark and that kind of push back and push and pull type thing that's not my bag but for some people it is on average I would say opinionated women relatively neutral very heavily opinionated women sometimes Maybe less good find the catch lights male slash female relations divide grow further or do you expect a positive Tipping Point when I think this is Will male and female relation The Divide between men and women and their relations grow further or do you expect a positive Tipping Point another really great question I would say I would like to think that it's going to turn around um this is heavily going to be mediated by what people learn I think that the way that we go about our um relationships increasingly I'm believing the fact that the way we go about our relationships is mimetic so we we see the way that other people behave we see the sorts of behavior that we believe is acceptable by the kinds of behavior that other people do around us and then we model that for what we want in our relationship and what you end up with is kind of like an a curve that goes either up or curve that goes down almost like the kovid r number because as more of one particular type of relationship occurs publicly you get more people emulating that which shows more people which shows more people and so on and so on um I don't know to be honest I at the moment it could go either way um I'm not massively I'm not today I've woken up and I'm not feeling massively confident about it other days I do feel a little bit more confident but today I think that there needs to be a rather large cultural flash point um almost like and not like a reverse me too but but like kind of like how me too sort of captured the culture so much but something that brings everybody together and makes them realize that you're not supposed to be each other's adversaries that women should care about men falling behind that men should care about women feeling lonely and retreating into into careers and and the challenge of blending a career with with maybe wanting to be a mother but then not being sure if that's just the patriarchy conning them into it all of that kind of needs to happen and it really needs to happen right now so that's the plan that's what would fix it um whether or not it's going to happen anytime soon I don't know but it can't keep going like this for much longer or else we're going to be so far apart that no one can ever have a conversation again uh Kami dot Brown do you think growing up in a working class environment has been more of a plus than a negative I would personally say that it's been a massive plus to me it's helped to keep my feet on the ground it's meant that I basically have no materialistic desires at all um I in terms of the negatives of it you don't understand just how Grand your plans could be I I'm I'm never going to build a business or or grow a company to the size of somebody who was around completely unbounded Blue Sky helicopter thinking belief entrepreneurs you know the parents spent all of their time with them between the ages of 5 and 20 or something because I I just I don't have that fundamental model but I think from a personal level it actually helps you to be much more satisfied with a much lower level of materialistic success um so yeah I you know there are positives and minuses on both sides I would say personally that I'm glad that I had the working class upbringing that I did Craig pollitt do you agree with Stephen pinker's claims that now is the best time in human history I'm going to ask Chris Bott does he know who Stephen Pinker is does he understand that it's the best time in human history I think Stephen Pinker makes some valid points but I don't necessarily agree with his overall claim that now is the best time in human history interesting there are still many challenges and injustices oh dear that need to be addressed and I think it's important to recognize that while there have been some improvements there is still a lot of work to be done Chris but went woke there a little didn't he injustices challenges and injustices there are challenges and injustices but yeah it's it's objectively by far the best time to live in human history however think about the base of Maslow's hierarchy of needs if you've got all of the bottom stuff the food the shelter the social connection sorted even if it's through social media you actually have the opportunity to deal with an existential crisis no caveman thirty thousand years ago was wondering whether he was enacting his logos forward and speaking his truth contributing to the universe and the astral realm in the best way possible because he was worried that he was going to be killed or stabbed or freezed to death tomorrow night oddly an existential crisis is a luxurious position to be in it's just not one that is necessarily often given a whole lot of sympathy it's like oh poor little comfortable 21st century people complaining about the fact that they can't enact their logos and and you know Master their Universe properly it is still difficult like getting to that stage of development is one that very few humans have had to deal with before so we don't have a massive amount or don't have as an equivalent amount of advice on what to do when you get there so from a foundational perspective yes best time to exist in human history by far medical advances safety from climate etc etc etc psychologically actually probably coming off the other side of that oh maybe maybe actually now I'm thinking about maybe 20 years ago was better I wonder whether again this is on average are you talking about places that are extreme profit poverty for people that are mostly listening to this podcast I would maybe be tempted to say that 2004 was perhaps a a slightly more psychologically stable time than now that is wild to think that to think that it might have been better 20 years ago that's that's the first time I've ever thought of that interesting uh Bradley ronmac will you ever be a pickleball world champion uh no I won't but I'm good friends with Zane navratil who is the current number three ranked men's player in the world uh and I've tried to play him on the courts just over there and the guy's unplayable the difference the chasm between me a casual recreational pickleball player and him is unbelievably vast so I'm going to say no [Music] will you invite Posey Parker to Modern wisdom this is the lady who has been involved in a bunch of kind of like protests and riots in Australia at the moment I think she's doing some stuff to do with feminism uh I'm not familiar with her work uh but I am kind of interested in learning more stuff about her I feel like I've got in my S watch later playlist on YouTube I feel like I've got more stuff from her uh CL I just want to say thank you I've watched some of your videos and had a really good discussion afterward with my teenage son it's helped me understand the world as he sees it that's very cool that's awesome thank you uh I love how diverse the people that listen to the show is as well uh it's that's really great and if your son is you know even taking one percent of the best stuff that comes from the show I'm sure that he's going to be an absolute Killer Mike congratulations Chris what are the steps you went through to build your Social Circle or that you would follow now if you were to start from nothing at 20 how about 30 or 40. okay so I'm going to Chris bought this but we'll just do it from 20. what are the steps that you went through come on Chris Bart let's give us an interesting one of the steps that you went through to build your if I were to start from nothing at 20 I would focus on building relationships with people who share similar interests and values I would also try to get involved in activities and organizations that I'm passionate about this is a good way to meet like-minded people additionally I would make an effort to be open and friendly to everyone I meet as this can help to build strong connections finally I would make sure to stay in touch with the people I meet and nurture those relationships over time that's not bad that's not bad from Chris Paul especially the last thing which is to keep in touch um I went to places that had people in that were like the sort of people that I wanted to be friends with so I wanted to be friends with people that did Fitness so I started doing CrossFit I wanted to be friends with people that uh read and were into sort of rationality and existential risk so I joined the lesserong community out here in Austin um keeping in touch is a really really important point because it's not just about meeting someone it's about keeping on top of that and you would not believe how many people suck super hard at maintaining friendships even if you meet somebody and then just drop a message a couple of days later hey man great to meet you if you fancy going for coffee next week it's not going to work every single time but it makes such a huge difference and it means that over time you will start to grow that Social Circle out and that's been a big help for me so seven out of ten response from Chris bottler OG listeners are fortunate enough to know your original motivations behind the podcast but as you reach almost 1 million subscribers speak to guests with their own content uh contentions and get clipped down into endless short film videos what do you think a new subscriber might misunderstand about your motivations or your character what gets Lost in Translation amongst the masses that is an elite question what do you think a new subscriber might misunderstand about your motivations or your character so it's kind of what I said before like I'm way too blue pilled and in the eyes of the manosphere community it's like I'm just cooking for women because I'm playing the politically correct collect correct role because I I can't wait to get like a hosting slot on [ __ ] Channel 4 or something and then for somebody that comes from a more left-leaning perspective or someone that is part of The 500 Club or a guardian reader I'm gonna look like a raving misogynist bigot budget Andrew Tate so um I think there are a lot of ways that people could misunderstand this if you are getting clipped down into endless short form videos that being said I I honestly feel like the conversations that I have on the show are it would be struggle it would be hard for me to be more reasonable it'd be hard for me to find guests that come on under more caveat I feel like I'm finding the line of where guests say things where I'm like hang on a second like is that really what you think do we need to play devil's advocate here have you got a reference for that um I would Hazard a guess that given the fact that the difference between the comments on Instagram and the comments on YouTube specifically on the Diary of a CEO podcast YouTube people that have maybe either watched the full thing or heard what I've done before interpreted it it saw a different person sort of different video right to what they saw on Instagram um but this is what I was saying before that the more content that gets put out there the more opportunities there are for people to misinterpret uh misconstrue artificially uh manipulate what it is that you've done or said and claim that that is you right they're saying that this is the tip of the iceberg and you don't know the bigoted raving racist or whatever it is that's that's lurking below the depths Tate said that he realized as his platform grew that he had to be more careful about the things that he said because it reaches more people which basically gives it a greater opportunity to be misconstrued so maybe you do need to just be more precise as you keep on growing but at the moment you know I I'm really really happy with how everything has gone I'm confident that at some point within the next few years there will be some sentence that falls out of my mouth that I say in a a bumbled way that is taken in a bad a bad manner but you go okay there's a thousand hours behind me of me not being the raving like jew-hating misogynist or whatever that I'm being accused of probably easier to presume that it was an error or imprecise speech than me finally unveiling my KKK membership Geordie Shaw hi Chris you mentioned to read more articles on sub stack you mentioned you read more articles on substack than books these days can you share your top sub stack articles you must read before you die list I might put this together I might do an article list uh as a addition to the reading list certainly sub Stacks that you should check out Rob Henderson's is fantastic gwynda bogles is fantastic um astral codex 10 uh uh by Scott Alexander is great experimental history by Adam mastriani is also great and pirate wires by Mike Solana all great reads Andrea with the bangs you've mentioned the idea that words and declarations mean more than actions in the age of social media what does this mean to you how do you prioritize practicing What You Preach in your own life this is kind of the same as what I said before that you can do the mental masturbation thing and come out on the other side realizing that you've learned an awful lot and enacted basically nothing um I try as best I can to live out the strategies that I care about I'm so far from perfect right I I literally couldn't be further from perfect but the bar is set so high like perfect is beyond unreachable um prioritizing practicing what I preach is just how can I apply this does it grow corn what does this look like when I try and take it and make it actionable and this is the same with everything that you that you learn if you just allow all of the content to come over you to watch over you and then eventually you're going to hear something that goes oh holy [ __ ] I can't not see that I can't and see it okay build the Habit around that one don't try and force The Habit on the thing that sounds like you should do it but you have absolutely no desire to think about the thing that hits you through the heart you go I roll over and spend 45 minutes every single night checking my phone before I go to bed okay practice that put it outside of your room or I do you know X Y and Z whatever it is take the thing that resonates apply it as hard as you can don't miss two days in a row there's a rule uh uh Greg Lunt how big is your team and in what areas are you looking to expand let's see if Chris Bott knows how big the team is foreign my team currently consists of myself my video editor Dean and a few of the people who help with the podcast and other projects we're looking to expand our team in the areas of content creation marketing and social media uh he's got our briskies he knew about Dean that's good a few of the people who help with the podcast that will be Ben we just brought on a new guy called Chase he is looking after some of the YouTube stuff uh and I would love to get a business manager and a producer on because it would make life an awful lot easier Adam question will people stop buying books now you can just listen to podcasts with the author going into greater detail about the book I find myself doing this a lot I would say yes to degree but when you do listen to an author where you know even a three-hour conversation only scratches the surface of a book there will be times where you just have to go out and buy it and this is why you know the podcast tours for authors are being so successful because it is the front end of their funnel it's capturing people with cool stuff and then they dig down and watch more Mark cushion two guests I'd really like to see in the show True Geordie and Darren Brown any chance so me and Brian true Jody have been talking for quite a while I think it's we'll probably do something before the end of the year Darren Brown I would absolutely love to bring him on I think he's fascinating but I don't have an in with him yet so hold on tight Jason Brady do you think homozy is the naval of his generation I think Naval is the naval of his generation homozy is a really really impressive operator I love the Bro philosophy stuff I love the fact that he's got real world applicable evidence that he's done these things that he's not just laughing about it and he's not just doing the mental masturbation thing but Naval is a different breed of human he is his insights are phenomenal and I really I very much miss him being more active on the sort of content creation circuit but hopefully that'll change and if it does I will be sat here waiting waiting for him waiting to to pounce with an email fit and Nancy looking back how did you make it so big and so quick in the podcast world I don't think I did man like it's taken half a decade and 600 and something episodes to get to really even a remotely appreciable size where anybody cares about what I'm doing um so I I don't think I have made it very quick there are people whose Ascension has been basically vertical Brett Cooper um launched the podcast or launched her Channel a year ago a year and a couple of months ago and she's at two million Subs um but I don't I don't not care like I love the fact that the show is growing and I love the fact that people resonate with what I care about but nothing's changed me and Dean always felt like the podcast was undersubscribed because the conversations that we were having were sometimes very different to what you could get because I was finding people that to me were personally interesting and they weren't doing the circuit so because nothing's ever changed it's very strange that what we do is the same thing it's the same Facebook Messenger thread that we talk backward and forward on about thumbnail amends and and what guests are coming up and stuff uh the only thing that's changed is the fact that we've done it for so long that there's now this Army of of people that watch um the most important things that have happened in terms of growth if that's the question are just being consistent being consistent finding big guests having good conversations uh and and getting better at doing the craft which happens because you've done it consistently that guy Pete you refused to invite to Gatherings I've seen Pete comment on a bunch of different episodes and his comments usually are pretty good how has deep diving into evolutionary psychology affected how you navigate relationships in real life true to form that guy Pete good question let's see what Chris Bott says how is deep diving into evolutionary psychology affected how you navigate relationships in real life exploring evolutionary psychology has helped me to better understand underlying motivations behind human behavior good this has enabled me to better navigate relationships in real life by being more aware of the underlying dynamics of play okay it has also helped me to be more mindful of my own behavior and to be more conscious of how my actions might affected this that was a bit of [ __ ] um it is difficult in some regards like I said before there is a period where you don't see people as people you see them as just a collection of inputs and and signals and incentives that are kind of like manipulating them like a marionette on strings um and that's a little disconcerting because you start to see code instead of seeing Matrix and it can feel disquieting um manipulative in a way not that you're necessarily being manipulative but when you start to deconstruct why people do the things that they do it takes you out of just the enjoyment or the natural sensation of just being with the person doing the thing always asking that question even if you asked it before now having the answer kind of it's jarring so you know for the people that are into the EP stuff I think that this is just a price that you have to pay uh there's that a London bottom quote the one that Chris Brown shared uh loneliness is the kind of tax you have to pay to atone for a certain complexity of mind I wonder whether discordance is a kind of tax you have to pay to atone for a certain depth of evolutionary psychology insight we will see elves have you ever or would you ever record a podcast and dislike how it went enough to not post it you know I've never been asked this question before and I thought that this would be something that would have come up there are a bunch of podcasts that I've recorded that have never seen the light of day most of the time it is because the guest just wasn't having a particularly good day for one reason or another and my goal is to keep producing content that I would listen to if I ask myself would I listen to this podcast would I enjoy listening to this podcast and the answer is no I'm asking for a lot from you even at two-time speed you know you're still giving me 45 minutes of your day um I can't I in all good conscience I can't put out an episode that doesn't it doesn't add value and if it doesn't make the guest look good because you know they were they weren't performing particularly well what it's it's not a positive for them to reach you know cumulative couple of million followers across all platforms burbling and bumbling and stumbling over their words stoicism underscore enjoyer I'm 13. holy [ __ ] okay what should I do with my life what books to read what business to start watching my main focus be PS big fan of your podcast since 80 000 Subs mind-blowing to see if 10x so quickly I we were at 80 000 Subs three years ago two years ago three two and a half years ago we were 80 000 Subs so you've been listening since you were 11. or 10. what should I do with my life at 13. um look I don't want to be patronizing I I think that you're asking the right questions which is very important but I think that just getting on with sinking into the experience of being a human all of the main learnings that you're going to get are going to come from socializing interacting with other people having real world experiences I would spend as little time as possible on the internet I would spell as little time as possible on your phone and on social media I would find it I mean you you sound you sound like you're [ __ ] 21. stoicism enjoyer so I would maybe try and hang out with some people that are a little bit older than you they're going to be on your level um I you do not need to start a business at age 13. it would be cool if you could maybe there's something that you can see um where you have access and you can leverage the fact that you are so much further ahead at such a younger age if you were to start a business I would be looking at something that you have a specific piece of technical advantage in um so Insight around what other 13 year olds want at this age and then how can I get this out onto the internet leverage it you need something that isn't going to cost a lot so a digital course would be great um you don't want to really be doing Drop Shipping and like I mean or sending a bunch of fidget Spinners to your parents house so that you can try and sell them in school trying to Arbitrage bottles of prime I wouldn't focus on that uh but dude I mean you're asking questions that are the people that are literally twice your age haven't asked themselves so keep on thinking deeply focus on enjoying life hasn't have as many experiences as possible in terms of books to read um essentialism by Greg McEwen way of the superior man by uh David data Atomic Habits by James Clear probably something to do with health and fitness which would be great um the Align method by Aaron Alexander Kelly starrett's new built to move Peter attia's new outlive business to start something online watching my main focus be just enjoy life bro you don't get like like child years back so keep listening to Modern wisdom but other than that get off the internet enjoy life and you are going to be an absolute killer in no time at all uh night league did you ever think you would become a famous million sub YouTuber on your first day starting your channel uh the First first day starting my channel was in 2017 um we recorded a failed episode that never never went out when the podcast was called mind and matter um I I had no idea what was going to happen and I always wanted to just have interesting conversations and now there's just more people watching so I have no complaints little broomstick how much of the current toxic elements of the pillar sphere pilosphere manosphere do you believe are attributable to young men being left out of dating and sexual relationships early as teenage and young men I 13 to 25 before men enter Prime earnings I don't quite understand men being left out of dating and sexual relationships okay so is the fact that younger guys aged eight uh 13 to 25 are having less dating and sexual encounters contributing to the proliferation of red pill black pill Etc and the manosphere stuff yeah perhaps I think you know a good part of what's going on with mgtow black pill in cell culture red pill manosphere high value low value man and then on the other side sort of Boss [ __ ] leaning culture R female dating strategy um all of like that Trad wife all of those movements right on both sides maybe slightly less Trad wife um what's happening is these are copes from both sides of the aisle on we are struggling in The Mating Market we need to find a solution for it the solution is band together of the shared hatred of an out group usually point the finger at the other sex um so yeah actually it's certainly the toxic elements of it um would be eased an awful lot if young guys were having real world interactions with women because they would realize that it's not the the group of girls that the internet tells you are out there waiting for you to hijack all of your earnings and run off with your brother and your left leg then they're very very difficult to find the problem is that because not many guys have got real world experience to just disprove that how are they going to actually have any advice other than what they've read on the internet so yeah I think that might be right fit Barber YYC what's it like living with a maniac like Zach calendar Zach is fantastic to live with we get on very very well he is a great influence on me and he helps to keep me upbeat and positive and I think that I help to make him nice and and focused so it's not as maniacal as you might think Xavier can you please invite Lex Friedman Lex came to my birthday a couple of weeks ago uh that Michael malice did at his house which is very nice of him and he will be on the show eventually the guy is busy he's trying to make robots to save the world and and automate his lunch or whatever it is he's doing big things so it'll happen it's just a case of one wake up what's the number one bad habit that has held you back for the longest time this sounds like a good Chris bot question what's the number one bad habit that's how do you bank for the longest time the number one bad habit that's held me back for the longest time is procrastination I often find myself putting off tasks and projects until the last minute which can lead to stress and poor quality work I'm working on becoming more mindful of my time and making sure I'm taking action on the things that are important to me I would have said probably my phone phone does cause me to procrastinate but just phone use I I don't like how much time I spend on my phone I wish I didn't I don't spend you know forever out I don't know what my average screen time is per day but it's more than I want and the story that I tell myself around my phone use is also like that sucks it's not good array honest opinion of Dubai ever see yourself living there Chris bot come on let's do this honest opinion of Dubai ever see yourself living there I think Dubai is an amazing city with a lot to offer it's a great place to visit and explore and I could definitely see myself living there one day culture and architecture are fascinating the city has a lot of energy and vibrancy yeah I think it's a good place to live and work and I would love to experience it for myself one day I've been I've been crispart I've been [ __ ] tons of times uh I could see myself living there but it would probably mostly be for the tax um to be honest it's great for short trips but starting a family there probably not there isn't a massive amount of sort of nature or at least nature in the way that I not unless you think that sand is nature um it's not very how do you say appropriate for dogs and a big dog person I really like it and a lot of my friends that are out there are loving it but I don't think they're probably going to settle down there so I could see myself living there for a short period of time but in terms of settling down for forever home probably not uh benth seven have you ever suffered with anxiety or depression come on Chris bot this is a nice upfront question for you to ask yes I've suffered with anxiety and depression in the past it was a difficult time I was able to get through it with the help of therapy and medication this is just a lie I'm afraid I'm now in a much better place and I'm grateful for the support I received didn't do really any therapy never been medicated so crispot is he's having a bad day so far uh I have suffered with anxiety and depression mostly depression throughout my 20s um this rough man like you know being ashamed about the fact that you feel sad and you have nothing to feel sad about was the worst part of it so you know my depression would manifest by me being in bed bound for you know a few days at a time maybe once every few months and because I was the owner director of my own company no one could tell me where I needed to be I could make excuses I could get other people to go and do stuff for me and then it would usually happen in between two appointments or or events or whatever where I actually had to be there where I couldn't not be there and I would just spend this time lying bed eat [ __ ] food not open the curtains not want to do anything um I hate myself like just real real low mood and it would happen consistently like a lot throughout my 20s um sleep pattern was a massive massive contributor to that and fixing the sleep pattern fixed an awful lot of everything that happened Downstream um I always thought I was depressed for a good chunk of it turned out I was heavily heavily sleep deprived and then a bunch of other things too um but it's it's not it's not fun uh and I'm very very glad that I'm in a place now where there's still that that that person's still in me um but the voice and the tenor of them are much more quiet um I do sometimes wonder What will What would happen what will happen uh if I enter one of those stages while I've still got the show to do and if I've got to you know turn up and try and have a conversation with somebody maybe it's a big guest or maybe it I don't know I I don't ever want to come and put on a face and pretend that everything's fine and dandy in my own life to you guys because I've tried to be really truthful and open and vulnerable but I also don't want to be the guy that comes on and goes hey mate how's everything going today and me to respond to the guest and say that I hate myself and and I I spent the last three days in bed with curtains closed eating Papa John's so yeah I I am I'm very glad that the the progress that I've made and I do not miss that uh texture of my own mind my Iron Man Journey why is there so much body positivity around plus-sized women but so little for men Chris bot come on let's see Step Into the Fire crispart tell us why is there so much body positivity I think that there is a lack of body positivity for men because they're great the traditional gender roles and expectations that have been placed on them men are often expected to be strong and muscular and any deviation from this can be seen as a sign of weakness I think it's important to recognize that all body types are valid and to celebrate the diversity of men's parties Chris Bart come on um as a really good question I I've asked this question a ton I did a video with Zach a little while ago about how um the comparison between women's lingerie photos on a website and male underwear photos and all of the guys were peeled out of their mind and all of the women were bigger girls uh the bare-faced answer is that body positivity is a virtue signal that proselytizes to the world about the fact that you care about people of all sizes especially women of all sizes but there is no movement which is praising like bigger men there are a lot of movements that are praising bigger women therefore all of the body positivity is aimed toward the group that looks like it needs help guys have had it good for so long why should a guy that isn't in shape be uh given any sort of recompense it is usually all done to the women another part of this which I've spoken about a ton and I really love this concept is that male self-development sees the person as mutable and the world is immutable so it's the male's job to change himself because the world's not going to change for him female self-development sees the person as immutable and the world is mutable which is you are already perfect as you are the world needs to change around you and I think that this is massively patronizing to women like if I was a woman and that was what the world was telling me you don't need to worry let us move all of these obstacles out of your way with Marvel series and movies or Disney or whatever I think [ __ ] you like I I'm a competent agentic person that can do her own [ __ ] I don't need you to do this for me but given the fact that body positivity is warping the world around women of different sizes and men for the most part are being told like better get in the gym buddy Emily may sturt do you think people have too high expectations of relationships now maybe but to a degree yeah actually um and this is on both sides of the fence I think that uh it is very very easy to presume that because you have access to such a huge pool of Partners there is always going to be something more optimal for you right you're going to look over the shoulder of whoever you're with to just see what's coming next next thing is what Logan URI called it um people want their soul mate that sexual paramour they want their best friend they want the future partner and raiser of their children they want the pillar of their community but who who are we to say that you shouldn't ask for that from a relationship um I don't know I it obviously if you have two high standards it means that you're going to end up either alone or permanently unsatisfied so individually it's sub-optimal societally it's sub-optimal because it means that fewer and fewer people are getting together it's very difficult like it I'm struggling to find a way to say you shouldn't do it because it sounds a lot like me saying you should settle I'm like well [ __ ] hell like that doesn't seem like very firm ground to me to stand on but basically to a degree you will have to compromise there is going to be someone out there that is 90 or 95 right but if you don't like the fact that they slurp their tea on a morning or that they wear bell bottom or fled jeans instead of tight jeans or something like look is this really a non-negotiable for you or are you just nitpicking because you want to try and find 100 because 100 may be out there but it's basically going to be impossible so two degree yeah maybe dialing that back would be a good idea uh J son 1989 top five books for self-development uh I am going to ask Chris Bott what he thinks the top five books for self-development are because you can't Weedle his way out of this one uh number one The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle not bad number two The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey never read it number three How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie never read it Number Four The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz read half of it number five The Alchemist by Paulo coella got like one and a half right Alchemist would probably be in there um Atomic habits essentialism by Greg McEwen let's say The Alchemist because Chris Bott said it um what else would I put in there the April understood the universe by Steve Stuart Williams and hmm let's say the way of the superior man by David data however there is a list of 100 books you can read before you die if you go to Chris willex.com books go on uh escaping mediocrity how do you judge the potential of a guest interesting person breath of breath of knowledge breath of knowledge yes um it's whether or not I'm interested in them whether or not I want to hear them say things on a podcast the at the moment what I'm realizing is someone's ability to communicate is probably the tightest bottleneck of all of the different things you can have someone that has amazing insights but if they're really struggling to get them out of their mouth it's basically unlistenable and you can have someone that's got you know acceptable moderate lessons about life and the world but a really really great Candor and the way that they speak and and the a compelling Storyteller they're phenomenal so I think optimizing toward good storytelling good communication is great um which is why yeah just am I going to be interested in this person is the best litmus test because that's going to take into account all of that stuff above uh holy wool can I offer you a free sports massage when you're in Sydney James can vouch presumably James Smith sure uh for the people that don't know we've been advertising for dates for the tour and a lot of listeners are in Australia so it would seem that I'm going to Australia and Sydney at some point David vertlib advice for social anxiety slash public speaking um I have only done a little bit of public speaking so I'm not massively familiar with that given the fact that I'm about to do a live tour probably gonna have to spend a good bit of time getting over that for social anxiety no one cares what you're doing nobody cares about you at all uh every single person is completely wrapped up in debt on lives when you walk into a room no one's looking at you when you drop a glass of Coke down the front of your top no one cares no one remembers when you leave within 20 seconds no one gives a [ __ ] like there is nothing more liberating than realizing how indifferent the rest of the world is to what you're doing you are the center of your own universe and you basically don't even exist in anybody else's that should be the best answer the best antidote to social anxiety that I can think of uh doctor direct it's a good name a lot of you podcasters at top have the same sponsors do you truly believe in their products so I'm guessing that this would be stuff like athletic greens and uh better help and maybe I don't know what else manscaped so every single sponsor that I have on the show I use athletic greens I use every single day element I use every single day manscaped I don't need to use every single day thankfully but I use it on the days I need to use it uh I truly do you truly believe in their product I do I can't speak for all of the rest of the guys but there are more people that want to sponsor the show than slots I have on the show therefore I'm in the luxurious position of being able to choose who comes on the show who I'm going to get sponsored by which means I can say no to anybody that I don't believe in like I wear gymshark stuff I train in it anybody that see me training in Austin knows that I just basically live in that stuff anyone that's seen me traveling knows that I've got element or athletic dreams with me uh you know it's I understand that the there's probably a bit of skepticism around the fact that why is it that all of the big podcasts use the same sponsors but the reason that they have the biggest budgets are because they're the ones that the most successful and the reason they're the ones that the most successful is usually because they're the best so it's a little bit circular but yes I do in short I do AJ credia what do you think about physical appearance and attraction it's fundamental uh I I don't believe that you can fake attraction it would be that would be way too blue pill let's see what Chris but says because if Chris but says that maybe I am a blue pilled [ __ ] um what do you think about physical appearance and attraction don't say something stupid I think physical appearance is important but it's not the only Factor when it comes to attraction I think that there are qualities uh to look for that go beyond physical appearance such as kindness intelligence and a shared sense of humor not going to get hard off the back of in like a shared sense of humor and I think ultimately it finds it's important to find someone who you can connect with on a deeper level yeah uh physical appearance and attraction are fundamental that being said people can be sexy in ways that aren't to do with their physical appearance it can be the way that they hold themselves can be their sort of manner and girls that have got a little bit of sass are you know hot but it's not to do with necessarily their appearance but it's a huge lever like the thing that you are attracted to the way that it shows up remembering that almost all of your senses are dedicated to the visual field it's a big deal so yeah massive uh curling TX what's the scoop on marriage contracts prenups and Dowry what's the future look like in that Arena can laying out your plan for the future and boundaries for your person progeny and property make the XX more secure and the X Y has defined goals that's for the AMA I I thought that prenups were relatively watertight and since I've started so delving further into the world of why guys specifically are avoiding marriage and in some of the threads that I've been involved in people have said you know I'm not going to get into a relationship so that a woman can take half of my thing and I well-meaningly said well just why don't you get a prenup and then it seems that these things kind of don't really count for much and that the judge can just throw them out if they want to which kind of begs the question like what's the point of them um so I need to do a lot more reading on this so I can't give you an answer but I'm glad that you've asked the question because it's something that I really need to learn about uh Benjamin cootie his real name is Chad Williamson those who know Stardust I don't know Stardust and I don't get that reference so if someone wants to explain it to me please do Dave novel population collapse is the most interesting news subject for me that I've learned about in the last 12 months what's the most interesting news subject you've learned about over the last 12 months you stole mine Dave because for me it is what I'm captivated by uh I was already on the mating crisis stuff probably 18 months ago so I can't say that from the last 12 let's say the um impact of hormonal birth control on women's psychology or maybe intersexual competition and the difference between how male and female coalitions and friendships work Ed I want to start a writing business I'm decent at writing but I don't know how to start any advice I don't know what you're going to sell as writing is this copywriting do you want to get paid to be a writer on sub stack first thing that you need to do is have an audience you need to be able to reach people that could maybe want to pay you to write stuff so build up something if you're going to be a writer it would be best to do that off the back of a platform that is heavily geared toward writing so sub stack start a sub stack write one blog post every week for the next six months promote it get into that content creation game and see where you go from that you will naturally start to accumulate people and if you don't if you're not picking up people or if you're finding the writing thing too hard maybe writing isn't right for you Joe one novik best friend is aiming down how to deal with close friends unwilling to move forward Chris Bott come on now something good it can be difficult to watch a close friend struggle and feel like they're stuck in a rut the best thing you can do is be there for them and offer your support let them know that you are there for them and that you're willing to listen and help in any way you can encourage them to take small steps toward their goals and celebrate their successes no matter how small remind them that they're capable of them admiring their goals and that you believe in them achieving their goals and that you believe in them not bad from Chris but there I don't think that that's too far off um another side of it is it's not your job to drown whilst trying to keep somebody afloat who doesn't want to swim like you can continue to encourage to cajole to coerce someone to improve themselves but there are upper bounds and after a while you realize that you're basically exchanging your growth for their loss and after a while it may be best to find new friends Bjorn Rasmussen Chris I was wondering how many of you are listeners are female and never thought of your podcast as four men but recommended your podcast to a female friend and she apparently thought it was sexist which I don't understand at all so I'm curious if it is just her or if women don't tune in at all very good question around about a third of the listeners are female so I maybe they're all sexists maybe every woman that's listening to this right now is a sexist uh but yeah it's between a third and a quarter of the audience are female for me personally I have never tried to make this podcast for any sex I am a guy so my insights around male psychology are always going to be deeper but this year I would I would Hazard a guess that we're probably not far off 50 50 on male to female guests so many over the last few months of all of the intersexual Dynamic stuff you know people from researchers from different backgrounds phds um you know [ __ ] this is your brain on birth control by Dr Sarah Hill no guy really in their right mind should be interested in that apart from the fact that they're potentially getting into a relationship or it's their mother or their sister or their friend or whatever my point being I really try hard to just follow whatever I'm interested in and whatever side of that that falls on so be it however a lot of girls tune in and to those of you that are here I praise you and your estrogen uh for blessing us with your time thank you very much uh Untold encounters hey Chris congratulations on the agent of the Thousand Subs you definitely deserve it because of the great content you create that has made me think differently and better about life decisions thank you very much question I remember your conversation with Mary Harrington where you said you have not looked into surrogacy in some of its ethical problems are you planning on having a conversation with Katie Faust since she has been talking and researching the ethics and problems of surrogacy and gamete donation and how they could be potential children's rights violations I am not familiar with Katie Faust however I have a list and she is getting added to the list so thank you very much for that uh s Don Chris being an OG listener since lockdown 2020 and I'm genuinely so stoked to see you grow I wanted to ask with the increased success you still seem to be the same person how have you fought off the keeping up with the Joneses mentality that is so prevalent in the US and also in the UK such as buying a Rolex a sports car and designing clothes Etc also do you see yourself living in the in Austin slash the US long term or can we see return back to the tune um a few things first off designer clothes have never attracted me uh I dress almost exclusively for comfort and convenience um and like fancier clothes basically get less uncomfortable so that's been easy I am actually kind of interested in buying a nice watch just because I've become a fan of the watches themselves uh sports car I don't know I I got Ubers everywhere in Austin at the moment um I have no real sense of self-worth that gets taken from Material desires I have none of it I don't judge myself based on the boutons that I'm wearing or the like the the jacket that I've got or the the brand of car that I drive like I like nice things but I like nice things in as much as they functionally facilitate what I want to do with my life um you know in future maybe I'll get to the stage where buying a Rolex or a sports car or something isn't as so high of a bar to get over that I'm going to be bothered about it but let's have other stuff that I would spend my money on I'd invest in companies I would pay for experiences for me and my friends I would spend on growing this show and and like I I took good example um the Vegas trip that we did for David Goggins towards the back end of last year flew me and all of the production team out to Vegas a bunch of friends came in from Dubai a bunch of uh staff came in from the UK other friends came in from America Michaela and her husband and a bunch of other people and we went out on a night out we went to Cirque du Soleil we did a ton of stuff that is the best way that I could spend my money compared with buying a Rolex or a sports car and it cost less it cost less than all of those things and yes don't still have it now but I've still got the memories I've got some of them it was a bit it was a slightly heavy weekend Ben Middleton keep up the great work question would you ever have a guest on who couldn't bring in couldn't bring much to the table intellectually no modern wisdom but potentially would bring in huge views for your show so I don't have a problem with someone who doesn't bring much intellectually as long as they're interesting like it's not just intellectuals that are interesting um optimizing for people that are just big names that I'm not interested in is something that I really don't want to do I think I've managed to stay clear of doing it so far um I'm trying to even think like who who would be the thing is that most of the people that would bring in huge views would be interesting to me in one form or another Because by the fact that they've got such a gravitas around them they're probably living an extraordinary life in one form or another which I could learn a lot from and then we could dig into it and everyone would get to find out about what their lives like so um I would have someone on who doesn't bring much to the table intellectually but I would almost never bring someone on who I wouldn't I straight up wouldn't bring somebody on who doesn't interest me like what's the point like it's my show it's my it sounds so much the only child in me is coming out this is my show my show and I have no one else no one else gets to tell me what to do um it is my show I've always followed my instincts with it I've always brought people on who I'm interested in which is why you've been subjected to endless numbers of human nature and evolutionary psychology because that's what I'm interested in right now previously it was existential risk before that it was CrossFit before that it was life hacks after that it was productivity tips that's the way that I'm working so intellectually versus interest I think is the way that I'm framing it Peter capusi uh you mentioned that you're doing 240 minutes of Zone cardio awakens on two cardio a week I think that's supposed to be is there a certain reason you do this type of cardio what is the benefit compared to other forms of cardio training for you doing 180 and this is Andrew huberman you know it's just human is speaking out of my mouth here Peter Atia said the same thing basically you want to get about three hours of zone two which is probably 125 to 140 beats per minute uh of cardio in per week it's good for heart health I wanted to be more calm I wanted to have a lower resting heart rate and a higher HIV that's the best way to do it Red Beard how should you deal with pride after a glow up let's see what crispot has to say about this you big cook it's important to recognize that a glow up is a positive thing to be proud of yourself for the hard work and effort you put in to achieve it however it's also important to remember that it's not about physical appearance that there are many other aspects of life that just important celebrate your accomplishments but also remember to stay humble and kind to others bit bit mincy that wasn't it um how should you deal with pride after a glow up I don't know man I mean a lot of people struggle with imposter syndrome which is basically the opposite right it's that you've had the glow up and you still see yourself as the glowed down the worst version of you so um maybe do the thing that homozy said actually which is starting around with people that are you know like uh get into a room with bigger people so to speak so if you do have a glow up get some hotter friends and then you're gonna feel ugly again maybe that would work Christopher S huge congratulations Chris yours is honestly one of the most intellectually honest and diverse podcasts in the game thank you very much in the war of art Stephen pressfield writes that our job in this life is not to shape ourselves into some kind of Ideal we imagine we ought to be but to find out who we already are and become it you've spoken about the influence this book had on you so my question in regards to balancing practically with the concept of going pro what advice would you give to a writer for example who hears as though they were put on the planet to write that lacks the Financial Security to commit wholesale to be so creative a vocation or more specifically how did you balance the output that eventually springboarded your growth with your previous professional commitments appreciate you appreciate you too Christopher good name um it's hard man like there are um literal material [ __ ] like physical constraints on how many hours you have in a day and creativity gets constrained down more by that if you are working in a job whilst trying to do the writing thing whilst trying to deliver life I was trying to bring up blah blah blah it's gonna be tough um what advice would you give to a writer that feels as though they were put on the planet to write yet lacks the Financial Security to commit wholesale to so creative a vocation you've just like dip your toe in one step at a time if you are risk-averse I am massively risk-averse I did the show alongside running the business for basically the first four years of it um and then finally after I'd proven to myself that it was going to be able to work I was able to take that step I could let go of the thing that was my sort of security I could move into the thing that was going to be much more risky um I think that is probably the best place to start um in terms of balancing the outputs accept the fact that this is going to be hard this is why most people can't do the thing that you're trying to do most people can't become a writer because they can't deal with the discomfort of doing both reliable work to keep the lights on and creative work to build the writing career at the same time some people may have a rich father or win the lottery or you know fortunately sell a business and then they can pivot if that's not you the price that you have to pay to get to the life that you want is eating [ __ ] and doing two things that are both kind of difficult and sapping at the same time and on the other side of that hopefully you get something that's right and and is a much better life for you but even if you don't you've closed the loop of wondering wonder what would have happened if I tried to commit for two years to become a writer whilst I was working in that factory or whatever Danny Johnson if you were to appear on diary for CEO what question would you leave for the next guest did appear on Diary of a CEO Danny I wonder if this was posted before that one went live um the question I asked was one that I stole from a friend a guy called George Mack and the question was what topic currently overlooked by the mainstream media in future will be studied by historians [ __ ] good question there Etsy bags would you ever start an only fans Chris Bart come on say yes say yes say yes no piss I wouldn't start no new fans I believe everyone should be able to express themselves in whatever way they choose but I'm not comfortable with the idea of monetizing my content in that way Chris but it's it's sex neutral what are you talking about apparently not sorry mate uh best platform to learn skills like marketing Etc not just getting educated by uni I would say YouTube uh you know homozy's books bloody hell read those and read 100 million dollar offers 100 million dollar deals which is going to be out soon there you go javray no that's jabri again you're not having two sorry javeray uh jargon junkie can you do a session with Rhian Stone you both talk about similar things I saw a quote from Rhian that said something like um after a life of privilege equality feels like uh persecution he was basically saying that um somebody that has had an unseen undetected position of privilege for a good amount of time when they are asked to when the field is asked to be evened it feels like they're being pulled back and I thought that was really interesting but I'm not super familiar with anything else that they do so I'd have to look into it Peter sadness not a question but I'd like to thank you Chris your podcast really helped me in understanding myself in the world we live in thanks to you my health is much better than before as well as my self-confidence thanks to Apple episodes with Goggins or Joker willink thanks Peter I appreciate you thank you very much Hamza L azawi what businesses slash income sources do you have if you don't mind sharing yeah sure so I've got the show uh we've got that on audio on YouTube I have a number of properties in the UK so I guess like real estate I have some very basic [ __ ] investing which is just an s p tracker that I dollar cost average into every single month filling up my what in the UK we have a thing called a uh interest fee free stocks and shares Isa which allows you to basically um lump a particular ton of money in per year and you're allowed to do that tax free and then the downstream benefits from it are also tax free so I'm maxing out that um little psycho like Amazon affiliate stuff which is [ __ ] pennies anyone that thinks that they can make money off Amazon Affiliates is moving far more traffic than I am uh that's it really I life gets paid for by the show uh and the sponsors that I work with YouTube ad Center revenue is good it's okay it's I would have loved to have been a part of YouTube before the adpocalypse or whatever it was called I can't imagine how much money people were making that but um I know I feel like I am leaving probably quite a lot on the table in terms of monetizing and stuff I've never been that good at building businesses I only realized this recently being a businessman self-identified businessman for ages I I I don't have that hunger brain to like really really get after it and just make tons of money which is good as we've said today about the materialism thing but it's also makes me think well how much am I just leaving on the table I could earn it and and do anything with it so I know we'll see I I do want to monetize a bit more about appropriately after a while um Pete de Jean could you share again why you prefer element and why you take it daily awesome content keep it up thank you prefer it uh prefer to what I'm not sure I take it daily because it is better for you on a morning than a coffee your adrenal system the caffeine that salt acts on is active for the first 90 minutes of the day your adenosine system isn't so having coffee first thing in the morning is pointless you're just ramping up your uh like adenosine um ramping up the amount of caffeine that's in your body while it's not binding to the adenosine receptors and you might as well just take something to tastes really really nice and is refreshing and optimizes your hydration and your appetite and your brain health and does everything else and then you can have your coffee or your caffeine or whatever a few hours later um dreams do you do you have do nothing day or are you constantly working or thinking about working let's see what Chris but says are you do you have do nothing day are you constantly working I'm thinking about working I try to take at least one day a week to do nothing horse [ __ ] Chris bot absolute horseshit Chris Bart got it wrong I tried to take one at least one day a week to do nothing and just relax I think it's important to take time to recharge and give yourself a break from work on these days I like to spend time with friends and family read a book Outdoors uh or just take a walk and enjoy that um only got two pieces of family Chris bought both of them live in the UK that's mum and dad so I don't get to do that um I do like to spend time with friends and family I like to take little breaks go and play Pickleball be in nature do stuff like that but no I I'm usually always thinking about something um but I enjoy like that's revitalizing to me is thinking about things but pressing the gas pedal of how much to work and how much not work is um important uh hounsy boy do you think there is a connection between the masculinity crisis and recreational weed come on crispart let's get a good question in here I don't think there is a direct connection between the masculinity crisis and recreational weed however I do think that recreational weed can be used as a tool to help people relax reduce stress which can be beneficial to those struggling with masculinity issues Chris bott's a stoner who knew um I actually think that there is I think that there's a good bit of evidence that suggests that um guys that are using screens that are on a combination of pharmaceutical prescription painkillers and or recreational weed I think it is probably causing them to just optimize for comfort and convenience um I would love to see some stats around it but my off the top of my Dome I'd say yes okay I think that's enough for today but before you go I want to say a big thank you to Zachary and Miguel from aiship.co they were the people who made the Chris bot for me I don't know whether you thought that was cool today I think it's really funny to kind of ask a language learning model version of me the questions if you think I should keep doing that on the next few q and A's then just say so but that was great um so Zachary Miguel from aiship.com if you need an AI solution they can do all sorts of things and you can check out the site it's linked in the description below aiship.com that's it I'll see you at 900k what's happening people thank you very much for tuning in if you enjoyed that episode then press here for a selection of the best clips from the podcast over the last few weeks and don't forget to subscribe peace foreign [Music]